[SUBMITTED] Punching Above Your Weight

[The United Providences of Perland]

Description: A study done by the Ministry of Health showed that wrestlers across @@NAME@@ have been using risky weight loss plans to keep their weight classes the same over the season of the sport. Parents, doctors, and some sports officials have spoken out against this new habit as unhealthy and dangerous. The lot of these concerned citizens have wrestled past security with headlocks and arm breakers to give their stance on the matter.

Validity: Valid for nations with sports

Debate:

[option]"Frankly this practice is appalling," states @@RANDOMNAMEFEMALE@@, a concerned mother of two chubby children locking on to her legs furiously. "Children shouldn't skip meals just to stay in an ignorant classification of weight. My children would never do that, and they're perfectly healthy! Plus, following matches these wrestlers binge food because they're hungry; I'm sure that doesn't help them either. What you need to do is put restrictions on weight classes and wrestling as a sport; let's put this stupid trend in a headlock!"
[effect]banquets have become part of the wrestling status quo

[option]"It's my body and my sport," retorts a minuscule, 85 pound teen named @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Look, if I go over my weight class slightly I'll end up getting pummeled by some brute that weighs 15 pounds more than I do. My coach says it's fine to miss a few meals to keep in class, so who cares? If my coach and fellow athletes say it's ok, and practice it, it can't hurt me. Let's just ignore this issue and let the proud sport of wrestling keep its practices. Here, have some tickets to my next match!"
[effect]there is no gain without hunger pain

[option]"Wait, there is a compromise to be made here," remarks Dulk Mogon, a pro wrestling star. "Obviously kids going without food is terrible, but adults can surely handle it! There is a big difference between a thirteen year old in a club, and an expert like me in the professional leagues. I think I can handle dieting and meal strategy, but kids can be dumb and usually aren't good at making health decisions. Just ban children from using these weight cheats and let the real wrestlers handle it.
[effect]teens health needs are soothed while adults wrestle with dietetics

[Drasnia]

Description: A study done by the Ministry of Health showed that wrestlers across @@NAME@@ have been starving themselves to keep their weight classes the same over the season of the sport. Parents, doctors, and some sports officials have spoken out against this new habit as unhealthy and dangerous. The lot of these concerned citizens have come to your office seeking and conclusion on the matter.

Validity: Valid for all nations (?)

Debate:

[option]"Frankly this practice is just appalling," states @@RANDOMNAMEFEMALE@@, a concerned mother of two. "Children shouldn't skip meals just to stay in an ignorant classification of weight. My children would never do that, and they're perfectly healthy! Plus, after a match these wrestlers binge food because they're deathly hungry. So I'm sure that doesn't help them either. What you need to do @@LEADER@@ is put restrictions on weight classes and wrestling as a sport; let's put this stupid trend in a headlock!"
[effect]children breaking their legs while wrestling is perfectly accepted while food needs are held sacred

[option]"It's my body and my sport," retorts a thinning teen named @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Look, if I go over my weight class slightly I'll end up getting pumled by some brute that weighs 15 pounds more than I do. My coach says it's fine to miss a few meals to keep in class so who cares? I may skip dinner and lunch sometimes but it's not like I have a disease or something. Let's just ignore this issue and let the proud sport of wrestling keep its practices. Here, have some tickets to my next game!"
[effect]starvation is caused by willpower in @NAME@@

Should be valid only for nations with sports.

The title is too close to World Assembly Woes.

Perhaps instead of just starving, say that they've resorted to several weight loss strategies including starvation and bulimia. It'd make a lot more comprehensive.

In option one, why is it just about children? When you said wrestlers were starving, I was thinking of people like Macho Man Randy Savage and Hollywood Hulk Hogan. There's actually an interesting idea in that option as a compromise: make it illegal for children to starve themselves etc. while still allowing the adults to do so. Play it right and it could be quite good.

You've got a spelling error in 2: it should be "pummeled". This is a lot better than option 1 as it stands. I like the idea behind the effect line, but it could be executed better, something along the lines of "people starve but not for lack of food." Remember, effects go after "Following new legislation in @@NAME@@" so usually @@NAME@@ in the line is redundant.

[The United Providences of Perland]

Description: A study done by the Ministry of Health showed that wrestlers across @@NAME@@ have been starving themselves to keep their weight classes the same over the season of the sport. Parents, doctors, and some sports officials have spoken out against this new habit as unhealthy and dangerous. The lot of these concerned citizens have come to your office seeking and conclusion on the matter.

