Encyclopedia Fatatatutica (Closed)

[Fatatatutti]

Introduction

A lot of information about Fatatatutti is available elsewhere but this is the first attempt to organize it in one place. New topics will be added randomly. Comments and questions by TG are welcome.

Index

69th Lesbian Light Infantry
Agriculture
Alphonse
Alphonseria
Alphonsketeers
Anthems
Architecture
Army
Army Bases
Ball, Arthur
Bag of Gun Mystery
Beaches
Benny Havens
Breakfast Cereals
Bruddah's
Cannibalism
Castro-Stalina Family
Chang Family
Charity
Cities
Clothing
Coast Guard
Coffee
Comic Strips
Communications
Courts
Dive! Dive!
Drugs
Economics
Education
Elections
Embassies
Emergency Services
Energy
F-DR Fighter
Fat City
Fatata-Tiki Expedition
FatataTourist Bureau
Fatatatutti Relief Organization (FRO)
Fatatawushu
FatSat
Fishing Industry
Fishington Institute
Fistful of Dust
Flag
Flying Fembots
Focker
Food
Foreign Legion
Geography
Geology
Government
H-20 Helicopter
Health Care
History
Holidays
Hunting
Immigration
Indi 500
Intelligence Services
Internet
Isla Bonita
Kalikimaka Family
Kono Family
Ku Ducks Klan
Languages
Lumber Industry
McAleskie Family
Medals
Mel's Angels
Militia
Motto
Mr. Quackers
Names
Navy
Peacekeeping
Police
Political Parties (see Government)
Pom Pom Galli
Rank, Military and Naval
Rank, Police
Retail
Rostelefantonastic Family
Skeleton Coast
Small-Mart
Smith Family
Smithian Institute
Soft Drinks
Sports
Standard Oil of Fatatatutti
T-42 Tank
Takeapenny Arsenal
Transportation
'Tuesday Division'
Valkyries
Weapons (Traditional)
Weather Office
Whaling
Wildlife
Wines and Spirits
Workers' Rights Act

See also Who's Who in Fatatatutti?

[Fatatatutti]

Languages

Fatatatutti doesn't have an official language but the language of everyday life is English. English is taught in the schools and used in all government and private business.

The native Fatatatutian language, a member of the Polynesian family, has been largely forgotten by the last few generations. Though there have been some attempts to revive it, it is spoken now only by a few people in remote areas.

Pidgin, or 'business English', which was once used extensively for trading purposes, has also fallen into disuse. Today, it is sometimes looked down upon as illiterate. Perhaps for that very reason, some traces of Pidgin still remain in the slang used by young people . One example would be "catchee cargo", which translates roughly as "get your stuff".

New immigrants have brought almost every language on earth to Fatatatutti and many ethnic communities attempt to maintain their languages in their own communities. However, most children and grandchildren of immigrants use mostly English.

[Fatatatutti]

Fatatatutti Relief Organization (FRO)

The Fatatatutti Relief Organization provides disaster relief wherever it is needed all around the world.

The FRO operates a fleet of C-130 cargo aircraft, which can deliver food, water and medical supplies anywhere in the world, with appropriate refuelling stops. Mobile field hospitals can also be delivered, along with any ground transport required - e.g. trucks and jeeps.

The FRO also operates pairs of hospital ships and helicopter-ambulance carriers:

• Dr. Norman Bethune and Nightingale
• Dr. Lucille Teasdale-Corti and Dove
• Dr. Albert Scweitzer and Pelican

The hospital ships offer emergency and surgical facilities as well as radiological and laboratory facilities equivalent to any major urban hospital. However, they are designed for short-term care only and plans are underway for more hospital ships to provider longer-term care while infrastructure is being rebuilt in the disaster areas.

The helicopter carriers have complete facilities for maintenance of a dozen or more helicopter ambulances. They also have search and rescue personnel and equipment to 'feed' the ambulances at the disaster zone.

Plans are also in the works for smaller ships to act as mobile clinics to serve outlying areas of some nations where basic medical care is unavailable.

The FRO is funded by Fatatatutti's Ministry of Health and Ministry of Foreign Affairs and by private donations. All personnel are volunteers.

[Fatatatutti]

Takeapenny Arsenal

The Takeapenny Arsenal develops and manufactures all of Fatatatutti's military small arms. The well-known Takeapenny rail system for attachment of accessories was developed there. For security reasons, the Takeapenny Arsenal is hidden behind a drycleaning shop.

R-101 Rifle

The R-101 is an integrated infantry weapon system, superficailly similar to the familiar M-16, chambered in 5.56x45 mm format and includinging of several variants:

• R-101A assault rifle
  
• R-101C carbine, with shorter barrel
  
• R-101CC commando carbine, with shorter barrel and folding stock
  
• R-101M designated marksman rifle (also known as R-101DM), with longer, heavier barrel, adjustable stock, bipod and telescopic sight

Because the Fatatatutian Army is fully gender-integrated, all variants (except for the folding-stock variant) are available with stocks in 1 cm length increments, to accomodate users of different sizes.

