[DRAFT] Tourists expect a happy ending

[Paradiosa]

Decription: @@NAME@@'s beautiful women and handsome men are one of the main reasons why tourists are attracted to @@NAME@@. While this situation helps your Tourism Industry thrive, some religious groups are uncomfortable with foreigners coming just to spend time with @@NAME@@'s young and attractive people.

Option 1: "This is completely unacceptable. Our youth can not be presented as a tourism attraction." says @@FAITH@@ spokesman @@RANDOMNAME@@, wearing a "Their Body, Our Choice" t-shirt. @@FAITH@@ says "You may enjoy life" not "You may enjoy other people." Some might say this is their lifestyle and we have no right to interfere but that is not true. Their lifestyle is affecting our children's moral development. I say ask tourists their purpose of visit and if they can't provide a valid answer like "I want to learn more about @@FAITH@@" don't let them in.

Effect: Tourism Industry is limited to religious tourism.


Option 2: "There is nothing wrong with tourists wanting to spend time with our youth. This is cultural exchange." says @@NAME@@'s richest hotelier John 'Rad' Hilltown. We, as Hilltown Hotels provide both tourists and our attractive young people a nice environment to... err... get to know each other. Tourists are happy, young pros... prospects of @@NAME@@ are happy and we are happy. What you should do is support this ...err ... cultural exchange and even subsidize it.

Effect: Tourists are flocking to @@NAME@@ because of its non-environmental beauties.


Option 3: Your Minister of Culture and Tourism jumps in "@@LEADER@@ we can't let private sector to run such an important part of @@NAME@@'s Tourism Industry. We should start public 'Whole Houses' where we provide tourists a whole bunch of 'services'. We should register the workers so nobody can run a 'Whole House' without government permission.

Effect: Sex workers are considered civil servants


Option 4: Your Minister of Education is furious: "I can't believe you are even considering these ideas! Our youth should be in the universities not in these so called Whole Houses. This shows that we can't direct the young people into education. We should provide government scholarship especially for attractive young people so that they will enroll in the universities and won't have to work in these places of ill fame."

effect: Government organizes beauty pageants to determine who gets a scholarship.


Option 5: A young and very attractive lady with a very unappropriate outfit walks into your office and everyone stops and stares at her as she approaches you. She bends over to your desk, looks you in the eye and says "I have a crazy idea, why don't we close down all the universities and turn them into Whole Houses. I can work there and even manage one of them. Sure I might not be a very knowledgable person but I can learn more about life and economics there." She kisses you on the cheek, "Think about it." She winks at you, turns around and walks out as everyone keeps staring at her.

effect: Best minds of @@NAME@@ now work as a sex worker.

[Caracasus]

While we do have an "adult" tag that allows us to filter out some content, this issue crosses the line. There might be an issue here, but I really think you need to revisit it and figure out exactly what the issue is. Are we talking about red light districts or are we talking about young people from @@NAME@@ hooking up with rich tourists?

It basically needs a pretty substantial re-write at this stage. You need to consider what the issue in hand is here, and be a little less in your face with the more mature content - as the actress said to the bishop.

I'd cut the last option. It's basically smut at this point and adds nothing much that other issues don't.

[Paradiosa]

While we do have an "adult" tag that allows us to filter out some content, this issue crosses the line. There might be an issue here, but I really think you need to revisit it and figure out exactly what the issue is. Are we talking about red light districts or are we talking about young people from @@NAME@@ hooking up with rich tourists?

It basically needs a pretty substantial re-write at this stage. You need to consider what the issue in hand is here, and be a little less in your face with the more mature content - as the actress said to the bishop.

I'd cut the last option. It's basically smut at this point and adds nothing much that other issues don't.

Wow it's really discouraging seeing your an hour of work being dismissed like this. I thought it would be fun if NS players got to decide if they are going to allow sex tourism. But I think it is against the rules. Thanks for the feedback. I'll go back to playing the game instead of trying to contribute.

[Caracasus]

While we do have an "adult" tag that allows us to filter out some content, this issue crosses the line. There might be an issue here, but I really think you need to revisit it and figure out exactly what the issue is. Are we talking about red light districts or are we talking about young people from @@NAME@@ hooking up with rich tourists?

It basically needs a pretty substantial re-write at this stage. You need to consider what the issue in hand is here, and be a little less in your face with the more mature content - as the actress said to the bishop.

I'd cut the last option. It's basically smut at this point and adds nothing much that other issues don't.

