Your first love

[GreaterPacificNations]

I fell hard into infatuation with a girl when I was 16. Obviously that didn't end well. After that I was well known for getting carried away in romantic fancies of idealised love with each girlfriend- yet paradoxically would tire of it quickly and dump them. Probably some teenager defence mechanism or something.

The first time I'd say I properly fell in reciprocated love I was 19. She meant the world to me. We clutched each other, shut our eyes, and for a moment the entire world fell from beneath our feet and we existed amongst the starts. That moment ended 4 years later when we got divorced (Don't even ask how we got married).

The world was grey and lifeless, winter reigned, and I had all but resigned myself to a embittered cynical life, forsaken of love. After about 2 years, by hurt had numbed away into a kind of peaceful ache- and I had engaged the world again accepting of the premise enjoyment might still be had if love was a sham. Then I fell in love. Laugh if you will. 2 weeks later we were practically living together. 2 months later we had sold everything we owned and purchased 1 way tickets to europe. 1 year later we had lived in Rome, the hills of Lazio, Lancashire, Manchester, and Amsterdam.

Life is love and love is grand.

[Dakini]

Yeah, that's the life of a 15 year old.

Seriously though, don't worry about it. You have your whole life to date and have fun. Just relax and do your own thing because you enjoy it. Spend your teenage years trying new things and developing into an interesting adult.

Also, nothing turns people off like desperation. So just go about your life, hang out with your friends, do activities you enjoy. If they're social activities you might meet someone interesting who you hit it off with, but if your goal is primarily to have fun and enjoy yourself (or learn something new) then it won't matter if you do meet someone special or not.

Well, I'm more almost 14. In about a month I'll be 14. But true. Already tried dating once. Didn't work out so well. Turns out she lied about liking me, made up something to break up, then changed her phone number and stopped talking to me. Then went out with her friend, who happened to be in a class me and her had together.

Anyways, I'm guessing you've passed through such stage?

Yes. I didn't have my first date until I was 17, almost 18.

I think I've learned that the boys I had unfulfilled crushes on when I was in high school (either because I acted on the crushes or not) are generally losers now. Well, some of them were losers then, but I didn't notice because I was being stupid and like "omg, he's so cute, I want him to go to the dance with me, lalalala". This is also mostly similar with the guys I've broken up with since the horribly awkward stage known as adolescence.

[Threlizdun]

I don't mean to be cruel or anything, but that must have sucked.

Happened to me. Ruined a friendship

I actually don't know what affect that would have had on our friendship, as I had basically been telling her goodbye. She was severely depressed, and while I tried to help her she simply got angry at me for that. She was constantly telling me about all the problems she had, was degenerating, began to treat everyone around her poorly, and eventually got into drug use, so I concluded that my feelings prevented me from being able to stand around and watch her destroy herself. Later I became friends with her again, but she started essentially manipulating my emotions and finally got back into drugs again, so I told her to get out of my life. We have made up and split up multiple times since then. What feelings I used to have for her are all gone luckily. I actually had to force them out of myself because I was depressed. The only reason we are still friends is because we have almost the exact same interests, sense of humor, several classes together, and share common friends, so as we can't avoid each other, we both concluded it would be better to just avoid topics that made us angry and just talk about other things.

[Maraque]

When I was 16. We had known each other since we were two years old, and I was already crushing on him big time before he came out to me, before we eventually started dating.

[Newmoonrising]

I fell hard into infatuation with a girl when I was 16. Obviously that didn't end well. After that I was well known for getting carried away in romantic fancies of idealised love with each girlfriend- yet paradoxically would tire of it quickly and dump them. Probably some teenager defence mechanism or something.

The first time I'd say I properly fell in reciprocated love I was 19. She meant the world to me. We clutched each other, shut our eyes, and for a moment the entire world fell from beneath our feet and we existed amongst the starts. That moment ended 4 years later when we got divorced (Don't even ask how we got married).

The world was grey and lifeless, winter reigned, and I had all but resigned myself to a embittered cynical life, forsaken of love. After about 2 years, by hurt had numbed away into a kind of peaceful ache- and I had engaged the world again accepting of the premise enjoyment might still be had if love was a sham. Then I fell in love. Laugh if you will. 2 weeks later we were practically living together. 2 months later we had sold everything we owned and purchased 1 way tickets to europe. 1 year later we had lived in Rome, the hills of Lazio, Lancashire, Manchester, and Amsterdam.

Life is love and love is grand.

Writing a romance novel?

[The Merchant Republics]

So far, notta. I never have ever felt the feeling and I'm 17. I'll likely go on my first date durring college, seeing how there is not a single female in the school I would ever think of dating. Conservatives, e.e.

