NATION

PASSWORD

[DRAFT] Son of a Brick!

A place to spoil daily issues for those who haven't had them yet, snigger at typos, and discuss ideas for new ones.
User avatar
Fauxia
Senator
 
Posts: 3885
Founded: Dec 22, 2016
Authoritarian Democracy

[DRAFT] Son of a Brick!

Postby Fauxia » Mon May 14, 2018 8:22 pm

Am I rusty? Yes, it’s basically about freemasonry

[description] As you finally can get around to dealing with your mail, you see a tip-off from an anonymous government official. The tip claims a disproportionate amount of cabinet members have ties to untrustworthy organizations. It includes photographic evidence of several at a meeting of the secretive group known as the Sons of a Brick.

[validity] all nations

[option] "I'm not a Son of a b- okay, I am, I am," stutters your Foreign Minister after looking at the photograph. "Listen, @@LEADER@@, the Sons of a Brick are really just a group of friends that like to eat, drink, and discuss how to subvert- ahem, improve the country. Many @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ heroes were Sons of a Brick; our Secret World History textbook says so! There's no reason to fear us. In fact, we can send you some of our special cake as a token of gratitude for being such an awesome leader."
[fallout] social class is defined by the number of secret societies one is a member of

[option] "I don't like this at all," whispers the shadow of the anonymous junior official, in a voice inaudible to anyone other than you. "We clearly don't know enough about these Sons of a Brick to trust them, or any secret society. There is no choice but to dismiss all ministers with ties to the Sons of a Brick, and begin the investigation of all secret societies, to make sure that they aren't attempting to overthrow you."
[fallout] the Ministry of Secret Occultist Brotherhood Screening is the largest ministry but no one knows that

[option] "There’s an easy way to investigate this, @@LEADER@@!" exclaims your ever-present Minister of Creative Solutions, holding a toy trolley in one hand and several small figurines in the other. "You yourself must join the Sons of a Brick and investigate them yourself. If they seem subversive to you, you can shut them down. If the organization is safe, then let them continue! A little investigation can solve anything."
[fallout] @@LEADER@@ is known as "the government’s private investigator"

[description] You received an anonymous tip-off in a letter from an anonymous junior official of an undisclosed ministry that several of your cabinet ministers are members of the secretive organization known as the Sons of a Brick. The letter included photographic evidence of five ministers in a meeting of the Sons of a Brick. several of your cabinet ministers are members of the secretive organization known as the Sons of a Brick. The letter included photographic evidence of five ministers in a meeting of the Sons of a Brick.

[validity] all nations

[option] "I'm not a Son of a b- okay, I am, I am," stutters your Foreign Minister after looking at the photograph. "Listen though @@LEADER@@, The Sons of a Brick are really just a group of friends that like to eat, drink, and discuss how to subvert- I mean, improve the country. Many @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ heroes were Sons of a Brick; just read our Secret World History textbook! There's no reason to fear us. In fact, we can send you some of our special cake as a token of gratitude for being such an awesome leader."
[fallout] social class is defined by the number of secret societies one is a member of

[option] "I don't like this at all," whispers the shadow of the anonymous junior official, in a voice inaudible to anyone else. "We clearly don't know enough about these Sons of a Brick to trust them, or any secret society. There is no choice left but to dismiss all ministers with ties to the Sons of a Brick, and begin the investigation of all secret societies, to make sure that they aren't attempting to subvert the nation."
[fallout] the Ministry of Studying Secretly Subversive Organizations is the largest in the government


[description] You received an anonymous tip-off in a letter from an anonymous junior official of an undisclosed ministry that several of your cabinet ministers are members of the secretive organization known as the Sons of a Brick. The letter included photographic evidence of five ministers in a meeting of the Sons of a Brick.