The Takeapenny rail system can be installed in various configurations for accessories such as red-dot, telescopic or night-vision sights, laser pointers, tactical lights, bipods, grenade launchers, etc.

A 'scaled-up' version based on the same mechanics but chambered in 7.62x39 mm format includes:

• R-101B battle rifle
  
• R-101S sniper rifle), with longer, heavier barrel, adjustable stock, bipod and telescopic sight

G-7 Grenade Launcher

Attaches to an assault rifle or battle rifle via the standard Takeapenny rail system. Standard infantry squads usually have two grenadiers.

• Cartride: 40x46mm
• Action: Single shot
• Effective range: 150m

Available low-velocity 40x46mm rounds include; HE, Airburst, No. 4 buckshot, CS gas, star flare, marker smoke and practice.

Submachine Guns

MP-3

The MP-3 is chambered in 9x19mm Parabellum, blowback-operated with selective fire for sindle shot and full automatic. It features a collapsible stock and accessory rails for mounting a tactical light, laser designator, etc.

It is used by the Navy for armed boarding parties, deck guards and shore parties. Some police forces also use it in their Armed Response Units.

ETA



The ETA was envisioned as a cheap, simple weapon to be produced in great quantities to arm guerrillas in case Fatatatutti is overrun by an invader. ETA is an acronym representing its designer, Harmon Eaves, and the Takeapenny Arsenal, where it is manufactured.

It is blowback-operated, fully automatic only and chambered in 9x19mm Parabellum. It has only six moving parts, costs only 10 USD and takes only 5 hours to make with simple machine tools.

The ETA is favoured by commandos because it can still operate reliably after being submerged in water, buried in mud, etc.

[Fatatatutti]

Embassies

Fatatatutti prohibits any foreigner on Fatatatutian soil from possessing a weapon of any kind. Therefore, embassies are not permitted to have armed guards.

In accordance with international law, embassies are considered the sovereign territory of the visiting nation. However, it is not permitted to carry weapons over Fatatatutian soil, waters or airspace to reach that sovereign territory. For this reason, few foreign nations want to have embassies in Fatatatutti and they are not openly solicited.

It should be noted that Fatatatutti is very safe and even without weapons, most diplomats would be safer here than in their own homelands.

For that reason, Fatatatutti will not send its own ambassadors to other nations where they need to be armed for their own safety.

[Fatatatutti]

Government

President

The role of the President is largely ceremonial. His/her only power is, if Parliament can not agree on a Prime Minister, to dissolve Parliament and call for general elections.

The office of President has been vacant for several terms and nobody seems to notice or even to remember how the President is elected. In the absence of a President, Parliament is on the honour system to dissolve itself if an impasse occurs.

Parliament

There are more than six hundred Members of Parliament, each elected from a district or 'constituency' for a maximum term of four years. They are usually members of a particular party, ranging from Communists to Socialists to Social Democrats and occasionally a few Liberals.

Parliament elects a Speaker from among its members to act as chairperson during its sessions. The Speaker usually doesn't vote except in case of a tie, but that's more of a convention than a requirement.

Parliament meets in a coconut grove. When it rains, the Members move across the street to the Tim Horton's. The coconut grove also has a small private area, surrounded by bushes, known as the 'Chapel', which is presided over by the official Parliamentary Chaplain, who acts as a spiritual/philosophical advisor and confidant.

Order is kept by the Sergeant-at-Arms who is, of course, unarmed.

Prime Minister

Parliament also selects a Prime Minister, whose role is to present a program of legislation. Usually, the Prime Minister is chosen from among the parties with the most Members in Parliament. Since it almost always takes a coalition of parties to agree on a Prime Minister, the program of legislation is an amalgamation of ideas from the parties involved.

Cabinet

Cabinet members are chosen, much the same as the Prime Minister, from among the Members of Parliament of the major parties. Often one party will support another party's candidate for Prime Minister in return for having one of its own members in an important post such as Finance or Foreign Affairs.

Civil Service

Each Cabinet Mininster presides over a department such as Defence, Social Welfare, etc., whose civilian employees carry out the day-to-day activities of preparing budgets and disbursing monies. The Minister's role is to oversee the government's political agenda with regard to his/her department. The actual supervision of the department is the responsibility of the Deputy Minister, who is a civil servant and provides continuity when governments change. The Deputy Minister may not be fired for political reasons.

Non-Confidence

At any time, Parliament can express its lack of confidence in the Prime Minister and his/her program by proposng a motion of non-confidence. If such a motion is passed, the Prime Minister must resign and a new Prime Minister is selected by the usual process.

