I might be becoming schizophrenic.

[Diseased Imaginings]

I don't really know what to think right now, I'm really fuckin' worried.

the bolded below are the symptoms that I can self-identify:

Symptoms

Schizophrenia may have a variety of symptoms. Usually the illness develops slowly over months or years. Like other chronic illnesses, schizophrenia cycles between periods of fewer symptoms and periods of more symptoms.

At first, you may feel tense, or have trouble sleeping or concentrating. You can become isolated and withdrawn, and have trouble making or keeping friends.

As the illness continues, psychotic symptoms develop:

*

Appearance or mood that shows no emotion (flat affect)
*

Bizarre movements that show less of a reaction to the environment (catatonic behavior)
*

False beliefs or thoughts that are not based in reality (delusions)
*

Hearing, seeing, or feeling things that are not there (hallucinations)

Problems with thinking often occur:

*

Problems paying attention
*

Thoughts "jump" between unrelated topics (disordered thinking)

Symptoms can be different depending on the type of schizophrenia:

*

Paranoid types often feel anxious, are more often angry or argumentative, and falsely believe that others are trying to harm them or their loved ones.
*

Disorganized types have problems thinking and expressing their ideas clearly, often exhibit childlike behavior, and frequently show little emotion.
*

Catatonic types may be in a constant state of unrest, or they may not move or be underactive. Their muscles and posture may be rigid. They may grimace or have other odd facial expressions, and they may be less responsive to others.
*

Undifferentiated types may have symptoms of more than one other type of schizophrenia.
*

Residual types experience some symptoms, but not as many as those who are in a full-blown episode of schizophrenia.

People with any type of schizophrenia may have difficulty keeping friends and working. They may also have problems with anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts or behaviors.

source: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001925/

these symptoms have been developing steadily over the past year and a half. I recall learning about it in psychology, and that it usually develops in males around the age of 18-20. I'm 19. I've had numerous suicidal depressions (that luckily don't last for more than a few hours), and I almost bought potassium cyanide pills online once. I don't know what I should do. I don't have any close friends who I can talk to, and I hate my family. Are there any places that I can go to be diagnosed discretely, and for free? I have no money. I'm scared.

[Novograd IV]

Are there any places that I can go to be diagnosed discretely, and for free? I have no money. I'm scared.

If you could get to the UK and get a citizenship...

Unfortunately, if there's no money in the vault the best you can do is google for an hour to find a legit help site with less trolling than the norm.

[Dustistan]

Don't try to diagnose yourself. The symptoms may be signs of something else completely. Or, you may be misreading perfectly normal behaviour. Seek professional help, mention the symptoms, and answer any questions honestly. Even if you have a real problem developing, you won't be able to solve it without professional help.

I'll be praying for you.

[New Hayesalia]

Don't listen to the voices. That is not a leprechaun telling you to burn stuff.

But seriously, you can free-call these guys for help.
(800) 969-6642

NB- Don't trust 4chan.

[Tsaraine]

The first thing I have to say is that there are a number of people on the forum who are liable to make light of your situation; they know who they are, and they also need to know that I will be distinctly unamused if I see them doing it. A distinct lack of empathy is also a diagnosable mental illness.

Secondly, self-diagnosis of mental illness is problematic because mental illness diagnosis uses a sort of checklist rather than a medical test ("If bacteria X is present, patient has disease Y"). This means that people who think they have mental illness can see themselves in the checklist and incorrectly diagnose themselves. Looking at that checklist, I'd say you could just as easily have a clinical depression disorder, generalised anxiety disorder, or any of a bunch of other boxes you might fit into. But you are in the general target bracket for schizophrenia, and if you're genuinely concerned, it's worth checking out.

Thirdly, what support is available to you depends upon what country (and sometimes state/province/district/whatever) you live in. As a start, I'd try googling for your country's national mental health service; you ought to be able to get some idea of where to look from there.

Other players may have more advice specific to their nations of origin.

[Zilam]

Don't self diagnose yourself. Been there, done that. Thought I was bipolar. I was just going through a tough spot in life that was causing me to stress out a bunch and act weird.

[Diseased Imaginings]

Don't listen to the voices. That is not a leprechaun telling you to burn stuff.

But seriously, you can free-call these guys for help.
(800) 969-6642

NB- Don't trust 4chan.

I don't hear voices, and I don't have visual hallucinations. The things that worry me the most are:
-I have relatively often (at least twice a month) episodes of deep depression

-I often feel completely emotionless and apathetic

-I have trouble relating simple concepts and ideas to people sometimes. I can see them in my head fine, even visualize them and how they work together, but I can't verbalize them.

