The Astyrian Network

[Hindia Belanda]

Briefings from the Commonwealth - 5 February 2020

[Great Nortend]

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WEEKEND · 8–9 FEBRUARY MMXX · PRINTED IN LENDERT · THREEPENCE

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HOUSEWIFERY : A VITAL SKILL—MRS. G. C. Hetler

  SINCE it was popularised by Mrs. Harker over 150 years ago in “Mrs. Harker's Guide to Housewifery”, the “Five Cs” have formed a concise expression of what the fairer sex should concern themselves with—the housekeeping, the cooking, the children and the church. It is a testament to the efforts of the Rev’d Dr. Fengold, the Very Rev’d Professour de Rutland that since then, theological and liturgical education has improved so very much, for both boys and girls.

  To-day, over six monarchs later, Mrs. Harker's guide remains in print in its 23rd edition, and graces many a reading desk as the standard text-book for our girls studying Housewifery in the fourth and fifth forms. Indeed, it is the most popular supplementary paper for girls, taken by over 63 per cent of girls in board schools.

  Competency in the Five Cs remains one of the top factors considered by bachelors and their parents. In a survey of 1,000 working and middling class bachelors and their parents, over 33 per cent listed the attribute as the most important when deciding upon the suitability of a maiden as wife, behind only physical attractiveness, affection and compatibility. Furthermore, over 74 per cent listed it in their top five.

  Yet despite its wide popularity, self-proclaimed “reformers” such as Mr. Bakewell and Miss Lange-Fellows belittle this important subject, claiming that it has no relevancy for the modern woman.
Incredibly, both Mr. Bakewell and Miss Lange-Fellows retain housekeepers and we are informed by Mr. Jessup of the Morning Herald that Mr. Bakewell is known to employ a cook. Perhaps these reformers live in a society of ladies, all of whom able to afford a retinue of staff to be waited upon day and night.

  The situation for the vast majority of Erbonian families is very different. For many, even sending out collars and cuffs is beyond their wherewithal, not to mention putting out the the cookery and cleaning and mending and sewing and nursing and accounts and shopping. For these families, a woman with practical skills in all of the household departments is essential. This is achieved through a systematic and solid grounding in the art and science of housewifery.

  It is even, perhaps, more important for those girls who do not have the luxury of a betrothal and engagement or place at home. Nearly 40 per cent of girls leaving school enter into domestic or commercial service, nearly all thereof from the working classes. Apart from the muddled and unsystematic imbibing of knowledge from their own mothers, which is apt to promote unscientific and foolish practices, where else are girls to learn the skills necessary to secure themselves a place at a reputable household?

  It is true that many girls are fortunate enough to be invited to the manor house or to some other upstanding establishment for general training in their vocation. Yet even there, long gone are the days of the uneducated and dim-witted maid. Somewhere around three-quarters of staff agencies require girls to have at least a Fourth Form Report in Housewifery, if not a School Certificate.

  We can see in other countries where rigorous instruction in the domestic skills has lapsed, and women are forced to spend years studying the natural, physical and theoretical sciences, advanced mathematics, esoteric humanities and foreign languages. No doubt, these are valuable subjects, but they are of relatively little use in the ordinary running of a household, where the more practical analogues would seem to be cookery, accounting, the raising of children, and religious studies.

  Miss Lange-Fellows argues that women should be encouraged to enter the professional world as they do in such other countries, with the same pay as their male equals, and that the liberation of the woman is in the rejection of the ideal of the housewife.

  The lady fails to also point out that throughout history, women tend to only enter the public workforce in exigent circumstances. In these foreign countries to which Miss Lange-Fellows looks with such admiration, the cost of living has increased so greatly that the men are unable to support their families on a single wage. Consequently, the market for domestic staff has declined so dramatically that even well-off households rarely keep any staff, let alone a retinue of cook, maid and nurse.

  These women are forced to take jobs in other sectors generally in our country taken by more middling class young girls. The girls pushed out thereby are then forced to study excessively in law, medicine, science, engineering, business and commerce, bound to work till the end of their earthly lives, apart from their children, family and friends. Is this the kind of drudgery Miss Lange-Fellows argues for and even desires?

  I find it hard to believe that we women innately desire to work as their men-folk do. Certainly, we are kept in pleasant freedom at home, free to attend Mattins, Mass, Nones and even Vespers daily, visit friends and take recreation, yet with time to cook three meals a day and keep house with the innovation of labour-saving devices such as the electric iron, the washing machine and the gas range. We have it much easier than the women that preceded us—why would we wish to throw it all away for a hectic life of work?

  

[Great Nortend]

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WEDNESDAY· 19 FEBRUARY MMXX · PRINTED IN LENDERT · THREEPENCE

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BISHOP ADMONISHES PRIEST

  THE Lord Bishop of Lendert and Cadell has issued an informal monition to the Vicar of St Michael and All Angel's, Fottering, the Very Rev'd Mr. Peter Halifax, who is also Dean of Fottering, over a sermon which he preached at the Mass at Candelmas. The sermon, which promoted the unorthodox practice of the ordination in holy orders of ladies, caused consternation among the congregation, parish, deanery and nationally. The diocesan bishop, Cardinal Dr. Alan Gough, was forced to publish letters missive affirming the Church of Nortend's doctrine on the matter, which restricts ordination to males only.

