[Draft] Crying Over Spilt Milk

[IntFedia]

I heard the President talking about this in his State of the Union speech. He said it was ridiculously overbearing, so I thought it was exactly the kind of thing that the WA should do.

Category: Free Trade
Strength: Mild

RECOGNIZING that milk is a highly dangerous substance;

DECIDING it must be properly regulated;

KNOWING that the World Assembly will regulate just about anything;

BELIEVING sovereignty is a myth, and micromanagement is an IntFed conspiracy;

The World Assembly hereby:

REQUIRES that all member nations treat milk as both an oil and as a performance-enhancing for the purpose of WA resolutions and all environmental and drug-related regulations;

CREATES the Dairy and Milk Ministry, with the following duties:
1) Defining milk, dairy, rule, purpose, requires, and every other word in this proposal, including the words in this clause,
2) Performing detailed inspections of all milk processing facilities in member nations,
3) Creating and enacting rules and regulations for the proper handling of milk, and cleanup procedures for spills,
4) Creating and enacting any and every rule and regulation that might conceivably be remotely related to dairy products, milk, and farming,
5) Create licensing requirements for the proper handling, production, and consumption of milk and milk-related products,
5a) Licensing requirements should be no less strict than a 6-month training course, followed by a 1-year internship in milk handling,

PROHIBITS handling, producing, or consuming milk or milk-related products;

REAFFIRMS that the WA is made of no less than 93% awesomesauce.

[The Republic of Lanos]

I heard the President talking about this in his State of the Union speech. He said it was ridiculously overbearing, so I thought it was exactly the kind of thing that the WA should do.

Category: Free Trade
Strength: Mild

RECOGNIZING that milk is a highly dangerous substance;

DECIDING it must be properly regulated;

KNOWING that the World Assembly will regulate just about anything;

BELIEVING sovereignty is a myth, and micromanagement is an IntFed conspiracy;

The World Assembly hereby:

REQUIRES that all member nations treat milk as an oil for the purpose of WA resolutions and all environmental regulations;

CREATES the Dairy and Milk Ministry, with the following duties:
1) Defining milk, dairy, rule, purpose, requires, and every other word in this proposal, including the words in this clause,
2) Performing detailed inspections of all milk processing facilities in member nations,
3) Creating and enacting rules and regulations for the proper handling of milk, and cleanup procedures for spills,
4) Creating and enacting any and every rule and regulation that might conceivably be remotely related to dairy products, milk, and farming,

REAFFIRMS that the WA is made of no less than 93% awesomesauce.

International micromanaging...AGAINST!

[Mousebumples]

I believe you have a Category violation. Might I suggest recategorizing as follows:
Category: Micromanagement
Strength: Strong

Yours in concern,
Nikolas Eberhart
Ambassador from the Doctoral Monkey Feet of Mousebumples
WA Delegate for Monkey Island

[Soviet Canuckistan]

Approved and make sure it's defined as a performance-enhancing drug as milk=calcium=stronger bones=better performance

[Moronist Decisions]

Strongly approved, of course! Now with 93% awesomesauce.

[Damanucus]

Please, for the love of Max...

An exasperated

Stephanie Orman
Representative, Nomadic Peoples of Damanucus

[Grays Harbor]

Doesn't go far enough. Milk should be available only to those with the appropriate WA issued milk-handling license (available at many fine grocery stores WA wide). Anybody applying for the license should be required to undergo an exhaustive 6 month milk-handlers course of study, follwed by a minimum 1 year internship, to be followed by a comprehensive exam. That should learn those dastardly cow juice peddlers about foisting such a dangerous subtance on an unknowing public! THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!

[Spiral Sun]

Doesn't go far enough. Milk should be available only to those with the appropriate WA issued milk-handling license (available at many fine grocery stores WA wide). Anybody applying for the license should be required to undergo an exhaustive 6 month milk-handlers course of study, follwed by a minimum 1 year internship, to be followed by a comprehensive exam. That should learn those dastardly cow juice peddlers about foisting such a dangerous subtance on an unknowing public! THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!

The Federated Republics agree. The children tend to be the ones responsible for the wasting of our precious lactose. I am of course not suggesting that they be forced to eat dry cereal or use water when they overstep their rations. However flogging or requiring the next month of their dairy rations to be in the form of powder would not be out of the question.

[Baidu]

For a small fee, we will take a picture of the expression on the face of the WA Gnome who has to perform a really, really detailed inspection of our milk-producing facility, known fondly to the six families in the village as "Buttercup", "Daisy", "Bluebell", "Flopper", "Fred" and "You Stupid Cow".

