[DRAFT] Z is for Stupid [submitted!]

by **North Fork Kir Isle** » Tue May 22, 2018 2:12 am

New draft (thanks Australion rePublic!)

[title] “Z" is For “Stupid"

[desc] A study into @@NAME@@'s intelligence has indicated that there has been a gradual decline in average intelligence over the past century. Scientists are worried that if the trend continues, @@NAME@@ will be over-run by anti-intellectualism in the next 100 years. The study was mostly ignored until a recent trend of university students washing their hands at urinals had emerged. You have now been called into a meeting about the matter

[validity] Invalid for nations with intelligence over 50, co-authors Australian rePublic, North Fork Kir Isles, adults only

[option] "This is disastrous!" panics scientist, @@RANDOMNAME_1@@, whilst double-checking the results, "We need to re-examine our education system. We need to promote intellectualism and we need to stamp out anti-intellectualism at its core. We don't have much time remaining, but if we act now, we could preserve our intellect!"
[effect] a massive crusade against reality TV has begun

[option] "My colleague here doesn't want to address the elephant in the room," suggests @@RANDOMNAME@@, who runs a high-IQ sperm bank "What @@HE_1@@ seems to be missing is that genetics play a role in human intelligence. The issue here is that whilst the intelligent amongst us are abstaining from having children, those with lower IQs are breeding like rabbits. We need to incentivise smart people to have children."
[effect] @@NAME@@ now has the highest fertility rate of all @@REGION@@

[option] "Did someone say genetics?" enthusiastically asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, wearing a 1940's style military uniform, "The solution is eugenics! We need to sterilise the stupid and manipulate the genes of all babies. Then we'll have a hyper-intelligent race, who will remain superior. @@MOTTO@@, @@MOTTO@@, @@MOTTO@@."
[effect] books written in @@NAME@@ are no longer intelligible by outsiders

[option] "Oh my gaw, like why do these egg heads think we're like stoope?" asks @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, sipping the most expensive coffee on the market," Like, they're the stupid ones! These nerds are like toats jeally 'cause they like can't get laid or whatever!"
[effect] Brawndo has what plants crave

[option] “That just gave me a really cool idea”, says @@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@, the CEO of Stellar TV. “Instead of spending so much @@CURRENCY@@ on methods that won’t work, we should let Mother Nature do the work for us. We force everyone to participate, then we let them do their thing, all captured on film. Talk about hitting two birds with one stone.”
[effect] @@NAME@@'s population now pales in comparison to that of Vatican City

Old draft:

by **Australian rePublic** » Tue May 22, 2018 2:22 am

Washing hands at urinals? Is that an exclusively male problem?

by **The Free Joy State** » Tue May 22, 2018 2:39 am

There are options that bring in eugenics on Issue #432.2, Issue #491.1, and #499.2, already.

Added to which, this issue doesn't flow.

People are urinating (I assume) on their hands instead of washing them, for some reason that's never explained.

How does this even relate to wanting to introduce eugenics? Why would it be teachers who want to introduce eugentics? Is it merely teenagers who are urinating on their hands, in which case your issue probably lies in finding a solution to teenage misbehaviour and not in eugenics at all.

Frankly, this issue has no cohesive story, and you need to establish that before even thinking about options and jokes (and when you have a solid premise, and then solid options, the jokes usually start to come naturally).

When you come to think about options, there's too many crazy options. Unless the issue's meant to have nothing but crazy options (which takes a lot of skill and practice to pull off), a good rule is 2 sensible/tolerable ones to 1 disgusting/evil/crazy one.

by **Australian rePublic** » Tue May 22, 2018 3:59 pm

The Free Joy State wrote:There are options that bring in eugenics on Issue #432.2, Issue #491.1, and #499.2, already.

Added to which, this issue doesn't flow.

People are urinating (I assume) on their hands instead of washing them, for some reason that's never explained.

How does this even relate to wanting to introduce eugenics? Why would it be teachers who want to introduce eugentics? Is it merely teenagers who are urinating on their hands, in which case your issue probably lies in finding a solution to teenage misbehaviour and not in eugenics at all.

Frankly, this issue has no cohesive story, and you need to establish that before even thinking about options and jokes (and when you have a solid premise, and then solid options, the jokes usually start to come naturally).

When you come to think about options, there's too many crazy options. Unless the issue's meant to have nothing but crazy options (which takes a lot of skill and practice to pull off), a good rule is 2 sensible/tolerable ones to 1 disgusting/evil/crazy one.

