NATION

PASSWORD

OSCAR MAYER IS PEOPLE! IT'S PEOPLE!!

For discussion and debate about anything. (Not a roleplay related forum; out-of-character commentary only.)
User avatar
Gauthier
Khan of Spam
 
Posts: 52887
Founded: Antiquity
Ex-Nation

OSCAR MAYER IS PEOPLE! IT'S PEOPLE!!

Postby Gauthier » Mon Oct 26, 2015 10:12 pm

Report: Human DNA found in hot dogs

A study conducted by a food lab on several hundred varieties of hot dogs revealed a shocking discovery: 14% had issues with sanitation or ingredients, and 2% of them contained human DNA.

I mean, for all the jokes about vermin meat being the primary ingredients of hot dogs at least the idea of eating rodent is comparatively more palatable than possible cannibalism, however miniscule. Great, the last thing I want to worry about when having a hot dog is prion infection.




At this point a few vegetarians are probably all smug about their dietary choices.

And then the same report reveals that not only 2/3rds of the vegetarian hot dogs samples also contained human DNA, 10% of the vegetarian dogs actually contained traces of meat and 67% of the hygienic problems in the report originated from the vegetarian dogs.

My god, it's like you have to practically grow, wash and prepare your own food if you want to minimize the chance of taking in something unappealing or even potentially hazardous to your health. Is this problem relatively isolated to hot dogs, or will there be other surprises just as queasy in store with other food products that humanity generally consumes?
Crimes committed by Muslims will be a pan-Islamic plot and proof of Islam's inherent evil. On the other hand crimes committed by non-Muslims will merely be the acts of loners who do not represent their belief system at all.
The probability of one's participation in homosexual acts is directly proportional to one's public disdain and disgust for homosexuals.
If a political figure makes an accusation of wrongdoing without evidence, odds are probable that the accuser or an associate thereof has in fact committed the very same act, possibly to a worse degree.
Where is your God-Emperor now?

User avatar
Rusozak
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1468
Founded: Jun 14, 2015
Father Knows Best State

Postby Rusozak » Mon Oct 26, 2015 10:20 pm

But how much are we talking per hot dog? It's not like someone lost a finger. Human DNA is literally on every single object we interact with. Compared to early 20th century processes, it's as clean as surgical equipment.
Last edited by Rusozak on Mon Oct 26, 2015 10:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.
NOTE: This nation's government style, policies, and opinions in roleplay or forum 7 does not represent my true beliefs. It is purely for the enjoyment of the game.

User avatar
UAWC
Negotiator
 
Posts: 5045
Founded: Oct 24, 2009
Ex-Nation

Postby UAWC » Mon Oct 26, 2015 10:23 pm

Gauthier wrote:
My god, it's like you have to practically grow, wash and prepare your own food if you want to minimize the chance of taking in something unappealing or even potentially hazardous to your health.


That's what it comes down to, at the end of the day. It's most certainly not an issue isolated to hot dogs.

Granted, not everyone can afford to just start a garden. Most people can't, actually.
Political Compass:
Economic Left/Right: -9.5
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -5.59
Genderqueer political nihilist and misanthrope.
The only way to fix it is to flush it all away.
LOVEWHOYOUARE~

User avatar
New Werpland
Senator
 
Posts: 4647
Founded: Dec 11, 2014
Ex-Nation

Postby New Werpland » Mon Oct 26, 2015 10:29 pm

This must be the Bernd Jürgen Armando Brandes brand of hot dog.

User avatar
Gauthier
Khan of Spam
 
Posts: 52887
Founded: Antiquity
Ex-Nation

Postby Gauthier » Mon Oct 26, 2015 10:31 pm

UAWC wrote:
Gauthier wrote:
My god, it's like you have to practically grow, wash and prepare your own food if you want to minimize the chance of taking in something unappealing or even potentially hazardous to your health.


That's what it comes down to, at the end of the day. It's most certainly not an issue isolated to hot dogs.

Granted, not everyone can afford to just start a garden. Most people can't, actually.


