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[SUBMITTED] Something Amiss In The @@ANIMAL@@ Mountains

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Kaschovia
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[SUBMITTED] Something Amiss In The @@ANIMAL@@ Mountains

Postby Kaschovia » Sat Mar 18, 2023 9:10 pm

Inspired by the Dyatlov Pass incident, if it wasn't obvious.
Something Amiss In The @@ANIMAL@@ Mountains

Validity: None yet that I can think of

The Issue: It's been two weeks since an expedition of nine geological researchers disappeared in the treacherous @@ANIMAL@@ Mountains. Devastated friends and family are enraged at the incapability of mountain rescue services to tackle the terrain and locate the missing expedition.

Option 1 (for internet-nations): "How could they not find them? It's their damn job!" blasts @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister for Accosting Incompetence, practically frothing with anger. "We need a complete overhaul of our mountain rescue services as soon as possible, no expense spared. I'm talking active satellite image analysis, drone deployments, full 5G coverage for isolated areas, GPS search dogs, you name it! Those canines are trained to track scents for miles... If we get this tech out in the field today we'll have the expedition located home in time for supper."

Effect: stranded mountaineers livestream 4K video of their rescues

Option 2 (for non-internet nations): "I know exactly why we've struggled finding them..." blasts @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister for Accosting Incompetence, practically frothing with anger. "It's the ridiculous restrictions we've placed on technology in @@NAME@@! I have reports proving that Blackacre has already implemented active satellite image analysis, drone deployments, full 5G coverage for isolated areas, and GPS search dogs into their rescue services, if we can't get that tech out into the field, that expedition is as good as dead."

Effect: mountain rescuers refer to their new tech gear as the 'watchamacallits' and 'thingymabobs'

Option 3: "You think signing checks will do anything now?" bemoans @@RANDOMNAME@@, a reporter from the @@CAPITAL@@ Herald, gnawing nervously on a pen. "I've been reporting on the dangers and tragedies of the @@ANIMAL@@ Mountains my entire journalistic career and I can promise you, the only thing these mountain expeditions lead to are early graves. The last thing we need is more cold, unattended funerals, especially after what happened to that last exped... uh, nevermind. Just close off areas like these to the public once and for all, and you'll probably save a lot of money, too."

Effect: molehills are the only mountains deemed safe enough for the public

Option 4: "We're wasting time!" exclaims @@RANDOMNAME@@, director of the nation's mountain rescue service, pacing around the room. "What we actually need is more of us looking, not more useless gadgets or morbid reporters. Our current team of thirty rescuers have hundreds of kilometres to cover. If we don't quadruple those numbers we can kiss our chances of saving the expedition goodbye. I say we keep enlisting rescuers until the job is done. Dead or alive, they deserve to be found."

Effect: mountain rescue operations typically end with more people lost than found

Something Amiss In The @@ANIMAL@@ Mountains

Validity: None yet that I can think of

The Issue: It's been two weeks since an expedition of nine geological researchers disappeared in the treacherous @@ANIMAL@@ Mountains. Devastated friends and family are enraged at the embarrassingly obvious incapability of mountain rescue services to tackle the terrain and locate the missing expedition.

Option 1 (for internet-nations): "How could they not find them? It's their damn job!" blasts @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister for Accosting Incompetence, practically frothing with anger. "We need a complete overhaul of our mountain rescue services as soon as possible with no expense spared. I'm talking active satellite image analysis, drone deployments, full 5G coverage for isolated areas, GPS search dogs, you name it! Those canines are trained to track scents for miles... Get this tech out in the field and we'll have the expedition located in no time."

Effect: stranded mountaineers livestream 4K video of their rescues

Option 2 (for non-internet nations): "I know exactly why we've struggled finding them..." blasts @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister for Accosting Incompetence, practically frothing with anger. "It's the ridiculous restrictions we've placed on technology in @@NAME@@! I have reports proving that Blackacre has already implemented active satellite image analysis, drone deployments, full 5G coverage for isolated areas, and GPS search dogs into their rescue services, if we can't get that tech out into the field, that expedition is as good as dead."