You have conservatives in your school? I'd kill for a girl with any politics.

We have really ugly girls and really dumb girls. Only one worth caring about moved, with exception to her similarly nice friends, but I'd feel like a sleaze moving on from one girl to her friend.

I'm screwed in short.

[Chaos Crescent]

Come to think of it I do not think I ever fell in love probably lust.

[New England and The Maritimes]

I'm honestly not sure. Hard to even define love as it is. Judging by the other responses on this thread, probably when I was 7 to one of my neighbors, who was 9 at the time.

The next one was somebody I've known my entire life, we first met when I kicked her in the face as she sat on my mother's lap. I wasn't quite out yet.

The first time was basically resolved when her entire family moved across the country one day. Second one is unresolved, honestly.

[GreaterPacificNations]

I fell hard into infatuation with a girl when I was 16. Obviously that didn't end well. After that I was well known for getting carried away in romantic fancies of idealised love with each girlfriend- yet paradoxically would tire of it quickly and dump them. Probably some teenager defence mechanism or something.

The first time I'd say I properly fell in reciprocated love I was 19. She meant the world to me. We clutched each other, shut our eyes, and for a moment the entire world fell from beneath our feet and we existed amongst the starts. That moment ended 4 years later when we got divorced (Don't even ask how we got married).

The world was grey and lifeless, winter reigned, and I had all but resigned myself to a embittered cynical life, forsaken of love. After about 2 years, by hurt had numbed away into a kind of peaceful ache- and I had engaged the world again accepting of the premise enjoyment might still be had if love was a sham. Then I fell in love. Laugh if you will. 2 weeks later we were practically living together. 2 months later we had sold everything we owned and purchased 1 way tickets to europe. 1 year later we had lived in Rome, the hills of Lazio, Lancashire, Manchester, and Amsterdam.

Life is love and love is grand.

Writing a romance novel?

I'm writing a Steampunk Fantasy novel with Spaghetti western themes and elements of cosmic horror.

[Ethel mermania]

^^ Everything Dakini says is true.



1. Still owned by the family
2. "bare minimum?"
3. There we go. This is a legitimate reason to think life sucks.

But there are literally hundreds of millions of people worse off than you who live not just neutral, but happy lives. At least you've got some scars to back up your cynicism, though.

Yup. And others that if I mentioned, I'm fairly sure I'd start up a blog on Nationstates. And by bare minimum, I mean enough not to die. But just not enough to be feeled and not be hungry sometimes.
Anyways, I just think it sucks cause of the way people act. Some people can be soooo irritating.

Yeah, that's the life of a 15 year old.

Seriously though, don't worry about it. You have your whole life to date and have fun. Just relax and do your own thing because you enjoy it. Spend your teenage years trying new things and developing into an interesting adult.

Also, nothing turns people off like desperation. So just go about your life, hang out with your friends, do activities you enjoy. If they're social activities you might meet someone interesting who you hit it off with, but if your goal is primarily to have fun and enjoy yourself (or learn something new) then it won't matter if you do meet someone special or not.

Well, I'm more almost 14. In about a month I'll be 14. But true. Already tried dating once. Didn't work out so well. Turns out she lied about liking me, made up something to break up, then changed her phone number and stopped talking to me. Then went out with her friend, who happened to be in a class me and her had together.

Anyways, I'm guessing you've passed through such stage?

i am not dakini but you got 4 more years of that, it is called high school, but that is OK, it really is a chance to figure out what you like and don't like, and it seems that you do not like being played, which may hurt a little bit now, but in the long run is a good sign.

I know folks who fell into bed the first time they met and got married, i know people who found their mates in high school and are still married, but most my friends were friends with the women (and men) they dated and had relationships by being friends first, and the rest of the stuff came after. That takes time and patience.

[Newmoonrising]

Writing a romance novel?

I'm writing a Steampunk Fantasy novel with Spaghetti western themes and elements of cosmic horror.

Becuase your recount sounds to good to be true along with something that sounds like a happy ending in a romance novel.

[The Congregationists]

I'm erotophobic, I hate to be touched, and I have a fear of intimacy. It's never happening to me.

Erotophobia is no ward against the intrusion of the romantic or sexual. If it were, I'd still be single.

[GreaterPacificNations]

I'm writing a Steampunk Fantasy novel with Spaghetti western themes and elements of cosmic horror.

Becuase your recount sounds to good to be true along with something that sounds like a happy ending in a romance novel.

Or the second act of a tragedy novel.