-I often have delusions that I'm the smartest person on earth and that I'm going to overthrow the current political ideologies and implement my own. These are usually accompanied by fantasies of inventing interstellar travel and creating my own civilizations.

-I cannot connect emotionally with people at all. I have no close friends that I can relate to or share my feelings with, just transient acquaintances who I talk to semi-regularly.

thanks for the link though, and I definitely know better than to go to 4chan with this

[Katonazag]

If you're having suicidal thoughts, seek help at the emergency room. Seriously, not joking at all.

[New Hayesalia]

-I often have delusions that I'm the smartest person on earth and that I'm going to overthrow the current political ideologies and implement my own. These are usually accompanied by fantasies of inventing interstellar travel and creating my own civilizations.

You seem like an average RPer

Try signing up here, perhaps. Seems legit, apart from the Small Penis Syndrome forum...

Whoops, linky

http://community.mentalhelp.net/

[Diseased Imaginings]

If you're having suicidal thoughts, seek help at the emergency room. Seriously, not joking at all.

I'm not, currently. Suicidal urges don't happen very often to me, not nearly as much as general depressive episodes.

[Diseased Imaginings]

-I often have delusions that I'm the smartest person on earth and that I'm going to overthrow the current political ideologies and implement my own. These are usually accompanied by fantasies of inventing interstellar travel and creating my own civilizations.

You seem like an average RPer

Try signing up here, perhaps. Seems legit, apart from the Small Penis Syndrome forum...

except that I actually think that they are completely possible sometimes. They're more than your average daydream.

[Dagnia]

When it comes to psychiatry, don't jump to any conclusions, even about whether to be screened or not. Many psychiatrists are paid by drug companies to hand out prescriptions the patient doesn't need. At worst, they could take your freedom away and make sure you have less rights than a prisoner in a concentration camp. And when you realize you made a mistake and want out, they will drug you even more and shock your brains out if you get too loud.

As I am not a Scientologist, I am willing to admit that there are mental problems and that all psychiatry is not evil. If you do find you are schizophrenic, look for a counselor who uses a philosophical/humanistic approach. The drug companies don't like them, but they will not take your freedom away and they won't give you drugs that you don't need (you won't have to pay for more than your visit.

Try this test. It is extremely basic, but it was the most I could find. The source seems okay.

http://psychcentral.com/quizzes/schizophrenia.htm

[New Hayesalia]

You seem like an average RPer

Try signing up here, perhaps. Seems legit, apart from the Small Penis Syndrome forum...

except that I actually think that they are completely possible sometimes. They're more than your average daydream.

Now you seem like a hardcore RPer. Look, cal lthat number. They can recommend you to anything better than we can.

[Diseased Imaginings]

Now you seem like a hardcore RPer. Look, cal lthat number. They can recommend you to anything better than we can.

I'm afraid to. I feel that if I do actually reveal this to professionals, that I'll be diagnosed as an insane person and won't be allowed to lead a normal life. I'm almost done with my undergraduate degree. I want to live a successful life. I don't want to be marginalized by society as some decrepit freak incapable of thinking and creating. I don't want to be institutionalized.

[The Merchant Republics]

Don't listen to the voices. That is not a leprechaun telling you to burn stuff.

But seriously, you can free-call these guys for help.
(800) 969-6642

NB- Don't trust 4chan.

I don't hear voices, and I don't have visual hallucinations. The things that worry me the most are:
-I have relatively often (at least twice a month) episodes of deep depression

-I often feel completely emotionless and apathetic

-I have trouble relating simple concepts and ideas to people sometimes. I can see them in my head fine, even visualize them and how they work together, but I can't verbalize them.

-I often have delusions that I'm the smartest person on earth and that I'm going to overthrow the current political ideologies and implement my own. These are usually accompanied by fantasies of inventing interstellar travel and creating my own civilizations.

-I cannot connect emotionally with people at all. I have no close friends that I can relate to or share my feelings with, just transient acquaintances who I talk to semi-regularly.

thanks for the link though, and I definitely know better than to go to 4chan with this

If you look at it, you have about 40% of the onset symptoms, that is generally not enough for a positive diagnoses. That suggests that your difficulties may be the result of something else.

The first thing you need to do is get a professional diagnoses, amateur diagnoses can make things worse for you if you aren't careful, it can convince you that you have something that you don't, a professional diagnoses will find out with much more certainty what might be occurring.

I however don't think it's schizophrenia, so long as you don't begin to experience the more tell-tale signs. Right now you are showing signs of several possible issues, so saying it is schizophrenia may lead you to ignore more plausible possibilities.

[New Hayesalia]

Now you seem like a hardcore RPer. Look, cal lthat number. They can recommend you to anything better than we can.

