World Bowl XIV RP Thread

[Qazox]

World Bowl Today

"Welcome to World Bowl Today, I'm your host Dan Cowher, joining me is Bill Sharpe and Sterling Marino. Qazox 'upset' #7 Colmark 34-23 to set up a match that everyone wants to see: Qazox-Allamunnic States 12. Yes, the blood feud will have a 12th round with the series currently tied at 5-5-1. But before we talk about that game, let's talk about the Colmark game. Coach Bruschi tossed in a couple of trick plays, both leading to Qazox TD's last night. So grade the Sharks against Colmark."

Marino: "B+. The defense allowed one big play early, the 67-yd bomb from Peter Watson to Andrew Mitchell and the offense missed out on 2 good scoring drives due to stupid penalties. But for a team that has won 7 in a row, 9 in a row if you count the two exhibition games, this game went about as good as it could go. I did like the double-pass to Sanar in the 2nd half that put Qazox up 27-14."

Sharpe: "B-. The penalties, were stupid, but the Bears offense controlled the LOS all day. Yes they only scored on 4 drives, but those drives averaged 5:24, and that was including the 1:34 drive on the long TD pass. Against the Regulars next week, that would a death sentence."

Cowher: "So once again Qazox and The Allamunnic States meet in the World Bowl playoffs. Qazox has lost 4 of 5 to the Regulars in the last 3 years, including an exhibition loss before qualfying began. We know what each team is going to do offensively and defensively. So put yourselves in Coach Bruschi's shoes. What does Qazox have to do to win?"

Sharpe: "Control the Line of Scrimmage. They don't neccessarily have to get to Maarkus Daalhulm, but the Shars need to keep the Running Back committee in check. Offensively, just move the chains and keep the clock running. Take as much time off the clock each possession as possible."

Marino: "Force the Regular's defense into mis-matches. Niether team's probably going to gain 300 yards passing, though AMS is the likelier to do so. But the Sharks need to force the linebackers to over-persue the trip-opt, allowing Erickson or Gouchi to break off a long run. Defensively, use the 5 LB's wisely. Don't over-commit to the run on 1st and 2nd downs. Yes the Regulars might get 5-6 yards, but that's better than a 20-25 yard compeletion along the sideline. Make Allamunnic States earn every yard."

Cowher: "We're at the quarterfinal stage, and Hickory Creek probably pulled off one of the bigger upsets in World Bowl history over Voltronica today. Does Hickory Creek have a chance to win the World Bowl?"

Marino: "They have a 1-in-8 chance of doing so, by my count. Hey, one bad game by anybody at this stage costs you, look no further than Voltronica. But realistically, I think their cinderella run ends against the Sea Dragons."

Sharpe: "No, they don't. As Sterling said, they had Voltronica play their worst game at the worst time and Hickory Creek took advantage. No way ASMV has their worst game next week."

Cowher: "Prediction time. Qazox-Allamunnic States, who do you have?"

Sharpe: "The Sharks are on a roll, but Allamunnic States has more experience. Regulars 27- Sharks 10."

Marino: "If Qazox can get out of the gate with a couple of scores and put pressure on AMS to respond, the Sharks will win. But they're not going to. Allamunnic States 28- Qazox 24."

Cowher: "That's all for today folks. For World Bowl Today, they're Bill Sharpe and Sterling Marino, and I'm Dan Cowher. Good night."

SCORING SUMMARY:
COL: 67 yd TD rec by Mitchell. Westaway PAT good. 0-7.
QZX: 21 yd TD rec by Abreu. Yawkey PAT good. 7-7.
QZX: 39 yd FG by Yawkey. 10-7.
COL: 7 yd TD rec by Mitchell. Westaway PAT good. 10-14.
QZX: 15 yd TD run by Chacin. Yawkey PAT good. 17-14.
QZX: 43 yd FG by Yawkey. 20-14.
QZX: 35 yd TD rec by Sanar. Yawkey PAT good. 27-14.
COL: 13 yd TD run by Hamilton. Westway PAT failed. 27-20.
COL: 40 yd FG by Westaway. 27-23.
QZX: 8 yd TD run by Erickson. Yawkey PAT good. 34-23.

[Sarzonia]

Being outdueled in the field goal department can be a good thing or a bad thing.

Cassadaigua kicker Emily Rutland hit all four of her field goal attempts compared to Sarzonia's Adam Novak's one-for-two outing, but Rutland's four field goals were all Cassadaigua could muster, and it cost the 14th seeded Dagans to the tune of Sarzonia's 17-12 victory in front of a sold out crowd of 75,500 at Joe Gibbs Stadium in Woodstock.

Sarzonia's reward will be the team that won the World Bowl the competition after the Stars themselves were champions. F1-Insanity. The Tirefitters defeated Rennidan 23-10 in another match that proved the Brutes were no longer as feared as they once were.

"We haven't heard as much about Rennidan doing well lately," said running back Shaquice Allen. "We were expecting the Tirefitters."

Novak missed a chance to open the scoring when his 33-yard field goal banged off the right upright early in the first quarter. Cassadaigua took advantage of the miscue to draw first blood courtesy of Rutland's 39-yarder as the first quarter came to a close. She would add a 41-yarder three minutes into the second, sandwiched around a Gavin Davis-to-Clark Hennessy 28-yard touchdown pass, providing the 7-6 Stars margin at halftime.

"No excuses," Novak said, refusing to cite the slippery turf where the ball was spotted. "I should have made that field goal."

The third quarter saw Rutland give the Dagans the lead, then extend it with 40- and 21-yard field goals, but the fourth underscored Cassadaigua's problems in the red zone. Even though they led the match 12-7 at the end of the third quarter, they could not convert in the red zone against a determined Stars defence. They would eventually pay with five minutes left. Novak finally had his field goal answer with a 43-yarder, then Sarzonia's defence forced a turnover near midfield with 2:18 remaining.

"Big play," said coach Gregg Williams. "Credit [linebacker] Erik Vasquez with the strip."

That set the stage for Davis, who scrambled for 14-yards on 3rd and 10 for a big first down at the Dagans 29. Then, he executed a perfect play action pass and hit a wide open Dave Coles for a touchdown pass with 1:34 remaining. The defence held and the Stars had their victory.

In other scores, No. 1 seeds Voltronica were sent packing by 16th seeded Hickory Creek, No. 2 Allamunnic States escaped Oiseaui 13-7, Delaclava edged Osarius 17-13, Bluth Corporation defeated Buffalostan 25-13, They Who Shall Not Be Named outclassed Colmark 34-23 and Andossa Se Mitrin Vega defeated Sibirsky 28-16.

The matches will now move to the familiar Big Three cities with Hendrix Stadium in Woodstock getting ASMV, who won the fifth Baptism of Iron at Hendrix Stadium. However, the story of the day is the match ups between rivals in this round. They Who Shall Not Be Named are facing Allamunnic States in a frequent playoff match up once again, while Delaclava and Bluth Corporation are playing in a rematch of the World Bowl XIII final.

Sarzonia and F1-Insanity may not have the history of the other rivalries that have seen additional chapters written on Sarzonian shores, but they did win World Bowls XI and XII respectively. And the Stars did curbstomp the then-Mulcahys 47-3 en route to their World Bowl XI triumph.

However, Davis said that match had no bearing on the quarterfinal match.

"It's a clean slate," he said. "We've got a lot of work to do."

[Andossa Se Mitrin Vega]

Hickory Creek Continues Improbable Run - Sea Dragons Up Next

The Sea Dragons received a bye into the round of 16 and waited rather patiently as two hated rivals, Sibirsky and Whittoria, duked it out in the Wild Card round of the playoffs. Sibirsky proved to be the better team, but the extra game must have taken the wind from their sails.

The Capitalizt were ready to play in the first half as they kept the Sea Dragon offense in check. Daniel Peterson and Hakeem El-Nammari spent the majority of the first half in the ASMV backfield as the sacked Ibrahiam Ju’Tok’untu a whopping 5 times and caused 2 fumbles in the process. LaTrell Laurie would find one of those fumbles cleanly into his hands as he galloped into the end zone to put Sibirsky up 7-0.

Luckily, the Capitalizt offense would struggle in the red zone as they settled for 3 Sean Sales field goals (27,24,48). But the fact remained that the Sea Dragons were down 16-0 with 3:23 left in the first half.

A botched kick off would allow ASMV to sneak back into the game. Jahirii Cabl’et would field the short kick at the 31 and weave his way to the Sibirsky 51 before tossing the ball backward to Jase Isid’dain who sprinted into the end zone to pull ASMV within 9 points as the half expired.