  Mr. Halifax's sermon has not been published; however, the general gist of it appears to be that there is no reason to not ordain women to the diaconate, there being historical precedent for deaconesses in the early Church. Dr. Gough in his letters missive acknowledged that deaconesses are present in the history of the Church; however, he stressed that they only existed in times of necessity owing to the fact that under persecution it was not always possible to find suitable men to ordain. He also emphasised that there is no historical precedent for the ordination of females to the priesthood in the early Church or in any of the Catholic Churches, and that it would be contrary to law, history and practice.

  The Regal Post understands that Mr. Halifax is known locally for his more Protestant theology. He is alleged to habitually forego the wearing of the massing cope at Mass, which is referred to in published notices as the Communion. Furthermore, parishioners have previously cited Mr. Halifax to the Consistory Court over his neglect to say Mattins and Vespers daily in church, for which he received a formal monition. It is believed that Mr. Halifax had agreed to abide by the Canon law requiring the same, and that he received no further punishment.

  

[Great Nortend]

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FRIDAY· 28 FEBRUARY MMXX · PRINTED IN LENDERT · THREEPENCE

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FIRE ABOARD CITY AND MET—TWO DEAD; SCORES INJURED

  A FIRE broke out yesterday evening on the Fitcherden line of the Lendert-with-Cadell City and Metropolitan Railway which claimed the lives of two gentlemen. The fire was discovered in the second second class compartment of the fourth carriage of an down train from Halton Street Station soon after departure from Pomleed Road Station as the train was travelling through the underground tunnel to St George's Street Station. The fire quickly engulfed the compartment and spread into the adjoining compartments, suffocating the passengers with acrid smoke.

  The two passengers who perished were seated in the compartment where the fire first began. It is alleged that the emergency cord was pulled by a passenger; however, owing to the narrowness of the tunnel, it was impossible to stop therein, and the train was forced to continue another half mile to St George's Street Station, whereat upon arrival evacuation measures were put in place. The carriage was quickly isolated by uncoupling the train at the aft and fore thereof and hand-extinguishers used in an attempt to lessen the flames.

  It was reported that several managed to pull some of their unconscious fellow passengers from the adjoining compartments. The senior porter Mr. Allan Smilders and the station-master Mr. Richard Channing were seen heading into the compartment to rescue those left behind, with only a handkerchief to stop the smoke overwhelming them. Firemen arrived within three minutes of the train's arrival and quickly managed to douse the flames, removing the severely charred corpses from the second compartment.

  It is extremely fortunate that there were not more casualties, especially given the reported ferocity of the fire. The two gentlemen deceased have yet to been identified by the constabulary at the time of printing. Twenty-six people were immediate transported to St Benedict's Hospital five miles away in Hadgrave in ambulances for serious burns and smoke inhalation, whilst another twenty-four or so were treated at local hospitals for smoke inhalation, minor burns and injuries.

  It is not currently known what the cause of the fire is; however, the Fire Brigade has tentatively suggested that it began on the floor of the carriage. The train in question was an electrical train, and investigations are proceeding to determine whether the cause was electrical. The City and Metropolitan Railway said in a statement that it deeply regretted the incident and would be reviewing its maintenance and emergency procedures in the coming weeks. It praised the swift actions of platform staff at St George's Street Station, and especially Mr. Smilders and Mr. Channing for their heroic efforts in entering the flaming carriage and rescuing passengers which put themselves in harm's way.

  Fitcherden Line trains which were suspended last evening, will begin running again this morning.
  

[Valkea]

[Del Monsa]

[Great Nortend]

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WEDNESDAY· 18 MARCH MMXX · PRINTED IN LENDERT · THREEPENCE

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INLAND QUARANTINE PULLS US TOGETHER BUT APART

  THE extension of quarantine measures to the whole of the country in a valiant effort to defend the country from the vanguard of the Marimba flu has mobilised the latent war-time mentality of our people. With quarantine passports issued by the King's Clerk, the Regal Post is able to report on the actions taken to safeguard the population as hundreds are infected with the deadly flu abroad.

  Every town and village is under lock-down and members of the Royal Army, Home Service, Constabulary, Navy Royal and Home Fleet stand picquet at all hours to control the ingress and egress of all persons at the perimeter of each quarantine region. No man may enter a quarantine region without lawful reason under new regulations issued by the King's Clerk in His Majesty's name. Millions of emergency passports are being printed, as all men require a stamped authority to enter a quarantine region. For now, the list of valid reasons is long; however, their main purpose at the present time is to ensure that the movements of persons is well recorded in the event of an outbreak.

  In infected regions, rationing will be implemented for the first time since the Great War. Already, Sorredge, which has three persons with the Marimba flu hospitalised at St Mary's Hospital, has issued ration books to every person by household in the event that the infection escapes into the wider community. This will be coupled with stronger quarantine measures, including mandatory curfews, the closure of all non-essential shops and businesses, and limits on the movement of people. Under the Clerk's regulations, in the event of a localised epidemic, only one person per household shall be permitted to venture out into the street per day, and he or she must wear gloves, a mask and clothing covering all parts of the body which must be washed thereafter.

  For now though, communities are banding together in the fight to maintain the health of all. Hoarding has been strictly forbidden by responsible grocers whilst anti-infection bye-laws are being passed to prevent close contact amongst members of the community by maintaining at least a two-yard distance between persons. Many parishes have also extended bye-laws to the forbidding of the giving of handshakes with un-gloved hands, and the staggering Mass times to allow for greater spacing between persons in pews. Parishioners have been encouraged to attend on other days than Sunday, or to attend Mattins, Nones or Vespers in lieu.

