World Cup 57 - Cafundéu & Sarzonia - RP thread

[Homelands our]

No points bottom need to think hard 3-0
Jeruselem 3-0 Homelands our
Is the score that puts homelands our bottom of group 1 they need to think it out for matchday2
Every bar in homelands our was packed out but is was unhappy fans who would in 2 and a half hours. 2 painful hours is how most of homelands our sees it.

[Iphmopf]

IPHMOPF LOSE OPENER

Iphmopf have lost their opening world cup 57 qualifier by three goals to two against a very strong Tamarindian side. Iphmopf took a shock lead through Will Kingstons opener, rushing past the Tamarindian defence and slotting home home after just seven minutes.

But Tamarind soon hit back, with winger Reuben Candal beating two defenders before delivering a peach of a cross into the path of Sergio Basta, who tapped home. And Iphmopf were in dissaray as only six minutes later, Reuben Candal scored after a brilliant mazy dribble, beating Overton at his near post to stun the travelling fans.

However, Will Kingston, who was in fine form throughout the match, levelled things with little time to spare. Recieving a beautifully weighted pass from Tom Simms, Kingston used all of his trickery to beat Hector Salinas, before slotting home against a helpless Tapia in goal.

After the break, Tamarindia came out on a mission, and dominated the play, with little success. Tom Simms almost broke through the Tamarindian back line, but for a last ditch tackle from Hector Salinas. And then Iphmopf dreams were shattered as Masvidal, in good form, scored with an audacious volley.

Iphmopf almost pulled a goal back late on, after Tom Simms cooly side footed the ball past the onrushing keeper, only to see it slide agonisingly wide. And Iphmopf will have it all to do in their next qualifying match, as they await their first win in the qualifying stages.

[Alasdair I Frosticus]

Juan Tzimisces doublechecked the seals; there was no doubt the no-suit was working. So long as he was wearing it, he could interact with any universe he entered - ordinary or dark matter - while remaining wholly apart from that universe, essentially impervious to harm. He was sealed, self-contained, simultaneously there and not there.

If it wasn't for the sheer energy required to fashion enough tachyons into a no-suit, they would no doubt have a broader application; but even in the Holy Empire there were limits to what could done outside the Dreamed Realm, once Juan and Simeone were alone, and subject to ordinary, boring physics.

Juan looked over at Simeone. Di Bradini was taking no chances; he'd packed an ordinary shortsword, a monofilament wire sword, and a no-blade. Tzimisces frowned; Simeone seemed a little too fond of swordfighting since that unfortunate incident with Jose Miguel. But then Simeone had been a mundy - and it was always useful to have some form of back-up when expecting the unexpected.

Tzimisces took a last look at the notes he'd left for Ug-Ug. While he fully expected to be back for the first matchday, it never hurt to take precautions - even when facing one of the weakest and easiest groups in qualification.

Anyway, the wily Zamboon McPherson in a pocket prison universe with multiple layers of protection.... The difficult stuff was surely yet to come; how hard could this first part possibly be?

[Thatius]

Defeat leaves some scratching their heads- will Thatius come through?

A Blog by Marcus Schrür

What? Unitopolis defeats Thatius? Yep, that's right folks. You heard it here, Thatius loses. By a margin of one goal. One freaking lousy goal. But otherwise, we're cool, and rank sixth in the group (the best for one-loss teams.) Who's to say that it was our fault anyways? Everyone gave it their best effort, and Novák Prakusya had some amazing saves. That's why we give Prakusya the MVP award. Eleven saves by the goalie, including two that were from penalties within the box.

Even some Thatians travelled to Unitopolis to watch the national team's match, and some went all out. Below, some fans from Fajaravik made some shirts with Novák's name imprinted on them.

We couldn't imagine their surprise at the loss of their team suffered at the hands of Unitopolis. No doubt, they probably changed their shirts afterwards, not wanting to be killed in the streets.

Who scored that lone goal? Well, it's not a surprise that it was Cédric Montello, the Center Forward of the team. Fifty minutes went by and no goal had been scored by either team. The Firebird's midfield controlled the ball for quite a long time, occasionally passing it up to the likes of Montello and O'Brien. But the Unitopolis defense stayed strong and counter-punched every attempt at goal. One opening, however, found its way through to the Firebirds. Midfielder Roy Seeler stole the ball from an opposing player, passed it quickly to Montello who was in the middle, who then passed it to Fabjian Tsurenko at Right Forward. Tsurenko by-passed two defenders before crossing it over to Montello, who headed it in to the back of the goal. Thatius goes up 1-0! But then, things turned ugly. The Firebird defense fell apart and became lazy. Time after time, the Firebirds were called out for unnecessary roughness or bad slide tackles. Thomaz Lionali was even given a yellow card for his two poor slide tackles. Then the Unitopolis team struck. Their constant battering of the defense left the Firebirds scattered, especially on corner kicks. Prakuysa scrambled to organize the defense, but not many players on the team were doing good coverage. Two goals were scored by the Unitopolis team in rapid succession, in less than six minutes of each other.

Rally time. Final fifteen minutes. Will Thatius come back, and score to tie it up, and see it to that there would be added extra time? Possibly. A quick advancement by the Firebirds' midfield allowed for some pressure on Unitopolis, but with a few minutes left in the game, it was not enough to construct a valuable offensive play. The whistle blows, and it's all over. The Thatians stand in shock. Was that really ninety minutes? Sadly, it was, and the team walked over to shake hands. If only five more minutes had been allowed, then the team might have walked away with a draw.

But no fear, there is always a second re-match, and this time it is at Thatius, in Campobasso. Revenge is sweet, and not too hard when you play at home. The Firebirds will have to play next in Fajaravik, Thatius, against the team from Khytenna, who are the second-highest ranked team in the group. We believe that the Thatians might put up a fight, especially since they are playing at home, in the biggest stadium in Thatius. Hopefully, it won't be as bad as everyone else thinks it will.

Keep watching the blog. Live scores will be up, as well as updates on any injuries, substitutions, and general information. Here's to Thatius qualifying for the World Cup!

[Southern Cynocephali]

---

A disappointing start from the lads who looked like they were all still on their end of season holiday. Whilst 0-0 certainly isn't as bad as some of the first round favourites fared, Ramolino and the boys won't be happy with how they failed to perform in front of a packed Waspcroft Stadium.

The team from Zhevalsso-zhevalsso turned up to Indica with one thing on their minds; coming away with one point. They will certainly be the happier team after their performance which saw them effectively 'park the bus' in front of goal. Frustrating Les Cynos for the whole ninety minutes Zhevalsso-zhevalsso were denied their only clear chance of the match by a diving Yuill. The team will need to improve on the poor finishing and final passes which ultimately cost the three points at home.

Player Analysis
Yuill - A quiet game between the sticks, he showed his excellent mental prowess by not switching off and pulling off a crucial save midway through the second half. Yuill was not bothered by the opposition save for that one moment; hopefully he enjoyed it as he won't get too many more games like that at this level. 7.0

Mancion - Solid performance in his new central defending role, Mancion looked comfortable throughout the match but did not seem to exert himself as much as he could have. 6.5

Greynold - A poor defensive error from Greynold almost gifted the opposition a goal. Greynold looked like the weak link in the defence, sluggish from the first whistle. 5.5

Kluka - Nothing remarkable about Nev's performance in this match and although there were no glaring errors, he can definitely perform better than he did. 6.0

Reidenbach - The best performer in the midfield, Reidenbach proved almost impassable for the entire match, proving too physical and too skillful for his opponents. 7.5

Zezima - Looking as if his mind was elsewhere, fans were disappointed in the performance from the experienced midfielder. Substituted for Vejarano in the 52nd minute. 5.0

Cleo Barrasa - Looked in good form early on, but seemed to struggle with the new formation - especially with having Schweiss sitting just in front of him. Cleo Barrasa controlled the play effectively, but was let down by his final passes. Needs to work hard with Schweiss and develop a more effective combination if the new formation is to succeed. Substituted for Adamo in the 84th minute. 6.5

Cangelosi - Responsible for the best chance of the match, Cangelosi took on his man and beat him, reaching the edge of the box one step ahead. Crossing the ball in beautifully, the ball arched across the box and found Bugay rising above his man. The ball skimmed past the post and went behind for a goal kick, much to the anguish of the local crowd. 7.0

Schweiss - Schweiss seemed to cope well with the pressure of making the starting eleven proper for this campaign. Unfortunately let down by poor communication in midfield which needs to be sorted out immediately. 6.5

Bugay - Missed the best chance of the match for Les Cynos, Ramolino will surely have him practising headers this week until he is concussed. Substituted for Plambeck in the 70th minute. 6.0

Mercier - A quiet day at the office, Mercier found himself under much scrutiny from the defensively minded opposition. Hopefully Mercier will get some room to stretch his legs and trouble the scorekeepers soon - he has looked especially eager for the campaign to get underway and had publicly been hoping to get on the scoresheet in front of his old club fans in Indica. 6.5

Adamo - Played only six minutes plus injury time, the young midfielder had no time to show what he can do. No Rating.

Vejarano - Looked excited if not a bit surprised to see action this early in the campaign, Vejarano replaced a struggling Zezima. Vejarano provided little spark to trouble the opposition but also held his own competently. 6.0

Plambeck - A long shot from the top of the box which sailed harmlessly over the goal was about all Plambeck managed of note in his twenty minutes of play. Provided some excellent runs for the midfielders but was unable to break completely free of the tight defending. 6.5

In the wake of their disappointing draw, Les Cynos head off to Seleucius for the first away game of the campaign. Our first trip of many to other Rushmore nations during this qualifying stage, fans across the nation will be hoping with all their might that the team can come away with something from their road trip. In the post match conference, Ramolino was adamant that he would stick with the new formation, so fingers crossed that the lads come out firing at the Estadio Carlos Adolfo Sosa, in La Plata, Seleucius.

- TMIB12

[Miley World]

Miley World Daily Mail

A draw against Western Cuba

Miley World played well and the game against Western Cuba ended with a 1-1 draw. The game was played at the Havana National Stadium, a beautifull blue stadium (well anything blue is beautifull to me). Miley World played a bit harder than Western Cuba during the first half, controlling the ball most of the time, but Hector Diaz stopped everything. Fabrice Durand (MIL) got a yellow card at the 33rd minute. Then it was the halftime. Miley World kept playing strong when the 2nd half started and it payed off, at the 54th minute Ashley Johnstone made a cross and Conor Downing kicked the ball into the net. 1-0 for Miley World. This goal seem to have woken up Western Cuba and Edgardo Mendoza scored a goal on a beautifull pass by Emilio Martinez at the 63rd minute. At the 89th minute, Gustavo Guzman tripped Grégory Dedieu. Guzman got a yellow card and Miley World were awarded a penalty shot, but Dedieu kicked the ball over the net. Final score: 1-1.