I think this has something to do with Idiocracy (the society, not the movie) and if not, maybe you, author, should go down that path. I think it would be pretty interesting

by **USS Monitor** » Tue May 22, 2018 9:58 pm

Australian rePublic wrote:Washing hands at urinals? Is that an exclusively male problem?

Of course not. That would imply everyone went in the correct bathroom.

by **Australian rePublic** » Tue May 22, 2018 10:05 pm

USS Monitor wrote:
Australian rePublic wrote:Washing hands at urinals? Is that an exclusively male problem?

Of course not. That would imply everyone went in the correct bathroom.

by **North Fork Kir Isle** » Wed May 23, 2018 3:46 am

The Free Joy State wrote:There are options that bring in eugenics on Issue #432.2, Issue #491.1, and #499.2, already.

Added to which, this issue doesn't flow.

People are urinating (I assume) on their hands instead of washing them, for some reason that's never explained.

How does this even relate to wanting to introduce eugenics? Why would it be teachers who want to introduce eugentics? Is it merely teenagers who are urinating on their hands, in which case your issue probably lies in finding a solution to teenage misbehaviour and not in eugenics at all.

Frankly, this issue has no cohesive story, and you need to establish that before even thinking about options and jokes (and when you have a solid premise, and then solid options, the jokes usually start to come naturally).

When you come to think about options, there's too many crazy options. Unless the issue's meant to have nothing but crazy options (which takes a lot of skill and practice to pull off), a good rule is 2 sensible/tolerable ones to 1 disgusting/evil/crazy one.

Well I had trouble coming up with situations that would make the person seem unintelligent

by **Australian rePublic** » Wed May 23, 2018 3:58 am

North Fork Kir Isle wrote:
The Free Joy State wrote:There are options that bring in eugenics on Issue #432.2, Issue #491.1, and #499.2, already.

Added to which, this issue doesn't flow.

People are urinating (I assume) on their hands instead of washing them, for some reason that's never explained.

How does this even relate to wanting to introduce eugenics? Why would it be teachers who want to introduce eugentics? Is it merely teenagers who are urinating on their hands, in which case your issue probably lies in finding a solution to teenage misbehaviour and not in eugenics at all.

Frankly, this issue has no cohesive story, and you need to establish that before even thinking about options and jokes (and when you have a solid premise, and then solid options, the jokes usually start to come naturally).

When you come to think about options, there's too many crazy options. Unless the issue's meant to have nothing but crazy options (which takes a lot of skill and practice to pull off), a good rule is 2 sensible/tolerable ones to 1 disgusting/evil/crazy one.

Well I had trouble coming up with situations that would make the person seem unintelligent

Just explain how it works.

by **Australian rePublic** » Wed May 23, 2018 4:00 am

Also, effect for option 3- don't drag God into it

by **Australian rePublic** » Wed May 23, 2018 4:25 pm

It's yours if you want it

[title] “Z" is For “Stooped"

[desc] A study into @@NAME@@'s intelligence has indicated that there has been a gradual decline in average intelligence over the past century. Scientists are worried that if the trend continues, @@NAME@@ will be over-run by anti-intellectualism in the next 100 years. When schools discovered children washing their hands at urinals, you were called into a meeting

[validity] Invalid for nations with intelligence over 50, co-authors Australian rePublic, North Fork Kir Isles, adults only

[option] "This is disastrous!" panics scientist, @@RANDOMNAME_1@@, whilst double-checking the results, "We need to re-examine our education system. We need to promote intellectualism and we need to stamp out anti-intellectualism at its core. We don't have much time remaining, but if we act now, we could preserve our intellect!"
[effect] a massive crusade against reality TV has begun

[option] "My colleague here doesn't want to address the elephant in the room," suggests @@RANDOMNAME@@, who runs a high-IQ sperm bank "What @@HE_1@@ seems to be missing is that genetics play a role in human intelligence. The issue here is that whilst the intelligent amongst us are abstaining from having children, those with lower IQs are breeding like rabbits. We need to incentivise smart people to have children."
[effect]

[option] "Did someone say genetics?" enthusiastically asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, wearing a 1940's style military uniform, "The solution is eugenics! We need to sterilise the stupid and manipulate the genes of all babies. Then we'll have a hyper-intelligent race, who will remain superior. @@MOTTO@@, @@MOTTO@@, @@MOTTO@@."
[effect]