If there is no agreement on a new Prime Minister and Cabinet, then Parliament is dissolved and general elections are held. As mentioned above, in the absence of a President, Parliament is on the honour system to dissolve itself if an impasse occurs.

Elections

In principle, anybody who wants to vote in Fatatatutti can vote. Technically, the minimum age is eighteen but anybody who is not on the Voters List can sign a declaration at the polling station that he/she has been resident in the district for thirty days. A desire to vote is the only qualification that is deemed necessary. Fatatatutti would rather have unqualified people voting than disqualify people who want to vote.

Political Parties

Some of the most influential political parties include:

• Communist Party (CP)
• Socialist Union (SU)
• Socialist Party (SP)
• Social Democratic Party (SDP)
• Workers' Party (WP)
• Liberal Democratic Party (LDP)
• Labour Party (LP)
• Green Party (GP)
• People's Democratic Party (PDP)
• Socialist Workers' Party (SWP)

Municipal Governemt

Municipalities, whether urban or rural, have a government structure similar to the national government. There is an elected Council and a Chief Councilor, sometimes called a Mayor. In some municipalities, the Chief Councilor is selected from among the Council members by the Council. In others, he/she is directly elected by the people.

Municipal governments have jurisdiction over local infrastructure, parks and recreation and other issues that vary from location to location. All are subject to national standards and much of the funding comes from the national government.

[Fatatatutti]

Flag

The red background of Fatatatutti's flag stands for life, not in the sense of bloodshed but in the sense of blood ties and kinship. Fatatatutians consider all other Fatatatutians, and by extension all other humans, to be part of one family.

Red also stands for the sun, the source of all life.

The hammer and sickle represent the industrial and agricultural workers respectively. They are coloured gold because the workers are the true wealth of the nation. There is a movement to add a pen to represent clerical workers but such changes come slowly in Fatatatutti.

Contrary to popular misconception, Fatatatutti's flag is more than a century old, pre-dating the Communist Party of Fatatatutti by several decades.

[Fatatatutti]

Fatatatutti Foreign Legion

Fatatatutian law forbids any Fatatatutian soldier from setting foot on foreign soil. In the past, when Fatatatutti was asked to provide peacekeepers, volunteers had to resign from the Fatatatutian forces and organize 'unofficial' peacekeeping units before going overseas.

The Fatatatutti Foreign Legion (FFL) was formed to allow foreign volunteers, who are not subject to Fatatatutian law, to join a peacekeeping force organized and led by (former) Fatatatutian officers.

FFL volunteers are trained alongside the regular Fatatatutian forces in Fatatatutti. They may choose to be inducted into the regular Fatatatutian forces at any time. In the event of war, FFL volunteers are not required to defend Fatatatutti.

Affectionately known as 'Fuffle', the FFL is currently composed of approximately 50,000 volunteers from twenty nations.

[Fatatatutti]

Isla Bonita

Isla Bonita is a small (26 sq km) rocky island about 1000 kilometers southeast of Fatatatutti. It is mostly barren, except for some grasses and light scrub. The only animal life consists of birds and molluscs.

Because it is within seaplane range of Fatatatutti, Isla Bonita is a popular anchorage for Navy submarine tenders. By stationing there, they can increase the length of patrols in the South Pacific by several days.

[Fatatatutti]

Intelligence Services

Military Intelligence

The role of Military Intelligence is to assess the strength and intentions of potential enemies, by collecting and analyzing data obtained from public media and by covert operations abroad.

Naval Intelligence

Naval Intelligence - officially called Coast Guard Intelligence (CGI) - performs a similar role, concerned with the naval forces of potential enemies and also with civilian shipping. Intelligence is gathered from public sources and covert operators, as well as by submarines, long-range reconnaisance aircraft and satellites.

Fatatatutti Intelligence

All intelligence agencies in Fatatatutti operate under the umbrella of Fatatatutti Intelligence (FI), which coordinates operations and shares data between the various agencies.

Fatatatutti Intelligence's Department 6 (FI6) is concerned with covert Special Operations overseas.

Police Intelligence

Several police departments maintain their own intelligence services, usually called 'Intel units', which deal mainly with information of a criminal nature. In cases involving national security, information is passed on to FI.

[Fatatatutti]

History

Early History

It isn't known for certain when the Polynesians first reached Fatatatutti. Legend has it that the first Fatatatutians arrived more than a thousand years ago from somewhere in the southwest, after a long journey by outrigger canoe. Archaeologists have dated some artifacts as early as the tenth century CE.

The earliest settlers seem to have been from various tribal groups, possibly originating at different locations, based on cultural clues found in artifacts. Settlements were isolated along the coastline because the rough terrain made inland travel much more difficult than coastal travel.