Validity: Valid for all nations (?)

Debate:

[option]"Frankly this practice is just appalling," states @@RANDOMNAMEFEMALE@@, a concerned mother of two. "Children shouldn't skip meals just to stay in an ignorant classification of weight. My children would never do that, and they're perfectly healthy! Plus, after a match these wrestlers binge food because they're deathly hungry. So I'm sure that doesn't help them either. What you need to do @@LEADER@@ is put restrictions on weight classes and wrestling as a sport; let's put this stupid trend in a headlock!"
[effect]children breaking their legs while wrestling is perfectly accepted while food needs are held sacred

[option]"It's my body and my sport," retorts a thinning teen named @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Look, if I go over my weight class slightly I'll end up getting pumled by some brute that weighs 15 pounds more than I do. My coach says it's fine to miss a few meals to keep in class so who cares? I may skip dinner and lunch sometimes but it's not like I have a disease or something. Let's just ignore this issue and let the proud sport of wrestling keep its practices. Here, have some tickets to my next game!"
[effect]starvation is caused by willpower in @NAME@@

Should be valid only for nations with sports.

The title is too close to World Assembly Woes.

Perhaps instead of just starving, say that they've resorted to several weight loss strategies including starvation and bulimia. It'd make a lot more comprehensive.

In option one, why is it just about children? When you said wrestlers were starving, I was thinking of people like Macho Man Randy Savage and Hollywood Hulk Hogan. There's actually an interesting idea in that option as a compromise: make it illegal for children to starve themselves etc. while still allowing the adults to do so. Play it right and it could be quite good.

You've got a spelling error in 2: it should be "pummeled". This is a lot better than option 1 as it stands. I like the idea behind the effect line, but it could be executed better, something along the lines of "people starve but not for lack of food." Remember, effects go after "Following new legislation in @@NAME@@" so usually @@NAME@@ in the line is redundant.

Added the compromise option, fixed the name, and fixed the grammar mistake. I also reworked the effect line for two, does it seem better?

[Helaw]

Description: A study done by the Ministry of Health showed that wrestlers across @@NAME@@ have been using risky weight loss plans to keep their weight classes the same over the season of the sport. Parents, doctors, and some sports officials have spoken out against this new habit as unhealthy and dangerous. The lot of these concerned citizens have come to your office seeking and conclusion on the matter.

This premise is interesting. However, ask yourself how these concerned citizens got here; did they wrestle your security to the ground, maybe?

[option]"Frankly this practice is just appalling," states @@RANDOMNAMEFEMALE@@, a concerned mother of two.

Yes, she is a concerned mother of two; but where are the children? Are they tagging along with her in your office? Adding context which serves as both humour and idea development is key, and I would advise that you apply this logic to the other options also.

Plus, after a match these wrestlers binge food because they're deathly hungry. So I'm sure that doesn't help them either.

This could do with being rewritten to be a single sentence.

What you need to do @@LEADER@@ is put restrictions on weight classes and wrestling as a sport; let's put this stupid trend in a headlock!"

I disagree with @@LEADER@@ being referenced by name here.

[effect]children breaking their legs while wrestling is perfectly accepted while food needs are held sacred

This effect line seems a bit too long. What it needs to be is short and dense; packed with humour in the few words it has.

My coach says it's fine to miss a few meals to keep in class, so who cares?

I've added a comma in red here.

I may skip dinner and lunch sometimes but it's not like I have a disease or something.

I feel that the part highlighted in red is a bit jarring. It could be replaced with a more humorous gag.

[effect]starvation is ironically caused by a lack of care

I like the idea of this effect line, but the latter half lets it down somewhat. "Lack of care" should probably be changed to something else.

[option]"Wait wait, there is a compromise to be made here,"

Doesn't need the second 'wait'.

reminds Dulk Mogon, a pro wrestling star.

While my earlier point regarding these parts still applies, 'reminds' particularly does not make sense here.

and a pro like me in the professional leagues.

Either 'pro' or 'professional' should be changed here, as they both mean the same thing.

[effect]once people reach adulthood in the nation their health needs are irrelevant

This is quite broad and doesn't deal with the subject matter with enough precision. If it were more focused on the argument at hand, it would be much better.

All in all, I like your use of this premise.