And for people who aren't affluent hipsters, how can they be guaranteed realistically affordable shots at the purest food possible?
Crimes committed by Muslims will be a pan-Islamic plot and proof of Islam's inherent evil. On the other hand crimes committed by non-Muslims will merely be the acts of loners who do not represent their belief system at all.
The probability of one's participation in homosexual acts is directly proportional to one's public disdain and disgust for homosexuals.
If a political figure makes an accusation of wrongdoing without evidence, odds are probable that the accuser or an associate thereof has in fact committed the very same act, possibly to a worse degree.
Where is your God-Emperor now?

User avatar
Washington Resistance Army
Post Czar
 
Posts: 37633
Founded: Aug 08, 2011
Father Knows Best State

Postby Washington Resistance Army » Mon Oct 26, 2015 10:32 pm

Sounds tasty.
Angry American who likes guns and trees
Islamophobia is a virtue
Australian gun control didn't work. A rebuttal to the "well regulated militia" argument.

User avatar
Liberty and Linguistics
Senator
 
Posts: 4565
Founded: Jan 09, 2015
Ex-Nation

Postby Liberty and Linguistics » Mon Oct 26, 2015 10:32 pm

Alright, Alex Jones.

But, jokes aside, it makes sense. Humans came into contact with the food. It's not like there are fucking human parts in Oscar Meyer.
I am: Cynic, Depressive, Junior in HS, Arizonan, Sarcastic, Wannabe Psychologist, Lover of Cinema and Rum.


Ziggy played guitar....
For ISIS | On Israel and its settlements | Flat Taxes are beneficial for all | OOC, Baby | Probably Accurate.

User avatar
Anagonia
Minister
 
Posts: 2386
Founded: Dec 18, 2003
New York Times Democracy

Postby Anagonia » Mon Oct 26, 2015 10:32 pm

And this is the point where we laugh at anyone who finds this disgusting. Well, "we" is relative. Survival of the fittest. Only true Americans eat hot dogs. Even if it is made of people!

Now go cry in a corner!

User avatar
UAWC
Negotiator
 
Posts: 5045
Founded: Oct 24, 2009
Ex-Nation

Postby UAWC » Mon Oct 26, 2015 10:33 pm

Gauthier wrote:
UAWC wrote:
That's what it comes down to, at the end of the day. It's most certainly not an issue isolated to hot dogs.

Granted, not everyone can afford to just start a garden. Most people can't, actually.


And for people who aren't affluent hipsters, how can they be guaranteed realistically affordable shots at the purest food possible?


Completely serious answer? Hunting and gathering. That's really all we can do at this point...and I do advocate a large-scale return to that lifestyle. It's the best thing for our health, it's the best way to prevent the wide-scale oppression of livestock, and it's the best thing for the planet.
Last edited by UAWC on Mon Oct 26, 2015 10:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Political Compass:
Economic Left/Right: -9.5
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -5.59
Genderqueer political nihilist and misanthrope.
The only way to fix it is to flush it all away.
LOVEWHOYOUARE~

User avatar
Gauthier
Khan of Spam
 
Posts: 52887
Founded: Antiquity
Ex-Nation

Postby Gauthier » Mon Oct 26, 2015 10:36 pm

UAWC wrote:
Gauthier wrote:
And for people who aren't affluent hipsters, how can they be guaranteed realistically affordable shots at the purest food possible?


Completely serious answer? Hunting and gathering. That's really all we can do at this point...and I do advocate a large-scale return to that lifestyle. It's the best thing for our health, it's the best way to prevent the wide-scale oppression of livestock, and it's the best thing for the planet.


Low income city dwellers are still shit out of luck, unless you're suggesting they hunt rodents and pigeons.
Crimes committed by Muslims will be a pan-Islamic plot and proof of Islam's inherent evil. On the other hand crimes committed by non-Muslims will merely be the acts of loners who do not represent their belief system at all.
The probability of one's participation in homosexual acts is directly proportional to one's public disdain and disgust for homosexuals.
If a political figure makes an accusation of wrongdoing without evidence, odds are probable that the accuser or an associate thereof has in fact committed the very same act, possibly to a worse degree.
Where is your God-Emperor now?