The second half would be an all Sea Dragons affair as the aging Sibirsky team (only three players under 30 years old) began to struggle.

Jo’Tok’untu suddenly found himself with time to throw and made the most of it as he tossed two second hald Tds, both to Kiril Irin’obur who finally was able to create space against Dallas Halpen. Tular Stonengeis would also find some much needed running room as Peter Griffin was finally pushed aside to create lanes. His touchdown in the fourth quarter gave ASMV a hard fought 28-16 victory and a place in the round of eight.


In other action 16 seed Hickory Creek knocked off top seeded Voltronica by an impressive 34-19 score. There is very little information to find on Hickory Creek outside of the scorelines. They seem to be just a bunch of unidentified players who show up and demolish anything in their way. These playoffs are a prime example D&S were the victims in the Wild Card round. That means that we will have to be very careful not to fall to these unknown players as well in the next round. But we have had great luck before in Hendrix Stadium in Woodstock. In fact, we kind of love the place.
Prediction: ASMV 37-22 Hickory Creek

The Allamunnic States survived their encounter with BoI Champs Oiseaui 13-7. Now they are set to face rivals Qazox who blasted upstarts Colmark 34-23. The Allamunnic States have controlled the series of late but Qazox is running on all cylinders. Should be an amazing battle.
Prediction: Qazox 19-16 The Alumunnic States in OT

Sarzonia continued their quiet run by edging out the Dagans 17-12. F1 - Insanity also stayed under the radar with a 23-10 victory over Rennidan. One of these two teams will have to step into the spotlight and claim their spot in the final four.
Prediction: Sarzonia 24-12 F1 -Insanity

The monster match in the tournament thus far was set up as Bluth Corporation dropped Buffalostan 25-13 and Delaclava grounded the high-flying Osarius team 17-14 thus creating a rematch of World Bow XIII’s Championship. Mike Sarzo Stadium in Nicksia should be rocking as the two giants collide.
Prediction: Bluth Corporation 24-20 Delaclava.

All it takes is one bad game to send anyone home at this point. Will the Sea Dragons reach a second straight final four? Will Sarzonia continue to impress on their home turf? Will it be Bluth Corporation or Delaclava who emerges as the favorite for the title? Could we see a Qazox vs. Sarzonia final? Or will it be one of the others who continue to shine? We will find out tonight.

[Bluth Corporation]

The Revolutionary Blutharian Peoples' Party (Marxism-Leninism, Mao Tse-Tung Thought) and the Revolutionary Blutharian Peoples' Party (Marxism-Leninism/Mao Tse-Tung Thought) set themselves up for a rematch of the World Bowl XIII Final against the sniveling Delaclavan Baby Eaters with a decisive 25-13 win over emerging rival Buffalostan in Woodstock. Quarterback Cain Wells was 23-for-31 for 284 yards, two touchdowns and an interception, while the Revolutionary Blutharian Peoples' Party (Marxism-Leninism/Mao Tse-Tung Thought) forced two safeties and a fumble as it held the Buffalostani offense to just 295 total yards and thirteen points.

"I'm not going to lie, it's great to get a solid win to begin our playoff run," said Matthew Simpson after the game. "And especially against this team, after they beat us for the division championship in overtime last year and knocked us out of the playoffs early two years ago. It feels really good. And to their credit, they kept it close early."

The game was indeed close early, as Buffalostan answered a three-yard TD run from William Williams with a TD of their own on a naked bootleg by QB Jay Lemaître to tie the score at seven late in the first quarter. Buffalostan later took the lead on a 42-yard field goal after the Buffalostani defense stiffened and stopped the Revolutionary Blutharian Peoples' Party (Marxism-Leninism, Mao Tse-Tung Thought) at midfield on their first drive of the second quarter. On the Revolutionary Blutharian Peoples' Party (Marxism-Leninism, Mao Tse-Tung Thought)'s next drive, Cain Wells thought he had Kyler Hayes open for a touchdown and fired, but the class enemy displayed its wiles as linebacker Sam Miller picked it off and broke through the traffic to run it back to the Blutharian 38 before being forced out of bounds by Norm Shade. The gift would result in another field goal for Buffalostan.

The Revolutionary Blutharian Peoples' Party (Marxism-Leninism, Mao Tse-Tung Thought) had yet another disheartening drive when it got the ball back, being stopped at three consecutive times at the Buffalostani three-yard line thanks to a phenomenal goal-line stand. The field goal unit trotted out to kick, but at the last minute Cain Wells called a timeout and the Party Center, hoping to break Buffalostan's momentum while still showing that they, and not the Revolutionary Blutharian Peoples' Party (Marxism-Leninism/Mao Tse-Tung Thought), were the true Vanguard Party, opted instead to run a play. But their arrogance got the better of them as William Williams was brought down inches short of the goal line.

The Revolutionary Blutharian Peoples' Party (Marxism-Leninism/Mao Tse-Tung Thought), meanwhile, took full advantage of the situation. Leaving just one man deep in coverage, they rushed ten hoping to overwhelm the defensive line and force a safety to get some of the momentum back. Almost right after the ball was snapped, no fewer than six Blutharians were in the backfield and all of them were right on top of Michihito Murakami as he took the handoff from Lemaître, scoring two points and narrowing the deficit to four. After the kick, the Revolutionary Blutharian Peoples' Party (Marxism-Leninism, Mao Tse-Tung Thought) had the ball back at its own thirty-nine yard line with thirty-eight seconds to go in the first half.

The Revolutionary Blutharian Peoples' Party (Marxism-Leninism, Mao Tse-Tung Thought) moved the ball with ease, but they were having trouble getting out of bounds and so used their last two timeouts in rapid succession. With just five seconds to go in the half, they found themselves at the Buffalostani 29; and down four, they decided to try once more to take the lead going into halftime. With tight coverage, Erwin Winters on the leftt side ran a hitch-and-go while Kyler Hayes ran a crossing route over the middle and Norm Shade was on a post. At first, neither of the two wideouts could get past the coverage; Winters's hitch could not quite shake Jack Chambers and it also drew Joe Hill, in an act of betrayal of the very same comrades who were fighting for the triumph of his own class, over to him just in case, while John Foster had given Shade a five-yard cushion, which was too much for Shade to beat. Wells saw Hayes over the middle, but he also saw that he had little chance of the touchdown. Still, with only three men running routes Wells had plenty of protection--and plenty of time. On a hope and a prayer, Wells pump-faked to Hayes hoping to draw the safety away from Winters.

Hill bit. Chambers was still covering Winters tightly, but there was enough of a hole for Wells to squeeze the football in to Winters's reliable basket. Wells zipped it over the left, and Winters snatched it out of the air and outran Chambers to the end zone for a touchdown, giving Bluth Corporation a 16-13 lead going into halftime.

After the half, the game settled down considerably. Buffalostan was finished scoring for the evening, and in fact would not advance beyond their own 47 the rest of the game. Bluth Corporation would not be overwhelming on offense, scoring only one more touchdown (an 18-yard pass from Wells to a wide-open Hayes against a blitz in the fourth quarter), but the Revolutionary Blutharian Peoples' Party (Marxism-Leninism/Mao Tse-Tung Thought) would force another safety, sacking Lemaître after he tripped over Jaxon Body's feet taking the snap and forcing a fumble late in the fourth quarter to enable the Revolutionary Blutharian Peoples' Party (Marxism-Leninism, Mao Tse-Tung Thought) to run out the clock.