  Hospitals all across the country are preparing for the worst, and factories are busy manufacturing the necessary medical appliances for the treatment of flu victims. Already hundreds of people are presenting to hospital with symptoms of the common cold and hospital authorities are urging patients to stay at home and call for their general practitioner rather than taking a journey to hospital and risking spreading infection as they go. Laundries are also being overwhelmed with cuffs and collars as men and women rush to clean them from potential disease. Ladies have taken to wearing veils again, and mouth-masks are a hot commodity for the prevention of infection.

  Despite the lack of epidemic in Great Nortend proper, quarantine measures are already taking a toll on the oeconomy and business. Trade is severely disrupted, and transport services have been drastically cut back to stem infection. The Eastern Main Line, for instance, has been reduced to a three-hourly stopping service each way from its normal hourly stopping service. Many branch-lines are only running morning, noon and evening, and omnibus routes shut entirely. In Lendert-with-Cadell, trams continue to run, but mouth-masks are now common sights on the streets.

  The Government has reiterated the imperative duty of all subjects to act in the greater good of the country in such times of crisis. We are enjoined to stand firm against the Marimba flu, yet not forget the deadly consequences of complacency.
  

[Del Monsa]

[Mizialand]

Prince Pierre with his son Robert.

On the night of 7th July 1999, in his room at St. George's boarding school, 17 year old Prince Pierre Vincent was preparing for his last paper of the Pre University Examinations. He scored a brilliant 8,9 in his Calculus II paper, perhaps because HRH Sophie Vincent had decided not to inform him of the events that had transpired that night on the grounds of the royal palace. A massacre had taken place at the residence of the monarchy. 15 members of the royal family died, all belonging to the Vincent dynasty. HRH Sophie Vincent, who was crowned the Queen two years ago had survived. Queen Mother AmberlynnLaPierre Vincent and King Lucien Vincent were among the dead, which included any potential claimant to the throne. For HRH the further course of action was clear - an inquiry committee was set up which named Robin Hébras, a member of the Republican Socialist Party (RSA) as the preparator. Leadership of that party was sentenced to death - the first time the death penalty was used in the last 50 years. National emergency was imposed, which would continue for the remaining year, the Parliament was suspended indefinitely , and Sophie Vincent ruled by decree for almost a year - jailing opponents and the "opposing nobility", massacring almost the entirety of RSA, and abolishing royal titles except that of the surviving family. Lèse-majesté was applied with full force and any claims to any conspiracy regrading the massacre, including denial of the official narrative, invited severe penalties under the law.

It was under such conditions that young Pierre returned home. The death of his family naturally left him devastated. Much before the tragedy, Pierre had declared to his mother that he would never lay any claim to throne. That meant one thing - then 26 year old Sophie was to ascend to the throne in 1997. All monarchs have been women since 1912 and they will continue to be - since the present heir apparent is also a woman, though she is not exactly royal blood. However we should not forget that despite this fact, the Mizia society is quintessentially patriarchal. What exists for men has to be demanded for women and this is task every female monarch is upto. Mere ascension to throne, does not, in Mizialand, ensure the reign of the monarch. The task is set forth - consolidation of her position lest she be left as a mere puppet in the hands of the nobility. The nobility resists the monarchy. Mizia throne has been a contest between the female authority and the male nobility. Since 1912 this authority had to be imposed. The challenge has been humungous - get the support of nobility or be ready to be replaced. The nobility is not opposed to women monarchs but wants them to be puppet regents at best and seat warmers for the upcoming nobility at worst. In 1997, as young Sophie ascended the throne, the patriarchal nobility had its eye on the prize. Keeping conspiracies aside, Sophie’s task was made relatively easy by the 1999 massacre. Kingship knows no kinship and the massacre had ended the kinship. Many relatives were exiled on pretence of aiding the massacre as a part of wider conspiracy to overthrow the Vincent dynasty. Trust none was the mantra. Democratic reforms to fast-track Lorecia Community (LC) accession was the goal. Nobility had to be destroyed, even if the pretence was democracy. “We cannot live in a page out of feudal history.” HRH had declared in 2000 as she presented “Road Map to Democracy: Political Freedom Now” agenda. The dawn of the millennia found Mizialand in turmoil and it was this turmoil 17 year old Pierre returned home to.

Concurrent with the conspiracies implicating HRH Sophie Vincent (the discussion of which still remains banned under Lèse-majesté), another set of conspiracies emerged - these involved young Pierre. The latter, as the coming decade would show, turn out to be true. Hélène Françoise had been teaching Year 12 at St. George’s for past 12 years in 1997. Father Luis, the then Principal of St. Geroge’s recalls, “I was against hiring her, but the school board decided none the less to go ahead - they were too afraid of discriminatory lawsuits. But we never had any problems with her. Two years into her teaching, she married (it was her second one), in 96, she divorced, but no, she was beautiful, head smart, anyone would be lucky to have her but she had her bad share of luck. There was rumours of IPV (in partner violence), sometimes we heard screams coming in dead of night from her house, but we decided to leave the matter. It wasn’t our place to say anything. As far as her partners were concerned, she was unlucky, until of course…”