Effect: mountain rescuers refer to their new tech gear as the 'watchamacallits' and 'thingymabobs'

Option 3: "You think signing checks will do anything now?" bemoans @@RANDOMNAME@@, a reporter from the @@CAPITAL@@ Herald, gnawing nervously on a pen. "I've been reporting on the dangers and tragedies of the @@ANIMAL@@ Mountains my entire journalistic career and I can promise you, the only thing these mountain expeditions lead to are early graves. The last thing we need is more cold, unattended funerals, especially after what happened to that last exped... uh, nevermind. Just close off areas like these to the public once and for all, and you'll probably save a lot of money, too."

Effect: the nation's mountains are folklore

Option 4: "We're wasting time!" exclaims @@RANDOMNAME@@, director of the nation's mountain rescue service, pacing around the room. "What we actually need is more of us looking, not more useless gadgets or morbid reporters. Our current team of thirty rescuers have hundreds of kilometres to cover. If we don't quadruple those numbers we can kiss our chances of saving the expedition goodbye. I say we keep enlisting rescuers until the job is done. Dead or alive, they deserve to be found."

Effect: mountain rescue operations typically end with more people lost than found

Something Amiss In The @@ANIMAL@@ Mountains

Validity: None yet that I can think of

The Issue: It's been two weeks since an expedition of nine geological researchers disappeared in the treacherous @@ANIMAL@@ Mountains. Devastated friends and family are enraged at the embarrassingly obvious incapability of mountain rescue services to tackle the terrain and locate the missing expedition.

Option 1: "How could they not find them? It's their damn job!" blasts @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister for Accosting Incompetence, practically frothing with anger. "We need a complete overhaul of our mountain rescue services as soon as possible with no expense spared. I'm talking active satellite image analysis, drone deployments, full 5G coverage for isolated areas, GPS search dogs, you name it! Those canines are trained to track scents for miles... Get this tech out in the field and we'll have the expedition located in no time."

Effect: stranded mountaineers livestream 4K video of their rescues

Option 2: "You think signing checks will do anything now?" bemoans @@RANDOMNAME@@, a reporter from the @@CAPITAL@@ Herald, gnawing nervously on a pen. "I've been reporting on the dangers and tragedies of the @@ANIMAL@@ Mountains my entire journalistic career and I can promise you, the only thing these mountain expeditions lead to are early graves. The last thing we need is more cold, unattended funerals, especially after what happened to that last exped... uh, nevermind. Just close off areas like these to the public once and for all, and you'll probably save a lot of money, too."

Effect: the nation's mountains are folklore

Option 3: "We're wasting time!" exclaims @@RANDOMNAME@@, director of the nation's mountain rescue service, pacing around the room. "What we actually need is more of us looking, not more useless gadgets or morbid reporters. Far too long have our treacherous mountains been fatally underestimated, I say we keep enlisting rescuers until the job is done. Dead or alive, they deserve to be found."

Effect: mountain rescue operations typically end with more people lost than found

Something Amiss In The Mountains

Validity: None yet that I can think of

The Issue: A week after an expedition of researchers and hikers mysteriously disappeared in the isolated @@ANIMAL@@ Mountains, devastated friends and family are enraged at the failure of the mountain rescue teams in the area after a lone survivor was found wandering the streets of a rural town, mumbling incoherently.

Option 1: "I can't explain it," mumbles the lone survivor of the expedition, still in visible shock. "One minute we were traversing a heavily forested area near base camp, and the next thing I remember was waking up two miles to the west with no memory of getting there…” An eerie silence befalls the room as your advisors look uncomfortably between themselves. “Call off the damn search. Nobody should ever go back to those mountains. Just close them off to everyone and forget about it all. What use is a 'rescue' service anyway? They left me to die out there, with whatever it is that caused all of this.”