As the population increased, the settlememts began to interact more and the different cultures blended together, although there were still distinctions between east and west, north and south, etc. By the time the first Westerners visited the island in the late eighteenth century, Fatatatutian culture was a seamless but varied spectrum.

Traders and Settlers

In the early 1800s, whaling ships began stopping regularly at Fatatatutti on their way to the northern hunting grounds, to take on fresh water and food. Some of Fatatatutti's oldest 'white' families, notably the Smiths and the McAleskies, originated from sailors who jumped ship to stay in paradise.

As the visits of foreign ships became more frequent, it was more convenient to trade for supplies instead of sending parties ashore to find water and food supplies for themselves. Traders began to set up shops to trade local produce to the ships and manufactured goods to the natives. Although there were some attempts to exploit the natives, the Trader Era was largely free of conflict.

Plantations

By the late 1800s, foreigners had developed large plantations, mostly to grow sugar cane and pineapples, and large numbers of immigrants were brought in from Asia as a source of cheap labour. However, the native Fatatatutians, who were used to a more carefree lifestyle, were unhappy with the working conditions imposed by the planters and there were many protests in favour of the workers, whom they saw as their brothers and sisters.

At the same time, the planters were frustrated with dealing with many sets of local tribal regulations and they pressed for the formation of a central government. Few Fatatatutians saw a need for centralized decision-making, but eventually, a number of the local tribes agreed to select a Grand Chief who would speak for all of them.

In practice, there was a lot of discussion and counter-discussion before the Grand Chief was allowed to make any kind of statement. In addition, no more than half of the tribes ever supported the Grand Chief.

However, the planters and the traders considered the Grand Chief to be the true spokesman for the whole island.

Rebellion

After one particularly vigorous protest against poor working conditions, the planters virtually ordered the Grand Chief to send the workers back to work and to ban further protest. The Grand Chief knew that such decrees would make him unpopulat and would have no effect anyway, so he resigned.

The planters and traders seized the oppotunity to set up another, more pliable Grand Chief in his place and they began to call him the King. Details of how he got his job are sparse, but suffice it to say that he had virtually no support from the people.

The planters and traders tried to use armed force to back up the decrees of the King, which were in fact their own decrees, but they were hopelessly outnumbered. There was one very brief skirmish with a death toll of one, the king. Afterwards, in compliance with Fatatatutian culture's strict eat-what-you-kill policy, he was eaten in the only documented case of cannibalism in Fatatatutti's history.

Republic

Following the brief Kingdom, more Fatatatutians began to see the value of a central government, if only to protect themselves against the planters and traders. Around the start of the twentieth century, the republic was founded with a constitution very similar to today's.

Recent history

In the early days of the republic, there was a tendency toward following the models of other democracies. However, in the second half of the twentieth century, there was a movement away from 'modernization' and back toward more traditional Fatatatutian values. Thus, the last few decades have seen the prominence of the Communist Party of Fatatatutti, which exemplifies the tribal principles of equality, communal ownership and social welfare.

[Fatatatutti]

Drugs

There are no laws against possession or use of any substances in Fatatatutti. The emphasis is on educating the public, especially children, about the harmful effects of some substances but the decision to use them or not is left to the individual.

Crimes or other antisocial acts committed while under the influence of any substance - e.g. alcohol - are dealt with by rehabilitation rather than punishment.

There are some restrictions on where certain substances can be used - e.g. smoking is not permitted in public places - but the only enforcement is by public pressure.

Some recreational drugs that are readily available are:

• 'Fatata-Rooti-Toot-Tooti' - a medium-potency variety of cannabis
• CC++ - a product of the Coconut Cola company, which contains approximately 4 mg of cocaine per 300 ml serving

Alcoholic beverages including rum, coconut wine, pineapple brandy, etc. are locally produced and readily available.

[Fatatatutti]

Coast Guard

Fatatatutti's Coast Guard, colloquially called the 'Navy', is tasked with protecting the island's coast as well as its shipping interests abroad. In peacetime, its duties consist largely of search and rescue operations, and gathering information on foreign ship movements. In wartime, its role would be to prevent any invasion force from landing, to cut supply lines and to disrupt communications.

Submarines

Fatatatutian submarines patrol all of the world's oceans. There are five Pacific Ocean flotillas, an Indian Ocean flotilla, an Atlantic Ocean flotilla and several undesignated flotillas. Flotillas consist of from two to twenty or more boats.

Each flotilla is based at its own tender, which contains all necessary supply and maintenance facilities. Tenders can refuel, rearm and resupply submarines on the high seas but need to anchor to handle major repairs requiring cranes, etc. Anything short of a major refit requiring a drydock can be done by the tenders.

