NATION

PASSWORD

[PASSED] Commend Mousebumples

A carefully preserved record of the most notable World Assembly debates.
User avatar
Abacathea
Minister
 
Posts: 2057
Founded: Nov 17, 2012
Ex-Nation

[PASSED] Commend Mousebumples

Postby Abacathea » Tue Sep 10, 2013 2:39 pm

As per usual all feedback appreciated;

NB - Second draft up now, wasn't happy with the first at all, this i'm feeling a lot better about although I still think it needs touching up.

Image
Commend Mousebumples

A resolution to recognize outstanding contribution by a nation or region.

Category: Commendation | Nominee: Mousebumples | Proposed by: Abacathea


The Security Council;

Recognizing the role of this esteemed assembly in enshrining nations of infamy and great works alike in the annals of the World Assembly archives.

Noting; Mousebumples has remained overlooked despite their fantastic contributions to the World Assembly and the universe itself.

Observing that Mousebumples has contirbuted no less than 14 General Assembly resolutions and 2 Security Council resolutions to the World Assembly, all aimed at the significant betterment of the people en masse, including;

WA#103 International Drug Education
WA#124 Essential Medication Act
WA#217 Biomedical Donor Rights

Further observing that in addition to the acts authored by Mousbumples they have also contributed various other passages into the World Assembly as a co-author too.

Impressed; with the contribution Mousebumples has made to new and old nations alike and the documentation they circulate throughout the universe to assist nations with the often cloudy terrain that is the World Assembly.

Further impressed with the role Mousebumples has played as delegate in Monkey island portraying a positive, welcoming and nurturing environment for nations new and old under their wise judgement and extensive knowledge.

Hereby;
Commends Mousebumples

Image
Commend Mousebumples

A resolution to recognize outstanding contribution by a nation or region.

Category: Commendation | Nominee: Mousebumples | Proposed by: Abacathea


The Security Council;

Recognizing the role of this esteemed assembly in enshrining nations of infamy and exceptional contribution alike in the annals of the World Assembly archives.

Dismayed; that a nation, who has contributed so much to the known universe and those who reside within it, has gone overlooked by this esteemed council for so long and therefore resolving to correct this grevious error post haste;

Observing that the nation of Mousebumples has contirbuted no less than 14 General Assembly resolutions and 2 Security Council resolutions to the World Assembly with the laudible approach of bettering the universe as a whole for those who reside within, including;
  • WA#103 International Drug Education
  • WA#124 Essential Medication Act
  • WA#217 Biomedical Donor Rights

Further observing that the contributions of Mousebumples to the World Assembly do not stop merely at the authoring of acts of significance, but also the co-authoring of passages and general assistance and advice this nation provides to nations who seek it out.

Noting that the achievements of this great nation are not confined solely to that of the World Assembly body, that the nation of Mousebumples has led Monkey Island as a strong and fair leader for a considerable term, and that it is anticipated and hoped that this will remain the status quo for time to come.

Thankful for the literature Mousebumples has provided for new nations and old alike, to clear up any misgivings or queries regarding the universe and that which operates within it, as well as this nations willingness to provide support to it's fellow nations.

Believing that Mousebumples is among one of the nations who has truely contributed to the universe as we know it and should be recognised accordingly in the Security Council archives as both a mark of respect and an encouragement to new nations and old alike to follow in their path,

Hereby;
Commends Mousebumples


Image
Commend Mousebumples

A resolution to recognize outstanding contribution by a nation or region.

Category: Commendation | Nominee: Mousebumples | Proposed by: Abacathea


The Security Council;

Recognizing the role of this esteemed assembly in enshrining nations of infamy and exceptional contribution alike in the annals of the World Assembly archives.

Dismayed; that a nation, who has contributed so much to the known universe and those who reside within it, has gone overlooked by this esteemed council for so long and therefore resolving to correct this grevious error post haste;

Observing that Mousebumples has contributed fourteen General Assembly and two Security Council resolutions as well as co-authored significantly more, that enrich the lives of all WA residents, including;
  • WA#103 International Drug Education
  • WA#124 Essential Medication Act
  • WA#217 Biomedical Donor Rights

Further observing that the achievements of this great nation are not confined solely to that of the World Assembly body, but the provision of general assistance and advice in a mentor role throughout the community at large, as well as to their individual region of Monkey Island to which they have been a strong and fair leader for a considerable term.

Noting that beyond their general approachability and willingness to assist nations of all ages, that Mousebumples has authored several texts for the benefit of nations which can be found dotted around the World Assembly and the universe at large.
I'm trying to work around Bumples works here, such as "Why repeal?" (always the first that comes to mind) and so forth but trying to incorporate it in a way that doesnt break any of the rules. Suggestions on this one welcomed as I keep hitting a wall here

Hereby;
Commends Mousebumples


Image
Commend Mousebumples

A resolution to recognize outstanding contribution by a nation or region.

Category: Commendation | Nominee: Mousebumples | Proposed by: Abacathea


The Security Council;

Recognizing the role of this esteemed assembly in enshrining nations of infamy and exceptional contribution alike in the annals of the World Assembly archives.