Boxscore:
54' (Miley World) Conor Downing assisted by Ashley Johnstone
63' (Western Cuba) Edgardo Mendoza assisted by Emilio Martinez

Yellow Cards:
33' (Miley World) Fabrice Durand
89' (Western Cuba) Gustavo Guzman

After the game, Miley World's head coach caugh Chris Robinson and Simon Le Tallec smoking a cuban cigar. Smoking is prohibited in Miley World so Robinson and Le Tallec are suspended for next game against Silver Beach. Vladimir, a Sao Paulo native, will replace Robinson in the line up. Miley World will use a 3-5-2 formation and only 5 players will be available on the bench.

Starting line up:
Formation: 3-5-2

GK--------------------BRADLEY JONES-------------------
D----JORGE GARCIA------ALEX------------ZEZINHO----
M--------------F.DURAND-----VLADIMIR-----------------
M----ROSS WALLACE--------------ALEXANDRE VIARD--
M---------------------CONNOR DOWNING----------------
F----------A.JOHNSTONE----GRÉGORY DEDIEU---------

Subs:
Dodô (GK)
Klopp (D)
Ceccarelli (D)
Léo (M)
Hanley (F)

Undressed:
Robinson (suspended 1 game)
Le Tallec (suspended 1 game)

Standings:

Group 19 Standings

Team                          P W D L For Ag +/- Pts
 1 Octinstine                 1 1 0 0  2  0  +2  3
 2 Pretty Awesome Persons     1 1 0 0  1  0  +1  3
 3 Silver Beach               1 1 0 0  2  1  +1  3
 4 Western cuba               1 0 1 0  1  1  +0  1
 5 Miley World                1 0 1 0  1  1  +0  1
 6 Valanora                   0 0 0 0  0  0  +0  0
 7 The Vuhifellian States     1 0 0 1  1  2  -1  0
 8 Pernam                     1 0 0 1  0  1  -1  0
 9 The Peterwood Estate       1 0 0 1  0  2  -2  0

Schedule:

Fr1 Arcatea 2-1 Miley World
Fr2 Miley World 2-4 Kernansquillec

Md1 Western cuba 1-1 Miley World

Md2 vs Silver Beach (#56) at Miley World Stadium, London
Md3 BYE
Md4 vs The Vuhifellian States (#350) at Estadio Katsu-Ya, Madrid
Md5 at Valanora (#6)
Md6 at Octinstine (#71)
Md7 vs Pretty Awesome Persons (#33) at Estadio Katsu-Ya, Madrid
Md8 at Pernam (UR)
Md9 vs The Peterwood Estate (#297) at Miley World Stadium, London

Fr4 at Silver Beach (#56)
Fr5
Fr6

Md10 vs Western Cuba (#116) at Estadio Katsu-Ya, Madrid
Md11 at Silver Beach (#56)
Md12 BYE
Md13 at The Vuhifellian States (#350)
Md14 vs Valanora (#6) at Miley World Stadium, London
Md15 vs Octinstine (#71) at Miley World Stadium, London
Md16 at Pretty Awesome Persons (#33)
Md17 vs Pernam (UR) at Estadio Katsu-Ya, Madrid
Md18 at The Peterwood Estate (#297)

Fr7 vs Nicole Scherzinger (#184) at Miley World Stadium, London
Fr8
Fr9

[Loonaterian]

LNN Sports

Bringing you closer to the action!

Strong performance sees "Big Cats" top group!

Loonaterian 5-0 Jedi8246
Boréca 21', 53', 87'                     
Kanahun 44'            
Harole 69'           

The Citadel, Torday
Attendance: 119,652

As kick-off for the World Cup qualifying match between Loonaterian and Jedi8246 approached the tension was rising as, inevitably, both sides wanted to get off to a flying start. Loonaterian were the favourites, but this was their first international football match since qualifying for World Cup 55. Right from kick-off the "Big Cats" controlled play. Jedi8246's forwards and midfielders were working hard to stop Catalunja and Forrestero from playing the passing game that they were playing. Loonaterian had fantastic opportunities for all of the first 20 minutes, but every time Jedi8246's keeper, Dan Triboult, made fantastic safes. But in the 21' minute a poor pass by Jedi8246 defender, Ben Dover, to Jedi8246 midfielder, Kris Hutchenson, was snapped up by Jani'é Boréca. Boréca sprinted forwards. He delivered a superbly placed shot into the bottom corner. 1-0 to Loonaterian. Then came a 20 minute build up which ended up at Ricardo Harole's feet, but again Triboult saved. Marco Vitatenchi took the corner. It looked like he'd overdone it, but it fell nicely to Nävu Kanahun's feet and he volleyed it in. 2-0 at half-time.

Second-half. Again Loonaterian were dominant right from kick-off. This time, however, it took just 8 minutes for Loonaterian to get the third goal of the match. Boréca's killer touch was again the offender. Vitatenchi sprinted down the wing, crossed it to Kanahun, who controlled it and passed it to Boréca who hit it first time and scored. 3-0. In the 69' minute came the next goal. A corner for Jedi8246 was cleared by Kane. The ball ended up with Harole. Harole sprinted the length of the field, dummying what little defence Jedi8246 had left, and then scored. 4-0 to Loonaterian. The 4th goal really killed Jedi8246. So much so that in the last 5 minutes they had given up and it was easy for Boréca to get the hatch-trick. And so it finished 5-0 to Loonaterian. The victory sees the "Big Cats" top their qualifying group.

Their next match will be at the Stadium of Fire in Walden Bay against Sibirsky, who surprised everyone when they were beaten, at home, 2-1 by Cote de Platine.

Group 6 Standings

   Team                     P W D L For Ag +/- Pts
 1 Loonaterian              1 1 0 0  5  0  +5  3
 2 Mangolana                1 1 0 0  4  1  +3  3
 3 Mytannion                1 1 0 0  2  0  +2  3
 4 Côte de Platine          1 1 0 0  2  1  +1  3
 5 Pasarga                  0 0 0 0  0  0  +0  0
 6 Sibirsky                 1 0 0 1  1  2  -1  0
 7 The Islands of Qutar     1 0 0 1  0  2  -2  0
 8 Dixie Provinces          1 0 0 1  1  4  -3  0
 9 Jedi8246                 1 0 0 1  0  5  -5  0

[Kernansquillec]

FOOTBALL4KERS

KERS OVERCOME SOLID EUROPEANS
It was a sell-out crowd at Football Park for the first World Cup Qualifier game. Kernansquillec's first obstical was to overcome unknown team Eastern European Nations. Unranked and without much trace of them anywhere even the KBC commentators couldn't name their players. Thankfully despite this the Green Stalions beat the unknowns by two goals to one in a game was most likely a bit too close for comfort.

Kernansquillec lined up with their normal eleven. Zacharie Larivière and Rory Roseby marked their 10th full senior international cap. The game started off evenly with neighter side realy making much of an impact. Then of the 12th minute Holmes created a chance from pretty much nothing twisting and turning 20 yards from goal and releasing a snap shot which the EEN's goaly gathered quite easily. It was Rory Roseby who created the next chance with a nice combination on the right wing with Lilac he got some space but his low cross was just too close to the goalkeeper who got his body around the ball ahead of a lurking Holmes who was looking to add to his tally of 25 international goals.

The Green and Whites were gathering momentum and soon it would pay off. Adam Lilac broke away yet again down the right flank and just when everyone thought he was going to cross the ball he slipped it back to Alex Glover who was on the edge of the penalty area. The right back knocked a dangerous curling ball towards goal and a glancing header from Suutari-Jääskö was enought to beat the keeper who didn't know wherever to go for the ball, to watch it or to dive to save the orginal shot/cross. Anyway the goal sent the Green and White crowd into roars of pleasure.

Kernansquillec looked to carry on their attacking promiss and had many more chances to extend their lead in a half where Eastern European Nations strugguled to even touch the ball for long periods. However a goalkeeper who was on form as well as a solid defence were stopping the Kers' front two. A dominant first half performance and at half time it was one nil to the Green and Whites.

The second half kicked off with a change to the home side, Xarles Cressac on for Wagbo Harold. The gamed resumed with the teams down the opposite ends they were at in the first half. The same sort of match resumed with Kernansquillec having most of the possesion and lots of shots, but the Green Stalions still couldn't find that space they needed to score.

They almost conceaded an equaliser in a rare EEN attack where they got thought the defence with a perfectly placed thought ball. But Zacharie Larivière showed why he was the number one goalkeeper in Kernansquillec getting a hand to the ball as the attacker looked to round him one-on-one. The long ball upfield by the keeper resulted in a second goal for the Kernansquillecans who didn't like almost losing a goal to the unranked World Cup debutants. A typical route one goal saw the long ball get headed on by Cressac over the last defender to Kai Holmes who was just onside. Unlike his opposite number he did manage to round the keeper and slotted home Kernansquillec's second after 68 minutes.

It should have been a comfortable end to the game for Kernansquillec against an Eastern European Nations side that had created very little all game but despite the Kers keeping hold of the ball for most of the last twenty minutes five minutes from time the Europeans scored a free-kick from 24 yards out.

It meant there was a frantic end to the game with EEN pushing for a winner and Kernansquillec hitting them on the counter every time they came forward. The Kernansquillecans kept their cool and almost scored a third with the last kick of the game when Matignon hit the crossbar from a Lilac corner. A solid performance by the Kers but the scoreline should have been higher. However credit to Eastern European Nations who remained solid behind and forced the Green and Whites to play very well in order to beat them.

KERNANSQUILLEC 2 - 1 EASTERN EUROPEAN NATIONS

Suutari-Jääskö 29' Holmes 68' ~ Unknown 85'

---

GROUP RIVALS WIN ON DAY 1, KERS SECOND
Almost all the teams in Group 1 were in action yesterday evening with the exception of the group's top seed Kazzoria. As we know Kernansquillec beat Eastern European Nations two goals to one thanks to goals from Suutari-Jääsko and Holmes.

