[PASSED] Condemn The Kraven Corporation

by **Milograd** » Sat Mar 26, 2011 1:28 pm

Condemn The Kraven Corporation

A resolution to express shock and dismay at a nation or region..

Category: Condemnation | Nominee: The Kraven Corporation | Proposed by: -Carta-

The Security Council,

Asserting that, through the following actions, The Kraven Corporation has acted against the World Assembly's principles of promoting international peace, goodwill, and harmony between nations, and therefore warrants condemnation,

Acknowledging that the Kraven Corporation has an infamous history of wanton destruction of all life, be it through military conquest or through pollution from aggressive industrial practices,

Noting that the High Command of The Kraven Corporation has violated the human rights and civil liberties of billions of innocent people who, whether they opposed The Kraven Corporation or not, were exterminated by the corporation during its unholy approach to the proliferation of resources to fuel its perpeptual war machine,

Recognizing that The Kraven Corporation neglects the human rights, dignity, and security of its people by raiding the homes of its own citizens with forces of The Kraven Military Arm in the search of "Thought Criminals,"

Further recognizing that all who are removed from their homes during raids are sent to death in purpose-built extermination facilites without fair trial,

Shocked by the Kraven Corporation's many acts of genocide and other horrific acts including but not limited to:

The continued and widespread usage of slave labour camps, concentration camps, labour camps, internment camps and extermination camps,
The abuse of the human rights of women by forcing them to breed for the sole purpose of producing Capitol Police Infantry,
The abuse of sovereign nations by invading them, subjugating them, and stealing resources from them,
The extermination campaign against Jagada; where approximately four billion people were wiped out by Kraven Capitol Police Battalions,
The extermination campaign against Dreathis where one and a half billion people were wiped out by Capitol Police Battalions,
The destruction of the Groznyian Coastal City by The Subjugator Class Super-Dreadnaught "The Dark Throne II"; where approximatly seven hundred thousand people were killed during the bombardment,
The prolonged carpet bombing of Groznyian Capital City by The Kraven Air Arm,
The vicious bombardment of the island of Svarnok by the Kraven Naval Arm,

Concluding that, by directly opposing the World Assembly's principles of promoting international peace, goodwill, and harmony between nations, by committing itself to a doctrine of absolute warfare, by subjugating those who do not comply to its various requests or demands, and by exterminating those who resist, The Kraven Corporation has shown itself deserving of the scorn of the World Assembly and of a WASC condemnation,

Hereby Condemns The Kraven Corporation.

[ References ]

Posts · by **Yohannes** » Thu Mar 31, 2011 12:58 pm

Its supposed to be "perpetual" (i think), not "perpeptual"

Otherwise it's great.

by **Unibot II** » Thu Mar 31, 2011 2:18 pm

Noting that the High Command of The Kraven Corporation has successfully ordered the extermination of billions of innocent people, whether they opposed The Kraven Corporation or not, in its unholy approach to the proliferation of resource to fuel its perpeptual war machine.

Recognizing that The Kraven Corporation neglects the human rights, dignity and security of its people by actively raiding the domociles of citizens by forces of The Kraven Military Arm, in the search for "Thought Criminals".

Further Recognizing also that all those picked up during raids are sent to death in purpose built Extermination facilites without fair trial, another gross violation of Human rights by The Kraven Corporation.

I'd go with this...

by **Milograd** » Thu Mar 31, 2011 2:24 pm

Unibot II wrote:
Noting that the High Command of The Kraven Corporation has successfully ordered the extermination of billions of innocent people, whether they opposed The Kraven Corporation or not, in its unholy approach to the proliferation of resource to fuel its perpeptual war machine.

Recognizing that The Kraven Corporation neglects the human rights, dignity and security of its people by actively raiding the domociles of citizens by forces of The Kraven Military Arm, in the search for "Thought Criminals".

Further Recognizing also that all those picked up during raids are sent to death in purpose built Extermination facilites without fair trial, another gross violation of Human rights by The Kraven Corporation.

I'd go with this...

So its good to leave that as is?

by **Kesheru** » Thu Mar 31, 2011 2:27 pm

Supporting Milograd

by **Unibot II** » Thu Mar 31, 2011 2:49 pm

Milograd wrote:
Unibot II wrote:
I'd go with this...