User avatar
Liberty and Linguistics
Senator
 
Posts: 4565
Founded: Jan 09, 2015
Ex-Nation

Postby Liberty and Linguistics » Mon Oct 26, 2015 10:38 pm

Gauthier wrote:
UAWC wrote:
Completely serious answer? Hunting and gathering. That's really all we can do at this point...and I do advocate a large-scale return to that lifestyle. It's the best thing for our health, it's the best way to prevent the wide-scale oppression of livestock, and it's the best thing for the planet.


Low income city dwellers are still shit out of luck, unless you're suggesting they hunt rodents and pigeons.


Why not? It worked in Victorian England.
I am: Cynic, Depressive, Junior in HS, Arizonan, Sarcastic, Wannabe Psychologist, Lover of Cinema and Rum.


Ziggy played guitar....
For ISIS | On Israel and its settlements | Flat Taxes are beneficial for all | OOC, Baby | Probably Accurate.

User avatar
UAWC
Negotiator
 
Posts: 5045
Founded: Oct 24, 2009
Ex-Nation

Postby UAWC » Mon Oct 26, 2015 10:55 pm

Gauthier wrote:
UAWC wrote:
Completely serious answer? Hunting and gathering. That's really all we can do at this point...and I do advocate a large-scale return to that lifestyle. It's the best thing for our health, it's the best way to prevent the wide-scale oppression of livestock, and it's the best thing for the planet.


Low income city dwellers are still shit out of luck, unless you're suggesting they hunt rodents and pigeons.


...which is illegal.

So, yeah, low income city dwellers (which is a lot of fucking people) are shit out of luck. I was, however, advocating something much more wide-scale, though I have no plan and no idea how it could happen.
Political Compass:
Economic Left/Right: -9.5
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -5.59
Genderqueer political nihilist and misanthrope.
The only way to fix it is to flush it all away.
LOVEWHOYOUARE~

User avatar
Russo-Byzantine Empire
Diplomat
 
Posts: 674
Founded: Nov 04, 2014
Ex-Nation

Postby Russo-Byzantine Empire » Mon Oct 26, 2015 11:55 pm

Good thing I don't eat hot dogs I guess.
I am a: monarchist, feminist, humanist, democratic socialist
Republics are never the answer!

User avatar
The Alexanderians
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 12558
Founded: Oct 03, 2010
Ex-Nation

Postby The Alexanderians » Tue Oct 27, 2015 12:15 am

Halal is looking good now huh France?
Galloism wrote:Or we can go with feminism doesn't exist. We all imagined it. Collectively.
You can't fight the friction
Women belong in the kitchen
Men belong in the kitchen
Everyone belongs in the kitchen
Kitchen has food
I have brought dishonor to my gaming clan
Achesia wrote:Threads like this is why I need to stop coming to NSG....

Marethian Lupanar of Teladre wrote:A bright and cheerful mountain village of chapel-goers~

The Archregimancy wrote:
Hagia Sophia is best church.

Major-Tom wrote:Why am I full of apathy?

I'm just here to be the peanut gallery
уσυ нανєи'т gσт тнє fυℓℓ єffє¢т


User avatar
Costa Fierro
Post Marshal
 
Posts: 17498
Founded: Dec 09, 2013
Psychotic Dictatorship

Postby Costa Fierro » Tue Oct 27, 2015 12:27 am

Oh, so this is why the United States has the death penalty.
"Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist." - George Carlin

User avatar
The Alexanderians
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 12558
Founded: Oct 03, 2010
Ex-Nation

Postby The Alexanderians » Tue Oct 27, 2015 12:36 am

Costa Fierro wrote:Oh, so this is why the United States has the death penalty.