Because of the danger to unarmed tenders from potential enemies, there are also several covert tenders, known as 'ghost' tenders, which are ostensibly merchant ships. They have no major repair facilities but they are capable of refuelling, rearming and resupplying submarines anywhere in the world. They carry state-of-the-art radar, sonar and communications equipment to avoid being surprised during a rendezvous with a submarine.

Fatatatutti's most modern submarines are the Fish class:

• Dimensions: Length 70.26m, Beam 7.2m, Height 7.6m
• Displacement: 2200 tons surfaced, 2400 tons submerged
• Powerplant: 2× 3035 kW diesel engines, 1x 5000 kW electric motor, 1 shaft, 9000-ampere-hour battery
• Speed: 12 knots surfaced, 20+ knots submerged
• Range: 8000 nautical miles
• Crew: 47
• Armament: 6x 533mm torpedo tubes, 18x torpedoes

(Diesel-electrics are preferred because they are cheaper and quieter than nuclear-powered boats.)

A number of older boats are still in commission, used mostly for training purposes. Other training facilities consist of an escape tank and a depth-charge simulator.

Torpedo Boats

The coast itself and especially the beaches are protected by thousands of torpedo-boats. Although there are a lot of variations a typical torpedo boat has characteristics similar to these:

• Dimensions: Length 24m, Beam 6.3m, Draft 1.1m
• Displacement: 56 tons
• Powerplant: 3x 1100 kW gasoline engines, 3 shafts
• Speed: 41 knots
• Crew: 12 to 14
• Armament: 4x533mm torpedoes, 20mm or 37mm or 40mm rapid-fire cannon, 4x 12.7mm machine guns
• Armour: deckhouse protected against small arms fire.

Missle Boats

Missle boats have a role similar to torpedo boats but use Surface-to-surface missiles (SSM) instead of torpedoes.

Patrol Boats

Patrol boats, or 'cutters' are used mainly for search and rescue in peacetime and for reconnaisance in wartime.

Frigates

The primary role of frigates is to escort surface ships, especially transports, where a minor level of security is needed, and to 'show the flag' in Fatatatutti's territorial waters. As much as possible, all vessels approaching Fatatatutian ports are greeted by a frigate.

Transport

The primary role of naval transport vessels is to refuel, provision and rearm ships at sea, especially submarines.

Naval Air Service

The NAS has four primary roles:

• search and rescue
• long-range reconnaisance
• transport
• anti-submarine warfare

Ranks

• Seaman Recruit
• Seaman
• Petty Officer
• Chief Petty Officer
• Midshipman
• Ensign
• Lieutenant
• Commander
• Captain
• Admiral

Specialists are usually addressed by their job title instead of their rank -e.g. Torpedoman, Signalman. Junior specialists on a particular vessel are addressed as Machinist's Mate, Gunner's Mate, etc.

The commanding officer of a vessel is addressed by his/her crew as 'Captain' and by others by rank - e.g. 'Lieutenant'.

A Midshipman is essentially an apprentice officer. Since officers are expected to know everything about the vessel, midshipmen are required to learn every job from swabbing the decks to navigation.

Uniforms

Working uniforms for most specialists consist of dark blue coveralls. In cleaner environments, Dark blue or khaki T-shirts and shorts are substituted. Officers often wear khaki button-shirts and shorts. While outside, all personnel wear a dark blue baseball cap with 'Navy' or 'Coast guard' across the front.

Many crews have baseball caps and/or T-shirts made with the name of their vessel on them.

There are no dress uniforms.

[Fatatatutti]

Agriculture

Bananas are Fatatatutti's largest agricultural crop, by value. Due to shipping difficulties, they are not a major export.

The second-largest crop and the largest export crop is coconuts, which are processed for copra and coconut fiber as well as being sold whole. There is also a substantial tourist market for coconuts carved to resemble monkeys and for coconut-shell cups for fruity drinks with paper umbrellas.

Pineapples have been grown on large plantations for more than a century and they are a major export, in whole form or canned, or processed into juice or pineapple upside-down cake. Other major fruit crops include papayas and guavas, but they are used mainly in the domestic market.

Recently, an experiment has begun to grow apples and pears imported from Noordeinde. No fruit is expected for several years but they are expected to become popular exotic fruits.

Other agricultural products, grown mainly for domestic use, include taro, rice and palm oil.

Livestock

Pigs are the most valuable animal product. Pork is processed almost exclusively for the domestic market, since pork is the most important meat in the Fatatatutian diet. Whole pigs are also sold for luaus.

By numbers, the largest livestock category is poultry, especially chickens, which are raised for eggs and for meat. Smaller numbers of turkeys, geese and ducks are raised, for festive occasions and for ethnic markets.

A relatively small number of cattle are raised, for milk and for meat. The Kalikimaki ranch, in southwest Fatatatutti, is rumoured to be the only beef producer on the island, with more than thirty thousand head of cattle.

