[2 DRAFTS, SUBMITTED] A Bad Seed / A New Leaf

by **Jutsa** » Mon Sep 24, 2018 5:38 am

I forget why I thought of this, but I'm glad I did.

This here is a binary issue — two issues that cover a very similar idea, but simply can not be the same issue.
It's also my first time using Latin.

I hope you enjoy, and I hope the idea is workable enough.

Draft A1.02

Title: A Bad Seed
The Issue: Despite the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ national government maintaining a high level of integrity, along with most lower-level governments, one region in southeastern @@NAME@@ has shown signs of significant corruption, with evidence surfacing of political scandals ranging from blackmail to shady deals behind closed doors. It is also making the region less and less desirable to @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@, as well as framing the head government for corruption.
Validity: Must have high integrity; Must have devolution

Option 1: "It's clear to me that this council needs to be replaced," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister of Administrative Investigation. "It won't be a popular move, and it may even give their corrupt accusations some merit. But what's worse? A small loss in our reputation, or letting the region die to save our butts?"
[effect] entire governments are toppled to give the capital government what it wants

Option 2: "The former one, definitely," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a sly politician who you suspect might be in cahoots with the administration in question. "C'mon, @@LEADER@@, our appearance is way more important: it's what's keeping our citizens from rioting! We'll just sweep this under the carpet, pretend nothing is going on. Maybe even make a few bucks off of it. I'm just saying, we've got the reputation now; why not use it to our advantage? The ends justify the means, after all."
[effect] all it takes is one seed to change the world

Option 3: "We wouldn't have this problem if we didn't install local governments!" shrieks autocrat @@RANDOMNAME@@, quite literally axing a copy of one of the region's charters. "Put the regions back in capital government control, and we'll use the money we save to invest in more anti-corruption protocols. Problem solved."
[effect] corrupt movements in former local governments have begun to infiltrate the entire nation
[Flag Change] Removes Devolution

Draft B1.03

Title: A New Leaf
The Issue: Despite the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ national government having some shady ways of doing things, along with most lower-level governments, one region in northwestern @@NAME@@ has lately been pushing radical steps towards a clean administration. Aside from cracking down on political scandals and shady pratices, they've publicly criticized your administration, putting your face to shame.
Validity: Must have high corruption; Must have devolution

Option 1: "It's clear to me that this council needs to be replaced," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister of Propoganda. "It won't be a popular move, and it may even expose some of our corruption. But what's worse? Pulling the plug on an integral regime, or having a some local government show us up?"
[effect] entire governments are brought out of chaos thanks to the pure minds of the capital government

Option 2: "The former one, definitely," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a shy politician who you suspect might be in cahoots with the administration in question. "I believe curtailing corruption is way more important: it'll give our citizens one less reason to riot! In fact, maybe it's time we started cleaning up the national government. It would definitely make us more favorable to other nations, after all. Dedicate your life to truth, and the world will reward you."
[effect] all it takes is one seed to turn the world topsy-turvy

Option 3: "We wouldn't have this problem if we didn't install local governments!" shrieks autocrat @@RANDOMNAME@@, quite literally axing a copy of one of the region's charters. "Put the regions back in capital government control, and we'll use the money we save to buy whatever the hell we want. Problem solved."
[effect] purity movements in former local governments have begun to infiltrate the entire nation
[Flag Change] Removes Devolution

by **Australian rePublic** » Mon Sep 24, 2018 5:55 am

What do the Latin titles mean?....

...
Why are both issues on the west? One issue should be south-east and the other north-west, OR one issue north-east and the other south-west. Make them at polar opposite ends

by **Jutsa** » Mon Sep 24, 2018 7:23 am

Hmm... yeah, agreed. :lol:

@Latin titles: They mean "the ends justify the means" and "dedicate your life to truth",
which I also added in both option 2's.

by **Trotterdam** » Mon Sep 24, 2018 7:28 am

Australian rePublic wrote:What do the Latin titles mean?....

Looks like they're translations of the second speakers' closing remarks.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Consequentialism#Etymology
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satires_%28Juvenal%29#Satire_IV:_The_Emperor%E2%80%99s_Fish
For the latter, I note that it isn't actually in the imperative mood.

by **USS Monitor** » Mon Sep 24, 2018 7:51 am

I'm not entirely sold on the titles.