If Kernansquillec want to have a chance of reaching the World Cup finals they'll most likly have to beat Jeruselem who beat the other unseeded team of the Group, Homelands our, three goal to nil. They go top of the group. We would bring you their goalscorers and a match report but for some reason a naked Princess Shay from Naked News Jeruselem though it appropriate to talk about pop Princess Sofia Michelle Dallas's success in the charts despite reporting live from Dazza Dallas Stadium. For those of you who like Princess Shay believe music to be more important than football Princess Sofia's single has reached number 4 spot in the Kernansquillecan charts.

Now back to more important things and a team that will be looking to beat the Kers will be Armorgames. They won their opener at home against Ponoka one goal to nil. Due to a blackout over the country we have been unable to confirm who the goalscorer was. At least they didn't go on and on about some crap rubbish CD. (But then they didn't have some hot naked princess on TV)

And the fourth and final game of the night was Princess Béatrice Island against Seunem. And it was an other one nil result in favor of the Princess Béatrice Islanders. Due to the isolation of the Island the only form of communication is by letter so we are yet again unable to bring you the name of the goalscorer or a match report. We would like to apologize to all of our readers who are extremely pissed off annoyed by this series of mishaps and we hope they won't be repeated during the course of our World Cup reports.

---

W 4-2 (Fr.): at. Miley World (Holmes [2], Lilac, Grosventre)
W 2-1: vs. Eastern European Nations (Suutari-Jääskö, Holmes)
26/10: at. Seunem (191st)
----------
27/10: vs. Armorgames (89th)
28/10: vs. Jeruselem (31st)
29/10: at. Homelands our (UR)
30/10: vs. Ponoka (294th)
31/10: at. Princess Béatrice Island (134th)
1/11: vs. Kazzoria (18th)
3/11 (Fr.): at. Darmen (92nd)
4/11: at. Eastern European Nations (UR)
5/11: vs. Seunem (191st)
6/11: at. Armorgames (89th)
7/11: at. Jeruselem (31st)
8/11: vs. Homelands our (UR)
9/11: at. Ponoka (294th)
10/11: vs. Princess Béatrice Island (134th)
11/11: at. Kazzoria (18th)
13/11 (Fr.): vs. Erathore (32nd)

#  Group 1                   P  W  D  L  GF  GA  GD  PTS
1. Jeruselem                 1  1  0  0  3   0  +3   3
2. Kernansquillec            1  1  0  0  2   1  +1   3
3=. Armorgames               1  1  0  0  1   0  +1   3
3=. Princess Béatrice Island 1  1  0  0  1   0  +1   3
5. Kazzoria                  0  0  0  0  0   0   0   0
6. Eastern European Nations  1  0  0  1  1   2  -1   0
7=. Seunem                   1  0  0  1  0   1  -1   0
7=. Ponoka                   1  0  0  1  0   1  -1   0
9. Homelands our             1  0  0  1  0   3  -3   0

---

THE NEXT GAME: AWAY AT SEUNEM
Kernansquillec's next opponants will be 191st ranked Seunem. A nation from the Rushmore Region, famous for producing sporting talent, they stormed the international stage at the most recent Baptism of Fire where they finished in second place, losing to Tamarind one nil after extra time. This being their first World Cup experiance is favorable to the Green and Whites but the Prancing Cart Horses will pose a threat to Kernansquillec.

But Kernansquillec will be expected to win despite playing away from home. The same starting XI is expected to start after the 2-1 victory over Eastern European Nations. Seunem lost their first game 1-0 against Princess Béatrice Island so on paper Kernansquillec should have a fairly easy game but in reality this won't be an easy ride for the Green Stalions who better not underestimate this opponants. For some reason that we don't quite understand the game will not be played in Seunem but in Avenion (Chenkorya) at the Avenion Sports Ground which has a capacity of 49,045.

In the other games in Group 1 top seed Kazzoria will be playing away at unranked Homelands our. Kazzoria will be looking to get their campaign off to the perfect start after having a day off yesterday. Jeruselem will be playing away at Ponoka. Ponoka may be able to cause an upset against Jeruselem with a home crowd behind them but the group's second seed will be favorites to win that game. The final game of the second day will see Princess Béatrice Island play Armorgames in one of the most intresting matches so far. The two teams who are respectively 5th and 4th seeds will be looking to get an early advantage over each over so it promises to be an entertaining game. We'll be back tomorow with all the reactions, all the results and hopefully this time all the scorers.

[Ipeland]

"Ipeland Daily Sport Only 1/2 QI
Ipeland lose close game
Texan stars as Ipeland succumb to Nitrome Island

Ipeland's qualifying campaign got off to a spirited start despite a 3-2 loss to Nitrome Island. Kevin Texan scored both of Ipeland's goals.

The first half started quietly passing making up most of the half. The few shots on goal in the first 30 minutes went to Nitrome, the one closest to scoring being tipped over the bar by the young House Sparrow Fogherty. Texan broke the deadlock on 38 minutes with a drive into the top corner. Their keeper stood absolutely no chance! Nitrome pressed hard for an equaliser for the rest of the first half and it came in the last minute of added time. The half time score was 1-all.

The second half started very well for Nitrome, scoring a goal almost immediately from kick off. Ipeland were caught napping as the Nitrome strike force skillfully ran round the Ipeland defence. Ipeland responded immediately launching shot after shot after shot at Nitrome but still not getting any goals. Ipeland's hard work payed off as Texan scored with a header on the 58th minute. It went quiet after that until the 82nd minute, when Nitrome caught Ipeland on the counter-attack and scored the winner. Ipeland pushed for an equaliser but it was too late.

See the full 2 page special on pages 3-4."

Kevin Texan put down the newspaper. He heard the trolley coming from the other end of the train's carriage. He nudged House Sparrow Fogherty, who was in the seat next to him, using his phone.

"Sparrow, SPARROW."

"What?"

"The trolley's coming, do you want anything?"

"Two Pints of beer and a packet of crisps."

"You idiot, we can't drink beer during the World Cup, not until the bye day."

"Fine then, Ipecoke* and two packets of crisps then."

"What do you want from the trolley dears", said the old lady pushing the trolley

"Two Ipecokes, three packs of ready salted crisps and a packet of salted peanuts, please."

The old lady handed over the items to Texan, then went into the next carriage. Texan handed over the crisps and Ipecoke to Sparrow and he immediately started eating.

"You're hungry." said Texan

"Yep, haven't eaten for 8 hours"

"Next game then, what do you think"

"I don't know wether I'll be playing or not."

"I think he'll play you, you did well today."

"Apart from letting in three goals."

"Apart from that."

They sat in silence for a while until Texan said, "Do you think we'll win the next match?"

"I don't know, probably not, they are ranked higher than us"

"Yeah they are probably gonna qualify but not us"

[The Kytler Peninsulae]

From the left-leaning Zube Daily Times.

Another sport, another fabulous start - another dream?
Fabulous defensive display, capped by Duggan penalty, silences hostile crowd

World Cup 57 qualifying group 12: Sargossa 0-1 The Kytler Peninsulae

It was a war of attrition. Were there to be a war between the militaries of the two countries involved - which, it must be stressed, is presumed not to be forthcoming - the Kytlerians would have, being blunt, no chance of winning. But this was sport, or as the old phrase goes, "war minus the shooting" - and there was certainly precious little shooting from the soccer representatives of Sargossa's military dictatorship, a team whose power has waned significantly since their Cup of Harmony triumph - an unusual direction after what is more typically a stepping stone towards becoming one of the world soccer elite, or perhaps a booby prize for one of that elite after a shock failure to qualify for the World Cup.

Playing a 4-5-1 formation with Cameron Upson as a lone striker, two holding midfielders protecting an already sturdy back four, and Shuke Cliriputed as a defensive-minded right midfielder, the Kytlerians gave almost nothing away in the prosaic, almost tedious, opening stages, with the midfield areas heavily congested - Sargossa, too, played a 4-2-3-1, albeit with rather more inclination to attack. At first, there was a temptation to dismiss the Kytlerian approach as fear, or perhaps playing for a goalless draw - even though the team was barely changed from the side that defeated the same opposition 3-2 at the Kytel in a recent friendly. However, isolated opportunities appeared late in the first half as the crowd grew restless and Sargossa took risks, creating counter-attacking opportunities for the Kytlerians. Cameron Upson came closest to breaking the deadlock five minutes before the break, but his header was tipped over the bar by José Antonio Leiva, who then punched away the resultant corner with Upson waiting at the far post.

The breakthrough came just before the hour mark. An early cross from Cliriputed was aimed at Upson, whose shirt was pulled by Javi Aguilar. The referee spotted the incident and quickly awarded a penalty, to fierce booing in the stadium. Shaun Duggan - who had been immense at centre-back - stepped up to take the penalty, as he tends to do, and thumped the ball down the middle as Leiva committed to diving to his right. Aguilar was booked for continuing to protest the penalty award, and was later sacrificed in favour of Iván Marcano as the Sargossans switched to 3-5-2 trying to chase the game. By then, however, the Kytlerians had made a slow game even slower, and even the electric pace of Andrés Guerrón made little difference when his crosses invariably landed perfectly in the hands of Kris Joyce. The one clear chance Sargossa had late on fell to Marcano at the start of injury time, but his free header clipped the outside of the post, and the Kytlerians saw out added time with comfort after that.

It may not be nearly the impressive opening-game scalp the Kytlerian baseball and Babbageball teams claimed on their international debuts, but it will more than do to be getting on with. The Kytlerians now play Chetkosk at the Zube National Stadium, before a bye game. Victory in that, whilst seen as unlikely, will undoubtedly spark questions as to whether the team could emulate Chetkosk themselves in qualifying on their debut despite only reaching the Baptism of Fire quarter-finals. Manager Thomas Morgan insisted he "will not be drawn" on the topic of qualification, saying only that his priority is "to take as many points as possible from this campaign, one game at a time". Pressed further, he said the official goal remains to be one of the top four debutant nations in the qualification rounds.

The notable scalp of the first game came not from a debutant, but from a returning legend, Vilita acting like they'd never gone away with a sensational 1-0 win in the Landau Institute. The route for returning legends is paved with danger, though, and Group 16 provided not one but two striking examples, Hockey Canada and Nethertopia both losing 1-0 at home to debutants Tryienne and Euskirribakondara respectively. The former in particular was considered an upset, while Euskirribakondara reached the semi-finals of the Baptism of Fire and are known to be the team with whom SO-KP most commonly compare the Kytlerian side.

