[SUBMITTED] You Got Stones

[Abhichandra]

Title: You Got Stones

Description: A nation-wide contest was held about two months ago to see who could make the best sculpture, and the winner was promised to get a million @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@ from the richest citizen in @@NAME@@, @@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@. However, as more people lost interest in the sculptures, and didn't win, they left them abandon in backyards, crowded in front of bus stops, and collecting dust in streets. Now, a government meeting is being held to decide what to do with all the sculptures.

Validity: Valid for all nations

Option 1: "We can impersonate a museum!" says keyboard typist, @@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@. "I have it all figured out. There will be little plaques explaining what each sculpture is, we can get velvet ropes, everything! Not only is this a magnificent solution to this dilemma, but citizens can appreciate that art when they're going to work, while playing in the park, it's perfe- oh, well not perfect, because it will make the art more vulnerable to crime, and I suppose it just may get in the way of people. But who doesn't like art anywhere and everywhere they go?"

Fallout: tourists who want to visit art museums just simply take a walk in the park

Option 2: "No, no, no!," says angry investor, @@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@. "What we must do is sell. We must sell all these sculptures to citizens across @@NAME@@. And if it comes to a point where someone doesn't want to buy it, then we force them! We imprison them! And you may be asking: 'How does this help the situation?'. Because people have storage, and they may think they have cool sculptures in their houses when really they're just holding the governments' garbage. Look, @@LEADER@@. This is the only way to get rid-- I mean.... nicely give away these shapes of stone. Of course, we will sell with the artist's permission, but I'm almost certain they'll oblige because where else would they put them?"

Fallout: scared citizens buy at least 50 sculptures a day to keep from going to jail

Option 3: "I agree we should sell them, but to citizens overseas!," exclaims WhoTuber, @@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@, while he appears to be vlogging. "We can sell them for more, and it will spread our culture around the world! Sure, it will be really expensive for the shipping costs. But the profit will be really big, and soon @@NAME@@ will be known everywhere!"

Fallout: large shipments of sculptures are being hauled off to faraway countries

Option 4: "Look, you're both looking at it the wrong way," says the shyest citizen in @@NAME@@, @@RANDOMNAMEFEMALE@@, whom you never heard speak a word before. '"What we must do is make room at these museums. We crowd it together. We put stacks upon stacks upon stacks of art in all of the museums. We can even put it on the roof if we have to! Then, before you know it, everyone across @@REGION@@ will be flocking to the museums for hours a day to see these towers of art. Sure, this may increase angriness amongst the citizens because they'll be crowded in a room with about a hundred other people, but you know who benefits? That's right, the economy."

Fallout: museums are now packed with people trying to see art that's been stacked fifteen feet high

Option 5: "I agree with keeping the sculptures in museums, but the solution is quite simple," says game show host, @@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@. "The best solution to this is to create more museums. Tens, thousands, millions! Fill @@NAME@@ with museums. Not only will this allow more people to get access to the museums, but it will make @@NAME@@ a more industrial place to live in. Isn't that what you've ever dreamed of? Sure, we will have to make room for them by destroying some parks, libraries, and forests, but, if it's art, it's art.

Fallout: construction has begun for museums on every street

Option 6: "We should just bulldoze 'em," bluntly suggests bulldozer driver, @@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@ while eating a hotdog. "This is the simplest 'lution out there, and it minimizes the garbage in the streets. I'll I need is your permission, and a lot about 15 acres wide to start the smashing. I estimate the project be done, in bout' a few months. Sure, while my team is smashing the sculptures at nighttime, the citizens be angry 'cause we're causing lots of noise, but it gets the job done."