Effect: the nation's adventurers are presumed dead almost immediately after they go missing

Option 2: "This type of reaction is expected from events like this, @@LEADER@@," asserts @@RANDOMNAME@@, the Director of Mountain Rescue for @@NAME@@, looking over imagery taken of the area on @@HIS@@ laptop, "look, we can therapize the survivor all we want, but this is ultimately the result of our underfunded and unrecognized mountain rescue teams," @@HE@@ shows the rest of the room pictures of the missing researchers, "it's quite simple, we need more funding for better, military-grade rescue apparatus if we’re ever going to find these poor souls, and the right to refuse access to expeditions through dangerous areas without explicit approval from the government."

Effect: the nation's mountains are folklore

Option 3: "Where’s your empathy for Maxtopia’s sake?" Wails @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, mother of a missing researcher. “Finding my boy won’t come through blank checks and empty promises! We need to mobilize a national search force capable of covering every last bit of those mountains in the next two days,” she clutches a torn up piece of clothing as the lone survivor rocks back and forth under your desk, “it’s no use closing off areas like this to the public, we need them opened for everyone and mapped thoroughly through geographical surveys so things like this never happen again.”

Effect: the nation pays for its extensive geographical surveys in piles of dead hikers

Something Amiss In The Mountains

Validity: None yet that I can think of

The Issue: A week after an expedition of researchers and hikers mysteriously disappeared in the isolated @@ANIMAL@@ Mountains, devastated friends and family have come to you for an emergency response, enraged at the failure of the mountain rescue teams in the area.

Option 1: "I can't explain it," mumbles the lone survivor of the expedition, still in visible shock. "One minute we were traversing a heavily forested area near base camp, and the next thing I remember was waking up two miles to the west with no memory of getting there…” An eerie silence befalls the room as your advisors look uncomfortably between themselves. “Call off the damn search. Nobody should ever go back to those mountains. Just close them off to everyone and forget about it all. What use is a 'rescue' service anyway? They left me to die out there, with whatever it is that caused all of this.”

Effect: the nation's adventurers are presumed dead almost immediately after they go missing.

Option 2: "This type of reaction is expected from events like this, @@LEADER@@," asserts @@RANDOMNAME@@, the Director of Mountain Rescue for @@NAME@@, looking over imagery taken of the area on @@HIS@@ laptop, "look, we can therapize the survivor all we want, but this is ultimately the result of our underfunded and unrecognized mountain rescue teams," @@HE@@ shows the rest of the room pictures of the missing researchers, "it's quite simple, we need more funding for better, military-grade rescue apparatus if we’re ever going to find these poor souls, and the right to refuse access to expeditions through dangerous areas without explicit approval from the government."

Effect: the nation's mountains are folklore.

Option 3: "Where’s your empathy for Maxtopia’s sake?" Wails @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, mother of a missing researcher. “Finding my boy won’t come through blank checks and empty promises! We need to mobilize a national search force capable of covering every last bit of those mountains in the next two days,” she clutches a torn up piece of clothing as the lone survivor rocks back and forth under your desk, “it’s no use closing off areas like this to the public, we need them opened for everyone and mapped thoroughly through geographical surveys so things like this never happen again.”

Effect: the nation pays for its extensive geographical surveys in piles of dead hikers.
Last edited by Kaschovia on Sat Apr 15, 2023 10:02 am, edited 13 times in total.

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Verdant Haven
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Postby Verdant Haven » Sun Mar 19, 2023 7:11 am

At the moment this feels like it hasn't decided yet what the dilemma is – there are three issues being argued at once, based on three different premises:

1) A conspiracy theory incident – tinfoil hat stuff claiming that everybody died to mysterious powers or a government cover-up from which no rescue is possible
2) A predictable incident - people went into a dangerous area and and were already beyond help, due to natural causes, prior to rescue attempts being initiated
3) A tragic incident - rescue teams were underfunded and were unable to rescue potentially-saveable people before they perished from natural causes

All of that is occurring despite the fact that we've actually got a survivor here. Obviously they *were* rescued. They *weren't* left to die out there. Is the problem that rescue teams couldn't find people? That they gave up too quickly? That there weren't enough of them? What sort of "failure" are families upset about? Again, given the fact that there is a survivor standing here talking to you, it appears that the rescuers did as good a job as could be hoped under the circumstance. There is also a heavy subplot being brought up about the area being known to be dangerous in advance, but with little discussion or agreement about why.