Dismayed; that a nation, which has contributed so much to the known universe and those who reside within it, has gone overlooked by this esteemed council for so long and therefore resolving to correct this grievous error post haste;

Observing that Mousebumples has contributed fourteen General Assembly and two Security Council resolutions as well as co-authored significantly more, that enrich the lives of all WA residents, including;

WA# 124, The Essential Medication Act: which guarantees the right of persons to receive treatments involving medically essential drugs, while still respecting the rights of a nation to either legalize or ban certain drugs.

WA# 151, The Missing Individuals Act: which established the Missing Individuals Archive and allowed increased cooperation on a globally international scale with regards to missing persons of all ages and genders.

WA# 215-219: A series of resolutions aimed at repealing previously flawed medical legislation and replacing those with comprehensive resolutions covering the subjects of organ donation and biomedical innovation.

Cognizant of the considerable drafting assistance that the nation of Mousebumples has provided, without prejudice, to all nations, increasing the quality of the World Assembly's resolutions,

Further observing that the achievements of this great nation are not confined solely to that of the World Assembly body, but the provision of general assistance and advice in a mentor role to developing nations, as well as to their individual region of Monkey Island to which they have been a strong and fair leader for a considerable term.

Additionally noting that the nation of Mousebumples has also directly assisted other regions in World Assembly goals and pursuits,including Europeia, where Mousebumples directed the Department of World Assembly Affairs.

Also noting that beyond their general approachability and willingness to assist nations of all ages, that Mousebumples has authored several texts for the benefit of nations which can be found dotted around the World Assembly and the universe at large.

Hereby;
Commends Mousebumples

Co-authored by The Dourian Embassy



Notes - Third Draft up today to address some issues raised by Eist.
    Changes made -
  • Some fluff removed, but not all, I like my writing style (sorry Eist).
  • Grammatical and spelling errors fixed (if i've missed any, please do point them out, the its/it's thing is always an issue for me. Sorry gang, that rule still eludes me.
  • Condensation of paragraphs for consistency and structural integrity.
  • Finally at a point where we're happy, many thanks to The Dourian Embassy who preserved the act it it's core but helped really refine it.
Last edited by Sedgistan on Wed Sep 18, 2013 11:31 pm, edited 16 times in total.
Reason: (gave it an *at vote* tag
G.A #236; Renewable Energy Installations (Repealed)
G.A #239; Vehicle Emissions Convention (Repealed).
G.A #257; Reducing Automobile Emissions (Repealed).
G.A #263; Uranium Mining Standards Act
G.A #279; Right of Emigration
G.A #292; Nuclear Security Convention
(Co-Author)
G.A #363; Preservation of Artefacts (repealed)
S.C #118; Commend SkyDip
S.C #120; Commend Mousebumples
S.C #122; Condemn Gest
S.C #124; Commend Bears Armed
S.C #125; Commend The Bruce
S.C #126; Commend Sanctaria
S.C #131: Commend NewTexas
(Co-Author)
S.C #136; Repeal "Liberate St Abbaddon" (Co-Author)
S.C #143; Commend Hobbesistan
S.C #146; Repeal "Liberate Hogwarts"

User avatar
Omigodtheykilledkenny
Negotiator
 
Posts: 5612
Founded: Mar 14, 2005
Capitalizt

Postby Omigodtheykilledkenny » Tue Sep 10, 2013 3:45 pm

The region is Monkey Island, and her name is misspelled in the last clause. Also, if there was a fourth-rule-compliant way to discuss her involvement with Technical stickies, that would be a good addition, as well as the roleplayed aspects of her nation, and its WA delegation's magnanimity in owning up to their colossal mistake in commending Antarctic Oasis, and personally taking the initiative to correct it.
Last edited by Omigodtheykilledkenny on Tue Sep 10, 2013 4:46 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Omigodtheykilledkenny FAQ | "The Biggest Sovereigntist IN THE WORLD" - Chester Pearson

User avatar
Frattastan II
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1030
Founded: Nov 27, 2010
Ex-Nation

Postby Frattastan II » Tue Sep 10, 2013 3:47 pm

I would remove the part mentioning the duration of her time as delegate.
It's the kind of thing that only encourages people to go and mess with it. >_>
Rejected Realms Army High Commander
(So you've been ejected..., forum, news, RRA)
<@Guy> well done, fuckhead.
* @Guy claps for frattastan

User avatar
Solorni
Minister
 
Posts: 3024
Founded: Sep 04, 2007
Ex-Nation

Postby Solorni » Tue Sep 10, 2013 3:48 pm

I would love to see Mousebumples commended :)
Lovely Queen of Balder
Proud Delegate of WALL

Lucky Number 13

User avatar
Abacathea
Minister
 
Posts: 2057
Founded: Nov 17, 2012
Ex-Nation

Postby Abacathea » Tue Sep 10, 2013 5:05 pm

Omigodtheykilledkenny wrote:The region is Monkey Island, and her name is misspelled in the last clause. Also, if there was a fourth-rule-compliant way to discuss her involvement with Technical stickies, that would be a good addition, as well as the roleplayed aspects of her nation, and its WA delegation's magnanimity in owning up to their colossal mistake in commending Antarctic Oasis, and personally taking the initiative to correct it.