Fallout: huge sculptures are being smashed to bits at midnight

I am open to all suggestions to improve this issue

[Australian rePublic]

Welcome to Got Issues, it's always nice to see a new writer, especially one of your talent. But I am sorry, I don't see this issue working out. You could easily just build more art galleries, or make your current ones larger, also, option 2, why sell to private citizens? What about the poor? You could just sell to a foreign nation or an actual art collector. This seems to be overcomplicating something with a simple solution. Sorry. Don't let this discourage you, you're a greater writter

[Helaw]

But I am sorry, I don't see this issue working out. You could easily just build more art galleries, or make your current ones larger,

Aussie, that isn't grounds for telling someone to drop a draft. That's seriously a suggestion that you could give them in order to improve it.

So, to rephrase what Aussie said, I believe that an option along the lines of "Build a ridiculous number of museums!" might benefit the draft.

[Abhichandra]

But I am sorry, I don't see this issue working out. You could easily just build more art galleries, or make your current ones larger,

Aussie, that isn't grounds for telling someone to drop a draft. That's seriously a suggestion that you could give them in order to improve it.

So, to rephrase what Aussie said, I believe that an option along the lines of "Build a ridiculous number of museums!" might benefit the draft.

Alright, I'll add that shortly.

[Australian rePublic]

Oh no, I don't think tohat t8his issue should be dropped, at all, sorry for not making that clearer. It's a good issue

[Abhichandra]

Added option 4. Anything else?

[The Atlae Isles]

The effect for option 4 isn't drastic enough.

Maybe @@NAME@@ has approved construction for a museum on every street.

[Abhichandra]

The effect for option 4 isn't drastic enough.

Maybe @@NAME@@ has approved construction for a museum on every street.

Good idea!

[The Atlae Isles]

Oh, and the title should probably be better. The title's not really popping out to me at the moment.

EDIT: Sorry, I can't think of a title myself. If you don't want to improve it, fine with me.

[Abhichandra]

Oh, and the title should probably be better. The title's not really popping out to me at the moment.

EDIT: Sorry, I can't think of a title myself. If you don't want to improve it, fine with me.

Yeah, I was never too keen on the title myself. I will try to think of a new one.

EDIT: If anyone has an idea for a title or an idea to improve this draft, please tell me!

[Abhichandra]

Oh, and the title should probably be better. The title's not really popping out to me at the moment.

EDIT: Sorry, I can't think of a title myself. If you don't want to improve it, fine with me.

Yeah, I was never too keen on the title myself. I will try to think of a new one.

EDIT: If anyone has an idea for a title or an idea to improve this draft, please tell me!

Just changed the name. Is it good?

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Title ideas:

A Place For Stillness
Sculpting A Niche
You Got Stones

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Description: As art museums across @@NATION@@ become overcrowded with sculptures, sculptors are in a panic looking for new areas to store their sculptures. A risen debate has started amongst the citizens of what to do with them.

Premise wise, it seems we're missing part of the story, and that's been padded out with an extra line on the end.

I would suggest finding a reason why there are so many sculptures and putting that first, and then cutting the last sentence as superfluous. For example:

[desc]After TV-celebrity @@randomname@@ made the newspaper front pages by commissioning a marble statue of @@HIM@@self, @@HE@@ sparked a new fashion trend, and suddenly everyone was keen to have a self-portrait statue. That was two whole months ago though, and the fad has now died down, leaving @@NAME@@ with a glut of statues, abandoned on street corners, left in gardens to gather moss or simply fly-tipped by the motorway. Art museums across @@NAME@@ don't want or have room for them, so what should be done?

or

[desc]For about five years, bronze and marble statues seemed to be in fashion amongst both modern and traditional artists, and galleries and art museums ran exhibition after exhibition. However, trends change, and now they're looking to clear out some space, but feel a little bad about sending them to the garbage tip. Your advice is being sought on how to deal with the excess of statues.

Not saying either of those is what to go for, but what I'm getting at is that you need to start by establishing a strong framing narrative. If you're going to give us an off-the-wall wacky dilemma, then give us the story that gets us to that dilemma.

[Abhichandra]

Description: As art museums across @@NATION@@ become overcrowded with sculptures, sculptors are in a panic looking for new areas to store their sculptures. A risen debate has started amongst the citizens of what to do with them.