You know too much
Galloism wrote:Or we can go with feminism doesn't exist. We all imagined it. Collectively.
You can't fight the friction
Women belong in the kitchen
Men belong in the kitchen
Everyone belongs in the kitchen
Kitchen has food
I have brought dishonor to my gaming clan
Achesia wrote:Threads like this is why I need to stop coming to NSG....

Marethian Lupanar of Teladre wrote:A bright and cheerful mountain village of chapel-goers~

The Archregimancy wrote:
Hagia Sophia is best church.

Major-Tom wrote:Why am I full of apathy?

I'm just here to be the peanut gallery
уσυ нανєи'т gσт тнє fυℓℓ єffє¢т

User avatar
Costa Fierro
Post Marshal
 
Posts: 17498
Founded: Dec 09, 2013
Psychotic Dictatorship

Postby Costa Fierro » Tue Oct 27, 2015 12:37 am

The Alexanderians wrote:
Costa Fierro wrote:Oh, so this is why the United States has the death penalty.

You know too much


I wonder if hot dogs made from black prisoners are longer than those made from whites.
"Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist." - George Carlin

User avatar
Jochistan
Powerbroker
 
Posts: 9390
Founded: Nov 02, 2014
Ex-Nation

Postby Jochistan » Tue Oct 27, 2015 12:40 am

Costa Fierro wrote:
The Alexanderians wrote:You know too much


I wonder if hot dogs made from black prisoners are longer than those made from whites.

If I had a drink, my computer would be destroyed.
Your friendly neighborhood Steppe Republic.
I was a wimp before Nationstates, now I'm a jerk and everybody loves me.

Pro: Moral Conservatism, Nationalism, Rationalism, Theocracy, Traditionalism, Golden Age of Islam, Corporal and Capital Punishment, Ethnic Mixing, Integration, Stranka Demokratske Akcije, Kosovo, Tibet, Ichkeria, el Sisi.
Anti: Salafism, Khomeinism, Racial Ultranationalism, Xenophobic Populism, Progressivism, Communism, Hedonism, Pacifism, Multiculturalism, Nihilism, Israel, Hamas, Serbia and friends, China.
Genghis did nothing wrong

User avatar
The Alexanderians
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 12558
Founded: Oct 03, 2010
Ex-Nation

Postby The Alexanderians » Tue Oct 27, 2015 12:40 am

Jochistan wrote:
Costa Fierro wrote:
I wonder if hot dogs made from black prisoners are longer than those made from whites.

If I had a drink, my computer would be destroyed.

Why are you black?
>.>
Last edited by The Alexanderians on Tue Oct 27, 2015 12:41 am, edited 1 time in total.
Galloism wrote:Or we can go with feminism doesn't exist. We all imagined it. Collectively.
You can't fight the friction
Women belong in the kitchen
Men belong in the kitchen
Everyone belongs in the kitchen
Kitchen has food
I have brought dishonor to my gaming clan
Achesia wrote:Threads like this is why I need to stop coming to NSG....

Marethian Lupanar of Teladre wrote:A bright and cheerful mountain village of chapel-goers~

The Archregimancy wrote:
Hagia Sophia is best church.

Major-Tom wrote:Why am I full of apathy?

I'm just here to be the peanut gallery
уσυ нανєи'т gσт тнє fυℓℓ єffє¢т

User avatar
Idzequitch
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 14524
Founded: Apr 22, 2014
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Idzequitch » Tue Oct 27, 2015 12:42 am

I think that this is all a bunch of B-O-L-O-G-N-A

Then again, I guess you could say:
Oscar Mayer has no guess,
what's in the H-O-T D-O-G-S?
Last edited by Idzequitch on Tue Oct 27, 2015 12:56 am, edited 2 times in total.
Call me Idz. Now with 107% more stupid comments!
That time I got modded for completing 2nd grade
Twenty-something, male, heterosexual, Protestant Christian. Politically unaffiliated libertarian-ish centrist
Pro: Pittsburgh Steelers, Bratwurst, The Color Blue, The Star Wars Holiday Special
Anti: Anime, Labradoodles, Boston Red Sox, Vegemite, Pro/Anti lists

I once believed in causes too, I had my pointless point of view, and life went on no matter who was wrong or right. - Billy Joel

User avatar
USS Monitor
Game Moderator
 
Posts: 26608
Founded: Jul 01, 2015
19th Century Iron Steamship

Postby USS Monitor » Tue Oct 27, 2015 12:43 am

UAWC wrote:
Gauthier wrote:
And for people who aren't affluent hipsters, how can they be guaranteed realistically affordable shots at the purest food possible?


