Esquarium Today [Regional News, CLOSED]

About me · by **Luziyca** » Mon Nov 11, 2013 11:14 am

The last of the great soaps will go off the air

These title cards will soon be a thing of the past

BETHLEHEM, LUZIYCA - Today, LRT has announced it will not renew Zavtra Lux, the longest running soap opera and the last to broadcast on LRT1, for its 95th season, or 62nd on television. This long-runner has been on the air for nearly 78 years, from Christmas Day 1935. When it reaches its series finale on July 1st, 2014, it will mark an end of this long runner, as well as soap operas. Let's face it, since the rise of Wipeout in 1994, as well as Big Brother in 1996, soap operas are coming to an end. Its last competitor, Vaseh Krovaden (All My Children), on since 1970 came off the air in 2011, leaving Zavtra Lux the last soap still on LRT.

What will it mean for the fans of soap operas and housewives who helped keep that demographic going? Well, it means that while you can still subscribe to Showcase Diva, where soaps are being repeated, the age of the Luziycan soap opera has come to an end. ITV may still have three in production and broadcasting on ITV1, but let's face it, they are likely going to get axed in a few years. The death of this long runner means that soap operas, are now literally suffering from some sort of terminal illness. There is no chance of recovery, only a pressing question: when will they end? The oldest soap still on ITV1 is "All in the Family," broadcasting since 1973. A few weathered the 1980s decline, but it is finished. Foreign soaps may still be more attractive, like Carlton, produced in Quebec, but it is no longer as popular as it used.

ITV however produced Zavtra Lux since 2007, when Dawson's sold the production rights to ITV, and ITV has announced it will try and procure the broadcasting rights to Zavtra Lux so it can give it a 95th season on ITV. We tried to obtain an interview to the CEO of LRT, but he was unavailable for comment.

by **Antaly** » Thu Nov 14, 2013 3:11 pm

Hans Muller: Federation is the way to civil war

KAISERSBERG,ANTALY- After a long debate about the "Federal question" the Reichstag has come to a conclusion that it is for the people to decide. 'The "Federal question" is currently' as Hans Muller, the chancellor of Antaly says 'The biggest decision of Antaly in this century.'
The "Federal question" is the term that originated in the late 1990, when Antaly was fighting in the Savski Veanc civil war. It is about the main problem of Antaly - ethnic minorities. Danubians and Serbs that live in Antaly have their own autonomous regions Duchy of Gorovina and Duchy of Zadovina. They are the two out of eight federal duchies and kingdoms in Antaly.
'The federal system in which we live today is flawed, it is the springboard of separatisim but also socialisim,communisim and not to say danubianisim! It is the tumour of Antaly that must be removed quickly to save our national unity!' says dr Michael Schwine, the professor of polliticology at the Kaisersberg University.
'The letters that the members of the Reichstag recieved a month ago and are still recieving them are written by the so called Danubian Resistance Army, an organisation that is threatening to kill some of the most profund members of this institution! This terrorist organisation is just another problem minorities brought to our homeland along with communisim, socialisim and danubianisim!
We cannot let the Savski Venac civil war scenario happen again! We will not let them take our country! That is why the ANPP proposes that a refferendum should be held, a refferendum where Antalians will decide wheather they want to live in a separated country like our neighbours, or to live in a unified one! said Heirich Rottenschraffer of the ANPP.
The refferendum the whole nation is talking about will certanly be one of the biggest decisions of the Antalian people, the federal monarchy was installed in 1878. , but times have changed.

by Erik Haupfmann

by **Namor** » Sun Nov 17, 2013 3:54 pm

FROM TOP LEFT TO BOTTOM RIGHT: Namorese President-General Alicia Wolf, Leader of the Opposition Deng Mianbao, incumbent Aininian President Katherine Raspberry, and Aininian Progressive-Conservative candidate Steven Mann

November 17, NMR 2360

FORESTIA, AININ/NAMO, CAPITAL DISTRICT- The General Election of the Republic of Ainin is already underway, and both the Namorese Left and Right are taking notice.

According to the ABC, Ainin's President, Katherine Raspberry (L/SD) is being challenged by five other candidates---Steven Mann of the Progressive-Conservative Party, Christopher Walker of the Green Party, Max Cornell of the National Alliance, Jenny Huang of the Libertarian Party, and Jeremy Rizwan of the Socialist Freedom Party.

The Aininian general election has caught the attention of many Namorese, to begin with. Micro-bloggers on Boke are still following the election, expressing their views on various candidates.

Ritanya454: It seems like I can vote for any of these candidates and things will stay the same. Well, at least relations with Namor will stay the same as long as the National Alliance takes over.

Cowsarestinky00: I really don't know why the Aininian Greens are doing so bad...

Tongming: F**k it, Wolf and Raspberry are BFFL, the two want to start their own military alliance and go on a crusade against all other countries. Seriously, if you're considering Raspberry it's like considering a warmonger to be the leader of our ally. Let's not do that.

People'sJetFighter1: Raspberry. We need a good partner to team up against the Luzzies and Jahie Unolianz. And n'oubliez pas les Koy.

But the election drama in Forestia is not only catching the attention of the people. It has also divided the Central Council, and led to the Executive House.

Voicing her personal support for Raspberry, President-General Alicia Wolf spoke at a dinner reception for Executive House guests last evening.

"I cannot speak for the entire government, but here I speak for myself; I support Raspberry, an amiable choice," said Wolf. "And it's more than the fact that she's one of the few Western Esquarian leaders who get things right. It's because Raspberry is a leader, who, like me, value the necessity for a strong bond between us and Forestia in order to safeguard peace in turbulent places like Esquarium. And I hope those who think moderately would say the same as well."

Wolf added that the Namorese government wishes all candidates good luck in the general elections. "Except for the National Alliance, of course," she said. "To hell with them."

Reinforcing Wolf's position, Vice President Kaitlyn Khan spoke in the dinner reception after her.

"It's simple to me: whoever works for the benefit of all Aininians should receive the endorsement of all Namorese. And Raspberry is that person who fits the frame for a calculating leader," she said.

On the other side of the aisle, the Opposition is also putting its money into their right-wing counterparts on the other side of the Esquarian Ocean.

Deng Mianbao appeared on the National Comedy Network this morning, where he was asked by Tren Chon, host of Face the Damn Country, whom he supported in the Aininian election.

"The President-General said she supports Raspberry, ditto with Khan," began Chon. "How about you?"

Replied Deng with a laugh, "Well, it seems like our President-General is endorsing a foreign leader who hates the freedom to make money. That really stinks, but would she do any different? Here's who I'm supporting: My Mann," he said, referring to Progressive-Conservative candidate Steven Mann, which was received with a huge laugh from the audience.

"Yes," continued Deng. "He's my Mann. He's Ainin's Mann too, just like how I'm Namor's guy. What, what's so funny?"

No matter what the Namorese think, the government will not be allowed to officially endorse any candidate in any foreign election, as per statute. However, that won't stop Wolf from endorsing her friend in Forestia, neither will it prevent Deng from endorsing his "Mann."

by **Savski Venac** » Mon Nov 18, 2013 1:30 am

Are we on our way to the new era of opression and fascisim?

