[Submitted] Tanks, but no tanks

by **Kurczak Mielony** » Fri Feb 23, 2018 1:51 pm

[Description] After an archaic law allowed a civilian to take ownership of a tank, he caused considerable property damage, including smashing into a brand new statue of you that was being unveiled. Civilians have demanded you take action regulating tanks and other military vehicles.
[Validity] Cars must not be banned

[Option] "We need to get these vehicles of war off our streets!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, who is coincidentally covered head to toe in anti-war pins. "We are promoting misery and hurt while these military vehicles cause mayhem. We cannot allow them to stay on our beloved roads! We should stop production of tanks now and get rid of existing ones before an incident like this happens again."
[Effect] The military nails thick sheets of cardboard to pick-ups to withstand artillery because of the ban on tanks
[Effect] the newest line of APCs have cardboard nailed to them
Are effects the newspaper headlines or the overview things?

[Option] "We need those tanks for our, uh, top-secret military operations!" bellows @@RANDOMNAME@@, a military training instructor who is practically deaf. "I agree that we need to keep this sophisticated tiger away from those city-slickers we defend, but don't keep them from people who know how to operate these things! They are an important part of military procedure and whatnot, so you cannot take them away, @@LEADER@@!"
[Effect] tanks are signing bonuses for the infantry

[Option] "Thou shalt be able to drive thine own chosen vehicle," recites Haynes Chilton-Clymer, holding up his holy manual. "As long as we have those rocket firin' mechanisms disabled and the road-ruining tracks replaced, why, I don't see a reason not to own a tank. Maybe we could even hold a contest in @@CAPITAL@@ each year to see who has the coolest paint job!"
[Effect] Neon tanks are a normal sight on the streets of @@NAME@@
[Effect] rainbow tanks can be seen driving on the streets

{Option] "I agree with @@HIM@@, but we need to take a step further," says your Minister of Public Safety, adjusting his toupee. "We need to have those tanks with the launchers and with the treads, to maximize the usefulness of the civilian tank drivers! When those damned Bigtopians attack, they sure will be surprised and easily defeated! In fact, we should encourage citizens to have military vehicles. It's the first step of many to conquering the world- I mean, ensuring @@NAME@@ is safe."
[Effect] Anti-aircraft shells are being bought for "hunting"
highways are commonly used as vehicle battle arenas

[Policy] Militia?
[Repeal Policy] No guns

[Option] A clean-shaven man enters, adjusting his cufflinks before he addresses you. "Mr... I didn't catch his name, but whoever he was, raises a good point. You need someone who can protect your innocent civilians while they do whatever innocent civilians do. And I can do that! At Metallurgy Incorporated, we strive to be the very best at protection and, occasionally, the offensive. With a small fee," he says, making air quotes, "and a recommendation here and there, we can begin Monday. Don't worry, we bring the tanks."
[Effect] strange men have begun enforcing their own laws as the new "military"
[Validity] Must not have a state-run economy.
Yes? No? Maybe so?

Well, that does it for this draft. I'll see you guys next week ~~month~~!

==========================================
FIRST DRAFT (Sorry Jutsa!)

[Description] After a convoy of civilians driving tanks caused a huge traffic headache in the streets of @@CAPITAL@@. Citizens have demanded that you take action.

[Validity] Must have military, cars must not be banned.

[Option] "We need to get these vehicles of mass death off our streets!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, who is covered head to toe in anti-war pins. "We are promoting misery and hurt while these lumbering machines stay on our beloved roads. We can start with banning civilian use of these monstrosities, then we can move on to the military. But for now, we should instate a Peace Brigade to calmly stop rulebreakers such as these!"
[Effect] Toy jeeps are seized from children by the Peace Brigade because they "promote war"

[Option] "Thou shalt be able to drive thine own chosen vehicle," recites @@RANDOMNAME@@, holding up a copy of "The Holy Book of @@NAME@@". "As long as we have those rocket firin' mechanisms disabled and the road-ruining tracks replaced, why, I don't see a reason NOT to own a vehicle. In fact, we should encourage citizens to create their own vehicles. We can even hold a contest in @@CAPITAL@@ for most ingenious designs!"
[Effect] Hot tubs with office chairs are the latest trend in automobile fashion

{Option] "I agree with @@HIM@@, but we need to take a step further," says your Minister of Public Safety, adjusting his toupee. "We need to have those tanks WITH the launchers and the treads. When those damned Bigtopians attack, they sure will be surprised and easily defeated! In fact, we should encourage citizens to have military vehicles. It's the first step of many to conquering the world- I mean, ensuring @@NAME@@ is safe."
[Effect] Tank battles are commonplace on major highways
[Policy] Militia?
[Repeal Policy] No guns

[Option] "Listen, I work long hours just to get by, and frankly, all this traffic is horrendous," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, sipping cheap coffee. "We should make tanks illegal on the roads, as well as any other vehicles that go under 40. In addition to that, we should start ticketing people who stay under a certain speed. That should really clear congestion up and make rush hour more manageable."
[Effect] Grandparents can no longer afford to spoil their grandkids because of the massive fines they pay all the time

Any thoughts?

