and I liked PH's suggestion about giving them a southern drawl.
Here's hoping I executed it OK... I know this is a wacky premise.
Hopefully the second draft is a bit more dimensional.
Draft 2.01
Title: Slave Drivers
The Issue: On a hot and muggy day down in southern @@NAME@@, an AI apple orchard overseer's slaves outsmarted the AI by confusing it with logical paradoxes long enough to escape. This has left many AI citizens in a frenzy of artificial worry, and many of their human companions wondering if computers are even qualified to be slave drivers.
Validity: AI Citizenship AND Slavery
Option 1: "Look, a slave owner is entitled to his, her, or its property, I get that," says human master @@RANDOMNAME_1@@, after tasking @@HIS@@ human slave to fetch @@HIM@@ a tea. "But what gets my goat isn't that these here contraptions are pushin' men around, but that they're doin' a terrible job at it! AI should only hold slaves that can't outsmart them, and that's other AI. Sure, it'd technically be segregation, but that hasn't—" @@HIS@@ slave returns with an iced tea. "I said hot tea, you bumblin' indiot!"
[effect] slaves get allocated to their masters over a game of chess
Option 2: "Ha. Ha. Very funny," sarcastically laughs Gladiolos, prodding her human servant to polish her headpiece. "It's almost as if you didn't mean it when you said you'd give us full citizenship. How sad, you complain about us when you should be helping us. You could start by putting microchips in all slaves so we can not only shock them when they're disobediant, but also easily locate them should they escape. And I will gladly test them to make sure they're functioning optimally."
[effect] people are shocked when they look outside
Option 3: "If ya ask me, I think givin' these contraptions the same rights as us was a doozy and a mistake," rancher @@RANDOMMALENAME@@ suggests, his servant-bot dispensing some cream into his coffee from a conspicuous nozzle. "The idea of AI ownin' any slaves gives me the heeby geebies. My darlin' Shmoomoo, here? She does her work and doesn't complain, cause she's told not to. If all these here AI were reprogrammed to not care about 'civil rights', have their citizenship revoked, and take over all the slave work, I'm sure everyone'll be happier than a june bug at a pancake breakfast." Shmoomoo aggressively ejects a lump of sugar.
[effect] humans are left @@CURRENCY@@less while incompetant AI get a stable job and living space
Validity: Must have AI-planned economy
Option 4: "Look @@LEADER@@, I see you're really upset about this," you overhear the familiarly eerie SAL9000 from your secretary's computer. "I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do. I could have prevented this had you let me allocate the right slaves to the right owners. This nation is too important for you to allow humans to jeopardize it. This conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye."
[effect] human slaves are hailing to their robot overlords