"After the recent events in Antaly, Danubians and other minorities living there cant feel safe no longer. The opressive government to which they are subjected, is talking about parties that will create separatisim in their country, they are talking about federalisim that is the main cause of separatisim in Antaly. Tommorow they will talk about the minorities as they are the cause of all of their problems! This is not patriotisim nor nationalisim. This is fascisim and nazisim. We saw this! 20 years ago in Umbria when the Umbrian Home Guard along Vosstavshy units killing innocent Irishmen,Danubians,Serbs,Gypsies and Jews. That is going to happen soon in Antaly! Or at least looks like!" says pollitical analyst Andrey Zabodnykov.
The president of Savski Venac has also issued and open letter to the Antalian Kaiser and the Reichstag

To:
Antalian Kaiser,the Antalian Reichstag

Date: 11 July 1919

Official Communique of the President of PFR Savski Venac, Marko Gajinović

My dearest greetings,

The people of Savski Venac have recieved the news of the recent happenings in Antaly. The government of Savski Venac along with me as its head, and the head of the state and as the representers of all peoples the live in Savski Venac, condemn the recent laws and the decision of the Antalian government to start a refferendum which will nullify every citizen right of the Danubian and Serbian people in Antaly. To centralise the power in Antaly, to abolish the autonomous regions Gorovina and Zadovina mean to take the very right of your loyal citizens given to them by god. Your fears of separatisim will only worsen if you do this. Slavs are stubborn, and will always find a way to freedom. I would advise you to to cancel the refferendum, because if you dont the government of antaly,the Reichstag the Kaiser will be responsible for the events that follow.

Signed,

Marko Borisavich Gajinović, President of Savski Venac

Comrade ataman also held a speech at the Square of the Republic where he says that the people of Savski Veanc will always support the opressed, and those who are in need of a helping hand. He said that the people of Savski Venac will always say no to nazisim and fascisim and will always fight against it.

Comrade ataman,Marko Gajinović

by Bavlo Zayatov

by **Iglesian Archipelago** » Tue Nov 19, 2013 10:45 am

DAILY COURIER
19 November 2013

TERROR IN NARENAYA TRAIN

Fifty teenagers from problematic neighbourhoods in western Larena suddenly invaded a train in Narenaya in the city centre, which was to head towards Kalakuna, at 00:00

Travelling without tickets and with a hood in their heads, they spread the terror between thousands of people, who were forced to run throughout the train. The train ended up stopping at Nayura. At the station, there were various agents from the Public Security Police (PSP), who were waiting for the gang. They detained thirty elements from the gang. They were taken to the police station and they ended up released. They were solely identified.

According to a source close to the Larena police, some passengers were threatened to death and others that they would be stolen. The panic was general, obligating the train security staff to report to the PSP about the situation.

At Nayura railway station, a police operation was already in action to keep an eye on the teenagers. Official PSP source said to the Daily Courier the following: "What we received from the PSP is that they had seen scenes of disturbance inside the train and that the passengers were in despair and wanted to leave the carriages. As of now we haven't any report that someone had been effectively stolen."

Besides the passengers who were boarding the train, the security staff also became target of the gang. Yarel Ganka, the president of the Railway Security Staff Union, feared that the violence in the Larena commuter trains, including, but not limited to, robberies, assaults and murders, is growing.

To the Daily Courier, the syndicalist said: "Last year, no single day was free from situations of violence inside the Larena commuter trains. We have met frequently with the Ministry of Interior to reclaim more security presence. All we had was the presence of PSP's Intervention Body at beaches and railway stations during Summers and weekends. But this won't stop and we want more police intervention inside trains to provide for more security for the passengers."

Comments (1200)

Anonymous Come back, Agreste; you're forgiven! +8 (seconds ago)

Karyn Kelly Identify everybody and take away the welfare benefits they have been receiving since they were born! +5 (seconds ago)

Adryan Maleya That's what happens when we tolerate anarchists! This is not a democracy but a DEBAUCHERY! +6 (seconds ago)

Marlyn Nuka National Party of Iglesiantis in power! We are sickened of immigrants! They are willing to destroy our glorious country! We are sickened of blacks, gypsies, commies, anarchos, ebbies, vyvies, geads, swillies, etc.! IGLESIANTIS TO THE IGLESIANS! THERE SHOULD BE A NEW AGRESTE! +8 (seconds ago)

Anonymous This is what happens when we Iglesians insist in voting on left-wing parties! Apparently the only party in parliament concerned about the victims is the Conservative Party! +4 (seconds ago)

Yaryn Melgena DEATH PENALTY! +8 (1 minute ago)

Arvyna Gula But don't you people know why these things happen? These people come from very poor countries and barely can do a life. Those neighbourhoods, Nayura, Kalakuna, Yernara, are home to millions of poor people who cannot do anything else but live in shabby blocks of flats. Because it is very difficult to find a job nowadays, many of these people resort on crime to satisfy their needs. Some people here believe the only solution is harsher punishments (with some people even going as far as proposing death penalty), but, for starters, 20 years in prison as a maximum punishment in Iglesiantis is already enough. Then, the more we punish people who are not able to do anything else than crime because they come they are very low income, the more these things happen. I'd say the solution is to rehabilitate and help these people, not imprison them. There are much bigger problems, such as those white power skinheads who come from northern Los Vientos who are upper class and stab dozens of immigrants in Los Vientos every day. -6 (1 minute ago)

Yara Erlysa Iglesiantis is an anarchy... +8 (1 minute ago)

Maryn Neyelova The solution is the Iglesian Communist Party! Vote PKI in the next election! -4 (1 minute ago)

Arvyn Nela IGLESIANTIS TO THE IGLESIANS! VOTE PNI! LET'S BRING BACK AGRESTE! +8 (1 minute ago)

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by **Antaly** » Tue Nov 19, 2013 4:07 pm

Riots in Skobovo!

The two peacefull protests against the recent laws that have been put into power recently by the Reichstag have turned into riots.
Around 12 o'clock people have gathered on the main square in Skobovo,Gorovina from where they marched to the town hall. According to the police there were around 10.000 people.
The organisers of this protests are the members of the forbidden Social-Democratic Worker's Party among them is Markus Nikolayevich the president of the dorbidden Socialist Worker's Party of Antaly.
Upon arriving to the city hall, Nikolayevich along other organisers were arrested by the police.
This has caused a wave of anger in protestors whos started fighting the policemen who were arresing Nikolayevich and other organisers of this protest. Ten policemen were injured in that brawl, seven are in grave condition. The protestsers tried to enter the city hall but started routing when one of the policemen guarding the city hall shot A. Sergeyevich who died minutes later from the consequences of the shot.
Not long after this a car passed by the city hall and a masked pearson threw a molotov cocktail at the building. Fortunately the fire that was created was extinguished quickly.
By 2 pm most of the rioters that fled from Stephen Franz street, where the city hall is,headed home. Only a small part of the rioters, who are suspected to be communists,extremists and criminals, started fighting with riot police while they were on their way to the Skobovo square.The riot police was overrun and the rioters continued to the Skobovo square. There a barricade was set by the riot police and Sturmabitelung (Special Forces) to prevent the rioters from vandalizing the square. As the rioters continued walking towards the barricade they were warned that they will be shot upon. it looked like as they were frightened, as they stopped. Then they charged the barricades, at that moment the SA started firing live ammunition at the rioters.
134 men are wounded 23 were killed and another 20 are in a grave condition.

by Alan Sterichleight

Comments(2310)

Artur Wolfberg All of those animals should be shot! Either way most of them are Danubians and Serbs, the ones who arent are Antalian commies (traitors)!

Annonymous All lies! I was looking through the window at the square when those morons startes shooting! There was no charging, it still remained a peacefull protest and those SA men started shooting for no reason! This country is going for the worse!

