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Peoples of the Earth, Please Attend Carefully

Where WA members debate how to improve the world, one resolution at a time.
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The Lords of Gallifrey
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Founded: Oct 15, 2004
Ex-Nation

Peoples of the Earth, Please Attend Carefully

Postby The Lords of Gallifrey » Sun Apr 26, 2009 4:10 pm

I have the doomsday device. I demand that I be appointed the Supreme Ruler of your World Assembly. If my demands are not met within twelve hours, I shall activate it!

Bow to your new Master!
Mwhahah!
Image
"Your race hasn't even reached Type 1 on the Kardashev scale. It doesn't control the resources of this one planet, let alone a solar system or a galaxy. The Time Lords were the Type 4 civilization. We had no equals. We controlled the fundamental forces of the entire universe. Nothing could communicate with us on our level. Most races pray to lesser beings than the Time Lords."
~ The Gallifrey Chronicles

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Sneaky Bastards
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Civil Rights Lovefest

Re: Peoples of the Earth, Please Attend Carefully

Postby Sneaky Bastards » Sun Apr 26, 2009 5:08 pm

Hmm... give control of WA to a madman or let him use the doomsday device? We choose activation of the doomsday device. We're curious as to how it works, IF it even works at all!
Last edited by Sneaky Bastards on Sun Apr 26, 2009 5:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Kandarin
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Democratic Socialists

Re: Peoples of the Earth, Please Attend Carefully

Postby Kandarin » Sun Apr 26, 2009 7:08 pm

Given the sheer amount of damage we've managed to inflict with a non-madmanized WA, it can't hurt any.
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The Lords of Gallifrey
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Re: Peoples of the Earth, Please Attend Carefully

Postby The Lords of Gallifrey » Mon Apr 27, 2009 6:59 am

Sneaky Bastards wrote:Hmm... give control of WA to a madman or let him use the doomsday device? We choose activation of the doomsday device. We're curious as to how it works, IF it even works at all!


Very well! I have tried to be reasonable, but as only one nation has capitulated to my demands so far, the doomsday device has been activated, and targeted upon the nation of Sneaky Bastards!

Each hour, a random root vegetable within the nation shall implode, briefly causing a small amount of nuclear fusion within it, turning it into a kilotonne bomb, beginning.... now. Enjoy your carrots: they make you glow in the dark!

The Master,
Supreme Leader, World Assembly.
Image
Last edited by The Lords of Gallifrey on Mon Apr 27, 2009 7:01 am, edited 1 time in total.
"Your race hasn't even reached Type 1 on the Kardashev scale. It doesn't control the resources of this one planet, let alone a solar system or a galaxy. The Time Lords were the Type 4 civilization. We had no equals. We controlled the fundamental forces of the entire universe. Nothing could communicate with us on our level. Most races pray to lesser beings than the Time Lords."
~ The Gallifrey Chronicles

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Atlantis Exsilio
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Re: Peoples of the Earth, Please Attend Carefully

Postby Atlantis Exsilio » Mon Apr 27, 2009 7:57 pm

Oh, oh! An exploding vegetable machine! Why, that's just brilliant! Why did we never think of such a thing? Hmm, maybe we can adapt the exploding human machine. Homo sapiens can't be that different from a carrot, can they? You wouldn't mind providing a schematic of some sort, would you?

Leoteneithis
Researcher, Atlantean Science Bureau

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Tanaara
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Ex-Nation

Re: Peoples of the Earth, Please Attend Carefully

Postby Tanaara » Mon Apr 27, 2009 8:33 pm

While I and my nation as a whole thoroughly distain the toothless tiger that is the WA, I too am highly interested in the schematics. The thought of exploding root vegetables has an odd appeal, much more interesting than the purple carrots that have been recently engineered. Vegitable chips have become the rage of late and this might be a way to make certain that there is a ready supply of such. It certainly isn't as hazzardous as deepfrying in transfats.

