[added] The Boys From Brasilistan

by **USS Monitor** » Sat Sep 15, 2018 10:04 pm

A long time ago, like over a year ago, I thought it would be cool to do an issue riffing on The Boys From Brazil. I started writing it, but then mod stuff happened -- maybe I was promoted to game mod, maybe we had some controversy, maybe I was just going through an "OMG, I have to clean up ALL the reports" phase -- I dunno. And RL happened. And I kind of forgot about it and left it unfinished.

Well, I decided to finally take a shot at finishing it... Not sure how well it actually works, though.

The Boys From Brasilistan

[desc]A report from your Intelligence Ministry reveals that an illegal lab deep in the jungles of Brasilistan has created several clones of the infamous genocidal dictator Lee Terallihitlah, a.k.a. "the Butcher of Bigtopia," and placed them with adopted families scattered around the world, including some in @@NAME@@.

[option]"These children are a grave danger to the world!" says death camp survivor @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Think what would happen if one of them rose to power in @@NAME@@ and repeated Terallihitlah's crimes here. They have to be closely monitored to make sure that never happens."
[effect]police use DNA evidence to solve crimes that haven't happened yet

[option]"That's not enough!" yells Bigtopian human rights activist @@RANDOMNAME@@. "What if someone marries them without knowing? What if they have kids? Terallihitlah systematically murdered millions of Bigtopians because he believed we were genetically inferior. We can't allow his DNA to stay in the gene pool!"
[effect]a recent "genocide prevention" campaign includes murdering children based on their DNA

[option]"What is wrong with you people?" civil rights lawyer @@RANDOMNAME@@ wants to know. "Don't we have anything better to do than judge people by their DNA? These children aren't Lee Terallihitlah and they haven't done anything wrong. It should be illegal to discriminate against people based on their genes."
[effect]drug addicts demand treatment for genetic disorders they don't have

[option]"Hey, like, maybe we can use this," says controversial pop singer Britney Speer, as she bounces into your office dressed in a bizarre mix of sequins, body paint, and fascist regalia. "You can recruit the clones to work for you and have them travel the country promoting patriotism. What could possibly go wrong?"
[effect]politicians look weirdly alike

by **Aclion** » Sun Sep 16, 2018 3:10 am

Well that's an... interesting premise. I notice the effect of option three doesn't really follow from the option though.

by **Australian rePublic** » Sun Sep 16, 2018 5:24 am

So we're assuming that evil is genetic?

by **USS Monitor** » Sun Sep 16, 2018 7:32 am

Aclion wrote:Well that's an... interesting premise. I notice the effect of option three doesn't really follow from the option though.

The idea behind it is they're not allowed to be discriminated against based on whether they have the disorder or not. So they can't be denied "treatment."

Australian rePublic wrote:So we're assuming that evil is genetic?

You can choose option 3 if you don't think evil is genetic.

by **Jutsa** » Sun Sep 16, 2018 8:08 am

Oof, this is a good one. A really weird and possibly too out-there one, but a good one regardless.

All I can say is this is a heart-wrenching dilemma and I'm surprised to say, as a pacifist, I'd probably pick option 1.

by **Trotterdam** » Sun Sep 16, 2018 9:25 am

You know, even if they weren't clones, the fact that they were initially raised by an evil cult would probably bode ill.

by **USS Monitor** » Sun Sep 16, 2018 9:39 am

Trotterdam wrote:You know, even if they weren't clones, the fact that they were initially raised by an evil cult would probably bode ill.

The adoptive families aren't necessarily in on it. In the book that inspired this, the adoptive parents weren't in on it. In the issue, I'm OK with it being ambiguous.

by **Krogon** » Sun Sep 16, 2018 12:49 pm

USS Monitor wrote:The Boys From Brasilistan

[desc]A report from your Intelligence Ministry reveals that an illegal lab deep in the jungles of Brasilistan has created several clones of the infamous genocidal dictator Lee Terallihitlah and placed them with adopted families scattered around the world, including some in @@NAME@@.

Maybe make this two sentences?

USS Monitor wrote:[option]"These children are a grave danger to the world!" says death camp survivor, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Think of what would happen if one of them rose to power in @@NAME@@ and repeated Terallihitlah's crimes here. They have to be closely monitored to make sure that never happens."

Seems kind of short, without a lot of substance to it.

USS Monitor wrote:[effect]police use DNA testing to solve crimes that haven't happened yet

[option]"That's not enough!" yells Bigtopian human rights activist @@RANDOMNAME@@. "What if someone marries them without knowing? What if they have kids? Terallihitlah systematically murdered millions of Bigtopians because he believed we were genetically inferior. We can't allow his DNA to stay in the gene pool!"
[effect]a recent "genocide prevention" campaign includes murdering children based on their DNA

Usually option 2 would be something opposing the first view point, while option 3 is an out of this world idea. I'd rearrange the options like so: 3, 1, 2.

USS Monitor wrote:[option]"What is wrong with you people?" civil rights lawyer @@RANDOMNAME@@ wants to know. "Don't we have anything better to do than judge people by their DNA? These children aren't Lee Terallihitlah and they haven't done anything wrong. It should be illegal to discriminate against people based on their genes."
[effect]drug addicts demand treatment for genetic disorders they don't have

Either way, great issue! I like to see some Sci-Fi in issues sometimes!

by **USS Monitor** » Sun Sep 16, 2018 2:27 pm

Krogon wrote:Usually option 2 would be something opposing the first view point, while option 3 is an out of this world idea. I'd rearrange the options like so: 3, 1, 2.

