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War against Pigeons?

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God Kefka
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War against Pigeons?

Postby God Kefka » Thu Feb 27, 2014 2:52 am

Too many North American and European cities are just covered with pigeon crap. I went to Venice this summer and this is the part they never show in the movies... the rocky floor is just COVERED with white pigeon droppings. It's almost enough to completely ruin the scenery...

This is especially problematic in Europe... be it Rome, Paris, or Venice.

Whenever I'm waiting for a bus I notice that the roof of the stop is almost always peppered with some of that stuff too.

Why do we let pigeons and birds fly around in the cities? They are clearly a threat to the cleanliness of the city, and what if they drop their bombs on you while you are walking? On your way to a job interview? On your way to see your special someone?

These birds are a public menace I say and it's time to embrace some kind of large-scale plan to either completely eradicate them from urban areas or else severely limit their existence in the cities. It's not just that they leave a disgusting mark on infrastructure, it's also that they could spread airborne diseases and maybe even attack your hair.

I think something needs to be done about these birds... what do you think?

Perhaps we should put up high towers in every major Western city loaded with chemicals to draw in the birds and then humanely remove them from existence. I'm tired of seeing my car windshields shot up by the birds every time I leave it out in the sun...
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Christmahanikwanzikah
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Postby Christmahanikwanzikah » Thu Feb 27, 2014 2:53 am

Tesla would not be pleased with your plan.

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God Kefka
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Postby God Kefka » Thu Feb 27, 2014 2:54 am

Christmahanikwanzikah wrote:Tesla would not be pleased with your plan.


Who the hell is Tesla?
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Christmahanikwanzikah
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Postby Christmahanikwanzikah » Thu Feb 27, 2014 2:54 am

God Kefka wrote:
Christmahanikwanzikah wrote:Tesla would not be pleased with your plan.


Who the hell is Tesla?


Hoo boy...

I'm sorry for the impending threadjack.

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Cetacea
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Compulsory Consumerist State

Postby Cetacea » Thu Feb 27, 2014 2:58 am

Giant nets strung over all parks, that way you get to feed the homeless too

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God Kefka
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Postby God Kefka » Thu Feb 27, 2014 2:59 am

Cetacea wrote:Giant nets strung over all parks, that way you get to feed the homeless too


This is a bloody brilliant idea!

Maybe you should start a political party on this platform...
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West Berenkuva
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Postby West Berenkuva » Thu Feb 27, 2014 3:01 am

By the glorious leadership of West Berenkuva we demand pigeon populations be put first, our national animal is the pigeon and we will retaliate against any action taken to pigeons by executing random citizens.

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L Ron Cupboard
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Postby L Ron Cupboard » Thu Feb 27, 2014 3:05 am

If people put their fast food left overs in bins, instead of just chucking them on the ground wherever they are like assholes, the problem might be lessened.

Also shooting little old ladies who feed them.
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Roddyland
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Postby Roddyland » Thu Feb 27, 2014 3:06 am

Cities will look empty when you kill or [insert what you want to do]. I don't want to get rid of pigeons.
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God Kefka
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Postby God Kefka » Thu Feb 27, 2014 3:06 am

L Ron Cupboard wrote:If people put their fast food left overs in bins, instead of just chucking them on the ground wherever they are like assholes, the problem might be lessened.

Also shooting little old ladies who feed them.


Human rights come before pigeon rights...

Are you some kind of pigeon sympathizer?

These are dangerous times we live in...
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God Kefka
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Postby God Kefka » Thu Feb 27, 2014 3:07 am

Roddyland wrote:Cities will look empty when you kill or [insert what you want to do]. I don't want to get rid of pigeons.


So you'll put up with their crap (literally)?
Last edited by God Kefka on Thu Feb 27, 2014 3:07 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Orennana
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Postby Orennana » Thu Feb 27, 2014 3:09 am

The problem is, pigeons are the main food source for the peregrine falcon, which, at least in the UK if not elsewhere, is a threatened species (worldwide there are plenty of them, but I live in the UK so that's the stats I know). With peregrine habitats rapidly disappearing, they've taken to building nests on artificial versions of the cliff ledges they roost on - those being tall inner-city buildings. We're already destroying their natural habitat, forcing them to move into the cities, so destroying their food supply in the only place they have left to live is somewhat counter-productive. Personally, while I agree that the concept of pigeon guano is not desirable in major population centres, I cannot bear the thought of humans driving yet another beautiful species to the brink of extinction just so we can all live a teeny bit easier.
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Roddyland
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Postby Roddyland » Thu Feb 27, 2014 3:14 am

God Kefka wrote:
Roddyland wrote:Cities will look empty when you kill or [insert what you want to do]. I don't want to get rid of pigeons.