SCORING SUMMARY
FIRST QUARTER:

• BLU: Williams 3-yard run (Shipley kick)
• BUF: Lemaître 2-yard run (Daniels kick)

SECOND QUARTER:

• BUF: Daniels 42-yard kick
• BUF: Daniels 27-yard kick
• BLU: Hunter -1 yard tackle of Murakami
• BLU: Wells 29-yard pass to Winters (Shipley kick)

THIRD QUARTER:

• BLU: West -3 yard tackle of Lemaître

FOURTH QUARTER:

• BLU: Wells 18-yard pass to Hayes (Shipley kick)

---

Cain Wells's post-game interview with sideline reporter Bob Dylan of the Newport Beach Sports Network
DYLAN: "Well, congratulations, Cain!"
WELLS: "Thanks, Bob--and by the way, isn't today the 24th? I hear it's your birthday, your seventieth--so happy birthday! Do your capitalist-imperialist masters have anything planned for their devoted toady?"
DYLAN: (awkwardly) "It is my birthday and yes, they're having a cake for me after the broadcast--thank you...I guess...So anyway, could you tell us a little more about that first touchdown--it looked like Erwin Winters had no chance of getting open there. How'd that play out?"
WELLS: "Yeah, Comrade Winters was double-covered there--we thought a hitch-and-go would shake the corner when he was playing that tight of coverage, but he was all over it. But protection was holding up really well, so I had plenty of time. I saw Comrade Hayes open down the middle, but we still wanted to try for the touchdown there before halftime so instead of launching I pump-faked to him. That took the safety's attention away from Comrade Winters just long enough for him to blow on by and get open, and from there it was an easy score, just pitch-and-catch."
DYLAN: "He's got great hands, doesn't he?"
WELLS: "Oh, yeah, he's got hands so soft--I think he--wait a minute, there's Comrade Houser, looks like he's got a gun under his arms? I'd better make sure he's not off to do something stupid like shoot his old lady because she was messin' 'round with another man--I can be right back if you want" (runs off) "HEY! JOE! Where you goin' with that gun in your hand?"
DYLAN: "Well, I suppose we'll wait and see if he comes back quickly...hmm...ok, he's coming back now. Everything alright, Cain?"
WELLS: "Yeah, it was just a cap gun, he was just going to make a bit of noise to celebrate. The linemen like to do that in the playoffs, but usually it's just party noisemakers. Anyway, what was I saying--yeah, Comrade Winters has some of the most reliable hands I've ever seen. I don't know if he soaks them in Vaseline at night or what, but I think if I threw a greased pig at him he'd be able to hold on to it."
DYLAN: "Now, you know that the sniveling Delaclavan baby-eaters beat Osarius in the early game. What do you think it's going to take to beat them?"
WELLS: "Well, I know they'll be ready--they'll know we're going to want some revenge after what happened last year. I mean, yeah, we beat them in a friendly, but that didn't really count, and I don't think either of us were trying too hard. I think maybe we're going to try and work out a truce with the Revolutionary Blutharian Peoples' Party (Marxism-Leninism/Mao Tse-Tung Thought) and work out a popular front strategy to defeat the fascists."
DYLAN: "Interesting...and how will that work, exactly?"
WELLS: "Well, from our side, it'd mean we'd just try to protect the ball and avoid a turnover when we're not in an absolutely desperate situation, and punt on fourth down if we have to instead of going for glory, trusting that the Revolutionary Blutharian Peoples' Party (Marxism-Leninism/Mao Tse-Tung Thought) will get the ball back for us. For them, it means focusing on making a solid stop first rather than getting too aggressive and going for the strip or interception at the cost of being out of position to make the tackle if it fails. There's a lot either side can do, really."
DYLAN: "I see. Well, thank you for the interview, and best of luck to you as you prepare for those sniveling Delaclavan baby-eaters!"
WELLS: "Thanks, Bob."

---

What the Bluth Corporation papers are saying about the upcoming game with the sniveling Delaclavan baby-eaters...

Balboa Bay Window

The sniveling Delaclavan baby-eaters' win against Osarius was close, but let's not assume that that means that Bluth Corporation will win in a blowout. The sniveling Delaclavan baby-eaters, after all, had to know that a rematch of last World Bowl's final between the top two teams in the world was almost certain, and they didn't want to tip their hand too much--or risk injury. Furthermore, they'll have the travel advantage as they will be able to stay in Nicksia while Bluth Corporation will have to travel all the way from Woodstock for the game. Nevertheless, this is a grudge match for Bluth Corporation. In a game between two teams that are as evenly matched as Bluth Corporation and the sniveling Delaclavan baby eaters, the team with more motivation wins. Look for Bluth Corporation to win in a shootout, 54-48.

Khlysty Post-Tribune

In the world championship final, sniveling Delaclavan baby-eating DE Sean Dale thoroughly embarrassed Blutharian tackle Joseph Houser, blowing him up for four sacks in front of the home crowd. Houser has put on a significant amount of muscle since then, however, while still retaining his fundamentals. On top of that, he has something to prove against Dale. The offensive line has only given up four sacks in eleven games so far, and we don't expect any sort of breakdown this week against the sniveling Delaclavan baby-eaters. Cain Wells should have plenty of time to throw; the question is will he have the same communications issues he had with his receivers earlier in the tournament? Over the last few games they've looked to be better in sync, and let's not forget that the loss to Carasatoga was almost entirely on the defense, which we're told has taken to calling itself the Revolutionary Blutharian Peoples' Party (Marxism-Leninism/Mao Tse-Tung Thought). Still, everyone's allowed one bad game, and we're glad the defense got theirs out of the way before the playoffs. Bluth Corporation wins on an overtime field goal, 32-29.

Alameche Daily Courier

Both sides of the ball have been playing well for the Bluth Corporation national team, but lately they haven't been playing as a single team--and it's cost them at a few key moments as they seem to be more interested in individual squad glory than team success. We're not sure why--perhaps it's their unfortunate recent choice of downtime activities that has led to a rift between the two--but they're going to have to get it together to win against the sniveling Delaclavan baby-eaters. Cain Wells said something about a "popular front against the fascists," and we say, "whatever it takes to get you playing as a team." But we're not sure it'll happen. Bluth Corporation will generally play well, but the quest for glory will get in the way of smart, strategic decision making at enough important junctures, costing them the game. 31-27 final, regrettably.

Farnsworth News

The sniveling Delaclavan baby-eaters coasted through a relatively weak qualifying group to get their playoff berth. We think their performance against Osarius more accurately represents their true strength. This isn't the same dominant sniveling Delaclavan baby-eating team that won the last World Bowl title and claimed the top spot in the world rankings we've seen in past tournaments. Their window has closed, while Bluth Corporation's is still wide-open. The sniveling Delaclavan baby-eaters may be able to keep up early, but they'll run out of steam in the second half against a Blutharian team hellbent on revenge. Bluth Corporation wins in a blowout, 48-21.

[F1-Insanity]

No news from home
Nothing, not even an acknowledgement of a 'dead' signal. Whatever the players tried, they could not reach anyone within F1-Insanity. Of course they had heard the rumours, supposedly the terrorist group 'F1-Sanity' had cut off all signals (be it electronic, digital, analog or anything else) to and from F1-Insanity.

There was something very sinister about it. Players had also talked with present F1-Insanity observers and football fans who equally could not reach anyone. What was going on? Of course, they did know what went on in the World Bowl, F1-Insanity defeated Rennidan 23-10 in the round of the last 16, and was now moving to the quarterfinals which would be a match against third seed Sarzonia, to be played at Joe Gibbs Stadium in a place called Woodstock.

Some players openly questioned whether there actually would be someone alive, since there was no news whatsoever after the government statements that they were going to crack down on terrorists. But such conspiracy were dismissed as 'silly talk from people who have been drinking the kool-aid' by Mulcahey Daily Dispatch reporter Jim Jones.

And from within F1-Insanity
According to the curfew rules, everyone has to be indoors by 8 PM at the latest, anyone found outside without permission would be summarily arrested and brought to justice. Members of the First Army Division, 'Personal Standard of Father Mulcahey', patrolled the government district of Mulcahey City. This day they had already arrested over a thousand people and turned them over to the MAFI (Mulcahey Agency For Intelligence). Also, a small helicopter that had entered the skies without permission had been shot down by the Air Force.

All travel without special authorization was banned. The border had been sealed by a ring of soldiers loyal to the dear leader of F1-Insanity, Father Mulcahey himself. The airspace was patrolled by the latest fighter superjets of the Air Force and the coastline had been made an impregnable fortress. It was quite clear, not even a mosquito was to enter or exit F1-Insanity without the authorities knowing about it.

And where were all the Bigtopian immigrants? No one had seen a Bigtopian for nearly a week now.

[Sarzonia]

Time to find out who the semifinalists will be!

RP cutoff for the quarterfinals!

[Qazox]

World Bowl Today

"Welcome to World Bowl Today, I'm your host Dan Cowher, joining me is Bill Sharpe and Sterling Marino. For most of tonight's game, the defenses held sway, but it was the Allamunnic States defense that came up with the big stop on 4th and 6 with just over 2 minutes to go. Thomas Erickson's for a first down was stopped inches short by Kyle McGregor, preserving a 15-10 win. After this gmae Qazox now has lost 5 of 6 to Allamunnic States. What are your grades for Qazox today?"

Sharpe: "C+ overall, but an A- for the defense. The defense held the Regulars to only 176 total yards, but the offense was all but stuffed on every play, as Qazox could only gain 148 yards."

