Awesome/Funny NS quotes (not your own quotes, please)

[Nightkill the Emperor]

A male dolphin.

Dolphin? How would you... I'm not going to ask, since this will most likely warrant an explanation similar to the last one about Nihil and well... I STILL lose sleep over that.

[Nationstatelandsville]

Ive done it. I've found a picture of what Nightkill looks like.

(Image)

That is so Photoshopped.

I know that Nightkill's eyes are not that color.

Nice try.

[Nationstatelandsville]

Dolphin? How would you... I'm not going to ask, since this will most likely warrant an explanation similar to the last one about Nihil and well... I STILL lose sleep over that.

That's funnier when you see the original explanation for her character. She was talking about how her character, who has tentacles, was somehow attractive to the others ones:

How is that... even possible?

Vagina + tendril = wiggle wiggle

[Nationstatelandsville]

Did he photoshop you nude or do you always lunch like that?

Are you implying that Nightkill ever wears clothes in the first place?

[Nationstatelandsville]

I'm so lazy. I've been staring at the SAME SENTENCE for a month now. Someone motivate me to finish my novel.

Finish it or I'll hunt you down and turn your skull into a belt-buckle.

Needless to say I'll be putting the deadbolt on my door tonight.

[Hardened Pyrokinetics]

Reppy gives roleplay advice. New East Ireland, take notes:

Alrighty then, I'll start the IC thread tomorrow. I just need to figure out what the hell I'm going to do for the IC thread.

Speaking from experience running RPs, and advice from my IRL group's DnD DM: Take your time setting up your premise. If you rush in without the framework set up it's real easy to run an RP into th ground. It won't kill the rest of us if we hafta wait a couple of days.

[Forlon]

THe problem is, you have laden your bin too full.

And no state can tolerate a bin laden.

[Norstal]

36 minutes ago: Sedgistan was refounded.
38 minutes ago: Sedgistan ceased to exist.

Never tell a Game Mod he can't delete your nation >_>

[The FTR]

Japan remains weird, as ever. Such is the result of nuclear warfare. *nods*

[Nationstatelandsville]

...
Why are we giving our tax dollars to these idiots? They should be fighting REAL crime, like intelligent people!

What, intelligent people are a crime?

Oh, wait, it's Georgia.

[Gernonai]

BREAKING NEWS: Law applies to everyone. Public disgusted.

Exactly. They're kids. Do you expect them to keep up to the hygiene standards that actual trained, paid adults sometimes don't? If they forgot to wash their hands then people could get seriously sick.

As always, Ifreann has to ruin everything by making sense.

This was on a topic about some cops who shut down a lemonade stand run by some kids

[Astrolinium]

Fetishism isn't.
Furthermore... why is that even relevant? It merely differentiates between dangerous and less dangerous versions of the same problem.
To continue my analogy, if instead of into the mouth, you tried to shove bananas under your armpit, asides from starvation risk you'd be in pretty good shape.
If however you tried to breathe in chunks of one, you'd be in a risk of suffocation any time you got your hands on one.

An armpit is just as wrong a place for a banana to be shoved in as lungs are ,but the lungs are a really dangerous place as well.
However, legitimising the second on the basis it's not as bad as the first is rather insipid.

Have you ever had a banana in your armpit?

You're at the grocery store looking through all the fruits and veggies. Blandness meets your eyes. Everything is wilted, faded - just so out of season. Suddenly you see him. Suave. Yellow. Curved and some sort of South American. He calls out to you with silent desire, an invitatation to a taboo you didn't even know was your fantasy. You shopping cart is left behind and you're out the door 49 cents poorer but with joy in a tiny paper bag.

You're back at your place, out of breath and with your heart racing. You see his brown crown peeking at you from over the top of the paper bag. You need this. God, you think, I hope I remembered to put on deodorant. You slip his bag off. So phallic. So perfectly curved... perfect for that spot. Your one spot. You lick his skin and the chemicals give you a little bit of a high. Nothing like insecticide to help break the ice.

You hold his nub and whisper nothings as you gently -GENTLY- remove his outer layer. 3 easy delicate pulls and he's free and glorious. You remove your shirt. But are you ready? Is it too late to stop? Butterflies fight heroic battles within your bowels. No. Damn it all! You must have this. Such a perfect curve. So perfect. It just fits. You feel him tickle your underpit hairs. Your moaning and oh lord, you're almost positive a banana moans with you as you bring your arm to a warm, squishy, gushy close.

Well you can't actually rape her if she's your girlfriend after all

Fionnuala, NOW look what you did!
My sarcasm detector just melted.

