Lord Dreadfire to rally all dictators

[Automagfreek]

~From the desk of Lord Damien the Destroyer, Supreme Warlord of the New Gothic Empire of Automagfreek~

Long has it been since the Old Days when the world sat divided between democracy, dictatorship, and communist state... but alas those days have returned. Automagfreek remembers well the history that it helped write, history that spans the ages and goes back to a time when alliances like GDODAD (Global Dominion Of Dictators Against Democracy) and later the Dominion, GOD (Gathering Of Dictators), and so on joined our like minded people under a single umbrella where we stood for a common cause; the survival of our way of life. Now granted, the great and almighty Gholgoth defies historical trend by remaining the only regional alliance where nations of all walks of life co-exist in harmony, but alas the world as a whole is not as kind.

These appear to be trying times once more, not for a great and powerful Empire such as Automagfreek, but for those who share a similar ideology. As history begins to repeat itself we stand ready to re-apply the lessons we as a people learned so long ago and unite all of our brethren across the globe. I hereby call upon leaders of every authoritarian state to join with me as equals and stand as one once more, for the communist and capitalist seek to stamp out those they deem a threat to their survival, which would be us. By merely existing we have pained a target on our backs, and we cannot afford delay.

While Automagfreek is certainly capable of defending itself from any onslaught no matter how large, there are many who are not as fortunate as we. Should you heed my call for unity and seek to solidify ourselves, then none shall dare to strike at us for fear of utter defeat. I invite all who hear this message and seek to stand as one to contact me directly, for the hour draws late and with each passing moment the hoards of craven dogs close in on you. Do not go quietly into the night... join with me and the future chapters of world history will be ours to write.

[Prekonate]

Oficiální Prohlášení o Prekonatá Republika

While normally we would ignore such a long-winded message from a likely senile man cultivating ideas of dictatorial world domination merely because his title is so ridiculous, you have found Kancléř Havlicek in a rather good mood. It would be prudent to inform you that your message has been given to a poor family on the streets of Ostrava to use as kindling -- at least in some way, your words have helped the world, and for this we thank you profusely.

The idea that we would need the help of this "Automagfreek" is laughable, and that we would want it is even moreso. Even during our short time on the world stage, the stories of horror which come from the lands of Gholgoth are legend, and to claim that Gholgoth represents a bastion for states with a single ruler is frankly false. It represents nothing more than an alignment with the worst sort of dictatorships; the sort which force aforementioned democracies to view us with suspicion. Any grouping of nations which can take orders from a madman such as yourself will meet with cheers on the streets of Ostrava as it is kicked into the dustbin of history.

You insult not only the Kancléř with this disgusting generalization of authoritarian states, but you insult the legions of men who have died in Prekonate's name to ensure that our nation remains a safe haven from the sort of ilk you wish us to join hands in brotherhood with. We highly suggest you choose your words more carefully in the future, lest you find our future messages somewhat less cordial.

[Automagfreek]

~From the desk of Lord Damien the Destroyer, Supreme Warlord of the New Gothic Empire of Automagfreek~

I find your lack of respect for those far superior to you most entertaining, for when you insult me you insult the most dangerous man on this planet. Perhaps those in Prekonate are simply too stupid to realize that the entire population of your pathetic speck of a nation barely matches that of a single Sentinel Cohort, and your best defenses could easily be overrun in mere minutes. This is likely from generations of inbreeding, for such rampant stupidity only emerges every few decades and is most amusing to behold.

So please, little ones, sit and stew in your jealousy as we continue to shape the future as we always have. Should any in Prekonate utter so much as another word that displeases me, I will not hesitate to smash all that you hold dear into total ruin, even though it gives me no pleasure to kill an entire population of insolent children and crotchety old women such as yourselves. Though on second thought, my Sentinels could always use the target practice.