Marino: "C+ as well, with an F for the offense. 2 for 16 on 3rd and 4th downs is not going to cut it at this level. When the only TD of the game comes off a blocked FG return, that means the defenses were good. If the Sharks had converted just 2 or 3 more 3rd downs, they might have won this game."

Cowher: "4 teams left, ASMV, Allamunnic States, Sarzonia and Bluth Corporation. Who win it all now?"

Marino: "Allamunnic State 34-23 over Bluth Corporation. They get 3rd 27-13 over ASMV."

Sharpe: "Sarzonia 28-Bluth Corporation 24, with ASMV knocking off Allamunnic States 21-17 to take 3rd."

Cowher: "That's all for today folks. For World Bowl Today, they're Bill Sharpe and Sterling Marino, and I'm Dan Cowher. Good night."

SCORING SUMMARY:
AMS: Demirici 42 yd FG. 0-3.
AMS: Demirici 47 yd FG. 0-6.
QZX: 58 yd blocked FG return for TD by Mark Prentice. Yawkey PAT good. 7-6.
AMS: Demirici 40 yd FG. 7-9.
AMS: Demirici 37 yd FG. 7-12.
QZX: Yawkey 40 yd FG. 10-12.
AMS: Demirici 48 yd FG. 10-15.

[Jimmer Fredette]

Jimmer Fredette Daily
Sports
By:John Jackson

Well,John Jackson was wrong about two things in the quarterfinals.Qazox and Allamunic States was a defensive battle and Bluth Corporation won by 6,not 5.MORE PREDICTIONS!


(5) Bluth Corporation v. (8) Andossa Se Mitrin Vega

Well,the defending champs,Delaclava,are out because of Bluth Corporation.This might be the year for them.I think Bluth Corporattion wins easily.Much different than the close game last time.
Bluth in a blowout.

(2) Allamunnic States v. (3) Sarzonia

Now for the big game.Allamunnic States has the better offense by far.Sarzonia has the better defense by far.This game for sure will come down to that match up.I think Sarzonia,with an upset,beats Allamunnic States.
Sarzonia by no more than seven.

John Jackson has his final.It's Sarzonia vs. Bluth Corporaion.It sure would be a good one.Now will it come out that way or will some upsets or different results happen?Find out on national television.

[Sarzonia]

When last we saw the Sarzonian national gridball team facing F1-Insanity, the Stars were putting a whipping on the Mulcaheys, a beatdown that was one for the ages.

The result of the match between the Stars and the now-Tirefitters wasn't nearly as dominating as the shellacking the Stars handed out previously, but it was still convincing. Sarzonia sent the Tirefitters back to their turmoil-laden land with a 24-3 victory that saw the Stars qualify for the semifinals for the first time since their World Bowl XI triumph.

Sarzonia got a tour de force performance from quarterback Gavin Davis, who threw for 321 yards and three touchdowns, including a World Bowl record-tying 99-yard touchdown pass to Shaquice Allen. Davis admitted Allen should get most of the credit since he juked and faked and then sprinted the majority of the way after a quick dump into the flat. However, the score, which extended Sarzonia's lead to 10-0, really took the air out of F1-Insanity's tires.

"We don't like [F1-Insanity] at all," Davis said. "Any time we can put the wood to them, we take advantage of it."

Davis also hit wide receiver Dave Coles for a 31-yard touchdown pass and H-Back Clark Hennessy for a 14-yard scoring strike. Allen ran for 92 yards on 22 carries, with 70 of his yards coming in the last 20 minutes of the match.

"The Tirefitters were really primed to stop our run game," said coach Gregg Williams. "We had to take it to the air against them. But by the last five minutes of the third quarter and for the entire fourth, we were able to impose our will on them."

Fortunately for military installments across the country, They Who Shall Not Be Named will not be their semifinal opponents. Allamunnic States defeated the Sharks in a 15-10 encounter and will face the Stars at their home grounds, Joe Gibbs Stadium in Woodstock.

With defending runners up and previous World Bowl hosts Bluth Corporation defeating world champion Delaclava, Mike Sarzo Stadium in Nicksia will no longer be a World Bowl venue, and Bluth Corporation will travel to Portland's Iron Bowl to face Andossa Se Mitrin Vega, who finally struck midnight for the Cinderfella Hickory Creek with a 19-14 triumph.

Davis wouldn't comment on the defeat of They Who Shall Not Be Named, but that didn't stop Williams.

"I'm glad to see them go," he said. "I'll just leave it at that."

[Andossa Se Mitrin Vega]

And Then There Were Four

Hickory Creek had a plan as they came into their quarterfinal matchup with our Sea Dragons - Play solid defense and do not turn the ball over. The plan almost worked as ASMV would require a last second miracle to win the game and move on in the worst offensive output of the season for the boys in yellow.

If you had told anyone here that the Sea Dragons would have just 12 points on the board as the end of the game drew near, we would have laughed until our sides slpit open. But that is just how it went down, 4 Waquirii field goals (48,37,49,58) were needed to just kep the boys in it as Hickory Creek controlled the game in almost constant dime coverage. The three linemen were enough to stifle Stonegeis and it seemed Hickory Creek would pull yet another upset.

But ASMV has become a contender in the World Bowl through experience - and it was that experience that came through in the end to lift the Sea Dragons to victory.

Here’s the call…

“Ju’Tok’untu under center. Looks left. Trips receivers to the right. Cabl’et alone on the left. Stonengeis the lone set back. Beorii motions left. There’s the snap…

The handoff to Stonengeis pulls left… The defense was waiting for this… handoff to Cabl’et…it’s a reverse!….

The linebackers didn’t bite on the play fake…Cabl’et nearly out of room… the toss back to Ju’Tok’untu…Stonengeis is open in the flat…

The ‘Demon Dwarf’ has the ball with one man to beat… Stonengeis can’t get away… A monster block from Beorii out of nowhere!… Stonengeis rumbles down the left sideline…No defenders in sight…clock hits zero…

And He’s IN!… Touchdown Sea Dragons! Sea Dragons Win! Sea Dragons Win!”

And with the win, the Sea Dragons have earned a date with powerhouse Bluth Corporation. Not one single media source is predicting an ASMV win in this one, not even us. One thing is certain though, if the Sea Dragons want to make the jump from contender to legitimate threat., this is a game that we must win. We won a Baptism of Iron Championship here is Sarzonia. It would be fitting if we could win a World Bowl here as well.

[The Fanboyists]

Excerpt from Hit the Hole: Memories from a Running Back, by Haanryk Stahlburg

Man, playing Qazox. Never know what you're gonna see when you put us against them.

Allamunnic kickers don't get called up too often, except for PAT's and kick-offs. It's just not what we do. Nobody kicks field goals in this country, generally speaking, and I think Coach hates the idea.

And at Phillipa's age, most kickers have had their careers yanked out from under them. When you rely on one part of your body, injuries can do worse things to your future than they can to other players. I've taken a few shots in my time, but it's all in a days work for a running back. You don't think about that too much. But being called on to kick five field goals isn't something that happens often to anyone, and I figure most people thought I wouldn't be up to it, an 'old lady' like her. Especially not a kicker that gets hit as often as she does.

But she ain't the longest-serving Allamunnic kicker for nothing. Pegged 'em, all five of 'em. Nice an' easy. Not one of 'em was even in doubt. Damn if Phillipa isn't cool under pressure; she won us the game, from the points end of things.

It wasn't me, that's for sure. I got one carry before my knee went out from under me. I mean, y'all probably saw the hit. First offensive play of the game from us, and that lineman, Boise I think it was, hit me, real solid. It was a good tackle, and I probably shouldna been playing on that knee, cause it just went *pop*, and down I went. It really, really, really hurt. So the trainer says I'm probably not playing any more this year, and he said something about it maybe being bad enough that I might hafta call it a career. I hope not. Game's my life, and I'm only thirty-one. Should have like five more years left in me.

If anyone tells you that playing and losing is the worst thing ever, they've ever never stood on the sideline for a loss, or they're lyin'. We won this, but it was a nail-biter, and having to sit there and just watch was about as close to torture as I ever felt. Just sittin' on the bench, powerless. Couldn't do a damn thing.

Gotta hand it to Ole, Myra and Udun, though. They ran hard, and gave Phila a good set up on two of those field goals, and damn near got us a touchdown. Qazox was playing some good defense, though, and Maark kept getting hit in the backfield. Got sacked like six times, and the o-line was playing bad, either. A couple other tackles for losses kept us from ever finding the endzone. Our defense did almost as well, although one special-teams touchdown from Qazox got through.