Fixed the region mistake. I have NO idea how I did that given I had the region page open at the time -_-

I tried to reference the the stickies as best I can without rule violations ie; "circulated literature". As for the AO thing let me mull over how to work that in.
Last edited by Abacathea on Tue Sep 10, 2013 5:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.
G.A #236; Renewable Energy Installations (Repealed)
G.A #239; Vehicle Emissions Convention (Repealed).
G.A #257; Reducing Automobile Emissions (Repealed).
G.A #263; Uranium Mining Standards Act
G.A #279; Right of Emigration
G.A #292; Nuclear Security Convention
(Co-Author)
G.A #363; Preservation of Artefacts (repealed)
S.C #118; Commend SkyDip
S.C #120; Commend Mousebumples
S.C #122; Condemn Gest
S.C #124; Commend Bears Armed
S.C #125; Commend The Bruce
S.C #126; Commend Sanctaria
S.C #131: Commend NewTexas
(Co-Author)
S.C #136; Repeal "Liberate St Abbaddon" (Co-Author)
S.C #143; Commend Hobbesistan
S.C #146; Repeal "Liberate Hogwarts"

User avatar
Abacathea
Minister
 
Posts: 2057
Founded: Nov 17, 2012
Ex-Nation

Postby Abacathea » Tue Sep 10, 2013 5:05 pm

Frattastan II wrote:I would remove the part mentioning the duration of her time as delegate.
It's the kind of thing that only encourages people to go and mess with it. >_>


Done
G.A #236; Renewable Energy Installations (Repealed)
G.A #239; Vehicle Emissions Convention (Repealed).
G.A #257; Reducing Automobile Emissions (Repealed).
G.A #263; Uranium Mining Standards Act
G.A #279; Right of Emigration
G.A #292; Nuclear Security Convention
(Co-Author)
G.A #363; Preservation of Artefacts (repealed)
S.C #118; Commend SkyDip
S.C #120; Commend Mousebumples
S.C #122; Condemn Gest
S.C #124; Commend Bears Armed
S.C #125; Commend The Bruce
S.C #126; Commend Sanctaria
S.C #131: Commend NewTexas
(Co-Author)
S.C #136; Repeal "Liberate St Abbaddon" (Co-Author)
S.C #143; Commend Hobbesistan
S.C #146; Repeal "Liberate Hogwarts"

User avatar
Eist
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1194
Founded: May 10, 2010
Left-wing Utopia

Postby Eist » Tue Sep 10, 2013 5:26 pm

I really like Mousebumples but this proposal is really poorly thought out and written. Quite frankly, I would have expected better from you! I suggest you seek a co-author; someone that knows what she's achieved well.
Unibot III wrote:Frankly, the lows that people sink to in this game is perhaps the most disturbing thing about NationStates Gameplay.

User avatar
Mallorea and Riva
Game Moderator
 
Posts: 9237
Founded: Sep 29, 2010
Benevolent Dictatorship

Postby Mallorea and Riva » Tue Sep 10, 2013 10:40 pm

Frattastan II wrote:I would remove the part mentioning the duration of her time as delegate.
It's the kind of thing that only encourages people to go and mess with it. >_>

If you think I don't know exactly which delegates are at what timeframe, then you are silly Fratt.

Mousey has done excellent work in NS, I would fully support a well thought out and well written Commendation. Just don't rush it.
Ideological Bulwark #253
Retired Charter Nation: Political Affairs in Antarctic Oasis
Retired Major and Field Marshal of The Black Hawks
Retired Colonel of DEN Central Command, now defunct
Former Delegate of The South Pacific, winner of TSP's "Best Dali" Award
Retired Secretary of Defense of Stargate
Terror of The Joint Systems Alliance
Mall Isaraider, son of Tram and Spartz, Brother of Jakker, Tal, and apparently Sev the treacherous bastard.
Frattastan quote of the month: "I don't think chatting with someone over the Internet about casual topics falls under faithful or unfaithful. :<"

User avatar
Abacathea
Minister
 
Posts: 2057
Founded: Nov 17, 2012
Ex-Nation

Postby Abacathea » Wed Sep 11, 2013 12:22 am

Eist wrote:I really like Mousebumples but this proposal is really poorly thought out and written. Quite frankly, I would have expected better from you! I suggest you seek a co-author; someone that knows what she's achieved well.


