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[Scrapped] Squeezed in the Sky

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Comhar
Political Columnist
 
Posts: 5
Founded: Oct 22, 2016
Democratic Socialists

[Scrapped] Squeezed in the Sky

Postby Comhar » Sun Nov 19, 2017 3:59 pm

Never posted on the message board here. I would like some feedback on my draft issue. Thanks!

Squeezed in the Sky

The Issue

@@NAME@@'s airlines have been in the news for the treatment of the flying public. Citizens and national experts alike have come to you raising concerns about increasing fees, shrinking seats, and poor customer service.

The Debate

1. “We are giving customers what they want – low fares and more choice,” said @@NAME@@ Airways CEO @@RANDOMNAME@@. “Who cares if we have a few small fees for better seats, bottled water, or restroom access. Overall, we are saving people @@CURRENCY@@, boosting business, and allowing more people to travel.”
Effect: @@NAME@@ airlines announce new fees for oxygen use by passengers.

2. “We are sick of being treated like this,” said activist @@RANDOMNAME@@. “Just last week I saw an old woman being dragged kicking and screaming off the plane. This is far too common. You should enact rules that allow for humans to be at least as well treated as @@ANIMAL@@ with minimum seat sizes and no extra fees.”
Effect: Following legislation in @@NAME@@, the only class is first class.
Last edited by Comhar on Wed Nov 22, 2017 5:35 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Fauxia
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Founded: Dec 22, 2016
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Fauxia » Sun Nov 19, 2017 5:35 pm

Check for overlap with issue 787
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Australian rePublic
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Left-Leaning College State

Postby Australian rePublic » Mon Nov 20, 2017 2:51 pm

Hello Comhar. Not a bad little issue you have here. We already have an issue about peoole being dragged off flights. Also, who said that @@ANIMAL@@s get any rights?
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Comhar
Political Columnist
 
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Founded: Oct 22, 2016
Democratic Socialists

Postby Comhar » Mon Nov 20, 2017 4:00 pm

Fauxia wrote:Check for overlap with issue 787

Ahh I tried to see if there was anything similar but there are a lot of issues :)

If I removed the dragging off plane part and kept it to seating and fees would it still be a good issue to have? If not I will go back to the drawing board.

Also... just went to check my issues and I have 787 today. Irony!
Last edited by Comhar on Mon Nov 20, 2017 4:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Kenmoria
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Founded: Jul 03, 2017
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Kenmoria » Tue Nov 21, 2017 3:27 pm

Effect lines are not sentences, they should not have a capital letter or a full stop. I would also try to add a third option to the issue to make it more interesting.
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Shwe Tu Colony
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Founded: Sep 27, 2016
Democratic Socialists

Postby Shwe Tu Colony » Tue Nov 21, 2017 5:57 pm

Kenmoria wrote:Effect lines are not sentences, they should not have a capital letter or a full stop. I would also try to add a third option to the issue to make it more interesting.


I think commas in effect lines are also advised against.
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Candlewhisper Archive
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Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Anarchy

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Wed Nov 22, 2017 4:28 am

As noted, this issue as a whole isn't going to be used as it overlaps with existing ones.

Great title pun, though. Always wanted to work in some sort of variant of the famous "Excuse me while I kiss the sky" gag.
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Baggieland
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Founded: May 27, 2013
Father Knows Best State

Postby Baggieland » Wed Nov 22, 2017 5:30 am

Very good effort for your first attempt. Pity about the overlap. Look forward to your next draft.
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Comhar
Political Columnist
 
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Founded: Oct 22, 2016
Democratic Socialists

Postby Comhar » Wed Nov 22, 2017 5:35 pm

Baggieland wrote:Very good effort for your first attempt. Pity about the overlap. Look forward to your next draft.


Thanks for all the feedback everyone. I will look to see what else I can try. Back to the drawing board...
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