When Pierre returned after completing his schooling, rumours about his relations with Hélène began. Some even suggested that they maintained relations while Pierre was in school. The staff and Pierre’s classmates deny such rumours. “They weren’t close. Pierre never asked any questions. He was shy. I don’t think they ever talked anything other than what was necessary.”, recalls one of the prince’s classmates. For the coming decade, Pierre and Hélène began secret courtship. Tabloids and paparazzi diverted their attention, trying to scrounge whatever was available. In July 2010, Blitz, a tabloid published scandalous report that Pierre and Hélène had a child out of wedlock. This revelation was sure to invite penalty under lèse-majesté but surprisingly Pierre himself confirmed the scandal. “Yes, we have a child and we do not plan on getting married anytime soon.” This was the headline of almost all newspapers that day. For the monarchy it was what could be best equated with ‘dereliction of duty’ the duty being upholding moral values. Naturally a question arouse whether HRH could tolerate so and she did. In a rare public appearance, she said, “ A woman’s destiny is not her own. She is defined by the relations of her husband. She is a daughter, wife, mother, daughter in law, mother in law, sister, even her friend’s are not her own - her husband’s friends wife’s are her friends. Her personal relations remain defined by her family. Marriage is a contract. Consent is required for contract. Here we have two individuals who do not consent to marriage. I cannot understand what is wrong with that. A woman’s choice is her own as a man’s is his. I support Pierre’s decision. The decision to marry is up to them.” The Royal Family not only owned up to this ‘scandal’ but also accepted it as a norm. A Chinese wall between public and private life was emphasised as were the realisation, not merely the existence of the rights of a woman. Marriage is a private affair and the royal family attested that.

In 2017, in a low key, private ceremony Hélène and Pierre got married. In 2018, HRH announced Hélène Vincent as the heir apparent. The modern royal family does not contradict its duty and modernity. It has worked to bring in changes in Mizia political and social life, the best example of the former being voluntary, gradual, sustained, and successful transition to democracy. The royalty supports social changes, yet it does not want such changes to be thrust from above. Societal changes come when the society itself changes. Legislation and punishments can only work to an extent. Any change has to be gradual, brought about by the society itself in a bottom up manner. The royal family reflects this - it balances its duty with modernity and in the words of HRH “adapting to the changing time”

It is these changing times that Hélène Vincent will find herself in when she ascends the throne. She will not have to face the problem of ‘consolidating’ her position or dealing with the nobility but a more precarious one - a society that lives in contradiction. One that claims equal voice and opportunity for women but denies them equal value.

The author is a gender studies professor at Heleventia University. Views expressed are personal.

[Great Nortend]

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MONDAY· 4 MAY MMXX · PRINTED IN LENDERT · THREEPENCE

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TELEPHONE EXPANSION CALLING?

  THE General Post Office's telephone network currently links every one of the 8,933 post offices and over 2,000,000 subscribers across the country with the international telephone network. However, connection of new subscribers has stagnated in the last two decades, with only 20,000 new subscribers signing up between 2000 and 2020.

  Sixty-five per cent of subscribers are considered domestic subscribers. However, despite statistics shewing that over 80 per cent of households “regularly” use telephones for communication, only 20 per cent of these have a telephone in their house. The rest must make a trip to the local public telephone to both make and receive calls. This necessitates the planning of telephone conversations which is typically accomplished by sending the customary telephone card by post or courier or by making arrangements some other way.

  Naturally this arrangement is advantageous to the Post Office which in many cases will receive both the telephone charge (approximately sixpence a call) and the postage fees of the request and often-times the reply, although the reply is nowadays not often sent when the answer is in the affirmative. Given this difficulty in arranging telephone calls and their price, the prevailing public opinion is that they must be reserved for special occasions.

  However, the telephone is used with great effect amongst the more prosperous classes, and it has become an indispensable tool of modern communication, neatly slotting in after the venerable letter and the 19th century telegramme. It has become popular for people to spend hours making conversation over the telephone when they are far apart, each comfortably at his own home. Why then, is it not enjoyed by the vast majority of the middling and working classes?

  The answer, of course, lies in money. It is often prohibitively expensive to erect a new line when one does not expect to use the telephone with any frequency. The line connection fees too, are currently quoted at nearly £4 a year, without also considering the telephone rental cost (£1·2·0) and telephone call fees themselves (one penny for local calls per minute plus a fourpence switchboard fee). In addition, the Post Office requires a detailed survey of the electrical wiring of the property, and also prevents applications made by “persons of an undesirable nature”. Compared with a public telephone, which only costs sixpence for up to two minutes, it is no wonder that households are subscribing like cats from water.

  The lack of welcome afforded to new subscribers has been attributed to policy decisions made at the highest echelons of the Post Office. Many senior officers are worried about the impact increased accessibility to telephone calls may make on the volume of personal letters and telegrammes, which make up the bulk of the Post Office's £25·2 million annual takings. The Postmaster-General, Mr. James Kinson, earlier this year reiterated the government's stance that no changes will be made to the current process for signing up new telephone subscribers. However, there have been rumblings that major commercial companies have been lobbying the government to change their position, arguing that increased access to the telephone will benefit the oeconomy as a whole.

  Whilst it is not certain, it seems that for the near future at least Nortchmen will continue to have to stand around in draughty telephone boxes waiting for the line to be connected.
  