I'm surprised that there's expectancies from me as an author now lol surprised bit pleased. To be honest I'm looking at it myself and I'm not pleased with it. I have no intention of submitting it for a while. This is just an early draft. Mousebumples in my opinion is an ideal and long overlooked candidate IMO. Don't worry I'll do her justice once I've finished the research. This is just my early draft :)
G.A #236; Renewable Energy Installations (Repealed)
G.A #239; Vehicle Emissions Convention (Repealed).
G.A #257; Reducing Automobile Emissions (Repealed).
G.A #263; Uranium Mining Standards Act
G.A #279; Right of Emigration
G.A #292; Nuclear Security Convention
(Co-Author)
G.A #363; Preservation of Artefacts (repealed)
S.C #118; Commend SkyDip
S.C #120; Commend Mousebumples
S.C #122; Condemn Gest
S.C #124; Commend Bears Armed
S.C #125; Commend The Bruce
S.C #126; Commend Sanctaria
S.C #131: Commend NewTexas
(Co-Author)
S.C #136; Repeal "Liberate St Abbaddon" (Co-Author)
S.C #143; Commend Hobbesistan
S.C #146; Repeal "Liberate Hogwarts"

User avatar
Tano
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1441
Founded: Dec 20, 2012
Ex-Nation

Postby Tano » Wed Sep 11, 2013 6:08 pm

I'd definately be for a commendation of Mousebumples.
Tano Holland
Govindia: Do you consider me a friend, or just an acquaintance or what?
hobbes: I don't particularly consider anyone a true 'friend'
hobbes: at least,not on NS
Govindia: why is that?
hobbes: because
hobbes: everyone here is a jackass
hobbes: myself included

Pixie: *heart sploosh*
Tano: if your heart is splooshing you should contact a doctor
Tano: hearts are supposed to thump not sploosh
Pixie: No this is normal
Pixie: intense emotion causes me to hemorrage internally
Pixie: my life is like a really depressing comedic episode of The X-Files

Khron: we need an achievment of rem's face just for Tano
Pixie: haha
Pixie: "be Tano"

Brunhilde: My quotes should be in more signatures.

Also known as Takane or Terisclu

User avatar
Eist
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1194
Founded: May 10, 2010
Left-wing Utopia

Postby Eist » Wed Sep 11, 2013 10:13 pm

Thanks for contacting me privately!

The Security Council;

Recognizing the role of this esteemed assembly in enshrining nations of infamy and exceptional contribution alike in the annals of the World Assembly archives.


This is irrelevant to the topic at hand. It’s filler and should be removed.

Dismayed; that a nation, who has contributed so much to the known universe and those who reside within it, has gone overlooked by this esteemed council for so long and therefore resolving to correct this grevious error post haste;


Irrelevant. If it wasn’t so, then you wouldn’t be trying to commend her—we know that this is the case already without you posting it. Say why she is important without simply stating “She’s kind of a big deal and the SC has fucked up not commending her already” without the evidence to back this up.

Observing that the nation of Mousebumples has contributed no less than 14 General Assembly resolutions and 2 Security Council resolutions to the World Assembly with the laudable approach of bettering the universe as a whole for those who reside within, including;
• WA#103 International Drug Education
• WA#124 Essential Medication Act
• WA#217 Biomedical Donor Rights


Spelling corrections, but otherwise reasonable. Not sure why you chose these ones specifically. Anyway, my suggestion would be:

“Observing that Mousebumples has contributed fourteen General Assembly and two Security Council resolutions that enrich the lives of all WA residents, including;

Do you see how much more simple and *clean* this is? It really gets rid of the crap, while simultaneously stressing that these resolutions have improved the lives of all people.

Further observing that the contributions of Mousebumples to the World Assembly do not stop merely at the authoring of acts of significance, but also the co-authoring of passages and general assistance and advice this nation provides to nations who seek it out.


The second part—Mouse as a mentor to others—is way more important than her co-authorships. You even giving it the same amount of importance as her lead authorships degrades them. Incorporate her co-authorships into the paragraph with her main authorships and make her helping the NS world a paragraph on its own. You need to research this further.

Noting that the achievements of this great nation are not confined solely to that of the World Assembly body, that the nation of Mousebumples has led Monkey Island as a strong and fair leader for a considerable term, and that it is anticipated and hoped that this will remain the status quo for time to come.


Needs more research and perhaps should be incorporated into the shortened paragraph above.

Thankful for the literature Mousebumples has provided for new nations and old alike, to clear up any misgivings or queries regarding the universe and that which operates within it, as well as this nations willingness to provide support to its fellow nations.


Ditto. Also, “its”, not “it’s”.

Believing that Mousebumples is among one of the nations who has truly contributed to the universe as we know it and should be recognised accordingly in the Security Council archives as both a mark of respect and an encouragement to new nations and old alike to follow in their path,

Hereby;
Commends Mousebumples


Spelling, again. Ditto, again. This is just fluff—not really addressing why the nation should be commended, but, rather, just there because you think the resolution should be some arbitrary minimum length. It doesn’t, and you shouldn’t think it should be. Check for formatting inconsistencies. Hope this helps!
Unibot III wrote:Frankly, the lows that people sink to in this game is perhaps the most disturbing thing about NationStates Gameplay.