[Jenrak]

To Damien Dreadfire, Supreme Warlord of Automagfreek,
From the Desk and Dossier of Lord Edoqlius,

It certainly has been a while since the days of the Global Dominion of Dictators against Democracy, and frankly, more recently these days too many tinpot dictators without a single direction for management and military movement are able to stand against the more developed and formed Communist and Democratic states and super-national alliances imposing themselves upon the world. I would not call the court of my precious King, who sits so gracefully upon her porcelain throne, to be a dictator, but it is certainly not of the Communist, the Democratic or any other sort of government system that benefits us as they believe it benefits them. No, rather, I find that kinship amongst the jackboot and the truncheon is more appropriate than the ballot and the sickle, so I will extend my hand.

Unless I receive word from my King that such an action is a foolhardy one, I would too like to extend my offer to assist the despot in his quest for stability, as the control and movement of resources through corporate-friendly nations are always the best customers. While within your absence the world grows chaotic, it is certainly an amusing sight. Ah, that beautiful orchestra of the marches. How soothing it is! The Amalgamate, in all their interests, and for the sake and safety of their interests around the world, will be providing support to those who find that Democracy, Communism or what-have-they simply isn't the way the world rotates, and that investments must be defended, and stability maintained. I will be giving what assistance I can, for the interest of my King and the interest of my nation makes sweet desires that it would be prudent to befit us of a group.

Yours truly,
Lord Edoqlius of Nakros Aughrek

[Taerkasten]

HUDSON PALACE

To all concerned,

It is, surprisingly, reassuring to see such an eloquent letter arising from Automagfreek once again. The political landscape of this world has shifted so dramatically of late that my intelligence agencies have not even heard of a great deal of the nations now conducting their affairs on the world stage. Considering the relative silence from your particular portion of the globe, it seemed to many as though Gholgoth as a whole had ceased to exist as an entity. While many may lament the re-emergence of your regional alliance, it is at least recognisable in this wide plain of obscurity we find ourselves lost in at present.

All this said and done, however, one is curious as to the precise meaning of your rallying cry. Are you inviting nations into the ranks of Gholgoth, creating a new alliance, or simply hosting diplomatic talks for somesuch goal? Likewise, your specification of 'dictators' would appear to exclude such hereditary, absolute monarchies as that of Taerkasten, and one wonders if this was your intent?

One does look forward to hearing more on this matter.

Yours sincerely,



His Royal Majesty, King Benjamin I,
Royal Kingdom of Taerkasten

[Prekonate]

Oficiální Prohlášení o Prekonatá Republika

Oh joy, you have found it prudent to insult our intelligence; interesting then that you are the one who has taken such a defensive stance to our "small and pitiful" nation.

If you are truly so dangerous, why then would you feel the need to surround yourself with a web of allies? Why, from the way you speak we have half a mind to assume that you yourself, in all your "Lordship" can take on the whole of our nation and come out victorious!

Ah Damien Dreadfire, you speak as though you have seen all, and yet your naivety is staggering. You measure your worth by the nations you have destroyed, and you flaunt this worth as if a single soul other soul besides yourself cares to measure it. Why, the mere fact that you would consider genocide of our people because of the words of our government speaks volumes to your character, and only serves to highlight our qualms.

You seek to surround yourself in numbers -- you speak of them often. You envelop yourself in allies and your insatiable hunger for more is what leads us to worry for the future of our world. Yet through all this you seem to miss what it is you most desire; power is not measured by numbers alone, nor by how many titles you place before your name, nor even, despite what you may believe, by what you claim in your government statements. What the Kancléř lacks in numerical support he makes up for in the devoted love and respect of his people, and the knowledge that when nations such as yours bring your brand of tyranny to our shores, that love will manifest itself in a force more powerful than anything your hollow mind can imagine.

[Automagfreek]

Greetings Lord Edoqlius! You must forgive me, for my memory is not as sharp as it once was, but I believe it has been many ages since our two peoples have interacted. Lord Dreadfire is most thrilled to hear your response and your interest in dialogue concerning His rallying cry, and I would like to clarify that while Jenrak is not ruled by what most would consider a dictator, it is a like minded state and would most certainly be welcome to join us in future discussions. We look forward to working closely with you all in the very near future.

********************

Greetings to all in Taerkasten! Though we have not yet had the privilege of formal relations, we are most pleased to hear of your interest in Lord Dreadfire's message. We in Gholgoth have certainly not vanished from the face of the earth, and our operations as of late have been low key since we are enjoying a relative peace. I can assure you that we will be around for many more centuries to come.