[Great Nortend]

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TUESDAY· 31 MARCH MMXX · PRINTED IN LENDERT · THREEPENCE

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MERCY FLIGHT FOR NORDENSTATERS AND HINDIA BELANDANS

  THE flag carrier of Hindia Belanda, Air Nederlands Indië, has announced two repatriation flights for subjects of the Nordenstat-Hindia Belandan Crown and their dependants in response to the growing Marimba flu crisis which has seen countries across the globe forced into quarantine and provoked the King to issue a rare Royal Proclamation restricting entry to Erbonian subjects only. The flights will be operated out of Royal St. Christopher's Airport on the 4th and 8th of April and all persons wishing to take advantage of these flights must register with the Hindia Belandan government.

  To register, persons are advised to urgently send a telegramme or write first class to the Hindia Belandan embassy (Telegraphic address : EMBHIND) at 27 Halton Street, Lendert-with-Cadell in order to register for a flight. Telegrammes and letters must specify :
• Names of travellers
• Dates of birth
• Nationality
• Passport No.
• Passport expiration date
• A postal address
• If possible, a telephone number.
• Desired date of travel (4th or 8th of April)
Please note that it is not advised that persons telephone the Embassy, on account of the difficulties in taking large numbers of calls at this time. Passengers will receive either a telegramme or telephone call to confirm their details and booking. If persons are able to access the Internet, registrations can be taken thereon at the Web-site http : // www . gov . hb / travel / repatriation2020.

  The Hindia Belandan embassy has advised that whilst consular assistance will be available at Royal St. Christopher's Airport, the Embassy will not be providing transport to the Airport. Passengers must make their own arrangements to reach the Airport. Passengers are advised to check with their local railway company for train times. As of printing the tram-way between St. Christopher and Nevvings railway station and the Airport is operating normally. Passengers displaying any symptoms of the Marimba flu, such as fever, cold, difficulty breathing, coughing, sneezing or running noses will not be allowed to board the flight.

  NOTE all persons with symptoms of the Marimba flu, such as fever, cold, difficulty breathing, coughing, sneezing or running noses must so inform a police constable and are forbidden to leave their dwellings except in exigent circumstances, by His Majesty's Order in Council, under penalty of imprisonment and amercement not exceeding £1,000.
  

[Great Nortend]

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THURSDAY· 2 APRIL MMXX · PRINTED IN LENDERT · THREEPENCE

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TREASURY SAYS WASH YOUR COINS

  HIS MAJESTY'S Treasury has issued a statement assuring the public of the safety of the coin of the realm. All Erbonian coins are made of either bronze, silver or gold, all three of which have anti-bacterial properties. However, they are not effective against the viral Marimba flu, which is not spread by bacteria. Therefore, it is recommended that persons keep coin change in a separate, disposable pouch and wash them with soap and water once returned home.

  At this time, the Treasury does not recommend the use of banknotes, which are not in fact legal tender, owing to their potential to spread the Marimba flu virus as they cannot be washed without damage. Instead for large purchases, it is recommended that cheques be used. If one does not have a cheque facility, most banks have limited supplies of one pound, five pound and ten pound gold coins on hand.
  

DAFFODILS MAY BE SOURCE OF VIRUS-FIGHTING MEDICAMENT

  SCIENTISTS in Eamshire have been trialling medicaments produced from daffodils, which have been springing up across the country as the Whitsun term begins and Spring starts officially. Daffodils contain a chemical known as narcissine or in Latin, narcissinium, which is present throughout the plant, as well as in other Amaryllidaceaean species. The chemical is a toxic alkaloid which is supposed to have anti-viral and anti-bacterial qualities, and may even have anti-cancerial properties.

  Dr. George Hartlecook is a senior pharmacologist at Retman and Fieldings, the well-known Erbonian pharmaceutical company, who has been leading the team undertaking research into the properties of narcissine against the Marimba asterovirus. He told the Regal Post that preliminary trials on mice infected with the similar murine asterovirus, which infects predominantly laboratory mice, have been promising, with early results suggesting that [narcissine] actively inhibits the replication of the asterovirus resulting in a decline in mortality rates.

  Despite these results, Dr. Hartlecook is apprehensive as to the likelihood that a daffodil-derived cure could be coming to apothecaries across the world soon. It is of course too early to tell whether narcissine is viable for the cure, but scientists are working around the clock all across the globe in developing innovative and novel treatments in the fight against the the Marimba flu
  

[Nildwalden]

[Great Nortend]

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TUESDAY · 7 JULY MMXX · PRINTED IN LENDERT · THREEPENCE

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COLLEGE WIGS EYE STUDENTS ABROAD

  THE fellows of several university colleges across the country are looking towards overseas countries as a source of increased revenue and to counter claims that their elite institutions routinely deny matriculation to students on the basis of their working class backgrounds.

  The masters of All Saint's, Christ's, Holy Ghost, Prince's, Staithey and West College of the University of Aldersey, Pattermore and Castle College of the University of Limmes, and Rhighton and Trinity College of the University of Rhise have all expressed interest on behalf of their colleges with the Foreign Clerk, Sir George Drachington, who was himself educated at Wistfine College which is only open to the old boys of Chepingstow School.

  Over £50,000 will be spent by the Foreign Office to advertise Great Nortend's universities abroad, to attract students seeking a modern education in a traditional style founded upon the strong base of the liberal arts. Currently, there are 198 international students at the University of Aldersey, 112 at the University of Limmes and 43 at the University of Rhise. The Foreign Office is seeking to sign up at least 1,000 students, both undergraduate and graduate, over the next five years.