Changing the order would require rewriting the dialogue to change the way the characters react to each other, which I don't think is worth doing.

by **Krogon** » Sun Sep 16, 2018 3:04 pm

USS Monitor wrote:
Krogon wrote:Usually option 2 would be something opposing the first view point, while option 3 is an out of this world idea. I'd rearrange the options like so: 3, 1, 2.

Changing the order would require rewriting the dialogue to change the way the characters react to each other, which I don't think is worth doing.

fair enough

by **Candlewhisper Archive** » Tue Sep 18, 2018 1:31 am

Great premise, really original.

by **USS Monitor** » Tue Sep 18, 2018 9:00 pm

Do other people agree with Aclion that the connection between option 3 and its effect line is not clear enough?

I like the effect line for option 1 a lot, but the ones for option 2 and 3 are just kinda... serviceable, but not amazing. 2 is too long. 3 should definitely be something stupid that happens because of being unable to rely on DNA, but I had trouble figuring out specifically what to put. Would "DNA evidence is no longer admissible in court" be better?

by **Trotterdam** » Wed Sep 19, 2018 2:37 am

USS Monitor wrote:I like the effect line for option 1 a lot, but the ones for option 2 and 3 are just kinda... serviceable, but not amazing.

I like the one for option 2.

Option 1 less so, it's too straightforward and just describes the decision without much of a joke.

by **Caracasus** » Wed Sep 19, 2018 4:12 am

I would swap murdering with sterilizing in effect line 2. There's no suggestion that the kids will be killed, and sterilization makes more sense given the speaker while the effect line still manages to get across the admittedly very dark humour.

by **Trotterdam** » Wed Sep 19, 2018 4:52 am

Caracasus wrote:I would swap murdering with sterilizing in effect line 2. There's no suggestion that the kids will be killed, and sterilization makes more sense given the speaker while the effect line still manages to get across the admittedly very dark humour.

That probably means the option text should be changed rather than the effect line, then. Sterilizing isn't really much of an answer when there's already a bunch of people with the genes you're scared of running around, and it's been clearly established that cloning technology exists.

Many dictators' families didn't even stay in power for more than one generation, so their children really aren't who you should be worried about.

Also, we have #1050 for the ethics of sterilizing criminals.

by **USS Monitor** » Wed Sep 19, 2018 7:41 am

Caracasus wrote:I would swap murdering with sterilizing in effect line 2. There's no suggestion that the kids will be killed, and sterilization makes more sense given the speaker while the effect line still manages to get across the admittedly very dark humour.

I thought about that, but since it's already the crazy option, I decided to go ahead and go off the deep end.

Trotterdam wrote:
Caracasus wrote:I would swap murdering with sterilizing in effect line 2. There's no suggestion that the kids will be killed, and sterilization makes more sense given the speaker while the effect line still manages to get across the admittedly very dark humour.
That probably means the option text should be changed rather than the effect line, then. Sterilizing isn't really much of an answer when there's already a bunch of people with the genes you're scared of running around, and it's been clearly established that cloning technology exists.

Some sterilization techniques are reversible too.

I could change it, but I'm not sure if I want to.

Trotterdam wrote:
USS Monitor wrote:I like the effect line for option 1 a lot, but the ones for option 2 and 3 are just kinda... serviceable, but not amazing.
I like the one for option 2.

Option 1 less so, it's too straightforward and just describes the decision without much of a joke.

Made a slight change to option 1, even though it's still the same concept.

by **Jutsa** » Wed Sep 19, 2018 8:07 am

Naeh, I'm not for the idea of sterilization. That doesn't stop the clones themselves, really.

by **Krogon** » Wed Sep 19, 2018 2:11 pm

Jutsa wrote:Naeh, I'm not for the idea of sterilization. That doesn't stop the clones themselves, really.

^^^^^^^

by **Krogon** » Wed Sep 19, 2018 2:14 pm

USS Monitor wrote:"What is wrong with you people?" civil rights lawyer @@RANDOMNAME@@ wants to know.

Don't really like the shape of this sentence, just "says" might do.

by **Jutsa** » Wed Sep 19, 2018 2:22 pm

Eh, I disagree. It adds a bit of contrast to the normal way of doing things.

by **Krogon** » Wed Sep 19, 2018 5:22 pm

still, it feels kinda weird to me

but that's just my opinion

by **USS Monitor** » Wed Sep 19, 2018 8:10 pm

I use "says" a lot and some people get bored with it.

by **Sacara** » Wed Sep 19, 2018 8:41 pm

USS Monitor wrote:I use "says" a lot and some people get bored with it.

Thank you for changing it up.

by **Krogon** » Thu Sep 20, 2018 1:54 pm

Maybe include the fact that this guy is the Butcher of Bigtopia, because that's what I assume you were going for. If you don't know what I'm talking about, then I don't know the issue #, but I believe it's one of the original 30.

by **USS Monitor** » Thu Sep 20, 2018 8:07 pm

Krogon wrote:Maybe include the fact that this guy is the Butcher of Bigtopia, because that's what I assume you were going for. If you don't know what I'm talking about, then I don't know the issue #, but I believe it's one of the original 30.

This is actually completely unrelated, and it's pure coincidence that I picked Bigtopians as his victims. Now I need to look up that issue and see if I want them to be the same character or not...

I also had an idea about adding an option where you recruit the clones to work for your government and promote patriotism.

[added] The Boys From Brasilistan

[added] The Boys From Brasilistan

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