With concern to your inquiry, Lord Damien's message was transmitted by the Information Ministry and was titled as such for the sake of news organizations, and I would like to clarify his stance. He most certainly welcomes dialogue with dictators, emperors, and kings alike, and we would be most interested to discuss matters further with your representatives, for it was not his intention to exclude any of the aforementioned. The purpose of these talks will not be a recruiting drive for Gholgoth, but instead to form a new and grand union so as to protect our mutual way of life from outside aggression.

-Minister Hartman
AMF Ministry of Foreign Affairs

******************

Upon attempting to pen a response to the latest dispatch from Prekonate, Hartman let loose a bellowing laugh in personal enjoyment. In his years he had seen many a nation tempt fate in much the same way, and certainly he would not be surprised to see a Sentinel Legion use the entirety of their nation as an artillery testing ground. He thought it largely a waste of his valuable time to try and communicate with a people who obviously did not know enough about Freekish history, for he knew that the claims that somehow Automagfreek relied solely on allies and numbers were false. Memories of Operation: Hellfire, a war in which Automagfreek single handedly repelled the invasion of a loose 6+ nation coalition, played through his mind clearly as if it were yesterday. He also remembered the alliances that were made up of many countries which were also crushed by Damien's hand alone, and thus he saw no point in engaging in argument with a small and unknown nation, for he saw no need to "prove" AMF's might to someone who knew not of it.

Ignorance is bliss... He chuckled to himself as he went about business that he deemed far more important.

[Espaea]

To: Lord Damien Dreadfire | From: Espaean Foreign Affairs Ministry | Sub: Pathetic Rally

The long winded speech from the legally senile man, "Lord" Damien Dreadfire, is no more than kindling in my hearth; it is where it can actually serve as something useful, rather than bantering rubbish of the forgotten old days. There is a reason that Automagfreek and its horde of wenchs in the Vorgoth Pact is beyond it's fifthteen minutes of fame; as no sensible world leader cares to hear the jumbled ranting of pompous, senile, and over aggressive war veterans. The days of old are not recurring, and the world is not that of the sick, twisted and perverse ways that they were when your saddened, trodden reign came to power.

I only echoe the calls of my brethren in Prekonate, as surely they are the only sane leadership to choose from when I look at Gholgoth and I look at him. Gone on and rant and rave of your days of fame and glory, and your glorious empire fueled by the lies of the powerful. Your time has ended and your voice is no longer cared for in the light of modern day international politics. At this stage you are only the light, annoyed voice in the background, enraged over your loss of interest. Gholgoth is merely down trodden has beens, doing whatever they can to be in the lime light, for only those few precious seconds.

Take your armies, take your letters, and take the little sanity you have left and leave the world stage, it is much cleaner with out you. I have no time for the irresponisble, simple minded, and reckless maniacs in Gholgoth to prance around waving their old banner of failed fame around to gain attention. So with that, I writ my hand. I leave this message to you with the hope that you will take the message and leave while you still have dignity, however little there may be.

Julian Ingvar Sulisław
Prime Minister of the Free Lands of Espaea

[Oseato]

To: Damien Dreadfire, et al. | From: Office of the President of the Oseaton Federation | Sub: "Look Upon My Works, Ye Mighty, and Despair" | Encryption: None

The Federation of Oseato would like to hear the Freekish response to the Prekonati statement. It strikes me as rather arrogant for a country to hide behind a shield of numbers and unfounded claims of greatness. This "Damien Dreadfire" fellow is quite bold with his statements, yet cannot find the time to manage a simple diplomatic reply? One must assume Dreadfire knows only how to kill a man, and not communicate with the outside world like other national leaders.

While the Federation of Oseato is a military junta and not quite in line with a standard democracy, we must side with our fellow lovers of liberty, of freedom. All these promises of protection and greatness come with the heavy tyranny of the Freekish elite, a murderous lot who care for nothing but their own well being and prestige. Dreadfire demands respect, but gives none, and thus, commands none. Is this truly the markings of a leader? To the civilized world, the answer is a glaringly obvious "no." He does not give freedom, he cares not for the protection of any country that joins him, but only for the protection of the his own power. Any "allies" of the Dreadfire will be bled white in the defense of the tyrannical Freekish government, puppets to be used and cast aside as necessary.

