Game Mod Olympics: Girls Just Wanna Have Fun While Ensuring Everyone Fairly and Equally Abides By The Rules
The early word was that this was sure to be our most female Game Mod Olympics ever. Last time, Katganistan was challenged by the raw masculinity of Frisbeeteria, but since that nation's sad decline into an all-consuming shrimp war, and with a couple of fresh-faced estrogenically-enhanced challengers in Kryozerkia and Ardchoille, who would fly the male flag? NERVUN? Don't make me laugh! I've seen more masculine fungus!
Still, interest was high in whether Katganistan would manage to overcome her greatest challenger: herself, from the last Olympics. Because clearly no-one from this motley crew would beat her. Not a chance! In fact, they would count themselves lucky if by the time they crossed the finish line, Katganistan hadn't finished accepting her medal, giving a profound and moving speech, showering, changing, and begun seducing foreign ambassadors!
Last time, Katganistan accumulated an incredible 11 out of possible 13 gold medals, demolishing Frisbeeteria's record and self-respect simultaneously. What would happen this time?
And here come the athletes! Kryo and Ard, performing in their first full Olympics, look fit and focused, shadow-boxing their way around the arena. Here's Reploid Productions! They said she was too old to compete, but she's really making that walking frame move! It's Flibbleites! Crowd favorite Euroslavia! And--yes--Melkor Unchained! Just when people become convinced he's an urban legend, invented to frighten small children, he reappears!
And finally Katganistan! Well look at this! Kat has decided to not bother with her track outfit, and skip straight ahead to slinky evening wear! This may be the first time an event has been won by someone in eight-inch heels!
First up: The World Assembly Events!
--- World Assembly Proposals Removed ---
1764 : Kryozerkia
678 : Ardchoille
137 : NERVUN
71 : Flibbleites
33 : Euroslavia
Bang! How do you like that!? Kryo sets the rest of the field on notice by sweeping gold! And wow, isn't she ready to let them know! Look at that strut! Kryozerkia is rubbing it in Katganistan's furry little nose! And here comes Ardchoille! Yes, she's getting involved, too! It's rough! Oh! There goes Kat's evening dress! Look away, children! Look away!
--- World Assembly Cheat Checks ---
6918 : Reploid Productions
2067 : Katganistan
1255 : Kryozerkia
805 : Euroslavia
473 : NERVUN
Has a new event started? Yes! It has! And while others are squabbling, Reploid inches her walking frame down the track! She's... she's... she's made it! Gold to Reppy! And silver to Kat, who realized at the last moment and wrestled with Kryo all the way to the finish line!
Standing on the winner's podium, Reppy seems oddly invigorated. She's casting aside the walking frame! Oh my! Screw her fragile bones, she's here to play now!
--- WA Warnings Issued ---
453 : Reploid Productions
222 : Katganistan
132 : Kryozerkia
54 : Euroslavia
33 : Ardchoille
--- WA Ejections ---
1648 : Reploid Productions
640 : Katganistan
409 : Euroslavia
312 : Kryozerkia
243 : NERVUN
What a stunning beginning! Punters holding on to tickets backing Kat to win all four opening gold medals, offered at odds significantly less than bank interest, stare in horror, and not just because Kat has now clothed herself by ripping up sections of other people's national flags! Which is kind of seriously disrespectful! No, what they want to know is: Is the unthinkable happenings? Could... could Katganistan lose?
On to the all-important Issues event!
--- Issues Accepted ---
5 : Sirocco
3 : Reploid Productions
Is... is Sirocco even in this Olympics? Didn't he cease to... no matter! The non-corporeal essence of Sirocco stands atop the dias, emanating sweet victory! Chalk up one technical, shaky success for the boys!
In the overall standings, though, it's Reploid Productions dominating, with Kat still hungering for the taste of gold! And I'm not sure that's a metaphor! She looks determined!
Reploid Productions: 3 gold, 1 silver
Kryozerkia: 1 gold, 2 bronze
Katganistan: 3 silver
Ardchoille: 1 silver
NERVUN: 1 bronze
Euroslavia: 1 bronze
Non-corporeal essence of Sirocco: 1 gold
Off to the life or death events!
--- Nations Deleted ---
3114 : Katganistan
1510 : Kryozerkia
1309 : Reploid Productions
596 : NERVUN
473 : Euroslavia
Smackdown! Kat claws her way atop the pile of bones and lets loose a blood-curdling victory scream. Officials who were approaching her with the gold quietly back away, but Kat pounces on them, tearing the medal from their terrified fingers and holding it aloft! I think she wanted this one!
--- Nations Restored ---
212 : Katganistan
85 : Kryozerkia
59 : Ardchoille
42 : Euroslavia
18 : Reploid Productions
Wait, why do we even have this event any more? Nations can restore themselves these days, can't they? It's a relic! Protests lead to much huddled discussion amongst officials, which ends when Kat begins pointedly thumping a recently acquired femur into her palm. The officials decide: the results stand!
But there is a new event: Nation Edits! Who wants to pick apart nations at the very seams and fiddle with the goopy stuff that comes out?