[The United Providences of Perland]

Description: A study done by the Ministry of Health showed that wrestlers across @@NAME@@ have been using risky weight loss plans to keep their weight classes the same over the season of the sport. Parents, doctors, and some sports officials have spoken out against this new habit as unhealthy and dangerous. The lot of these concerned citizens have come to your office seeking and conclusion on the matter.

This premise is interesting. However, ask yourself how these concerned citizens got here; did they wrestle your security to the ground, maybe?

[option]"Frankly this practice is just appalling," states @@RANDOMNAMEFEMALE@@, a concerned mother of two.

Yes, she is a concerned mother of two; but where are the children? Are they tagging along with her in your office? Adding context which serves as both humour and idea development is key, and I would advise that you apply this logic to the other options also.

Plus, after a match these wrestlers binge food because they're deathly hungry. So I'm sure that doesn't help them either.

This could do with being rewritten to be a single sentence.

What you need to do @@LEADER@@ is put restrictions on weight classes and wrestling as a sport; let's put this stupid trend in a headlock!"

I disagree with @@LEADER@@ being referenced by name here.

[effect]children breaking their legs while wrestling is perfectly accepted while food needs are held sacred

This effect line seems a bit too long. What it needs to be is short and dense; packed with humour in the few words it has.

My coach says it's fine to miss a few meals to keep in class, so who cares?

I've added a comma in red here.

I may skip dinner and lunch sometimes but it's not like I have a disease or something.

I feel that the part highlighted in red is a bit jarring. It could be replaced with a more humorous gag.

[effect]starvation is ironically caused by a lack of care

I like the idea of this effect line, but the latter half lets it down somewhat. "Lack of care" should probably be changed to something else.

[option]"Wait wait, there is a compromise to be made here,"

Doesn't need the second 'wait'.

reminds Dulk Mogon, a pro wrestling star.

While my earlier point regarding these parts still applies, 'reminds' particularly does not make sense here.

and a pro like me in the professional leagues.

Either 'pro' or 'professional' should be changed here, as they both mean the same thing.

[effect]once people reach adulthood in the nation their health needs are irrelevant

This is quite broad and doesn't deal with the subject matter with enough precision. If it were more focused on the argument at hand, it would be much better.

All in all, I like your use of this premise.

Ok, all grammar things have been corrected. I also fixed the morbid parts, slightly As for the issues with effect lines, I have rewritten them. However, your opinion on #3's new one would be appreciated. Congrats on IE-dom and thanks for taking the time to comment!

[Helaw]

How about 'Punching Above Your Weight' as a title?

The lot of these concerned citizens have launched into your office via the cords from a wrestling ring to your office seeking and conclusion on the matter.

While this provides contextually relevant humour, it seems unfeasible. I would recommend replacing it.

[option]"Frankly, this practice is just appalling," states @@RANDOMNAMEFEMALE@@, a concerned mother of two curiously fat children. "Kids shouldn't skip meals just to stay in an ignorant classification of weight. My children would never do that, and they're perfectly healthy! Plus, following matches these wrestlers binge food because they're deathly hungry; so I'm sure that doesn't help them either. What you need to do is put restrictions on weight classes and wrestling as a sport; let's put this stupid trend in a headlock!"

Punctuation to add / misspellings that I have corrected in red, things to remove or replace in blue, other changes I've made in orange.

[effect]sports hospitalizations are nothing compared to forgotten meals

See, my current gripe with this effect line is that it's explicitly describing the situation without a twist. When you break it down, it says "Being injured isn't as important as not eating", which is a perfectly good base idea to have for the effect, but it should be executed in a different manner.

retorts a thinning teen named @@RANDOMNAME@@.

They're thinning, yes, but could this be expressed in the form of a funny and relevant description?

"Look, if I go over my weight class slightly I'll end up getting pummelled by some brute that weighs 15 pounds more than I do. My coach says it's fine to miss a few meals to keep in class, so who cares? I may skip dinner and lunch sometimes but it's not like I'm wrestling with my health here. Let's just ignore this issue and let the proud sport of wrestling keep its practices. Here, have some tickets to my next game!"

The part I've highlighted in green is odd. It repeats the same point but with different reasoning, so it may benefit from being reworked into one sentence or changed altogether.

[effect]starvation is ironically caused by a lack of logic

This doesn't really solve the problem that I had previously, as it simply changes a single word. The entire second half could be improved by changing it to a more humorous point. If you feel that you cannot work with the first part to accomplish this, then feel free to alter or remove that also.