[Fatatatutti]

Pom Pom Galli

Pom Pom Galli is a legendary island far to the south of Fatatatutti. In some stories, it's where the Fatatatutians came from originally. In other stories, it's simply a place that's impossibly far away, a place that can never be reached (which is saying a lot, given the Fatatatutians' equally legendary sailing prowess).

Pom Pom Galli is also the name of Gen. Marie-Louise Castro-Stalina's 7-meter sailboat, in which she circumnavigated the island of Fatatatutti in 2008. (see On Board the Pom Pom Galli)

[Fatatatutti]

Skeleton Coast

The west coast of Fatatatutti consists mostly of shallow beaches, so the prevailing westerly winds make sailing hazardous. There are many tales of sailing ships running aground and being unable to escape against the wind. There have even been instances where ships anchored in one of a few sheltered coves and were unable to leave. Thus, it is often called the Skeleton Coast.

Motorships, which are not at the mercy of the wind and which have modern depth-sounding and navigation gear, have little trouble navigating the Skeleton Coast safely. In fact, Fatatatutti's main oil port is near the northern end of the Skeleton Coast.

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Indi 500

The Indi 500 is the only automobile currently being manufactured entirely in Fatatatutti.

Various companies have been manufacturing aftermarket replacement parts for popular cars since the 1960s. There was a running joke that it was possible to build a Mitsubishi 500 or a Fiat 500 entirely from parts. Eventually, the joke became reality when the Indi Motors company (IM) began offering a complete set of Mitsubishi 500 parts in kit form. By the early 2000s, demand for the kit had risen to the point where IM began offering the fully-assembled vehicle for sale, badged as the Indi 500.

Specifications

The Indi 500 is essentially a clone of a 1960 Mitsubishi 500.

• Body style: 2-door sedan
• Engine: 493cc 2-cylinder, producing 15kW @ 5000 rpm
• Transmission: 3-speed manual
• Dimensions: Length 3.14m, Width 1.39m, Height 1.37m
• Wheelbase: 2.06m
• Weight:490kg

The Indi 500 is advertised a "available in every colour of the rainbow" and a promotional model has been painted in rainbow colours. Since the parts are also available separately, a mix-and-match version with different-coloured doors, hood, etc. is surprisingly popular.

A deluxe version will soon be available with a 594cc engine.

[Fatatatutti]

Workers' Rights Act

The Workers' Rights Act was passed by the Communist Party of Fatatatutti with the support of the Socialist Union, Socialist Party and Workers' Party. Although it has been challenged by the Liberal Democratic Party, it has not been substantially changed since its inception.

Fatatatutian culture has never had a strong tradition of private property ownership. It has always been considered antisocial to claim a greater share of the community's resources than anybody else. The only private property that has always been recognized is the tools needed to make a living, represented by the hammer and sickle on Fatatatutti's flag. These traditions dovetail neatly with the Communist Party's principle that the workers have a right to control the means of production.

The Act simply extends the principle of tool ownership to factories, farms and other means of production. These 'tools' are recognized as the rightful property of the workers.

Under the Act, the workers in a factory or other workplace may petition the government for the opportunity to manage their own workplace. In their application, they must demonstrate that they can obtain the necessary working capital to maintain production levels and employment levels. Often, interest-free government loans are available for that purpose.

If the application is accepted, the workers essentially become the new owners of their workplace. They elect a board of directors who, in turn, appoint managers to oversee the operation of the workplace. Any profits may be re-invested in new equipment, etc. or they may be distributed to the workers as a dividend.

There is seldom any compensation for the former owners.

To date, several hundred workplaces - with anywhere from half a-dozen to several thousand workers - have been taken over by their workers.

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Tuesday Division

The 365th Parachute Division earned the nickname 'Tuesday Division' in 1952 while on manoevers in the central Highlands of Fatatatutti. It had been a very rainy spring and there was a lot of flooding. The commanding general, Carlos Maximiliano 'Mad Max' Castro-Stalina, received a call to help some communites that were in danger of being washed away. They were almost a hundred kilometers away, so the only help expected was with search and rescue and cleanup.

It was Sunday afternoon and the river was expected to crest on Wednesday, so the officials asked how soon the troops could be there. The general famously answered, "We'll be there by Tuesday."

Ten thousand men and women of the division marched almost a hundred kilometers in thirty-six hours, over very rough terrain, arriving on Tuesday as promised. They got right to work, laid almost a million sandbags and saved hundreds of homes.

Since that day, the division's motto has been, "We'll be there by Tuesday," and it's been known to all of Fatatatutti as the Tuesday Division. Every year, on the anniversary of that Tuesday, the valley holds a celebration in honour of the paratroopers who saved their communities.