We hope more countries will see through this ruse and defend their own freedom from this tyranny. I applaud the great statesmen of Prekonate and Espeae for their willingness to stand and declare their freedom, to rise against tyranny and say no to veiled imperialism. Hopefully the Freekish people will be free from the bonds of their leaders and know true liberty. Until that day, may the rest of the world see what this rallying call really is: the lies of a power hungry dictator bent on nothing more than total Freekish hegemony across the world.

May freedom prevail, may tyranny fail,

Zackary Hamilton
Field Marshall, Oseaton Federal Army
President of the Oseaton Federation.

[Hamilay]

Official Statement of the Federal Republic of Hamilay


The Republic feels compelled to release its own statement on this recent initiative by our Freekish comrades. It appears that the backlash against the esteemed Lord Dreadfire's rallying cry is mainly from its targets, other authoritarian states such as Prekonate and Oseato, their main arguments being that they claim to be slightly less tyrannical than the Freekish Empire. If not simply hypocrisy, this is at the very least extremely disingenuous. Liberty is not a flexible commodity up for being bought and sold, where nations with 'more liberty' can lord their superiority over nations with less; it is a principle which states are either committed to or they are not.

Thus, we must condemn the statements from self-described authoritarian tyrants around the globe who feel they have the moral authority to judge other states for disagreeing in their opinions on the correct way to apply such a system of governance. Furthermore, we must condemn the rush to judgement made upon the organisation of Gholgoth and feel it is our duty to set the record straight. The Republic is a liberal market democracy which has nothing but positive relations with its fellow Gothic nations. No Hamilayans have died for the notion of Freekish world domination, which can frankly be described as nothing more than bizarre, conspiracy-theory delusion, and indeed no Hamilayans have gone to their deaths unwillingly for Gothic interests at all. We trust our relations with our comrades will continue to be positive, and we trust in the will, ability and honour of our fellow Goths to defend us in our hour of need, as we would do the same.

As always, the Federal Republic remains a nation committed to its founding principles of freedom and democracy, and as such, we believe we are excluded from this initiative on principle and have no interest in being involved. Nevertheless, we extend at the least our statement of non-interference in Freekish foreign policy affairs, as is only proper, and we wish our allies luck.

The Right Honourable Matthew Garnett
Minister of Foreign Affairs and Trade

[Watcherazazel]

Lord Dreadfire,

as ruler of the nation of Watcherazazel I must humbly ask you a question: How can you claim to be fit to lead an alliance of dictators when my sources tell me your nation provides "some" political freedoms?

sincerely,

Duke Kyle Stewart of WatcherAzazel

[The Parthians]

Official Statement from the Shah of Parthia

First, it is necessary to provide statement towards the international joke that is Espaea. While I am certain our Freekish comrades take offense at your pathetic mewling and insults towards their state, there is one matter that must be settled between your tinpot joke state and the Shahdom of Parthia. Though Lord Dreadfire is more than capable of responding to your… for lack of a better word- criticism of his state, the Shahdom must, of course, inform you of the truth in this world.

Gholgoth is not dead, no, far from it. You say our time is ended, but really, I think it is you who is sooner to meet your end than us. We are far more powerful than you or the other would-be great leaders seeing it fit to insult us. We are unimaginably powerful, capable of destroying nations many times your size and power, without any significant cost to ourselves. We have done this many times over, to nations much more powerful than you. Lord Dreadfire needs no introduction. The abilities of the Sentinels and their history speak volumes; they have destroyed nations which made the world tremble in fear, many times again and again.

I kindly suggest that you take your worthless statements and hide in the hole you call your nation, lest the Shahdom take enough offense to grind you into the dirt and plant an orchard of your impaled citizens. I can and will do this if you push me enough, and I will enjoy personally releasing Mr. Sulisław from this mortal coil after he grants me sufficient entertainment from his cries of agony. Do not doubt my word on this matter; it could be a very fatal mistake to do so.