[Osarius]

It wasn't flashy, it wasn't spectacular, and it wasn't particularly impressive. But it was enough. A 2-0 win over unranked Crotunda meant Alain Montblanc's first World Cup qualifying campaign as manager of Osarius started according to plan.

Entering the dressing room at half-time with the match still goalless, the players had been subjected to a slight ripple of boos from the home fans, but nothing too serious. There had been sufficient crunching tackles and near misses to keep the crowd entertained ... just about.

Alain Montblanc addressed a problem at half-time though, that would change the game. To that point, Romario Roberts had been effectively isolated, as Crotunda played a very deep line, making it hard for the young striker to find spaces and gaps, let alone chances on goal. The change was a simple one, Pepito came out, replaced by Speranzo. Roberts dropped deeper, and Speranzo was left up top, alone.

Roberts, now tracked by a lone midfielder instead of two hulking centre backs, found it far easier to hold up the ball early in the second half. With his back to goal, he received a chipped pass from Kathering Holland, and moved toward his own goal, drawing his marker out of position. Speranzo dropped into the gap, pulling a centre back with him. Roberts played a short ball to Barca-Carthy, who found Martelli cutting inside from the right. Martelli, wrong side of his marker -- the fullback -- had time to advance before weighting a pass toward the penalty spot to meet Speranzo's well-timed run. 1-0 Osarius.

Despite not really having much of a lead, Osarius rarely seemed under threat in the second half, largely controlling possession -- often in the Crotunda half -- and perhaps that led to some lax defending. In the sixtieth minute, Marco Corradini had to berate his clubmate Conor Kinsella for pressing too high and failing to track his man effectively. The Burningham City 'keeper was alive to the danger, though, and was able to thwart the forward in a one-on-one situation.

As if a slap to the face had been delivered, the Osarians stepped things up a gear. Phelps broke well down the left before grazing the crossbar with a long-range effort, and Roberts forced a fine save after a clever backheeled pass from Speranzo.

The game was tied up in the seventy-ninth minute though, as substitute Hamzah Ibrahim cut inside from the left and played a beautiful chipped pass on his right foot toward the back post. Romario Roberts thundered in ahead of the defender to power a header home.

                                Osarius     2-0     Crotunda                               

Venue: Mount Crown Stadium, Burningham, Osarius
Attendance: 76,302
Man-of-the-Match: Romario Roberts (Osarius)

Teams:

#01 M. Corradini                                                           Goalkeeper #01
#02 F. Agnelli                                                              Left-back #02
#03 G. Carsley                                                            Centre-back #04
#04 A. Barca-Carthy (c)                                                   Centre-back #05
#05 K. Holland                                                             Right-back #03
#06 C. Kinsella                                                           Left-winger #11
#07 E. Martelli                                                            Midfielder #06
#08 J. Dhanda                                                              Midfielder #08
#09 R. Roberts                                                           Right-winger #07
#10 Pepito1                                                                   Forward #09
#11 A. Phelps2                                                                Forward #10

Substitutes:

1 #14 D. Speranzo (45')                                                                  
2 #12 H. Ibrahim (72')                                                                   

Scorers:

         (E. Martelli assist) D. Speranzo [54']                                          
            (H. Ibrahim assist) R. Roberts [79']                                          .

* * * * * * * * * *

Excerpts from Alain Montblanc's pre-match notes to his players ahead of the Gyatso-kai match

Starting Lineup to face Gyatso-kai

Roberts
Simpson --- Iniesta --- Martelli
Dhanda --- Barca-Carthy (c)
Criscito --- Kinsella --- Holland --- Agnelli
Corradini

Individual Instructions

Jordan Simpson
You are playing in this game ahead of Phelps because Miyamoto's rough style of play shouldn't be intimidating for you, but he could make things difficult. If you are struggling to pass him, drift infield to pull him out of position. This will allow Criscito to overlap unchecked, especially if Dhanda can push up on the left too. I also want you to switch sides with Martelli often, so they cannot man-mark either of you.

Federico Agnelli
You will need to drop back more often than usual to help cover Tay'haai. He likes to shoot from distance, so you will have to close him down fast. This shouldn't be a problem though, because Gyatso-kai are not fielding any wide midfielders, it seems.

Ayanna Barca-Carthy
Your defensive work will be needed today, the opposition player Bralor will be the link from the defence to their striker Tay'haai. You must stop that link from connecting. Most likely this will be okay, because today you can play more centrally with Agnelli not pushing forward so much.

Enrico Martelli
You will need to be clever against Kobayashi. He will maybe try to get inside your head, so ignore him. He is also fast, so be careful when trying to go around the outside. If you are changing sides often, it will be harder for him, though. Most of the time, I expect you to look for the early cross or high through pass to Roberts.

Romario Roberts
Stay on the shoulder of the last man. Kim will most likely be marking you, as he is their best marker, so you will need to use clever running like we have worked on in training. If Wong is marking you, you may have an easier job, as he is inexperienced and perhaps less likely to mark you effectively. He is also very fast, though, so beware. Shoot early if you can, or spread the ball wide.

Alvaro Iniesta
I selected you over Pepito because I think we will need someone to track back more often. Pepito works better when he can stay between the lines, whereas you are a better ball-winner and can create from deeper. Most likely you will need to keep an eye on Maki. He is not someone to take lightly.

[Khytenna]

Khytenna win opening game by one goal

Khytenna : 1
Thorne 23rd

Schiavonia : 0

Khytenna win's its first game at home in the qualifers for the 57th world cup thanks to a 23rd minute goal by the captain Casey Thorne which was the only goal of the game, the Schiavonian defence did well to break down Khytenna's attack, and at moments in the game, Keeper Hay was thier to make some crucal saves

Entertaining? At times. Lots of goals? No. A win? yes, and that is all that will matter to the Khytenna fan's and backroom staff as they beat, somewhat unconvincingly, Schavonia 1-0 at Princes Park last night. the stage was set for another opening game to yet another session as the stadium was packed with Khytennians as they took on the nation of Schiavonia.

Khytenna started a dominate form as usual, but Schiavonia played a very defensive game, making sure that all play was cut done and stopped this was extremely effective in stopping Khyternna's attacking Flow (they even used the old offside trap once or twice) Khytenna's Firestone was the first to break free from the solid defence, making a shot at goal, which unfortunately went wide.

Khytenna's resored to making long shots at goal, most unsuccessful apart from Casey Thorne who in the 23rd minute broke the deadlock with a fantastic strike from the right side of the field, it looked to be going over the crossbar but it dipped down just enough to ricochet down violently from the crossbar to the back of the goal, a wonderful goal by the Captain that Put Khytenna in the lead.

on too occastions Schiavonia made a counter attack, with both times shots being saved by the Keeper Leo Hay, show showed his weight in gold. the first one came from an interception and run by a lone striker he made it up the pitch and shot the ball to the far left of the goal, finger tip save made sure Khytenna still had the lead. the other was when Schiavonia made it up the pitch a winger saw a chance to put the ball in the top corner of the goal, he shot, it looked to be going in but Hay managed to again again a hand on the ball to push it wide.

The game ended 1 nil, although Keeper Hay had to react fast in a couple of incidences of the game, Khytenna saw no real attack by Schiavonia who successfully sat it out in defence for the game, Khytenna will be looking to put more in goal against Thatius in our next game which is away, Thatius is low ranked but is very strong and should pose a challenge.

Khytenna make one change to the line up seeing young Hytan starting up front along side Firestone.


GK 13. Leo Hay ( 23 Portside fc)
RB 3. james Ursua (25 Blue bay)
LB 15.Oliver Testerman ( 24 Dunboor FC, Cafundeu)
DC 23. Brian Bowman (21 Blue bay)
DC 17. Nelson Bohannan(26 Alterdamm Merchants, Gray harbour)
RM 7. Casey Thorne (capt) (27 Central FC)(capt)
LM 16.Trever Evelyn (22 Keltyme Foresters)
CM 8. Kurk Rusek (25 King’s District Athletic)
CM 4. John Carmichael (21 Central FC)
FW 9. Fergal Firestone (21 blue bay)
FW 22. Ryan Hytan (20 SC Lake, Mossulia)


Thatius Vrs Khytenna will be live on RKTV1 and RKTV 1HD

[Mytannion]

OOC: Continued from here. This is a joint RP storyline with Civil Citizenry.

"Hey, Wycliff - look at page 37. I've just had a read through, sounds like us Mytanars had a horrible time back then eh? Have a read of it, it is pretty interesting. I haven't read the Citiz part of it yet though, could be worse - I dunno.." Musa said. He looked back down at the book, he'd been given it a couple of days ago - it was pretty interesting, but he hadn't felt like he had read as much since he was in secondary school.

---

--In the past...--

A young man walked into a dark room, there was a wooden desk in the centre of the small room and five wooden chairs around it - in fact, most of the room was made out of wood. The walls were wooden, made out of thick planks - the doors, made out of heavy wood, not to mention the countless other things that were made out of some clearly-wooden material. Another man sat there, he had a cup in his hands - made out of tin, as he put the cup down, it made a clattering sound.

As the younger man walked into the room, his footsteps made dull 'thunks' on the wooden floor. Thunk, thunk, thunk. The older man looked around, he had a beard and had big bags under his eyes - his tire was clearly very great. The older man smiled, and made a gesture towards the younger man to sit in one of the five seats around the table. The younger man obliged and sat in the one directly across from the older man.

"Hey Darko! When did you get back?" The younger man asked.

"I'm not sure.. It wasn't long ago though, I'm so tired. What we eating?" Darko - the older man - replied.

"I don't actually know.. Mum didn't tell me."

"Ah.. Do we even have food today?"

"Not sure. Well, since Pa.. Y'know, we've only had your wage coming in."

"Aye. The monarchy is fucked mate - there's no way of changing it either, sadly. They have all the power, and we work for them - basically. They earn their money off our backs.."

"Since when did you become so knowledgeable about the whole thing Darko?"

"Well, there's a guy down the docks - Luka is his name. He has been the one starting the protests all over Litala. He knows a lot about it. He's been talking about possibly taking one of the ships that comes into the docks from the river and sailing out of here.. Trying to find someplace new. Obviously, we'd have to leave Mytannion.. but, there are said to be islands to the east of here, we could easily go there.."