[validity] all nations

[option] "I'm not a Son of a b- okay, I am, I am," stutters your Foreign Minister after looking at the photograph. "Listen though @@LEADER@@, The Sons of a Brick are really just a group of friends that like to eat, drink, and discuss how to subvert- I mean, improve the country. Many @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ heroes were Sons of a Brick; just read our Secret World History textbook! There's no reason to fear us. In fact, we can send you some of our special cake as a token of gratitude for being such an awesome leader."
[fallout] social class is defined by the number of secret societies one is a member of

[option] "I don't like this at all," whispers the shadow of the anonymous junior official, in a voice inaudible to anyone else. "We clearly don't know enough about these Sons of a Brick to trust them, or any secret society. There is no choice left but to dismiss all ministers with ties to the Sons of a Brick, and begin the investigation of all secret societies, to make sure that they aren't attempting to subvert the nation."
[fallout] the Ministry of Studying Secretly Subversive Organizations is the largest in the government

Must have compulsory atheism
[option] "@@LEADER@@, the real issue here is clear," states the Deputy Minister of Atheism, reading philosopher Frederick Neat. "The Sons of a Brick are clearly a religious organization- in their meetings they talk about "the spirits" and "up high" and other clearly religious mumbo-jumbo. You must prosecute all these Ministers for their subversion, and increase funding for the Ministry of Atheism so we can better investigate secret religious organizations, with myself as the new Minister, of course.
[fallout] pubs and bars are considered places of subversive religious activity

Must allow Violetism
[option] "It is something far more precious than the country that the Sons of a Brick attempt to subvert!" screams a Violetist Priest, waving his hands violently either in anger or to summon a spirit. "In their meetings, the Sons of a Brick plot to corrupt the teachings of Her Purpleness. We Violetists demand that you dismiss the Ministers involved, repent before us for appointing such irreverent individuals as Cabinet Ministers, and replace the subversive ministers with Violetists. Do this, or death and destruction shall rain upon us all!"
[fallout] it seems one cult always has significant power over the cabinet


[description] You didn’t believe the tip-off that your cabinet ministers were all members of the secretive organization known as the Stonebreakers. Now, you enter a dimly-lit room to the sound of familiar voices singing "we do, we do." You turn the lights on to your ministers, all wearing traditional Stonebreaker cloaks. The tip-off was right.

[validity] all nations

[option] "@@LEADER@@, the Stonebreakers are just a brotherhood of friends, not a secret society," explains Finance Minister, removing the hood that was distorting his face. "We discuss things, have fun, and party, mostly party. It’s not like we caused @@CAPITAL@@gate or fund Ultra-Violet or something. In fact, many @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ heroes were Stonebreakers. We’re totally trustworthy."
[fallout] social class is defined by the number of secret societies one is a member of

[option] "I don’t like this one bit, @@LEADER@@," whispers your aid, who slipped into the room right next to you without your noticing. "We don’t know enough about these Stonebreakers to trust them, especially considering there’s no evidence any @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ heroes were actually Stonebreakers. The fact that the entire cabinet is made up of Stonebreakers just makes it more suspicious. Investigate the organization, and dismiss all government officials with Stonebreaker ties, before they stage a coup."
[fallout] half of the budget is soent on screening secret organizations

Must not allow religion
[option] "@@LEADER@@, the real issue here is clear," states a junior officer in the Ministry of Atheism. "The Stonebreakers are clearly a religious organization- in their meetings they talk about "the spirits" and "up high" and other clearly religious mumbo-jumbo. You must prosecute all these Ministers for their subversion, and increase funding for the Ministry of Atheism so we can better investigate secret religious organizations, with myself as the new Minister, of course.
[fallout] pubs and bars are considered places subversive religious activity

[option] "We Stonebreakers have great advice on how to run the country," claims your Minister of Foreign Affairs, holding a globe in her hands. "You should join us, and we can rule the world together. Forget those pesky Brancalandians or the terrorist-funding Maxtopians. With our combined minds, we can create a Stonebreaker Empire to ensure freedom throughout the entire world."
[fallout] most @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ soldiers have no idea what the organization they fight for is
Last edited by Fauxia on Fri Aug 24, 2018 5:47 pm, edited 13 times in total.
Not the similarly named Feux.
I have issues.
My views do not represent any government I serve in the unlikely event someone is insane enough to vote for me.
Reploid Productions wrote:Unfortunately, Max still won't buy the mods elite ninja assassin squads to use, so... no such luck.