Premise wise, it seems we're missing part of the story, and that's been padded out with an extra line on the end.

I would suggest finding a reason why there are so many sculptures and putting that first, and then cutting the last sentence as superfluous. For example:

[desc]After TV-celebrity @@randomname@@ made the newspaper front pages by commissioning a marble statue of @@HIM@@self, @@HE@@ sparked a new fashion trend, and suddenly everyone was keen to have a self-portrait statue. That was two whole months ago though, and the fad has now died down, leaving @@NAME@@ with a glut of statues, abandoned on street corners, left in gardens to gather moss or simply fly-tipped by the motorway. Art museums across @@NAME@@ don't want or have room for them, so what should be done?

or

[desc]For about five years, bronze and marble statues seemed to be in fashion amongst both modern and traditional artists, and galleries and art museums ran exhibition after exhibition. However, trends change, and now they're looking to clear out some space, but feel a little bad about sending them to the garbage tip. Your advice is being sought on how to deal with the excess of statues.

Not saying either of those is what to go for, but what I'm getting at is that you need to start by establishing a strong framing narrative. If you're going to give us an off-the-wall wacky dilemma, then give us the story that gets us to that dilemma.

I'll use option 1.

[Abhichandra]

Changed description and changed title. Anything else?

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Oh yes, lots more. I'll come back to you tomorrow.

[Abhichandra]

Oh yes, lots more. I'll come back to you tomorrow.

Okay!

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Title: You Got Stones

Description: After TV-celebrity @@randomname@@ made the newspaper front pages by commissioning a marble statue of @@HIM@@self, @@HE@@ sparked a new fashion trend, and suddenly everyone was keen to have a self-portrait statue. That was two whole months ago though, and the fad has now died down, leaving @@NAME@@ with a glut of statues, abandoned on street corners, left in gardens to gather moss or simply fly-tipped by the motorway. Art museums across @@NAME@@ don't want or have room for them, so what should be done?

Okay, first thing here is that while you're welcome to all of the above, it may be worth taking back ownership of the issue by deleting the above, then rewriting it in your own words. It's just an authorship thing, and I don't want to be sneaking in extra issues into the game by ghostwriting them.

Option 1: "We must scatter them across @@NATION@@!," exclaims sculptor, @@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@ with his purple beret. "Not only is this a magnificent solution to this dilemma, but citizens can appreciate that art when they're going to work, while playing in the park, it's perfe- oh, well not perfect, because it will make the art more vulnerable to crime, and I suppose it just may get in the way of people. But who doesn't like art anywhere and everywhere they go?"

About halfway in, this option starts arguing against its own position. I really hate this, and consider it a sign of weak writing, as it shows that we're not seeing the speaker as a real person in the eye of imagination, but rather as a modality of transmitting information within an NS issue.

Would a speaker really directly list the points that undermine his own argument? Have each option argue its own merits, and leave pointing out the flaws to other speakers.

Fallout: @@NAME@@ is one big art museum

Hmm, you got the right idea, of describing consequence rather than decision, but this doesn't have much funny.

Option 2: "No, no, no!," says angry investor, @@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@, whispering in your ear. "What we must do is sell. We must sell all these sculptures to citizens across @@REGION@@. And if it comes to a point where someone doesn't want to buy it, then we force them! We imprison them! Look, @@LEADER@@. This is the only way to get rid-- I mean.... nicely give away these shapes of marble."

Why two different verbs for the speaker? Either say, or whisper, you can't do both at once. And if we're whispering, punctuate and write as if whispering.

Also, this is kind of a weak option, as the sculptures aren't the governments property to sell, and it just makes no damn sense anyway.

Fallout: citizens are now forced to buy art or risk being fined

Bad in lots of ways. First, it describes a decision not a consequence. Second, it's not even the decision we just made. We were imprisoning, not fining, remember?

