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[Draft] The Perfect Look

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Neve Tzedek
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[Draft] The Perfect Look

Postby Neve Tzedek » Sat Mar 25, 2017 2:18 pm

Just to say, I'm not sure about this title so it may change.

Desc :After @@name@@ most famous clothing company has promoted its last lingerie collection featuring skinny female models with the word “Perfection” written just under the ad, several demonstrations have been held up in your country’s capital because the ad was found too offensive and not responsable.

Validity : Some civil rights

Option n°1 : “Enough of these ads !” shouts @@randomfemalename@@ the leader of the feminist organization which organized the demonstrations. “Why should models always be skinny ? Why should these companies decide what are the standards of beauty or perfection? Should I starve just to please the society ? If I eat a properly or even more than I should, why should I be considered unattractive ?” she asks like she’s quoting a famous philosopher. “I’m sick of these ugly anorexic women, more overweight models !”

Fallout : Being overweight became the new standard of beauty.

Effects : Political freedom increases, Obesity increases,

Option n°2 : “Why should we do so ?” says fashion designer Marc Delaroche “I’m sorry if it hurts some people but that’s the sad truth - to look pretty you must look in shape and healthy, that’s how nature wanted it to be. We didn’t make anything up, being skinny or fit has always been the definition of a pretty physical appearance. Plus, it boosts sales and you and I remember how the economy was when companies didn’t use pretty models to promote their products.”

Fallout : Health increases, Economy increases, Obesity decreases, Rudeness increases

Effect : Children are more stressed about how they look than about their future professional life.

Option n°3 : “You all didn’t get anything” says sarcastically your uncle while smoking a cigarette. “Choosing a norm for beauty isn’t right. The real beauty people should try to adopt isn’t found on their external appearance, it should be internal. At the end of the day, you are because of what you do, not because how you look. Also, if companies want to promote their product, then only their product should appear on their ads, not an incredibly sexy model who wants me to buy the product. We should ban models and even beauty pageants.”

Fallout : @@demonym@@ tend to be so indifferent about their body that they became the least hygienic population in @@region@@.

Effect : Niceness increases, Cheerfulness increases, Health decreases, Intelligence increases


Validity : Some civil rights

Description : After @@name@@ most famous clothing company has promoted its last lingerie collection featuring underweight female models with the word “Perfection” written just under the ad, several demonstrations have been held up in your country’s capital because the ad was found irresponsible.
Option n°1 : “Enough of these ads !” shouts ex-model @@randomnamefemale@@ who organized the demonstrations. “These models look ”pretty“ but how can you tell they feel the same way on the inside? Most of them starve look like that. These clothing companies call ”Perfection“ what I call ”eating disorder“ and ”suffering“.This kind of ads may promote a simple product but actually promote a horrible style of life, and I don’t want my kinds to be exposed to that. Companies should promote their products with healthy bodies.”

Fallout : Underweight and overweight models are banned.  

Effect : Health increases, Pizza delivery decreases

Option n°2 : “I half agree” says @@randomnamefemale@@, leader of the social media group “Big Body, Big Heart” . “Fashion designers shouldn’t be annoyed of promoting their products with bigger models. My daughter for example, is bullied at school because she is overweight - I call it discrimination. People should not only feel healthy in their body, but also in their mind, and these ads are not helping.”

Fallout : Underweight people are discriminated. 

Effect : Obesity increases, Pizza delivery increases, inclusiveness increases, Health decreases

Option n°3 : “We represent an ideal, a goal for every women and men.” says model @@randomfemalename@@ who is appearing on the ad. “I fully understand these fa- overweight people since I was overweight when I was a little girl. But I soon understood that this is reality. We shouldn’t be a complex for girls like your daughter but an goal to achieve for every women and men who don’t feel good with their body.”

Fallout : Children are more stressed about how they look than about their future professional life.