SECOND DRAFT

[Description] After a civilian got their hands on a tank and accidentally caused hundreds of thousands @@CURRENCY@@ worth of damages to infrastructure, citizens have demanded you take action.

[Validity] Must have a military, cars must not be banned. (Is there a policy on civilians owning tanks?)

[Option] "We need to get these vehicles of mass death off our streets!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, who is covered head to toe in anti-war pins. "We are promoting misery and hurt while these lumbering machines stay on our beloved roads. We can start with banning civilian use of these monstrosities, then we can move on to the military. But for now, we should have the police calmly detain owners of these death machines."
[Effect] Toy jeeps are seized from children by the police because they "promote war"

[Option] "Thou shalt be able to drive thine own chosen vehicle," recites @@RANDOMNAME@@, holding up a copy of "The Holy Book of @@NAME@@". "As long as we have those rocket firin' mechanisms disabled and the road-ruining tracks replaced, why, I don't see a reason NOT to own a vehicle. In fact, we should encourage citizens to create their own vehicles. We can even hold a contest in @@CAPITAL@@ for most ingenious designs!"
[Effect] Hot tubs with office chairs are the latest trend in automobile fashion

{Option] "I agree with @@HIM@@, but we need to take a step further," says your Minister of Public Safety, adjusting his toupee. "We need to have those tanks WITH the launchers and the treads. When those damned Bigtopians attack, they sure will be surprised and easily defeated! In fact, we should encourage citizens to have military vehicles. It's the first step of many to conquering the world- I mean, ensuring @@NAME@@ is safe."
[Effect] Tank battles are commonplace on major highways
[Policy] Militia?
[Repeal Policy] No guns

[Option] "Listen, I work long hours just to get by, and frankly, all this traffic is horrendous," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, sipping cheap coffee. "Make tanks illegal, as well as any other slow cars like cranes. All they do is slow everyone down. In fact, we should force them to speed up! Enact a speed minimum for roads and all hours will be rush hour!"
[Effect] Grandparents can no longer afford to spoil their grandkids because of the massive fines they pay all the time.

THIRD DRAFT

[Description] After a tank crew left a tank unlocked outside a bar and a civilian got into it, causing hundreds of thousands of @@CURRENCY@@ worth of damage, citizens have been demanding you take action regulating tanks.
[Validity] Must have a military, cars must not be banned. (Is there a policy on civilians owning tanks?)

[Option] "We need to get these vehicles of mass death off our streets!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, who is covered head to toe in anti-war pins. "We are promoting misery and hurt while these lumbering machines stay on our beloved roads. We should stop production of tanks now and get rid of existing ones before an incident like this happens again."
[Effect] The military nails thick sheets of cardboard to pick-ups to withstand artillery because of the ban on tanks

[Option] "We need those tanks for our, uh, top-secret military operations!" bellows @@RANDOMNAME@@, a military training instructor who is practically deaf. "I agree that we need to keep this sophisticated tiger away from those city-slickers we defend, but don't keep them from people who know how to operate these things! They are an important part of military procedure and whatnot, so you cannot take them away, @@LEADER@@!"
[Effect]

[Option] "Thou shalt be able to drive thine own chosen vehicle," recites @@RANDOMNAME@@, holding up a copy of "The Holy Book of @@NAME@@". "As long as we have those rocket firin' mechanisms disabled and the road-ruining tracks replaced, why, I don't see a reason not to own a tank. Maybe we could even hold a contest in @@CAPITAL@@ each year to see who has the coolest paint job!"
[Effect] Neon tanks are a normal sight on the streets of @@NAME@@

{Option] "I agree with @@HIM@@, but we need to take a step further," says your Minister of Public Safety, adjusting his toupee. "We need to have those tanks with the launchers and with the treads, to maximize the usefulness of the civilian tank drivers! When those damned Bigtopians attack, they sure will be surprised and easily defeated! In fact, we should encourage citizens to have military vehicles. It's the first step of many to conquering the world- I mean, ensuring @@NAME@@ is safe."
[Effect] Tank battles are commonplace on major highways
[Policy] Militia?
[Repeal Policy] No guns

[Option] "Listen, I work long hours just to get by, and frankly, all this traffic is horrendous," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, sipping cheap coffee. "Make tanks illegal, as well as any other slow cars like cranes. All they do is slow everyone down. In fact, we should force them to speed up! Enact a speed minimum for roads and all hours will be rush hour!"
[Effect] Soccer moms have traded in their minivans for the newest APC, which has a legendary safety rating.