Focus on identifying the logical kernel of what actually happened in the dilemma being presented, and focus the writing and the options on presenting and responding to that premise.
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Kaschovia
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Postby Kaschovia » Mon Mar 27, 2023 10:02 am

Verdant Haven wrote:At the moment this feels like it hasn't decided yet what the dilemma is – there are three issues being argued at once, based on three different premises:

1) A conspiracy theory incident – tinfoil hat stuff claiming that everybody died to mysterious powers or a government cover-up from which no rescue is possible
2) A predictable incident - people went into a dangerous area and and were already beyond help, due to natural causes, prior to rescue attempts being initiated
3) A tragic incident - rescue teams were underfunded and were unable to rescue potentially-saveable people before they perished from natural causes

All of that is occurring despite the fact that we've actually got a survivor here. Obviously they *were* rescued. They *weren't* left to die out there. Is the problem that rescue teams couldn't find people? That they gave up too quickly? That there weren't enough of them? What sort of "failure" are families upset about? Again, given the fact that there is a survivor standing here talking to you, it appears that the rescuers did as good a job as could be hoped under the circumstance. There is also a heavy subplot being brought up about the area being known to be dangerous in advance, but with little discussion or agreement about why.

Focus on identifying the logical kernel of what actually happened in the dilemma being presented, and focus the writing and the options on presenting and responding to that premise.

I've edited the description of the issue such that the lone survivor turns up in a nearby town. The issue is that rescue services didn't know anyone needed rescuing until the lone survivor showed up, highlighting their failure to monitor the area.
Last edited by Kaschovia on Mon Mar 27, 2023 10:03 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Postby Australian rePublic » Tue Mar 28, 2023 12:25 am

Option 1, and what? Abandoned those who are left behind?
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Kaschovia
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Postby Kaschovia » Wed Mar 29, 2023 3:37 am

Australian rePublic wrote:Option 1, and what? Abandoned those who are left behind?

I could edit the option to say he tried to go back and find/rescue them.

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Verdant Haven
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Postby Verdant Haven » Wed Mar 29, 2023 4:38 am

Kaschovia wrote:I've edited the description of the issue such that the lone survivor turns up in a nearby town. The issue is that rescue services didn't know anyone needed rescuing until the lone survivor showed up, highlighting their failure to monitor the area.


I think you may be misunderstanding how Search and Rescue services work.

Much like the fire department doesn't just drive around looking for fires, but instead responds to calls for help sent through dispatch, SAR units are called out and respond when somebody reports a person in need of help.

Unless there is some patently obvious initiating event, like a massive avalanche that hits the known path of a pre-registered climbing party, there would be no reason to have rescuers out looking. For them to respond once a person turns up and says "hey, we had a problem" is exactly the normal and correct thing for them to do.
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Kaschovia
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Postby Kaschovia » Wed Mar 29, 2023 7:16 am

Verdant Haven wrote:
Kaschovia wrote:I've edited the description of the issue such that the lone survivor turns up in a nearby town. The issue is that rescue services didn't know anyone needed rescuing until the lone survivor showed up, highlighting their failure to monitor the area.


I think you may be misunderstanding how Search and Rescue services work.

Much like the fire department doesn't just drive around looking for fires, but instead responds to calls for help sent through dispatch, SAR units are called out and respond when somebody reports a person in need of help.

Unless there is some patently obvious initiating event, like a massive avalanche that hits the known path of a pre-registered climbing party, there would be no reason to have rescuers out looking. For them to respond once a person turns up and says "hey, we had a problem" is exactly the normal and correct thing for them to do.