[Nationstatelandsville]

Nay! All must kneel before the might of... TECHNO VIKING

NO! I am the God of the New World. All who oppose me shall have their names written down, and I will come to your house and perform violent acts with a plunger![/quote

[Nationstatelandsville]

Why the fuck would I sleep with a Brit? I heard they are horrid in bed.

Now, if you want fun...French girls. That is who you go to when you need fun. *nods*

They surrender easy

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Somebody needs to turn the International politics of the 1940s into a porno

So...

Germany rapes France, Poland, and that other country I can't remember...and tries to rape Britian after they gave Germany a blow job back in the 30s. Attempts to rape Russia, but then gets double penetrated by the Americans and the SOviets?

Or soemthign like that...

[Nationstatelandsville]

That trollface looks like Mushet's retard half-giant cousin.

That trollface looks nothing like my retard half giant cousin

[Mushet]

Three in a row ba-zing

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Wake up in the mornin' feeling like M. Ghandi...

Spat out some rhymes in Hindi
Brotha's don't get it, my rage becomes windy
Becomes a hurricane, blows down motherfucking buildings
NEI begins masturbating
Bitches better start acknowledging
Better start accepting, admitting, affirming
Cause I am the boss
A brown guy you do not want to cross
Gonna smash you into nothing but sauce
Nobody'll be sorry for your loss

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Brotha better realize he never should doubt
I know what I'm doing, he should just walk out

Fap solo!

*Fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap*

UGH!

[Alevuss]

Spat out some rhymes in Hindi
Brotha's don't get it, my rage becomes windy
Becomes a hurricane, blows down motherfucking buildings
NEI begins masturbating
Bitches better start acknowledging
Better start accepting, admitting, affirming
Cause I am the boss
A brown guy you do not want to cross
Gonna smash you into nothing but sauce
Nobody'll be sorry for your loss

Grr! I was just about to post that. I love this quote.

[Nationstatelandsville]

This land is your land
This land is my land
this land is...
Fuck it, it's all mine get out.

[Coffee Cakes]

It's a fap party.

A fap party
You feel yourself hardening
It's a fap party
Whip it out and start masturbating

We let in big and small, we promise by the end you'll be hearty
Cause it's just a fap party
Just relax and have it come naturally
We're wringing it out spectacularly

It's a fap party
You feel yourself hardening
It's a fap party
Whip it out and start masturbating

We all have hairs on our palms
We even have a few priests, Brahmins and even imams
We promise no harm
Cause we're even exercising our arms

It's a fap party
You feel yourself hardening
It's a fap party
Whip it out and start masturbating

[Coffee Cakes]

Anything I say here will be utterly inappropriate. Utterly and definitively inappropriate.

>_> More hugs for Cakey.

(Image)

<snip>Fuck AT&T.

Not even with a borrowed dong on a 10 foot pole.

This girl can out eat me too... *palm*

It is time for me to go home and sleep. Again. More. Because at a glance, I read that totally wrong and now I feel ... hrm. Let's not go there, shall we? We'll go for 'bad'. Bad, Nathi. No biscuit.

See, now you boys have taken my mind to that dark place where some rough Dya/Jim action sounds about right. >_>

Nathis a perv. Apparently a jealous one at that.

Not you Hath. The posters of large male specimens of the poultry variety. I have this to say about all that:

(Image)

there's no hard-fast rule against playing with oneself on the forums

Too late, Chat beat you to it. :-P

Oh my.

Cakes, let me introduce you to a concept of 'If I don't ask, you really don't have to tell me about it'. :-P Keep yer kinks between yerselves, man. Yeesh! *flee*

This exchange here

o mai

You are only coming through in waves.

And here I thought it was surely going to be 'I need a dirty woman.' *flee*

Nathi! lol

No, silly! I am not going to be a dirty woman for you, or anyone else here - unless it's in reference to working out in the yard ... which must exist somewhere around here somehow perhaps ... >_>

I thought I sensed the word 'fetish' being tossed around. Ah hah - the usual suspects! Only ... it's much less um ... what's the word for it ... salacious than I had expected. >_>

Hee ... salacious salad. No, I'm not going to think too hard on that right now.

Heh heh heh. It's Cakey.

Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnekkid! :-P

I'm not sure how to break this to you but ... using cold to flaunt? You're doing it wrong ... Not that I want to see, because that would be all sorts of wrong, but hey. You know. For the record.

EDIT: Oh. Wait.

I want to see any of you actually nekkid about as much as I'd want to see Hillary Clinton nekkid in a three way with Margaret Thatcher and Jocelyn Wildenstein. Only in your cases it wouldn't be due to absolute horror.

iloverocopurr.com is finished. lol

YOU ARE JUST OMFG

I love it. *hug*

Everyone, worship CC!