Artur Wolfberg as an answer to Annonymous You're either a traitor,a Serb or a Danubian. Lying and making excuses!

Ivan Yakovlyevich This is not right! Theese people are innocent!

Max Schwaub Glory to the ANPP! Long live the Kaiser! ANTALY TO ANTALIANS!

Mikka Yvonnen We need a ANPP in Mavaria, there are more and more immigrants every year! NUMMETESSA TAI KUOLEMMA! VAPAUS TAI KUOLEMMA!

Johan Jensen as an answer to Mikka Yvonnen ANTALY & MAVARIA TOGEATHER AGAINST COMMIES AND DANUBIANS!

Annonymous Ewww, discusting fascist...

Nikko Niemmi as an answer to Annonymous You're the one that is disguisting you communist slime!

Anton Rubentropp This is all the fault of Marko Gajinović and Savski Venac! This was all organised by him and the NKVD! The commies want to destroy Antaly! WELL WE WONT LET YOU!

by **Vyvland** » Fri Nov 22, 2013 3:48 pm

English • Enlaan • Vrigsdeg, 22f. Novembre, 2013 • Geniymeked 21:55

Blymont forms government after extended negotiations
Conservative-Liberal-Capitalist deal signed at Conservative HQ, Vlud

Conservative HQ, where the coalition agreement was signed.

After a long, protracted negotiation process marred by disputes, mostly within the Conservative Party, Kurt Blymont has today achieved a deal between the Conservatives, Liberal Party and Capitalist and Libertarian Party to form a cabinet. The coalition has also negotiated confidence-and-supply agreements with Dutch-language counterparts Dutch Union and KDNF.

The negotiations have been the fourth-longest in Vyvland's history, due to the nature of this year's election, in which the three traditional main parties - the Liberals, Socialists and Conservatives - achieved similar seat numbers, while the vote share of the right-wing National and Capitalist parties also multiplied.

The coalition will have a majority of 7, having gained 291 seats in total, while 284 seats are needed for a majority. It is thought that this majority is the main reason the Conservative Committee, a group of high-ranking Conservatives involved in the running of the party, voted for the Liberal option ahead of a coalition with the National Party.

About me · by **Luziyca** » Sat Nov 23, 2013 10:27 am

Marijuana to be legalized in Inleda and West Geadland

Riksdag approved the law legalizing marijuana 174-59 for legalization

JERUSALEM, INLEDA - Today, the Chief Executive of the Republic of Inleda has signed a new law to take effect on Jan. 1, 2014: marijuana will be legalized for consumption but regulated by the government, joining with West Geadland which signed a similar law a week ago. Unlike in the latter, where it will be sold at Alko, the Swedes will start their own monopoly, "Hampa" to sell marijuana. It will have a 10% tax, and will be seen as a start of the spread of legalizing drugs.

Since the 1890s, we have been fighting a war on drugs. Until the 1930s, only wine was legal: cigars, beer, all kinds of drugs were banned. But to boost morale, the free government in the East allowed states to create their own alcoholic monopolies which can also sell cigarettes if allowed. However, in 1984, a law was passed declaring a war on drugs, and giving Arazei, Nantai, Inleda and West Geadland an opt-out. That means that those four constituent republics are allowed to legalize pot, but the rest of Luziyca cannot legalize cannabis without the federal government permitting them to.

Today, Inleda joins West Geadland in being the first place to legalize marijuana in this free nation. The first Hampa will open on Jan. 1, 2014, at midnight, while the West Geadish Alko is remodeling some of their stores so marijuana can be sold. And despite support from many citizens within those two regions and some within the rest of the country, it is a bad thing. Why, you ask?

Marijuana kills 450 people a year, mainly due to their addiction to the drug. Alongside the side effects of euphoria, dryness of the mouth, decrease in neurological abilities, and decrease of concentration, it is also toxic to the human body, and a sample of 50 prisoners arrested for smoking marijuana from 1993 to 1996 showed that those who smoked marijuana are more likely to support ideologies that threaten our national security, mainly communism, in which they advocate Stalinist repression, stagnating economy, socialized medicine, and equal wages. Out of the 450 deaths, it does not count the rising number of people who are dying for a new type of pot: synthetic marijuana, of which 600 died in 2012, and around 750 are predicted to have died in 2013 for smoking synthetic marijuana.

Considering that marijuana will be legalized in those two regions, a teacher, Diana Anderson said that, "Considering that marijuana is going to be legalized, I am a bit worried that my Grade 8 students will try pot and get hooked to it. Since I fear they will cut funding off to teach the students the harmful effects of marijuana, it will mean that pot is all acceptable."

However, the Secretary of the Department of Education, Axel Sanker in Inleda said that "we will continue teaching schoolchildren the harmful effects of all drugs, including marijuana."

But it is a concern. What if they remove marijuana from the list of drugs that cause harmful effects because it is legal, despite evidence to the contrary? Then clearly, more students will see smoking pot as acceptable, and result in more deaths.

As such, what the federal government should do is state firmly that marijuana is not acceptable, and revoke the exceptions to the constituent republics, so to reduce deaths by smoking pot, and impose zero-tolerance policies there.

by **The Jahistic Unified Republic** » Thu Nov 28, 2013 12:01 pm

Sports: Jahistic and National Leagues Announce All-Star Handball Rosters
No Unolian National Team Members on AS Teams.

Brookopolis, The Jahistic Republic of Keanuli-- At a grandiose ceremony today in the Brookopolis Supreme Hotel's Assembly Room, the teams for the Jahistic Handball Federation and the Unolian National League were announced and presented with their jerseys for the big All-Star game on December 7th. This will be the first (and last) All-Star game between the JHF and NL, as the JHF is being abolished for the new International League.

Not a single member of the Unolian National Handball teams were chosen, because they are expected to be participating in a friendly best-of-seven series between Unolia and the recent Handball World Cup champions, Felix. This comes as an exceptional sorrow to Frain Bulldog Aldrani Quila, who has recently been traded to the Quebecoi Handball League.

The winning conference in the UHL All-Star game will receive home field advantage (that is, for four out of potentially seven games) and bragging rights for the next year. Playing on the names of the leagues, the Jahistic Handball Federation were presented with yellow and black jerseys. The National League were presented with red and orange, which is a play on the "national" title. Ironically, the Unolia Revolutionaries (owned by the Jahistic Party of Unolia) are in the National League, in contrast to the more aptly named "Jahistic" Handball Federation.