So its good to leave that as is?

Errr... I suggested it because I think you should change it to what I suggested.

by **Milograd** » Thu Mar 31, 2011 2:50 pm

Unibot II wrote:
Milograd wrote:
So its good to leave that as is?

Errr... I suggested it because I think you should change it to what I suggested.

Oh...I just realized it was edited. I saw it in a quote so I thought you had quoted my post.

by **Absolem The Omniscient** » Thu Mar 31, 2011 2:55 pm

Against, as I've never heard of this nation. I tend to watch more then, make my voice heard, and although these crimes are indeed horrendous the chances of this passing are low due to the unpopularity of the person that would be up to vote.

by **Naivetry** » Thu Mar 31, 2011 3:11 pm

Had a question before I get sucked into reading all of those links - are the things you specifically mention (in the text of the proposal) all things which Kraven has done on these forums, as opposed to Jolt?

by **Rethan** » Fri Apr 01, 2011 11:56 am

Absolem The Omniscient wrote:Against, as I've never heard of this nation. I tend to watch more then, make my voice heard, and although these crimes are indeed horrendous the chances of this passing are low due to the unpopularity of the person that would be up to vote.

Kraven has been inactive for the large part of time since NS moved over from Jolt. Anybody who's been here more than a year or so would know what he's done in the past, not to mention he's done more on the new forums than others whom have received condemnations.

by **UMR Milograd** » Thu Apr 07, 2011 8:58 am

Rethan wrote:
Absolem The Omniscient wrote:Against, as I've never heard of this nation. I tend to watch more then, make my voice heard, and although these crimes are indeed horrendous the chances of this passing are low due to the unpopularity of the person that would be up to vote.

Kraven has been inactive for the large part of time since NS moved over from Jolt. Anybody who's been here more than a year or so would know what he's done in the past, not to mention he's done more on the new forums than others whom have received condemnations.

This.

This proposal needs a lot of work; so I really appreciate all the help I can get on it. So please feel free to give me advice on how I can improve this. (To everybody)

by **Grigori Y Rasputin** » Wed Apr 13, 2011 6:39 am

This is the only condemnation on the front page of the Security Council that I will willingly, and openly support. My WA nation will vote yes should this reach quorum which I have no doubt it will.

by **St George of England** » Tue Apr 19, 2011 8:28 am

Grigori Y Rasputin wrote:This is the only condemnation on the front page of the Security Council that I will willingly, and openly support. My WA nation will vote yes should this reach quorum which I have no doubt it will.

Seconded. The Angline-Guanxine Empire condemns these acts, if only for the fact that they don't go far enough.

by **Oliver the Mediocre** » Tue Apr 19, 2011 8:33 am

As I haven't been active on the NS forums for more than the last year, I have some issues with voting to condemn someone I've never heard of whose most heinous (supposedly) crimes cannot be confirmed except through the group saying "Yeah, he totally did that." I'm not saying I won't support this, just somewhat uncomfortable with it as it stands. I'll take a closer and more in-depth look later on. Maybe, though, as a general idea, if we could restrict the text of the proposal to stuff we have references for?

by **-Deus-** » Tue Apr 19, 2011 9:24 am

Kraven...Kraven...Heh, I support this condemnation, these "heinous" acts are something that should be put to an end.

by **Bears Armed** » Tue Apr 19, 2011 10:07 am

-Deus- wrote:Kraven...Kraven...Heh, I support this condemnation, these "heinous" acts are something that should be put to an end.

Not that a condemnation would actually do anything to end those acts, of course...

by **-Deus-** » Tue Apr 19, 2011 10:08 am

Bears Armed wrote:
-Deus- wrote:Kraven...Kraven...Heh, I support this condemnation, these "heinous" acts are something that should be put to an end.

Not that a condemnation would actually do anything to end those acts, of course...

Of course not.

by **A mean old man** » Wed Apr 20, 2011 9:24 am

Your work looks promising. I'm going to do my usual sweep of it.

I'm going to make a lot of edits to your work that you may either choose to completely adopt, selectively adopt, or ignore altogether. I highly recommend adopting the grammatical ones even if you choose not to adopt any others.