So according to this, Coffee Cakes is some sort of fairy tale I'm talking to on Facebook since he's a male bisexual.

Sounds legit.

You sure are fast.

Sometimes I forget you and Seito are dating and then I remember and it makes me happy. :]

Every time I hear y'all talk about each other I feel fuzzy and want to hug you both >w<

Yes, that'd be him yes.

We now dub CC as the anomaly of NS

I have never doubted this. He's an mystery wrapped in an anomaly.

There's never too much Coffee Cake ; )

Coffee... You get massive points for that.

You are awesome, Coffee.

You're an annoyingly cute cupcake, that's what you are.

I like Coffee Cakes.

I like CC too...

I am as revolted as I am amused, Cakes. Your imagination defies comprehension.

I think your definition of SFW is vastly different from mine, CC.

I've seen you post things that I will never, ever understand.

You're one interesting being, Cakes.

SEE THAT CAKES IS BADASS

Aw drat, I got found out.

SO IT IS TRUE!!!!!!

HAIL DARKSEID!!!

Anything goes with CC around. *nod*

Cake is the cure to all evils.

he's a terrific person

If totalitarianism is necessary to save the state, then the state isn't worth saving.

Yay, CC is always awesome

Well, CC is all that.

CC is occasionally amusing.

CC and CV for President!

EMBRACE AND HUG THE CC.

A smashing endorsement from CC.

Because he's Cakes and cake is irresistible!

Ok. It is official. Cakes kicks ass.

Do you really think pills or rubbers can stop the mighty seed of CC?

All bow down to Cakes, so mighty.

When Coffee Cakes faps to his ego, the entire world faps along with him.

You sir, Are my hero.

3 dudes on a beach in a sandcastle war has to be cute at the least... >.>
Bonus points topless. xD

I name thee Sir Coffee Cakes, Grand High Slut of the Three Kingdoms!

Are the mods corrupt/biased? Pff, you should be asking a different question!

Are the mods corrupt/biased enough? I, for one, think they've still got an unfortunately long ways to go. I mean really, threads like this one and Karin's utterly absurd revolution thread are proof enough of that. Where is the hellfire and nuclear modbomb barrage? They ought to be more liberally apply their banhammers, and they are sorely lacking on their DEAT-stabbings. Their names should be making the peasantry flee in fear at the mere mention of them! Their wrath should be quickly and freely given, with none of this obnoxious escalating warnings and one-day softly-softly ban crap. Can you imagine? People getting unofficial notices and redtext warnings, instead of the skull-smashing impact of a banhammer at the first cause of modly annoyance! And don't even get me started on their idiotic appeals process! It's disgusting I tell you! Letting players get erroneous warnings overturned, letting them question the infaliable Word of Mod? Preposterous!

Seriously, what kinda of mamby-pamby corruption is that? Sweet merciless BOFH, they are doing it completely wrong! Try harder, mods! Come on, you can do better than this!

(Image)
~Reploid Seductions
~She Who is Feared, She Who Wields the Oversized Butcher Knives of Deletion
~The Bastard Nationstates Game Moderator... from HELL!

Please, keep your nanny state away from me.

Every day is a stupid day for government.

Where do you work that people are that stupid, if you don't mind me asking.

I'm guessing the US Congress.

I'm a Senator. Feel the corruption flow within me as I vote for a bill that will put you in a box on the street, you nasty beggar.

Cakes is an ace in the hole.

That's why you're hot CC.

I want the original.

*edges toward you*

Nom, nom, nom, nom.

Underage boys flirting, yes this is why I visit NSG for.

Its NSG, we live to be disturbed.

We agree you were wrong. Better?

Great minds fail alike.

No need^. You can thank CC for killing you and reviving you.

CC you cold hearted merciful bastard angel.

Coffee Cakes. You helped show me that the combination of religious and conservative do not equal stupid.

CC is awesome.

...I think you just became my favorite person on NS...beside Fris..

Hmm, so your saying that being attracted to someone is sexual harassment.

Therefore I demand that the women of the world sexually harass me.....constantly.

I have a weird urge to throw my poke ball at somebody...

Coffee Cakes, I choose you!

"BEER!"
"VODKA!"
"WHISKEY!"
"WINE!"
"RUM!"

"Go Cirrhosis!"

"By your powers combined, I am Captain Cirrhosis!"

Captain Cirrhosis, he's our hero
Gonna take sobriety down to zero

He's our powers magnified
And he's fighting on the alcohol's side

Captain Cirrhosis, he's our hero
Gonna take sobriety down to zero

Gonna help him put asunder
Bad guys who like to loot and plunder

"You'll pay for this Captain Cirrhosis!"