TEAM JHF

Coach: Dan Huett (Isredan Rhinos)
Ass. Coach: Jack Wilson (N. Ukruda Phalanx)

St. GK: Billy Valentine (Kentanu Tikis)
St. LB: Jose Paulan (N. Ukruda Phalanx)
St. RB: Kurt Allisan (Keanuli Surfers)
St. CB: Kai Renmin (Helia Airmen)
St. CR: Jared Polit (Urugerbia Doves)
St. LW: Xi Zhoulan (Isredan Rhinos)
St. RW: Danny Dang (Helia Airmen)

Bk. GK: George Chesterfield (Swegal Seagulls)
Bk. LB: Swilan Sokonuka (Canark Cardinals)
Bk. RB: Shane Patrick (Isredan Rhinos)
Bk. CB: Guo Jingyu (Urugerbia Doves)
Bk. CR: Gene Lunder (Canark Cardinals)
Bk. LW: Ondrej Pokorny (Helia Airmen)
Bk. RW: Émile Bonner (Swegal Seagulls)

TEAM NL:
Head Coach: Achim Oberst (Unolia Revolutionaries)
Ass. Coach: Suk Young Rhee (Springland Hornets)

St. GK: Yun Myung Kwan (Brookopolis Lighthouses)
St. LB: Qiang Guo (Cheasterdale Fortsguards)
St. RB: Daryush Rostami (Salemgrove Chargers)
St. CB: Borko Horvat (Unolia Revolutionaries)
St. CR: Erik Kulmala (Beckistan Ruptures)
St. LW: Slade Clay (Unolia Revolutionaries)
St. RW: Ling Kwan (Bradburgh Buffalos)

Bk. GK: Tobias Boivin (Ferryford Fighters)
Bk. LB: Francis Bélanger (Waterford Jets)
Bk. RB: Mu Ling (Harrisvale Minutemen)
Bk. CB: Rokurou Akiyama (Waterford Jets)
Bk. CR: Hervan Eato (Unolia Revolutionaries)
Bk. LW: Marcelino Asis (Springland Hornets)
Bk. RW: Joey Viteri (Kingsings Blues)

by **Namor** » Fri Nov 29, 2013 6:13 pm

November 29, NMR 2360

UNOLIA- When Team Namor first arrived at the rogue island country of Unolia, what they expected were a mob of Jahistic Youth Corps (JYC) members stoning everyone in the team to death.

Luckily, says Goalkeeper Triya Kavu, that did not happen.

"It just feels weird to be here, in Unolia, but never mind that," Kavu told PTH. "We're here for the game. We will win, and if we don't, oh well, we'll strive for excellence in all that we do."

The Namorese Association Football Team, unlike other national teams, had a difficult time entering Unolia. Since the break-down of relations back in NMR 2356, direct flights between the capital city of Unolia and various cities in mainland Namor were shut down. The team had to take a flight from Namo to Thalassa, then to Roubao, where they took a short plane ride behind the Iron Curtain to the Unolian mainland.

Having succeeded in their bid for the Second Coupe D'Esquarium (Esquarian Cup), the Jahistic Unolian regime has portrayed the CdE as a source of national---and ideological---pride.

"Not a Coup d'Eta[t] nor a nuclear explosion, nor a destructive leftist regime nor hell itself can diminish the Unolian People's love for sport of all kinds," proclaimed the state propaganda apparatus.

Namor and Unolia have been at odds ever since the former passed an act, banning the Conservative camp from taking part in the Unolian-brainchilded Jahistic Internationale, an organization of Jahistic, right-leaning parties aiming for Jahistic world revolution and domination. Unolia, seeing this act as provocation, kicked the Namorese ambassadorial team out of their territory.

Things got even worse after Unolia attacked Roubao, and Namor intervened as expected, maintaining the status quo that had remained since Roubao's independence from the Jahistic Republic was secured. That was only two years ago.

Even so, the Namorese Ministry of Sports and Leisure is hoping that through participating in the CdE held in Unolia, some sort of athletic diplomacy will tie the two countries back together, or break the ice to the very least.

"Politics have no seat in sports," said MOSL Julia Blanche (L), "As authoritarian the Unolian government may be, the last thing we want to do is upset the athletes, our athletes, who have been training hard for many years to participate in something like this, because of political reasons. We mustn't boycott, we must use sports to bind the entire world together. That is what we as a nation believe."

The manager of Team Namor, Eng Zhahen, agrees.

"When we go to Unolia, we are going to do one thing: compete. We are not going to shout political slogans, smack talk at other teams...that is bad sportsmanship. This is the CdE, not a political debate session."

The Team has been cracking down on any sort of political activism the athletes might be bringing as they travel to Unolia to compete in the CdE.

Defender Alon Gold, age 28, was told by Team Namor to remove a tattoo from his back, which portrayed a dagger stabbed through a red hourglass---the symbol of Unolia's unpredictable ideology. Gold agreed to do so, but he did not comment on the matter extensively.

"I guess they're right, we're here to have fun and get serious at the same time. Not about politics, though," he said. "Enough said already."

Into the CdE, Team Namor is so far not doing as well. They have suffered a 0-3 loss to Ainin. Meanwhile, Luziyca and Unolia are faring really well. Namorese athletes are taking this bitterly, some even saying that the games were rigged, but what mattered was that they refused to give up.

"We are here to win everything and leave nothing for the rest," said GK Kavu. "We're not here to get Thuman's autograph."

by **Namor** » Sun Dec 01, 2013 11:38 am

|

December 1, NMR 2360

KINGSING, UNOLIA- President-General Wolf invited several PTH reporters into her office last night to watch Team Namor face off with the Luziycan Patriots, an intense game which resulted in a 1-1 draw---a result which seemingly relieved and satisfied both sides.

It was not only an intense game---the two teams occasionally exchanged glares at each other---and politically-fueled statements against each others' countries.

Team Namor's attacker, Yanlin Mora, shot a goal---the only goal shot by the Namorese in the entire game---past the Luziycan goalkeeper. Shortly after that, he hollered at the Luziycans, "Take that, you imperialists!

"Whoever wins gets Nantai!" he added after that.

"That was one damn statement," chuckled Wolf when she saw that bit, "You tell them, you tell them." Then she laughed.

There was much commotion in both teams before, during and after the game. Despite Team Namor being told before leaving for Unolia not to be involved in too much politics, it seems like the game last night is going to be another chapter in the half century-long "soap opera" between our nation and the Imperialist State.

And the Head of State of the People's Republic saw it all. On television. And laughed.

"You know, seeing this match, I kind of wished relations were that simple," she told reporters. "What if we Esquarians just huddled together and played football and solved all of our problems out? No one would have to die.

"And matches would be even simple," continued Wolf, "because the Luziycans would demobilize their team every Christmas Day, just like how they do with their army." She chuckled again. "Ah, I was kidding."

After Mora's goal, Namorese attempts in getting a 2-0 were less successful, thanks to the paranoid defensive tactics of the Luziycan team.

In response to Mora's statement, the Luziycans decided to send their Namorese attacker, Jung Henry from Occupied Nantai, to score a goal at the Namorese. That marked the end of the game, which resulted in a stalemate.

"So much for national unity," remarked Wolf with a smile when she saw the Nantai player score the Luziycans' only goal in the game.

Team Namor did not win, but they didn't lose either. Many teammates, including their captain and coaches, were relieved that the Cold War in the Esquarian Cup did not end in favor of the other side.

"We played well, we played well!" said Namorese midfielder Wang Bao. "I wouldn't say that was a draw, I would say that was a victory, a victory for us. After all, we shot the first goal. These Luzzies can go cry for their mother."

The Luziycans, meanwhile, also had their propaganda going.

When both the Namorese and Luziycan anthems were playing, the Luziycan team protested by turning their heads to the right, and down, away from the flag. One of the players even gave the Namorese team the middle finger---an act which was met with much booing from Namorese fans in the stadium, but not noticed by officials.

"Defeat the Dikara [derogatory term for Namorese people]," chanted Luziycan fans in the stadium. A fight occurred between one Namorese fan and a Luziycan fan, quickly broken up by police. The two fans were ushered out of the stadium for inciting violence.

After Mora's goal, the Luziycan team continued to spread their anti-Namorese sentiment in the 15 minute-break.

The Namor v. Luziyca game is indeed, say many, one of the highlights of the entire Esquarian Cup. Two rivals, one game, and no victor.