FOURTH DRAFT

[Description] After a drunk tank operator accidentally lost a bet and gave tank ownership to a civilian, there was hundreds of thousands @CURRENCY@@ worth of damage done to infrastructure in @@CAPITAL@@, including a statue of you. Citizens have demanded that you take action regulating tanks.
[Validity] Must have a military, cars must not be banned. (Is there a policy on civilians owning tanks?)

[Option] "We need to get these vehicles of mass death off our streets!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, who is covered head to toe in anti-war pins. "We are promoting misery and hurt while these lumbering machines stay on our beloved roads. We should stop production of tanks now and get rid of existing ones before an incident like this happens again."
[Effect] The military nails thick sheets of cardboard to pick-ups to withstand artillery because of the ban on tanks

[Option] "We need those tanks for our, uh, top-secret military operations!" bellows @@RANDOMNAME@@, a military training instructor who is practically deaf. "I agree that we need to keep this sophisticated tiger away from those city-slickers we defend, but don't keep them from people who know how to operate these things! They are an important part of military procedure and whatnot, so you cannot take them away, @@LEADER@@!"
[Effect]

[Option] "Thou shalt be able to drive thine own chosen vehicle," recites @@RANDOMNAME@@, holding up a copy of "The Holy Book of @@NAME@@". "As long as we have those rocket firin' mechanisms disabled and the road-ruining tracks replaced, why, I don't see a reason not to own a tank. Maybe we could even hold a contest in @@CAPITAL@@ each year to see who has the coolest paint job!"
[Effect] Neon tanks are a normal sight on the streets of @@NAME@@

{Option] "I agree with @@HIM@@, but we need to take a step further," says your Minister of Public Safety, adjusting his toupee. "We need to have those tanks with the launchers and with the treads, to maximize the usefulness of the civilian tank drivers! When those damned Bigtopians attack, they sure will be surprised and easily defeated! In fact, we should encourage citizens to have military vehicles. It's the first step of many to conquering the world- I mean, ensuring @@NAME@@ is safe."
[Effect] Tank battles are commonplace on major highways
[Policy] Militia?
[Repeal Policy] No guns

[Option] "Listen, I work long hours just to get by, and frankly, all this traffic is horrendous," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, sipping cheap coffee. "Make tanks illegal, as well as any other slow cars like cranes. All they do is slow everyone down. In fact, we should force them to speed up! Enact a speed minimum for roads and all hours will be rush hour!"
[Effect] Soccer moms have traded in their minivans for the newest APC, which has a legendary safety rating.

by **Fauxia** » Fri Feb 23, 2018 2:24 pm

Is it fair to say that citizens drive tanks?

by **Kurczak Mielony** » Fri Feb 23, 2018 2:41 pm

Fauxia wrote:Is it fair to say that citizens drive tanks?

Apparently so.

by **Divitalia** » Fri Feb 23, 2018 2:51 pm

I like the idea. One thing I’d suggest you add is a validity: not being demilitarized, and not having cars banned

by **Sebalovania** » Fri Feb 23, 2018 5:36 pm

Divitalia wrote:I like the idea. One thing I’d suggest you add is a validity: not being demilitarized, and not having cars banned

There's actually an issue option that allows you to legalize cars being tanks.

by **Kurczak Mielony** » Fri Feb 23, 2018 8:16 pm

Sebalovania wrote:
Divitalia wrote:I like the idea. One thing I’d suggest you add is a validity: not being demilitarized, and not having cars banned

There's actually an issue option that allows you to legalize cars being tanks.

Those are some good things to have as validities.
As for the other issue with cars and tanks, I hope the almighty issue editors let me have this one.

by **Australian rePublic** » Fri Feb 23, 2018 9:47 pm

Where did civilians get tanks?

by **Trotterdam** » Fri Feb 23, 2018 10:06 pm

#186 2 leads to citizens driving "tank-like vehicles", which aren't technically tanks, I guess.

Also, #202 4 lets you privatize the military. While the option talks about selling it to corporations, it isn't unreasonable in this scenario for one or two tanks to end up in ordinary citizens' hands.

#202 2, meanwhile, does explicitly lead to people "driving to work in war-surplus tanks", but that's as a wacky result from downsizing your military, and the choice doesn't even say anything about relaxing civilian weapon laws.

#169 3 lets people hunt @ANIMALPLURAL@@ using main battle tanks (and cruise missiles), which presumably means they managed to get hold of some...

There are other issues that let civilians own extremely nasty weapons that most nations would consider military-only, like #211 2, but they don't specifically mention tanks (and, as such, there's no convenient search term for finding all of them).

Regardless, this draft does not at all do justice to the chaos that would ensue from average citizens being armed with lethal weapons.

by **Chan Island** » Sat Feb 24, 2018 10:36 am

I think there is a lot of potential here, but this current draft doesn't hit it. Let's systematically pick this apart to show how you could improve.