I'm afraid to. I feel that if I do actually reveal this to professionals, that I'll be diagnosed as an insane person and won't be allowed to lead a normal life. I'm almost done with my undergraduate degree. I want to live a successful life. I don't want to be marginalized by society as some decrepit freak incapable of thinking and creating. I don't want to be institutionalized.

Insanity is not defined as that. Technically, the only way you'd legally be disadvantaged is if you had an actyual disability such as Downs Syndrome. Schizophrenia or depression are not grounds to take someone off an undergraduates course.

[Diseased Imaginings]

If you look at it, you have about 40% of the onset symptoms, that is generally not enough for a positive diagnoses. That suggests that your difficulties may be the result of something else.

The first thing you need to do is get a professional diagnoses, amateur diagnoses can make things worse for you if you aren't careful, it can convince you that you have something that you don't, a professional diagnoses will find out with much more certainty what might be occurring.

I however don't think it's schizophrenia, so long as you don't begin to experience the more tell-tale signs. Right now you are showing signs of several possible issues, so saying it is schizophrenia may lead you to ignore more plausible possibilities.

thank you for saying this, it is somewhat relieving. I realize at this point that it could be several things. The lack of visual and auditory hallucinations coupled with most of my other symptoms makes me think that it could just be depression. It's really the delusions of grandeur that make me the most worried.

[Arumdaum]

I don't really know what to think right now, I'm really fuckin' worried.

the bolded below are the symptoms that I can self-identify:

-snip-

source: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001925/

these symptoms have been developing steadily over the past year and a half. I recall learning about it in psychology, and that it usually develops in males around the age of 18-20. I'm 19. I've had numerous suicidal depressions (that luckily don't last for more than a few hours), and I almost bought potassium cyanide pills online once. I don't know what I should do. I don't have any close friends who I can talk to, and I hate my family. Are there any places that I can go to be diagnosed discretely, and for free? I have no money. I'm scared.

Schizophrenia may have a variety of symptoms. Usually the illness develops slowly over months or years. Like other chronic illnesses, schizophrenia cycles between periods of fewer symptoms and periods of more symptoms.

At first, you may feel tense, or have trouble sleeping or concentrating. You can become isolated and withdrawn, and have trouble making or keeping friends.

As the illness continues, psychotic symptoms develop:

*

Appearance or mood that shows no emotion (flat affect)
*

Bizarre movements that show less of a reaction to the environment (catatonic behavior)
*

False beliefs or thoughts that are not based in reality (delusions)
*

Hearing, seeing, or feeling things that are not there (hallucinations)

Problems with thinking often occur:

*

Problems paying attention
*

Thoughts "jump" between unrelated topics (disordered thinking)

Symptoms can be different depending on the type of schizophrenia:

*

Paranoid types often feel anxious, are more often angry or argumentative, and falsely believe that others are trying to harm them or their loved ones.
*

Disorganized types have problems thinking and expressing their ideas clearly, often exhibit childlike behavior, and frequently show little emotion.
*

Catatonic types may be in a constant state of unrest, or they may not move or be underactive. Their muscles and posture may be rigid. They may grimace or have other odd facial expressions, and they may be less responsive to others.
*

Undifferentiated types may have symptoms of more than one other type of schizophrenia.
*

Residual types experience some symptoms, but not as many as those who are in a full-blown episode of schizophrenia.

People with any type of schizophrenia may have difficulty keeping friends and working. They may also have problems with anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts or behaviors.

Well I fit a lot of them, and these have developed in me over the past eight months....

I'm probably not schizophrenic though, although the delusions do make me feel like I'm reading people's minds sometimes.

[Klaus Devestatorie]

Eh, I get exactly the same symptoms dude, but I know I'm not schizophrenic. I also have delusions of grandeur, but I can directly trace those delusions back to having around a hundred and twenty too many nations in this game. You'll be fine, so long as you do your best to surround yourself with close friends and be forgiving with them.

[Lonelyloner]

You're about... high school age or college age aren't you?
Been there done that, man. So similar to what I went through.

Thing is, at that age you're finding out the hard way that you're not as wise or as cool or as strong as you're supposed to be. And yet this is also the time you're having dreams about what you're gonna do with your life. Acceptance come hard, and delusions develop.
Friends are lost too. I mean, this is how I became lonelyloner, but that's another story ^^.

ost are:
-I have relatively often (at least twice a month) episodes of deep depression

Don't we all? We all suffer from some madness or other.

-I often feel completely emotionless and apathetic

Feeling like you 'don't care' ^^, and yet feel miserable anyway right?

-I have trouble relating simple concepts and ideas to people sometimes. I can see them in my head fine, even visualize them and how they work together, but I can't verbalize them.