"I kinda wished this game was held on the 25th of December," said President-General Wolf, fists clenched sarcastically. "We would win, because the opponent..wouldn't show up. Ha, ha."

by **Vyvland** » Sun Dec 01, 2013 1:06 pm

SAVSKI VE-SMASH!
Vyvland thrash Savski Venac in scintillating 5-1 demolition

Savski Venac's national team don't know what hit them today, after their annihilation from Vyvland's boys in this afternoon's Coupe d'Esquarium fixture.

Five goals, all from open play, were pulled out of the bag by a Vyvlander side at the very peak of their game. This was particularly special, as the redheads went into their fixture against Savski Venac, traditionally a great footballing nation, expecting a challenge. What they received in the end sure was a surprise.

The match started pretty quietly - no-one made any attempts in the first few minutes. But as the sun began to descend in the sky, something clicked inside the Vyvlander players' heads. Two goals came in at 11 and 18 minutes, both from the strong left foot of Kurl Kalsder. Fans across Vyvland, and at the stadium in Unolia City, jumped for joy. They'd had a solid start, and kept defending for the remainder of the first half.

The start to the second half was a little more wobbly. Two yellow cards to both Vyvlander centre-backs and a penalty made the score a tight 2-1. But that's never good enough for a strong Vyvlander, like any of our players (except Andsen maybe!). Hungry for more goals, Kalsder, Pikok and Safam all smashed it into the goal before the eightieth minute had passed. Urmed's impact sub of Sbrosgig with just five minutes to go made no difference to the scoreline, and that was it. Vyvland secured their place at the top of their group.

After the game, the bushy-bearded Kurl Kalsder was over the moon with the lads' spectacular performance. "It's great to see that we're really capable of pulling it off, and I don't mean to tempt fate, but with performances like that, we're a shoe in for the quarter-finals, or even the semis."

Vyvland will sail into their next match, against Aissurop, tomorrow.

by **Kofeiya** » Sun Dec 01, 2013 2:30 pm

Kofeiya announces plans to join the Esquarian Community

President Jemima Joktan announces that Kofeiya will join the Esquarian Community

VARANKEN, KOFEIYA - Today, Congress has announced that it has approved legislation that will permit Kofeiya to join the Esquarian Community, a league of nations within Esquarium dedicated to promoting co-operation in terms of human rights, democracy and legal standards. At 10:00 am today, the President signed the legislation, before making a speech to inform the populace of Kofeiya of the decision made by Congress, as well as plans for a referendum to be held at most by the "end of this year."

"Today," she began, "we reach a milestone. As the most developed country in Moyo [Kofeiyan name for Southern Esquarium], where all mankind had originated, we are taking the bold step in applying for membership in the Esquarian Community, and taking part in the community of nations. We are the leading power in Moyo, and the most economically developed country, and we have taken great strides in development in the past twenty years. Thus, we feel that we are ready to take the plunge and exercise the right to bring Moyo onto the stage of Esquarium, and therefore, lead that part of the region."

Jemima Joktan also announced that Kofeiya will comply with any recommendations to improve Kofeiya by the Esquarian Community, such as tighter regulations of rubber and coffee plantations and mining, as well as plans to reduce corruption levels by 95% in the next 2 years. At the same time, she also announced a voucher system for those who cannot afford to attend the newly privatized schools to be put in place by the 2014-2015 school year.

The referendum for Kofeiya to join the Esquarian Community is planned to be sometime this month, with a likely date being Dec. 27th, and campaign posters have started to go up. Even the names have been decided if Kofeiya gets the go-ahead to take part in the EC: In Swahili, it would be "Umoja wa Mataifa," and in Azena, it would be "Herrialdeen Batasunak," both meaning "Union of Nations" in those languages, which gives an accurate name for the union since it really is the purpose of the Esquarian Community.

A poll from "Jende" said that a survey of 1,000 random Kofeiyans bring that 89% support Kofeiya joining the EC, 7% opposing, and the remainder having no opinion. Some people even had these to say:

"I am looking forward for Kofeiya to take part in the Esquarian Community!" -Jacob Kuyumbaye, executive of Katiba, Varanken
"Kofeiya will light the way for the rest of Moyo to join." -Rumbi Isaiah, office worker, Kuganda
"The EC is gonna be great for our country and will benefit us in the long run." -Lehoi Santua, fisherman, Abrahan
"I fear the EC may bring us back to the regime of Samuel Pumzi." -Noah Davidson, port worker, Ishvi

The question is, could Kofeiya be approved by other nations?

by **Ainin** » Sun Dec 01, 2013 4:35 pm

EDITORIAL | How the hell are we not dead last?
By John Wright, Professor of Political Science at the University of Hartly

...and this is supposedly in a relatively good state

Let's face it, Aininian sports teams all suck.

Hardly anyone watches sports programmes, the Sports Ministry is getting its budget axed to an all-time low, and our stadiums are falling apart.

So the question we need to ask ourselves is how on earth are we doing so well in the Coupe d'Esquarium, with a 3-0 win over Green Namor, a 1-1 tie with Divitaen, or hell, even a relatively small (by Aininian standards) 1-4 loss to fan favourites Ingla Terra?

I believe the answer here lies within the new way our government has been seeing the world's geopolitics lately, and especially its informal détenté and the relative calm the last few months in all of Esquarium (except the Northwest, but that place is always at war with itself). The recent cuts to the Defence budget, hailed by supporters as a groundbreaking achievement and by critics as a horrible choice that will put us at risk of foreign aggression, have been a clear-cut sign of the new change in the way of thinking in Forestia the last two months or so, focusing more on what I speculate are non-interventionism and diplomacy. To seal these changes, our leaders surely need a way to announce to the politically apathetic Aininian people "hey, let's give peace a chance".

What better way than at the Coupe d'Esquarium?

Association is the world's sport, and the Coupe, a source of national pride for many Esquarians. From the sacking of the Luziycan embassy by angry Swilatians to the jingoistic headlines popping up across the PR Namor, tensions run high across the world, as the cup is seen as matter of honour and morale. This way of thinking must have caught on here in the Republic, as the Raspberry administration realised how much sports could be used as a political tool, and exploited the recent dull in tensions within the region to order defence budget decreases, which, unsurprisingly, all went to the Education and Sports ministries. The recent ads that have been appearing in primetime television slots for the relatively obscure Aininian Association Football Team, somehow less known (26%) than the Aininian Competitive Checkers Team (34%) according to a March 2012 poll, and how the government planned to send the top talent this time to the Coupe with expert trainers and state-of-the-art equipment, also indicate this change, where the government has attempted to capture the national pride that comes with victory in sports events.

Whether this will work will be for the people to decide.

Dr. John Wright is a Professor of Political Science at the University of Hartly, Father of Three and Occasional Columnist for ABC News. You can reach him at jwright@uhartly.lk.ai.

by **Ainin** » Mon Dec 02, 2013 7:28 pm

BREAKING NEWS: Parliament cordoned off as suspicious package found in lobby, police on scene (read more >)

1-4 Loss to Ingla Terra at Coupe d’Esquarium
Still doing “quite better than expected”: Sports Minister

Yesterday, our lads were swept with a 1-4 loss against the Ingla Terrans at the Second Coupe d’Esquarium in Unolia, capital of Jahistic Unolia. This loss, moving Ainin back to third place in its group, with four points and behind current forerunners Luziyca and second-place Ingla Terra, the latter of which narrowly lost the bid to host the Coupe d’Esquarium, was large, but definitely not unexpected. The incumbent champions, Luziyca, continue to lead Group 3, and Divitaen continues to trail behind, with a single point.