[effect]the well being of the majority population is irrelevant

Suffers the same problem that I specified before. It is now arguably broader than it was.

Why not an option to remove weight classes from the equation entirely?

[Abhichandra]

Description: A study done by the Ministry of Health showed that wrestlers across @@NAME@@ have been using risky weight loss plans to keep their weight classes the same over the season of the sport. Parents, doctors, and some sports officials have spoken out against this new habit as unhealthy and dangerous. The lot of these concerned citizens have launched into your office via the cords from a wrestling ring to your office seeking and conclusion on the matter.

Validity: Valid for nations with sports

Debate:

[option]"Frankly this practice is just appalling," states @@RANDOMNAMEFEMALE@@, a concerned mother of two children biting at her ankles "Children shouldn't skip meals just to stay in an ignorant classification of weight. My children would never do that, and they're perfectly healthy! Plus, after a match these wrestlers binge food because they're deathly hungry; so I'm sure that doesn't help them either. What you need to do is put restrictions on weight classes and wrestling as a sport; let's put this stupid trend in a headlock!"
[effect]sports hospitalizations are nothing compared to forgotten meals

[option]"It's my body and my sport," retorts a thinning teen named @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Look, if I go over my weight class slightly I'll end up getting pummeled by some brute that weighs 15 pounds more than I do. My coach says it's fine to miss a few meals to keep in class, so who cares? I may skip dinner and lunch sometimes but it's not like I'm wrestling with my health here. Let's just ignore this issue and let the proud sport of wrestling keep its practices. Here, have some tickets to my next game!"
[effect]starvation is ironically caused by a lack of logic

[option]"Wait, there is a compromise to be made here," remarks Dulk Mogon, a pro wrestling star. "Obviously kids going without food is terrible, but adults can surely handle it! There is a big difference between a thirteen year old in a club, and an expert like me in the professional leagues. I think I can handle dieting and meal strategy, but kids can be dumb and usually aren't good at making health decisions. Just ban children from using these weight cheats and let the real wrestlers handle it.
[effect]the well being of the majority population is irrelevant

Overall, this issue is great! But two things:
1.) In the description, you could include how they are losing weight
2.) At the end of option two, it's a match not a game

[The United Providences of Perland]

How about 'Punching Above Your Weight' as a title?

The lot of these concerned citizens have launched into your office via the cords from a wrestling ring to your office seeking and conclusion on the matter.

While this provides contextually relevant humour, it seems unfeasible. I would recommend replacing it.

[option]"Frankly, this practice is just appalling," states @@RANDOMNAMEFEMALE@@, a concerned mother of two curiously fat children. "Kids shouldn't skip meals just to stay in an ignorant classification of weight. My children would never do that, and they're perfectly healthy! Plus, following matches these wrestlers binge food because they're deathly hungry; so I'm sure that doesn't help them either. What you need to do is put restrictions on weight classes and wrestling as a sport; let's put this stupid trend in a headlock!"

Punctuation to add / misspellings that I have corrected in red, things to remove or replace in blue, other changes I've made in orange.

[effect]sports hospitalizations are nothing compared to forgotten meals

See, my current gripe with this effect line is that it's explicitly describing the situation without a twist. When you break it down, it says "Being injured isn't as important as not eating", which is a perfectly good base idea to have for the effect, but it should be executed in a different manner.

retorts a thinning teen named @@RANDOMNAME@@.

They're thinning, yes, but could this be expressed in the form of a funny and relevant description?

"Look, if I go over my weight class slightly I'll end up getting pummelled by some brute that weighs 15 pounds more than I do. My coach says it's fine to miss a few meals to keep in class, so who cares? I may skip dinner and lunch sometimes but it's not like I'm wrestling with my health here. Let's just ignore this issue and let the proud sport of wrestling keep its practices. Here, have some tickets to my next game!"

The part I've highlighted in green is odd. It repeats the same point but with different reasoning, so it may benefit from being reworked into one sentence or changed altogether.

[effect]starvation is ironically caused by a lack of logic

This doesn't really solve the problem that I had previously, as it simply changes a single word. The entire second half could be improved by changing it to a more humorous point. If you feel that you cannot work with the first part to accomplish this, then feel free to alter or remove that also.

[effect]the well being of the majority population is irrelevant

Suffers the same problem that I specified before. It is now arguably broader than it was.