Very true, my mistake.

In that case I could amend the issue such that the guy turns up and tells them about the missing expedition group at the start and the rescue services are shown to be rather inept from there.
Last edited by Kaschovia on Wed Mar 29, 2023 7:16 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Kaschovia
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Postby Kaschovia » Wed Mar 29, 2023 8:33 am

Significantly edited the options, effect lines, and descriptions.

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Verdant Haven
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Postby Verdant Haven » Wed Mar 29, 2023 5:25 pm

Well now – that looks like an issue premise we can work with! Good adjustment.

Your writing is technically solid, and the new dilemma is straightforward and reasonable, so I think the next step is tweaks and adjustments to the options for style and game elements.

Option 1: I think the main thing here is to provide at least one line of support explaining *how* this equipment will help. Have the speaker justify at least one or two of the specific requests, so it doesn't just come across as listing toys (even if that is kinda what it is :-D). Your length on this option is great, so we don't want to make it much longer – there may be a trade off to be had, removing some of the less-contributory elements to make room for the details. Your first effect line is great. The only thing to bring up is that this option includes both internet-based and aircraft-based ideas and solutions, which are validities we need to think about.

Option 2: Also a good length, also a good general feel. It would be nice to have some hint of the other kinds of dangers of tragedies we're supposed to know are in these mountains. Closing off a whole chunk of land is a pretty big step, so maybe some hint. This doesn't have to be specifics – the vaguer the better, in some ways – but *the idea* of tragedy goes a long way. Something like: "There was that other group last year, and all those missing children of course... and what happened to the surveying crew still gives me nightmares!" That may land harder (your call – it's subjective/stylistic) than just the "I promise you" line, since it creates the impression of Leader knowing the danger, rather than just hearing it second hand.

Option 3: Solid base. I think this needs a touch of supporting argument in the form of explaining why the current numbers are insufficient, and/or how exactly having more people is going to resolve that difficulty. Person-hours per square kilometer searched, difficulty of terrain, exhaustion, those kinds of things. What exactly "the entire local division" means is not clear to me (personally, I associate "division" with military terminology, but not with having specific non-battlefield locations). Definitely a reasonable argument to make though – when I did search and rescue, large rough terrain search areas would sometimes see 150+ trained searchers from a dozen different units working together to try and bring a person home.
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Kaschovia
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Postby Kaschovia » Wed Mar 29, 2023 7:07 pm

Verdant Haven wrote:Well now – that looks like an issue premise we can work with! Good adjustment.

Your writing is technically solid, and the new dilemma is straightforward and reasonable, so I think the next step is tweaks and adjustments to the options for style and game elements.

Option 1: I think the main thing here is to provide at least one line of support explaining *how* this equipment will help. Have the speaker justify at least one or two of the specific requests, so it doesn't just come across as listing toys (even if that is kinda what it is :-D). Your length on this option is great, so we don't want to make it much longer – there may be a trade off to be had, removing some of the less-contributory elements to make room for the details. Your first effect line is great. The only thing to bring up is that this option includes both internet-based and aircraft-based ideas and solutions, which are validities we need to think about.

Option 2: Also a good length, also a good general feel. It would be nice to have some hint of the other kinds of dangers of tragedies we're supposed to know are in these mountains. Closing off a whole chunk of land is a pretty big step, so maybe some hint. This doesn't have to be specifics – the vaguer the better, in some ways – but *the idea* of tragedy goes a long way. Something like: "There was that other group last year, and all those missing children of course... and what happened to the surveying crew still gives me nightmares!" That may land harder (your call – it's subjective/stylistic) than just the "I promise you" line, since it creates the impression of Leader knowing the danger, rather than just hearing it second hand.

Option 3: Solid base. I think this needs a touch of supporting argument in the form of explaining why the current numbers are insufficient, and/or how exactly having more people is going to resolve that difficulty. Person-hours per square kilometer searched, difficulty of terrain, exhaustion, those kinds of things. What exactly "the entire local division" means is not clear to me (personally, I associate "division" with military terminology, but not with having specific non-battlefield locations). Definitely a reasonable argument to make though – when I did search and rescue, large rough terrain search areas would sometimes see 150+ trained searchers from a dozen different units working together to try and bring a person home.