User avatar
Australian rePublic
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 13700
Founded: Mar 18, 2013
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Australian rePublic » Mon May 14, 2018 10:54 pm

Only one reference to the stonecutters song?
No singing of it?

Who controls the British Crown?
Who keeps the metric system down?
We do, we do
Who keeps Atlantis off the maps?
Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
We do, we do
Who controls the electric car?
Who makes Steven Gutenburg a star?
We do, we do
Who robs cavefish of their sight?
Who rigs every Oscar night?
We do, we do

Also, just call them I think we can get away with just calling them the Stonecutters
From Sydney, NSW. From Greek ansestry. Orthodox Christian
11 Published Issues
Fantastic Song Quotes

User avatar
Candlewhisper Archive
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 15517
Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Capitalizt

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Tue May 15, 2018 1:42 am

My personal rule of thumb is that satirising satire doesn't work. Instead of being clever, it ends up being like a group of nerds who sit in a basement quoting Monty Python - they're acknowledging clever comedy, not creating clever comedy.

A tangential reference to Stonecutters might be fine in an issue about Masonic lodges, but basically lifting all the creativity of a Simpsons episode into an issue isn't good issue writing, it's just borrowing someone else's creativity.

User avatar
Fauxia
Senator
 
Posts: 3885
Founded: Dec 22, 2016
Authoritarian Democracy

Postby Fauxia » Tue May 15, 2018 3:28 pm

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:My personal rule of thumb is that satirising satire doesn't work. Instead of being clever, it ends up being like a group of nerds who sit in a basement quoting Monty Python - they're acknowledging clever comedy, not creating clever comedy.

A tangential reference to Stonecutters might be fine in an issue about Masonic lodges, but basically lifting all the creativity of a Simpsons episode into an issue isn't good issue writing, it's just borrowing someone else's creativity.

It isn't really based on the episode though, besides the one reference and a vague thing about partying. It's more about simply a secret society with a bizarre amount of power.
Not the similarly named Feux.
I have issues.
My views do not represent any government I serve in the unlikely event someone is insane enough to vote for me.
Reploid Productions wrote:Unfortunately, Max still won't buy the mods elite ninja assassin squads to use, so... no such luck.

User avatar
Candlewhisper Archive
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 15517
Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Capitalizt

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Wed May 16, 2018 1:17 am

It feels too heavily referential to me.

Maybe drop the song, and change the name to something directly satirises Masons rather than Stonecutters. Pick a different synonym for Stonecutters, maybe.

Or you could leave it as it is, and probably NoQ will like it. He does love Simpsons references.

User avatar
Chan Island
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1857
Founded: Nov 26, 2015
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Chan Island » Wed May 16, 2018 4:16 am

Hold up- my entire cabinet consists of members of a secret society and only now are they inviting me to join!
There are many ways I could express this, but suffice to say I'd be clicking option 2 with my utopia account very hard indeed, and option 3 if I banned religion even harder. A choice which is too easy right now.

How about only have it be a handful of the cabinet, say 2 or 3 of the ministers are? That way we don't have the entire government being overtaken by this secret cult, yet the cult would be powerful enough with those people to actually get a lot of stereotypical secret organisation sneaky business done.

Also, I'm struggling to get the difference between options 1 and 4. So I join the secret society and... in one of them I pine for world domination and in the other I pine for a glass of Cheri.
Conserative Morality wrote:"It's not time yet" is a tactic used by reactionaries in every era. "It's not time for democracy, it's not time for capitalism, it's not time for emancipation." Of course it's not time. It's never time, not on its own. You make it time. If you're under fire in the no-man's land of WW1, you start digging a foxhole even if the ideal time would be when you *aren't* being bombarded, because once you wait for it to be 'time', other situations will need your attention, assuming you survive that long. If the fields aren't furrowed, plow them. If the iron is not hot, make it so. If society is not ready, change it.