User avatar
Abacathea
Minister
 
Posts: 2057
Founded: Nov 17, 2012
Ex-Nation

Postby Abacathea » Thu Sep 12, 2013 4:12 am

Ill post a new draft later. I've been on ie the past few days and its not catching my spelling errors. Highly embarrassing. Back to safari tonight so! Lol
G.A #236; Renewable Energy Installations (Repealed)
G.A #239; Vehicle Emissions Convention (Repealed).
G.A #257; Reducing Automobile Emissions (Repealed).
G.A #263; Uranium Mining Standards Act
G.A #279; Right of Emigration
G.A #292; Nuclear Security Convention
(Co-Author)
G.A #363; Preservation of Artefacts (repealed)
S.C #118; Commend SkyDip
S.C #120; Commend Mousebumples
S.C #122; Condemn Gest
S.C #124; Commend Bears Armed
S.C #125; Commend The Bruce
S.C #126; Commend Sanctaria
S.C #131: Commend NewTexas
(Co-Author)
S.C #136; Repeal "Liberate St Abbaddon" (Co-Author)
S.C #143; Commend Hobbesistan
S.C #146; Repeal "Liberate Hogwarts"

User avatar
Unibot III
Negotiator
 
Posts: 5571
Founded: Mar 11, 2011
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Unibot III » Thu Sep 12, 2013 5:30 am

I would be more interested in this resolution, if Mousebumples wasn't a member of AO and didn't get caught in those leaks from AO that showed her dissing a lot of players and didn't play a role in organizing campaigns to disrupt the WA Votes of regions (e.g., Texas, 10000 Islands, Osiris.. and, just speculating, Europeia).

But nonetheless, if you're going to commend Mousebumples, you should probably note her contributions to her school of thought: NatSov. She wrote a few guides regarding NatSov and has always been a fierce proponent of it (to the point where I think she regularly abused her position as a mentor, but I digress).

She also helped run a (fairly-biased-towards-NatSov) tutorial on the GA in Europeia, which was organized by Sky-Dip (?).
Last edited by Unibot III on Thu Sep 12, 2013 5:32 am, edited 2 times in total.
[violet] wrote:I mean this in the best possible way,
but Unibot is not a typical NS player.
Milograd wrote:You're a caring, resolute lunatic
with the best of intentions.
Org. Join Date: 25/05/2008 | Former Delegate of The Rejected Realms | Gameplay Alignment: -18 / -13
Unibotian Factbook // An Analysis of NationStates Generations // The Gameplay Alignment Test // NS Weather // How do I join the UDL? // The Transpacific Trade
Paradise Found // The Unibotian Life Expectancy Index // Proudly Authored 9 GA Res., 14 SC Res. // Commended by SC#78 // The Polysemes of Nativeness;

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
✯ Duty is Eternal, Justice is Imminent: UDL

User avatar
Mahaj
Senator
 
Posts: 4110
Founded: Dec 08, 2009
Ex-Nation

Postby Mahaj » Thu Sep 12, 2013 5:39 am

Because of all those leaks, I don't think Mousebumples is a particularly commendable nominee.
Aal Izz Well: UDL
<Koth> I'm still going by the assumption that Mahaj is Unibot's kid brother or something
Kandarin(Naivetry): You're going to have a great NS career ahead of you if you want it, Mahaj. :)
<@Eluvatar> Why is SkyDip such a purist raiderist
<+frattastan> Because his region was never raided.
<+maxbarry> EarthAway: I guess I might dabble in raiding just to experience it better, but I would not like to raid regions of natives, so I'd probably be more interested in defense and liberations

User avatar
Frattastan II
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1030
Founded: Nov 27, 2010
Ex-Nation

Postby Frattastan II » Thu Sep 12, 2013 6:30 am

Mahaj wrote:Because of all those leaks, I don't think Mousebumples is a particularly commendable nominee.


Right, because other Commendees never were disrespectful to other players, privately or publicly.
Rejected Realms Army High Commander
(So you've been ejected..., forum, news, RRA)
<@Guy> well done, fuckhead.
* @Guy claps for frattastan

User avatar
Abacathea
Minister
 
Posts: 2057
Founded: Nov 17, 2012
Ex-Nation

Postby Abacathea » Thu Sep 12, 2013 6:57 am

The issue I'm having with mousebumples other works ie; her stickies, threads and other such is that I'm aware of them but trying to work it in without touching on rule violations. I've actually researched her considerably, she was one of the first authors I was aware of when I joined the WA so I do feel this is highly worth pursuing even if time consuming. Lord knows even if it fails its worth pursuing. Bumples has done fantastic work on site. More than I hope to achieve in my time here lol
G.A #236; Renewable Energy Installations (Repealed)
G.A #239; Vehicle Emissions Convention (Repealed).
G.A #257; Reducing Automobile Emissions (Repealed).
G.A #263; Uranium Mining Standards Act
G.A #279; Right of Emigration
G.A #292; Nuclear Security Convention
(Co-Author)
G.A #363; Preservation of Artefacts (repealed)
S.C #118; Commend SkyDip
S.C #120; Commend Mousebumples
S.C #122; Condemn Gest
S.C #124; Commend Bears Armed
S.C #125; Commend The Bruce
S.C #126; Commend Sanctaria
S.C #131: Commend NewTexas
(Co-Author)
S.C #136; Repeal "Liberate St Abbaddon" (Co-Author)
S.C #143; Commend Hobbesistan
S.C #146; Repeal "Liberate Hogwarts"