It was enough, though, since we got the win. Udun got the start at running back for the next game, where we were going to face Sarzonia. Other news sources had pegged us as the supposed 'favorites' who would get upset. Wrong approach, boys; we played at our best when we were considered underdogs, and predicting our defeat was always a wonderful way to set youself up for disappointment.

Which led us into our big game, the one that could have seen us through to the World Bowl finals for the first time ever. All we needed was to take out one of the world's elite programs, first.

[Bluth Corporation]

The atmosphere at Mike Sarzo Stadium was real savage-like as Bluth Corporation and the sniveling Delaclavan baby-eaters collided in the World Bowl XIV Quarterfinals. For the Blutharians, the game was a grudge match as they looked to avenge their loss in the World Bowl XIII game before their home crowd. It was everything the players and fans alike expected it to be, with the two teams playing to a stalemate all game long before a flurry of scoring was unleashed in the game's final quarter culminating with an 82-yard Hail Mary from Cain Wells as time expired to end it. In the process, a lineman would catch a pass thrown by a kicker, a quarterback would catch his own pass for a touchdown, and a defensive struggle would transform into a 31-point fourth quarter. It was the game everyone had hoped it would be.

Things began slowly, with the only scoring of the first quarter coming thanks to Devin Shipley's right foot after a promising Bluth Corporation drive that began at their own 18 ended after a series of uncharacteristic drops--and near-interceptions--in the end zone once the drive progressed to the sniveling Delaclavan baby-eaters' ten yard line. "There was a lot of traffic there, a lot of big bodies; I think we were more worried about the big hit we knew was coming and it distracted us from securing the ball," said Kyler Hayes after the game. "Big-game jitters and all that, you know--because it didn't happen the rest of the game, so we got it out of the way early." On fourth down, many of the receivers lobbied to give it one more try, but Cain Wells was adamant about keeping to the Popular Front strategy. "I told the guys, hey, you know, we can't beat the fascists alone. Let's take a field goal--it's still points, after all--and trust that the Revolutionary Blutharian Peoples' Party (Marxism-Leninism/Mao Tse-Tung Thought) can do its job against the sniveling Delaclavan baby-eating offense," Wells said at his post-game press conference. "I mean, I know there's a lot of hard feelings there--but right now, we're both facing an existential threat and we've got to do whatever it takes to get past it."

The Revolutionary Blutharian Peoples' Party (Marxism-Leninism/Mao Tse-Tung Thought) indeed held up fairly well against the fascist sniveling Delaclavan baby-eating onslaught throughout most of the game. Against such a high-powered offense, they certainly weren't expecting a shutout; but through the first three quarters, they only gave up ten points. The first seven points came in dramatic style, thanks to a botched field goal attempt at the six-yard line. Sniveling Delaclavan baby-eating long snapper Darius Dugmore snapped the ball too high, and it flew over Kent Young's head and bounced off Vlady Macalahov. Macalahov, unsure of what to do, picked the ball up off the bounce and was fortunate that he was able to control it. Seeing several large men converging on him, Macalahov panicked and threw the ball downfield. Cole Harding, meanwhile, was turning around to help protect Macalahov when he saw him launch the ball. Harding realized that he was actually an eligible receiver, having lined up on the end of the formation and wearing an eligible number, and moved to catch the ball. He succeeded, but just barely. But by this time, the Blutharian special teams unit had started converging in his direction. Harding made it all the way to just inside the three-yard line when he felt a tug around his ankles. Knowing he was going down, Harding stretched his arm out and by the time his knees hit, the nose of the ball had crossed the goal line for a touchdown.

The game's next score was much more conventional, as Cain Wells went off a play-action fake to find Kyler Hayes for a routine 18-yard passing touchdown. "Most people realize you can't cover Comrade Hayes with a linebacker, so the sniveling Delaclavan baby-eaters had been putting a safety on him instead," explained Wells. "But this time, we had Comrade Hayes lined up in tight, and we were planning to keep him in to block, and the safety that had been covering him showed blitz. So I audibled him into a route--it was a gamble, but we had Comrade Williams in to pick up the blitzer, and it was only second down--and he was right there, wide-open, no trouble getting into the end zone." With the touchdown and extra point, the Revolutionary Blutharian Peoples' Party (Marxism-Leninism, Mao Tse-Tung Thought) made the score 10-7 going into halftime.

After the break, the third quarter offered a glimpse of the wild finish to the game. Scoring was still relatively calm, but there were still some exciting moments. The first came when sniveling Delaclavan baby-eating quarterback Billy Branten, on a Statue of Liberty play, decided at the last moment to keep the ball and run upfield with it himself. The Revolutionary Blutharian Peoples' Party (Marxism-Leninism/Mao Tse-Tung Thought), in accordance with the Popular Front strategy, wasn't rushing him as aggressively as they might otherwise have to make sure that they could get a good solid stop once the pass was caught, which left plenty of room for Branten up the middle. But as the secondary saw what was happening and converged on him, Branten decided to try and helicopter over the Blutharians to pick up a few extra yards. He got the yards, except he didn't come down with the ball--Charles Woodruff knocked it out of Branten's hand as he spun through the air. Kyle Smith, in the game to spell Trey Reidford, fell on it but was never touched--a couple of sniveling Delaclavan baby-eating linemen ran at him but when they saw he was on the ground forgot Smith could still get up and run with it if he was never touched. After a couple of seconds on the ground, hearing no whistle, Smith realized that himself and took off downfield.

Of course, being a defensive tackle Smith wasn't exactly fleet-footed, and by the time he got to the sniveling Delaclavan baby-eating 38, sniveling Delaclavan baby-eating wide receivers Andy Swarzreng and Tanner Hauser had caught up with him. But Smith's one advantage was his size--he was a difficult guy for a couple of lean, swift wideouts like Swarzreng and Hauser to bring down! The sniveling Delaclavan baby-eaters tried, and were able to slow him down a bit, but had no luck getting him onto the ground. Then Hauser noted he was holding the ball away from his body--again, being a lineman, Smith wasn't really trained in how to handle the ball--and reached in for the strip. The ball popped up out of Smith's hand and onto the ground, where Swarzreng instinctively fell on it. Before he could get up, Smith was on top of him--but by that time the damage was done. While they had been pushed back forty yards, the sniveling Delaclavan baby-eaters at least had the ball back, and because of the multiple changes of possession they had first-and-ten to boot. The sniveling Delaclavan baby-eaters resumed their march downfield and managed to get a 29-yard field goal out of the bargain to tie the score at 10.

The tie game didn't last long, as the Revolutionary Blutharian Peoples' Party (Marxism-Leninism, Mao Tse-Tung Thought) retook the lead thanks to a seventeen-yard touchdown run from Richard Anthis. "I could hear the death rattles of the capitalist system as the class enemy tried to bring the representative of the poor and lower-middle peasants down but just couldn't finish the job," said Anthis. "I really think that Comrade Wells's Popular Front strategy is going to defeat not just fascism but the entire capitalist-imperialist world system--I'm so excited!" With the score 17-10 in favor of Bluth Corporation, the stage was set for an epic fourth quarter.

The sniveling Delaclavan baby-eaters put together a long drive that straddled the end of the third and first few minutes of the fourth quarter to make the score 17-16. Realizing that at this stage of such a closely-matched game every pointed counted, the sniveling Delaclavan baby-eaters opted to try for two. "They could have tied it up, but I think they realized how desperate the fascist position was," said Jared Sensmeier. "They figured it was time for a last-ditch effort, so they held nothing back." The two-point try succeeded, and the sniveling Delaclavan baby-eaters held an 18-17 lead. This forced the Revolutionary Blutharian Peoples' Party (Marxism-Leninism, Mao Tse-Tung Thought) to try for two on their ensuing touchdown, lest the sniveling Delaclavan baby-eaters be able to hold the lead from then on out just with touchdowns and extra points. But the touchdown would be no easy matter. The sniveling Delaclavan baby-eating defense was in full bend-but-don't-break mode, and the Blutharian drive ate up eight of the twelve minutes remaining on the clock. That it ended in a touchdown at all was something of a miracle: at the six-yard line, Cain Wells lobbed the ball forward, but was prevented from stepping into his throw by pass-rusher Christian Coveney pulling on the back of his jersey. As soon as the ball was released, Coveney released his hold on Wells's jersey to avoid a penalty, thus freeing Wells for what happened next.