Sincerely,

Robert Ryan Fortier ~Hexx
Archon
Domination of Tanaara
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Ardchoille
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Democratic Socialists

Re: Peoples of the Earth, Please Attend Carefully

Postby Ardchoille » Tue Apr 28, 2009 1:33 am

Fortunately, the magical nation of Ardchoille has access to timeline technology. By targeting potential explosions, we have been able to develop a "one minute to midnight" response, thus giving us the opportunity to track down, isolate and move all exploding vegetables to another (unoccupied and aeons-distant) timeline.

This may lead to the appearance of rather angry sapient carrots in the next few seconds, owing to the effects of stranding organic material (including the duds that didn't explode) in the aeons-distant past and leaving them with a race memory that time is malleable, prompting them to turn up here just a few seconds, in our time, after their creation. But them's the breaks. We tie a knot and move on.

We've also included a subroutine centred on halting all objects about to fall on unsuspecting people about to walk under ladders. What the hell, we thought we'd just clean up one of the WA's slapstick schticks while we're at it.

And, of course, the WA, like our capital, is now enclosed in a Super-Efficient Highly Reliable Unfailingly Comprehensive Godmoded Protective Globe (or, as the keyboard rather winningly insists, Glove).

(This may be why magic nations are not allowed to RP. Yah boo sucks to them as sez so, and especially to The Master.)
Last edited by Ardchoille on Tue Apr 28, 2009 1:34 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Gobbannium
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Re: Peoples of the Earth, Please Attend Carefully

Postby Gobbannium » Wed Apr 29, 2009 9:31 am

Finally, we have a use for the super-saturated fruit that have been causing a bit of a mess of the local forests. Apparently apples and pears grown in a stupidly high-magic environment are not only physically unstable, but also spatio-temporally unstable. Now, rather than splattering themselves all over the forest and the occasional forester, they seem to be drawn to imploding root vegetables, and the mix of energies seem to counter each other.

Now we just have the problem of shrivelled turnips that taste like pears.

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Snefaldia
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Father Knows Best State

Re: Peoples of the Earth, Please Attend Carefully

Postby Snefaldia » Wed Apr 29, 2009 9:36 am

Gobbannium wrote:Finally, we have a use for the super-saturated fruit that have been causing a bit of a mess of the local forests. Apparently apples and pears grown in a stupidly high-magic environment are not only physically unstable, but also spatio-temporally unstable. Now, rather than splattering themselves all over the forest and the occasional forester, they seem to be drawn to imploding root vegetables, and the mix of energies seem to counter each other.

Now we just have the problem of shrivelled turnips that taste like pears.


We've been getting harvests of pears that taste like plums. It's not too entirely disastrous, but is really quite disconcerting. I think that's doing more damage than anything, really.
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Tsaraine
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Re: Peoples of the Earth, Please Attend Carefully

Postby Tsaraine » Wed Apr 29, 2009 3:11 pm

The Greater Ascendancy is suffering an outbreak of beefsteak tomatoes that taste like aubergines. Tsarainese tomato farmers are dying in their thousands due to the extremely common Tsakh Aubergine Allergy.

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The Lords of Gallifrey
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Ex-Nation

Re: Peoples of the Earth, Please Attend Carefully

Postby The Lords of Gallifrey » Wed Apr 29, 2009 3:17 pm

I have reconfigured and reset the machine to cremate but not explode all tomatoes (it works on fruits - yes, they're actually a fruit - too!) within the Ascendancy of Tsaraine, as a sign of goodwill, to demonstrate how effectively the World Assembly under my directorship shall deal with the world's problems. They should burst into flames, which may kill people working in tomato warehouses, but resolving the issue. I'm aware that the resultant fires may actually be more lethal than the problem, but I'm willing to take that chance!

