Substitutes for actual affection

[Tahar Joblis]

The poll is, unfortunately, limited by a ten-item checklist. I would like to invite discussion of these various devices; which of them are immoral, and why; which are creepy, and why; and which of them are pathetic, and why. I would like it if you clarified which are which, but there's no reason to be explicit about how you or someone else uses them - this is a PG-13 forum. I'm interested in your huffy judgements, moral uproar, and derision; the policies you would like to make respecting these devices; et cetera. Your political opinions, in other words, not sex tips.

Do you find the use of these things empowering? Their manufacture degrading? If you hold substantially different opinions about different items on the list, I'd like to know why you distinguish them.

Before anyone asks, no, I don't own any sex toys, and this isn't about my sex life or about me, personally. Minds out of the gutter, folks. I'm interested in seeing if people fulfill my expectations in how they perceive human sexuality and the objects which people use to achieve one or another sort of satisfaction that is traditionally supposed to follow from being in a happy romance.

You might believe some of these items overlap; I've separated "realistic sex dolls," by which I mean RealDolls and the like, from inflatable sex dolls with the idea that people will want to distinguish between them. If your opinion is unbroken across the category lines, just check [or don't check, as the case may be] both categories, please; if it's more complicated within a category, please flip a coin to decide whether or not to check that box, and then please do elucidate.

[JuNii]

Do you find the use of these things empowering? Their manufacture degrading? If you hold substantially different opinions about different items on the list, I'd like to know why you distinguish them.

1) I don't. others might, But I dont.
2) no.
3) nope

Substitutes for actual affection, as a single middle aged man, I can't see or imagine finding Substitutes for actual affection in objects. A pet would be, in my opinion, an appropriate Substitute for actual affection.

but seeing that my apartment doesn't allow pets (outside of fish), I'm left with my own imagination.

[Lackadaisical2]

I don't find any of them immoral, but I do find myself thinking that flesh lights are weird, but dildos and vibrators aren't, meanwhile porn is fine but erotic fiction is weird. Sex dolls of all types and pillow people are just sad, since it seems to invoke loneliness more than strangeness to me.

[Tahar Joblis]

meanwhile porn is fine but erotic fiction is weird

Could you elaborate on this opinion a little? I'm surprised, I've always thought most people think of erotic fiction as more acceptable than [visual] pornography.

[Non-Exploding Cupcake]

I'm more likely to make decisions based on why you're using substitutes for actual affection—i.e. whether it's because you can't get any in real life or because you actually prefer it that way. The former is more likely to invoke pity.

I also think devices to simulate sex are less creepy than devices to simulate love/an actual relationship due to, I suppose, a tendency to think of sex as a somewhat mechanical action that doesn't necessarily have any emotional ramifications. It seems somehow more understandable for people to just want to get off. Maybe that's unfair of me.

None of them are immoral or pathetic.

[Frisbeeteria]

I think your thread title is somewhat misleading. I can't imagine any of these 'tools' being used to emulate affection. Gratification, yes, but affection implies an emotional subtext that simply doesn't exist in this context.

Immoral? No.

[Zijeme]

I do find myself thinking that flesh lights are weird, but dildos and vibrators aren't

Nice and consistent.

[JuNii]

but I do find myself thinking that flesh lights are weird, but dildos and vibrators aren't,

using a dildo on a flesh light?

[Tubbsalot]

I consider the artificial vagina, both sorts of sex doll, and pillowpeople to be creepy in use. I was on the verge of adding the elaborate sex machine in too, but I was swayed by the fact that I like machines and engineering, so I feel like it's more awesome than creepy.

None of them are immoral, obviously, and I feel that only people can be pathetic, although the use of such things might contribute to such a perception.

Apparently I'm massively biased against sex toys for men, but I suspect I don't like the artificial vagina because it would be incredibly filthy (meaning opposite of clean) and the others because they're all fake people, so they a) fall into some variant of uncanny valley and b) come across as replacing an actual person with a thing. It's like stuffing your parents and keeping them in the lounge.

