[DRAFT] Fair is Foul, But is Foul Fair?

[Digory Kirke]

Draft 3

[description] Concerned citizens have come to lobby for a ban on mediums after a woman in @@CAPITAL@@ spent her life savings on a psychic hotline to talk to her dead husband, and the operator informed her that the husband's only words were, "Gib money pl0x."

[validity] N/A

[option]"These so-called mediums claim they can talk to the dead," muses John Brandi, the founder of Skeptics United, @@CAPITAL@@ chapter, "But what they really do is take advantage of the weak minded and desperate. They robbed this poor woman with falsehoods, we must protect others from being swept in. We must cure this plague on our civilization by banning all mediums."
[fallout]Citizens must now order their steaks rare or as beef-flavored charcoal

[option]"These witches are also the first step on the wide and wicked path," says Rev. Josias Firebrand, patting his head with a moist towelette. "We must eliminate from among ourselves the yeast of sorcery!" he declares as he fashions your candelabra into a crude pitchfork.
[fallout]Bakers are burned at the stake for over-proving their bread

[option]"Freedom of speech is paramount, even if it means lying--err, unprovable facts are permitted. Allow us to practice our supernatural abilities in peace. Your fourteenth cousin once removed has told me she's very disappointed in you for even listening to these wicked men," declares Jezebel Jones, psychic.
[fallout]Unprovable facts are a common defense in courts of law

[option]A man wearing an obviously fake mustache bursts into your room, then throws a smoke bomb. "The Great Zalanthor appears as mysteriously as the circumstances which have brought him here. I have heard great tales of you, O @@LEADER@@, and I have come to offer you my services as the court medium. For a small fee, I will give valuable criminal evidence, interviews with great leaders of the past, and I can also do card tricks. I would tell you how it works, but the Alliance of Magicians ensures I never reveal my tricks," Zalanthor says, before running back out the door and setting off the smoke alarm in the hall.
[fallout]Something wicked this way comes

---

[description] Concerned citizens have come to lobby for a ban on mediums after a woman in @@CAPITAL@@ spent her life savings on a psychic hotline to talk to her dead husband, and the operator informed her that the husband's only words were "Send more money."

[validity] N/A

[option]"These so-called mediums claim they can talk to the dead," muses John Brandi, the founder of Skeptics United, @@CAPITAL@@ chapter, "But what they really do is take advantage of the weak minded and desperate. They robbed this poor woman with falsehoods, we must protect others from being swept in. We must ban this plague on our civilization."
[fallout]Small mediums are now at large

[option]"These witches are also the first step on the wide and wicked path," says Rev. Josias Firebrand, patting his head with a towelette as he prepares to fervently preach. "We must eliminate from among ourselves the yeast of sorcery!" he declares as he fashions your lampstand into a crude pitchfork.
[fallout]An unexpected @@DENONYM@@ inquisition has arisen

[option]"Freedom of speech is paramount, even if it means lying--err--unprovable facts are permitted. Allow us to practice our supernatural abilities in peace. Your mother has told me she's very disappointed in you for even listening to these wicked men," declares Jezebel Jones, psychic.
[fallout]Unprovable facts are a common defense in courts of law

[option]A man wearing an obviously fake mustache bursts into your room, then throws a smoke bomb. "The great Zalanthor appears as mysteriously as the circumstances which have brought him here. I have heard great tales of you, O @@LEADER@@, and I have come to offer you my services as the court medium. For a small fee, I will give valuable criminal evidence, interviews with great leaders of the past, and I can also do card tricks," Zalanthor says, before running back out the door and setting off the smoke alarm in the hall.
[fallout]Something wicked this way comes

[description]Religious proponents and skeptics alike have come together to lobby for a ban on mediums after a woman in @@CAPITAL@@ spent her life savings on a psychic hotline to talk to her dead husband.

[validity]Invalid for nations with low religiousness or high intelligence.

[option]"These so-called mediums claim they can talk to the dead,” muses John Brandi, the founder of Skeptics United, @@CAPITAL@@ chapter, “But what they really do is take advantage of the weak minded and desperate. They robbed this poor woman with falsehoods, we must protect others from being swept in. We must ban this plague on our civilization.”
[fallout]The usage of, "I'm sure he's in a better place," is banned at funerals.

[option]“These psychics are also the first step on the wide and wicked path,” says Rev. Josias Firebrand of the local Baptist church, “We must protect against the forces of the devil in this nation and start an inquisition to ensure they are no longer a threat.”
[fallout]An unexpected @@DENONYM@@ inquisition has arisen.

[option]“Freedom of speech is paramount, even if it means lying is permitted. Allow mediums to practice!” declares libertarian Fayn Bland, “Banning psychics would set a precedent that any lie is illegal. How many times have you lied today, @@LEADER@@? Or are you above your own laws?”
[fallout]Libel is protected under free speech legislation.

[option]“I see...two choices,” whispers Jezebel Jones, self-proclaimed witch. “You may listen to the naysayers, or you may endorse our services. Who knows, leader? The favor of the dead may rest on you.”
[fallout]By the pricking of @@LEADER@@'s thumbs, something wicked this way comes

[Fauxia]

Hey Vapid! Not too bad for someone who hasn’t drafted in a long time.

[description]Religious proponents and skeptics alike have come together to lobby for a ban on mediums after a woman in @@CAPITAL@@ spent her life savings on a psychic hotline to talk to her dead husband.