Take heed before I deliver to you what is apportioned.

As to the esteemed Lord Dreadfire, while we are not, in the strictest sense of the word, a dictatorship, and, in honesty, I dislike being referred to as one; we can certainly appreciate the benefits of authoritarianism. Order is a fundamentally lacking force in this world of today, and to restore it would be something the Shahdom sees as an honourable and excellent goal.

Parthia will offer this movement our full support, to assist in the protection of authoritarian rule from Communist and Democrat. That is our word on this matter. Let the dictators unite against the entropy and chaos the world of today is filled with.

Signed,
Shahanshah Khosru III of Parthia

[Prekonate]

Oficiální Prohlášení o Prekonatá Republika

My Lord how the fools do carry on! This Dreadfire fellow must truly be an iron-fisted dictator; otherwise we have no doubt that his people would have overthrown him decades ago simply to cease his and his allies' incessant whining. We will personally be making inquiries as to the ages of these "Gothic" states' leaders, whose intelligence is perhaps only a few steps above those barbarians of their namesake! Threatening torture from tens of thousands of kilometers away? Sirs, these are the musings of frightened children, of hurt animals, but certainly not of "great" world leaders.

You claim in one breath that Gholgoth is not dead, and yet in the next you sputter claims as to what the aforementioned has accomplished in the past. We could fill volumes simply speaking to your states of the exploits of the Prekonatá Republika in the wars against its neighbors, yet do we? We rest easily knowing the things that our people have accomplished in the name of Prekonate, and yet you feel the need to continually whimper about days past, about wars you have triumphed in and men you have tortured. Is it any wonder why the name of Gholgoth has not been taken seriously in the courts of our nation for generations?

We expect nothing more than a collection of hurt, babbling children to reply to this statement with a list of exploits which has been compiled in the late fifth century, and as such, we have prepared twenty-four pacifiers in stamped envelopes to be sent immediately upon the reception of said statement. Perhaps they will amuse you as much as your replies have amused us.

[Sarrowquand]

Whilst the Dominion of Sarrowquand is undoubtedly a democratic state we as a nation make few distinctions between liberal democracies, authoritarian pseudo-tyrannies and semi devolved anarchies; we do however distinguish between those that appear to us to be self aggrandising murderous bullies, and legitimate state bodies.

As long as a state fulfils its duty to its people and the world then we have few complaints about the form it takes on. It is only when a nation can only be distracted from a world crusade of squandering resources by its own massive self congratulation that we look on with a frown and query its legitimacy.

This means that we see little reason for your new alliance of dictators aside from the obvious gathering of bullies cheats and sore losers that it is sure to become.

If AMG is so rich in power that it feels it can destroy any nation that even contemplates an insult against its greatness then you must be much wealthier then we had previously believed. In fact your willingness to distribute this power across the world may make you one of the most charitable nations we have ever come across.

It seems more likely though that an inability to force your agenda onto the wider world has led you to pull your marauding claws back into your shell and that this is the reason that you are reduced to reminiscing over the glory days of your youth when you were in fact a significant power (at least I am assured that you are were by yourself and your allies).

I implore you to accept the truth that, the many campaigns of which you can boast have left you a tired old man and brought about your weariness: Grandfather advise the tyrannies of today and tell them your stories and perhaps they will be able to avoid the fossilisation process.

Of course mine is and probably never will be a great nation like yours but maybe that’s for the best because it doesn’t seem to have made you very happy Sirrah Dreadfire.

Grey 60,465 of the ministry of minor affairs
Dominion of Sarrowquand
Rated by ODECON as T for tyranny for tax reasons.

[The Zoogie People]

...he knelt, alone in the grand imperial Drascan Hall. The only light came the slight opening of giant, ten-meter-tall heavy doors; a sweeping arc of intense white intruding upon an utterly dark and silent chamber. Silence. At last, the command: "Rise."

Michael Hansien rose, adorned in the most ancient ceremonial robes. Lavishly ornate, but something he was, by now, accustomed to. A peculiar sight, though, for those who hadn't seen the man recently - and there were many of the international public that had not. He stood slowly, head still bent. "My Lord."