[option] "Oh my gaw, like why do these egg heads think we're like stoope?" asks @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, sipping the most expensive coffee on the market," Like, they're the stupid ones! These nerds are like toats jeally 'cause they like can't get laid or whatever!"
[effect] Brawndo has what plants crave

by **North Fork Kir Isle** » Thu May 24, 2018 3:28 am

Australian rePublic wrote:It's yours if you want it

[title] “Z" is For “Stooped"

[desc] A study into @@NAME@@'s intelligence has indicated that there has been a gradual decline in average intelligence over the past century. Scientists are worried that if the trend continues, @@NAME@@ will be over-run by anti-intellectualism in the next 100 years. When schools discovered children washing their hands at urinals, you were called into a meeting

[validity] Invalid for nations with intelligence over 50, co-authors Australian rePublic, North Fork Kir Isles, adults only

[option] "This is disastrous!" panics scientist, @@RANDOMNAME_1@@, whilst double-checking the results, "We need to re-examine our education system. We need to promote intellectualism and we need to stamp out anti-intellectualism at its core. We don't have much time remaining, but if we act now, we could preserve our intellect!"
[effect] a massive crusade against reality TV has begun

[option] "My colleague here doesn't want to address the elephant in the room," suggests @@RANDOMNAME@@, who runs a high-IQ sperm bank "What @@HE_1@@ seems to be missing is that genetics play a role in human intelligence. The issue here is that whilst the intelligent amongst us are abstaining from having children, those with lower IQs are breeding like rabbits. We need to incentivise smart people to have children."
[effect]

[option] "Did someone say genetics?" enthusiastically asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, wearing a 1940's style military uniform, "The solution is eugenics! We need to sterilise the stupid and manipulate the genes of all babies. Then we'll have a hyper-intelligent race, who will remain superior. @@MOTTO@@, @@MOTTO@@, @@MOTTO@@."
[effect]

[option] "Oh my gaw, like why do these egg heads think we're like stoope?" asks @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, sipping the most expensive coffee on the market," Like, they're the stupid ones! These nerds are like toats jeally 'cause they like can't get laid or whatever!"
[effect] Brawndo has what plants crave

It's really good! I'll submit this one instead ,and maybe add the Hunger games option too

by **Australian rePublic** » Thu May 24, 2018 3:30 am

North Fork Kir Isle wrote:
Australian rePublic wrote:It's yours if you want it

[title] “Z" is For “Stooped"

[desc] A study into @@NAME@@'s intelligence has indicated that there has been a gradual decline in average intelligence over the past century. Scientists are worried that if the trend continues, @@NAME@@ will be over-run by anti-intellectualism in the next 100 years. When schools discovered children washing their hands at urinals, you were called into a meeting

[validity] Invalid for nations with intelligence over 50, co-authors Australian rePublic, North Fork Kir Isles, adults only

[option] "This is disastrous!" panics scientist, @@RANDOMNAME_1@@, whilst double-checking the results, "We need to re-examine our education system. We need to promote intellectualism and we need to stamp out anti-intellectualism at its core. We don't have much time remaining, but if we act now, we could preserve our intellect!"
[effect] a massive crusade against reality TV has begun

[option] "My colleague here doesn't want to address the elephant in the room," suggests @@RANDOMNAME@@, who runs a high-IQ sperm bank "What @@HE_1@@ seems to be missing is that genetics play a role in human intelligence. The issue here is that whilst the intelligent amongst us are abstaining from having children, those with lower IQs are breeding like rabbits. We need to incentivise smart people to have children."
[effect]

[option] "Did someone say genetics?" enthusiastically asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, wearing a 1940's style military uniform, "The solution is eugenics! We need to sterilise the stupid and manipulate the genes of all babies. Then we'll have a hyper-intelligent race, who will remain superior. @@MOTTO@@, @@MOTTO@@, @@MOTTO@@."
[effect]

[option] "Oh my gaw, like why do these egg heads think we're like stoope?" asks @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, sipping the most expensive coffee on the market," Like, they're the stupid ones! These nerds are like toats jeally 'cause they like can't get laid or whatever!"
[effect] Brawndo has what plants crave

It's really good! I'll submit this one instead ,and maybe add the Hunger games option too

Don't submit it yet. Post it as second draft in the Opening post and wait for feedback (and whilst you're at it, change the thread title)

by **Australian rePublic** » Thu May 24, 2018 3:32 am

Also, if you wanna add a new option, keep it short and sweet
This issue is long enough as it is

by **North Fork Kir Isle** » Thu May 24, 2018 4:24 am

Australian rePublic wrote:Also, if you wanna add a new option, keep it short and sweet
This issue is long enough as it is

Done!

by **Australian rePublic** » Thu May 24, 2018 4:42 am

As a general rule of thumb, the more options there are, the shorter each individual option has to be. Taking that into account, this issue is a bit too long, but only a bit. Cut it down a bit. Also, option 5 you can't really call it "The Hunger Games" due to copyright. Given the context, you could (probably) get away with Brawndo under fair use, but "Hunger Games" is a bit much. Call it a "death game" or something.