Description: This is probably the most disappointing part of all. A mere traffic headache wasn't the first thing that sprang to mind when I considered the consequences of having tanks on the road. To be frank, the first thing that came to mind would be some kind of a high profile accident where a Fiat 500 and an M1 Abrams collided with each other. Also all of those numerous news stories (a surprising number of which come from Germany) where drunken crew go around smashing things up (which is a big part of the joke in an implemented issue I wrote about the police getting them) like street signs.

Validity: I'm sure there must be some kind of a way to track civilian ownership of heavy vehicles of war somewhere.

Options: 1 is OK I guess, though might be overdoing it with that whole Peace Brigade stuff.
2 is good. I like that one.... except I'm not familiar with many religious zealots who particularly like contests. Perhaps I'm just acquainted with particularly anti-fun brigade types. So sure I guess?
3 I love this one.
4 Good start, but you are aware some military vehicles are pretty darn fast? This option would just end up with a nation full of APCs and scout cars instead of tanks. Though that in itself could be a funny angle to take this down....

..............................................

by **Kurczak Mielony** » Sat Feb 24, 2018 6:53 pm

[Description] After a civilian got their hands on a tank and accidentally caused hundreds of thousands @@CURRENCY@@ worth of damages to infrastructure, citizens have demanded you take action.

[Validity] Must have a military, cars must not be banned. (Is there a policy on civilians owning tanks?)

[Option] "We need to get these vehicles of mass death off our streets!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, who is covered head to toe in anti-war pins. "We are promoting misery and hurt while these lumbering machines stay on our beloved roads. We can start with banning civilian use of these monstrosities, then we can move on to the military. But for now, we should have the police calmly detain owners of these death machines."
[Effect] Toy jeeps are seized from children by the police because they "promote war"

[Option] "Thou shalt be able to drive thine own chosen vehicle," recites @@RANDOMNAME@@, holding up a copy of "The Holy Book of @@NAME@@". "As long as we have those rocket firin' mechanisms disabled and the road-ruining tracks replaced, why, I don't see a reason NOT to own a vehicle. In fact, we should encourage citizens to create their own vehicles. We can even hold a contest in @@CAPITAL@@ for most ingenious designs!"
[Effect] Hot tubs with office chairs are the latest trend in automobile fashion

{Option] "I agree with @@HIM@@, but we need to take a step further," says your Minister of Public Safety, adjusting his toupee. "We need to have those tanks WITH the launchers and the treads. When those damned Bigtopians attack, they sure will be surprised and easily defeated! In fact, we should encourage citizens to have military vehicles. It's the first step of many to conquering the world- I mean, ensuring @@NAME@@ is safe."
[Effect] Tank battles are commonplace on major highways
[Policy] Militia?
[Repeal Policy] No guns

[Option] "Listen, I work long hours just to get by, and frankly, all this traffic is horrendous," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, sipping cheap coffee. "Make tanks illegal, as well as any other slow cars like cranes. All they do is slow everyone down. In fact, we should force them to speed up! Enact a speed minimum for roads and all hours will be rush hour!"
[Effect] Grandparents can no longer afford to spoil their grandkids because of the massive fines they pay all the time

Chan Island wrote:2 is good. I like that one.... except I'm not familiar with many religious zealots who particularly like contests. Perhaps I'm just acquainted with particularly anti-fun brigade types.

You've been hanging around the wrong type of religious people!

by **Helaw** » Wed Feb 28, 2018 3:28 pm

After a civilian got their hands on a tank and accidentally caused hundreds of thousands @@CURRENCY@@ worth of damages to infrastructure, citizens have demanded you take action.

Take action how? Understandably you'll want to keep that for the options, but it would be worthwhile describing what actually allowed the civilian to acquire that tank, and then go on to either let the reader think about how that would be prevented or describe that prevention in the options. Did they buy it from some eccentric old man in the country? Steal it from a military base? Build it out of cardboard and several copies of the Argos catalogue?

Vaguely similar concept to #755 in that regard, but they go about it in different ways and focus on different things.

"We need to get these vehicles of mass death off our streets!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, who is covered head to toe in anti-war pins. "We are promoting misery and hurt while these lumbering machines stay on our beloved roads. We can start with banning civilian use of these monstrosities, then we can move on to the military. But for now, we should have the police calmly detain owners of these death machines."
[Effect] Toy jeeps are seized from children by the police because they "promote war"

I think it would be better to have one option suggest banning civilian ownership of tanks, while another advocates for an absolute ban. The option advocating for a full ban of all slow vehicles can remain with this change, however.