"Why is it that the Task I've asked of you has not been completed?" A dangerous flash of the eyes. "It is, after all, but a simple task. And I expect my Consul to do what is asked of him, though he may consider it menial."

"No, my Lord - it is not that I consider it beneath me. I have explained to you my personal reservations ... "

"And those reservations are none of my concern!" Nostrils flaring, the Emperor stood. "CONSUL Hansien. I must insist that this matter be completed with no further delay. I find your dallying already unacceptable."

The slightest hesitation, then - "...yes. M'Lord." He bowed once more, and swept away...

A requested audience with the Lord Dreadfire, of Automagfreek

It must be strange, Lord Dreadfire, to find our nations in contact once more. Stranger, still, to find me in this position. A champion of peace, isolation, democracy, disarmament. A former President, elected president! of The Zoogie People. And yet we do find this day, when I am sent to you at the bidding of my Emperor, the chosen agent for the communication of his Excellency's wishes.

It is a difficult and awkward position. I know not whether I believe in the message I am bade to deliver, but it is not I who represents Zoogiedom now.

Zoogiedom is not new to dictatorial rule; hardly. But the Second Empire is a young one, and we all remember the days when we were a fluorishing democracy. Now, however, we are united under the Great Sebastian Tang, and I am accorded the great honor of this Consulship to ease with the transition period. Zoogiedom, the Second Empire, is hungry to reassert herself on the international scale. Our military, long-dormant, now masses, and thirsts for new blood. We reach out to those who we have called our friends, and pledge brotherhood.

It is strange that the New Gothic Empire should grace us with a message of this nature, but today we'll answer the call. We know not what you seek, if indeed you have specific aims, but the Emperor has his own private ambitions, and is certain you may have yours. Let us at this time open the channels of communication.

Perhaps at last, we may find some use for each other, and Freek and Zoogie shall fight side by side...

Consul M.Hansien
on behalf of the Emperor Sebastian
of the Second Empire of the Zoogie People

[Allanea]

Official Message from Alexander Kirillovich Kazansky

Alexander Kazanky appears on screen. He is sitting on a massive, elaborate throne, mounted in turn upon a series of black obsidian steps. Worked into the throne in such a way he can rest his feet upon them, are the skulls of several Ralkovians and East Congarese. Behind Kazansky directly we see his massive personal banner – a black eagle holding a sword with one leg on a gold background with red trim, with the words “The Sword is Ready and the Claws Outstretched” as the motto. On the right we see the Allanean flag, on the left – the Greater Prussian Imperial Flag. The President is dressed in his black-and-silver parade uniform, decorated in various medals – including the awards given to him by the Freekish state itself, wearing his ceremonial pistols and with the grip of the Sword of Allanea visible behind his shoulder. He speaks.

“Greetings, dictators of the world!

Now, as some of you may know, I am a President for Life. Yet my authority is not dictatorial. I cannot declare war, pass laws, or execute Freemen at will, as some of you can. Even the Congress which holds these powers holds less authority over the life of an average Allanean Freeman. It may not ban books, or weapons, or regulate building codes and education – in short, it possesses less authority than an average city council in Pacitalia.

To be truthful, I despise dictators. They are like the stereotypical criminal scumbags, crowbar in hand, lurking in back allies to rob old ladies and take their purses. As Elias Kanetti pointed out, the very desire to be a dictator, the craving for unlimited power, is a disorder akin to those that take sway over the lives of the criminally insane. In short, dictators rank somewhere between child molesters and serial killers on the morality scale.

And yet, I would like to give out some advice for the dictators of the planet. I see that one of you – Damien Dreadfire – is seeking to set up an alliance to protect you all from the likes of me. I am sure that the desire to be hidden from the vengeful sword of freedom-loving states is overwhelming. I am sure that you would like noting more than to hide behind some big, muscular man, lest the big, mean Allaneans, Questarians, and Prestonians come and take away your toys. The desire is understandable. I am sure if I were Damien Dreadfire, I would also be scared of the Prestonian military.