Option 1: Expanded a little on the GPS search dogs, bit of an obvious one to choose but I think it's most suitable and understandable. As for the validity, I can't see how I could adjust the option to accommodate non-internet or non-aircraft nations as the core of the option is to use this level of tech, but maybe a standard internet validity on the whole issue could work a bit better? I don't think it would restrict the number of recipients too heavily, but if you have an idea let me know.

Option 2: Good point. The entire feel of the first draft was supposed to be inspired by the Dyatlov Pass Incident, which absolutely fascinates and terrifies me, which is what I wanted to convey. I've hinted at a disturbing tragedy without it taking up too much of the option space, and I think it conveys exactly the level of discomfort and "I'm done warning you guys about this, I've been doing it my whole life" kind of energy.

Option 3: It's really cool you did search and rescue! Feels kinda funny me writing an issue about it when you've actually been there and done it. But yeah, I've added a little bit about the mountains being generally underestimated but I appreciate the option could still use a little bit of padding.

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Verdant Haven
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Postby Verdant Haven » Thu Mar 30, 2023 8:21 am

Kaschovia wrote:Option 1: Expanded a little on the GPS search dogs, bit of an obvious one to choose but I think it's most suitable and understandable. As for the validity, I can't see how I could adjust the option to accommodate non-internet or non-aircraft nations as the core of the option is to use this level of tech, but maybe a standard internet validity on the whole issue could work a bit better? I don't think it would restrict the number of recipients too heavily, but if you have an idea let me know.


One possibility would be to have a doppelganger for this first option - one for nations with internet (basically what you've written), and one for those without (which could either replace those suggestions, or suggest that "hey, if we allowed modern tech, we might be able to do our dang job!").

Kaschovia wrote:Option 2: Good point. The entire feel of the first draft was supposed to be inspired by the Dyatlov Pass Incident, which absolutely fascinates and terrifies me, which is what I wanted to convey. I've hinted at a disturbing tragedy without it taking up too much of the option space, and I think it conveys exactly the level of discomfort and "I'm done warning you guys about this, I've been doing it my whole life" kind of energy.


Dyatlov Pass is a great "creep factor" story for those who want to believe, but definitely poses a challenge for an issue. Issues tend to require a certain number of facts to be known, and the options establish certain realities to exist. Very hard to capture something mostly famous for being unexplained within those confines! I think what you've turned this into is a good, solid approach for an "inspired by" event. The player is only the government, after all... who knows what the conspiracy theorists will say!

Kaschovia wrote:Option 3: It's really cool you did search and rescue! Feels kinda funny me writing an issue about it when you've actually been there and done it. But yeah, I've added a little bit about the mountains being generally underestimated but I appreciate the option could still use a little bit of padding.


I'm glad you're writing it! After posting my latest draft today, I've still got my next... (counts...) 14 issues planned ahead, which is more than enough for now. I'm ecstatic to have other folks write competently about subjects I'm knowledgeable or interested in. It means that I can comment more meaningfully, and help more thoroughly with any potential editing or publication that comes along.

I think what Option 3 still needs is perhaps a statement about how limited current manpower resources are, in order to support the request for more. If they've only got (for example) half a dozen people to cover a hundred square kilometers, or if they're having to call in their volunteers from the other side of the country (the majority of trained SAR personnel are volunteers who provide their own transportation and equipment), that would add oomph to the idea that feet on the ground is what will help most.
- Verdant Haven

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Urine Town
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Postby Urine Town » Sun Apr 02, 2023 12:09 pm

/bump
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How he indulged a whim
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He shunned the crockery
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Kaschovia
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Postby Kaschovia » Sun Apr 02, 2023 5:51 pm

