[Draft]Trans Off Arms?

[New Quisqueya]

Please, I don't know what name to give it. This one is temporal.

[validity] For all nations that have an army and have accepted transgender people.

Draft 1

[The Issue]
Yesterday, @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, General of the @@DEMONYM@@ Armed Forces, has issued a ban on transgender entering the Army or Navy with the pretext that transgender treatment is to expensive. Following the ban, a clash of activists has entered your office.

[The Debate]
[option] "This is a serious violation of our rights!" cries transgender activist @@RANDOMNAME@@, who changes "their" gender daily. The Army pays seven times as much on erectile dysfunction treatment, so spending should not be a pretext. "@@Leader@@, end this ban and give our soldiers gender transition treatment if they want. Increased spending might be a problem, but remember this: civil rights go first!"
[fallout] @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ enter the army to get free gender transition treatment

[option] "Are you serious?" asks libertarian activist @@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@, who waves a sign displaying "Taxation Is Theft". I know it is a right for people to attend the Army, but raising taxes is not going to help at all. "Let them trans enter the goddamn Navy if they please, but decrease spending on unnecesary treatment like this too. Not only for those serving but for any gender program in out country".
[fallout] Taxes decrease while transgender @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ seek acceptance.

[option] "That's completly stupid!" says @@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@, a very well known right-wing commentator. "Transgenderism is just a stupid mental disorder. Disabled people cannot serve in the army for God's sake. We should ban it completly. If you let them, they'll soon start making it mandatory for people to change their intimacy. It's against our values anyways"
[fallout] Being transgender has been outlawed.

[option] "I have a better idea" says Michael Robotnivker, CEO of Advanced Macrosystems. "Why don't we change actual soldiers with robots. Robots are more efficient, they don't need training or rest, and they also follow orders even better than critical thinking humans. We will need some government spending in order to start designing them.
[fallout] Expensive robots send thousands of soldiers to the streets.

[option] "My goodness! Everything is war, war, and more war!" cries known pacifist veteran @@RANDOMNAMEFEMALE@@. "War has taken lots of things from us, including my dear love! We should dissolve this so called Army from standing and start helping those who have suffered war. I know we might stand with no defense, but we can better our aid to other nations so no more armies are needed."
[fallout] The Armed Forces are dissolved while foreign nations prepare for war after receiving unwanted aid.

Draft 2

[The Issue]
Recently, @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, General of the @@DEMONYM@@ Armed Forces, has issued a ban on transgender people entering the Army or Navy with the pretext that transgender treatment is too expensive. Following the ban, a clash of activists has entered your office.

[The Debate]
[option] "This is a serious violation of our rights!" cries transgender activist @@RANDOMNAME@@, who changes "their" gender daily. "The Army pays seven times as much on erectile dysfunction treatment, so spending should not be a pretext. @@Leader@@, end this ban and give our soldiers gender transition treatment if they want. Increased spending might be a problem, but remember this: civil rights come first!"
[fallout] Most new recruits in the military join for free gender transition treatment

[option] "Are you serious?" asks libertarian activist @@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@, who waves a sign displaying "Taxation Is Theft". "It may be a right for people to join the Army, but raising taxes is not going to help at all. Let them transgender enter the goddamn Navy if they please, but decrease spending on unnecessary treatment like this. Oh! And cut funding to all gender programs as well!"
[fallout] Taxes decrease while gender is sold to the highest bidder.

[option] "That's completly ridiculous!" says @@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@, a very well known right-wing commentator. "Transgenderism is just a stupid mental disorder. Disabled people cannot serve in the army for God's sake. We should ban it completely. If you allow them in the army, they'll soon start making it mandatory for everyone to change their gender. It's against @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ values anyways"
[fallout] Soldiers are discharged at the drop of a hat if they're suspected of developing PTSD

[option] "I have a better idea" says Michael Robotnivker, CEO of Advanced Macrosystems. "Why don't we replace actual soldiers with robots. Robots are more efficient, they don't need training or rest, and they also follow orders even better than critically thinking humans. They might need some maintainance, but better get prepared for the future. We will need some government spending in order to start designing them.
[fallout] Morale among veterans is at an all-time low after losing their jobs to robots.

[option] "My goodness! Everything is war, war, and more war!" cries known pacifist veteran @@RANDOMNAMEFEMALE@@. "War has taken lots of things from us, including my dear love! We should dissolve this so called Army from standing and start helping those who have suffered war. I know we might stand with no defense, but we can better our aid to other nations so no more armies are needed."
[fallout] @@NAME@@ is regarded by enemies as an "easy picking" following the abolition of the military.