User avatar
Alqania
Minister
 
Posts: 2548
Founded: Aug 03, 2011
Ex-Nation

Postby Alqania » Thu Sep 12, 2013 7:13 am

"The Queendom proudly supports a commendation of our Mousebumplian colleagues", said Princess Christine. "Opposition from the Siamese twin nations of Unibot and Mahaj is of course one of many arguments in favour."
Queendom of Alqania
Amor vincit omnia et nos cedamus amori
Former Speaker of the Gay Regional Parliament
Represented in the WA by Ambassador Lord Raekevikinfo
and Deputy Ambassador Princess Christineinfo
Author of GA#178
Member of UNOG and the Stonewall Alliance

User avatar
Mallorea and Riva
Game Moderator
 
Posts: 9237
Founded: Sep 29, 2010
Benevolent Dictatorship

Postby Mallorea and Riva » Thu Sep 12, 2013 7:26 am

Unibot III wrote:I would be more interested in this resolution, if Mousebumples wasn't a member of AO and didn't get caught in those leaks from AO that showed her dissing a lot of players and didn't play a role in organizing campaigns to disrupt the WA Votes of regions (e.g., Texas, 10000 Islands, Osiris.. and, just speculating, Europeia).

But nonetheless, if you're going to commend Mousebumples, you should probably note her contributions to her school of thought: NatSov. She wrote a few guides regarding NatSov and has always been a fierce proponent of it (to the point where I think she regularly abused her position as a mentor, but I digress).

She also helped run a (fairly-biased-towards-NatSov) tutorial on the GA in Europeia, which was organized by Sky-Dip (?).

For you of all people to say this is absurd. Truly absurd.
Ideological Bulwark #253
Retired Charter Nation: Political Affairs in Antarctic Oasis
Retired Major and Field Marshal of The Black Hawks
Retired Colonel of DEN Central Command, now defunct
Former Delegate of The South Pacific, winner of TSP's "Best Dali" Award
Retired Secretary of Defense of Stargate
Terror of The Joint Systems Alliance
Mall Isaraider, son of Tram and Spartz, Brother of Jakker, Tal, and apparently Sev the treacherous bastard.
Frattastan quote of the month: "I don't think chatting with someone over the Internet about casual topics falls under faithful or unfaithful. :<"

User avatar
The Dourian Embassy
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1547
Founded: Nov 15, 2007
Ex-Nation

Postby The Dourian Embassy » Thu Sep 12, 2013 8:41 am

Unibot III wrote:I would be more interested in this resolution, if Mousebumples wasn't a member of AO and didn't get caught in those leaks from AO that showed her dissing a lot of players and didn't play a role in organizing campaigns to disrupt the WA Votes of regions (e.g., Texas, 10000 Islands, Osiris.. and, just speculating, Europeia).

But nonetheless, if you're going to commend Mousebumples, you should probably note her contributions to her school of thought: NatSov. She wrote a few guides regarding NatSov and has always been a fierce proponent of it (to the point where I think she regularly abused her position as a mentor, but I digress).

She also helped run a (fairly-biased-towards-NatSov) tutorial on the GA in Europeia, which was organized by Sky-Dip (?).


I bolded the erroneous part of your post there.

Anyone who actually looked at those leaks, would see you're blowing that way out of proportion. I'm not going to come out and say it looks like you're rewriting history here, but uh, it sure looks like that's what you're trying to do.

And even if you were right(which you aren't), so what? Why is any of that a big deal?

As for the rest, Mousebumples is one of the most deserving players of a commendation. Considering just how ridiculous I honestly believe condemnations and commendations to be, that's saying something.
Last edited by The Dourian Embassy on Thu Sep 12, 2013 8:44 am, edited 2 times in total.
Treize Dreizehn, President of Douria.

cause ain't no such things as halfway crooks

User avatar
Abacathea
Minister
 
Posts: 2057
Founded: Nov 17, 2012
Ex-Nation

Postby Abacathea » Thu Sep 12, 2013 8:47 am

Eist wrote:Thanks for contacting me privately!

The Security Council;

Recognizing the role of this esteemed assembly in enshrining nations of infamy and exceptional contribution alike in the annals of the World Assembly archives.


This is irrelevant to the topic at hand. It’s filler and should be removed.

Dismayed; that a nation, who has contributed so much to the known universe and those who reside within it, has gone overlooked by this esteemed council for so long and therefore resolving to correct this grevious error post haste;


Irrelevant. If it wasn’t so, then you wouldn’t be trying to commend her—we know that this is the case already without you posting it. Say why she is important without simply stating “She’s kind of a big deal and the SC has fucked up not commending her already” without the evidence to back this up.


I've left this for now I do feel the SC has fucked up overlooking her, and what follows should back it up, its just my writing style, but I may remove it later.