"Darko, shut up! That's the sort of talk that'll get you hanged for treason! What would we do then?!"

"Mirko.. You could work now if you wanted, if you weren't so intent on reading and brown-nosing the monarchy so much." Darko shot back.

"Darko, you know I don't do that - I'm just attempting to get a better job than the dock work that you do." Mirko muttered venomously.

"Oh come on Mirko, you know as well as I do that you'll never get anything better than factory work.. That's about the best you can hope for when you're like us..."

"Oh, whatever.."

"And that is why we need change Mirko, we need to get rid of the royals. Or they need to change, it needs to be one or the other. Sadly, the monarchs are quite intoxicated on power, they won't change for a long time - so it will have to be us getting rid of the royals.."

"Darko, you're mental."

"Well look at us. We've got nothing, we hardly get by, we can hardly afford food. We work amazingly hard every week and we get a fraction of what the King gets - and he does nothing. He sits there in his little cosy palace - and we work for him! Well, we're stupid for doing so.. Look at Dad, he's dead from doing dangerous work - he was down the mine and in collapsed on top of him, he's gone! And he had to work in that industry just because it earned him above average money! It needs to end Mirko."

"And it will, if we educate ourselves and show that we need to be listened to because we've become as intelligent as them, if not more so!" Mirko replied.

"You're a fool for thinking that then, if we do that - it'll never happen, we'll always be under them. Action needs to be taken - we need to cause a revolution or we need to go somewhere new. Take your pick mate, but we need to do something.." Darko said. He got up, left the tin cup where it was and walked out of the room.

---

"Wow, times were pretty hard for you lot eh?" Wycliff asked.

"Yup, says here that there were approximately 1,093 deaths in the mines during 1878 alone.." Musa stated.

"1896 Ebor were only founded what.. 18 years later. Wow. Times must have changed pretty quickly then.."

"Nah mate. Didn't change until the 1930's." Musa flicked a few pages through the book, then shut the book. "Hell, the poverty part still exists.." Musa muttered.

"How did a football club manage to flourish then?" Wycliff asked, wide-eyed.

"You don't seem to understand the Mytanar mentality mate.." Musa said. "In hard times, people look for something to hang on to - to hold close to their heart. Football was and still is massive. Players weren't paid or anything, that hasn't happened until very recently.. Legends were born, there was no Takillega or anything, it was all about the Trophie del Nakional back then - if you won that, you were huge. You know our hooliganism and fans problems these days...?" Musa asked.

"Yeah?"

"Well, they sprouted from discontent at the monarchy. Certain teams were backed by the royals, the ones who weren't - Atletik, 1896, Litala '93 etc, their fans were very violent against the ones who were backed. Of course, local rivalries have continued this - and now the fans still hate each other, it sort of, runs in the blood.." Musa explained.

"Ah."

"Indeed, it's the whole reason why it exists today.. Basically. Well, there's a combination of things really - but this remains one of the main ones to be honest.."

"Oh right... Well, you're currency is still in the gutter. So the poverty part must be pretty true..." Wycliff laughed.

"Yeah, you've used that exact same statement twice now - it's getting old.." Musa retorted with a chuckle. "Aye, and don't I know it." He added.

"Know what? Don't you know what?"

"Oh, it doesn't matter aha."

"No, come on.. Tell me!"

"Look. Forget I said anything, okay?" Musa was suddenly quiet. He jumped off his bed and walked out the door, slamming it behind him.

[Sargossa]

The Island Chronicle


Kytlerians Are A Pain In The Peninsulae


On paper it was a dream start, a home fixture against a nation ranked in the 200s, but as a Yorkshire man once said paper teams win paper cups. No, we don't know either, but what we do know is that in front of a packed and vocal crowd at Soluca's ediraf Arena Francisco Martinez's men were humbled by the well drilled visitors to the Sargossan capital. The visiting press described it as a war and it was very much a conflict in which their compatriots showed real stomach as the Sargossan attack found no way through a rock solid rear guard. Of course they weren't much helped by the absence of star striker Celso Esquivel who was still on the injury list after being on the receiving end of a nasty challenge in the friendly against Seunem, a challenge courtesy of the Peninsulae born Tuu Dufu. Héctor Riera stepped into the breach but was kept quiet by the impressive Shaun Duggan. As frustrations mounted and the Corsairs got reckless it was the Kytlerians who nearly ended the opening half with a the lead, Leiva at full stretch to turn over a looped header from lone striker Upson.

The second half continued in much the same vein as the first with chances few and far between. Riera saw a soft effort comfortably smothered by Kris Joyce in the visitors goal while Montiel struck a twenty yard freekick harmlessly over the bar. An hour gone it was deadlock broken as Aguilar was penalised for soft shirt pull on Upson and, to a chorus of boos and whistles, man-of-the-match Duggan belted the resultant penalty right down the middle. Martinez rang the changes instantly with Bonilla replacing Siqueira and Marcano thrown on up front, replacing the still fuming Javi Aguilar. Forward came the Corsairs but still the visitors, expertly marshalled by Duggan, stood firm. But with injury time on the clock Alejandro Echevarría found some rare space on the left and swung in a pin point cross. For once the Kytlerian defence were caught out as substitute Ivan Marcano drifted in unmarked to meet the ball with a free header. The Corsairs' bench rose as one to celebrate a certain goal then fell back in various states of frustration as the ball clipped the post and went wide.

As starts go this one wasn't great, made even worse by poor form in the preparation games. A deeply unimpressive win over Seunem, a turgid goalless draw with Nieuwe Sleeswijk and a galling defeat, from which we clearly learnt nothing, in The Kytler Peninsulae was not the momentum the Football Federation had hoped for and now this opening defeat has ratcheted up the pressure tenfold. Fortunately there's never too long to dwell on these things as we're all off to Maturín for a hopefully much improved performance against Carpathia and Ruthenia. The other opening group games went entirely as planned with both Valladares and Chetkosk registering comfortable home wins over minnows Di Lianzio and Eggy216 respectively. While Carpathia and Ruthenia edged past Braxil in the late kickoff.


Schedule
FR: Sargossa 1 - 0 Seunem (El Torrigal, Torreón)
FR: Sargossa 0 - 0 Nieuwe Sleeswijk (Bonilla Arena, Jucaro)
FR: Sargossa 2 - 3 The Kytler Peninsulae (The Kytler Peninsulae)
MD1: Sargossa 0 - 1 The Kytler Peninsulae (ediraf Arena, Soluca)
MD2: Sargossa v Carpathia and Ruthenia (Ciudad Deportiva, Maturín)
MD3: Valladares v Sargossa (Valladares)
MD4: Sargossa v Di Lianzio (Estadio Bolero, Daroca)
MD5: Braxil v Sargossa (Braxil)
MD6: Sargossa v Qazox (ediraf Arena, Soluca)
MD7: Sargossa v Chetkosk (Independiente, Goza)
MD8: Bye
MD9: Sargossa v Eggy216 (Estadio José Romero, Durgos)
FR: West Zirconia v Sargossa (West Zirconia)
MD10: The Kytler Peninsulae v Sargossa (The Kytler Peninsulae)
MD11: Carpathia and Ruthenia v Sargossa (Carpathia and Ruthenia)
MD12: Sargossa v Valladares (ediraf Arena, Soluca)
MD13: Di Lianzio v Sargossa (Di Lianzio)
MD14: Sargossa v Braxil (Estadio Del Mar, Cordova)
MD15: Qazox v Sargossa (Qazox)
MD16: Chetkosk v Sargossa (Chetkosk)
MD17: Bye
MD18: Eggy216 v Sargossa (Eggy216)
FR: Palacios & Rodellega v Sargossa (Palacios & Rodellega)

[Western cuba]

Pablo and Pablo

Pablo M
Pablo R

" Well that was a very entertaining game to watch. Down to the last minute, however though it would of been even better if we came down with the win, but it's better than a lose I suppose. "

" Ah it was a very good game, where you at it? "

" Sadly no, but I heard the attendance was great. Sold out! Weren't you at it? "

" Me of course! You know I don't miss anything like that, it was probably one of the greatest experiences of my life, I didn't know Western Cuban fans could be so hardcore. Especially in football. "

" That was a surprise to me too, however though let's get onto the game. What did you think of our team during the game? "

" Well I'll start off with the bad things, we did play a little shaky for the first half and part of the second half. Our defense was off, and we didn't create much of an offense. Props to Hector Diaz though, he played outstanding throughout the game. He had great form, and made some crucial saves throughout the game, the one goal that slipped no doubt wasn't his fault, and he keep cool when Fullback Gustavo Guzman created a PK by tripping a Miley World player. The shot would end up high above the crossbar. '

" Besides Diaz what else did the National Team do good in? "

" Well when Miley World player Conor Downing scored the first goal of the game the whole team stepped up and started to look like a team. We formed a solid defensive area, and reduced the number of shots Miley World put on us at the end, and increased our shouts on offense allowing Edgardo Mendoza to score on a beautiful cross from Emilio Martinez. "

" Alright that's a wrap for our game coverage, before you though here's the standings of the Group Stage so far, we'll be back after this commercial break in which we discuss the pre-game for Western Cuba's first game in the Round of 16 for WBC 20, and remember Western Cuba faces Octinstine tomorrow at Havana National Stadium.

Team                          P W D L For Ag +/- Pts
 1 Octinstine                 1 1 0 0  2  0  +2  3
 2 Pretty Awesome Persons     1 1 0 0  1  0  +1  3
 3 Silver Beach               1 1 0 0  2  1  +1  3
 4 Western cuba               1 0 1 0  1  1  +0  1
 5 Miley World                1 0 1 0  1  1  +0  1
 6 Valanora                   0 0 0 0  0  0  +0  0
 7 The Vuhifellian States     1 0 0 1  1  2  -1  0
 8 Pernam                     1 0 0 1  0  1  -1  0
 9 The Peterwood Estate       1 0 0 1  0  2  -2  0

[Cotdelapoms]

News Round-Up

Tiger Eaters Lose at Sport That Takes Less Than 5 Days

In a shock Group 9 result, Welebecer- our next opponent, earned a win over the Tiger Eaters of Akbarabad. As expected, the Akbarabad press and supporters blamed the result on a refereeing bias, but can you imagine the referees showing a bias *toward* Welebecer? Certainly this bias would have to have been overwhelming in order to let one of the top 50 teams in the world lose to a nation nobody had ever heard of before about a month ago.