[Option] "Thou shalt be able to drive thine own chosen vehicle," recites @@RANDOMNAME@@, holding up a copy of "The Holy Book of @@NAME@@". "As long as we have those rocket firin' mechanisms disabled and the road-ruining tracks replaced, why, I don't see a reason NOT to own a vehicle. In fact, we should encourage citizens to create their own vehicles. We can even hold a contest in @@CAPITAL@@ for most ingenious designs!"
[Effect] Hot tubs with office chairs are the latest trend in automobile fashion

See, this hinges upon the premise being someone building their own tank, else it isn't quite relevant. Maybe it could be altered to focus on modifying existing vehicles to turn them into war machines?

While it is more of an opinion of my own than any preference of the team as a whole, italics trump capitals for emphasis.

"We need to have those tanks WITH the launchers and the treads.

This part seems a bit confusing. Might be worth revising it to convey what it is trying to say in a different manner.

[Effect] Grandparents can no longer afford to spoil their grandkids because of the massive fines they pay all the time

I'll admit, this doesn't seem quite related. A new effect line would be good, or a revision of the option.

Overall, well-executed idea.

by **Kurczak Mielony** » Wed Feb 28, 2018 5:06 pm

[Description] After a tank crew left a tank unlocked outside a bar and a civilian got into it, causing hundreds of thousands of @@CURRENCY@@ worth of damage, citizens have been demanding you take action regulating tanks.
[Validity] Must have a military, cars must not be banned. (Is there a policy on civilians owning tanks?)

[Option] "We need to get these vehicles of mass death off our streets!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, who is covered head to toe in anti-war pins. "We are promoting misery and hurt while these lumbering machines stay on our beloved roads. We should stop production of tanks now and get rid of existing ones before an incident like this happens again."
[Effect] The military nails thick sheets of cardboard to pick-ups to withstand artillery because of the ban on tanks

[Option] "We need those tanks for our, uh, top-secret military operations!" bellows @@RANDOMNAME@@, a military training instructor who is practically deaf. "I agree that we need to keep this sophisticated tiger away from those city-slickers we defend, but don't keep them from people who know how to operate these things! They are an important part of military procedure and whatnot, so you cannot take them away, @@LEADER@@!"
[Effect]

[Option] "Thou shalt be able to drive thine own chosen vehicle," recites @@RANDOMNAME@@, holding up a copy of "The Holy Book of @@NAME@@". "As long as we have those rocket firin' mechanisms disabled and the road-ruining tracks replaced, why, I don't see a reason not to own a tank. Maybe we could even hold a contest in @@CAPITAL@@ each year to see who has the coolest paint job!"
[Effect] Neon tanks are a normal sight on the streets of @@NAME@@

{Option] "I agree with @@HIM@@, but we need to take a step further," says your Minister of Public Safety, adjusting his toupee. "We need to have those tanks with the launchers and with the treads, to maximize the usefulness of the civilian tank drivers! When those damned Bigtopians attack, they sure will be surprised and easily defeated! In fact, we should encourage citizens to have military vehicles. It's the first step of many to conquering the world- I mean, ensuring @@NAME@@ is safe."
[Effect] Tank battles are commonplace on major highways
[Policy] Militia?
[Repeal Policy] No guns

[Option] "Listen, I work long hours just to get by, and frankly, all this traffic is horrendous," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, sipping cheap coffee. "Make tanks illegal, as well as any other slow cars like cranes. All they do is slow everyone down. In fact, we should force them to speed up! Enact a speed minimum for roads and all hours will be rush hour!"
[Effect] Soccer moms have traded in their minivans for the newest APC, which has a legendary safety rating

Need an effect for #2!

by **Trotterdam** » Wed Feb 28, 2018 11:06 pm

Kurczak Mielony wrote:[Description] After a tank crew left a tank unlocked outside a bar and a civilian got into it, causing hundreds of thousands of @@CURRENCY@@ worth of damage, citizens have been demanding you take action regulating tanks.
[Validity] Must have a military, cars must not be banned. (Is there a policy on civilians owning tanks?)

This is no longer about civilians owning tanks. It is about a civilian stealing a tank that the military left unguarded.

Options for this whould be about improving military security procedures (like teaching soldiers not to drive tanks casually, or if they do, to lock them properly when they leave).

by **Kurczak Mielony** » Thu Mar 01, 2018 2:28 pm

Trotterdam wrote:
Kurczak Mielony wrote:[Description] After a tank crew left a tank unlocked outside a bar and a civilian got into it, causing hundreds of thousands of @@CURRENCY@@ worth of damage, citizens have been demanding you take action regulating tanks.
[Validity] Must have a military, cars must not be banned. (Is there a policy on civilians owning tanks?)
This is no longer about civilians owning tanks. It is about a civilian stealing a tank that the military left unguarded.

Options for this whould be about improving military security procedures (like teaching soldiers not to drive tanks casually, or if they do, to lock them properly when they leave).