Atlantis Exsilio wrote:Oh, oh! An exploding vegetable machine! Why, that's just brilliant! Why did we never think of such a thing? Hmm, maybe we can adapt the exploding human machine. Homo sapiens can't be that different from a carrot, can they? You wouldn't mind providing a schematic of some sort, would you?

Leoteneithis
Researcher, Atlantean Science Bureau


Perhaps we can collaborate. You provide the crazy ideas, I laugh at you and pat you on the head?

Tanaara wrote:While I and my nation as a whole thoroughly distain the toothless tiger that is the WA, I too am highly interested in the schematics. The thought of exploding root vegetables has an odd appeal, much more interesting than the purple carrots that have been recently engineered. Vegitable chips have become the rage of late and this might be a way to make certain that there is a ready supply of such. It certainly isn't as hazzardous as deepfrying in transfats.

Sincerely,

Robert Ryan Fortier ~Hexx
Archon
Domination of Tanaara


Did you know, that's actually the original colour of carrots, before you humans got at them? I don't think blowing up your vegetables is the most efficient way of making chips, though. Have you perhaps considered cutting them and frying them? I believe it's traditional.

Ardchoille wrote:(This may be why magic nations are not allowed to RP. Yah boo sucks to them as sez so, and especially to The Master.)


Eh. For the record, it's a riff on James Bond cliches. Rather than magical ones. Because I wanted to post something, and fiddle about with the new forum's features. I tend to be a little more serious normally.

Yes. I'm breaking the fourth wall. Mwhahah! And I'm aligning my text to the right! What next?
A multi-quote feature?

The Master, Master of the World Assembly
Image
Last edited by The Lords of Gallifrey on Wed Apr 29, 2009 3:21 pm, edited 3 times in total.
"Your race hasn't even reached Type 1 on the Kardashev scale. It doesn't control the resources of this one planet, let alone a solar system or a galaxy. The Time Lords were the Type 4 civilization. We had no equals. We controlled the fundamental forces of the entire universe. Nothing could communicate with us on our level. Most races pray to lesser beings than the Time Lords."
~ The Gallifrey Chronicles

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Scolopendra
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Civil Rights Lovefest

Re: Peoples of the Earth, Please Attend Carefully

Postby Scolopendra » Wed Apr 29, 2009 5:38 pm

Ardchoille wrote:Fortunately, the magical nation of Ardchoille has access to timeline technology. By targeting potential explosions, we have been able to develop a "one minute to midnight" response, thus giving us the opportunity to track down, isolate and move all exploding vegetables to another (unoccupied and aeons-distant) timeline. <snip>

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Tanaara
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Re: Peoples of the Earth, Please Attend Carefully

Postby Tanaara » Wed Apr 29, 2009 5:52 pm

Falls over laughing.

"Bad Scolopendra! Bad! Making little old ladies laugh themselves silly just isn't on! No 'nip for you tonight!" ( dashes back behind the 4th wall)
The mathematical probability of a common cat doing exactly as it pleases is the one scientific absolute in the world. -Lynn M. Osband

"We're not so blase, not so willing to accept that we're safe and we can let someone do our security for us. We're not going to sit there and wait for somebody else to do it because if you wait, it might be too late." Jennifer Allen re: Northwest Airlines Flight 253 - quoted for the Win!

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King Arthur the Great
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Re: Peoples of the Earth, Please Attend Carefully

Postby King Arthur the Great » Wed Apr 29, 2009 7:38 pm

I wonder how bad this would be. Children hate their veggies, and the removal of this great tool of oppression used by adults upon the youth of the world would likely result in the downfall of adults and the rise of the dominion of children. It would either become a utopia, or a free-for-all endless game of dodgeball. If the latter, I'll end up as the oddsmaker.

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The Lords of Gallifrey
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And so, the world was made safe for fruit and veg everywhere

Postby The Lords of Gallifrey » Thu Apr 30, 2009 2:11 pm

How do you define irony?

The Master had a bowl of fruit on his desk.