Ultimately, we cannot look past any opponent, but the famous hubris of the Akbarabadis might make Group 9's biggest challenge actually that of Southern Cynocephali or the defence-first Bleak Rock, whose people have been making waves in Cotdelapomais sport in the last year or so. We apparently can definitely not look past Welebecer, whose batch of nameless, faceless, wonders ran roughshod over Akbarabad. Or perhaps they bought the referees, in which case we need to be vigilant in keeping track of their business dealings. Or at least keep our tongues firmly in cheek...

Protests and Football

I'm sure we've all heard at this point about the people who are angry about the treatment of indigenous peoples in the old Sirain area that Cotdelapoms has recently acquired, often noting about how much better they are treated in Virabia. At the World Cuppet, these protestors showed up at every one of the Aboriginal Cotdelapomais' team's matches, which generally went poorly in multiple regards. However, the group- referring to themselves as Tr'Izx'tyk'la, plan to appear at Cotdelapoms' match with Zhevalsso-zhevalsso in Hamilton, which of course has a strong native history. Tr'Izx'tyk'la, an aboriginal word for "justice", is hoping to spread information about our government's treating of the aboriginal people and the environment in that area. Why they would choose to do this whilst people are at their most jingoistic, nobody knows, but good luck to them!

The Ref Should Get His Eyes Checked!

Here's a preposterous but true story- Cotdelapomais referee Jari Tollberg lost the use of his left eye in a violent car crash. Hold your jokes, please. However, thanks to the people at the Martin C. Martin Hospital in Albionpool Mr. Tollberg is now equipped with "eye-borg" technology- that is that he has a camera where his eye used to be. Although Mr. Tollberg has no interest in returning to refereeing any time soon, can you imagine that? A ref running around the pitch with his view projected up on the large screens at most stadia these days? We'd all know what the referee saw as well as he would. Whether this would create more scrutiny or less scrutiny, I'm not sure, but it'd make for an interesting broadcast.

Watson For Cotdelapoms?

At this point in time every single person in the whole city of Montréal has officially come out and said that they want Zlatko Zedafski to manage the club- it seems as though the fans are getting restless with being in 6th place halfway through the season after winning everything in every sport imaginable for a year. We at this blog enjoy watching Tricolore fans get bent out of shape, so we wonder if the loss as a result of their fickle whims could become a huge gain for football in Cotdelapoms- namely, what if Guillaume Watson oversaw Fédéfoot?

Everyone seems to agree Michel Carbonnier is doing an excellent job as manager. He has the team enthusiastic and revitalised, he's done a good job of involving the older players and the newer players, as well as giving everyone a shot. He is tactically adequate and a great communicator and teacher. However, our national academy system could use some help. For one, we routinely neglect to even sign up for the di Bradini Cup. Cotdelapoms produces lots of great young talent, but much of it is coming from the Tricolore system (begrudgingly), which we've always heard Watson has had a strong role in. When you look at teams like Pasarga and (again, begrudgingly) Mytannion, who do very well with average ages of about 5 or 6, you wonder why our academy system isn't stronger- it can't just be that all the kids are playing hockey.

Diawara! Diawara! Diawara!

Jackson Diawara won the KPFA Golden Boot award this year, an impressive result for a generally impressive player. His absurdist dribbling makes him a force to be dealt with for the highly popular FKM, who somehow managed to win one of the world's best leagues despite the helmsmanship of Sacha Chrétien. Who knew? How Diawara managed to score approximately 5 million goals with that defensive oriented pomhomme in charge, nobody knows, but I guess that shows how good he is. Once Per-Olivier Johansson-Bakvis finally retires to his apiary in crazytown the task of scoring goals will almost certainly fall entirely to the deft feet of Jackson Diawara.

[The Kiaser Colonies]

Zoobians. Population: 459 million. A team new to the world cup stage. Negative Factors: Inexperienced at this level of play, underdeveloped players. Positive Factors: Relatively unknown surprise factor. The score of 3-0 to us rather flatters the opponents. Thrice Chris Hudson could have added to the lead if, once, not for a professional foul and hitting the cross bar and having the ball cleared off the line. Conner Tobin also managed a good effort that hit the woodwork and Adam Jones being called offside (later replays showed he was onside). The goals instead went to Tobin, Jackson and substitute Brian May. Zoobians came out optimistic and beaming with hope. 3 minutes in the fans were excitedly jumping as they made a counter attack down the wing. 1 tackle by Muku Jahai later and The Kiaser Colonies were on the attack with no Zoobians defence. Jahai and Tobin went 2-on-1 with the keeper. Jahai drew the keeper and passed to supporting Tobin who easily slotted in an open goal.

Zoobians fans: silent
Time of goal: 00:03:44

Zoobians kick off and try a run through the centre of the field. An early pass intercepted by Jackson, runs pitch and cooly beats Zoobians keeper.

Zoobians fans: embarrassed.
Time of goal: 00:04:09

For the rest of the half Zoobians were nice and docile with no darting runs. Result: No goals conceded, no goals scored. Half time called.

Possesion (zoobians - TKC): 49% - 51%.
Shots on target (Zoobians - TKC): 0 - 9.
Score (Zoobians - TKC): 0-2.

Second half begins. Zoobians shooting from long range. No accuracy, no shots on target. 13 minutes into second half and Zoobians get caught in a counter attack. Conceding a corner to avoid a goal they turn their backs and take a shot break. Jackson takes the corner quickly and May easily volleys home for a goal.

Zoobians fans: leaving.
Time of goal: 00: 59:01

After this goal nothing of interest happens except previously mentioned goal misfortune. Full time whistle is blown.

Zoobians fans: None
Score (Zoobians - TKC): 0-3
Shots on target (Zoobians - TKC): 1 - 17
Possesion (zoobians - TKC): 34% - 66%
Results: Zoobians confidence -20%, TKC Confidence +10%, Zoobians last in group, TKC 1st in group.

Krytenia had a bye today and so didn't have the chance to beat a team 6-0 meaning we get the confidence boost of being 1st in the group for at least 1 round. No team has yet been announced for our next match against Brendino the 3rd but not too many changes are expected.

[Ocel0t]

Enevoldsen Dies, Claims He's Fine

The crowd was silenced in the Estadio Nacional in the fifteenth minute, as Ocel0t midfielder Jorgen Enevoldsen collapsed while in possession of the ball against Yiland in Ocel0t's World Cup Qualifying opener. While he remained motionless for almost a minute, the other players on the pitch obviously didn't care, gingerly stepping around the body as play resumed. Officials were rather slow on the pickup, but alas, the whistle blew, and the medics rushed onto the field. Infamous commentator Jordi Gallaga picked just the right time as always for one of his famous remarks, "And down goes Enevoldsen, he seems to be dead. And what are they saying...ooh, that looks serious. He's not moving. He is dead. Just in time for the Sangre Promesa Festival, as well, haha! A bit of an extremist, wouldn't you say so? Haha!"

Mr. Gallaga mysteriously went off duty for the rest of the match, to be replaced by someone else. Against all odds and expectations, Enevoldsen burst back to life with a jolt after a few electric charges and being dead for about two minutes. There was much relief among the players and staff of the Ocel0t team, while the audience still hadn't quite caught on about why play had stopped. Apparently upon resurrection he had no idea what had just happened, and urged for play to resume, claiming he "felt great, just itching to play." Well, coach Heikkinen apparently didn't think it would be good for him to play, and so he was replaced by Ebondo. Enevoldsen protested but eventually left the field with a bow, and thunderous applause.

---

Ocel0t 4-1 Yiland
Scorers:

Fico 10'
Boateng 41'
Bilaydinetov 59'
Unknown 60'
Touré 88'

[Swartaz]

Well, we cant really ask for a much better start than that. Three goals, three points, and an early lead in group seventeen, coupled with a solid performance (bearing in mind we were playing the bottom seed in our group). Leading the group after matchday one can be a blessing on one hand, but on another hand, the pressure of needing to continue scoring good results can sometimes provide too much for some teams, and they can start to fall apart relatively quickly. That being said, I think we have the resolve in this squad to see that the scenario stated there will not happen to us.

Onto the game, the main good point was the way we moved the ball along the ground, how we used our ball possession to full advantage, and how we dictated the tempo of the game brilliantly, leaving the Arsenolian defense stranded at several points. Wilhelm Berghoff, the Polar Islandstates based striker, continued his fine vein of form in the international goalscoring stakes with two superb strikes in five minutes approaching half time, after Dasra had hit the post on no less than three occasions, which was obviously frustrating for Olec, as he was looking great on the ball. But his luck turned in the second half, when he curled a beauty into the top right corner after a delightful one-two with Marko Krivac unlocked the Arsenolian defence. He then limped off holding his thigh several minutes later, with an injury which hopefully turns out to be minor.

However, the most impressive thing about the performance was the fluidity in the change from defence to attack, helping us to counter right towards the Arsenolian goal. If we can just start to hit a few more on target shots towards goal, we can start to earn bigger wins against the 'lesser' teams, and compete more actively with the better teams. The fact we only won 3-0, in my opinion, does not reflect the balance of the game at all, and it was a golden opportunity to rack up a hefty goal difference early, the kind of chance we have to work harder to try and execute.

Next up, we are on the road for the first time, heading off to Camwood to try and secure another solid three points to give us a good foundation in this group table. With Dasra looking more and more likely to be ruled out of the game due to injury, I believe either Konstantin Brita or Benidikt Klum will slot in up front next to Wilhelm Berghoff, in what will hopefully be a smooth process. In any case, we should be looking for a good win out there, and I believe we can easily get one.

World Cup 57 Schedule:

PRE:Civil Citizenry 3-1 Swartaz

MD1: Swartaz 3-0 Arsenolia
MD2: Camwood vs Swartaz
MD3: Swartaz vs Bettia
MD4: Taeshan vs Swartaz
MD5: BYE
MD6: Swartaz vs Hippostania
MD7: Nicole Scherzinger vs Swartaz
MD8: Swartaz vs Darmen
MD9: Cassadaigua vs Swartaz
MD10: Arsenolia vs Swartaz
MD11: Swartaz vs Camwood
MD12: Bettia vs Swartaz
MD13: Swartaz vs Taeshan
MD15: BYE
MD16: Hippostania vs Swartaz
MD17: Swartaz vs Nicole Scherzinger
MD18: Darmen vs Swartaz
MD19: Swartaz vs Cassadaigua

[Polar Islandstates]

"Half-dead?!"