You're right about the issue accidentally changing direction. However, I am not looking to change the entire issue, so here goes another rewrite of the description!

by **Kurczak Mielony** » Thu Mar 01, 2018 7:04 pm

[Description] After a drunk tank operator accidentally lost a bet and gave tank ownership to a civilian, there was hundreds of thousands @CURRENCY@@ worth of damage done to infrastructure in @@CAPITAL@@, including a statue of you. Citizens have demanded that you take action regulating tanks.
[Validity] Must have a military, cars must not be banned. (Is there a policy on civilians owning tanks?)

[Option] "We need to get these vehicles of mass death off our streets!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, who is covered head to toe in anti-war pins. "We are promoting misery and hurt while these lumbering machines stay on our beloved roads. We should stop production of tanks now and get rid of existing ones before an incident like this happens again."
[Effect] The military nails thick sheets of cardboard to pick-ups to withstand artillery because of the ban on tanks

[Option] "We need those tanks for our, uh, top-secret military operations!" bellows @@RANDOMNAME@@, a military training instructor who is practically deaf. "I agree that we need to keep this sophisticated tiger away from those city-slickers we defend, but don't keep them from people who know how to operate these things! They are an important part of military procedure and whatnot, so you cannot take them away, @@LEADER@@!"
[Effect]

[Option] "Thou shalt be able to drive thine own chosen vehicle," recites @@RANDOMNAME@@, holding up a copy of "The Holy Book of @@NAME@@". "As long as we have those rocket firin' mechanisms disabled and the road-ruining tracks replaced, why, I don't see a reason not to own a tank. Maybe we could even hold a contest in @@CAPITAL@@ each year to see who has the coolest paint job!"
[Effect] Neon tanks are a normal sight on the streets of @@NAME@@

{Option] "I agree with @@HIM@@, but we need to take a step further," says your Minister of Public Safety, adjusting his toupee. "We need to have those tanks with the launchers and with the treads, to maximize the usefulness of the civilian tank drivers! When those damned Bigtopians attack, they sure will be surprised and easily defeated! In fact, we should encourage citizens to have military vehicles. It's the first step of many to conquering the world- I mean, ensuring @@NAME@@ is safe."
[Effect] Tank battles are commonplace on major highways
[Policy] Militia?
[Repeal Policy] No guns

[Option] "Listen, I work long hours just to get by, and frankly, all this traffic is horrendous," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, sipping cheap coffee. "Make tanks illegal, as well as any other slow cars like cranes. All they do is slow everyone down. In fact, we should force them to speed up! Enact a speed minimum for roads and all hours will be rush hour!"
[Effect] Soccer moms have traded in their minivans for the newest APC, which has a legendary safety rating

Need an effect for #2!

by **Candlewhisper Archive** » Fri Mar 02, 2018 5:32 am

Kurczak Mielony wrote:[Description] After a drunk tank operator accidentally lost a bet and gave tank ownership to a civilian, there was hundreds of thousands @CURRENCY@@ worth of damage done to infrastructure in @@CAPITAL@@, including a statue of you. Citizens have demanded that you take action regulating tanks.

A military tank operator doesn't own the tank he operates, so can't give ownership to a civilian. I'd also say that the presentation of the issue is a little off-target, as the scenario presented is clearly one of criminal action by two individuals: the tank driver who gives is drunk in charge of his vehicle and gives control of it to a civilian, and the civilian who engages in property damage. That's a pretty clearcut scenario, and any reasonable nation would say that the action taken should be "prosecute them both".

The options you present don't really react to the scenario as presented in any believable way. They seem to weirdly presume that the situation described is currently legal, and that you need to legislate to make it illegal. That's not the right narrative approach, in my opinion.

by **Kurczak Mielony** » Fri Mar 02, 2018 10:47 am

[Description] After an archaic law allowed a civilian to take ownership of a tank, he then caused hundreds of thousands of @@CURRENCY@@ worth of damage to government infrastructure. Civilians have demanded you take action regulating tanks and other military vehicles.
[Validity] Must have a military, cars must not be banned. (Is there a policy on civilians owning tanks?)

[Option] "We need to get these vehicles of mass death off our streets!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, who is covered head to toe in anti-war pins. "We are promoting misery and hurt while these lumbering machines stay on our beloved roads. We should stop production of tanks now and get rid of existing ones before an incident like this happens again."
[Effect] The military nails thick sheets of cardboard to pick-ups to withstand artillery because of the ban on tanks

[Option] "We need those tanks for our, uh, top-secret military operations!" bellows @@RANDOMNAME@@, a military training instructor who is practically deaf. "I agree that we need to keep this sophisticated tiger away from those city-slickers we defend, but don't keep them from people who know how to operate these things! They are an important part of military procedure and whatnot, so you cannot take them away, @@LEADER@@!"
[Effect] "Tanks a lot!" say war relic collectors after the sudden influx in tank production