Urine Town wrote:/bump

While it is appreciated, even if I don't need anyone to bump the thread on my behalf, please don't do this again. I do it through editing and posting the changes, normally.
Last edited by Kaschovia on Sun Apr 02, 2023 5:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Kaschovia
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Postby Kaschovia » Tue Apr 04, 2023 6:28 pm

Verdant Haven wrote:
Kaschovia wrote:Option 1: Expanded a little on the GPS search dogs, bit of an obvious one to choose but I think it's most suitable and understandable. As for the validity, I can't see how I could adjust the option to accommodate non-internet or non-aircraft nations as the core of the option is to use this level of tech, but maybe a standard internet validity on the whole issue could work a bit better? I don't think it would restrict the number of recipients too heavily, but if you have an idea let me know.


One possibility would be to have a doppelganger for this first option - one for nations with internet (basically what you've written), and one for those without (which could either replace those suggestions, or suggest that "hey, if we allowed modern tech, we might be able to do our dang job!").

Kaschovia wrote:Option 2: Good point. The entire feel of the first draft was supposed to be inspired by the Dyatlov Pass Incident, which absolutely fascinates and terrifies me, which is what I wanted to convey. I've hinted at a disturbing tragedy without it taking up too much of the option space, and I think it conveys exactly the level of discomfort and "I'm done warning you guys about this, I've been doing it my whole life" kind of energy.


Dyatlov Pass is a great "creep factor" story for those who want to believe, but definitely poses a challenge for an issue. Issues tend to require a certain number of facts to be known, and the options establish certain realities to exist. Very hard to capture something mostly famous for being unexplained within those confines! I think what you've turned this into is a good, solid approach for an "inspired by" event. The player is only the government, after all... who knows what the conspiracy theorists will say!

Kaschovia wrote:Option 3: It's really cool you did search and rescue! Feels kinda funny me writing an issue about it when you've actually been there and done it. But yeah, I've added a little bit about the mountains being generally underestimated but I appreciate the option could still use a little bit of padding.


I'm glad you're writing it! After posting my latest draft today, I've still got my next... (counts...) 14 issues planned ahead, which is more than enough for now. I'm ecstatic to have other folks write competently about subjects I'm knowledgeable or interested in. It means that I can comment more meaningfully, and help more thoroughly with any potential editing or publication that comes along.

I think what Option 3 still needs is perhaps a statement about how limited current manpower resources are, in order to support the request for more. If they've only got (for example) half a dozen people to cover a hundred square kilometers, or if they're having to call in their volunteers from the other side of the country (the majority of trained SAR personnel are volunteers who provide their own transportation and equipment), that would add oomph to the idea that feet on the ground is what will help most.

I've added a doppelganger for option 1 and expanded option 3 a little bit more to highlight the scale of the search compared to the number of rescuers.

Let me know if you spot anything else!

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Kaschovia
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Postby Kaschovia » Thu Apr 13, 2023 9:26 am

Made some very minor changes. I think this could be close to submission, but if there's anything left, I can still change it.

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Verdant Haven
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Postby Verdant Haven » Fri Apr 14, 2023 6:13 pm

This is looking pretty reasonable for submission.

If you wanted to tweak option three's effect line (folklore...) a bit for clarity, it wouldn't hurt, but I think you've got a respectable submission either way.
- Verdant Haven

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Kaschovia
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Postby Kaschovia » Sat Apr 15, 2023 9:52 am

Verdant Haven wrote:This is looking pretty reasonable for submission.

If you wanted to tweak option three's effect line (folklore...) a bit for clarity, it wouldn't hurt, but I think you've got a respectable submission either way.

I've changed it entirely for something I think is a little more comedic and a bit clearer than the previous one.

I'm going to submit the draft now!

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Australian rePublic
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Postby Australian rePublic » Tue May 02, 2023 3:23 am

Good Luck!
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Kaschovia
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Postby Kaschovia » Tue May 02, 2023 5:05 am

Australian rePublic wrote:Good Luck!

Thank you! :D


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