Because of the weak throw, sniveling Delaclavan baby-eating tackle Scott Finley was able to get a hand on the ball to deflect it upwards and to his right. Wells, realizing that it was third down and that they absolutely had to have a touchdown here because they might not have time to come downfield again if they didn't, moved towards the ball to try and catch it and at least get some gain. But when he caught the ball in stride, he saw that the only thing between his agile body and the end zone was the big man Finley. With six yards to go, Wells figured it was worth it to try--so he took two steps towards the end zone, leapt to his left to avoid Finley, and took four more steps into the end zone. After a couple of beats, he realized what he had done: Holy crap, I've just thrown a touchdown pass to myself!.

The comparatively few Blutharians in attendance were delighted at what they had just seen, and they made it known with a roar that drowned out the tens of thousands of groans from the sniveling Delaclavan baby-eaters in the stands who had come to cheer on their team and the many, many more Sarzonians who were with them. But even the Revolutionary Blutharian Peoples' Party (Marxism-Leninism/Mao Tse-Tung Thought) was on the sidelines celebrating what the Revisionists had just pulled off. The two-point try succeeded, and as Wells trotted off the field Chaz Livermore of the Revolutionary Blutharian Peoples' Party (Marxism-Leninism/Mao Tse-Tung Thought) grinned at him, slapped his back, and said, "Way to go, Revisionist!"

Wells just responded, "Thanks a lot, Splitter--now go get 'em yourself!"

With four minutes left, however, the sniveling Delaclavan baby-eaters themselves had to score quickly in order to retake the lead--and had to leave little time for the Blutharians as well. They took full advantage of a spectacular return on the kickoff out to the Bluth Corporation 43, and while the Revolutionary Blutharian Peoples' Party (Marxism-Leninism/Mao Tse-Tung Thought) managed to force a 3rd-and-12 at the 16, the short field made all the difference as Andy Swarzreng had just enough room carry the football across the goal line in front of the Blutharian prevent defense before Chaz Livermore had time to move up to make the tackle. Down one, the sniveling Delaclavan baby-eaters attempted a two-point try to retake the lead and succeeded, giving them a one-point lead with six seconds left.

Those six seconds put the sniveling Delaclavan baby-eaters in a quandary. They could onside-kick and end the game right there, but if they didn't recover then they would give the Revolutionary Blutharian Peoples' Party (Marxism-Leninism, Mao Tse-Tung Thought) two shots at the end zone with a short field. A regular kickoff, on the other hand, gave the Blutharians another chance, but on a long field and, because of the long field, only one real shot at the end zone. After weighing the alternatives, they chose to kick deep. Macalahov didn't get off his best kick, and Donald Deputy fair-caught the ball at the Bluth Corporation 18. The play call once the Revolutionary Blutharian Peoples' Party (Marxism-Leninism, Mao Tse-Tung Thought) took the field was a foregone conclusion, of course; the only question was, would they pull it off?

The whistle blew. Wells called for the snap in shotgun, and then dropped back three steps as he scanned his receivers downfield. He had just his linemen to block, but then the sniveling Delaclavan baby-eaters were only rushing five so they were all accounted for. Kurt Wessley was being covered by a linebacker, and he was running a route so short that his purpose was more to keep a coverage man from going deep rather than to actually be a viable target. Jared Meadows and Thaddeus Wilkinson were both running fly routes, but Meadows was being covered well by Sonny DuBois while Wilkinson had drawn Dan Todd over to help cover him after Nate Candles's ten-yard cushion proved to be insufficient; still, Candles was close enough--and now gaining--so that Wilkinson was effectively bracketed out. Norm Shade, on a post route, was open forty yards downfield, but he was still beneath the strong safety. Erwin Winters, old reliable, was the best bet: he had a full stride on Orville Hoover, and was fast and agile enough that it was doubtful that Rod Millard would be able to get the angle on him to stop him. With Winters running along the sideline, Wells launched a high, arcing rocket his way. It was a hair off target--understandable, that far downfield--and Winters had to engage in a bit of acrobatics to keep from going out of bounds, as by the time the ball got to him time had already expired. But he leaned over and caught it and managed to stay upright, albeit allowing Hoover to close a bit on him in the process. But Winters soon enough regained his balance, and streaked the rest of the way downfield for the touchdown to make the score 31-26. The ensuing extra point--which was not actually needed but nevertheless required--made the margin six, and then the celebration began. Vengeance had been won.

SCORING SUMMARY
FIRST QUARTER:

• BLU: Shipley 27-yard kick

SECOND QUARTER:

• SDBE: Macalahov 6-yard pass to Harding (Macalahov kick)
• BLU: Wells 18-yard pass to Hayes (Shipley kick)

THIRD QUARTER:

• SDBE: Macalahov 29-yard kick
• BLU: Anthis 17-yard run (Shipley kick)

FOURTH QUARTER:

• SDBE: Fryman 38-yard run (Branten pass to Wynter)
• BLU: Wells 6-yard pass to Wells (Williams run)
• SDBE: Branten 16-yard pass to Swarzreng (Branten pass to Swarzreng)
• BLU: Wells 82-yard pass to Winters (Shipley kick)

OOC: I know that the player who throws the pass is usually not an eligible receiver, but once the ball is touched in flight everyone on the field immediately becomes eligible; thus Cain Wells can catch his own pass if it's deflected in flight. Also, Delaclava, I took a wild guess as to who your long snapper and field-goal holder are, and took advantage of the fact that Cole Harding wears #81.

[Sarzonia]

A little later than scheduled, here's the RP cutoff for the semifinals!

Find out who will appear in the final and who will be relegated to the Bronze Bowl!

[Delaclava]

Actually, I'm right here - no worries. RP cutoff for the Allamunnic States-Sarzonia semifinal!

[Jimmer Fredette]

Jimmer Fredette Daily
Sports
By:John Jackson

John Jackson still hasn't missed a prediction yet.He's six for six looking to go eight for eight.It has been and odd playoffs with sixteen beating one,eight seed making the final four.The former champ losing to the former runner-up in the quarter finals.We expect much more between the finals.Predictions:

3rd Place:

(2) Allamunnic States v. (8) Andossa Se Mitrin Vega

This game should be one of the less competitive 3rd place games in a while.Neither hard a tough group,but Allamunnic States dominated in their group and Andossa Se Mitrin Vega had a tough time in their group.
Allamunnic States in a semi-blowout

CHAMPIONSHIP!:

(3) Sarzonia v. (5) Bluth Corporation

In this game,each team lost two games,Bluth Corporation is offensive,Sarzonia is defensive.Sarzonia had trouble winning the group over Osarius,but dominated the rest of the group.Bluth Corporation dominated the whole group,but has a point deferential about 40 points less than Sarzonia.This is a toss-up game,in a rematch of World Bowl X,Bluth Corporation won their only championship.The next year Sarzonia won their only title.This year will have the second team ever to win multiple titles behind Dancougar.It will be a classic.
Bluth Corporation wins on the final play.

[Sarzonia]

Since Sarzonia are playing in the final and Delaclava will scorinate said final, tonight is my last night of scorination for the World Bowl.

RP cutoff for the Bronze Bowl! The third place team is ...

[Bluth Corporation]

After Bluth Corporation defeated the sniveling Delaclavan baby-eaters in one of the most wild and unpredictable playoff games in recent memory, it was perhaps to be expected that their semifinal contest with Andossa Se Mitrin Vega would be tamer. And indeed it was tamer--MUCH tamer: a 13-9 decision that was always close, but nevertheless unexciting. It was certainly a cleanly-played game, with no turnovers for either team and only five penalties the entire game, but neither side was able to produce much on the offensive side as scoring was limited to five middle-to-long field goals and a single touchdown.

As Christopher Taylor kicked off to Andossa Se Mitrin Vega to start the game, the Blutharian players perhaps had an inkling of what was to come. "Our popular front strategy against Delaclava worked, of course, but it was just one battle in the broader class war," said reserve safety Wesley Ice after the game. "We knew that while the fascists would be licking their wounds, we would too--it was going to be a fairly even contest throughout, and we would have to rely on our revolutionary vigilance to see us through." OT Stephen Pleiss was much more blunt: "We were just worn out, that's all there is to it." And they certainly looked like it on the field: the receivers weren't getting the separation they usually did, the running backs weren't exploding through the holes that the line opened, the linebackers weren't rushing their gaps with their usual aplomb.

But despite all this, Andossa Se Mitrin Vega gave a rather lackluster offensive performance themselves, and so with the win Bluth Corporation finds itself in the World Bowl finals for the second year in a row, and the third time in the last five years. "I'm sure the Sarzonians are chomping at the bit for revenge after what we did five years ago," remarked tight end Cliff Rodgers at the post-game press conference. "But ever since Dancougar suddenly disappeared from the face of the earth shortly after we won our title there, it's been our mission to become the only team since to win multiple titles. And after our embarassment in front of our own fans last year, we're not going to let Sarzonia have the satisfaction in front of theirs."