So you'll put up with their crap (literally)?


If you have a good cleanup crew, your cities are safe, like ours
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God Kefka
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Postby God Kefka » Thu Feb 27, 2014 3:17 am

Roddyland wrote:
God Kefka wrote:
So you'll put up with their crap (literally)?


If you have a good cleanup crew, your cities are safe, like ours


I can't sue the pigeons when they drop their bombs against my person. I suspect the city's immune from such suits too...

So no I don't think I'm that safe.

How can a city be safe when organic bombers continuously fly over its horizons?
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Grand Minneapolis
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Postby Grand Minneapolis » Thu Feb 27, 2014 3:25 am

Hire Niko Bellic. He loves killing pigeons.
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Costa Fierro
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Postby Costa Fierro » Thu Feb 27, 2014 3:27 am

Falcons. Lots and lots of Falcons. Failing that, kids with BB rifles. Nothing wrong with hunting down invasive pests. We do similar culls with possums.
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Great Kleomentia
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Postby Great Kleomentia » Thu Feb 27, 2014 3:27 am

OH GAWD, NAHT THA HAIR!

God Kefka wrote:
Christmahanikwanzikah wrote:Tesla would not be pleased with your plan.


Who the hell is Tesla?

:palm:
hue

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Zepplien
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Postby Zepplien » Thu Feb 27, 2014 3:28 am

Clearly we need to break out the WW2 era flack guns to solve the problem
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Costa Fierro
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Psychotic Dictatorship

Postby Costa Fierro » Thu Feb 27, 2014 3:30 am

Zepplien wrote:Clearly we need to break out the WW2 era flack guns to solve the problem


needs moar spitfires
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The Nihilistic view
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Postby The Nihilistic view » Thu Feb 27, 2014 3:30 am

Come live in the country, we shoot pigeons.
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God Kefka
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Postby God Kefka » Thu Feb 27, 2014 3:32 am

Costa Fierro wrote:Falcons. Lots and lots of Falcons. Failing that, kids with BB rifles. Nothing wrong with hunting down invasive pests. We do similar culls with possums.


You do realize that falcons too will bomb the population indiscriminately with their biological weapons if deployed over the urban airspace?
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Great Kleomentia
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Postby Great Kleomentia » Thu Feb 27, 2014 3:34 am

God Kefka wrote:
Costa Fierro wrote:Falcons. Lots and lots of Falcons. Failing that, kids with BB rifles. Nothing wrong with hunting down invasive pests. We do similar culls with possums.


You do realize that falcons too will bomb the population indiscriminately with their biological weapons if deployed over the urban airspace?

Jesus Christ, its just a few pigeons pooping. No need to go all Hitler on them.
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Horusland
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Postby Horusland » Thu Feb 27, 2014 3:34 am

:lol2:
Why do people always think they're more important than other species? And over something like poop? :p
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Costa Fierro
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Psychotic Dictatorship

Postby Costa Fierro » Thu Feb 27, 2014 3:35 am

God Kefka wrote:
Costa Fierro wrote:Falcons. Lots and lots of Falcons. Failing that, kids with BB rifles. Nothing wrong with hunting down invasive pests. We do similar culls with possums.


You do realize that falcons too will bomb the population indiscriminately with their biological weapons if deployed over the urban airspace?


Fight birds with birds. And who really cares? It's just a bit of poo.
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Horusland
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Postby Horusland » Thu Feb 27, 2014 3:36 am

Costa Fierro wrote:
God Kefka wrote:
You do realize that falcons too will bomb the population indiscriminately with their biological weapons if deployed over the urban airspace?


Fight birds with birds. And who really cares? It's just a bit of poo.

It's not about the poo. It's about killing stuff. The poo is just the excuse. ;)
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