I haven't lost my cynicism- it just defers to my romanticism.

[AETEN II]

So far, notta. I never have ever felt the feeling and I'm 17. I'll likely go on my first date durring college, seeing how there is not a single female in the school I would ever think of dating. Conservatives, e.e.

Pretty sure there is a simple solution to that: do not bring up politics. Ever.

I could never date with a female whose views are a complete opposite of mine. I strongly believe in the civil rights of all groups and the support of scientific views by the government, not religious.
Also, that is what they believe in, I never said they carred about anything besides their makeup and the latest celebrity news and school gosip. I typically enter class talking about, HOLY SHIT, didja here about how Iran had a plan to assasinate the saudi ambassador to America? This might even be a catalyst for A FUTURE WAR! While they enter talking about who looks cutest and who's dating whom or who said something hilarious at lunch.


The ideal mate for me would be a girl who cared about the world news that's IMPORTANT, believed in civil rights, and was well educated in any subject so that I could have undless, deep, meaningful conversations with her.

[Idealismania]

I remember my first huge crush hit me when I was about 9. I met a girl in my class that I thought was just absolutely gorgeous, and I was always very awkard around her. The crush never left and all through high school I still had a major crush on her, but she was with the the very popular crowd where as I did not really fit in too well in that group. It's weird cause now I'm attracted to the girls with black hair and dark eyes but she had bright blond hair and blue eyes.

[Saurisisia]

Pretty sure there is a simple solution to that: do not bring up politics. Ever.

I could never date with a female whose views are a complete opposite of mine. I strongly believe in the civil rights of all groups and the support of scientific views by the government, not religious.
Also, that is what they believe in, I never said they carred about anything besides their makeup and the latest celebrity news and school gosip. I typically enter class talking about, HOLY SHIT, didja here about how Iran had a plan to assasinate the saudi ambassador to America? This might even be a catalyst for A FUTURE WAR! While they enter talking about who looks cutest and who's dating whom or who said something hilarious at lunch.


The ideal mate for me would be a girl who cared about the world news that's IMPORTANT, believed in civil rights, and was well educated in any subject so that I could have undless, deep, meaningful conversations with her.

I personally subscribe to the view "all men are created equal" and as for religion/science? Well, I'm not into science all that much beyond my knowledge of Dinosaurs and other Reptiles, so it's basically meh. I also care about world news too, though I hear most of it on the internet or through overhearing local news.

[AETEN II]

I could never date with a female whose views are a complete opposite of mine. I strongly believe in the civil rights of all groups and the support of scientific views by the government, not religious.
Also, that is what they believe in, I never said they carred about anything besides their makeup and the latest celebrity news and school gosip. I typically enter class talking about, HOLY SHIT, didja here about how Iran had a plan to assasinate the saudi ambassador to America? This might even be a catalyst for A FUTURE WAR! While they enter talking about who looks cutest and who's dating whom or who said something hilarious at lunch.


The ideal mate for me would be a girl who cared about the world news that's IMPORTANT, believed in civil rights, and was well educated in any subject so that I could have undless, deep, meaningful conversations with her.

I personally subscribe to the view "all men are created equal" and as for religion/science? Well, I'm not into science all that much beyond my knowledge of Dinosaurs and other Reptiles, so it's basically meh. I also care about world news too, though I hear most of it on the internet or through overhearing local news.

My knowledge is more like a database, I absorb relevant information like a sponge. I dream of a girl who I could actually hold extensive conversations, if not docile debates with. That'd be nice. I need a muse.

[Trotskylvania]

I was 17, almost 18. Her name was Kristeena. We'd met two years before, when both of us stupidly volunteered to do policy debate on the speech team. We soon became good friends, and for a while, we became almost inseparable. Somehow along the line, I fell in love.

She didn't. What was worst, though, was the fact she kinda went a little crazy around the same time, for reasons I promised never to tell anyone, and because I was enamored and so deeply self-conscious, I wasn't the friend I should have been to her. I was too caught up in being jealous, and so we grew apart. Eventually, we weren't even on speaking terms, which if you are the state finals of policy debate, is generally a bad place to be.

Not to say she was entirely blameless. She handled her problems in very much the wrong way, and she ended up hurting me as much as I hurt her. But I failed her, and it took me a long time to realize that.

But, after years apart, we're starting to put our broken friendship back together, which is nice and omg my life has become a Lifetime movie...

[New England and The Maritimes]

I was 17, almost 18. Her name was Kristeena. We'd met two years before, when both of us stupidly volunteered to do policy debate on the speech team. We soon became good friends, and for a while, we became almost inseparable. Somehow along the line, I fell in love.