By cunning reprogramming of his machine, I was able to reconfigure it to backfire on the location of the device itself, setting it up to simultaneously detonate the bowl in a hundred kiloton explosion that has vapourised his entire private island. He's probably escaped though.

The Doctor,
Irritating Do-Gooder.
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Last edited by The Lords of Gallifrey on Thu Apr 30, 2009 2:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"Your race hasn't even reached Type 1 on the Kardashev scale. It doesn't control the resources of this one planet, let alone a solar system or a galaxy. The Time Lords were the Type 4 civilization. We had no equals. We controlled the fundamental forces of the entire universe. Nothing could communicate with us on our level. Most races pray to lesser beings than the Time Lords."
~ The Gallifrey Chronicles

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Angry Sapient Carrots
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Founded: May 02, 2009
Corporate Bordello

Re: Peoples of the Earth, Please Attend Carefully

Postby Angry Sapient Carrots » Sat May 02, 2009 12:02 pm

"Now is the hour of the day of the promised year!
And now come CARROTS!"

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Ardchoille
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Democratic Socialists

Re: Peoples of the Earth, Please Attend Carefully

Postby Ardchoille » Sat May 02, 2009 10:59 pm

Did I ever mention that all Ardchoilleans have terrible night vision? But the day of delivery is at hand!

*notes delivery of Sapient Carrots*

"Citizens! The moon's on the lake, and the mist's on the brae, and the clan has a nom that is nomless by day! Clear nights are ours! Nom at will!"

nom-nom-nom ...

@Scolo: But I'm Australian! The whole canon is ours by national right, on account of we keep watch on the giant drunken sheep! I'm sure you understand, she said, tossing lazily from hand to hand the button that would initiate the activation of Mother Hitton's Littul Kittons.
Last edited by Ardchoille on Sat May 02, 2009 11:33 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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The Emmerian Unions
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Re: Peoples of the Earth, Please Attend Carefully

Postby The Emmerian Unions » Mon May 04, 2009 12:57 am

*smaches that irritating 4th wall* Oh man this is full of epic lulz! I can't see straight or think coherently.

*rebuilds the 4th wall*
Exploding veggies? Exploding fruit? a 100 Kiloton nuke? Wow.
Last edited by The Emmerian Unions on Mon May 04, 2009 10:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Polandthria
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Democratic Socialists

Re: Peoples of the Earth, Please Attend Carefully

Postby Polandthria » Mon May 04, 2009 6:26 am

The Lords of Gallifrey wrote:I have the doomsday device. I demand that I be appointed the Supreme Ruler of your World Assembly. If my demands are not met within twelve hours, I shall activate it!

Bow to your new Master!
Mwhahah!
Image


An interesting dilemma.

:shock:

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Bahgum
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Re: Peoples of the Earth, Please Attend Carefully

Postby Bahgum » Tue May 05, 2009 12:36 pm

[quote="The Lords of Gallifrey"]I have the doomsday device. I demand that I be appointed the Supreme Ruler of your World Assembly. If my demands are not met within twelve hours, I shall activate it!

Sir Albert casually speaks up, " excuse me lad, but we know where our Mother in Law Squads are"

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North Wiedna
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Re: Peoples of the Earth, Please Attend Carefully

Postby North Wiedna » Tue May 05, 2009 12:42 pm

No good, if you take control of the WA, we'll just hide a snipe to shoot you. Right at the front of the building. A South Wiendan sniper is the best in the region.
Last edited by North Wiedna on Tue May 05, 2009 12:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Southern Confederate States (Ancient)
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Founded: May 04, 2009
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Re: Peoples of the Earth, Please Attend Carefully

Postby Southern Confederate States (Ancient) » Fri May 08, 2009 1:00 am

master of the world....blah blah blah, doomsday device, blah blah blah, you got the wrong forum for this, try posting it on the INTERNATIONAL INCIDENTS forum.
Duke
Supreme General
Rogue Nation of Southern Confederate States


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