  University sources have expressed concerns that the potential “culture shock” of moving to Great Nortend to study would put off many would-be students, such as the strict university bye-laws, restrictions on electronic machines, and the high Latin proficiency required. However, the Foreign Office told the Regal Post that it is simply a matter of letting students know that study in Great Nortend is possible and is indeed a viable option for those seeking a high quality education across all fields.
  

[Great Nortend]

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WEDNESDAY· 15 JULY MMXX · PRINTED IN LENDERT · THREEPENCE

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CLAIMS OF CENSORSHIP RIDICULED

  FOOLISH claims by the Reformers’ Daily newspaper were yesterday thoroughly refuted by the King’s Clerk in the Commons in response to a Question by the Knight of Ganningshire East, Mr. Fair.

  The Reformers’ Daily on its Monday front page boldly claimed that the Government’s mooted changes to His Majesty’s Regulations for the Courts will forbid the presentation to the Court of evidence attacking the Government. It claimed thus that when applied with laws regulating truth in the press, the Regulations would “censor critics of the government in court” and that the Government were “[removing] any semblance of the freedom of the press”.

  The proposed new Regulations, of which there are two separate for the Common Chamber and King’ Chamber respectively, greatly expand on the sections relating to the laws of evidence. The rule in dispute, Rule 133 of the Regulations for the King’s Chamber, prevents the admission into evidence of documents which are deemed to be of “embarrassment to His Majesty”.

  The King’s Clerk said that the Reformers’ Daily’s article was based on a “schoolboy misunderstanding” of the law. The reference to “His Majesty” in the rule in fact refers to the Court, not to the King proper or the Government, as historically the King himself sat in the Court of King’s Chamber, whence cometh the name. Furthermore, Sir Billings recognised that the noun “embarrassment” could be understood in the Reformers’ Daily’s interpretation.

  However, he clarified to the Houses of Commons that in law, it referred to material which “embars” the process of trial and thus are “embarrassing” to the Court. He also noted that the equivalent rule for the Common Chamber, Rule 189, is expressed in the same terms, except substituting “His Majesty” with “The Court”, as well as reiterating that the expanded Regulations were in fact codifications of the existing body of chamber law.

  The Reformers’ Daily did not respond to a telegramme for comment before time of print.

  

[Hindia Belanda]

Briefings from the Commonwealth - 20 July 2020

[Slovertia]

Very Outdated.

[Hindia Belanda]

Briefings from the Commonwealth - Sunday 26 July 2020

[Slovertia]

Sloveti Times Front page 27th July 2020

[Slovertia]

[Mizialand]

FUTURE PROSPECTS REPORT OF THE LORECIAN COMMUNITY: THE NEW SICK MAN OF LORECIA

The following is the executive summary of the Future Prospects Report of the LC published by an independent St. Louis based think tank.

In 1912 when Mizialand plunged into a civil war, King Alexander II described it as "Lorecia's sick man" whose three linguistic groups were bound to be united at best and annexed at worst by the surrounding states. A century later the threat to Mizia unity has perished thanks to a strong centralised political system that reformed itself throughout the century to accommodate the political aspirations of the three linguistic groups. The polity remained united under the strong leadership of the Vincent dynasty which accommodated power sharing through consociationalism.

The efforts to create a united Lorecia is the principal victim of rising Lorscepticism that finds its causes among the various challenges facing the community. Support for economic integration - the raison d'etre for its creation is down in most of the LC members. The Mizia economic crisis of 2012 has drifited, if not strengthened the "fiscal without a monetary union". Centrifugal forces vile for greater economic independence from Bruningen. The LC will suffer from what Mizialand suffered in 1912 - the infection caused by lack of an efficient, capable leader. Its demographic profile is fast changing thanks to a rapidly ageing population and unhindered migration. Complex bureaucratic institutions stifle the growth potential of the LC. It is in this context that the adage reform or perish holds significant in determining the future of the LC.

The Spendthrift Economies

On 24th December 2012 the Mizialand stock market received a Christmas surprise - one that would haunt the LC for the next two and a half years. The debt crisis was triggered by uncontrolled expenditure over the last decade mainly towards “upgrading Mizia infrastructure” to the “Lorecian standards”. In February 2013, Her Majesty’s Government realised that it does not has sufficient fiscal capacity to pay beyond the next 2 weeks of imports. Thus the balance of payments crisis began which threatened a “domino effect” - the economy had entered into recession. Mizialand was infected and if she sneezed the LC would catch a cold. Efforts at containment were quick and the Lorecian Stability Mechanism was established. In January 2014, it extended a loan of NSD 100 bn for recapitalisation of Mizia banks and from May 2014 to December 2014 three bailout packages amounting to over NSD 30bn. The conditionality was austerity and formulation of a law to manage the fiscal deficit. Mizialand formulated the Fiscal Responsibility and Management Bill, 2014 which mandated limiting the fiscal deficit to 3% of the GDP by 2020. Strict austerity conditions slowed down public investment which had been the main driver of growth during the past decade. The result was slow and it was only by the beginning of 2016 that Mizialand was finally out of a recession. Efforts at “de-coupling” were successful, to some extent and thankfully the domino effect was curtailed.