She didn't. What was worst, though, was the fact she kinda went a little crazy around the same time, for reasons I promised never to tell anyone, and because I was enamored and so deeply self-conscious, I wasn't the friend I should have been to her. I was too caught up in being jealous, and so we grew apart. Eventually, we weren't even on speaking terms, which if you are the state finals of policy debate, is generally a bad place to be.

Not to say she was entirely blameless. She handled her problems in very much the wrong way, and she ended up hurting me as much as I hurt her. But I failed her, and it took me a long time to realize that.

But, after years apart, we're starting to put our broken friendship back together, which is nice and omg my life has become a Lifetime movie...

It's called Oxygen now.

[Trotskylvania]

I was 17, almost 18. Her name was Kristeena. We'd met two years before, when both of us stupidly volunteered to do policy debate on the speech team. We soon became good friends, and for a while, we became almost inseparable. Somehow along the line, I fell in love.

She didn't. What was worst, though, was the fact she kinda went a little crazy around the same time, for reasons I promised never to tell anyone, and because I was enamored and so deeply self-conscious, I wasn't the friend I should have been to her. I was too caught up in being jealous, and so we grew apart. Eventually, we weren't even on speaking terms, which if you are the state finals of policy debate, is generally a bad place to be.

Not to say she was entirely blameless. She handled her problems in very much the wrong way, and she ended up hurting me as much as I hurt her. But I failed her, and it took me a long time to realize that.

But, after years apart, we're starting to put our broken friendship back together, which is nice and omg my life has become a Lifetime movie...

It's called Oxygen now.

That just establishes how old I am.

[New England and The Maritimes]

It's called Oxygen now.

That just establishes how old I am.

Nah, I grew up with the "Lifetime movies" thing, too. It was a pretty recent change. Anyway, the worst part that I know from experience is the "I fell in love, she didn't" bit. It's why I've never really been able to come out with it to someone.

[Trotskylvania]

That just establishes how old I am.

Nah, I grew up with the "Lifetime movies" thing, too. It was a pretty recent change. Anyway, the worst part that I know from experience is the "I fell in love, she didn't" bit. It's why I've never really been able to come out with it to someone.

Yeah. I must admit, it bewilders me. There are times where it seems like a miracle that anyone ever has a requited love.

I've only ever experienced it once, and she was a lesbian I met on the internet. So still doomed from the start, but just by biology.

[1000 Cats]

Oh, it is. It's been well over a decade since, and my romantic life is quite healthy indeed. I did have a little bit of a breakdown when I realized that a potentially very important chunk of my autobiographical memory was blank, but I've since learned to not worry about it. Thank you for your consideration.

Yeah, when I read this, I got emotional too. I'm really sorry man, I hate to hear that happen to you, I hate that that happens to anybody. It's good to hear you're coping; if I was in your situation..... don't even want to go there. I'm sorry that happened.

Ack, now I look like I'm going about collecting condolences. For her death... well, she was old, by the time I was sixteen. And forgetting... well, it still seems really weird when I think about it, but I did the forgetting quite a long time ago and have since grown.

Although I have to admit, even though I didn't mean to make anyone really sad, there's something very heartening about my romantic life actually gaining sympathy. Thank you.

[The Merchant Republics]

Nah, I grew up with the "Lifetime movies" thing, too. It was a pretty recent change. Anyway, the worst part that I know from experience is the "I fell in love, she didn't" bit. It's why I've never really been able to come out with it to someone.

Yeah. I must admit, it bewilders me. There are times where it seems like a miracle that anyone ever has a requited love.

I've only ever experienced it once, and she was a lesbian I met on the internet. So still doomed from the start, but just by biology.

Must... resist... uncontrollable urge... to dreary pessimism...

Love might be just round the corner! It has to be, it can't not be, oh gosh, please don't tell me it isn't.

[New England and The Maritimes]

Nah, I grew up with the "Lifetime movies" thing, too. It was a pretty recent change. Anyway, the worst part that I know from experience is the "I fell in love, she didn't" bit. It's why I've never really been able to come out with it to someone.

Yeah. I must admit, it bewilders me. There are times where it seems like a miracle that anyone ever has a requited love.

I've only ever experienced it once, and she was a lesbian I met on the internet. So still doomed from the start, but just by biology.

I think it might be not as straightforward as it appears. I feel it must be that they find someone who loves them, at which point they realize it's so rare to find a person who actually loves you, and decide to fake it until it becomes real.

I'm not sure it's really faking it, personally. I think love is something that can be learned or developed or however you want to put it.