SCORING SUMMARY
FIRST QUARTER:

• AMV: Waquirii 47-yard kick

SECOND QUARTER:

• AMV: Waquirii 33-yard kick
• BLU: Shipley 29-yard kick

THIRD QUARTER:

• AMV: Waquirii 36-yard kick
• BLU: Wells 8-yard pass to Anthis (Shipley kick)

FOURTH QUARTER:

• BLU: Shipley 42-yard kick

---

The Revolutionary Blutharian Peoples' Party (Marxism-Leninism, Mao Tse-Tung Thought) and the Revolutionary Blutharian Peoples' Party (Marxism-Leninism/Mao Tse-Tung Thought) found themselves faced with an unforeseen emergency. The government of Sarzonia had just announced that the Sarzonian military would be used to escort them to the stadium for their World Bowl championship game against the home team, but the Blutharians feared that the government's true intentions were to arrest them, or at least prevent them from actually getting to the stadium. Sensing danger, both parties agreed to hold a joint session to address the issue.

In a gracious show of Popular Front unity, Cain Wells allowed Chaz Livermore to open the meeting. He addressed the crowd gathered before the dais: "Comrades united in the global struggle against fascism! Our rivalry with the sniveling Delaclavan baby-eaters has inadvertently provided the capitalist Sarzonian state with a pretext for unleashing their military against us--they claim it is for our own protection, but are here because we suspect that their true intentions are more sinister! Throughout this tournament, we have seen how devious and disingenuous the class enemy can be--and we know that while the contradictions inherent in capitalism will always have the final say, they can do a great deal of damage to the representatives of the workers and poor and lower-middle peasants in the meantime! We must prepare resistance at once!"

There were cheers from the crowd, eventually dying down into murmurs as members of both parties considered the matter. After a bit, Kenneth Lauley meekly spoke up: "Perhaps...maybe...we should consider toning down our anti-Delaclav rhetoric? I mean, it's essentially chauvinistic, and we are internationalists, right?"

Above the chorus of boos, George Canaan shot back: "We attack them because they have chosen to deserve those attacks!" Stephen Pleiss added, "Those who are truly aligned with the interests of the working class and poor and lower-middle peasants are free to renounce their national identity at any time! But those who have chosen a national consciousness over a class consciousness must always be denounced!"

Wesley Ice, however, spoke up in support of fellow Revolutionary Blutharian Peoples' Party (Marxism-Leninism/Mao Tse-Tung Thought) member Lauley. "Disagree if you must, but why the attacks against Comrade Lauley? I mean, you'd think we're the Revolutionarly Blutharian Popular Party (Marxism-Leninism-Mao Tse-Tung Thought)!" This got a bit of laughter, and Ice continued: "Perhaps the only reason they hold on to a national consciousness is because they have not yet been educated to a revolutionary class consciousness! We can't blame them for that! I mean, this is why we split from you revisionists, remember?"

At the mention of the word "revisionists," however, the laughter immediately turned into shouts of indignation, and more. A few men lifted chairs above their heads, preparing to use them as weapons. Livermore and Wells, fearing that their Popular Front might disintegrate before their eyes, begged everyone in the hall to calm down and use reason. Order was only restored when Livermore forcefully "suggested" that fellow partisan Ice might come up to the dais and perform an immediate self-criticism over his unfortunate choice of language. Ice perhaps recognized his mistake and his culpability, as he came up to the microphone and acknowledged his error. The immediate furor died down, though the tension remained in the room as discussion of the issue was continued, with Lauley's proposal tacitly removed from any further consideration.

Despite the tension, a plan eventually emerged as the meeting continued without further incident. It was decided that their first goal would be to subvert the planned "escort" altogether, sneaking out of their hotel earlier than expected to arrive at the stadium on their own. Once this was done, they would leave the hotel grounds and travel as small groups, without wearing any identifying apparel, and arrive at the stadium separately before forcing their way in to their locker room should it prove necessary. If anyone should be caught along the way, their instructions were to taunt their captors hoping to provoke some sort of attack, which would at least have excellent propaganda value. Everyone in the room knew the importance of this moment: with a chance to make history, becoming the first team since the now-void Dancougar team to win multiple titles--and denying Sarzonia the chance at revenge to boot--they could not afford to be taken hostage. Revolutionary vigilance and maintaining the Popular Front was now more important than ever.

With the decision made, the parties separated and members went to their separate hotel rooms. Everything now hinged upon absolute secrecy. Knowing the stakes, no one dared sleep the night before the game--an alarm in the middle of the night might tip the Sarzonians off, and they could not afford to miss their scheduled escape time. Instead, the Blutharians were busy lashing together improvised ropes out of towels, bedsheets, and whatever else they could scrounge up so they could climb down from their fifth-story balconies. When the appointed time came, thirty hotel balconies opened almost in unison and large, black-clad men began shimmying down to the ground below. Within minutes, pods of three or four men had scattered in all directions and were headed through the streets of Woodstock, hoping their maps were good enough that they would be able to find the stadium in time.

[Sarzonia]

Sarzonia's one-touchdown lead over Allamunnic States was looking more and more tenuous as the higher seed, wearing their home kits despite a distinct difference in crowd support, were marching down the field.

Allamunnic States got into the Sarzonian red zone, but that's when Erik Vasquez decided enough was enough. He forced and recovered a critical fumble with 6:18 left in the fourth quarter and it sent out veteran quarterback Gavin Davis with one thought in mind: Preserve the lead and make sure the Stars remained in Woodstock.

There was one problem: Shaquice Allen had only rushed for 61 yards on 23 carries to that point, and that meant either he would have to step up and have a great drive or Davis would have to play ball control with his passing game. Davis looked at Allen, and Allen knew what Davis expected.

Allen oblighed his quarterback's unspoken request and ran 10 times during that 12-play drive, rushing for 80 yards of the 91 the team would eventually get. The drive stalled out at the 2, but Davis knew the goal was to keep Allamunnic States from having time for a patient drive of their own. He handed the ball off to Allen on fourth and goal, and he was stopped at the one with 43 seconds left.

The nearly six minutes the Stars offence took off the clock was just what the Stars defence needed. Instead of struggling for air, it was raring to go. The defence came out and Stephan Christenson fired off the line of scrimmage, pushing left tackle Waaltar Stroenheim back into the backfield as he made a beeline for quarterback Maarkus Daalhulm. Daalhulm felt the pressure and stepped up in the pocket, only to find himself in the arms of middle linebacker Tim Bates. The next sight he saw was Delaclav referee Alex Albright raising his arms in the air and joining his hands above his head. Safety.

That meant Allamunnic States had to launch a free kick to the Sarzonians. From there, there was only one play from scrimmage: A Gavin Davis kneeldown. Sarzonia prevailed 29-20, ensuring that they would stay at Joe Gibbs Stadium for the final. Their "reward" was a rematch of the World Bowl X final against Bluth Corporation. The teams had met once before with Sarzonia winning, but the World Bowl trophy went to Bluth Corporation before Sarzonia went undefeated through World Bowl XI and won in Catherina.

Now, Sarzonia had an opportunity to win on its home field, something that previous World Bowl hosts Bluth Corporation (the previous edition) and Delaclava (World Bowl XI) failed to do. They also had additional motivation: Revenge. Much was made of the revenge factor between Bluth Corporation and Delaclava since the Phoenixes defeated Bluth Corporation in the World Bowl XII final and the brutish Marxist savages referred to the people of Delaclava as "sniveling Delaclavan baby eaters."

Thus, the Stars have two reasons to not like Bluth Corporation very much.

"The gridball reasons are certainly plenty to motivate us," Stars coach Gregg Williams said. "The fact that they continue to insult Delaclavs definitely does not help their cause."

In fact, military installments previously activated in the event They Who Shall Not Be Named were to make a shock run through to the semifinals or the finals were ordered not to stand down. Instead of guarding the team representing Sarzonia's now most hated enemy with the demise of Doomingsland, they would instead guard a motley collection of revolutionaries and gridballers from the ire of a Sarzonian populace who have grown more and more tired of the insults lobbed at their neighbours and closest friends.

"We have our orders," Lt. Col. Lance Barkley said tersely when asked how he felt about being ordered to protect Bluth Corporation and its supporters from the Sarzonian populace. He refused to say anything more than that. The implication was quite clear: He'd have loved to have been among the throng landing haymakers at choice Blutharians, but the orders came directly from Lieutenant President Nicole Lewis. And that meant it had the force of law since only President Jay Tyler was higher in the executive branch than she was.