Effect : Economy increases, Obesity decreases, Rudeness increases

Option n°4 : “You all didn’t get anything” says sarcastically your uncle while smoking a cigarette. “Choosing a norm for beauty isn’t right. The real beauty people should try to adopt isn’t found on their external appearance, it should be internal. At the end of the day, you are because of what you do, not because how you look. Also, if companies want to promote their product, then only their product should appear on their ads, not an incredibly sexy model who wants me to buy the product. We should ban models.”

Fallout : @@demonym@@ tend to be so indifferent about their body that they became the least hygienic population in @@region@@.

Effects : Niceness increases, Cheerfulness increases, Health decreases, Intelligence increases
Last edited by Neve Tzedek on Sun Mar 26, 2017 5:41 am, edited 11 times in total.

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A Humanist Resurrection
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Postby A Humanist Resurrection » Sat Mar 25, 2017 2:49 pm

#101

Especially option 3.

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Nouveau Yathrib
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Postby Nouveau Yathrib » Sat Mar 25, 2017 2:50 pm

Not sure what Option 1 has to do with Political freedoms. Also Option 3 would probably have negative effects on the economy as well. Interesting concept though, i've been meaning to write an issue on beauty standards myself.
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Neve Tzedek
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Postby Neve Tzedek » Sat Mar 25, 2017 2:53 pm

A Humanist Resurrection wrote:#101

Especially option 3.


Do you think I should stop working on it or changing it ?

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Neve Tzedek
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Postby Neve Tzedek » Sat Mar 25, 2017 2:54 pm

Nouveau Yathrib wrote:Not sure what Option 1 has to do with Political freedoms. Also Option 3 would probably have negative effects on the economy as well. Interesting concept though, i've been meaning to write an issue on beauty standards myself.


I meant that they had their voices heard, but maybe you're right. Also I'm gonna add a negative effect on the economy, thanks for the feedback.

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Candlewhisper Archive
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Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Sat Mar 25, 2017 3:46 pm

I've drafted something similar in the past, which is currently in the staff pool, and is a planned self-edit some time in the next fifty or so issues I publish:

viewtopic.php?f=13&t=369308&p=27808321#p27808321

Though there are actually elements of your draft I like better than mine. :)

Also, this was during my "start and submit several issues within each 24 hrs" phase, so it's not one that I put a lot of love or effort into. If there's anything you want to lift from it, help yourself.
Last edited by Candlewhisper Archive on Sat Mar 25, 2017 4:05 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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USS Monitor
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Postby USS Monitor » Sat Mar 25, 2017 3:52 pm

Neve Tzedek wrote:
A Humanist Resurrection wrote:#101

Especially option 3.


Do you think I should stop working on it or changing it ?


I think if you are going to move forward with it, you should make it more explicit that this is about underweight models and concerns that the images fuel eating disorders. Don't make it about overvaluing beauty in general. Make it specifically about the models being too thin. This would make it more distinct from the beauty pageant issue, as well as addressing some concerns that I have about option 2.

I don't like the way option 2 acts like "skinny" and "fit" are the same thing. IRL, the fashion industry doesn't use thin models because they think that body type is more "healthy" or "fit." They use them because they like the way it looks. In many cases, the models are not healthy. Many of them are underweight, and people in the industry are aware of this. It's an issue that they are grappling with to find a balance between getting the look they want while still making sure they don't create an incentive for aspiring models to become bulimic.

The way this is written now, it's hard to tell if the models are just regular underwear models and feminists are flipping their shit because it's objectification, or if they are unusually skinny and it's about truly unhealthy images in the fashion industry. I think the latter would be more interesting.
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Neve Tzedek
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Postby Neve Tzedek » Sat Mar 25, 2017 4:04 pm

USS Monitor wrote:
Neve Tzedek wrote:
Do you think I should stop working on it or changing it ?


I think if you are going to move forward with it, you should make it more explicit that this is about underweight models and concerns that the images fuel eating disorders. Don't make it about overvaluing beauty in general. Make it specifically about the models being too thin. This would make it more distinct from the beauty pageant issue, as well as addressing some concerns that I have about option 2.