Draft 3

[The Issue]
@@RANDOMMALENAME@@, General of the @@DEMONYM@@ Armed Forces, has started a debate to decide wether transgender people should serve in the army after the new recently published nation budget. The report showed an increase of spending due to transgender troops receiving gender transition treatment.
[The Debate]
[option] "This is a serious violation of our rights!" cries transgender activist @@RANDOMNAME@@, who changes "their" gender daily. "The Army pays seven times as much on erectile dysfunction treatment, so spending should not be a pretext. @@Leader@@, end this ban and give our soldiers gender transition treatment if they want. Increased spending might be a problem, but remember this: our rights come first!"
[fallout] Most new recruits in the military join for free gender transition treatment

[option] "Are you serious?" asks libertarian activist @@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@, who waves a sign displaying "Taxation Is Theft". "It may be a right for people to join the Army, but raising taxes is not going to help at all. Let them transgender enter the goddamn Navy if they please, but decrease spending on unnecessary treatment like this. Oh! And cut funding to all gender programs as well!"
[fallout] Taxes decrease while gender is sold to the highest bidder.

[option] "That's completly ridiculous!" says @@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@, a very well known right-wing commentator. "Transgenderism is just a stupid mental disorder. Disabled people cannot serve in the army for God's sake. We should ban it completely. If you allow them in the army, they'll soon start making it mandatory for everyone to change their gender. It's against @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ values anyways"
[fallout] Soldiers are discharged at the drop of a hat if they're suspected of developing PTSD

[option] "I have a better idea" says Michael Robotnivker, CEO of Advanced Macrosystems. "Why don't we replace actual soldiers with robots. Robots are more efficient, they don't need training or rest, and they also follow orders even better than critically thinking humans. They might need some maintainance, but better get prepared for the future. We will need some government subsidies in order to start designing them.
[fallout] Morale among veterans is at an all-time low after losing their jobs to robots.

[option] "My goodness! Everything is war, war, and more war!" cries known pacifist veteran @@RANDOMNAMEFEMALE@@. "War has taken lots of things from us, including my dear love! We should dissolve this so called Army from standing and start helping those who have suffered war. I know we might stand with no defense, but we can better our aid to other nations so no more armies are needed."
[fallout] @@NAME@@ is regarded by enemies as an "easy picking" following the abolition of the military.

[Zaluzianskya]

has issued a ban on transgender entering the Army or Navy with the pretext that transgender treatment is to expensive.

Transgender people. Transgender is an adjective, not a noun. Also, *too expensive.

The Army pays seven times as much on erectile dysfunction treatment, so spending should not be a pretext.
I know it is a right for people to attend the Army, but raising taxes is not going to help at all.

If these are supposed to be quotes from their respective speakers, they need quotation marks.

but decrease spending on unnecesary treatment like this too. Not only for those serving but for any gender program in out country".

*unnecessary
*our country."

"That's completly stupid!"
We should ban it completly.

*completely

[fallout] Being transgender has been outlawed.

You go from "transgenderism is a mental illness and mentally ill people shouldn't serve in the military" to "nobody can be trans". This is a bit bland for an effect line anyway. How about something like "Soldiers are discharged at the drop of a hat if they're suspected of developing PTSD"?

[Fauxia]

Please, I don't know what name to give it. This one is temporal.

[validity] For all nations that have an army and have accepted transgender people.

[The Issue]
Yesterday,

Change to "recently"

@@RANDOMMALENAME@@, General of the @@DEMONYM@@ Armed Forces, has issued a ban on transgender entering the Army or Navy with the pretext that transgender treatment is to expensive. Following the ban, a clash of activists has entered your office.

We should be assuming that @@LEADER@@ is the commander-one-chief of the armed forces. Change it to a General raising a debate by saying that they shouldn't be payed for. Also, does this apply to the Air Force and special forces (marines, for example)? A blanket ban might be easier, and require less explaining.

[The Debate]
[option] "This is a serious violation of our rights!" cries transgender activist @@RANDOMNAME@@, who changes "their" gender daily. The Army pays seven times as much on erectile dysfunction treatment, so spending should not be a pretext. "@@Leader@@,

Should be @@LEADER@@

end this ban and give our soldiers gender transition treatment if they want. Increased spending might be a problem, but remember this: civil rights go first!"