Why not an option to remove weight classes from the equation entirely?

Grammar is fixed (auto correct says it is spelled "pummeled"). The effect lines have been tweaked as well. The description is also edited. As for adding an option to end weight classes, I'm thinking on it.

[The United Providences of Perland]

Description: A study done by the Ministry of Health showed that wrestlers across @@NAME@@ have been using risky weight loss plans to keep their weight classes the same over the season of the sport. Parents, doctors, and some sports officials have spoken out against this new habit as unhealthy and dangerous. The lot of these concerned citizens have launched into your office via the cords from a wrestling ring to your office seeking and conclusion on the matter.

Validity: Valid for nations with sports

Debate:

[option]"Frankly this practice is just appalling," states @@RANDOMNAMEFEMALE@@, a concerned mother of two children biting at her ankles "Children shouldn't skip meals just to stay in an ignorant classification of weight. My children would never do that, and they're perfectly healthy! Plus, after a match these wrestlers binge food because they're deathly hungry; so I'm sure that doesn't help them either. What you need to do is put restrictions on weight classes and wrestling as a sport; let's put this stupid trend in a headlock!"
[effect]sports hospitalizations are nothing compared to forgotten meals

[option]"It's my body and my sport," retorts a thinning teen named @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Look, if I go over my weight class slightly I'll end up getting pummeled by some brute that weighs 15 pounds more than I do. My coach says it's fine to miss a few meals to keep in class, so who cares? I may skip dinner and lunch sometimes but it's not like I'm wrestling with my health here. Let's just ignore this issue and let the proud sport of wrestling keep its practices. Here, have some tickets to my next game!"
[effect]starvation is ironically caused by a lack of logic

[option]"Wait, there is a compromise to be made here," remarks Dulk Mogon, a pro wrestling star. "Obviously kids going without food is terrible, but adults can surely handle it! There is a big difference between a thirteen year old in a club, and an expert like me in the professional leagues. I think I can handle dieting and meal strategy, but kids can be dumb and usually aren't good at making health decisions. Just ban children from using these weight cheats and let the real wrestlers handle it.
[effect]the well being of the majority population is irrelevant

Overall, this issue is great! But two things:
1.) In the description, you could include how they are losing weight
2.) At the end of option two, it's a match not a game

Fixed option two. As for the description, I believe leaving it up to the reader to think of their own wacky ways fits better.

[Helaw]

Grammar is fixed (auto correct says it is spelled "pummeled"). The effect lines have been tweaked as well. The description is also edited. As for adding an option to end weight classes, I'm thinking on it.

Much better! I quite like the effect for the second option now. As for 'pummeled', perhaps it is a regional difference. I will return to this later, and let others weigh in.

[The United Providences of Perland]

Grammar is fixed (auto correct says it is spelled "pummeled"). The effect lines have been tweaked as well. The description is also edited. As for adding an option to end weight classes, I'm thinking on it.

Much better! I quite like the effect for the second option now. As for 'pummeled', perhaps it is a regional difference. I will return to this later, and let others weigh in.

Great, thanks for the help!

[Australian rePublic]

Is there any reason why this is limited to wrestling?

[The United Providences of Perland]

Is there any reason why this is limited to wrestling?

Well, this is a huge problem in the sport, and I wish to tread carefully with sports because a few of them are debated in other issues.

[The United Providences of Perland]

Bump.

[Helaw]

I did previously suggest a new title, here:

How about 'Punching Above Your Weight' as a title?

In terms of the first option, I didn't anticipate that you'd retain the 'biting at her ankles' part. If you really want to keep that general idea, you could change it to something more wrestling-related.

[The United Providences of Perland]

I did previously suggest a new title, here:

How about 'Punching Above Your Weight' as a title?

In terms of the first option, I didn't anticipate that you'd retain the 'biting at her ankles' part. If you really want to keep that general idea, you could change it to something more wrestling-related.

Name adapted, and tweaked Option One.

[USS Monitor]

How would you actually enforce this if you banned people fasting to get their weight down? Is there going to be a government-mandated meal plan or something? That could get really weirdly authoritarian.

[The United Providences of Perland]

How would you actually enforce this if you banned people fasting to get their weight down? Is there going to be a government-mandated meal plan or something? That could get really weirdly authoritarian.

Likely a ban on dietetics mostly, probably some awareness campaigns.

[The United Providences of Perland]

Does this look good to submit?