--- Nation Edits ---
2424 : Katganistan
756 : Kryozerkia
243 : Reploid Productions
211 : Ardchoille
204 : Euroslavia
Katganistan does! Yes! The crowd shifts uneasily as Kat plays with the entrails of her victims, laughing giddily. Let's check the leaderboard!
Katganistan: 3 gold, 3 silver
Reploid Productions: 3 gold, 1 silver, 2 bronze
Kryozerkia: 1 gold, 3 silver, 2 bronze
Ardchoille: 1 silver, 1 bronze
NERVUN: 1 bronze
Euroslavia: 1 bronze
Non-corporeal essence of Sirocco: 1 gold
Now for the events that answer the question: "When I get one of those orangey messages, who IS that from?"
--- VoM RMB Posts ---
390 : Katganistan
103 : Reploid Productions
45 : Kryozerkia
22 : NERVUN
19 : Ardchoille
--- VoM Telegrams Sent ---
4430 : Katganistan
3564 : Kryozerkia
1294 : Ardchoille
932 : NERVUN
611 : Euroslavia
It's from Kat! Or Kryo or Ard or possibly someone else, but probably Kat! Two more golds disappear into the folds of Kat's flag-dress. But let's not lose sight of the great performances from Kryo and Reppy in particular! They're staying with her! Ardchoille is mixing it up, and NERVUN and Euroslavia are keeping in touch, too! It's a strong field this year, folks!
One thing's for sure: we have a contest here!
--- Region Cleanups ---
1249 : Katganistan
665 : Kryozerkia
208 : Reploid Productions
142 : Ardchoille
139 : Euroslavia
--- School Class Registrations ---
130 : Katganistan
22 : Ardchoille
21 : Kryozerkia
11 : NERVUN
6 : Scolopendra
--- Watchlist Entries ---
790 : Katganistan
384 : Melkor Unchained
286 : Reploid Productions
143 : Kryozerkia
133 : NERVUN
Oh! Maybe we don't! Kat's hit her groove! Look at that steely focus! You do NOT want to be a foreign ambassador tonight!
Katganistan: 8 gold, 3 silver
Reploid Productions: 3 gold, 2 silver, 4 bronze
Kryozerkia: 1 gold, 5 silver, 4 bronze
Ardchoille: 2 silver, 2 bronze
Melkor Unchained: 1 silver
NERVUN: 1 bronze
Euroslavia: 1 bronze
Non-corporeal essence of Sirocco: 1 gold
And now the final, heavyweight events!
--- Help Requests Processed ---
11709 : Katganistan
7381 : Kryozerkia
3112 : Reploid Productions
3057 : NERVUN
1101 : Euroslavia
979 : Ardchoille
379 : Scolopendra
109 : Flibbleites
75 : Melkor Unchained
50 : Pythagosaurus
33 : Frisbeeteria
--- Help Requests Resolved ---
6230 : Katganistan
3165 : Kryozerkia
1041 : NERVUN
953 : Reploid Productions
790 : Euroslavia
595 : Ardchoille
133 : Scolopendra
69 : Flibbleites
26 : Melkor Unchained
23 : Frisbeeteria
--- All Moderator Actions ---
65203 : Katganistan
36765 : Kryozerkia
33858 : Reploid Productions
12913 : NERVUN
12580 : Ardchoille
11765 : Euroslavia
3299 : Scolopendra
2140 : Melkor Unchained
845 : SalusaSecondus
823 : Flibbleites
787 : Tsaraine
759 : [violet]
575 : The Most Glorious Hack
271 : Frisbeeteria
165 : Pythagosaurus
28 : Sirocco
It's the Katlympics! Once again, Katganistan prances, pony-like, to the podium, draped in gold medals! It's a record-equalling eleven golds, which is arguably not as impressive as last time since there were 15 on offer instead of 13, but nobody's mentioning that! Not to her face!
Katganistan: 11 gold, 3 silver (last time: 11-0-0)
Reploid Productions: 3 gold, 2 silver, 6 bronze (0-1-3)
Kryozerkia: 1 gold, 8 silver, 4 bronze (Did Not Compete)
Ardchoille: 2 silver, 2 bronze (0-1-1)
Melkor Unchained: 1 silver (0-1-0)
NERVUN: 2 bronze (Did Not Compete)
Euroslavia: 1 bronze (0-0-2)
Non-corporeal essence of Sirocco: 1 gold (1-0-4)
And what fantastic performances by the challengers! Thirteen medals in total to Kryozerkia, and eleven to the old warhorse Reploid Productions! They'll be replacing both her hips tomorrow, but does she care today? Not a jot! You just have to marvel at whatever medication she's on!
Since September 2009, there have been 182,776 game moderator actions performed while resolving 13,044 player requests for help. And this is just on the game side! I can't even bear to recount what our forum mods do! Sometimes I can't even look them in the eye!
Glad this place keeps running? Thank a mod today!
Thank you, mods!
We can't have Kat doing ALL the work around here, after all!