One thing that I would change is all of the periods. There's no "correct" way to lay out a WA proposal, but some ways are more correct than others in that they follow the way that the real-life UN actually writes them. I also figured out that placing commas at the end of each clause makes perfect grammatical sense, as it essentially turns the whole proposal into a very long sentence rather than a huge mess of fragments.

Some people use semicolons instead of commas. This doesn't make sense grammatically, but it has been done so often that I suppose it doesn't matter whether you choose to use them or not.

Milograd wrote:
Condemn The Kraven Corporation

A resolution to express shock and dismay at a nation or region..

Category: Condemnation | Nominee: The Kraven Corporation | Proposed by: Milograd

The Security Council,

Asserting that, through the following actions, The Kraven Corporation has acted against the World Assembly's principles of promoting international peace, goodwill, and harmony between nations, and therefore warrants condemnation,

I've added two commas early on in this clause which are grammatically necessary. Otherwise it looks okay. Of course, there are various words and phrases that I'd like to change simply because I'd like to see the sentence work a certain way, but I'm trying not to let myself butcher peoples' clauses too much if it isn't completely necessary.

Acknowledging that the Kraven Corporation has an infamous history of wanton destruction of all life, be it through military conquest or through pollution from aggressive industrial practices,

[no edit]

Noting that the High Command of The Kraven Corporation has violated the human rights and civil liberties of billions of innocent people who, whether they opposed The Kraven Corporation or not, were exterminated by the corporation during its unholy approach to the proliferation of resources to fuel its perpeptual war machine,

The way that this was originally structured was very awkward and needed a facelift.

Recognizing that The Kraven Corporation neglects the human rights, dignity, and security of its people by raiding the homes of its own citizens with forces of The Kraven Military Arm in the search of "Thought Criminals,"

Further recognizing that all who are removed from their homes during raids are sent to death in purpose-built extermination facilites without fair trial,

I split this into two clauses. You can't keep it as one without it being a long, wordy mess.

I added a comma where one was needed.

I didn't see the purpose of "actively" before raiding and removed it.

It's "domiciles," not "domociles." I also just changed it to "homes." You can use the word domiciles if you want, but it sounds hilariously pretentious and actually made me laugh when I first saw it. I doubt it would receive the same reaction from others who are less proficient with the English vocabulary, however. They'd most likely be confused by it.

I also removed the bit at the end, as it sounded redundant. I think people can figure out on their own that this is a pretty big violation of human rights.

Shocked by the Kraven Corporation's many acts of genocide and other horrific acts including but not limited to:

• The continued and widespread usage of slave labour camps, concentration camps, labour camps, internment camps and extermination camps,

I changed a lot of strangely placed capital letters. I'm going to be doing that a lot with these bulleted parts.

• The abuse of the human rights of women by forcing them to breed for the sole purpose of producing Capitol Police Infantry,
• The abuse of sovereign nations by invading them, subjugating them, and stealing resources from them,

It's too much of a pain in the ass to highlight every single capitalization edit I make, so I'm not highlighting any from now on.

• The extermination campaign against Jagada; where approximately four billion people were wiped out by Kraven Capitol Police Battalions,
• The extermination campaign against Dreathis where one and a half billion people were wiped out by Capitol Police Battalions,
• The destruction of the Groznyian Coastal City by The Subjugator Class Super-Dreadnaught "The Dark Throne II"; where approximatly seven hundred thousand people were killed during the bombardment,
• The prolonged carpet bombing of Groznyian Capital City by The Kraven Air Arm,
• The vicious bombardment of the island of Svarnok by the Kraven Naval Arm,

Concluding that, by directly opposing the World Assembly's principles of promoting international peace, goodwill, and harmony between nations, by committing itself to a doctrine of absolute warfare, by subjugating those who do not comply to its various requests or demands, and by exterminating those who resist, The Kraven Corporation has shown itself deserving of the scorn of the World Assembly and of a WASC condemnation,

I restructured this entire clause to make it flow better.

Hereby Condemns The Kraven Corporation.

...and that's it. This is a good piece of writing and I believe it has a very good chance of passing if it attains quorum.

by **Dystopianus** » Wed Apr 20, 2011 10:01 am

Wow... That guy is bad. I mean, he's worse then Blackhelm Confederacy and Kalasparata together. I'm all for this proposal, definatly. Nicely done.