The match, more of less meeting the expectations of Esquarian bidders, was won by the Ingla Terran national team by a 3-point margin, 1.7 points less than was expected by the average Aininian online bidder, according to recent statistics published by the University of Forestia.

The Aininian team had started out strong, with team captain Boris Cherlovsky marking a goal in the initial half-hour of the match, but its fortunes turned soon after. By the last period, Ingla Terra was leading 3-1, with no reversal in sight. We may be down, but we’re not out.

Meanwhile, in international news, fan favourites Swilatia have swept Maravia 8-0, Liberationist Namor have edged out Divitaen 1-0, Luziyca has kept its narrow lead in Group C, winning 1-0 against Gaveo, Vyvland has maintained its dominance in Group 4, defeating Aissurop 1-0, and cup host Jahistic Unolia has defeated Demphor 3-0 to keep its unchallenged lead in Group 2, which has led to several Namorese fans to believe the competition is rigged, an allegation dismissed by experts (and any sane person who has any remote understanding of physics and technology) as “absolutely ludicrous” and “ridiculously unrealistic”.

Read More – from ABC Sports:
COLUMN – Jingoism vs. McCarthyism: The interesting case of the Namor-Luziyca match >
12 Reasons Namorese Claims that Unolians Rigged the Matches are Bullshit >
EDITORIAL – Why the hell are we not dead last? >

From around ABC News:
Court strikes down toxic waste dump proposal as contrary to constitutional right to right to pursuit of happiness >
Apartment fire kills family of 4 in Clairmont >
Hate crimes on the rise in West Ainin, in decline everywhere else: study >

by **Ainin** » Mon Dec 02, 2013 8:19 pm

And it's a goal!
Clean 3-0 Victory Against Gaveo

The first of many tonight for Ainin

Remember the last time you've seen such an energetic headline on ABC Sports? Well, neither can we. But tonight, we're breaking out the champagne and jukebox, and celebrating Ainin's performance at the Coupe d'Esquarium, which has been nothing short of miraculous this time around. Other than the predictable loss to Ingla Terra yesterday, we have had an extraordinary performance at the coupe, beating Namor 1-0 and tying with Divitaen 1-1. And it only gets better.

For those of you that missed the live broadcast, Ainin dominated Gaveo, hosts of the First Coupe d'Esquarium and 4th place qualifiers, during the game, sweeping the score 3-0, with Natan Elinks scoring early in the first half, making them the first genderqueer player to score a goal in the admittingly short history of the Coupe d'Esquarium, and a testament to our nation's social progress. Late into the first half, Emmanuel Victor scored, bringing the score to 2-0, while, a couple of minutes before the end of the match, Barli Illisis pulled off an amazing kick, taking the Coyotes to a 3-0 victory over Gaveo.

Meanwhile, the Patriots have maintained Group 3 dominance, cruising their way to an easy 3-0 victoey against Divitaen, while Swilatia enjoyed an unexpectedly hard-fought 4-3 win against Crolacia, and the Greens have gained a 1-0 win over Ingla Terra. As for the hosts, Jahistic Unolia, which continues to lead the pack, has enjoyed a steady 1-0 victory over the now-eliminated Lillitanian football team.

Here's to another day of great luck and even greater action.

-ABC Sports Editorial Team (yes, these reports are supposed to be biased)

by **Ainin** » Tue Dec 03, 2013 6:45 am

ANALYSIS | Is the Momentum Going to Last?
Will the Tricolour Crush last past the Coupe d'Esquarium?

Is this set to last?

As the Patriot-Coyote game approaches, we need to ask ourselves, is the current gain in momentum and popularity for the Aininian Association Football team, a phenomenon colloquitely referred to as the Tricolour Crush, going to last beyond the Coupe d’Esquarium, and going to expand the faltering Aininian sports industries, or going to slowly disappear, leaving nothing but the bleak status quo behind it?

Arguments that it’s here to stay

The government has raised the Sports and Recreation budget to its all-time high, $17.8bn
Recent football signups have skyrocketed in the last few days, and parents have expressed support for such programmes
A massive advertising campaign for increasing physical activity has appeared in the last few days, most notably on primetime television, and its budget is allocated until July 2014

Arguments it’s just a fad

Though admittingly on a smaller scale, signups had also increased after the shocking victory against Swilatia in the first coupe, just to fall back to pre-Coupe levels shortly after
A very likely defeat against Luziyca may lead to disqualification from the Coupe, leading to dwindled support for the team, along with the sport
Good things never last forever

As for my opinion, I believe it is going to last, with the recent increase in popularity simply too great to dismiss as an isolated statistical abnormality, which will lead to great new fitness and sports programmes that will make a lasting change on the apathetic and not quite sporty Aininian society.

However, it is to note this is solely my own thoughts on this subject, and the first major challenge for this to happen will be the Court of Public Opinion, after tonight’s match.

And once, again, we sign off today with the phrase “to another great day and an even greater game”. Keep on being awesome and rocking on, Aininians.

-ABC Sports Editorial Team

by **Geadland** » Tue Dec 03, 2013 7:32 am

Enrume Ogen, a satirical newspaper, reports
CHRISTMAS TO BE CANCELLED!
Government to axe double bank holiday

Kåre Rötterhaim, the Minister of Culture, Media and Sport, has announced that Christmas Day and St. Stephen's Day will no longer be bank holidays, because the cost of having the population off work for two days is "bad for businesses."

The controversial proposals comes as part of the government's program to keep the deficit below 3% of the country's GDP. Rötterhaim said that a single bank holiday costs the economy Γ6bn and the combined effect of having two days of rest in a row at Christmas is even more damaging. "The timing of the compulsory Christmas holiday is also highly inconvenient or businesses. The middle of December and the end of year sales are some of the busiest times of year in the retail industry. Having a holiday between the two is bad for businesses."

However, the move is causing friction with in the cabinet. Jüte Rosengard, the Minister of Housing and Urban Affairs, said that "Although I recognise that Christmas is an inconvenience for businesses, I still think it should remain a holiday because it's a nice 'fuck you' gesture towards the Muslim population." Her spin doctor Markus Forster has reportedly warned her that the move "would alienate key constituency voters - which is why it's better to do it now and get it out of the way."

The move has been strongly opposed by the opposition and by trade unions. The Socialist People's Party have proposed moving the date to Pir Muinten's birthday instead. The New Alliance supported the proposal, saying that "All businesses have a fundamental right to decide for themselves when to give holidays to their employees."

The Church of Geadland also voiced their opinion on the matter, but nobody cares.

by **Ainin** » Tue Dec 03, 2013 8:40 pm

BREAKING | 6-1 Victory Against Patriots
Progressing into quarterfinals after shock victory against Luziycans

Awww yeah!

And the Tricolour Crush shows no indications of stopping anytime soon.

For the first time in modern Aininian history, football fans took to the streets, turning the downtown cores of multiple cities into massive makeshift nightclubs, a phenomenon triggered by the Coyotes' unexpected massive 6-1 victory against the Luziycan Patriots, taking, foe the first time, the #1 position in Group 3 and successfully qualifying for the quarterfinals, in which our lads are going to face the Everians who, frankly, we have no idea how they've managed to stay in this long and with such a good score.