This would have called for a hawkish fiscal policy but the LC economies are moving in the opposite direction. Fiscal deficit, not only in Mizialand but in almost all LC economies is rising. The prime example is Nidwalden. Universal basic income, at least in economic theory seems to be a flawed concept. It will expand the burgeoning fiscal deficit in that country, especially in the view that existing social security programmes will not be curtailed but only expanded. Given that Nidwalden remains one of the stronger economy in the LC such impact can have consequences upon the economic stability of the continent as a whole. Given that growth has been on a rebound since 2015, the next recession might not be far away. After all a bane and boon cycle is the inbuilt character of capitalism. And if the strongest economy in the LC, who will bail it out this time? We therefore urge the LC to supplement the LSM by an organisation to redistribute wealth from trade surplus to trade deficit LC member states. Such an organisation must include stronger economies outside of the LC.

The Demographic Shift

Lorecia is getting older. The demographic dividend has been long over and the population is fast ageing. The median age of the LC is 45,7 years and by 2050 it is projected to be 52,3 years. This will add to the fiscal burden primarily in terms of requirements for expanding social sector spendings and pension dues. Restrictive immigration policies in Noordenstaat, Albeinland, and Fyngaria mean that these countries will be the worst affected. Rising healthcare expenditure will be borne by the social security programme creating a recipe for a financial and demographic disaster. This combined with uncontrolled, populist spending threatens to send the economy into a prolonged coma necessitating the need for emergency measures. However we expect that such changes will be slow and insidious requiring economic restructuring rather than stop gap measure. We urge the LC to formulate a Geriatric Policy to deal with the impending demographic disaster.

In countries with relaxed immigration policies such as Nidwalden, the problem of influx of Islamic migrants will lead to a cultural convergence at best and a cultural clash at worst. Poverty and unemployment is highest among this particular community. While Nidwaldster efforts of integration are commendable, such efforts need to be replicated in countries such as Mizialand which have relaxed their immigration policies but made half hearted efforts for integration. The average total fertility rate in Lorecia is 1.5, but among the Muslims it is 2.3 meaning that the population growth will be driven by them. Mohammed is the most common name in Lorecia and every 3 child born in St. Louis is a Muslim. This demographic dividend among this Muslims can be used to meet the challenge of aforestated demographic disaster. However, this means investment in health and education directed specifically towards the Muslim immigrants so that an expanding service sector can meet the foreseen geriatric demand. We urge the LC member states to replicate the Nidwaldster model of immigrant integration with special focus on schools and the society.

The Leaderless Community and Antiquated Bureaucracy

The LC has only one strong leader. She has been called the “leader of the free world” and played an exemplary role in managing the recent pandemic. Charlotte Mann emerged in 2018 not only as the Prime Minister of Nidwalden but also the de facto leader of the LC. However, the LC has no other viable alternative so far. The question is Who will occupy Mann’s position once she is gone?. Elections in Mizialand are scheduled later in the year and Prime Minister Ben Vilke seems to be playing the role of a juggler trying to accommodate the demands of the coalition partners. No major reforms were introduced by this government and it maintained an uncanny silence on major issues lest any of the coalition partners be offended. The past four years were spent on walking on a tight rope. Similar internal political problems were faced by almost all members. This comes at a time when faith in the LC is at an all time low. Albeinland held a referendum on membership and the Treaty of Vaduz accepted Lorscepticism. The lack of a viable leader will further undermine the credibility of this organisation.

Furthermore, the LC bureaucracy is outdated and inefficient. A complex network of institutions, some of whose functions contradict each other stifle public trust in the community. These institutions better known by their various acronyms that dismantle themselves in an “alphabet soup” will challenge the memory of the eidetic. They are numerous and multiple institutions serve the same purpose. The “cold start” and delay in Belkan crisis of early 2019 is attributed to this myriad of complexity that hindered an early, effective intervention. In this aspect, the LC failed in its most vital task as the means became an end in themselves - that of preventing outbreak of another war in Lorecia. Therefore we urge the LC to consolidate its multiple institutions, eliminating the obscure one and uniting the ones that perform similar tasks.

When the civil war ended in 1919, the task of reformation and reconciliation of the three linguistic communities was massive, yet Mizialand, under the able leadership of the Vincents, accomplished it. It is at a similar juncture that the LC stands today - Lorscepticism is high and the traditional way forward for the LC which offered two choices - A federated institution or a loose coalition has now added another option - the disintegration of the LC. The last possibility is remote for despite obstacles the LC has its achievements. In less than half a century it has created a united Lorecia, and now is moving towards creating a prosperous and equal Lorecia. The success of its efforts will depend on the extent to which, or if at all, the LC reforms itself.

[Great Nortend]

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WEDNESDAY· 12 AUGUST MMXX · PRINTED IN LENDERT · THREEPENCE

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WORLD LEADERS PAY RESPECTS TO SIR BENJAMIN DE DAVIES

  SOVEREIGNS, princes, heads of government, diplomats and world leaders all assembled yesterday at Saint Peter's Cathedral in Lendert-with-Cadell to mourn the passing of The Right Honourable Sir Benjamin de Davies, 1st Banneret, His Majesty's former Lord High Treasurer, who passed away at the age of 92 on the evening of August 9th at his ancestral home in Cliffence in Barminstershire from undisclosed causes. The arresting sight of the black-draped coffin being processed on a black chare down Castledrive and turning right into Halton Street surrounded by clergy chaunting De profundis and Miserere, and heralds and knights bearing black-edged banners and arms was made all the more starker by the mourning public clothed in uncharacteristic black for the warm summer's day as the entire country grieved the loss of the premier statesman of the century to come from these island shores.