[Option] "Thou shalt be able to drive thine own chosen vehicle," recites @@RANDOMNAME@@, holding up a copy of "The Holy Book of @@NAME@@". "As long as we have those rocket firin' mechanisms disabled and the road-ruining tracks replaced, why, I don't see a reason not to own a tank. Maybe we could even hold a contest in @@CAPITAL@@ each year to see who has the coolest paint job!"
[Effect] Neon tanks are a normal sight on the streets of @@NAME@@

{Option] "I agree with @@HIM@@, but we need to take a step further," says your Minister of Public Safety, adjusting his toupee. "We need to have those tanks with the launchers and with the treads, to maximize the usefulness of the civilian tank drivers! When those damned Bigtopians attack, they sure will be surprised and easily defeated! In fact, we should encourage citizens to have military vehicles. It's the first step of many to conquering the world- I mean, ensuring @@NAME@@ is safe."
[Effect] Tank battles are commonplace on major highways
[Policy] Militia?
[Repeal Policy] No guns

[Option] "Listen, I work long hours just to get by, and frankly, all this traffic is horrendous," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, sipping cheap coffee. "Make tanks illegal, as well as any other slow cars like cranes. All they do is slow everyone down. In fact, we should force them to speed up! Enact a speed minimum for roads and all hours will be rush hour!"
[Effect] Soccer moms have traded in their minivans for the newest APC, which has a legendary safety rating

Also, please write me a description that will please everyone : (

by **Candlewhisper Archive** » Fri Mar 02, 2018 3:32 pm

Kurczak Mielony wrote:[Description] After an archaic law allowed a civilian to take ownership of a tank, he then caused hundreds of thousands of @@CURRENCY@@ worth of damage to government infrastructure. Civilians have demanded you take action regulating tanks and other military vehicles.

Ok, yeah, that works better. Archaic law is a clever get around for a weird narrative. Not sure why it's become government infrastructure. I liked when it smashed into a statue of @@LEADER@@, it was funnier. Maybe instead of worrying about monetary cost, just say that the out of control tank caused "considerable property damage, including smashing into a brand new statue of you that was being unveiled."

[Validity] Must have a military, cars must not be banned. (Is there a policy on civilians owning tanks?)

Cars not banned should be plenty.

[Option] "We need to get these vehicles of mass death off our streets!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, who is covered head to toe in anti-war pins.

Weird turn of phrase that, "vehicles of mass death". Maybe something more natural sounding, like "these war machines" or "military vehicles"?

"We are promoting misery and hurt while these lumbering machines stay on our beloved roads. We should stop production of tanks now and get rid of existing ones before an incident like this happens again."

Again, really weird speech patterns. Could this all be made to sound more natural?

[Effect] The military nails thick sheets of cardboard to pick-ups to withstand artillery because of the ban on tanks

Not at all bad, humour-wise. Just a little unwieldy.

Don't capitalise, and try to make it short enough to work in front-page paragraphs on nations. For example, my nation front page currently includes the sentence:

You'll note that is four effect lines spliced into one sentence. Your effect line should be able to replace one of those and still have the sentence read well.

For example:

[effect]the next generation of military APCs is made out of two-ply cardboard

[Option] "We need those tanks for our, uh, top-secret military operations!" bellows @@RANDOMNAME@@, a military training instructor who is practically deaf. "I agree that we need to keep this sophisticated tiger away from those city-slickers we defend, but don't keep them from people who know how to operate these things! They are an important part of military procedure and whatnot, so you cannot take them away, @@LEADER@@!"
[Effect] "Tanks a lot!" say war relic collectors after the sudden influx in tank production

Not bad at all. Apply same principles again, making the effect line as short as possible without losing humour.

[Option] "Thou shalt be able to drive thine own chosen vehicle," recites @@RANDOMNAME@@, holding up a copy of "The Holy Book of @@NAME@@".

As options are mostly speech, I recommend enclosing only speech with double quote marks. The Holy Book of @@NAME@@ could be in single quotes or no quotes. Honestly though, its not as funny as it could be. Maybe instead could be:

recites Haynes Chilton-Clymer, holding up his holy manual.

that name referencing three famous automotive manual writers.

"As long as we have those rocket firin' mechanisms disabled and the road-ruining tracks replaced, why, I don't see a reason not to own a tank. Maybe we could even hold a contest in @@CAPITAL@@ each year to see who has the coolest paint job!"
[Effect] Neon tanks are a normal sight on the streets of @@NAME@@

I'm not sure actually we need two options that say "yes to civilian tanks, but with some restrictions," which is essentially what this option and the last one were. I'd suggest leave this option as it is, but make the previous option absolutely opposed to any civilian ownership of military vehicles.