I don't like the way option 2 acts like "skinny" and "fit" are the same thing. IRL, the fashion industry doesn't use thin models because they think that body type is more "healthy" or "fit." They use them because they like the way it looks. In many cases, the models are not healthy. Many of them are underweight, and people in the industry are aware of this. It's an issue that they are grappling with to find a balance between getting the look they want while still making sure they don't create an incentive for aspiring models to become bulimic.

The way this is written now, it's hard to tell if the models are just regular underwear models and feminists are flipping their shit because it's objectification, or if they are unusually skinny and it's about truly unhealthy images in the fashion industry. I think the latter would be more interesting.


I wanted to add the 3rd option because there will always be a guy who sees things globally and asks "Why do we need fashion models anyways?"

For the 2nd option, I know healthy and thin isn't the same thing, I just didn't know how the fashion designer could justify himself and how to make his arguments sound "attractive". Anyways, thanks for the feedback.

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Neve Tzedek
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Postby Neve Tzedek » Sat Mar 25, 2017 4:09 pm

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:I've drafted something similar in the past, which is currently in the staff pool, and is a planned self-edit some time in the next fifty or so issues I publish:

viewtopic.php?f=13&t=369308&p=27808321#p27808321

Though there are actually elements of your draft I like better than mine. :)

Also, this was during my "start and submit several issues within each 24 hrs" phase, so it's not one that I put a lot of love or effort into. If there's anything you want to lift from it, help yourself.


Thanks really nice from you, thank you very much :)
But there is one thing I didn't really get, don't you plan to turn it into one actual issue?

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Candlewhisper Archive
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Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Sat Mar 25, 2017 4:19 pm

Neve Tzedek wrote:
Candlewhisper Archive wrote:I've drafted something similar in the past, which is currently in the staff pool, and is a planned self-edit some time in the next fifty or so issues I publish:

viewtopic.php?f=13&t=369308&p=27808321#p27808321

Though there are actually elements of your draft I like better than mine. :)

Also, this was during my "start and submit several issues within each 24 hrs" phase, so it's not one that I put a lot of love or effort into. If there's anything you want to lift from it, help yourself.


Thanks really nice from you, thank you very much :)
But there is one thing I didn't really get, don't you plan to turn it into one actual issue?


Eh, I may or may not do. Or another editor might. If yours gets published, I'll simply delete my one. There's only about 10 minutes of thought in my one, after all.

Precedent totally exists for this scenario. Drasnia's Syntax Destruction covered similar ground to the earlier draft I wrote for Say Again?, so we chatted and basically lifted option 3 of my issue into his issue, while retaining his much funnier options 1 and 2. All in all, a good collaborative effort. I've deleted almost as many of my accepted drafts as I've had published, but its about the overall issue base and game, not the personal authoring count.
Last edited by Candlewhisper Archive on Sat Mar 25, 2017 4:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Neve Tzedek
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Postby Neve Tzedek » Sat Mar 25, 2017 4:29 pm

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:
Neve Tzedek wrote:
Thanks really nice from you, thank you very much :)
But there is one thing I didn't really get, don't you plan to turn it into one actual issue?


Eh, I may or may not do. Or another editor might. If yours gets published, I'll simply delete my one. There's only about 10 minutes of thought in my one, after all.

Precedent totally exists for this scenario. Drasnia's Syntax Destruction covered similar ground to the earlier draft I wrote for Say Again?, so we chatted and basically lifted option 3 of my issue into his issue, while retaining his much funnier options 1 and 2. All in all, a good collaborative effort. I've deleted almost as many of my accepted drafts as I've had published, but its about the overall issue base and game, not the personal authoring count.


Well, there's not more though in mine. I'm going to focus on my 1st draft "What's Justice?" but if I don't see any problem in turning our two issues into one issue, it would be a pleasure.
For now, I'm just gonna wait for more people to give me their critics.

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Postby Australian rePublic » Sat Mar 25, 2017 5:05 pm

I like this issue, but it needs to make mention to male models
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Postby USS Monitor » Sat Mar 25, 2017 5:29 pm

Australian Republic wrote:I like this issue, but it needs to make mention to male models


Why?

