[DRAFT] Diplomatic Growlings

[Katalaysia]

[title] Diplomatic Growlings (By the way, I'm not really happy with this title if anyone else has a better one)

[description] A meeting with various diplomats from Brancaland has gone so well that they decided to send you a gift. There is only one problem: they've sent a breeding pair of rare Brancalandian bears, which you now have no idea what to do with, due to your complete lack of zoos to send them to. You have summoned some of your most trusted people to advise you on what to do with them.

[validity] Must have banned zoos

[option] "Well, we can't exactly give them back," your head government adviser @@RANDOMNAME@@ states, putting @@HIS@@ head in @@HIS@@ hands, "It'd probably just be best to open a small zoo to keep them in and allow zoos again. Pick up some of the more exotic animals that the shelters have had to be dealing with ever since you shut the zoos down, and there you go. I mean, it might be expensive, but at least then they're dealt with."
[effect] other countries send you increasingly weird gifts, just to see what you'll do with them

[option] "No! No, no, no, no, no!" @@RANDOMNAME@@, a renowned protester for animal rights, yells, storming in while wearing a protest t-shirt that @@HE@@ has somehow already obtained, "You just want to do what's easy, not what's right! None of you care about what the bears want. They don't want to be thrown into a cage! You finally have the chance to do what the Bracalandians should have done and release them! I mean, they might eat some people, but that's a worthy sacrifice for the bears' freedom!"
[effect] bears are a common hazard of living in @@CAPITAL@@

[option] "Now there dear," your mother says, putting her hand on your shoulder, "Remember what I told you to do whenever you got a gift you didn't like? You can give them to a country that would love to have a couple of bears." She smiles benevolently. "You know, I've never liked how those Blackacrians said such bad things about you. I'm sure if you gave them the bears, everything would be fine! Just never let anyone from Brancaland find out. Or your people. They don't really like Blackacre."
[effect] research and protest groups have formed to find out why @@NAME@@ is arming Blackacre with bears

[option] "Two bears, two bullets. Problem solved," states a mustachioed local-government employee bluntly, putting his revolver down in front of you, "Just tell Brancaland they died of sickness."
[effect] a protest campaign has been set up to save the bears from @@LEADER@@'s apathy

Notes:
I'm worried that 2 and 4 might be a bit too long.
Option 5 doesn't really seem to have a clear disadvantage at the moment
I'm not overly settled on bears if another animal seems better for this. I just liked the fact that it made it obvious that your leader couldn't just keep them as pets.

[Australian rePublic]

This issue is quite long overall. Also, how the hell did these bears get past quarantine?

[Katalaysia]

This issue is quite long overall. Also, how the hell did these bears get past quarantine?

They were a gift, so they got sent through quarantine and on their way. That has actually been done in real life such as 'panda diplomacy', or how China gave countries pandas from the 1950s.

I know it's long, but I can't see any option I can get rid of and still not have a gap in options.

[USS Monitor]

Reminds me of after 9/11 when some Masai leaders decided to give cows -- which are a traditional gift to express sympathy in Masai culture -- to the city of New York. And that just raised questions about what to do with the cows, since New York City is not pasture-land. I'm not sure what ended up happening.

[Ransium]

The no zoo validity triggers a bit odd. For one trigger it's just inferred from freeing all pets (#431-3), for the other it's sort of an aside after banning aquariums (547-1. In both cases, the nations may not quite realize they've banned zoos, so a gentle reminder in the opening text is probably warranted.

As for the number of options, 5 is definitely too many, as you know. Option #4 seems like the weakest of the bunch to me, I'd likely cut that one.

The 5th solution is remarkably similar to 431-5's solution to the stray problem. Considering nations are fairly likely to have answered 431 somewhat recently (since it is one of the policy triggers for this issue), you might acknowledge this at least by making the Ron Swanson character once again the advocate of the 'just shoot them' solution. If you haven't seen Parks and Rec, all you need to know is he's mustachioed, manly, doesn't say much, and is a libertarian.

[Katalaysia]

Thanks! Yeah, I'll cut 4 then, and I'll take a look at that issue before rewriting 5.

[Katalaysia]

Sorry for the double post, but does anyone have any more advice before this gets sent off?

[Jutsa]

Hello, Katalaysia!

This issue concept's a fair bit similar to The Forbidden Fruit,
but the execution's certainly different enough for this to be a valid, independent issue, I believe.

Also, don't feel bashful for bumping your post now and then.

So, without further ado, here is my review!

Title/Issue/Validity:

Diplomatic Growlings

I'm actually completely fine with this issue name; it's better, in my opinion, than a few in-game ones, and on-par with a decent number of others.
If you want another name, go on ahead, but I feel like this one's just fine.

The topic and validity are fine, in my opinion.

Option 1:

your head government adviser @@RANDOMNAME@@ states, putting @@HIS@@ head in @@HIS@@ hands,

Alright, I see a few problems in this one: (See how I used a comma this time? I had to look up how to properly use commas. )
1) A comma should appear after adviser and @@RANDOMNAME@@. However, that's result in...
2) The sentence looks a little clunky with those three commas near one another. (i.e. adviser, @@RANDOMNAME@@, states,)
So, I propose that it'd be rephrased as states @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Head Government Adviser,
3) Head Government Adviser... I'm honestly not sure if that should be capitalized or not.
However, I think that something along the lines of Chief Adviser might work a little better, but I don't think it'd be a necessary change.
Finally, 4) Period after hands, replacing the comma.

The rest of the option, I'm personally alright with. As for the effect line, however...

other countries send you increasingly weird gifts, just to see what you'll do with them

There are two points I want to make here.
1) The effect doesn't seem to acknowledge the fact that zoos were brought back to the public. I'd focus on that, instead of the strange gifts.
That being said, the effect line's not bad; If I might add, it's otherwise pretty good, although this brings me to point number
2) Commas shouldn't appear in effect lines.

Option 2:

"No! No, no, no, no, no!"

No! Actually, just kidding, I'm sure it's fine. That being said, that is a lot of nos.

Bracalandians

Brancalandians* I forgot to add, I love all of these new issues involving Brancaland.

bears are a common hazard of living in @@CAPITAL@@

I would never have thought of a better effect line, I 99.99999% approve.

I should also note, the comma after the non-dialogue sentence is actually correct in this instance.

Option 3:

"Now there dear," your mother says, putting her hand on your shoulder,

1) I believe a comma should appear after there.
2) A period should appear after shoulder instead of a comma.

Everything else about this option looks good to me!

Option 4:

in front of you,

Period after you, instead of a comma.

a protest campaign has been set up to save the bears from @@LEADER@@'s apathy

That effect line might not really work if your nation's super authoritarian. Also, surely everyone'd think that the bears were sick?
Perhaps, instead, the effect should be something like...
@@NAME@@'s gifts seem to always perish under mysterious circumstances
... or something. Not a necessity, but just a thought.

So, to summarize:
1) Some grammar fixtures.[Though very little - and, also, probably only 1 spelling fix; I don't quite remember the exact number.]
2) Maybe a couple of slightly different effect lines.
3) Some slight rephrasing of option 1, though not much.

So, simply put? I think this is a very good issue - one to which I believe is nearly ready for submission, I might add.
Good luck with your issue, Katalaysia! I hope to see it, some time.