[Option] "I agree with @@HIM@@, but we need to take a step further," says your Minister of Public Safety, adjusting his toupee. "We need to have those tanks with the launchers and with the treads, to maximize the usefulness of the civilian tank drivers! When those damned Bigtopians attack, they sure will be surprised and easily defeated! In fact, we should encourage citizens to have military vehicles. It's the first step of many to conquering the world- I mean, ensuring @@NAME@@ is safe."
[Effect] Tank battles are commonplace on major highways
[Policy] Militia?
[Repeal Policy] No guns

Don't sweat policies, we'll handle those. This is good, though I'd be inclined to have some sort of satire of the gun lobby in the effect line. Something like tank owner saying that they need HESH shells for deer hunting.

[Option] "Listen, I work long hours just to get by, and frankly, all this traffic is horrendous," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, sipping cheap coffee. "Make tanks illegal, as well as any other slow cars like cranes. All they do is slow everyone down. In fact, we should force them to speed up! Enact a speed minimum for roads and all hours will be rush hour!"
[Effect] Soccer moms have traded in their minivans for the newest APC, which has a legendary safety rating

And yeah, cut this option, and let the military guy be the banning option. Its your weakest option here anyway.

You've made good progress here. A few more iterations, and you'll be publish-ready.

by **Kurczak Mielony** » Sat Mar 17, 2018 9:30 am

This draft is now located at the top.

by **Trotterdam** » Sat Mar 17, 2018 11:41 am

If you want to continue this, note that you can now make it as a followup/reversal issue to #933.

by **Kurczak Mielony** » Sat Mar 17, 2018 2:56 pm

Trotterdam wrote:If you want to continue this, note that you can now make it as a followup/reversal issue to #933.

I don't know. I mean, my narrative calls for an archaic law, which everyone ~~CWA~~ thought was good, plus, this was in the making before that. It's certainly a possibility though.

by **Jutsa** » Sat Mar 17, 2018 4:37 pm

Oh, I say go for it. An archaic law works if nothing else is in play, but now we've got a legitimate way of this occurring. :rofl:

by **Trotterdam** » Sun Mar 18, 2018 3:36 pm

#877 3 also gives civilians tanks. I managed to completely miss that earlier.

by **Jutsa** » Sun Mar 18, 2018 7:19 pm

*reviews first draft*
Ok, time for a second go at this. >_<

Hello, Kurczak! Everything I say here is just my personal opinion, so you can take/disregard what you want,
although I do recommend my changes unless you have a valid reason to disregard them.

Also, please fix your spoilers so they contain the old drafts, and the unspoiled draft is the latest one.

The Issue/Validity:
After an archaic law allowed a civilian to take ownership of a tank, he caused considerable property damage, including smashing into a brand new statue of you that was being unveiled.
"archaic law" no more, what with all of the issues that let you drive tanks now.
[Validity] Cars must not be banned
Should now be "Tanks are legal". :⟩

Option 1:
We cannot allow them to stay on our beloved roads!
They won't be if they're rolling over the block parliament is on.
[Effect] the newest line of APCs have cardboard nailed to them,
comma must be ᴅᴇꜱᴛʀᴏʏᴇᴅ!
Also I prefer the second one.

The fact that the first option offers to take tanks from the military as well seems kinda peculiar... perhaps you could change this to the police?
There's an issue about the police having tanks, but, you know, to go from commercial tanks to no tanks period is rather extreme.

In fact, tbh, I think it's alright to merge 1 and 2 just to help shorten the issue length, but that'll be your call.

Option 2: Not much to add here, except this:
war relic collectors are tankful for the increase in tank production,
Doesn't really say in here anything about boosting tank production.

No qualms with option three. :lol:

Option 4:
When those damned Bigtopians attack,
Might work better if you use "Blackacrians" or "Marche Noirians".
In fact, we should encourage citizens to have military vehicles.
Maybe convert some military funding to tank subsidies?
It's the first step of many to conquering the world- I mean, ensuring @@NAME@@ is safe."

Option 5:
Soccer moms have traded in their minivans for the newest APC, which has a legendary safety rating
No commas in the effect lines; also, decapitalize the s in "Soccer".

I actually wrote an issue draft that makes a lower speed limit, but it's in my dismiss pile because even that option seems a bit tricky if you have to go slow. .-.
I also kinda feel like this option detracts from the issue just a bit. I think it's another "not necessary" one, but I'll leave its existence up to you.

So, to summarize:
1) I still say update it to the "must have tanks" policy.
2) A couple of little adjustments is all
3) Consider merging 1/2 and/or ditching 5. I'm not saying you should, I'm just saying it's something to think about.

Speaking of which, it would also be kinda funny if you threw in an option that said the military should be discarded and replaced with private militia.
That would be hilariously dangerous. :rofl:

Good luck, Kurc! :3

by **Kurczak Mielony** » Fri Mar 23, 2018 4:31 pm

Answering all these in order of quoted.

Thanks Jutsa!

[Submitted] Tanks, but no tanks

[Submitted] Tanks, but no tanks

Who is online