[Tubbsalot]

meanwhile porn is fine but erotic fiction is weird

Could you elaborate on this opinion a little? I'm surprised, I've always thought most people think of erotic fiction as more acceptable than [visual] pornography.

Everyone can understand why you'd like naked people, but erotic fiction can conjure up images of someone in a pitch black room getting off to a story of A Man Who Loved His Bike.

[The Joseon Dynasty]

Everything except pornography and erotic fiction. Once it becomes tangible, I'm disturbed.
I mean, fleshlights are vaginas on a stick, right? Too much for my pedantic conservative sensibilities.

[Tubbsalot]

Everything except pornography and erotic fiction. Once it becomes tangible, I'm disturbed.
I mean, fleshlights are vaginas on a stick, right? Too much for my pedantic conservative sensibilities.

What do you think of hands, then?

[The Joseon Dynasty]

What do you think of hands, then?

Blasphemous!

[Lackadaisical2]

I do find myself thinking that flesh lights are weird, but dildos and vibrators aren't

Nice and consistent.

I know, but that sort of reaction isn't entirely based on any rational thought processes.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Who cares what other people do in their spare time?

[Lackadaisical2]

but I do find myself thinking that flesh lights are weird, but dildos and vibrators aren't,

using a dildo on a flesh light?

Hawt.

Who cares what other people do in their spare time?

*peeks through your window from a neighboring tree*

[Yootwopia]

I like how "affection" and "sexual gratification" are basically the same thing in your mind. Says a lot.

[Povos do Mar]

Other than James Brown, what on Earth is a sex machine? I'd google it, but it sounds like something I'd rather not search for.

[Cameroi]

nothing in the poll has anything to do with affection. its all about sexual gratification without causing pregnancy nor requiring the availability of a sexual partner.

affection = filia. sex = eros. these are completely and entirely seperate issues. some people may require them combined, obviously, considering the market for prostitution, some do not.

this is neither a good nor bad thing, but simply diversity being the nature of reality. the only bad thing as lack of consideration for others.

solo sex is not a form of thoughtlessness. it may even be a requirement of good health. even when one has a partner. even an unusually cooperative one.

[Non-Exploding Cupcake]

I like how "affection" and "sexual gratification" are basically the same thing in your mind. Says a lot.

I assumed "affection" was being used euphemistically.

[1000 Cats]

I really don't feel I'm in a position to belittle anyone's sexual preferences or practices. Even if I was, I don't find any of those things creepy.

[Lackadaisical2]

meanwhile porn is fine but erotic fiction is weird

Could you elaborate on this opinion a little? I'm surprised, I've always thought most people think of erotic fiction as more acceptable than [visual] pornography.

I think it comes from a reaction when I was younger to seeing such openly displayed whereas other erotic material would never we left in the open, this in turn I found to be disgusting. The more I think of it, its probably just a leftover of that impression.

[Mike the Progressive]

I wouldn't say the toys are necessarily substitutes for actual gratification (affection, I think, is the wrong word unless you only use a toy and have fallen in love with it), but depending on the partner, can actually compliment and increase the experience. I'd say none of it is creepy. People get off in different ways, so as long as nobody is harmed and I have the choice to not watch, do whatever the fuck you want.

[Tahar Joblis]

I think your thread title is somewhat misleading. I can't imagine any of these 'tools' being used to emulate affection. Gratification, yes, but affection implies an emotional subtext that simply doesn't exist in this context.

Immoral? No.

Sorry, you're right. I'm talking like an awkward health teacher talking to twelve-year olds in class on "sex ed day" following a lengthy meeting with religious conservatives on the PTA. It's a bad word choice.

People do sometimes derive emotional comfort from a familiar inanimate object (and not just the ones listed - teddy bears, security blankets, figurines, jackets) but "affection" does seem to suggest the object is doing something other than... well... being a mindless object.

I don't think the objects are being affectionate! I do think people use these sometimes as substitutes for actual affection in their lives, though. Masturbatory aids or emotional comforters. In some cases, like the "pillow girlfriends," owners may do quite a bit to anthropomorphize the object. It isn't their only use, of course, but c'est la vie.

[Voljnek]

Im not sure if this appropriate for NSG