Also, for option 5's effect, just remember that people are able to read effects without knowing what the issue was. The effect has to make sense with no context. Also, please fill in the blanks for the missing effects that I couldn't think of

Also, I'm not happy with my wording of the description (I really gotta learning to proof-read BEFORE pressing submit. I have a bad habbit of doing so afterward) I wanna slightly change it. Just fix the grammar a bit;

Sorry if that seemed a but rude, but I am a person who is blunt and to-the-point. I am like that with everyone. This is a reflection of my personality, not your work

by **Australian rePublic** » Thu May 24, 2018 4:57 am

Also, please change the title of thread to be the same as the title of the issue. If you want to keep it as "Z is for Stooped" then write that in the thread title. If you want to change the issue title tob"Dealing With A Lack of Intelligence", then please change it in the issue draft. Keep whichever title you think is funnier. Also please put your first draft inside a spoiler.

If you don't know how to do that, copy the inside of the box and keep everything the same, but replace "Insert Draft Here" with the draft

Code: Select all: [spoiler=First Draft Here]Insert Draft Here[/spoiler]

by **North Fork Kir Isle** » Thu May 24, 2018 5:03 am

Australian rePublic wrote:As a general rule of thumb, the more options there are, the shorter each individual option has to be. Taking that into account, this issue is a bit too long, but only a bit. Cut it down a bit. Also, option 5 you can't really call it "The Hunger Games" due to copyright. Given the context, you could (probably) get away with Brawndo under fair use, but "Hunger Games" is a bit much. Call it a "death game" or something.

Also, for option 5's effect, just remember that people are able to read effects without knowing what the issue was. The effect has to make sense with no context. Also, please fill in the blanks for the missing effects that I couldn't think of

Also, I'm not happy with my wording of the description (I really gotta learning to proof-read BEFORE pressing submit. I have a bad habbit of doing so afterward) I wanna slightly change it. Just fix the grammar a bit;

A study into @@NAME@@'s intelligence has indicated that there has been a gradual decline in average intelligence over the past century. Scientists are worried that if the trend continues, @@NAME@@ will be over-run by anti-intellectualism in the next 100 years. The study was mostly ignored until a recent trend of school children washing their hands at urinals had emerged. You have now been called into a meeting about the matter

Sorry if that seemed a but rude, but I am a person who is blunt and to-the-point. I am like that with everyone. This is a reflection of my personality, not your work

For the second option's effect I put "everyone in @@NAME@@ looks the same" and for the third I put "books written in @@NAME@@ are no longer intelligible by outsiders". I hope that's good enough.

Also for the rudeness bit, I don't think you're rude. I like your straight-to-the-point thing, since it saves me lots of time.

by **Australian rePublic** » Thu May 24, 2018 6:06 am

North Fork Kir Isle wrote:
Australian rePublic wrote:As a general rule of thumb, the more options there are, the shorter each individual option has to be. Taking that into account, this issue is a bit too long, but only a bit. Cut it down a bit. Also, option 5 you can't really call it "The Hunger Games" due to copyright. Given the context, you could (probably) get away with Brawndo under fair use, but "Hunger Games" is a bit much. Call it a "death game" or something.

Also, for option 5's effect, just remember that people are able to read effects without knowing what the issue was. The effect has to make sense with no context. Also, please fill in the blanks for the missing effects that I couldn't think of

Also, I'm not happy with my wording of the description (I really gotta learning to proof-read BEFORE pressing submit. I have a bad habbit of doing so afterward) I wanna slightly change it. Just fix the grammar a bit;

A study into @@NAME@@'s intelligence has indicated that there has been a gradual decline in average intelligence over the past century. Scientists are worried that if the trend continues, @@NAME@@ will be over-run by anti-intellectualism in the next 100 years. The study was mostly ignored until a recent trend of school children washing their hands at urinals had emerged. You have now been called into a meeting about the matter

Sorry if that seemed a but rude, but I am a person who is blunt and to-the-point. I am like that with everyone. This is a reflection of my personality, not your work

For the second option's effect I put "everyone in @@NAME@@ looks the same" and for the third I put "books written in @@NAME@@ are no longer intelligible by outsiders". I hope that's good enough.