But consider for a moment the personality of that big, muscular man you look up to for your protection. In a dictatorial nation like your own, I am sure you understand that the identity of the man in charge is important. No, spare me the talk of how you are the most awesome Glorious Revolutionary Father that has ever lived. It bores me. Consider instead the personality of Damien Dreadfire.

The first thing you must know about Damien Dreadfire is that – despite being a big, muscular man – Damien Dreadfire is an epic pussy. Everything you need to know about Damien Dreadfire is inherent in the fact that his entire country is protected by a military of genetically-engineered slaves known as the Sentinels.

Now, why is that important?

It is important because Dreadfire and Automagfreek had never waged war against a foe their own size. Normally, Dreadfire wages war by joining with the hordes of his allies – and hiding behind them. When Dreadfire was opposed to Doomingsland, Allanea and the Freeks signed an alliance – and when war broke loose, it was Allanea that was invaded by the pro-Doomani forces. At that time, chattel slavery was practiced widely in Questers and Azaha, and we had no problem fighting against them – but not so Automagfreek.

I received one of the medals I wear from Dreadfire himself, for fighting against the slaver hordes. I fought and lead from the front – and we have won the day. But the Freeks did not fight. Not a single Freek had raised a sword to defend their allies. The Freeks preferred to cower behind the wide back of the Allanean Freeman, like the cowards they are. I still wear the medal – not in honor of Dreadfire, but in honor of what I and my comrades did that day.

Later on, the Freeks fought th only war that they fought without hiding behind their allies. They fought the Doomani. At the time, they outnumbered the Doomani three to two in population and forty to one in ground forces – and yet Dreadfire gave up on his war goals in the end and ran away, choosing to “ally” himself with Doomingsland instead.

In time, free from cowering behind their allies and running away from their enemies, the Freeks join up with their buddies in various acts of playground-style bullying – most famously, “intervening” in British Londinium when it was already being attacked by the entirety of Haven and invading and subverting the Mediterranican region under the guise of supporting their “allies” – a Freekish codeword for “meatshields”in the region. Everywhere, the killing has been performed less by Freeks and more by their faithful servants.

As such, it is worth looking upon the Sentinel-slaves of Dreadfire as a metaphor of the alliance your are joining. Join this new dictator union, and you will no longer be rulers. You will be yourself Dreadfire's new playthings, his new underbullies, his new slaves, with collars to your necks and leashes in his hand.

I suspect, of course, your fear is such that you will willingly sign away your sovereignty. But know this: when a war starts – as, given Dreadfire's nature as a bully and coward, it will – you will not get to cower behind his muscled frame from the Allaneans, the Praetonians and Prestonians. Dreadfire will cover behind you. When the Prestonians come, the great Gothic overlord will leave you to fight them.

All this 'alliance' will do – as the other Freekish alliances - is just provoke another pointless war, in which millions of people will pay the price. Any people, just not the Freeks. So go on and set up a dictators' alliance. But by no means should you join Dreafire's alliance. Dreadfire is not a strong, muscle-bound man to hide behind. Dreadfire is the strong, muscular man who will hide behind you. Because, as I said in the beginning, Damien Dreadfire is a giant pussy.

That is all.

May God Continue to Bless Allanea.

Fade to black. Kazansky's crest appears, with the words:

This message has been delivered with Allanean Subtlety – better than any other subtlety since 2003.

[Automagfreek]

Such brave words being spewed forth, but yet it is all in folly, for your mindless rabble is but the buzzing of flies to us. Shall any of you dare to act since you so vehemently insist that AMF is obsolete and past its time? No, you all shall continue to cower from the shadows, sniping at the great and powerful Lord Dreadfire and quickly retreating back into your caves in fear. Are there any who seek to test the might of the Freekish Empire? I think not, for it will only bring total and utter ruin. We will continue to do what we want, when we want, and there is not a damn thing anyone can do to stop us.