   The King and Queen both attended, Her Majesty wearing the blue gown edged in crepe distinctive of royal mourning. The Government was represented by the present Lord High Treasurer, Sir Spencer de Stornton, as well as all living former Lords High Treasurer, The Duke of Limmes, The Margrave of Bine, The Earl of Alsby and The Earl of Bexeness. The current Warden of the Droughers, The Baron of Stavenson, was also present, as well as a whole Privy Council and a host of current and former politicians and statesmen. All of Sir Benjamin's immediate family, Lady Margaret-Joan de Davies, and Sir Henry de Davies, 2nd Bart., Mr. Edwin de Davies and Mr. Charles de Davies were in attendance, as well as numerous members of his extended family.

  Over fifty foreign government dignitaries attended the public funeral Requiem Mass at the Cathedral including Mme. Antje Moeljani, Prime Minister of Hindia Belanda, with her Foreign Minister Mr. Wardana, the Chairman of the Greater Council of Cadenza Mr. Vilaum Tolyxa, the Foreign Minister of Nicolia Mme. Krstić and the Foreign Minister of Nidwalden Mr. Samuelsen. There are delegates from the numerous intergovernmental organisations which Sir Benjamin had dealt with in his mortal life, including the Secretary for Foreign Affairs of the Lorecian Community Mme. Gruber. Furthermore, nearly every diplomatic mission accredited to His Majesty's Court was represented at the Mass, which was conducted by the Lord Abbot and Lord Bishop of Lendert, The Rt. Rev. Cardinal Dr. Alan Gough at the High Altar.

  The body of Sir Benjamin was transported to Lendert-with-Cadell in the afternoon of August 10th, after having his first Placebo, Dirige and Requiem at Cliffence. He lay in state in the Chapel of Saint Giles of the Castle of Lerdenstone, where the House of Lords ordinarily sits, where another office of Placebo was chaunted, followed by Dirige, Requiem and the votive masses yesterday morning. Placebo, Dirige and the masses of the Blessed Virgin Mary and the Holy Trinity were also chaunted at Saint Peter's Cathedral prior to the Requiem yesterday.

  The body of Sir Benjamin was returned to Cliffence yesterday afternoon and interred in a tomb in the family church of Saint Clement at the Davies' estate at Cliffence. His month's mind Offices and Masses will be said both at Saint Giles and at Cliffence.

  

[Slovertia]

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[Great Nortend]

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THURSDAY· 20 AUGUST MMXX · PRINTED IN LENDERT · THREEPENCE

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TENSIONS INFLAMED IN SLOVERTIA

  REPORTS from Slovertia have arrived indicating that the on-going conflict with the South Mazurian minority has increasingly become wrought with violence with a palpable possibility of civil war in the air as the country prepares to vote in a general election. The Slovertian Prime Minister, Mr. Rupert Wilmar, has been criticised in domestic and international media as presiding over the systematic oppression of Mazurians after he won a shock election victory in 2015 despite lagging behind in polls up to the day of the election.

  The general consensus in the Sloverti capital of Brativas appears to be for an independent South Mazuria and along with it, the city of Brativas; however, all major political parties have declared that this is completely out of the question. However, in South Mazuria, the pro-independent so-called “Liberation Party” is leading in the polls despite being declared a terrorist group by Mr. Wilmar and out of the running for the Sloverti government.

  Mr. Wilmar's greatest rival, Mme. Obecny of the Sloverti Realist Party, is been touted as the most likely contender for the Prime Ministership after the election. Mme. Obecny has courted the Sloverti people through the campaign, especially with her pledge to thoroughly investigate Mr. Wilmar's alleged crimes which have been compared to “ethnic cleansing” by the opposition. However, there is a level of distrust in Slovertia over the integrity of the electoral, especially after the suspicious result of the 2015 election which trust Mr. Wilmar's party, the Conservative Union, into power.

MAN ARRESTED FOR SEDITION

  A MAN from Metthews was arrested yesterday for sedition for defamation of the King's Majesty. Roger Baker, 54, was described by shocked witnesses as having brought a wooden crate to King Edmund's Square and having surmounted upon it, begun declaiming offensively against the Crown, labelling it an “institution of subjugation” and “incompatible with basic human rights”, his tirade punctuated by the throwing of potatoes, and according to some witnesses, stones, at the statue of His late Majesty King Edmund IX. Baker was quickly subdued by several constables and taken to Metthews Police Station where he was placed in the watch-house.

  The High Sheriff of Almeshire, Mr. Superintendent Sir Graeme de Pace, told the Regal Post that the Baker was “clearly” a member of an underground seditious movement seeking to incite treason against the legitimate government of Great Nortend. He noted that the constabulary would be working urgently to identify any other members and to suppress further seditious activity. Sir Graeme said that Baker would be presented for indictment forthwith at the next General Sessions on felony charges of high treason, sedition, sacrilege and mischief, although he conceded that the charge of high treason was a mere formality. The latter two charges are on account of damage suffered to a 16th century stained glass window of the church of St. Gertrude and to the said bronze statute of King Edmund IX.

[Slovertia]

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