Also for the rudeness bit, I don't think you're rude. I like your straight-to-the-point thing, since it saves me lots of time.

1. Can we please change "school children" to "university students. Please. Please
2. Option 2 effect- that doesn't sit well with me, they're making smarter, not prettier, and they still have different biological parents
3. Option 3 effect- they are intelligible to outsiders. Foreign books are not intelligible to @@DENONYMPLURAL@@ who speak the same language, however
4. Effect lines need to be funny, in most cases
5. Come to think about, maybe change the title to "Z is for Stupid"- up to you, though
6. Option 6 effect-Vatican City does not exist in NationStates world

by **North Fork Kir Isle** » Thu May 24, 2018 8:59 am

Australian rePublic wrote:
North Fork Kir Isle wrote:
For the second option's effect I put "everyone in @@NAME@@ looks the same" and for the third I put "books written in @@NAME@@ are no longer intelligible by outsiders". I hope that's good enough.

Also for the rudeness bit, I don't think you're rude. I like your straight-to-the-point thing, since it saves me lots of time.

1. Can we please change "school children" to "university students. Please. Please
2. Option 2 effect- that doesn't sit well with me, they're making smarter, not prettier, and they still have different biological parents
3. Option 3 effect- they are intelligible to outsiders. Foreign books are not intelligible to @@DENONYMPLURAL@@ who speak the same language, however
4. Effect lines need to be funny, in most cases
5. Come to think about, maybe change the title to "Z is for Stupid"- up to you, though
6. Option 6 effect-Vatican City does not exist in NationStates world

Changed school children to university students, option 2 effect to "all numbers above 1 are now unused in placing section of school report cards" and I meant that the nation's bookwriters use really big words that outsiders can't understand without a thesaurus. For the option 6 effect, I can't come up with a way to say that theres a really big drop in citizen count

by **Australian rePublic** » Sat May 26, 2018 3:59 pm

North Fork Kir Isle wrote:
Australian rePublic wrote:1. Can we please change "school children" to "university students. Please. Please
2. Option 2 effect- that doesn't sit well with me, they're making smarter, not prettier, and they still have different biological parents
3. Option 3 effect- they are intelligible to outsiders. Foreign books are not intelligible to @@DENONYMPLURAL@@ who speak the same language, however
4. Effect lines need to be funny, in most cases
5. Come to think about, maybe change the title to "Z is for Stupid"- up to you, though
6. Option 6 effect-Vatican City does not exist in NationStates world

Changed school children to university students, option 2 effect to "all numbers above 1 are now unused in placing section of school report cards" and I meant that the nation's bookwriters use really big words that outsiders can't understand without a thesaurus. For the option 6 effect, I can't come up with a way to say that theres a really big drop in citizen count

Thanks, but that "numbers above 1" reference is a bit confusing

by **The Official United Nations** » Sat May 26, 2018 4:34 pm

The final option seems unclear at present. What do they wish to do?

The 'urinals' description seems flawed, that is weird but not a characteristic trait of 'low intelligence.' It hardly seems like the straw that broke the camel's back, for this issue.

The eugenics option is similar to the previous option. It's not clear that you need several options for that. The 'eugenics' option is more striking, so perhaps keep that.

It also seems hasty to suggest that eugenics will quickly make books sophisticated or obscure. Perhaps say that there is a eugenics program studying how to get people who write such books. At least try to mention that the nation uses 'eugenics' in the effect, as this is potentially a significant political stance. Or merely use the effect for a different option.

The 'Brawndo' effect is already indirect, it could use some explanation. Issue effects here can usually be related to a direct effect on the politics of the nation.

Such 'intelligence' issues need a sense of humour to them, as obviously accusations of 'lacking intelligence' are commonplace in partisan politics. You could see a lot of that in the recent US elections. While it's probably canon in this game, extensively treating it as a serious social issue should retain a humorous angle. Perhaps someone could suggest that the problem be used to stigmatise the opposition, while ignoring the problem itself.