User avatar
Fauxia
Senator
 
Posts: 3885
Founded: Dec 22, 2016
Authoritarian Democracy

Postby Fauxia » Wed May 16, 2018 12:28 pm

Chan Island wrote:Hold up- my entire cabinet consists of members of a secret society and only now are they inviting me to join!
There are many ways I could express this, but suffice to say I'd be clicking option 2 with my utopia account very hard indeed, and option 3 if I banned religion even harder. A choice which is too easy right now.

How about only have it be a handful of the cabinet, say 2 or 3 of the ministers are? That way we don't have the entire government being overtaken by this secret cult, yet the cult would be powerful enough with those people to actually get a lot of stereotypical secret organisation sneaky business done.

Also, I'm struggling to get the difference between options 1 and 4. So I join the secret society and... in one of them I pine for world domination and in the other I pine for a glass of Cheri.

Will respond to the rest later, however, option 1 is turning a blind eye only, 4 is about world domination. However, I have other evaluations of it and may tweak 4
Not the similarly named Feux.
I have issues.
My views do not represent any government I serve in the unlikely event someone is insane enough to vote for me.
Reploid Productions wrote:Unfortunately, Max still won't buy the mods elite ninja assassin squads to use, so... no such luck.

User avatar
Fauxia
Senator
 
Posts: 3885
Founded: Dec 22, 2016
Authoritarian Democracy

Postby Fauxia » Sat Jun 02, 2018 7:52 pm

Bump for new draft
Not the similarly named Feux.
I have issues.
My views do not represent any government I serve in the unlikely event someone is insane enough to vote for me.
Reploid Productions wrote:Unfortunately, Max still won't buy the mods elite ninja assassin squads to use, so... no such luck.

User avatar
Australian rePublic
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 13700
Founded: Mar 18, 2013
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Australian rePublic » Sat Jun 02, 2018 9:32 pm

What about the option where @@LEADER@@ is intiated as a Son of a Brick?

Also, awsome joke in option 1, but maybe change it to "I'm not a son of a b..."
From Sydney, NSW. From Greek ansestry. Orthodox Christian
11 Published Issues
Fantastic Song Quotes

User avatar
The Official United Nations
Attaché
 
Posts: 73
Founded: Apr 09, 2018
Psychotic Dictatorship

Postby The Official United Nations » Sun Jun 03, 2018 9:44 am

The humour in the first option was alright. Instead of saying that they aim to 'subvert,' you could just say 'control.' After all, they are seemingly influential in the government. They aren't anti-establishment.

Only the possible religious option involves describing what unusual things occur in the meetings. Mason customs and symbols are quite important to their conspiratorial reputation. Perhaps you should include more detailed summaries of what disturbing mannerisms seem to appear in the images or meetings.

The first effect is vaguely humorous, however this issue only concerns one such society. Others have suggested an effect where Leader is rumoured to be a member of a secret society. That might make more sense. It's not clear that all secret societies even get along, or have similar aims.

User avatar
Fauxia
Senator
 
Posts: 3885
Founded: Dec 22, 2016
Authoritarian Democracy

Postby Fauxia » Sun Jun 03, 2018 6:59 pm

Fallouts don't have to be super super related, as long as they're funny. As for the rest, I will get to it when I next update the draft.

Also, just realized I need to change the title. Any suggestions?
Not the similarly named Feux.
I have issues.
My views do not represent any government I serve in the unlikely event someone is insane enough to vote for me.
Reploid Productions wrote:Unfortunately, Max still won't buy the mods elite ninja assassin squads to use, so... no such luck.

User avatar
Chan Island
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1857
Founded: Nov 26, 2015
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Chan Island » Mon Jun 04, 2018 8:44 am

This draft is much better!