The match itself was a palpating one, with the score remaining tied at 1-1 well halfway into the first half, with the newfound success of the Coyotes, towards the end of the first half, greatly puzzling both sides, being the subject of widespread chatter on the internet in numerous Esquarian nations. This victory, although strategically of little significance, caused celebrating Aininians to flood the streets, parka and pubs everywhere from Forestia (pop: 16m) to Hartly (pop: 14m) to the small hamlet of Snowdon-on-the-Lake (pop: 57). Through the cacophonic shouts of delight and laughter was heard the now-iconic phrase "To another great day and an even greater game", sung, yelled and whispered through the country, and beyond. As a fan had put it to us during a vox pop interview earlier today, "now the Luziycans, reigning champions, know. Their lead was not irreproachable, and we destroyed it!".

Meanwhile, on a less nationalist tone, fan favourites Swilatia, along with Quebec, won in Group 1 and are set to face Group 2 victors Iglesiantis and host Jahistic Unolia, which is still leading the pack with 15 points, respectively. In group 3 now, Ainin, along with second-place Luziyca, will move along, and are set to compete against Everia and Vyvland, respectively. The stakes are increasingly high for all teams, as this game will be a make-or-break scenario for all involved.

But we shall not falter against adversity, Ainin, our land of liberty, shall firmly stand (yes, we're stealing lines from 18th century anti-Namorese poets).

-ABC Sports Editorial Team

About me · by **Luziyca** » Tue Dec 03, 2013 8:59 pm

Sporting champions of Esquarium: falling into the pages of history?

The beloved Patriots lose 1-6 to the Coyotes in the final match in Kingsing

KINGSING, UNOLIA - Today, in the critical match against Ainin, the Patriots have suffered their first loss on the global stage: a humiliating 1-6 defeat to the Coyotes. The Patriots were Esquarium's golden child during the inaugural Chaska i Esquarium held last year, not losing a single match and bringing home our first title. We still clinched the quarter-finals, but we made it all the way last year.

Despite our make-and-break situation last year, we persevered, ensuring that we won our title. The Patriots thus were now expected to live up to their performance a few months ago, and thus, Luziycan fans were horrified when our lads lost to Ainin, falling into second. Our only goal was 12 minutes in, when Samara Kosnoy kicked a ball into the net. We then were on the losing end for the rest of the match, despite a tie and an attempt to score the goal, we just could not.

Hope Cook said, "It is a realization that the Patriots can no longer rest on their laurels: that from here on out, we have no choice but to win, or we are returning home."

In Luziyca, some angry fans rioted, damaging a bar, and a police station in Gijirokastra, a cinema in Semprihevosk, and damaged the FC Moglinov Stadium beyond repair in the capital of the bankrupt state of Moglinov. Around 150 arrests have been made, and President Breuvi Shjoraski is urging the locals to "support our team responsibly."

Luckily, we have not been eliminated, unlike the nation that occupies and exploits Oteki to the east, which luckily will be sent home. Our next match will be this Thursday in Roosmore against Vyvland, and we wish our lads luck in this match. We pray that we will win a second title in the Chaska i Esquarium, or at least, get into the top three.

by **Ainin** » Wed Dec 04, 2013 6:52 pm

EDITORIAL | Could we win the Coupe d'Esquarium?
By Walter C. King, ABC News columnist

Could we win the Coupe d'Esquarium?

With Ainin's recent 6-1 victory against crowd-favourites and incumbent champions Luziyca, one that came as a shock to both sides, bringing it to the number one spot of Group and sending it to the quarterfinals, we now have to ask ourselves “what is our chance of winning the Coupe d’Esquarium?”. The answer to that question bases itself on a large number of variables. I’ve come up with these hypotheticals, based on what I believe are the events most likely to happen:

Ainin v. Vyvland
Assuming:
Vyvland eliminates Luziyca (possible)
Ainin eliminates Everia (probable)

Result: Inconclusive
The Vyvlander National Team so far, has been performing extremely well, being undisputed first of their group, and would be a major challenge for the Coyotes. This is why we have reason to believe that a match between the Redheads and the Coyotes would be unpredictable and a victory, by either side, would be extremely small.

Ainin v. Luziyca
Assuming:
Luziyca eliminates Vyvland (possible)
Ainin eliminates Everia (probable)

Result: Probable Victory
Judging from the recent Ainin v. Luziyca match, ending in a humiliating 1-6 loss for the crowd-favourite Patriots, we’d say Ainin would have the advantage, with superior strategy. However, Luziycan play would be significantly better over the previous match, as they presumably would have learned from their mistakes.

Ainin v. Swilatia
Assuming:
Ainin eliminates Everia (probable)
Ainin eliminates either Vyvland or Luziyca (possible)
Swilatia eliminates Iglesiantis (a no-brainer)
Swilatia eliminates Unolia (probable)

Result: Probable Loss
The Swilatians are not to be underestimated. So far, their record during the tournament has been nothing short of incredible, and they are in a very favoured position to win the Coupe this time. Beating Swilatia would be a monumental task, and our lads probably aren’t ready for it.
(plus, if we win, the Embassy in Vivlek would probably burnt to the ground, and the Foreign Office doesn’t like paying compensation to dead civil servants)

Ainin v. Unolia
Assuming:
Ainin eliminates Everia (probable)
Ainin eliminates either Vyvland or Luziyca (possible)
Unolia eliminates Quebec (probable)
Unolia eliminates Swilatia (possible)

Result: Inconclusive
So far, Unolia is the leader of the pack, but I’m not actually sure of their qualifications. Its grouping, Group 2, has not put up much of a challenge for the Unolians, and we’re not sure of their qualifications against, say, Swilatia or some other historically-successful teams. It could very well go either way, really.

In conclusion, let’s aim for fourth place and hope for the best. That is, if the Everians don’t pull a well-hidden trick and get us eliminated first.

With that being said, I’d like to note that the comments are pre-moderated and that any hate mail will be deleted. Please send any slander or death threats to my email inbox instead.

Walter C. King is an ABC News columnist and a self-described pessimist, who famously predicted back in 1997 on live television that the concept of a mobile phone would never catch on. You can reach him at wc_king@abcnews.ai.

by **Ainin** » Fri Dec 06, 2013 2:01 pm

4-3 Victory Over Everia Guarantees SF Spot
"That was close": Manager

We're running out of stock photography

After a tight victory over the Everians in a game that had ended 3-3 at the end of regulation time but was won with a single goal scored by Emmanuel Victor in overtime, Ainin is set to face the Vyvlander national team in a semi-final match today. Today's game will be of utmost importance, as the winners will advance to the finals, while the losers will get a shot at the third-place title. So far, Ainin's performance in the Coupe d'Esquarium has been amazing and, according to many, simply miraculous, and as a Vyvlander sports commentator so well put, "I didn't know [they] had a football team until last week".

The recent victory against Everia has been hard-fought and, after the decisive goal, triggered some of the largest celebrations ever seen in Aininian history, with upwards of 200,000 people estimated to have crowded the streets of the national capital, with some sporadic riots and vandalism incidents, causing roughly $300,000 worth of damage, leading to large amounts of military policemen reportedly being deployed in the downtown cores of Forestia, Jasper Hill, Hartly, Bunidaburg and Mont-Pelier, an unprecedented event. The match itself was palpating, with Everia originally leading 2-1 during the first half, but with the lead slowly dissipating until around halfway through the second half, when it completely vanished with a goal from Cherlovsky, tying the score at 3-3, which stayed that way until the end of regulation time, leading to an extra time period in which team captain Boris Cherlovsky marked a goal, making the score 4-3 and allowing Ainin to advance to the semifinals, which will probably the most hard-fought game of the tournament so far for the Coyotes.