That would just make it more similar to the beauty pageant one, which has an option to let men compete.

I think there's some usable stuff here if NT wants to pursue it, but I really disagree that that is the way to go with it.
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A Humanist Resurrection
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Postby A Humanist Resurrection » Sat Mar 25, 2017 5:51 pm

Neve Tzedek wrote:Do you think I should stop working on it or changing it ?


No. I think you should read #101 very carefully, with special attention to whether there are aspects/issues/options left unexplored there. A special and more finely tuned focus on anorexia or other eating disorders (as already suggested by Monitor) is probably a good idea.

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Neve Tzedek
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Postby Neve Tzedek » Sun Mar 26, 2017 1:16 am

A Humanist Resurrection wrote:
Neve Tzedek wrote:Do you think I should stop working on it or changing it ?


No. I think you should read #101 very carefully, with special attention to whether there are aspects/issues/options left unexplored there. A special and more finely tuned focus on anorexia or other eating disorders (as already suggested by Monitor) is probably a good idea.


Got it, thank you.

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Neve Tzedek
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Postby Neve Tzedek » Sun Mar 26, 2017 5:42 am

I've added a 2nd draft, for those who are interested.

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Neve Tzedek
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Postby Neve Tzedek » Mon Mar 27, 2017 10:08 pm

It would be a pleasure if someone told me what he thinks about the draft I added.

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USS Monitor
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Postby USS Monitor » Mon Mar 27, 2017 10:50 pm

It could use some proofreading for grammar and typos. For example, "underweight people are discriminated" doesn't make sense. It should be "underweight people are discriminated against."
Don't take life so serious... it isn't permanent... RIP Dyakovo and Ashmoria
19th century steamships may be harmful or fatal if swallowed. In case of accidental ingestion, please seek immediate medical assistance.
༄༅། །འགྲོ་བ་མི་རིགས་ག་ར་དབང་ཆ་འདྲ་མཉམ་འབད་སྒྱེཝ་ལས་ག་ར་གིས་གཅིག་གིས་གཅིག་ལུ་སྤུན་ཆའི་དམ་ཚིག་བསྟན་དགོས།

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Neve Tzedek
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Postby Neve Tzedek » Mon Mar 27, 2017 11:11 pm

English isn't my mother tongue so I'd rather focus on the content and then correct my english.
I need your opinion on the issue itself though, it'll be a pleasure to hear yours.
Last edited by Neve Tzedek on Mon Mar 27, 2017 11:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Caracasus
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Postby Caracasus » Tue Mar 28, 2017 3:16 am

I like this idea. If the general idea is to focus on anorexia and other eating disorders can I suggest a change to the actual issue?

Instead of this

Description : After @@name@@ most famous clothing company has promoted its last lingerie collection featuring underweight female models with the word “Perfection” written just under the ad, several demonstrations have been held up in your country’s capital because the ad was found irresponsible.


Maybe this:

Description: After famous model and face of Visage clothing's Perfection range @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@ was rushed to hospital following health complications bought on by her low weight, numerous groups are calling for government intervention in the fashion industry.

Obviously needs some tweaking...
As an editor I seam to spend an awful lot of thyme going threw issues and checking that they're no oblivious errars. Its a tough job but someone's got too do it!



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Neve Tzedek
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Postby Neve Tzedek » Tue Mar 28, 2017 12:19 pm

Caracasus wrote:I like this idea. If the general idea is to focus on anorexia and other eating disorders can I suggest a change to the actual issue?

Instead of this

Description : After @@name@@ most famous clothing company has promoted its last lingerie collection featuring underweight female models with the word “Perfection” written just under the ad, several demonstrations have been held up in your country’s capital because the ad was found irresponsible.


Maybe this:

Description: After famous model and face of Visage clothing's Perfection range @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@ was rushed to hospital following health complications bought on by her low weight, numerous groups are calling for government intervention in the fashion industry.

Obviously needs some tweaking...


That's a great start, I really like it. I might develop something out of it, thank you very much.


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