"It would appear so."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Well, death is a complicated thing Mr Yarbin. You don't 'just die'. You have to be killed, and there's one office for that, and then you have to have your soul processed and filed properly, and there's another office for that. And, well, someone in the death office has messed up, we weren't expecting you this early."

"Filed?"

"Yes, filed. Well. We make the files nice and big and there's plenty of nice stuff, but essentially that's what the afterlife is. A giant filing cabinet."

"And so who are you, the secretary?"

"Me? Oh heavens no Mr Yarbin, I'm just the tea boy. In there is where all the big decisions are made." said the winger figure talking to Morten Yarbin, nodding towards a big door marked 'Executive Games Room'.

"In the games room?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, they call it the games room but its not really for games, it's for things like. Well, life."

"Life?"

"Yeah, you know, decisions and stuff."

"I'm not following."

"Well, for the most part, the gods are willing to let the world just run on autopilot. But they have to do something in there. So what they do is, they all gather round and play a game. With dice and a board and stuff like that. Only, the dice have things like decisions on them, and they control the world."

"They control the world? So, all those times I've been praying, all those times I've needed help, it's all just been a game to these guys?"

"Well, not all the time no. Chances are good that you've spent your whole life on the autopilot so far. No, they only take control of one thing at a time. Usually sporting matches cos they provide the most entertainment for as many of them as possible at once."

"So, how many of these gods are there exactly?"

"Oh, thousands. Not all of them are executives though. I mean, I'm a god."

"You? The tea boy?"

"Yes. Me. I'm Jenkins. The god of tea-boys."

"What."

"You know how it is, walking down the street on my second day of work experience, get knocked over by a tram, get here to the afterlife and they say they need a tea-boy. So, because I've had first hand experience at both being a tea-boy and how tea-boys need someone looking out for them, so I got the job. Bang, I'm a god."

"As simple as that."

"Yeah, well, there was a bit of form filling out and that, but yeah. It's hard work though. Only the executives have any real say around here."

"So, who do I see about sorting out this half-death thing?"

"Well, the death office I suppose, but because you're here, you can't leave here until your life status has been restored to living."

"I can't leave? Aren't I a ghost or something Jenkins? Can't I go and haunt the team so I can at least see how they're doing?"

"Oh no no no, you're not a ghost, see? You're an anti-ghost. A ghost is when the death people get it right and we make the mistake and aren't ready to put you in the filing system yet. You're the opposite. Your coma'd body is probably down there right now, a swarm of deaths around it hacking and chopping with their scythes wondering why they're not having any effect. It's because they've read their charts wrong and you're not meant to be dead yet. So I need to sort it out really."

"You? I thought you were the tea-boy here."

"Yeah but, we're all dead. Nobody drinks tea."

"Ah, right."

"Yeah, so I've got plenty of time to go and get it sorted out."

"And what am I meant to do in the meantime exactly? I can't get filed, and I can't get back, so..."

"Good point. Actually, I tell you what, I don't usually do this, but as you're in a bit of a situation..." trailed off Jenkins, leading Morten towards the executive door, upon which he exerted three clear knocks. The door squeaked a little as it opened.

"...get the god of caretakers to sort that door out." a large, buxom ghost stood at the door, faintly see through, and not quite touching the ground. "Hello, Jenkins. How can I help?"

"Ah, hi, listen, I've got Morten Yarbin here. And, well, there's been a bit of a mixup and I need to go to the death office to get it sorted out. Could you look after him in the meantime? He can't go forwards, he can't go back, and i's not his fault really, so..."

"Ah yes, of course. Hello, Mr Yarbin. My name is Jemima, and I'm the god of lost change. Do come in."

"Thank you, Jenkins." said Morten. I'll see you when I see you, I suppose.

"No problem, Mr Yarbin," said Jenkins as he floated away, "I'll be right back!"

"Will he?" asked Morten.

"Well. No. It'll take him a couple of months to get to the death office and back, those guys are notoriously difficult. We had to kick them out of our office simply because they were so awkward to work with. Not that chatty as a group, you know. Of course, that has led to the odd procedural error like this, but there you go. The price of a quiet life. Er, or death."

"A couple of months?!"

"Oh, don't worry about that. We've got this wonderful thing up here called fluid time. Things only take as long as you hope they will in your head, so, you know that match you were working towards before your heart attack?"

"The match? The first qualifying match? Against The Weegies?"

"That's the one. Well, we're playing that out right now."

"But, I've only just had my heart attack? The match against Astograth shouldn't have even finished yet! And we've got a match against Chetkosk to get past first as well!"

"Fluid time, Mr Yarbin, fluid time. Anyway, it's 3-1 to your lot, and Old Speccy, the god of bad referees, has just won you a penalty in the 85th minute, perhaps you'd like to roll the dice?"

"Erm, okay then..." said Morten Yarbin nervously, following Jemima through the door, which closed with a squeak behind them.

Moments later, an old man with dungarees and a moustache shuffled up the door pushing a trolley of caretaking equipment. Muttering slightly about an eternity of menial tasks, he got a screwdriver and can of oil out, and got to work on the door.

[Octinstine]

Octinstine go to the top of group 19 after a routine win over The Peterwood Estate. Two second half goals from captain Callaghan and
center half Dawson were enough to see of the rather average opponents ranked nearly 200 places below the Octinstine.

The first goal was a simple tap in by Callaghan after the opposition failed to deal with a cross while the second was a routine header from a corner from the big defender Dawson. The opponents were spirited and gave a good fight in the first half but superior conditioning and a stretching of the game allowed Octinstine to dominate the second.

Next up a trip to Western Cuba

[Bleak Rock]

Edorta Urrustoy and Shaan Magerin were on the training pitch at the stadium, still kicking the ball around long after the team had been sent home.

"1-0. I'm pretty happy with that, Shaan?"

"Aye, aye. A clean sheet, I'm always happy with a clean sheet."

"And Rosenmeyer's goal?"

"Solid and reliable, as ever. who does he play for, normally?"

"Resolute Storm."

Shaan looked back at Urrustoy blankly.

"Resolute Storm 1913 FC? In the Polarian league system?"

"Oh. Polarian. I don't pay any attention to that league."

"Really? How come? This is Bleak Rock, Shaan, pretty much everyone is half Polarian or has family in the Federation or has a Polarian team or something like that. The place is practically still under the control of their government!"

"Eh. Whatever. My job is to manage Bleak Rock. How am I supposed to do that if I'm going to spend all my time watching all the leagues for all my players?"

Urrustoy trapped the ball under his foot and stood, shocked. "You mean, you've never watched any of your players in the league?"

"Well, not the ones playing abroad. I watch games in the Bleak Rock league just for something to do."

"Why?"

"I don't need to. I see them in training. Pass me the ball."

"So you haven't seen any footage of Rosenmeyer at all? Or Mackenzie? Or Sigurhelgason? Or Eygenroy? The captain, Eygenroy, you've never seen him play other than in a Bleak Rock shirt?"

"No, why aren''t you passing me the ball?"

"But, he's the captain!"

"I'm not arsed, Edorta. Listen, Players will play differently for whoever they're playing with. Does Eygenroy play the exact same role he plays here week in week out for Jan Mayen? I doubt it. Even if his position is similar, the formation around him is almost guaranteed to be different. He's defensive here, but one of the first lines of attack, I bet he hangs back more for Jan Mayen. Unless what they're doing is exactly the same thing, and I mean exactly, then why should I bother? 'Oh, Dietar plays well as the anchor man. That's useful for his central midfield role with us.' No. I don't need it. It's just unnecessary information. Now. Will you please, pass me the bloody ball!"

"Ha, okay, whatever man. As long as it keeps working out like this..."

[Socialist States Owen]

THE EMPLOR ON SUNDAY

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90 minutes, one goal and FSSO are off to a good start
WC57 Qualifying Group 13 Match Day 1
Bastion Arena, FSSO – 90,213 attendance

FSSO – 1
Sharp 80
Puttania – 0

They left it a bit late, but the FSSO thankfully started their World Cup 57 qualification campaign with a win against minnows Puttania.

The stadium was roaring with atmosphere, mostly coming from the FSSO fans, while a small Puttanian contingent of 5,000 fans excitedly clapped along in the corner. But the Puttania side almost looked a bit out of their depth going into their first World Cup campaign. They had the accursed luck of going into an away game on the first match day, a problem which has hampered the FSSO in their previous three attempts (that and the bad luck of constantly being drawn in Groups of Death.)

But the Puttanians came out in good spirit, and played well for the first ten minutes, getting a fair share of the ball and testing Daniel Belgrave with the first shot of the game, a rasping shot from their right midfielder. But they tired quickly against a much improved FSSO side, who have finally got used to the fitness regimen a world cup team requires. This became blatant when Kieran Kane broke away with ease in the midfield, and wasn’t challenged until on the edge of the six yard box, eleven minutes in.

Puttania at this point began to look amateur, and the FSSO seemed reluctant to risk powering forward but did control possession. Finally they took some chances, breaking clear from a poor Puttania corner to give Lee Sharp a shot at goal, only for him to slice it wide. The usually clinical striker was back to his best shortly before half time through, hitting the bar with a superb left footed volley from the edge of the box.

Early in the second half the pressure grew, and it quickly became apparent that the FSSO were on the verge of taking the lead. Yet the goal wouldn’t come, leading to increasing frustration amongst the players and coaching staff. This was multiplied when a ferocious Steve Thompson shot blew back the net – the goal had been disallowed, leading to a furious reaction from manager Ben Randall towards the linesman as he passed.

But finally the much deserved goal came via what the FSSO really needed; a bit of luck. Lee Sharp found himself with the ball on the edge of the box with ten minutes to go, however he took too long on the ball and was tackled by a Puttania defender. However the ball rebounded off of James McCroft who was stood on the other side, inadvertently leaving Sharp with a clear shot at goal. Sharp curled it skilfully around the keeper, wheeling away in celebration as the ball rebounded in off the post.

This was certainly a great victory for the FSSO, who have always seemed to be held down by their poor starts to qualifying campaigns. May the good form continue in their next fixture, away at Wolfmanne, who are slightly more experienced than Puttania with one world cup qualification campaign already behind them.