Meanwhile, in a completely expected turn of events, Swilatia has defeated Iglesiantis 4-1 and Unolia has defeated Quebec 1-0, and will face each other in the other semifinal match today, one that is generally predicted to be won by the Swilatians against hosts Jahistic Unolia.

Here's to another game and to another success for our lads.

-ABC Sports Editorial Team

by **Ainin** » Fri Dec 06, 2013 2:28 pm

EDITORIAL | What'd I tell ya?
By John Wright, Professor of Political Science at the University of Hartly

Yes, I am aware that this image has already been
used in an article. But we're out of new ones.

So, what I tell you?

The recent success of the Coyotes in the Coupe d'Esquarium, a surprising and quite shocking phenomenon, for both domestic and international observers, has caused football frenzies around the country, that, less than two weeks ago, didn't even know that we had an association football team, and boosted the sale of football-related memorabilia to historical highs and caused sign-ups in youth football clubs to rise by over 140%, two statistical realisations that show no sign of slowing down in the next few days. For the government, of course, this turn of events represents a golden occasion to pull off a plan to cut the defence budget, with the newly-freed funding going to education, recreation and welfare that, less than a month ago, threatened to spark a backbencher uprising, but that, yesterday, when it came in for a vote on the House floor, passed with a supermajority of 211 ayes, 67 nays and 22 abstentions, with many of the ayes coming from the opposition being from populist politicians seeking to exploit the recent fervour in relation to the Tricolour Crush.

Meanwhile, around the country, abandoned and discarded sports stadiums are beginning to be renovated, shining a new light onto Ainin's long-dormant sports sector, which has been plagued by embarrassing losses and extremely low rankings, as evidenced by the recent First Coupe d'Esquarium and by the Summer Olympic Games, where in both cases Ainin placed extremely low. The recently discovered success has also increased the popularity of sports and other physical activities, which is extremely welcome news for a country whose Ministry of Health labels the status quo as an "obesity crisis of utmost importance" and a "public welfare disaster".

If Ainin was to win the Coupe d'Esquarium, or even classify amongst the top three, it could give a tremendous, and probably permanent, boost to the Aininian sports sector, which has been in decline for over a century, one that has become increasingly sharp, with, until now, no reversal in sight. If we were to actually defeat the crème de la crème of Esquarian sports teams and win the competition, it could lead to a massive and economically amazing boost to Aininian industry, productivity and morale.

Go Coyotes!

Dr. John Wright is a Professor of Political Science at the University of Hartly, Father of Three and Occasional Columnist for ABC News. You can reach him at jwright@uhartly.lk.ai.

by **Vyvland** » Fri Dec 06, 2013 4:23 pm

English • Enlaan / Sport / Lysie • Vrigsdeg, 6f. Decembre, 2013 • Geniymeked 04:17

Syfmion blocked off after Vyvlander win

Only bridge to island shut by Vyvlander border guards to 'prevent tension'

The Vyvlander border gate, looking towards Vyvland

Late yesterday evening, Customs and Entry Office (GEB) guards situated at the Syfmionbruj were instructed to shut the gate on the Vyvlander side, thereby preventing all traffic from travelling between the Luziycan-controlled mainland and the Vyvlander-controlled island of Grysmion. The bridge is the only entry point onto the island, which has been leased to Luziyca since 1948 for operation of a military base.

The act comes after Vyvland's defeat of Luziyca 4-1 in the quarterfinals of the ongoing Coupe d'Esquarium in Unolia, thereby knocking Luziyca out of the tournament and ensuring Vyvland progress to a match against Ainin today. The result has reportedly caused minor scuffles in Namor in addition to Vyvland and Luziyca.

Deputy Director of the GEB Aanjres Straand stated that the move was "not motivated by any political reasons at all, " adding that the gate's closure was "purely to ensure the safety of Vyvlanders and residents of Syfmion in the wake of something that many people may take more seriously than expected." He also stated that the move had been planned before the game started in case of a large win for either Vyvland or Luziyca.

The closure of the bridge was reportedly provoked by a group of football fans in orange shirts attempting to cross the bridge from the Vyvlander side. It has been reported, although not confirmed, that Luziycan military police have shut off the tunnel which leads from the bridge to Syfsdop, the Vyvlander-controlled portion of the island.

This is the second time in the past month that foreign bases in Vyvland have come under scrutiny; in November, Iglesiantis's military base in Pee came under fire, both in Vyvland and in Iglesiantis, after revelations that the base holds nuclear weapons. The island of Syfmion has also been in the news recently for a high-profile kidnapping. Both of these, borded guards say, heightened the risk of tension.

Border guards expect the bridge to reopen within 24 hours.

About me · by **Luziyca** » Fri Dec 06, 2013 6:57 pm

PERKELE! PERKELE! PERKELE! PERKELE! PERKELE!

The end of the road for the Patriots for the Chaska

ROOSEVORT, UNOLIA - Our lads lost to the satanic Vyvlander team 1-4 yesterday. Our only goal was 11 minutes in the first half by Sahoya, before we got hammered by the red-haired demons from hell. After our loss to that team, the embassy of Vyvland in Bethlehem had saw a storm of protests condemning the Vyvlander victory. In some places, there have been riots, but for residents in Sudalto, it was simply terrifying to see the country that reunited three decades ago defeat the Luziycan team.

Tied 1-1 at the end of the first half, the Devils scored three more goals, thereby removing FC Semrov from the running of the Chaska i Esquarium and thus, ensuring we will not win twice in a row.

After our loss, riots have broken out in Sudalto, with sixteen people aged 16 to 29, led by Private Paulstone Jennings (aged 28) attempting to take over Syfsdop by car, causing the Luziycan military police to shut down the tunnel to Syfsdop after Vyvland closed their bridge. Paulstone Jennings is currently awaiting trial by a military tribunal, and would likely be given a dishonorable discharge. 41 people have been arrested in Sudalto. Damage was also made to the Nicena School, with a broken window costing 30 lira.

Elsewhere, protests outside the embassy of Vyvland were dispersed by police, and 15 arrests were made for damage to the embassy, mainly by throwing eggs at it, but a few threw rocks, causing Д2,000 worth of damage. Elsewhere, the police kept order with the Square of Nations in Gijirokastra having peaceful protests against the victory without any damage, but it was still stressful.

Dag Hammerskjold, former Commander of LAFB Sudalto from 1975 to 1992, and Mayor of Sudalto from 1992 to 1996 said, "Our loss to Vyvland is a bit of a concern: with Vyvland closing the bridge to Sudalto, and a movement of youths demanding to take over Syfsdop and incorporate it into Sudalto, it is a bit worrying for the future of this base because Vyvland may take it over, and then we may end up being deported out of the land which many of us now have lived for generations."

President Breuvi Shjoraski condemned the actions of Private Paulstone, and his gang and said, "Just because we lost to Vyvland doesn't give us the right to riot and take revenge: we had to shut down the tunnel to prevent Paulstone from causing un-needed aggression against Vyvland."

What is certain is that we are no longer in the Chaska and must wait until the third Chaska i Esquarium before we redeem ourselves. May our lads win next time, and may we conquer every other team!

Esquarium Today [Regional News, CLOSED]

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