[Draft] Commend Shizensky

[Kanglia]

Commend Shizensky
Category: Commendation
Proposed by: Kanglia
The Security Council,

NOTING that Shizensky is the founder of Renegade Islands Alliance (RIA), a region commended by Security Council Resolution #173,

AMAZED at the courage of Shizensky and the RIA, in overcoming the destruction of their forum by DEN, a notorious invader organization,

APPLUADING Shizensky’s creation of Breeze, a technology designed to make defending easier and more efficient, as well as other helpful tools, and the willingness to share the code for these tools,

TOUTING Shizensky's impressive record of activity in defending, including:

• Defending over 500 regions during the summer of 2017 alone,
  
• Training Acronius, winner of the FRA Newcomer of the Year award in 2015, as well as Tangaroan Islands, a defender that quickly rose through the ranks of defenderdom,
  
• Being involved in the liberations of Asia and St. Abbaddon in 2013 and the UDL Spring Cleaning Operation, a major military operation occurring in June of 2014, as well as recent liberations such as Japan,
  
• Aiding with the refound of The Skeleton Army,
  
• Achieving the rank of Knight in TITO, the military of 10000 Islands,

RECOGNIZING Shiznensky’s importance on bringing up new generations of defenders, as evidenced by winning the award for FRA Mentor of the Year

THANKING Shizensky for the creation of an avenue for newer nations to receive advice and mentoring from their older counterparts,

ADMIRING Shizensky’s willingness in welcoming and mentoring younger nations, no matter their military alignment,

IMPRESSED with the ability Shizensky has displayed in bringing raiders and defenders closer together in camaraderie,

Hereby commends Shizensky.

The Security Council

NOTING that Shizensky is the founder of the Renegade Islands Alliance, a region commended by SC#173,


AMAZED at the courage of Shizensky and the RIA, which jointly overcame a destruction of a fourm by the notorious raider organization of DEN,

APPRECIATIVE of Shizensky’s creation of Breeze, a technology designed to make defending easier and more efficient,

TOUTING Shizensky's impressive record of activity in defending, including:

• Defending over 500 regions during the summer of 2017 alone,
  
• Training Acronius, which won the FRA Newcomer of the Year award in 2015, as well as Tangaroan Islands, which quickly rose through the ranks of defenderdom,
  
• Winning the award for FRA Mentor of the Year for the efforts in training and enhancing new talent in the defender sphere,
  
• Being involved in the Liberations of Asia and St. Abbaddon in 2013 and the UDL Spring Cleaning Operation, a major detag operation occuring in June of 2014, as well as recent liberations such as Japan,
  
• Being a part of the refound of The Skeleton Army,
  
• Achieving the rank of Knight in TITO, the military of 10000 Islands,
  
• Creating the Renegade Islands Alliance Special Forces, in which several prominent defenders were involved, including Benevolent Thomas, Dixadoing, and Red Dusk, all of which have contributed greatly to the military world,

Hereby commends Shizensky

I have another part about the RIA & Shiz's impact on that community that is unfinished & will be added on if I feel it's necessary later. This is my first crack at the SC but I'd like you all to be as blunt as possible
Shiz has been one of the top tier individuals in NS as well as one of the more successful GP'ers who haven't gotten a C&C yet. I think that this is a long time coming, and with his recent retirement, a well deserved one.
I also have more info on some more higher echelon operations that Shiz has been in, if this is deemed a little short.

[Ransium]

Winning the award for FRA Mentor of the Year for his efforts in training and enhancing new talent in the defender sphere,

R4b.

Beyond that it’s a start, but I think it needs a lot of work. I’ll try to provide in-depth comments in the next few days, if the holidays don’t cut me down.

[Kanglia]

Winning the award for FRA Mentor of the Year for his efforts in training and enhancing new talent in the defender sphere,

R4b.

Beyond that it’s a start, but I think it needs a lot of work. I’ll try to provide in-depth comments in the next few days, if the holidays don’t cut me down.

oshoot thanks.

But yeah, part of the reason I posted it is to get some feedback & more comments on it. I'm probably not even gonna submit this before the new year begins anyways

[Unibot III]

It's a start! Well done. So, remember to use punctuation and there's a case or two where you're breaking R4 or awkwardly trying to get around R4. There's a few tricks SC Authors use to get around R4 and make it sound more fluid and natural. I like you've focused on how many people that Shiz has brought to defending, that's an understated contribution that goes unmentioned often in SC resolutions. I'd like to see a bit about how Shiz has demonstrated a lot of leadership in defender circles. A lot of folks have looked up to him. He's been a good ambassador for defenderdom.