Completely serious answer? Hunting and gathering. That's really all we can do at this point...and I do advocate a large-scale return to that lifestyle. It's the best thing for our health, it's the best way to prevent the wide-scale oppression of livestock, and it's the best thing for the planet.


Except for all those fun parasites and diseases that you can pick up from bushmeat.
Don't take life so serious... it isn't permanent... RIP Dyakovo and Ashmoria
~~One Stop Rules Shop (OSRS)~~Getting Help (GHR)~~
༄༅། །འགྲོ་བ་མི་རིགས་ག་ར་དབང་ཆ་འདྲ་མཉམ་འབད་སྒྱེཝ་ལས་ག་ར་གིས་གཅིག་གིས་གཅིག་ལུ་སྤུན་ཆའི་དམ་ཚིག་བསྟན་དགོས།

User avatar
Nanatsu no Tsuki
Post Overlord
 
Posts: 179942
Founded: Feb 10, 2008
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Nanatsu no Tsuki » Tue Oct 27, 2015 12:44 am

The wisdom of Soylent Green...
Code name: Ratatouille Strychnine
Also: THERNSY!!
Your story isn't over;֍Help save transgender people's lives֍Help for feral cats֍Stop the slow loris illegal pet trade
Cat with internet access||Heartless, strawmanner, Truscum, ''transgendered non-binary kawaii Chan'', flaming faggot and a d*ck. Kiss my paw?||No TGs
SQUIG #1||RIP: Dyakovo & Ashmoria

User avatar
Excidium Planetis
Negotiator
 
Posts: 7473
Founded: May 01, 2014
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Excidium Planetis » Tue Oct 27, 2015 12:51 am

Humans leave DNA on almost everything they touch... That's (partly) why forensic evidence works.

Humans touch hotdogs... Of course you are going to find Human DNA on them. The fact that 98% were completely Human DNA free (or at least undetectable levels) is great news, actually.
Ex-Ambassador (deceased): Evander Blackbourne
Ex-Ambassador: Cornelia Schultz, author of GA#355 and GA#368.
#MakeLegislationFunnyAgain
Singaporean Transhumans wrote:You didn't know about Excidium? The greatest space nomads in the NS multiverse with a healthy dose (read: over 9000 percent) of realism?
Saveyou Island wrote:"Warmest welcomes to the Assembly, ambassador. You'll soon learn to hate everyone here."
Imperium Anglorum wrote:Digital Network Defence is pretty meh
Tier 8, 7.5 nation, according to my index.Made of nomadic fleets.


News: None. Good, right?

User avatar
UAWC
Negotiator
 
Posts: 5045
Founded: Oct 24, 2009
Ex-Nation

Postby UAWC » Tue Oct 27, 2015 1:25 am

USS Monitor wrote:
UAWC wrote:
Completely serious answer? Hunting and gathering. That's really all we can do at this point...and I do advocate a large-scale return to that lifestyle. It's the best thing for our health, it's the best way to prevent the wide-scale oppression of livestock, and it's the best thing for the planet.


Except for all those fun parasites and diseases that you can pick up from bushmeat.


That's why you cook it properly.
Political Compass:
Economic Left/Right: -9.5
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -5.59
Genderqueer political nihilist and misanthrope.
The only way to fix it is to flush it all away.
LOVEWHOYOUARE~

Next

Advertisement

Remove ads

Return to General

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bahktar, Dumb Ideologies, Duvniask, Kortunal, Kowani, Page, Qirmizi Azerbaycan, The Alma Mater

Advertisement

Remove ads