This option will have to be tweaked if you take my advice for the basis of the issue. But a solid first option. "Civil Rights go first" is awkward. Change it to "come," or tweak the last sentence a bit more.

[fallout] @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ enter the army to get free gender transition treatment

Hmmm. This could be funny, but right now it's a bit bland. I would suggest something along the lines of "most new recruits in the army join for free gender transition treatment." The more outrageous, the better, as long as it isn't just stupid.

[option] "Are you serious?" asks libertarian activist @@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@, who waves a sign displaying "Taxation Is Theft". I know it is a right for people to attend the Army,

Attend? Try "join." And the "I know it is a right" is awkward. Try "it may be a right"

but raising taxes is not going to help at all. "Let them trans enter the goddamn Navy if they please, but decrease spending on unnecesary treatment like this too. Not only for those serving but for any gender program in out country".

"Trans?" Try "transgenders." Also, what is he saying "too" about? Cut that word out. Furthermore, the transition to the last sentence sound awkward. Maybe say "Oh! And cut funding to all gender programs as well!"

[fallout] Taxes decrease while transgender @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ seek acceptance.

Bland, and it seems to be two unrelated things in the same sentence. Perhaps "gender is sold to the highest bidder."

[option] "That's completly stupid!" says @@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@, a very well known right-wing commentator. "Transgenderism is just a stupid

Too many stupids. Change the first one to "ridiculous. Also, you misspelled "completely" there.

mental disorder. Disabled people cannot serve in the army for God's sake. We should ban it completly.

Completey.

If you let them,

Add pronouns are bland and don't sound good. Change "them" to either "transgenders" or perhaps something pejorative like "trannies." Also, change it to "allow them in the army," it sounds better.

they'll soon start making it mandatory for people to change their intimacy.

Change "people" to "everyone" and "intimacy" to "gender" is what I suggest.

It's against our values anyways"

Our? You should change it to "@@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@."

[fallout] Being transgender has been outlawed.

WAAAAY too bland. And it just sounds bad. I suggest "sexual education classes consist of informing teens about the evils of sex changes."

[option] "I have a better idea" says Michael Robotnivker, CEO of Advanced Macrosystems. "Why don't we change actual soldiers with robots.

Change "change" to "replace." Also, I would suggest changing "robots" to "drones," but that's your choice.

Robots are more efficient, they don't need training or rest, and they also follow orders even better than critical thinking humans. We will need some government spending in order to start designing them.

Add something after this of why that isn't a problem. And "critical thinking" should be "critically thinking."

[fallout] Expensive robots send thousands of soldiers to the streets.

Sounds weird, isn't funny enough. Maybe "morale among veterans is at an all-time low after losing their jobs to robots/drones."

[option] "My goodness! Everything is war, war, and more war!" cries known pacifist veteran @@RANDOMNAMEFEMALE@@. "War has taken lots of things from us, including my dear love! We should dissolve this so called Army from standing and start helping those who have suffered war. I know we might stand with no defense, but we can better our aid to other nations so no more armies are needed."
[fallout] The Armed Forces are dissolved while foreign nations prepare for war after receiving unwanted aid.

Fallout isn't good enough. Try "@@NAME@@ is regarded by enemies as an "easy picking" following the abolition of the military." Might be too long though.

You have a great premise here, but it needs a lot of work. Still, if you work at it, you should get this through. Feel free to contact me about later drafts.

[Ransium]

I'm not generally a fan of issues that are pulled from the headlines, they tend to become too focused on the current perspectives on the issue and miss the broader themes that'll make the issue meaningful next year or 5 years from now. WIth that in mind, I recommend a bit more abstraction on the issue. I also think the robot option, and probably even the pacificist option need to be cut. I know they're definitely separate issues, but I wonder if there's going to be a big difference between nations okay with gays in the military and transgendered people in the military. WIth that in mind, a 3 option issue might be better as it will allow for much more focus on the question of whether the military should pay for operations.

[Australian rePublic]

Hello and welcome to Got Issues! It's always nice to see a new writter!

Very very good for a first draft


I'm gonna be direct and to the point here, which is a reflection of my personality, not your work:
Why exactly is expensive to have transgender people in the army?

[Zaluzianskya]

(Image)

Hello and welcome to Got Issues! It's always nice to see a new writter!