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Wines and Spirits

Fatatatutti's best wines are made from coconuts, pineapples, papayas or guavas. The largest wineries are owned by the Gallows brothers, Ernie and Julius, and by the Ziegenfuss company. Grape wines are not very popular but small quantities are imported.

Brandy is often distilled from pineapple wine and other brandies are made in smaller quantities.

The locally-grown sugar-cane is also distilled into rum, mostly by country folk for local comsumption. It is said to resemble gasoline in flavour. The most successful commercially-produced rum is Capt. Criggin Rum, which is sold mostly on the international market.

[Fatatatutti]

Soft Drinks

Some of the most popular soft drinks in Fatatatutti include:

• Coconut Cola
• CC++, a new product of the Coconut-Cola company, containing 4mg of cocaine per 300ml serving
• Pepper Cola, the main rival of Coconut Cola (Incidentally, Pepper Cola contains no pepper, although the Pepper-Cola company is also known for producing pepper spray)
• Seven Upside-Down. a pineapple-flavoured rival of the colas
• Dr. Salt, which contains no salt
• Organized Crime Cola, apparently the only soft drink that is actually cola-flavoured
• Mr. Pubb, which is beer-coloured and has a head on it

[Fatatatutti]

Whaling

The people of Fatatatutti are not opposed in principle to whaling or any other kind of hunting. However, Fatatatutti has never had a whaling fleet because whaling is not economically viable in the modern world. More recently, there are also concerns about over-hunting causing extinction of the whale populations.

History

The first foreign ships to stop regularly at Fatatatutti were whaling ships on their way to the hunting grounds in the north. Thus, the first 'white' settlers in Fatatatutti were whalers who jumped ship to inter-marry with the native Fatatatutian girls. Prominent families like the Smiths and the McAleskies had their start in Fatatatutti that way.

With the increased importance of petroleum in the second half of the nineteenth century, whaling declined until it became little more than a historical footnote.

Museums

However, in the last half-century, that history has become an increasingly important tourist attraction. Some of Fatatatutti's whale-related attractions include:

• An authentic whaling ship, the Cetacean, preserved at the docks in Fatatatutti, where tourists can see how a square-rigged ship worked and how the whalers lived. Visitors can row out in a whaleboat and imagine what it was like to harpoon a whale and go on a 'Nantucket sleighride'.
• A privately owned and operated museum that has a collection of harpoons and other whaling gear as well as an extensive collection of scrimshaw.
• The Fatatatutti University Whale Museum (FUWM), commonly known as 'Foom', which has life-sized fiberglass replicas of many whale species and scientific exhibits about the lives of whales.

Whale-watching

Whale-watching is one of the 'Big Three' get-rich-quick schemes, along with beachcombing and taxi-driving. All that's needed is a boat, so almost any boat-owner (or boat-borrower) in Fatatatutti is willing to take tourists whale-watching. Serious whale enthusiasts are encouraged to choose their guide carefully.

[Fatatatutti]

Police

Most policing in Fatatatutti is done at the municipal level. Since there are relatively few laws to enforce, policing consists largely of directing traffic around obstacles and detours, which are frequent, and keeping track of recovered property, such as 'borrowed' cars.

Fatatatutti Mounted Police (FMP)

The Fatatatutti Mounted Police were Fatatatutti's first national police force, originally organized in a paramilitary format in the late 1800s after the formation of the Republic. Due to jurisdictional disputes with the many municipal police forces, the FMP has usually had a mostly ceremonial role. They are in popular demand for events such as the opening of Parliament or shopping malls, in their bright red shirts, khaki shorts and tropical helmets.

Several smaller municipalities, however, are policed by the FMP under a contract arrangement with the Ministry of Justice.

Because they spend most of their time fishing, the FMP don't use horses any more, since they tend to scare the fish.

Flying Squad

One of the few operational units of the FMP is the 'Flying Squad', which has riot training, special weapons and tactical training, etc. In practice composed of several squads distributed throughout the island, the Flying Squad can send help wherever it is needed by road or air. Members of the Flying Squad are among the few police officers in Fatatatutti who are armed.

Fatatatutti Five-0

Some of the larger municipal police forces have their own Criminal Investigation Divisions (CID), but major crimes throughout the island are investigated by Fatatatutti Five-O. While it is technically a division of the FMP, Five-O operates with de facto autonomy, reporting only to the Minister of Justice.

Crime Lab

Forensic laboratory facilities are also under the direct supervision of the Ministry of Justice. There are facilities and trained personnel distributed throughout the island for investigation of crime scenes and collection of evidence but most of the analysis is done at the main laboratory in Fatatatutti.

Auxilliary Police

Many local police forces also have Auxilliary Police, who are usually unpaid volunteers. They are usually dressed in civilian clothes with a baseball cap that says 'Police' on it.