Noting that the High Command of The Kraven Corporation has successfully ordered the extermination of billions of innocent people, whether they opposed The Kraven Corporation or not, in its unholy approach to the proliferation of resource to fuel its perpeptual war machine, this is a gross violation of both the human and civil freedoms of those innocents who died at the hands of The Kraven Corporation.

I'd say remove "unholy" from this clause. Many WA'ers are determined atheists.

by **Milograd** » Fri Apr 22, 2011 12:36 pm

A mean old man wrote:Your work looks promising. I'm going to do my usual sweep of it.

I'm going to make a lot of edits to your work that you may either choose to completely adopt, selectively adopt, or ignore altogether. I highly recommend adopting the grammatical ones even if you choose not to adopt any others.

One thing that I would change is all of the periods. There's no "correct" way to lay out a WA proposal, but some ways are more correct than others in that they follow the way that the real-life UN actually writes them. I also figured out that placing commas at the end of each clause makes perfect grammatical sense, as it essentially turns the whole proposal into a very long sentence rather than a huge mess of fragments.

Some people use semicolons instead of commas. This doesn't make sense grammatically, but it has been done so often that I suppose it doesn't matter whether you choose to use them or not.

Milograd wrote:
Condemn The Kraven Corporation

A resolution to express shock and dismay at a nation or region..

Category: Condemnation | Nominee: The Kraven Corporation | Proposed by: Milograd

The Security Council,

Asserting that, through the following actions, The Kraven Corporation has acted against the World Assembly's principles of promoting international peace, goodwill, and harmony between nations, and therefore warrants condemnation,

I've added two commas early on in this clause which are grammatically necessary. Otherwise it looks okay. Of course, there are various words and phrases that I'd like to change simply because I'd like to see the sentence work a certain way, but I'm trying not to let myself butcher peoples' clauses too much if it isn't completely necessary.

Acknowledging that the Kraven Corporation has an infamous history of wanton destruction of all life, be it through military conquest or through pollution from aggressive industrial practices,

[no edit]

Noting that the High Command of The Kraven Corporation has violated the human rights and civil liberties of billions of innocent people who, whether they opposed The Kraven Corporation or not, were exterminated by the corporation during its unholy approach to the proliferation of resources to fuel its perpeptual war machine,

The way that this was originally structured was very awkward and needed a facelift.

Recognizing that The Kraven Corporation neglects the human rights, dignity, and security of its people by raiding the homes of its own citizens with forces of The Kraven Military Arm in the search of "Thought Criminals,"

Further recognizing that all who are removed from their homes during raids are sent to death in purpose-built extermination facilites without fair trial,

I split this into two clauses. You can't keep it as one without it being a long, wordy mess.

I added a comma where one was needed.

I didn't see the purpose of "actively" before raiding and removed it.

It's "domiciles," not "domociles." I also just changed it to "homes." You can use the word domiciles if you want, but it sounds hilariously pretentious and actually made me laugh when I first saw it. I doubt it would receive the same reaction from others who are less proficient with the English vocabulary, however. They'd most likely be confused by it.

I also removed the bit at the end, as it sounded redundant. I think people can figure out on their own that this is a pretty big violation of human rights.

Shocked by the Kraven Corporation's many acts of genocide and other horrific acts including but not limited to:

• The continued and widespread usage of slave labour camps, concentration camps, labour camps, internment camps and extermination camps,

I changed a lot of strangely placed capital letters. I'm going to be doing that a lot with these bulleted parts.

• The abuse of the human rights of women by forcing them to breed for the sole purpose of producing Capitol Police Infantry,
• The abuse of sovereign nations by invading them, subjugating them, and stealing resources from them,

It's too much of a pain in the ass to highlight every single capitalization edit I make, so I'm not highlighting any from now on.