Very very good for a first draft


I'm gonna be direct and to the point here, which is a reflection of my personality, not your work:
Why exactly is expensive to have transgender people in the army?

I'm not OP, but their issue is ripped from current U.S. headlines. The U.S. military pays for healthcare for servicemembers and veterans (in theory, anyway). Trump recently issued a ban (via fucking Twitter) on transgender servicemembers, claiming that the economic cost of supporting their transition healthcare is too high, despite the fact that seven times as much money is spent on medication for erectile dysfunction (as is specifically mentioned in OP's issue, though I think their use of it is a little too... idk, on-the-nose).

(It's also worth noting that taxpayers are spending far more on Trump's weekend golf trips than on trans servicemembers' healthcare.)

So that's the argument, but it's a fairly weak one IMO.

[Fauxia]

(Image)

Hello and welcome to Got Issues! It's always nice to see a new writter!

Very very good for a first draft


I'm gonna be direct and to the point here, which is a reflection of my personality, not your work:
Why exactly is expensive to have transgender people in the army?

I'm not OP, but their issue is ripped from current U.S. headlines. The U.S. military pays for healthcare for servicemembers and veterans (in theory, anyway). Trump recently issued a ban (via fucking Twitter) on transgender servicemembers, claiming that the economic cost of supporting their transition healthcare is too high, despite the fact that seven times as much money is spent on medication for erectile dysfunction (as is specifically mentioned in OP's issue, though I think their use of it is a little too... idk, on-the-nose).

(It's also worth noting that taxpayers are spending far more on Trump's weekend golf trips than on trans servicemembers' healthcare.)

So that's the argument, but it's a fairly weak one IMO.

Taken from Issue Moderator Luna Amore's guide on how to make an issue: "How to get an idea [for an issue]

"Look in the newspaper, read magazines, watch the news"

Taking issues from headlines is a good idea, not a ripoff. The only problem is, it makes it easier to take a side, you have to be careful (as Ransium said). Also, wrong forum to discuss the trans ban, I'm sure there are already 1,000 threads.

[Zaluzianskya]

I'm not OP, but their issue is ripped from current U.S. headlines. The U.S. military pays for healthcare for servicemembers and veterans (in theory, anyway). Trump recently issued a ban (via fucking Twitter) on transgender servicemembers, claiming that the economic cost of supporting their transition healthcare is too high, despite the fact that seven times as much money is spent on medication for erectile dysfunction (as is specifically mentioned in OP's issue, though I think their use of it is a little too... idk, on-the-nose).

(It's also worth noting that taxpayers are spending far more on Trump's weekend golf trips than on trans servicemembers' healthcare.)

So that's the argument, but it's a fairly weak one IMO.

Taken from Issue Moderator Luna Amore's guide on how to make an issue: "How to get an idea [for an issue]

"Look in the newspaper, read magazines, watch the news"

Taking issues from headlines is a good idea, not a ripoff. The only problem is, it makes it easier to take a side, you have to be careful (as Ransium said). Also, wrong forum to discuss the trans ban, I'm sure there are already 1,000 threads.

I get everything you said. I wasn't the one who took issue with the ripped-from-the-headlines-ness of the topic, and I was merely explaining the context to Aussie, who inquired about why it's a thing.

[New Quisqueya]

[fallout] Being transgender has been outlawed.

You go from "transgenderism is a mental illness and mentally ill people shouldn't serve in the military" to "nobody can be trans". This is a bit bland for an effect line anyway. How about something like "Soldiers are discharged at the drop of a hat if they're suspected of developing PTSD"?

Good idea.

[New Quisqueya]

@@RANDOMMALENAME@@, General of the @@DEMONYM@@ Armed Forces, has issued a ban on transgender entering the Army or Navy with the pretext that transgender treatment is to expensive. Following the ban, a clash of activists has entered your office.

We should be assuming that @@LEADER@@ is the commander-one-chief of the armed forces. Change it to a General raising a debate by saying that they shouldn't be payed for. Also, does this apply to the Air Force and special forces (marines, for example)? A blanket ban might be easier, and require less explaining.

What do you mean a blanket ban?

end this ban and give our soldiers gender transition treatment if they want. Increased spending might be a problem, but remember this: civil rights go first!"

This option will have to be tweaked if you take my advice for the basis of the issue. But a solid first option. "Civil Rights go first" is awkward. Change it to "come," or tweak the last sentence a bit more.

What do you think I can replace this with?