Eist wrote:
Observing that the nation of Mousebumples has contributed no less than 14 General Assembly resolutions and 2 Security Council resolutions to the World Assembly with the laudable approach of bettering the universe as a whole for those who reside within, including;
• WA#103 International Drug Education
• WA#124 Essential Medication Act
• WA#217 Biomedical Donor Rights


Spelling corrections, but otherwise reasonable. Not sure why you chose these ones specifically. Anyway, my suggestion would be:

“Observing that Mousebumples has contributed fourteen General Assembly and two Security Council resolutions that enrich the lives of all WA residents, including;

Do you see how much more simple and *clean* this is? It really gets rid of the crap, while simultaneously stressing that these resolutions have improved the lives of all people.


Edited accordingly.

Eist wrote:
Further observing that the contributions of Mousebumples to the World Assembly do not stop merely at the authoring of acts of significance, but also the co-authoring of passages and general assistance and advice this nation provides to nations who seek it out.


The second part—Mouse as a mentor to others—is way more important than her co-authorships. You even giving it the same amount of importance as her lead authorships degrades them. Incorporate her co-authorships into the paragraph with her main authorships and make her helping the NS world a paragraph on its own. You need to research this further.

Noting that the achievements of this great nation are not confined solely to that of the World Assembly body, that the nation of Mousebumples has led Monkey Island as a strong and fair leader for a considerable term, and that it is anticipated and hoped that this will remain the status quo for time to come.


Needs more research and perhaps should be incorporated into the shortened paragraph above.


Tidied up for now, may add more later but for now cleaned up significantly.

Eist wrote:
Thankful for the literature Mousebumples has provided for new nations and old alike, to clear up any misgivings or queries regarding the universe and that which operates within it, as well as this nations willingness to provide support to its fellow nations.


Ditto. Also, “its”, not “it’s”.


Fixed I think.

Eist wrote:
Believing that Mousebumples is among one of the nations who has truly contributed to the universe as we know it and should be recognised accordingly in the Security Council archives as both a mark of respect and an encouragement to new nations and old alike to follow in their path,

Hereby;
Commends Mousebumples


Spelling, again. Ditto, again. This is just fluff—not really addressing why the nation should be commended, but, rather, just there because you think the resolution should be some arbitrary minimum length. It doesn’t, and you shouldn’t think it should be. Check for formatting inconsistencies. Hope this helps!


I do personally wish to leave it, it's not so much about length,although I do believe it shouldn't be too short and sweet either. It's my personal writing approach to resolutions more than what has been ingrained in me.

All in all thanks for the feedback, a lot of changes have been implemented based off it and while I still have considerable work left to do, there's now a strong skeleton in place for the flesh to come thereafter.
G.A #236; Renewable Energy Installations (Repealed)
G.A #239; Vehicle Emissions Convention (Repealed).
G.A #257; Reducing Automobile Emissions (Repealed).
G.A #263; Uranium Mining Standards Act
G.A #279; Right of Emigration
G.A #292; Nuclear Security Convention
(Co-Author)
G.A #363; Preservation of Artefacts (repealed)
S.C #118; Commend SkyDip
S.C #120; Commend Mousebumples
S.C #122; Condemn Gest
S.C #124; Commend Bears Armed
S.C #125; Commend The Bruce
S.C #126; Commend Sanctaria
S.C #131: Commend NewTexas
(Co-Author)
S.C #136; Repeal "Liberate St Abbaddon" (Co-Author)
S.C #143; Commend Hobbesistan
S.C #146; Repeal "Liberate Hogwarts"

User avatar
The Dourian Embassy
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1547
Founded: Nov 15, 2007
Ex-Nation

Postby The Dourian Embassy » Thu Sep 12, 2013 9:17 am

I think you can talk about the mentor work through describing her assistance to "developing nations", which gives you an in character outlet to work with.

Something like, "Further observing that the achievements of this great nation are not confined solely to that of the World Assembly body, but the provision of general assistance and advice to developing nations as well as to their individual region of Monkey Island to which they have been a strong and fair leader for a considerable term."

I also think that in order to flesh this out, you oughta expand the bits about her resolutions. She has so many, you might want to spend some time talking about why Biomedical Donor Rights is so important. In fact, talking about 217-219 all at once might be worth your time. The Missing Person's Act(151), and The Essential Medications Act(124) might be worth two more clauses as well. I can perhaps write a few up for you when I get home tonight.
Treize Dreizehn, President of Douria.

cause ain't no such things as halfway crooks

User avatar
Abacathea
Minister
 
Posts: 2057
Founded: Nov 17, 2012
Ex-Nation

Postby Abacathea » Thu Sep 12, 2013 9:23 am

The Dourian Embassy wrote:I think you can talk about the mentor work through describing her assistance to "developing nations", which gives you an in character outlet to work with.

Something like, "Further observing that the achievements of this great nation are not confined solely to that of the World Assembly body, but the provision of general assistance and advice to developing nations as well as to their individual region of Monkey Island to which they have been a strong and fair leader for a considerable term."