• The extermination campaign against Jagada; where approximately four billion people were wiped out by Kraven Capitol Police Battalions,
• The extermination campaign against Dreathis where one and a half billion people were wiped out by Capitol Police Battalions,
• The destruction of the Groznyian Coastal City by The Subjugator Class Super-Dreadnaught "The Dark Throne II"; where approximatly seven hundred thousand people were killed during the bombardment,
• The prolonged carpet bombing of Groznyian Capital City by The Kraven Air Arm,
• The vicious bombardment of the island of Svarnok by the Kraven Naval Arm,

Concluding that, by directly opposing the World Assembly's principles of promoting international peace, goodwill, and harmony between nations, by committing itself to a doctrine of absolute warfare, by subjugating those who do not comply to its various requests or demands, and by exterminating those who resist, The Kraven Corporation has shown itself deserving of the scorn of the World Assembly and of a WASC condemnation,

I restructured this entire clause to make it flow better.

Hereby Condemns The Kraven Corporation.

...and that's it. This is a good piece of writing and I believe it has a very good chance of passing if it attains quorum.

Hmm...I appreciate the help. I'll be sure to edit the OP soon, I'm just busy at this moment. Really though, thank you.

by **Sedgistan** » Fri Apr 22, 2011 3:51 pm

Couldn't you spoiler some of that massive quote? Would help to make the thread more readable.

by **Milograd** » Thu Jun 30, 2011 3:29 pm

Lol, I'm a lazy one. >_>

Thanks for the advice/edits AMOM, much appreciated.

Condemn The Kraven Corporation

A resolution to express shock and dismay at a nation or region..

Category: Condemnation | Nominee: The Kraven Corporation | Proposed by: -Carta-

The Security Council,

Asserting that, through the following actions, The Kraven Corporation has acted against the World Assembly's principles of promoting international peace, goodwill, and harmony between nations, and therefore warrants condemnation,

Acknowledging that the Kraven Corporation has an infamous history of wanton destruction of all life, be it through military conquest or through pollution from aggressive industrial practices,

Noting that the High Command of The Kraven Corporation has violated the human rights and civil liberties of billions of innocent people who, whether they opposed The Kraven Corporation or not, were exterminated by the corporation during its unholy approach to the proliferation of resources to fuel its perpeptual war machine,

Recognizing that The Kraven Corporation neglects the human rights, dignity, and security of its people by raiding the homes of its own citizens with forces of The Kraven Military Arm in the search of "Thought Criminals,"

Further recognizing that all who are removed from their homes during raids are sent to death in purpose-built extermination facilites without fair trial,

Shocked by the Kraven Corporation's many acts of genocide and other horrific acts including but not limited to:

The continued and widespread usage of slave labour camps, concentration camps, labour camps, internment camps and extermination camps,
The abuse of the human rights of women by forcing them to breed for the sole purpose of producing Capitol Police Infantry,
The abuse of sovereign nations by invading them, subjugating them, and stealing resources from them,
The extermination campaign against Jagada; where approximately four billion people were wiped out by Kraven Capitol Police Battalions,
The extermination campaign against Dreathis where one and a half billion people were wiped out by Capitol Police Battalions,
The destruction of the Groznyian Coastal City by The Subjugator Class Super-Dreadnaught "The Dark Throne II"; where approximatly seven hundred thousand people were killed during the bombardment,
The prolonged carpet bombing of Groznyian Capital City by The Kraven Air Arm,
The vicious bombardment of the island of Svarnok by the Kraven Naval Arm,

Concluding that, by directly opposing the World Assembly's principles of promoting international peace, goodwill, and harmony between nations, by committing itself to a doctrine of absolute warfare, by subjugating those who do not comply to its various requests or demands, and by exterminating those who resist, The Kraven Corporation has shown itself deserving of the scorn of the World Assembly and of a WASC condemnation,

Hereby Condemns The Kraven Corporation.

This better work this time. >_>

by **Tim-Opolis** » Thu Jun 30, 2011 4:06 pm

Very well written proposal. Congratz on that

Against because I don't think the SC is useful

by **Milograd** » Fri Jul 01, 2011 12:49 pm

[ Submitted ]

by **Princess Luna** » Fri Jul 01, 2011 2:33 pm

"As we are unable to cause the deserved shower of bombs to rain down upon foul Kravenite leadership like the most demanding of monsoon storms, Her Highness has instructed me to approve this proposal, that all may know the foul shames that the stars hide their fires from, as perpetrated and perpetuated in this vile place."

Grandeur stamped a seal of approval on the document.

[PASSED] Condemn The Kraven Corporation

[PASSED] Condemn The Kraven Corporation

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