Man of the Match: Lee Sharp

Player Ratings

GK – 1. Daniel Belgrave – 6/10
RWB – 2. Dennis Arnold – 7/10
RCB – 5. Mike Humphrey – 8/10
LCB – 4. Julesk Paranaya – 7/10
LWB – 3. Joe Arne Pizza – 6/10
RAM – 7. James McCroft – 8/10
CDM – 6. Steve Thompson – 8/10
CAM – 8. Carlos Aduna – 7/10
LAM – 11. Josh Stevenson – 6/10
RS – 10. Lee Sharp – 9/10
LS – 9. Sam Needle – 6/10

Used substitutes

Other results in Group 13

Polar Islandstates 4-1 The Weegies
Sarrbia 1-0 BrightonBurg
Wolfmanne 1-0 Lymantatia

Group 13 Table

Group 13 Standings

   Team                   P W D L For Ag +/- Pts
 1 Polar Islandstates     1 1 0 0  4  1  +3  3
 2 Sarrbia                1 1 0 0  1  0  +1  3
 3 FSSO                   1 1 0 0  1  0  +1  3
 4 Wolfmanne              1 1 0 0  1  0  +1  3
 5 The Archregimancy      0 0 0 0  0  0  +0  0
 6 Lymantatia             1 0 0 1  0  1  -1  0
 7 Puttania               1 0 0 1  0  1  -1  0
 8 BrightonBurg           1 0 0 1  0  1  -1  0
 9 The Weegies            1 0 0 1  1  4  -3  0

FSSO Scorers

Lee Sharp – 1

Qualifying Fixtures

Friendly MD1 – H – Kiaser Colonies - Won 2-0
MD2 – H – Thatius - Won 4-3
MD3 – A – Megadia

Competitive MD1 – H – Puttania - Won 1-0
MD2 – A – Wolfmanne
MD3 – A – Sarrbia
MD4 – Bye
MD5 – A – BrightonBurg
MD6 – H – Lymantatia
MD7 – A – The Archregimancy
MD8 – A – Polar Islandstates
MD9 – H – The Weegies

Friendly MD4 – A – Krumbia
MD5 – TBD
MD6 – H – Rhodesiah

Competitive MD10 – A – Puttania
MD11 – H – Wolfmanne
MD12 – H – Sarrbia
MD13 – Bye
MD14 – H – BrightonBurg
MD15 – A – Lymantatia
MD16 – H – The Archregimancy
MD17 – H – Polar Islandstates
MD18 – A – The Weegies

Friendly MD7 – H – Saugeais
MD8 – A – Eastfield Lodge
MD9 – H – Darmen

[The Weegies]

It was now or never for Malcolm McCallum, bearing down upon the New Montreal States' goal like a runaway locomotive. He'd waited for a chance to represent his country, and now he was going to make his family, his countrymen and women proud. He kicked hard, the ball curling beautifully. The goalie was nowhere near it, he was just a//

The darkness continued.

"Iwe have been developing some interesting tricks over the past few hundred years, you see." said the voice like iron.

The other gods looked bored, as if they had heard something similar before. The voice, sounding as if it was used to talking when no-one was listening, continued on regardless.

"All this time we've been trying to escape our ever-shrinking domain, breaking the barriers down, as it were. That was stupid. Very stupid. Where was there to go, after all? We thought we could break in from one universe to another. Then Rialaudh and his little band did manage to break through, and found nothing, except the darkness that flooded in..."

"Ate the Endless Sun, and a few unlucky types. Those who couldn't hide." said a sharp voice, which made one think of knives and midnight stabbings.

"Quite, Cibharioc. Our realm was much denuded at that point, although some would say the loss of Rialaudh et alia was a blessing, since he was a fool. But the point remains. We cannot break out. The darkness that surrounds us does not like the matter from which we are made, and allowing it into our world would be foolhardy at best, and suicidal at worst."

"So we are stuck here, then." said Rallox.

"Quite possibly! But Iwe have come to the conclusion that that is not as bad as we would otherwise think."

"Why is that?" said one of the minor demigods, a hearth-wanderer named Finledh Fasdh-lach.

"We can, if we try hard enough, to effect the other universes, the other realms of matter, specifically those realms we once had dominance over. Possibly only slightly, an event or two here and there, but Iwe am sure you all know some small things can have big consequences. As yet my attempts to nudge the society of our erstwhile subjects have been crude and ambivalent, but hopefully, with help from my fellow deities, we can steer the Isles to provide us with a powerbase of support. And from there, we might see our realm grow and flourish!"

"And if it does not?" said Beghinoc.

"Then Iwe have been working on ways to acquire more matter by less straightforward means, from other realities... but Iwe see some of you are still unconvinced. Watch as Iwe work wonders with the smallest and most subtle of material..."

//nother day of drudgery at the workshop ended, thank God, Malcolm thought, as he slouched through one of the back alleys in Buchanan. Always good on the way home, though, as he had to go through a Rigan neighborhood. Shouts of abuse. Sly little digs. Although the worst were the ones who thought they were helping, being all compassionate to the noble savage. Treated you like a child, they did. As if you couldn't speak for yourself. And when you did... oh, they didn't like that. The '94 Rebellion was proof of that.

He was only a child at the time, of course, about 6 or so, when Lyle Square was occupied by opponents of the Regime, as it was known in common parlance. But his dad had told him all about it, as a former member of the DSP, one of the underground socialist parties heavily involved in the attempt. It had been planned for months; liberals and communists, socialists and democrats, Weegies and Rigans, all working together to bring down the Regime and install some kind of Republic in which all were equal. There was much arguing as to what that meant, of course, but they knew it was nothing like what the bastards in charge ran.

But it had been thoroughly infiltrated by the IIIS, the Inter-Island Intelligence Service, the arm of the state officially denied but whose presence was all too heavily felt by Weegies and opponents of the Regime. Agents had thoroughly riddled most of the underground organisations, and it was suspected they had had help, by those who were wavering ideologically or had been simply bought. Most cadres and cells were arrested and broken up the morning the rising was meant to happen, except in Mackintosh. The Lyle Square rising was allowed to happen, so Regime justice could crack down in public, and deliver a message to the shattered remnants of the underground; Don't Try It Again. Look at your leaders, bloodied and betrayed. Look at a generation of idealists, destroyed. It would take a generation to rebuild, at least, said his dad, right up until he'd been arrested a couple of years ago in Hanover, under a false identity, so thankfully Malcolm wasn't under scrutiny. He hadn't heard from him since; not that he had expected to.

He lifted his head up briefly as he heard a groan rise up from a Rigans-only pub. Silly to leave your head up for too long, they'd think you were looking at them funny and deal out some street justice to the stupid clanman, but it wouldn't hurt to take a quick peek. Oh, they'd lost again, big this time. He smiled, thinly. It was the third time they'd lost, although this time it was in World Cup qualification proper, against some freezing cold nation Malcolm had never heard of. Guess the Regime had acclimatised a bit too well to the Weegie heat, eh?

The Rigans-only national side didn't get much practise due to the widespread boycott of their sporting teams in a number of events by left-leaning countries, including, up till now, the World Cup; the official newspapers said it was due to the recognition of the international community of the rightness of the Regime's cause, utter rubbish, of course. There were plenty of rumours in the Weegie community, though: mostly that the WCC had been bought off, or that they just didn't care. Either sounded plausible to Malcolm, as he walked swiftly through the night.

[Kulverint]

A Kulverintian Taste On The Football

Well, guess who's back?

Yes, after a horrific campaign in WC56 ended before it had even begun, with the sole consolation being 2 wins over Swartaz and beating them in the final standings, combined with the rise and continual rise of our Rugby Union stars, you could forgive our Football league for being overlooked a little, as well as our national squad. Indeed, the last time these boys played together was that horrible day when we did everything we needed to and so nearly defied the odds to qualify for the World Cup, only to miss out, ironically, because Swartaz didn't do well enough. The only time we want them to do well, they don't. Typical.

But, on to World Cup 57! And, judging by today's performance against Soviet Canuckistan at the Stadia de la Fütböll, in Drachnamara (Rugby posts still not removed from Stadia de la Kulverint), we can see that the long period of being ignored by the media has, if anything, done our boys a world of good. A Janni Milverki hat trick (who said anything about "past it?") along with a brilliant finisher from Markus Winschöten, increasingly the rising star of the squad, showed that we had the capacity to compete once more, and that our attack was certainly in no bad shape. Indeed, the only issue we may see coming about is that our defence was rather porous, Farné Dré@na really beginning to struggle pace-wise against some of the younger strikers for opposition sides. If he can't improve his play, this may well be his last world cup, and it would be a sad end for the veteran of 8 World Cup campaigns for it to finish that way. Some reshuffling needs to be done.

A particular, key area in no trouble at all is the goalkeeping. Junao Minniana producing another fine performance to keep out almost every one of the numerous defence breaks. The only goal came when a cross from S. Ovietcanuckistanmidfielder3 went beautifully into S. Ovietcanuckistanstriker2, and when Junao saved this, he couldn't hold the ball, so it was a practically open goal for S. Ovietcanuckistanstriker1 to score into. No matter, there seemed to be no issues there.

Kulverint's next game is a trip to Wadomia, and the team will be hoping for a big win to put them top of a qualification group where 1st must be the aim.

---

Kulverint 4-1 Soviet Canuckistan

Kulverint: J. Milverki (21, 50, 72), M. Winschöten (85)
Soviet Canuckistan: S. Ovietcanuckistanstriker1 (43)

---

Kulverint 4-1 Soviet Canuckistan
Whirl Islands 2-0 Beldonia
Antoletia 4-0 Wadomia
Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuk 1-0 Free Swiss States

Group 18 Standings

   Team                       P W D L For Ag +/- Pts
 1 Antoletia                  1 1 0 0  4  0  +4  3
 2 Kulverint                  1 1 0 0  4  1  +3  3
 3 Whirl Islands              1 1 0 0  2  0  +2  3
 4 Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuk     1 1 0 0  1  0  +1  3
 5 Delaclava                  0 0 0 0  0  0  +0  0
 6 Free Swiss States          1 0 0 1  0  1  -1  0
 7 Beldonia                   1 0 0 1  0  2  -2  0
 8 Soviet Canuckistan         1 0 0 1  1  4  -3  0
 9 Wadomia                    1 0 0 1  0  4  -4  0