The use of 'stoopee' along with 'urinals' comes across as awkward. The continual mention of such topics can give a negative impression. Perhaps mitigate that somehow, if you don't change the title.

by **Sebalovania** » Sat May 26, 2018 5:00 pm

North Fork Kir Isle wrote:[effect] @@NAME@@'s population now pales in comparison to that of Vatican City

That is, assuming that the Vatican City still exists in whatever alternate world the person who receives this issue is in.

by **Australian rePublic** » Sat May 26, 2018 5:01 pm

The Official United Nations wrote:The final option seems unclear at present. What do they wish to do?

The 'urinals' description seems flawed, that is weird but not a characteristic trait of 'low intelligence.' It hardly seems like the straw that broke the camel's back, for this issue.

The eugenics option is similar to the previous option. It's not clear that you need several options for that. The 'eugenics' option is more striking, so perhaps keep that.

It also seems hasty to suggest that eugenics will quickly make books sophisticated or obscure. Perhaps say that there is a eugenics program studying how to get people who write such books. At least try to mention that the nation uses 'eugenics' in the effect, as this is potentially a significant political stance. Or merely use the effect for a different option.

The 'Brawndo' effect is already indirect, it could use some explanation. Issue effects here can usually be related to a direct effect on the politics of the nation.

Such 'intelligence' issues need a sense of humour to them, as obviously accusations of 'lacking intelligence' are commonplace in partisan politics. You could see a lot of that in the recent US elections. While it's probably canon in this game, extensively treating it as a serious social issue should retain a humorous angle. Perhaps someone could suggest that the problem be used to stigmatise the opposition, while ignoring the problem itself.

The use of 'stoopee' along with 'urinals' comes across as awkward. The continual mention of such topics can give a negative impression. Perhaps mitigate that somehow, if you don't change the title.

The urinal joke was only used once, and I kept it in there to pay homage to the original draft. I used the "stoope" spelling in the "ignore the problem" option, in order to denote a valley girl accent, (same reason why I spelt "God" as "gaw") and I am no longer happy with it spelt like that in the title. The second option is encouraging smart people to have kids where the third is steralising dumb people. I think there's enough of a difference between them. Do you think we should change the wording to make it clearer? I'll let my co-author deal with the rest

by **North Fork Kir Isle** » Sun May 27, 2018 6:13 am

Australian rePublic wrote:
The Official United Nations wrote:The final option seems unclear at present. What do they wish to do?

The 'urinals' description seems flawed, that is weird but not a characteristic trait of 'low intelligence.' It hardly seems like the straw that broke the camel's back, for this issue.

The eugenics option is similar to the previous option. It's not clear that you need several options for that. The 'eugenics' option is more striking, so perhaps keep that.

It also seems hasty to suggest that eugenics will quickly make books sophisticated or obscure. Perhaps say that there is a eugenics program studying how to get people who write such books. At least try to mention that the nation uses 'eugenics' in the effect, as this is potentially a significant political stance. Or merely use the effect for a different option.

The 'Brawndo' effect is already indirect, it could use some explanation. Issue effects here can usually be related to a direct effect on the politics of the nation.

Such 'intelligence' issues need a sense of humour to them, as obviously accusations of 'lacking intelligence' are commonplace in partisan politics. You could see a lot of that in the recent US elections. While it's probably canon in this game, extensively treating it as a serious social issue should retain a humorous angle. Perhaps someone could suggest that the problem be used to stigmatise the opposition, while ignoring the problem itself.

The use of 'stoopee' along with 'urinals' comes across as awkward. The continual mention of such topics can give a negative impression. Perhaps mitigate that somehow, if you don't change the title.

The urinal joke was only used once, and I kept it in there to pay homage to the original draft. I used the "stoope" spelling in the "ignore the problem" option, in order to denote a valley girl accent, (same reason why I spelt "God" as "gaw") and I am no longer happy with it spelt like that in the title. The second option is encouraging smart people to have kids where the third is steralising dumb people. I think there's enough of a difference between them. Do you think we should change the wording to make it clearer? I'll let my co-author deal with the rest

Well I changed it to stoopeed to make it seem like they misspelled stupid, but since you said it's not very good i'll change it back to stooped. Dumb me didn't know what does stooped meant so I googled it .Also for clearing things up, the "numbers above 1 are unused" thing meant that everyone got the same score .

by **Australian rePublic** » Sun May 27, 2018 7:37 am

RE: Title, on second thought, the z part is stupid enough, the mispelling overdoes it
As for the effect line, maybe something better?

[DRAFT] Z is for Stupid [submitted!]

[DRAFT] Z is for Stupid [submitted!]

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