Option 3: "Look, you're both looking at it the wrong way," says the shyest citizen in @@REGION@@, @@RANDOMNAMEFEMALE@@, whom you never heard speak a word before. '"What we must do is make room at these museums. We crowd it together. We put stacks upon stacks upon stacks of art in all of the museums. We can even put it on the roof if we have to! Then, before you know it, everyone across @@REGION@@ will be flocking to the museums for hours a day to see these towers of art. Sure, this may increase angriness amongst the citizens because they'll be crowded in a room with about a hundred other people, but you know who benefits? That's right, the economy."

Fallout: museums are now packed with people trying to see art that's been stacked fifteen feet high

Decent enough. Could use some fine tuning and trimming and tweaking (I mean, angriness as the noun for being angry? really?), but its the most coherent option at present.

Option 4:: "I agree with keeping the sculptures in museums, but the solution is quite simple," says game show host, @@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@. "The best solution to this is to create more museums. Tens, thousands, millions! Fill @@NAME@@ with museums. Not only will this allow more people to get access to the museums, but it will make @@NAME@@ a more industrial place to live in. Isn't that what you've ever dreamed of? Sure, we will have to make room for them by destroying some parks, libraries, and forests, but, if it's art, it's art.

Fallout: @@NAME@@ has approved construction for a museum on every street

What has happened here is that you've changed the premise as suggested, but not the options. If the issue is now insufficient DEMAND for statues, then creating more museums doesn't help this, or at the very least, the effect line should reference thousands of museums that nobody ever visits.

[Australian rePublic]

Option 2, I don't think you should force private citizens to buy. You can just sell overseas, and give away part of your nation's heritage and culture

[Abhichandra]

Option 2, I don't think you should force private citizens to buy. You can just sell overseas, and give away part of your nation's heritage and culture

I might make a 5th option for this later today.

[USS Monitor]

It's a good idea to avoid effect lines that start with @@NAME@@ because it looks awkward in your national activity feed when it says "Following new legislation in @@NAME@@, [effect line]."

[Abhichandra]

It's a good idea to avoid effect lines that start with @@NAME@@ because it looks awkward in your national activity feed when it says "Following new legislation in @@NAME@@, [effect line]."

Very true, but I am not sure how else to phrase it.

[Abhichandra]

Added another option

[USS Monitor]

It's a good idea to avoid effect lines that start with @@NAME@@ because it looks awkward in your national activity feed when it says "Following new legislation in @@NAME@@, [effect line]."

Very true, but I am not sure how else to phrase it.

Mull it over for a while. See if anything comes to you. If you still can't think of anything, make it the editors' problem.

[Abhichandra]

Okay, first thing here is that while you're welcome to all of the above, it may be worth taking back ownership of the issue by deleting the above, then rewriting it in your own words. It's just an authorship thing, and I don't want to be sneaking in extra issues into the game by ghostwriting them.

Fixed.

About halfway in, this option starts arguing against its own position. I really hate this, and consider it a sign of weak writing, as it shows that we're not seeing the speaker as a real person in the eye of imagination, but rather as a modality of transmitting information within an NS issue.

Would a speaker really directly list the points that undermine his own argument? Have each option argue its own merits, and leave pointing out the flaws to other speakers.

Fixed.

Hmm, you got the right idea, of describing consequence rather than decision, but this doesn't have much funny.

Sort of fixed.

Why two different verbs for the speaker? Either say, or whisper, you can't do both at once. And if we're whispering, punctuate and write as if whispering.

Also, this is kind of a weak option, as the sculptures aren't the governments property to sell, and it just makes no damn sense anyway.

Fixed.

Bad in lots of ways. First, it describes a decision not a consequence. Second, it's not even the decision we just made. We were imprisoning, not fining, remember?

Sort of fixed.

What has happened here is that you've changed the premise as suggested, but not the options. If the issue is now insufficient DEMAND for statues, then creating more museums doesn't help this, or at the very least, the effect line should reference thousands of museums that nobody ever visits.

It's not that there is an insufficient demand for statues, it's that there's too many, and there needs to be more museums to hold all of them.