Option 4 seems a little bit redundant to be honest, you've already got other options banning and persecuting the cult. And if you want to make it a religious version of option 3, then why not go for @@Faith@@?
Conserative Morality wrote:"It's not time yet" is a tactic used by reactionaries in every era. "It's not time for democracy, it's not time for capitalism, it's not time for emancipation." Of course it's not time. It's never time, not on its own. You make it time. If you're under fire in the no-man's land of WW1, you start digging a foxhole even if the ideal time would be when you *aren't* being bombarded, because once you wait for it to be 'time', other situations will need your attention, assuming you survive that long. If the fields aren't furrowed, plow them. If the iron is not hot, make it so. If society is not ready, change it.

User avatar
Fauxia
Senator
 
Posts: 3885
Founded: Dec 22, 2016
Authoritarian Democracy

Postby Fauxia » Mon Jun 18, 2018 6:01 pm

"New draft", meaning I took out the last two options. I don't really like 2-option issues, though, anyone got an idea for a third option?
Not the similarly named Feux.
I have issues.
My views do not represent any government I serve in the unlikely event someone is insane enough to vote for me.
Reploid Productions wrote:Unfortunately, Max still won't buy the mods elite ninja assassin squads to use, so... no such luck.

User avatar
Jutsa
Minister
 
Posts: 3163
Founded: Dec 06, 2015
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Jutsa » Mon Jun 18, 2018 6:18 pm

I personally liked old option 3, but it really does function like 2.
That said, I think I have a more interesting option 3:

"What! They didn't invite you to the Sons of a Brick!" (blah blah blah) "You need to form a new organization for only cool people like you"

^ something like that. Thoughts? :lol:
Could be an opportunity to add an "Order of the Stick" reference
Last edited by Jutsa on Mon Jun 18, 2018 6:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.
My national anthem~
(also the original)

Currently working on conlang, may rework solar system and geography.

User avatar
Fauxia
Senator
 
Posts: 3885
Founded: Dec 22, 2016
Authoritarian Democracy

Postby Fauxia » Wed Jul 11, 2018 11:45 am

One week month bump for new draft, I added a third option again, but it’s different now.
Not the similarly named Feux.
I have issues.
My views do not represent any government I serve in the unlikely event someone is insane enough to vote for me.
Reploid Productions wrote:Unfortunately, Max still won't buy the mods elite ninja assassin squads to use, so... no such luck.

User avatar
Australian rePublic
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 13700
Founded: Mar 18, 2013
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Australian rePublic » Wed Jul 11, 2018 3:29 pm

Option 3- the only way to join is if you're invited. And now this brings up a different question, what if the leader is female?
From Sydney, NSW. From Greek ansestry. Orthodox Christian
11 Published Issues
Fantastic Song Quotes

User avatar
Fauxia
Senator
 
Posts: 3885
Founded: Dec 22, 2016
Authoritarian Democracy

Postby Fauxia » Wed Jul 11, 2018 4:41 pm

I think that, despite the name, the SOBs are inclusive.
Not the similarly named Feux.
I have issues.
My views do not represent any government I serve in the unlikely event someone is insane enough to vote for me.
Reploid Productions wrote:Unfortunately, Max still won't buy the mods elite ninja assassin squads to use, so... no such luck.

User avatar
Australian rePublic
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 13700
Founded: Mar 18, 2013
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Australian rePublic » Wed Jul 11, 2018 4:59 pm

Fauxia wrote:I think that, despite the name, the SOBs are inclusive.

Or they could have an all female branch like the masons do
From Sydney, NSW. From Greek ansestry. Orthodox Christian
11 Published Issues
Fantastic Song Quotes

User avatar
Fauxia
Senator
 
Posts: 3885
Founded: Dec 22, 2016
Authoritarian Democracy

Postby Fauxia » Thu Jul 12, 2018 4:41 am

Australian rePublic wrote:
Fauxia wrote:I think that, despite the name, the SOBs are inclusive.

Or they could have an all female branch like the masons do

Yeah, I like that idea. Only thing is, there’s no way to tell what gender the leader is, so unfortunately, no toggling. The option is best as is.
Not the similarly named Feux.
I have issues.
My views do not represent any government I serve in the unlikely event someone is insane enough to vote for me.
Reploid Productions wrote:Unfortunately, Max still won't buy the mods elite ninja assassin squads to use, so... no such luck.