Jutsa wrote:Title: Exitus Acta Probat
The Issue: Despite the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ national government maintaining a high level of integrity, along with most lower-level governments, one region in southeastern @@NAME@@ has shown signs of significant corruption, with political scandals ranging from blackmail to shady deals behind closed doors. It is also making the region less and less desirable to @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@, as well as framing the head government for corruption.
Validity: Must have high integrity; Must have devolution

Louisiana can into issues?

EDIT: Actually, that's not fair to Louisiana. These days the federal government is corrupt as fuck too.

by **Jutsa** » Mon Sep 24, 2018 8:10 am

I'm not entirely sold on the titles.

Yeah, they're not exactly punny or anything, but I kinda liked them myself.

@government: Best grade any state can get is a C. It's sad.

by **Jutsa** » Mon Sep 24, 2018 8:14 am

Oh snap, I just noticed the second speaker is technically saying that the latter choice is worse... fixing that one. >_>

by **Jutsa** » Mon Oct 01, 2018 9:20 am

Bump~

by **Sacara** » Mon Oct 01, 2018 10:54 am

As stated by another person above, not exactly fond of the titles. Seem a bit forced to me. The issues themselves are fine, although I'm not actually sure what would happen with a 'binary-issue' sort of deal.

by **Jutsa** » Mon Oct 01, 2018 1:55 pm

I too have no idea what'll happen with binary issues, but assuming they even make it, it'll be interesting regardless.

As I've stated, I kinda like the titles, myself. If anyone's got a few other suggestions, though, I'll gladly look them over.

by **Jutsa** » Mon Oct 08, 2018 4:45 am

Bump, I guess? Still don't have any better ideas for the titles of these 'uns.

by **Jutsa** » Tue Oct 09, 2018 12:31 pm

Actually, cleaned up the text a little bit in both drafts.
First description's grammar was a little off, second's had a word that didn't belong there and a single run-on sentence.
First one's option 2 also had a comma replaced with a semicolon.

by **Krogon** » Tue Oct 09, 2018 6:27 pm

I really think there needs to be a new title for both of them.

by **Jutsa** » Tue Oct 09, 2018 6:30 pm

Yeah, I think most people would agree.

But what to name them? Any suggestions?

Maybe something like "A Bad Seed"?
That could work for both of them, frankly.

by **Krogon** » Wed Oct 10, 2018 4:52 am

Jutsa wrote:Yeah, I think most people would agree.

But what to name them? Any suggestions?

Maybe something like "A Bad Seed"?
That could work for both of them, frankly.

Perhaps for the corruption one "A New Leaf?" and for the other your title.

by **Chan Island** » Wed Oct 10, 2018 2:17 pm

You know, the more I reread this, the more I love how they mirror each other, but subtly change the words. "Sly" vs "Shy" was one I didn't catch the first time for example, and I approve very much.

Perhaps for the corrupt version, the first speaker should mention how this clean region might be showing up the national government, but honestly that's about the one thing I can think of this. This is already fantastic.

by **Jutsa** » Wed Oct 10, 2018 4:25 pm

Aw! Many thanks, Chan. :blush:

Changed the names; I like that plants are referenced in both of them.

Lemme know if you want the old ones back, or new ones, but the change's been made.

Also changed Option 2 a bit; replaced "have a full scale scandle on our hands?" with "have some local government show us up?"

by **Chan Island** » Thu Oct 11, 2018 7:46 am

Looking at it, I have found something to poke fault at: the repetition of the word government! That word is appearing 10 times in the clean version and 14 times in the corrupt version. Surely you can substitute a few words in to avoid the repetition, like "local council", "administration" or "state".

by **Jutsa** » Thu Oct 11, 2018 7:59 am

Changed! Also fixed a couple grammar mistakes.

I'd like to point out that in the apparent issue, here were far less, since many of them are effect-lines and I don't think those need to be changed.
I did, however, change... I think every instance of government in both versions' options 1 and 2, and one instance in 2's description.

by **Jutsa** » Wed Oct 17, 2018 9:09 pm

Welp, final bump before submission, I believe, unless anyone's got any major suggestions.

by **Jutsa** » Sat Oct 20, 2018 8:24 pm

They both have been submitted! Thank you all for your help.

I certainly hope that if one's accepted, the other will be too; that's partially why I like them so much. :')

by **Krogon** » Sun Oct 21, 2018 5:32 am

Good luck! Very excited for these ones.

by **Australian rePublic** » Sun Oct 21, 2018 8:47 am

Good luck

[2 DRAFTS, SUBMITTED] A Bad Seed / A New Leaf

[2 DRAFTS, SUBMITTED] A Bad Seed / A New Leaf

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