Could be frustrating, until you realize that there are somethings that are not describable with words. Words are limited you know? This is why people sculp, or paint, or dance, or write songs or write poetry. Have you tried those?

-I often have delusions that I'm the smartest person on earth and that I'm going to overthrow the current political ideologies and implement my own. These are usually accompanied by fantasies of inventing interstellar travel and creating my own civilizations.

So very me ^^.
Thing is, you feel you're let down by the current situation of everything, and you totally feel it's up to you alone to make things better. Sort of like: I know better, i'd never fuck it up like the others did! So, everything is screwed up, you feel like you want to recreate everything.
I used to have plans too about how I could bring peace to the Middle East and the World ^^.

-I cannot connect emotionally with people at all. I have no close friends that I can relate to or share my feelings with, just transient acquaintances who I talk to semi-regularly.

Of course not, you're trapped in your own world, your own holo-deck. Feeling like no one understand you and all.

Truth is although I had been there, there's no fix all recipe I could offer.
It's just a phase I had to go through, feeling being alienated from the world.

But there are things that should make it better:
-get a job, or run your own business, or... do community service, even.
-eat well, eat healthy, avoid junk food.
-exercise if you feel like it.
-go see a doctor too if you don't see improvement, could be a chemical imbalance in the brain or thyroid problem. I had them too.
-get a girlfriend (or a boyfriend if you prefer).
-keep a pet.
-read Taoist stuffs.
-if all else fails, move to other town and start over.
Basically don't keep yourself idle, work and activities keep you healthy. Eventually these confusions will subside, and perhaps one day you'll see you're just being silly. It's just a phase.

Also... friends? Friends are overrated.
You need to feel good about yourself, and that self worth comes from doing something useful for the community. Then you'll know you are okay after all.

[Tsaraine]

It sounds as if you're more depressed than schizophrenic to me (bear in mind, though, that I Am Not A Clinical Psychologist). If you're scared of being locked up in a rubber room, don't be. Movies like One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest described practices of over fifty years ago; these days a lot of emphasis is put on care in the community - IE, in helping people before they need to be institutionalized. I don't think you come anywhere near the sort of disability that requires one to be institutionalized. I've got family in the mental health profession, and I can honestly tell you that if you don't want to be institutionalized any decent case worker will move heaven and earth so you don't have to be - for one reason, keeping someone in a mental institution costs a lot of money! Your worst-cast scenario is rather more worst-case than is actually likely.

[New Hayesalia]

To sum up what Mr. Tsar said up there, mental care is more like

than

[Reploid Productions]

-I often have delusions that I'm the smartest person on earth and that I'm going to overthrow the current political ideologies and implement my own. These are usually accompanied by fantasies of inventing interstellar travel and creating my own civilizations.

Do these fantasies interfere with, say, going to class and learning from your professors? This doesn't sound like a schizophrenic delusion or hallucination to me. At most, perhaps a slightly elevated level of normal ego coupled with an active imagination. I certainly feel at times that I'm the smartest person on the planet and that I could run things better than the people currently in charge, and I can assure you I am extremely healthy, psychologically speaking.

The symptoms you have bolded are also symptoms of any number of other psychological disorders; Tsaraine's already listed a few of them. Many disorders have depressions, suicidal thoughts, and flat affect as symptoms; many autism-spectrum disorders list difficulty in social situations as a symptom. Manic-depressives cycle between depressions and manias where they frequently jump from one thing to another. You could just as easily have Schizoid personality disorder or Schizotypal personality disorder rather than schizophrenia.

The problem with self-diagnosis is that you are invariably partly or entirely wrong. It's a quirk of the human brain, just like how a hypochondriac can watch an episode of House and end up 100% convinced that they have whatever rare and uncommon medical issue was on the show. We read a list of symptoms, and start making assumptions; it's entirely possible to convince yourself you have a problem when there isn't one at all. When trying to self-diagnose, we lack the unbiased outside view of ourselves and our symptoms, as well as the professional training to properly diagnose our symptoms and their severity.

In any event, you ought to be able to find a school counselor or something that you can talk to who can refer you to some service to get yourself properly diagnosed. If you do have schizophrenia, you need to start a treatment regimen; it's not an instant-institution disorder. Plenty of people with schizophrenia can and do live independently while successfully managing their symptoms via some combination of cognitive-behavioral/humanistic therapy and medication.

[Rolamec]

Don't self diagnose yourself. Been there, done that. Thought I was bipolar. I was just going through a tough spot in life that was causing me to stress out a bunch and act weird.

^This.

See a doctor, and remember, you ain't one (unless you are, in which case, you're screwed).

[Conserative Morality]

One in three symptoms does not a disorder make. Otherwise I'd be a Schizoid.