You'll get there, but this draft will need some work!

The Security Council,,

NOTING that Shizensky is the founder of the Renegade Islands Alliance, a region commended by SC#173,

AMAZED at the courage of Shizensky and the RIA, which jointly overcame in overcoming the a destruction of a fourm forum by DEN, a notorious invader organization,

APPRECIATIVE of Shizensky’s creation of Breeze, a technology designed to make defending easier and more efficient,

TOUTING Shizensky's impressive record of activity in defending, including:

• Defending over 500 regions during the summer of 2017 alone,
• Training Acronius, which won winner of the FRA Newcomer of the Year award in 2015, as well as Tangaroan Islands, which a defender that quickly rose through the ranks of defenderdom,
• Winning the award for FRA Mentor of the Year for his their efforts in training and enhancing discovering new talent in the defender sphere,
• Being involved in the liberations of Asia and St. Abbaddon in 2013 and the UDL Spring Cleaning Operation, a major detag operation occuring in June of 2014, as well as recent liberations such as Japan,
• Being apart of the Assisting with the refound of The Skeleton Army,
• Achieving the rank of Knight in TITO, the military of 10000 Islands,

Creating the Renegade Islands Alliance Special Forces, in which several prominent defenders were involved, including Benevolent Thomas, Dixadoing, and Red Dusk, all of which have contributed greatly to the military world,

Hereby commends Shizensky.

[Mallorea and Riva]

Being apart of the refound of The Skeleton Army,

Missed that one by an inch, and after so much work >.>

[Wordy]

Yeah I saw you try to nab it. I shoot faster than you Mall.


As to the resolution I believe Shiz has done quite a lot on removing the ill will that was felt between defenders / invaders. It would be good to see that acklowledged if at all possible.

[Queen Yuno]

OMG YAY SHIZ
COMMEND IT @.@

<3

[Bears Armed]

apart of the refound

OOC; missing gap after the 'a'?

[Kanglia]

apart of the refound

OOC; missing gap after the 'a'?

In this context yes, thanks!

[Lenlyvit]

Looking forward to seeing this finished and passed. Good job Kang, and good luck!

[Vulturret]

Good job on this.

[Benevolent Thomas]

Shizensky has also created other tools that have benefited defending. There was one that gave update time approximations for regions (wasn't supremely accurate, but it was beautiful for trigger setting) and there was a tool to assist in manual recruiting.

Instead of mentioning individuals that were trained, maybe just mention his Defender Awards received throughout the years. Throw in fluff like "Recognizing that Shizensky is responsible for the upbringing of multiple generations of defending's leaders, having been recognized for it [insert award info here]".

Shiz may have achieved an even higher rank in TITO than Knight, may want to ask TITO about that. I personally don't need to be mentioned. My stint in RIASF was brief and this resolution should be about Shiz. I'm no Domino Domination, after all (nor am I Lichto, Tierra de Madre, Kzaria, Tangoraon Islands, Acronius, Red Dusk, Scepez, HumanSanity, Babylatia, nor Aetaris).

Shiz also kicked off the Gameplay Advice Thread. His willingness to be a mentor to new nations is by far his greatest contribution to GP. Several prominent raiders could name Shizensky as one of the few people willing to provide advice when solicited as well. He is one of the more welcoming figures in our corner of NS, second only to Ananke in my book.

Reach out into the corners of NSGP and find out all you can about your subject. Do him justice.

[Kanglia]

Thanks to all who have posted over the last few days, I'll likely post a second draft in between Christmas and the New Year.

[Vulturret]

Thanks to all who have posted over the last few days, I'll likely post a second draft in between Christmas and the New Year.

Thanks, I'm sure it'll be good!

[Kanglia]

Alright, second draft is up! Took most of the edits of word usage from Uni & tried to add other clauses to satisfy others!

[Mallorea and Riva]

Alright, second draft is up! Took most of the edits of word usage from Uni & tried to add other clauses to satisfy others!

Pretty sure you broke something. Check your tag nesting in your op.

[Drasnia]

Alright, second draft is up! Took most of the edits of word usage from Uni & tried to add other clauses to satisfy others!

Pretty sure you broke something. Check your tag nesting in your op.