[Fatatatutti]

T-42 Tank

The T-42 tank, commonly known as the 'tee-four-two', is Fatatatutti's main battle tank. Since it is too heavy for many of the bridges on Fatatatutti's secondary roads, it is relegated mostly to the coast where the main roads are. In wartime, its role would be to attack concentrations of enemy troops and to provide 'mobile resistance points'.

The T-42 was developed by engineers from the Takeapenny Arsenal and is built by a subsidiary of the Indi Motors company (IM).

Specifications

• Weight: 62 tons
• Dimensions: Length 9.97m, Width 3.75m, Height 3.00m
• Crew: 4
• Armour: steel/tungsten/ceramic composite
• Armament: 1x 120mm smoothbore cannon w/42 rounds, 2x 12.7mm machine guns w/4800 rounds
• Engine: 47.6L 12-cylinder diesel, producing 1100kW @ 2600 rpm
• Transmission: power shift, 4 speeds forward, 4 speeds reverse
• Suspension: torsion bar
• Range: 550km
• Speed: 72km/h

Variants include:

• an armoured recovery vehicle with bulldozer, crane and winch
• a vehicle-launched folding bridge, 20m long and capable of supporting T-42 tanks

[Fatatatutti]

Peacekeeping

Since Fatatatutian troops are prohibited by law from setting foot on foreign soil, all peacekeeping activities undertaken by the Fatatatutian armed forces must be in an inofficial capacity.

Crozet Peace Force (CPF)

When Fatatatutti was a member of the Crozet region, the Crozet Peace Force was organized to help keep the peace among region members and also among neighbouring nations. Gen. David Washington of Borickio was appointed as the overall commander and Gen. Marie-Louise Castro-Stalina of Fatatatutti as the Chief of Operations of the CPF and field commander of the Rapid Deployment Force (RDF).

That was considered legal because all of the Fatatatutians involved were operating under the neutral flag of the CPF.

Suva Islands

The first operation of the CPF was in the Suva Islands, which had just won their independence and had asked the CPF to supervise their first elections.

Small detatchments of peacekeepers were stationed at each polling place and a larger, more heavily-armed reserve was located centrally to be dispatched if necessary to any trouble spots. A friendly rapport was built up with the locals by playing soccer with the children, holding luaus, etc.

On election day, there was no trouble, although there were a number of minor disputes about who to vote for, etc. It is not known what would have developed if the peacekeepers had not been present.

The only casualty of the operation was one Borickian trooper who was injured in a traffic accident.

Auftragsreich-Neurepubik Border

Immediately after the Suva islands campaign, the bulk of the CPF peacekeepers was evacuated, leaving only a token unit behind to aid in the training of the new Suva Islands defence forces.

The peacekeepers moved directly to the Auftragsreich-Neurepublik border, where continuing tensions threatened to erupt into open war. The Rapid Deployment Force, led personally by Gen. Castro-Stalina, seized bridges, airfields and border crossings with the intent of preventing any cross-border incursions by either side. Though not strong enough to hold all of the strategic points at one time, the RDF moved from place to place quickly enough, making parachute drops on an almost daily basis, to appear like a much larger force.

Although there were no open hostilities, there were a number of incidents, many of them racial, many of them directed against Fatatatutian soldiers of mixed race. Gen. Castro-Stalina personally intervened in several such instances, using her strong personality to force the racists to back down and thus defusing the situation. For those actions and others, she was later awarded the Fatatatutti Medal of Freedom by Prime Minister Mickey Chang.

The Auftragsreich-Neurepublik campaign was long and indecisive, but in the end, all-out war was averted.

Fatatatutti Peace Force

At one point during the Auftragsreich-Neurepublic crisis, Gen. Washington suddenly and inexplicably went missing, leaving the CPF forces in the field out of communication with Headquarters and without a source of supply. The Government of Fatatatutti was obligated to supply the entire force directly from Fatatatutti, thus circumventing the ineffective CPF Headquarters.

(Gen. Washington later claimed to have been 'on vacation'. A subsequent investigation by the Parliament of Fatatatutti found him guilty of dereliction of duty and also absolved Gen. Castro-Stalina of all blame in his counter-charges that she had exceeded her authority.)

Following that incident, the Government of Fatatatutti assumed full control over the peace force, renaming it the Fatatatutti Peace Force (FPF). All non-Fatatatutian troops were allowed to return to their homelands, though many of them preferred to stay on under the command of Gen. Castro-Stalina, who was appointed to overall command of the FPF. A Drachslander Regiment and a Borickian Regiment were formed of volunteers from those nations and were given Fatatatutian citizenship.

Eventually, the Crozet region collapsed and the Fatatatutti Peace Force was disbanded and its members were re-absorbed into the regular Fatatatutian forces.

Today, Fatatatutti's peacekeeping efforts are concentrated in the Fatatatutti Foreign Legion.