BEFORE
The Free Land of Arganzuela was crippled by the purest form of an insidious governmental system known as “democracy.” Arganzuelans had excessive social freedoms and all-too-frequent elections, and they descended into a “tyranny by majority,” where the majority regularly voted to increase its benefits at the expense of various hapless minorities.
The situation was untenable, so President Philip Legazpi sent an appeal to a nearby nation, the Supreme Playground Empire of Pasig, and begged its ruler, Empress Edition Barbie, to annex Arganzuela to Her empire.
Pasig was everything Arganzuela was not.
What we need is the exact opposite form of government, a government exactly like Your supreme playground empire has. But more than that, the people of Arganzuela need to be brainwashed by Your propaganda, and we need to have those among us who oppose You crushed.
-President Legazpi to Empress Edition Barbie
On March 27, 2011, Empress Edition Barbie arrived in Arganzuela with Her child soldiers and accepted President Legazpi’s surrender. From that point forward, with all the Arganzuelans’ decisions being made for them by Pasig’s Empress, they began to realize the true meaning of freedom.
AFTER
Empress Edition Barbie accepted the Arganzuelans’ surrender and placed Arganzuela under Her protection, making it no longer a “free land” but a “colony” of Her supreme playground empire, and the full name of Arganzuela changed to reflect that.
The flag of Free Arganzuela was struck and replaced with the Empress’ colonial flag. The motto was changed to reflect the Arganzuelans’ newfound freedom, and the national animal of Pasig, the teddy-bear, was adopted as Arganzuela’s national animal. The Arganzuelan peso was demonetized, and the Pasigeno lolicoin became the colonial currency.
Philip Legazpi’s official title was changed from “President of the Free Land of Arganzuela” to “Barbie’s Premier Slave of the Supreme Playground Empire of Pasig’s Colony of Arganzuela.”
Elections were outlawed. From then on, all of Arganzuela Colony’s political decisions, as well as Barbie’s Premier Slave Legazpi’s personal decisions, would be made by Empress Edition Barbie.
Empress Edition Barbie slashed taxes in half, and ordered Arganzuela’s forests bulldozed for their uranium resources and gave colonial citizens the right to be nude in public. After these measures, the tyranny ended and Arganzuela was reclassified as “democratic socialist.” Then the Empress abolished all minimum wage laws, and Arganzuela was further reclassified as an “inoffensive centrist democracy.”
To give Empress Edition Barbie more Arganzuelan toys to play with, she ordered legislation legalizing human cloning, which we'd always been dead-set against before our surrender. Now, Arganzuelans are cloned for a variety of purposes, including research.
For more, see below