User avatar
Australian rePublic
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 13700
Founded: Mar 18, 2013
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Australian rePublic » Thu Jul 12, 2018 5:33 am

Fauxia wrote:
Australian rePublic wrote:Or they could have an all female branch like the masons do

Yeah, I like that idea. Only thing is, there’s no way to tell what gender the leader is, so unfortunately, no toggling. The option is best as is.

There doesn't have to be. One of the members can list a bunch of different branches OR say something along the lines of "we even have branches for women" or something like that
From Sydney, NSW. From Greek ansestry. Orthodox Christian
11 Published Issues
Fantastic Song Quotes

User avatar
Australian rePublic
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 13700
Founded: Mar 18, 2013
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Australian rePublic » Thu Jul 12, 2018 5:39 am

Option 3- you can't just join willy-nilly, you have to be invited
From Sydney, NSW. From Greek ansestry. Orthodox Christian
11 Published Issues
Fantastic Song Quotes

User avatar
Australian rePublic
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 13700
Founded: Mar 18, 2013
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Australian rePublic » Thu Jul 12, 2018 5:42 am

Jutsa wrote:I personally liked old option 3, but it really does function like 2.
That said, I think I have a more interesting option 3:

"What! They didn't invite you to the Sons of a Brick!" (blah blah blah) "You need to form a new organization for only cool people like you"

^ something like that. Thoughts? :lol:
Could be an opportunity to add an "Order of the Stick" reference

Idon't see how a rival organisation would have any power or influence, thus making it moot
Last edited by Australian rePublic on Thu Jul 12, 2018 5:43 am, edited 1 time in total.
From Sydney, NSW. From Greek ansestry. Orthodox Christian
11 Published Issues
Fantastic Song Quotes

User avatar
A Humanist Stink
Lobbyist
 
Posts: 13
Founded: Jul 12, 2018
Ex-Nation

Postby A Humanist Stink » Thu Jul 12, 2018 12:21 pm

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:It feels too heavily referential to me.

Maybe drop the song, and change the name to something directly satirises Masons rather than Stonecutters. Pick a different synonym for Stonecutters, maybe.

Or you could leave it as it is, and probably NoQ will like it. He does love Simpsons references.


LEGO cult.

Trade secrets, highly protective of its image, requires members to spend vast sums of money on the organization. That's all the ticks boxed.
Last edited by A Humanist Stink on Thu Jul 12, 2018 12:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
Fauxia
Senator
 
Posts: 3885
Founded: Dec 22, 2016
Authoritarian Democracy

Postby Fauxia » Thu Jul 12, 2018 3:36 pm

A Humanist Stink wrote:
Candlewhisper Archive wrote:It feels too heavily referential to me.

Maybe drop the song, and change the name to something directly satirises Masons rather than Stonecutters. Pick a different synonym for Stonecutters, maybe.

Or you could leave it as it is, and probably NoQ will like it. He does love Simpsons references.


LEGO cult.

Trade secrets, highly protective of its image, requires members to spend vast sums of money on the organization. That's all the ticks boxed.

We’ve moved past this
Not the similarly named Feux.
I have issues.
My views do not represent any government I serve in the unlikely event someone is insane enough to vote for me.
Reploid Productions wrote:Unfortunately, Max still won't buy the mods elite ninja assassin squads to use, so... no such luck.

User avatar
Fauxia
Senator
 
Posts: 3885
Founded: Dec 22, 2016
Authoritarian Democracy

Postby Fauxia » Tue Aug 14, 2018 6:20 pm

Fixed the formatting here.

Is this ready to go, do y'all think?
Not the similarly named Feux.
I have issues.
My views do not represent any government I serve in the unlikely event someone is insane enough to vote for me.
Reploid Productions wrote:Unfortunately, Max still won't buy the mods elite ninja assassin squads to use, so... no such luck.

Next

Remove ads

Return to Got Issues?

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Nova Hessia

Remove ads