Looks like the [box]and [spoiler]tags are mis-nested.

Either close the box before opening the spoiler or after closing the spoiler. You can't do it in between.

[Kenmoria]

You require a line break between the RECOGNISING and THANKING lines.

[Kanglia]

Alright, first off, thank you to everyone for catching the errors either in grammar or structure that I've had, it's much appreciated. However I'd like to get some more thoughts on the resolution itself if that's okay?

[Tim-Opolis]

NOTING that Shizensky is the founder of Renegade Islands Alliance, a region commended by SC#173,

I would extend this to be long-form as in "Security Council Resolution #173", and also grab the URL tags for the resolution (which I've done in my quoted bit if you just want to copy that). Similarly, region tags for the first time its mentioned.

AMAZED at the courage of Shizensky and the RIA, in overcoming the a destruction of their community forum by DEN, a notorious invader organization,

If you're going to use RIA here and elsewhere in the resolution, I'd edit the first clause to include an (RIA) after the region's name so as to clearly affiliate the acronym. Additionally, added some changes in red.

APPRECIATIVE of Shizensky’s creation of Breeze, a technology designed to make defending easier and more efficient, as well as other helpful tools, and the willingness to share the code for these tools,

I would maybe use Applauding here as the starting clause. Additionally, I believe Breeze was published not only for defending but as a general assistance tool, so widening it to that might help its overall appeal. It didn't really get fully R/D'd until Breeze++, which Vinny made, and iirc the o.g Breeze was more of a general help script. The sentence also kind of runs on by the end. Perhaps something like this would work:

"APPLAUDING Shizensky's creation of Breeze, a technology which allowed for nations to legally utilize more efficient national actions.

FURTHER APPLAUDING Shizensky's other assorted technological creations, as well as their willingness to provide their access to them for who might need it"

TOUTING Shizensky's impressive record of activity in defending, including:

• Defending over 500 regions during the summer of 2017 alone,
• Training Acronius, winner of the FRA Newcomer of the Year award in 2015, as well as Tangaroan Islands, a defender that quickly rose through the ranks of defenderdom,
• Being involved in the liberations of Asia and St. Abbaddon in 2013 and the UDL Spring Cleaning Operation, a major detag operation occuring in June of 2014, as well as recent liberations such as Japan,
• Aiding with the refound of The Skeleton Army,
• Achieving the rank of Knight in TITO, the military of 10000 Islands,

Looks good here, though I'd provide region and nation tags to the relevant regions and nations. I would also note his significance with the Renegade Islands Alliance Special Forces, RIA's own military, though you'll have to ask an RIAer for details on that specific matter. Additionally, something to me just sounds awkward about "a defender that quickly rose through the ranks of defenderdom", but that's more silly flow than anything else.

RECOGNIZING Shiznensky’s importance on bringing up new generations of defenders, as evidenced by winning the award for FRA Mentor of the Year,

Minor additions

THANKING Shizensky for the creation of the Gameplay Advice Thread, a way for new nations to learn new things,

I don't think that Gameplay Advice Thread is R4 violating as it doesn't explicitly mention anything within R4's confines, but I'd still expound on the clause a bit. Perhaps have it be "an avenue through which new nations could receive advice and mentoring from their more seasoned counterparts,"

ADMIRING Shizensky’s willingness in welcoming and mentoring younger nations, no matter their alignment,

Maybe specify "military alignment" to make clear this is referring to an R/D matter.

IMPRESSED with the ability Shizensky has displayed in bringing raiders and defenders closer together in camaradiere,

*thumbs up*


All in all this looks really good! I'd research a bit more to make sure you've got all the parts of Shizensky's history, and all his assorted actions, but the current stuff pending some minor changes looks real swell. He's definitely a deserving candidate for commendation.

[Kanglia]

Thanks Tim! I'll get those minor edits in sometime soon. As far as the linking goes, I was planning on doing that when I submitted the proposal anyways, but I can certainly do it in the draft

[Marilyn Manson Freaks]

Full support, Kang.

[Kanglia]

Alright I've been super busy RL lately, so this has been on my backburner for basically all month. Does anybody have any suggestions about any specific additions to this?

[Benevolent Thomas]

Alright I've been super busy RL lately, so this has been on my backburner

Just don't put it on your "frontburner"; that phrase triggers me greatly.

[Fauxia]

There should be a space between "Renegade Islands Alliance" and "(RIA)"