I also think that in order to flesh this out, you oughta expand the bits about her resolutions. She has so many, you might want to spend some time talking about why Biomedical Donor Rights is so important. In fact, talking about 217-219 all at once might be worth your time. The Missing Person's Act(151), and The Essential Medications Act(124) might be worth two more clauses as well. I can perhaps write a few up for you when I get home tonight.


I hate relying on others to write acts for me. I take far too much pride in my work and I sincerely hope that doesn't come across as pompous arrogance it's not meant to be.

You have given me some ideas here though that ill play with and seek your feedback on when finished. Would that be ok?
Thanks for the current advice TDE, always appreciated.
G.A #236; Renewable Energy Installations (Repealed)
G.A #239; Vehicle Emissions Convention (Repealed).
G.A #257; Reducing Automobile Emissions (Repealed).
G.A #263; Uranium Mining Standards Act
G.A #279; Right of Emigration
G.A #292; Nuclear Security Convention
(Co-Author)
G.A #363; Preservation of Artefacts (repealed)
S.C #118; Commend SkyDip
S.C #120; Commend Mousebumples
S.C #122; Condemn Gest
S.C #124; Commend Bears Armed
S.C #125; Commend The Bruce
S.C #126; Commend Sanctaria
S.C #131: Commend NewTexas
(Co-Author)
S.C #136; Repeal "Liberate St Abbaddon" (Co-Author)
S.C #143; Commend Hobbesistan
S.C #146; Repeal "Liberate Hogwarts"

User avatar
The Palentine
Diplomat
 
Posts: 588
Founded: May 18, 2005
Left-Leaning College State

Postby The Palentine » Thu Sep 12, 2013 12:07 pm

Unibot III wrote:I would be more interested in this resolution, if Mousebumples wasn't a member of AO and didn't get caught in those leaks from AO that showed her dissing a lot of players and didn't play a role in organizing campaigns to disrupt the WA Votes of regions (e.g., Texas, 10000 Islands, Osiris.. and, just speculating, Europeia).

But nonetheless, if you're going to commend Mousebumples, you should probably note her contributions to her school of thought: NatSov. She wrote a few guides regarding NatSov and has always been a fierce proponent of it (to the point where I think she regularly abused her position as a mentor, but I digress).

She also helped run a (fairly-biased-towards-NatSov) tutorial on the GA in Europeia, which was organized by Sky-Dip (?).


Its times like these, Spanky, that I wonder why you crawled out of one of the pits of Hell in order to infect the Snakepit with your presense once again. Begone foul demon and never darken our towels again!

Back to the subject at hand. I support a commendation of mousey. I've been a member of her region since about 2006-2007. As a leader of the region she's been benevolent and welcoming to newcomers to the region(...well there were a few suspected raiders that were chased out). as others have stated she's been helpful in drafting legilation, and in our own region has done a little bit in schooling us in the region about proper resolution writing. Throughot her long Tenure of being delegate she's kept the regioon up to date on what is going on in the snakepit, and lets us know how she is voting, and even asks for feedback(personally I see that as silly, but of course I'm from the AO where we don't do the democratic thingy very well. :p ) The biggest knock against her is that she is a rabid Green Bay Packers fan, but then nobody's perfect.
Excelsior,
Sen. Horatio Sulla
"There aren't quite as many irredeemable folks as everyone thinks."
-The Dourian Embassy

"Yeah, but some (like Sen. Sulla) have to count for, like 20 or 30 all by themselves."
-Hack

User avatar
Solorni
Minister
 
Posts: 3024
Founded: Sep 04, 2007
Ex-Nation

Postby Solorni » Thu Sep 12, 2013 12:09 pm

Frattastan II wrote:
Mahaj wrote:Because of all those leaks, I don't think Mousebumples is a particularly commendable nominee.


Right, because other Commendees never were disrespectful to other players, privately or publicly.

Wait wait wait wait. How are Unibot and Mahaj saying this? :P
Lovely Queen of Balder
Proud Delegate of WALL

Lucky Number 13

User avatar
Krioval
Minister
 
Posts: 2449
Founded: Jan 24, 2005
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Krioval » Thu Sep 12, 2013 1:10 pm

The Imperial Chiefdom has had strong relations with Mousebumples for a long time. We remember working with their delegation in the NSUN to create the Universal Library Coalition. Their ambassador was unfailingly polite to our delegation even on contentious points we raised, and we ultimately reached an eminently satisfactory resolution in time. We were thrilled to play a small role in reinvigorating their activity in the WA, and believe that they are due a commendation for their efforts. We have enclosed a sample below for comment or adaptation for this proposal:

RECOGNIZING the tireless dedication of the Mousebumples delegation to the betterment of the World Assembly, including:

1. The authorship of several strong resolutions (insert resolutions here)
2. The ability to draw together differing groups in search of reasonable legislative compromise,
3. Maintaining impeccable diplomatic decorum in their public dealings in the Assembly, and
4. Providing advice and assistance to new proposal authors, even in opposition to the legislation in question.


Thank you for your time.

Tau Kriov
Imperial Chiefdom of Krioval

Next

Advertisement

Remove ads

Return to WA Archives

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users

Advertisement

Remove ads