Dunno, it just sounds a bit boring to me in the writing, anything you can do to make it funny? Honestly, I’m not sure the first part of the sentence is necessary.

[validity]Invalid for nations with low religiousness or high intelligence.

Is this even necessary, to be honest?

[option]"These so-called mediums claim they can talk to the dead,” muses John Brandi, the founder of Skeptics United, @@CAPITAL@@ chapter, “But what they really do is take advantage of the weak minded and desperate. They robbed this poor woman with falsehoods, we must protect others from being swept in. We must ban this plague on our civilization.”
[fallout]The usage of, "I'm sure he's in a better place," is banned at funerals.

Fallouts aren’t written as sentences, and you don’t want to use those commas in them, either.

[option]“These psychics are also the first step on the wide and wicked path,” says Rev. Josias Firebrand of the local Baptist church, “We must protect against the forces of the devil in this nation and start an inquisition to ensure they are no longer a threat.”
[fallout]An unexpected @@DENONYM@@ inquisition has arisen.

Big no-no here. Whatever early issues do, we don’t use RL religious groups. It also just, again, seems boring. Not badly written, but a bit flat

[option]“Freedom of speech is paramount, even if it means lying is permitted. Allow mediums to practice!” declares libertarian Fayn Bland, “Banning psychics would set a precedent that any lie is illegal. How many times have you lied today, @@LEADER@@? Or are you above your own laws?”
[fallout]Libel is protected under free speech legislation.

Might be somewhat better if you used a medium as the speaker here, maybe try to ask @@LEADER@@ if they want to speak to anyone.

[option]“I see...two choices,” whispers Jezebel Jones, self-proclaimed witch. “You may listen to the naysayers, or you may endorse our services. Who knows, leader? The favor of the dead may rest on you.”
[fallout]By the pricking of @@LEADER@@'s thumbs, something wicked this way comes

This can probably just be option 3, but there’s a lot you can do with that, and it’s not there yet. Not that you can’t do it, I believe in you

Also, use "dumb quotes" not “smart quotes”

Hope that helps a bit. This is a good premise, and the writing shows some promise, but it needs to be funnier.

[Digory Kirke]

Draft has been updated to reflect suggestions by Fauxia. Tips on humor in Issues, anyone?

[Palos Heights]

Draft has been updated to reflect suggestions by Fauxia. Tips on humor in Issues, anyone?

Change the message to something completely insensitive, like "Gib moni pls".

For option 1, try re-wording it a bit to open up the possibility for more indirect problems caused by the ban. If you make the ban for "all mediums", your joke about clothing sizes would work, as would hypothetically something about how people order their steak. "Following recent legislature in @@NAME@@, @@DEMONYM@@ people enjoy their steaks well-done."

I think the clothing size is good though if you can rework it to be a bit more funny and make the ban over "all mediums".

Option 2, make that a moist towelette! I'd also make the lampstand into a candelabra because it might sound more out-there.
I feel like instead of a Spanish Inquisition joke you could probably do something with yeast. Maybe have something like the @@RELIGION@@ Inquisition targets bakers and pastry chefs exclusively since yeast is used in baking bread.

Option 3 is pretty funny, and has great promise, but I'm concerned that the mother being referenced might conflict with player autonomy since she might be referenced in other issues as still being alive. I'd change the mother being mentioned to your Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Grandmother 37-times removed. Some really distant relative who is super ancient and whose relation to you is dubious at best would help juxtapose the otherwise seriousness of the option.

Option 4 should be Great Zalanthor.

Personally, I think for Option 4 I would throw in a G.O.B. reference from Arrested Development. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQaFzBiU3p0 if you don't know what I'm talking about.

I think you've got a solid base here!

[Digory Kirke]

Reference and humor added

[Kurczak Mielony]

As I learned the hard way, effects must be lowercase. Also, no commas! I don't think they're allowed. Otherwise, it's an interesting premise, similar to the one where the little girl dies from pseudoscience. Nice work!
All in all, this is a Vapid draft

[Fauxia]

Remind me to get back to this, I see a few more things to do.

[Digory Kirke]

[Bump]

[Australian rePublic]

Option 3- wait is she claiming that she's legit or is she claiming that lying is okay?

[Digory Kirke]

Option 3- wait is she claiming that she's legit or is she claiming that lying is okay?

Claiming that leader can't prove she's lying, though not very convincingly

[Candlewhisper Archive]

I like it. Very interesting approach and nice humour throughout.

My main worry, however, is strong overlap with #416 Prophet Margins.

For sure, a fortune teller is not a medium, but essentially the same question is being asked. How should dodgy pseudo-psychics be dealt with?

That in mind, while I am enjoying your writing, I don't think this issue is going to make it into the game.

[Digory Kirke]

I like it. Very interesting approach and nice humour throughout.

My main worry, however, is strong overlap with #416 Prophet Margins.

For sure, a fortune teller is not a medium, but essentially the same question is being asked. How should dodgy pseudo-psychics be dealt with?

That in mind, while I am enjoying your writing, I don't think this issue is going to make it into the game.

It's a shame, too, because I searched the list of issues for ~20 keywords and read through twice.
Oh well. Thanks for the feedback, CWA

[Jutsa]

Feel free to ask if something's been covered in the writers' block if you're unsure about anything.