And once more we are graced with Allanean stupidity, for they like everyone else in this world have forgotten their history. Automagfreek has most certainly fought and bested nations nearly ten times its own size, successfully conquering every nation we fought in both World War Four and World War Five. We then faced down the Five Kingdoms, greater both in size and technology than us, and we gave them perhaps the hardest fight of their lives. And what has Allanea done? Allanea has the privilege of being smashed into the ground seemingly more times than any other, in fact I'm sure they hold a world record for it. Why should we take seriously the words of turncoats and cowards? We remember well how Allanea deserted NATO in order to spare itself from utter humiliation once again at the hands of the Questarians, for they are pathetic dogs who will desert anyone in order to save whatever scraps of dignity they have left. I can see that Kazansky, the biggest joke of a leader that ever existed, is still sore about our friendship with the Doomani, a bond that was forged in the fires of war. Why should we seek to destroy our own kind? We are much happier to be allied with the Doomani, who are true to their word and will not break and abandon those whom they swore to stand beside.

In closing (I will keep this short because I'm sure you all have extremely short attention spans), if the senile old women of Prekonate, Espaea, Oseato, or anyone else think that they can best Automagfreek, then by all means take your best shot. We will fight you alone and unafraid, for we have faced the greatest challenges this world has to offer and come out on top. We will be waiting.

-Minister Hartman
AMF Ministry of Foreign Affairs

[Prekonate]

Oficiální Prohlášení o Prekonatá Republika

Keeping in line with this business of short attention spans, we simply find it prudent to point out that Mister Dreadfire remains unable to reply to a foreign nation without immediately inundating us with hollow claims of greatness. How great you are that you challenge a nation of eight million souls to combat you! Bravo, sir!

We care not for these musings of the past, and if it is all Mister Dreadfire is capable of spewing out of his aged hole, we will depart; we have far more important nations to concern ourselves with than this self-proclaimed superpower.

To those states in this world who seek brotherhood with a nation that does not hearken back to the "Old Days" every chance it gets and wishes solely for a friendship forged in mutual respect and admiration for the cultures and histories of all nations involved, Prekonate's doors will always remain open.

[Allanea]

So, Monsieur Hartman, just how many times has Allanea been “pounded into the ground”? We remember the One-Day War, and the Edolian invasion of our country back in the day - an invasion that we note we fought off. True, we have recently – through treachery on behalf of our own staff and other reasons – ceded our colonies in Haven to pay bloated war damages. We suffered not a single civilian casualty. True, we suffered military losses – as had Automagfreek, ceding loss to the Doomani. But as for a true pounding into the ground, we have suffered only one of those – back about several centuries ago. Forget here the fact that it is more honorable to be pounded into the ground than to cower behind your allies and bully others by proxy. Honor is a concept clearly alien to these men. The most important thing here is the time-frames.

This is the difference between us and Automagfreek. Our days of true shame date back to 2003, and our days of glory are now. Your nation was glorious and strong in 2003. You're cowering behind your allies now. Even now, Hartmann is sent out to speak to the world on this issue: because Dreadfire is afraid, we suppose, to embarrass himself.

But that is irrelevant. To attack our arguments based on the history of Allanea is to engage in a giant logical fallacy. Had not Allanea uttered them, but a giant, flea-ridden sea-otter thrown out of the sea had condemned the Freeks for their cowardice and bully-like behavior, the sea-otter would have been right, and Minister Hartmann would have been wrong.

Of course, those who disagree with us are free to make the experiment. Gamble your nation – and the lives of your citizens – on it at your own peril. We warned you.

As for the threats of the Freeks.... they have made such threats before. We are still here – and worse yet, so is almost anybody whom the Freeks had threatened to invade on their own. And as for their honor

Just ask the Doomani.

That is all, and may God continue to Bless Allanea.

Maverick Monningham,
Secretary of State

[Sortmark]

Magnus IV, King of Sortmark, Great Jarl of Novgorod and Protector of the Lands of Rus, and lord of many other realms besides,
to Damien Dreadfire

My lord has received your invitation but finds it unsuited to his purposes. My lord neither thinks it good to ally with a warlord who proclaims himself invincible - and he would remind his peer that the Father of Battle gives victory to no man forever - nor is it right that leaders who cannot by their own strength defend their positions and lands should keep them. My lord will undertake no obligation to do such weaklings' work with his own men's blood.

Written in my hand,
Einar Sigurdsson
Speaker of the King's Law

X
Magnus IV