("Fred" is, of course, short for "Frederica". It's a family name, but they didn't have any daughters.)

-- -- Bai Sun Street, earthly voice of the heavenly multiples.

[Spiral Sun]

For a small fee, we will take a picture of the expression on the face of the WA Gnome who has to perform a really, really detailed inspection of our milk-producing facility, known fondly to the six families in the village as "Buttercup", "Daisy", "Bluebell", "Flopper", "Fred" and "You Stupid Cow".

("Fred" is, of course, short for "Frederica". It's a family name, but they didn't have any daughters.)

-- -- Bai Sun Street, earthly voice of the heavenly multiples.

Sounds familiar... Is he the one he keeps causing those pictures to appear on milk cartons with the phone numbers and reward notices?

[IntFedia]

Doesn't go far enough. Milk should be available only to those with the appropriate WA issued milk-handling license (available at many fine grocery stores WA wide). Anybody applying for the license should be required to undergo an exhaustive 6 month milk-handlers course of study, follwed by a minimum 1 year internship, to be followed by a comprehensive exam. That should learn those dastardly cow juice peddlers about foisting such a dangerous subtance on an unknowing public! THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!

Approved and make sure it's defined as a performance-enhancing drug as milk=calcium=stronger bones=better performance

Yes! Yes, of course! Brilliant ideas! All now included!

[Glen-Rhodes]

1. Write a proposal about something inane that nobody would ever seriously propose.
2. Falsely claim that it accurately represents the position of "International Federalists."
3. ????
4. Nope, still not funny. But the reference to Obama is, gg.

[Frenequesta]

You forgot to ban filled milk! How are we going to get back to the more important issues of human rights if we don't?⁴

[The Gates of Evil]

Oh, damn how could I have allowed my athletes to drink milk all this time... NOOOOOOOOOOO!

I give this proposal my seal of approval

[UncleDolan]

1. Write a proposal about something inane that nobody would ever seriously propose.
2. Falsely claim that it accurately represents the position of "International Federalists."
3. ????
4. Nope, still not funny. But the reference to Obama is, gg.

I burst out laughing when I first read the proposal.

I'll support this bill.

[Connopolis]

Some hyperbolic propaganda attacking IntFeds by using a proposal as a clever proxy? A very poor attempt at being funny.

Yours in sardonic eye-rolling,


OOC: I laughed. Not gonna lie.

[Libraria and Ausitoria]

PROHIBITS handling, producing, or consuming milk or milk-related products;

Lord Whittingrey stood up, muttering incoherently for a few seconds before pulling himself together. "We were fine with this proposal - our own Office of Milk and Diary Products already does the provisions of this proposal - but then we got to this clause banning milk! We simply won't stand for it! This outrageous clause could do no end of damage to our teatimes!"
A tear ran down Lord Whittingrey's face. "Do you realize what an uncultured and barbaric suggestion this clause is? It strikes at the very heart of democracy!" he added emotionally, his voice rising to a shriek. "It's the beginning of the end! The thin end of the wedge! A bennite solution! Where will it end, the abolition of the monarchy? This must be stopped!" he said, and collapsed back into his chair, overpowered with sorrow, crying over the spilt milk that might be - the blood of his teatime culture.

[Kulaloe]

Spilt milk is definitely worth crying over. Something so good should never be wasted.

[The Most Glorious Hack]

PROHIBITS handling, producing, or consuming milk or milk-related products;

Why do you hate pizza?

[Flibbleites]

PROHIBITS handling, producing, or consuming milk or milk-related products;

Why do you hate pizza?

Lactose intolerance?

Timothy Schmidt
Bob Flibble's PA

[Demon States]

[Mizialand]

No offence but..... are you mad?

[Commonwealth Republic of Zire]

English:
In this case, let's ban milk, altogether. (sarcasm)

Zirian
En dis kase, letus ban milk, alletogeher. (socratic)

[Flibbleites]

English:
In this case, let's ban milk, altogether. (sarcasm)

Zirian
En dis kase, letus ban milk, alletogeher. (socratic)

Are you seriously going to this multiple language BS every time?

[Edlichbury]

Opposed due to rididculous circumstances. What if, mind you this is somewhat hypothetical, there was a nation of sentient milk-peoples? What would happen to them? We cannot damage them with this stringent legislation!

OOC: If Knootoss can claim alcohol is a biological weapon, I can claim sentient Milk-People.