They had their orders, but it didn't mean they had to like it. When a reporter pointed out that at least they weren't protecting They Who Shall Not Be Named, a corporal snorted.

"Small comfort," she said.

As for the players themselves, Davis said the team would be ready for their close up in front of not only 70,000-plus Sarzonian supporters (most of whom snapped up tickets before more than a small collection of Blutharians could buy tickets), but the gridball playing world.

"We have a chance to make some history here," he said. "We don't wanna blow it."

[Delaclava]

RP cutoff! Who is the winner of the 14th World Bowl?

Congrats to...

[Sarzonia]

Four World Bowls ago, quarterback Gavin Davis ignored the sidelines in a determined effort to throw the championship-winning touchdown pass. His scoring strike flipped the result from agony to ecstasy for the Stars and gave Sarzonia the World Bowl XI title.

This time, however, he was a helpless observer on the sidelines. His Stars had battled back after allowing Bluth Corporation to take a commanding halftime lead, and after allowing a safety when left tackle Tim Lacker was penalised for holding in the end zone.

He watched as kicker Adam Novak jogged out toward the centre of the pitch. Novak was being called on to hit a 51-yard field goal with Sarzonia trailing by two and three seconds left on the clock. Davis had to throw his last pass away to avoid a sack that would have taken the Stars out of field goal range. Even then, the Stars were on the outer edges of Novak's range.

Much of the talk from the Bluth Corporation camp had centred on their revolution. However, this revolution was being televised on sets throughout the gridball world. This revolution saw Davis throw two touchdown passes, one to wide receiver Dave Coles and one to running back Shaquice Allen. It also saw Novak hit a 32-yard field goal that drew the score level with eight minutes remaining.

Now, however, Novak was making the lonely run out to attempt a championship-winning field goal. Davis had no way of knowing the mindset of his kicker. Was he thinking about the match-winning field goal against the now-defunct nation of Vephrall? Was he thinking of revenge against Bluth Corporation for the World Bowl X defeat?

Novak was actually not thinking of any of the above.

Those Bluth Corporation guys are in for a rude surprise, he thought. What the Blutharans didn't realise was that the Sarzonian military was already mobilised along with Woodstock's police and monitoring activity in and around the Blutharan hotel. When the team began their escape plans, they sprung into action. Police and military aircraft scanned the ground along with satellites pinpointing the locations of each player.

Win or lose, Bluth Corporation's ability to either celebrate their second world championship or commiserate their defeat would be severely curtailed. Novak knew about it because his younger brother was a lieutenant in the Woodstock Police. He looked down at punter and holder Chaz Hunter and smiled, then raised his right arm and slid it, sizing up the field goal.

Play-by-play announcer Ted Harrison provided the call:

"The field goal attempt is from 51 yards. Novak has hit match-winning field goals before, but nothing like this.

"Novak lines it up. This is for the win. And time out! Bluth Corporation calls time out."

Colour analyist Jumbo Fisher chimed in.

"Classic freeze the kicker right there. Bluth Corporation had two timeouts left and they decided to use one to freeze Novak."

Harrison then came back in as the tension began to build in Joe Gibbs Stadium.

"Novak again lines up the kick. He stands ready. Here's the snap. The hold is good, and the kick is on it's way, and ... IT'S GOOD! IT'S GOOD! IT'S GOOD! ADAM NOVAK HAS JUST WON WORLD BOWL XIV FOR THE STARS!"

Novak cooly watched the field goal sail through the night air right down Broadway. The ball sailed through the uprights as high as some extra points, only just coming down as it churned well over the crossbar. When he saw the two officials beneath the goalposts raise their arms to signify the field goal was good, he raised both of his in celebration. He was soon joined by the gladiators who fought the full 60 minutes for that one shining moment by Novak. Scores of people from the Stars sidelines streamed onto the pitch as fast as they could run.

Gregg Williams got a sudden impromptu bath of ice water as he bolted toward the centre of the field. Had the result not been a walkoff win, he likely would have remained on the sidelines, or at least calmly walked out to shake hands with Bluth Corporation coach Arthur Miller. But this was different. This was a cathartic moment. This was revenge for World Bowl X. This was revenge on behalf of their Cyanean neighbours for those repulsive "sniveling Delaclavan baby eaters" insults. This was keeping Cyanea on top of the gridball world.

The massive pile of Stars players, coaches and others in the middle of the pitch were serenaded, at first with the wild cheers of a Woodstock crowd that were able to see what 13 other host nation's teams could not: Their nation's gridballers winning a World Bowl title in front of their very eyes. The crowd's cheering was so loud, in fact, that the disappointed Blutharans barely heard the first notes from the first song blaring from the loudspeakers. It wasn't until the first chorus that everybody in the place heard the Sarzonian rejoinder to the Blutharan revolution. And, interestingly enough, it was not provided by the woman whose birthday was a federal holiday in Sarzonia. Instead, it was country singer Martina McBride.

"Let freedom ring, let the white dove sing," she crooned loud enough for everyone in Joe Gibbs Stadium to hear. "Let the whole world know that today is a day of reckoning." The final words before the song faded to allow Vice President for Health and Athletics Carter Marshall to present the championship trophy to the Stars seared into the minds of everyone in the stadium.

"Let the guilty pay, it's independence day."

[The Fanboyists]

Everyone's luck runs out eventually. The Regulars just wished it would stop running out in the semi-finals, or their equivalent. For a second World Bowl in a row, the Allamunnic national squad, long one of the world's great under-achievers, had to settle for third place after losing to the hosts. The last time, the Regs had bowed out of the A bracket after taking a beating against eventual-champions Delaclava. Then, they had been pounded by the host Blutharians (who seem to have take a turn for the Marxist, of late), leaving them as the longest-surviving team outside of the finalists, and thus giving them third place.

This time, they at least had to earn a top-three finish. Even after a well-played game, the host Sarzonians came out on top, 29-20, courtesy of a late safety on Maarkus Daalhulm, who just couldn't ground the ball fast enough. His biggest complaint? "I didn't get rid of it fast enough. It's on me; Waalt did his job." This statement contrasts with the fact that left tackle Waaltur Stroenheim has been getting a lot of blame for not holding the pocket's weaker left side adequetely. "The line did their job, the whole damn game. They played well. We're all proud of them, and owe them the fact that we just stayed close."

The other half of the close game, from the Allamunnic perspective, was a strong defensive effort; Shaquice Allen was only upright by the end of the game because he's as tough as they come, not because he was untouched. In point of fact, most of the linebackers landed some particularly nasty hits on him (Miles Ryan did it three or four times), and Theo Laansur all but laid on him a few times. "He just wouldn't stay down," Ryan said afterward. "It was unnatural, how he just kept getting up and plugging away," despite the defense limiting him to 61 yards on 23 carrries prior to the final drive for the Stars.

Unfortunately, despite a great game, former practice-squad player Udun Gaardsunn will likely catch plenty of flack for dropping what many say was the game-deciding fumble. Such an assessment will likely ignore the fact that, when Dercik went out in the first quarter of the game, leaving only a short-yardage back otherwise, Gaardsunn took over, rushing 21 times for 87 yards and one touchdown, even against a pumped-up Stars defense. Ole Nurdsunn provided crucial third-down support at times, punching through three short-yardage third downs, and smashing his way through the line on a fourth-and-goal situation from the six-yard line, where he emulated Allen and refused to go down, despite linebacker Erik Vasquez hanging on for dear life on his back.

Unfortunately, a last, surging defensive effort by Sarzonia ended the Regulars' comeback hopes, sending them to the Bronze Bowl against Andossa Se Mitrin Vega.

That game was a different animal entirely. It seemed that the hangover of the semi-final loss would haunt the Regulars for the duration of the game, dooming any chances they had to win.

Despite a strong defensive effort from Andossa Se Mitrin Vega, that was most certainly not the case. While the opening kickoff was returned by the Dragons for a touchdown, they wouldn't score again for the duration of the game, while the Allamunnic defense forced three interceptions and two fumbles en-route to a decisive 17-7 third-place victory.

And Udun Gaardsunn more than made up for the fumble, taking the bulk of the burden of 24 carries for 102 yards and two touchdowns. Even as the rest of the team struggled to pull anything off, Udun ploughed ahead, playing for his mentor.

That afternoon, in the light of the diagnosis of his injury, Haanryk Stahlburg announced his retirement.

Even as another World Bowl ended and the team learned they'd be without their leader and star of the past several years, the old mantra was echoed, as it had been every time for the last eight years.

"Back to work."