We're the NSG drunks
You can be one too
'Cause saving our livers is not the thing to do!

Drinking and wining is the way
Hear what Captain Cirrhosis has to say!

"The Drink is Yours!"

I need to get drunk.

I love booze, booze loves me
Oh shit, I have to pee
I'm so smashed I'm falling on the floor
Alcoholic Dinosaur

Condemn Everyone
Category: Condemnation
Nominee: Everyone

---

THE SECURITY COUNCIL,
NOTING there are a fucking lot of people in the world,
RECOGNIZING that a hell of a bunch of them are dumbasses,
SHOCKED at all the puerile whining within this very body,
CONVINCED that such a situation is chiefly due to Nazis, abortion, and store-brand Mountain Dew,
DEFINING "Nazis" as persons who manufacture delicious bread out of persons of a Jewish persuasion,
BELIEVING that "everyone" includes Nazis, communists, and Bob Flibble,
APPALLED that your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries,

HEREBY CONDEMNS Everyone,
AND AFFIRMS that you're all horrible, horrible people.

That there I times I walk into this thread and find a big question mark hovering figuratively over my head.

I picture it much like walking through my front door, finding three midgets in S&M attire, a giraffe painted blue, and a banana cream pie involved in an unmentionable act, consider turning around and walking back out the door, but find myself morbidly compelled to stay and watch, or possibly even join in.

No, no... I'm just unique... lol

Fixed.

Being reduced to rubble makes rebuilding yourself into something better easier.

I'm in love with the magical powers of fapspam.

Fixed that for you.

I saw.

*Raises steak knife and big fork*

Don't cut me up, I'm tender!

Gonna be a buffet tonight.

That's because, unlike you, Coffee and I have adult things to doDrinking to everything. So, you'll pass us within the next two-three weeks.

That it's time for bed. Good night all, and don't let Coffee in your pants.

Haven't you heard, some hot chick let Coffee in her pants and sued for millions for damages.

That I'm going to be busy tomorrow morning, so I gotta go. Good night all and don't let Coffee penetrate your defenses.

But his sword... it's irresistible invincible!

You're Irish? You, sir, are a triple threat: Cool, a drunk and Irish.

Why am I evil? Can't I just be amoral?

I have a hard time categorizing skullrape as anything but immoral. But everyone has their foibles. Some people collect stamps, others, human suffering. ^_________________^

You call it skullrape, I call it. . .

(Image)

I keep hoping a knight in shining untarnished armor will ride out of nowhere, rally the nation, put us back on track, and cut through all this two-party bullshit.

And then I remember I shouldn't be thinking politics late at night whilst on hydrocodone cough syrup. It makes one think all manner of silly things.

I came from the depth of Hellbeer, a place of demonic drunks. This place is not suitable for your petty drinking, as only the toughest drunks can survive the near impossible conditions. I fought may way up, one shattered beer glass at a time. And now, I am here.

I am an American, dammit! I'm not supposed to *have* to work to be successful!

D:<

Or this..?

U.S. congressmen should have to dress like Nascar drivers and wear the logos of all the banks, investment banks, insurance companies and real estate firms that they’re taking money from. The public needs to know.

Doesn't matter, as a Pens fan, he's my bitch anyway.

That's so far from the truth, the truth and you have divorced. She gets the kids.

All "check your privilege" is, as said by others, is "you don't know because of your background". It furthermore implies that because of your background, that you are therefore infallibly correct.
There is no actual basis in it.

It's kind of some new-age, advanced reverse racism.
It's pretty fucking shameful as a "debate tactic".

Fascism is such an unpleasant ideology. It lacks both the compassion of liberalism and the independence of conservatism. Why do people like it?

One of these days I need to learn to cook...

Locate water, holder for water, and 100 degree plus capable heat source.

Put water in holder, apply heat source.

Once water looks angry, add meat.

Wait 30 minutes.

Tadah! You've cooked.

See you guys? Ben gets it!

[Minoriteeburg]

A fap party
You feel yourself hardening
It's a fap party
Whip it out and start masturbating

We let in big and small, we promise by the end you'll be hearty
Cause it's just a fap party
Just relax and have it come naturally
We're wringing it out spectacularly

It's a fap party
You feel yourself hardening
It's a fap party
Whip it out and start masturbating

We all have hairs on our palms
We even have a few priests, Brahmins and even imams
We promise no harm
Cause we're even exercising our arms

It's a fap party
You feel yourself hardening
It's a fap party
Whip it out and start masturbating

I'll drink to that.

[Coffee Cakes]

I'll drink to that.

Cheers.