Wow it's really discouraging seeing your an hour of work being dismissed like this. I thought it would be fun if NS players got to decide if they are going to allow sex tourism. But I think it is against the rules. Thanks for the feedback. I'll go back to playing the game instead of trying to contribute.

Apologies if you feel discouraged after this, that was not my intention. As I said, there is the potential for an issue here, but I feel you'd have to scale back some of the references to non-PG material in places (innuendo is your friend here - suggest, don't say) and add a little clarity to the issue.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Sometimes its best to get honest feedback rather than spend a month or more drafting something that has no chance of getting into the game.

Any author who wants to send in submissions without ever knowing how good or bad they are is always welcome to. Deleting doesn't take us long on the other side.

However, Got Issues is basically the only way that authors have got to get feedback from the community and the editors, and the only way to know if what you're writing is ready to get published or not. Unless we give absolute honest feedback, the whole process is worthless.

I'd agree with you that you're best off sticking to playing rather than writing the game. The ability to take on board negative criticism and to use that criticism to actually improve, that's the number one quality required of a good author.

I also feel bad that you feel disheartened, but honestly I think its better to be cruel to be kind. The hour you wasted was an hour wasted regardless of whether you got feedback or not. The feedback lets you avoid wasting any more time on it.

Of course, if your'e feeling positive, you could try and make it a better issue, with more subtlety and nuance. Like Caracasus says, just scale it back a little to PG, and use implication and innuendo rather than outright description. The topic matter isn't verboten as such, it just takes a little finesse.

Up to you though. We're here if you want to work with us. If not, there's lots more to do on NS than write issues.

[Paradiosa]

There might be an issue here, but I really think you need to revisit it and figure out exactly what the issue is.

It basically needs a pretty substantial re-write at this stage.

To be honest, these are not very good feedbacks.

be a little less in your face with the more mature content

This is a good one.

From the feedbacks I got, I understand that you don't like anything I wrote and I have to start from zero. I was expecting more of a "change this, delete that, add this" kind of feedback.

I'm ready to edit my submission but with the feedback I got, I feel I'm close to zero. If that's the case I shouldn't be writing at all. But I think there is more than zero in my post. Still, it's your decision as moderators.

[Jutsa]

Don't worry too much about it. First drafts are rarely a hit.
It took me 6 or more drafts, over the course of coming, going, coming back a little later, going,
and then gluing myself half a year later with some despiration, to actually get my first issue in.

Besides, you can't really write issue drafts without expecting hour-long(or more) drafting sessions to go down the drain.
I've had to ditch one, put two in the rewrite circle, and push about eight unreleased drafts into a pending/scrap pile
in just the last few days, myself.

If you're really intent on writing issues, you'll be able to revisit, maybe with some help or after a small break, but still get something done.
If not... well, you only spent about an hour to find out.

For reference of the rough limits of PG material, feel free to take a look at some of the adult issues here and here,
and then look for them in this list. Try to keep the content less explicit than those examples,
and you'll probably have a much more appealing issue draft for the future.

As of now, while it's a good premise, it's probably just a bit much for the issues list.
(Of course, if an editor disagrees, then you can probably just edit out some explicit stuff and cut down the controversial options)

[Paradiosa]

Don't worry too much about it. First drafts are rarely a hit.
It took me 6 or more drafts, over the course of coming, going, coming back a little later, going,
and then gluing myself half a year later with some despiration, to actually get my first issue in.

Besides, you can't really write issue drafts without expecting hour-long(or more) drafting sessions to go down the drain.
I've had to ditch one, put two in the rewrite circle, and push about eight unreleased drafts into a pending/scrap pile
in just the last few days, myself.

If you're really intent on writing issues, you'll be able to revisit, maybe with some help or after a small break, but still get something done.
If not... well, you only spent about an hour to find out.

For reference of the rough limits of PG material, feel free to take a look at some of the adult issues here and here,
and then look for them in this list. Try to keep the content less explicit than those examples,
and you'll probably have a much more appealing issue draft for the future.

As of now, while it's a good premise, it's probably just a bit much for the issues list.
(Of course, if an editor disagrees, then you can probably just edit out some explicit stuff and cut down the controversial options)

Thank you for your advices. Maybe I should try a less contraversial topic for my first issue.

I won't be editing this draft for now. If anyone wants to work on it and maybe publish eventually, feel free.

[Australian rePublic]

Hello. Not a bad little issue you got here. Now let's take a look
Clean it up a bit and make it more subtle: