[SUB'D] My Chemical Romance

[Millenhaal]

Hello all! Hot and fresh issue coming your way!

[Validity] Significant new age beliefs.

[Desc] A @@CAPITALCITY@@ man suffered a widely publicized death after drinking a concoction sold to him by an esoteric medicine vendor. He had ingested the liquid, which contained lead, arsenic, and other toxic substances because he had been told it was a love potion that would increase his charisma and attract his beloved. Potions have long been popular with the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ people, and it has made potion users concerned they could be slowly killing themselves by continuing to consume them.

[Option 1] Bursting into your office with various animal body parts around her neck, Madame Marie-Claudette de Yves Sant-Junien, the mystic who sold the potion, dashes into the room and seals the door with spirit tape. "We have made these mixtures for thousands of years, the lead and arsenic are key components! His Riparochakras just didn't agree with the Orthosophistic Macrocalibration of the elixir's Phorliant Mesograde! All existing regulations on what can be ingested by humans need to be exempt from applying to magic! Can I interest you in a good luck potion? You'll need it when there's a coup next week!"

[Fallout 1] witch's brews set off Geiger counters more than nuclear power plants

[Option 2] "Woah there, it is SO not groovy that these little numbers are sendin' people to the sky, man." says your Minister of Peace, Love, and Bureaucracy @@RANDOMNAME_1@@, swirling around one of the Madame's potions until it starts glowing bright blue. "We should, I dunno, make a Ministry of Radical Brewskis to approve potions for sale, and ensure only approved mystical healers that have been thoroughly vibe checked by the government can administer them. By the way, I saw your niece making some bogus mud pies without written approval. Keep your fam in line, ya dig?"

[Fallout 2] the magic has been taken out of magic with the addition of 300 pages of paperwork signed in triplicate

[Option 3] "Oh please, we all know there's no way to increase romantic attractiveness, otherwise I'd have whipped something up that'd have made Stacy go to Senior Prom with me!" Says @@RANDOMMALENAME_2@@, sporting a plaid fedora. "The bottom line is that people are gullible; easily tricked by bad actors. If we allow these harmful things to exist, more people will die of these false remedies. Sure, some people want the right to choose how they're healed, but if the government's job is to protect it's citizens, that should mean eliminating these substances. If people are really having so much trouble finding a partner, I can make them accounts on some message boards that might help out..."

[Fallout 3] back-alley holistic doctors carry crystals in long trenchcoats

[3b Validity] No internet/computers

[Option 3b] "Oh please, we all know there's no way to increase romantic attractiveness, otherwise I'd have whipped something up that'd have made Stacy go to Senior Prom with me!" Says @@RANDOMMALENAME_2@@, sporting a plaid fedora. "The bottom line is that people are gullible; easily tricked by bad actors. If we allow these harmful things to exist, more people will die of these false remedies. Sure, some people want the right to choose how they're healed, but if the government's job is to protect it's citizens, that should mean eliminating these substances. If people are really having so much trouble finding a partner, I'll direct them towards some support groups that might help out...

[Fallout 3b] back-alley holistic doctors carry crystals in long trenchcoats

[Millenhaal]

[Desc] A @@CAPITALCITY@@ man suffered a widely publicized death after drinking a strange concoction sold to him by an esoteric medicine vendor. He had ingested the liquid, which contained lead, arsenic, and other toxic substances because he had been told it was a love potion that would increase his charisma and attract his beloved. Concerned traditional medicine advocates would like you to ban potions of every sort, citing "facts and logic" as the reason.

[Option 1] "Oh please, we all know there's no way to increase romantic attractiveness, otherwise I'd have whipped something up that'd have made Stacy go to Senior Prom with me!" Says @@RANDOMMALENAME_1@@, sporting a plaid fedora. "The bottom line is that people are gullible; easily tricked by bad actors. If we allow these harmful things to exist, more people will die of these false remedies. Sure, some people want the right to choose how they're healed, but I think they'd rather be alive than worry about such a thing as 'free will'"

[Fallout 1] back-alley holistic doctors carry crystals in long trenchcoats

[Option 2] Bursting into your office with various animal body parts around her neck, Madame Marie-Claudette de Yves Sant-Junien, the mystic who sold the potion, pushes @@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME_1@@ out of the room and seals the door with spirit tape. "You are seriously considering banning my ancient Despojanbourgian mystical practices? These remedies are a hallmark of my culture, my identity! You are infringing on my cultural heritage! His Riparochakras just didn't agree with the Othrosophistic Macrocalibration of the elixir's Phorliant Mesograde! I should be able to offer working solutions to all my patients, no matter how judgemental you and your evil cabal of pill-pushers may be!"

[Fallout 2] nitroglycerin virility solvents have made an explosive debut

[Option 3] "It's a violation of their religious rights to ban such potions, but yet again we don't want people dying from these things," says Minister of Assigning Things to Ministries @@RANDOMNAME_2@@. "We should make it under the purvey of our Food and Drug administration to approve potions for sale, and only allow licensed mystical healers that have underwent rigorous training for safe administration of these solutions. Who cares if they don't do anything? My deadbeat kids don't do anything and I'm not killing them."

[Fallout 3] the magic has been taken out of magic with the addition of 300 pages of paperwork signed in triplicate

[Option 4] "What if we made magic real!?" says your wizard-obsessed nephew, waving his plastic wand in your face. "Some smarty pants said that if we make smartphones smart enough we'll get MAGIC! Just pour all that fancy money you have in that treasure vault you have into developing tech until I can be just like Barry Porter!" He throws the wand at your face. "Abada Cadabra!"

[Fallout 4] most of the national budget is spent on analyzing children's books

[Validity] Significant new age beliefs.

[Desc] A @@CAPITALCITY@@ man suffered a widely publicized death after drinking a concoction sold to him by an esoteric medicine vendor. He had ingested the liquid, which contained lead, arsenic, and other toxic substances because he had been told it was a love potion that would increase his charisma and attract his beloved. Potions have long been popular with the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ people, and it has made potion users concerned that they could be slowly killing themselves by continuing to consume them.

[Option 1] Bursting into your office with various animal body parts around her neck, Madame Marie-Claudette de Yves Sant-Junien, the mystic who sold the potion, pushes @@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME_1@@ out of the room and seals the door with spirit tape. "You are seriously considering defiling the integrity of my ancient Despojanbourgian mystical practices? We have made these mixtures for thousands of years, the lead and arsenic are key components! His Riparochakras just didn't agree with the Orthosophistic Macrocalibration of the elixir's Phorliant Mesograde! I should be able to offer working solutions to all my patients! Can I interest you in a good luck potion? You'll need it when there's a coup next week!"

[Fallout 1] nitroglycerin virility solvents have made an explosive debut

[Option 2] "Woah there, it is SO not groovy that these little numbers are sendin' people to the sky, man." says your Minister of Peace, Love, and Bureaucracy @@RANDOMNAME_1@@. "We should, I dunno, give it to our Food and Drug administration to approve potions for sale, and ensure only approved mystical healers that have been thoroughly vibe checked by the government can administer them. By the way, I saw your niece making some bogus mud pies without written approval. Keep your fam in line, ya dig?"

[Fallout 2] the magic has been taken out of magic with the addition of 300 pages of paperwork signed in triplicate

[Option 3] "Oh please, we all know there's no way to increase romantic attractiveness, otherwise I'd have whipped something up that'd have made Stacy go to Senior Prom with me!" Says @@RANDOMMALENAME_2@@, sporting a plaid fedora. "The bottom line is that people are gullible; easily tricked by bad actors. If we allow these harmful things to exist, more people will die of these false remedies. Sure, some people want the right to choose how they're healed, but I think they'd rather be alive than worry about such a thing as 'free will'"

[Fallout 3] back-alley holistic doctors carry crystals in long trenchcoats


[Option 4] "What if we made wizard magic real!?" says your wizard-obsessed nephew, waving his plastic wand in your face. "Some smarty pants said that if we make smartphones smart enough we'll get MAGIC! Just pour all that fancy money you have in that treasure vault you have into developing tech until I can be just like Barry Porter! Don't want people dying from potions? Just make it so sorcerers can do what potions do!" He throws the wand at your face. "Abada Cadabra!"

[Fallout 4] most of the national budget is spent on analyzing children's books

[Option 5] "We're focusing on the complete wrong problem here!" says outspoken feminist and makeup saleswoman @@RANDOMFEMALENAME_3@@. "That man deserved to die! His so-called 'sweetheart' did not consent to a relationship with him! Had the potion not been unsafe, that poor girl would have been trapped with someone she didn't love! We need to consider all aphrodisiac usage as rape! Y'know, you're looking a little drab in the facial area. Would you consider purchasing some Martha May makeup? It'd really spice up your look!"

[Fallout 5] friendship is magic but love isn't

[Validity] Significant new age beliefs.

[Desc] A @@CAPITALCITY@@ man suffered a widely publicized death after drinking a concoction sold to him by an esoteric medicine vendor. He had ingested the liquid, which contained lead, arsenic, and other toxic substances because he had been told it was a love potion that would increase his charisma and attract his beloved. Potions have long been popular with the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ people, and it has made potion users concerned they could be slowly killing themselves by continuing to consume them.

[Option 1] Bursting into your office with various animal body parts around her neck, Madame Marie-Claudette de Yves Sant-Junien, the mystic who sold the potion, pushes @@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME_1@@ out of the room and seals the door with spirit tape. "We have made these mixtures for thousands of years, the lead and arsenic are key components! His Riparochakras just didn't agree with the Orthosophistic Macrocalibration of the elixir's Phorliant Mesograde! The government needs to keep its nose out of all magic! Can I interest you in a good luck potion? You'll need it when there's a coup next week!"

[Fallout 1] nitroglycerin virility solvents have made an explosive debut

[Option 2] "Woah there, it is SO not groovy that these little numbers are sendin' people to the sky, man." says your Minister of Peace, Love, and Bureaucracy @@RANDOMNAME_1@@. "We should, I dunno, give it to our Food and Drug administration to approve potions for sale, and ensure only approved mystical healers that have been thoroughly vibe checked by the government can administer them. By the way, I saw your niece making some bogus mud pies without written approval. Keep your fam in line, ya dig?"

[Fallout 2] the magic has been taken out of magic with the addition of 300 pages of paperwork signed in triplicate

[Option 3] "Oh please, we all know there's no way to increase romantic attractiveness, otherwise I'd have whipped something up that'd have made Stacy go to Senior Prom with me!" Says @@RANDOMMALENAME_2@@, sporting a plaid fedora. "The bottom line is that people are gullible; easily tricked by bad actors. If we allow these harmful things to exist, more people will die of these false remedies. Sure, some people want the right to choose how they're healed, but I think they'd rather be alive than worry about such a thing as 'free will'"

[Fallout 3] back-alley holistic doctors carry crystals in long trenchcoats

[Option 4] "We're focusing on the complete wrong problem here!" says outspoken feminist and makeup saleswoman @@RANDOMFEMALENAME_3@@. "That man deserved to die! His so-called 'sweetheart' did not consent to a relationship with him! Had the potion not been unsafe, that poor girl would have been trapped with someone she didn't love! We need to consider all aphrodisiac usage as rape! Y'know, you're looking a little drab in the facial area. Would you consider purchasing some Martha May makeup? It'd really spice up your look!"

[Fallout 4] friendship is magic but love isn't

[Untecna]

Mine

Why can't it be shared

/s

[Verdant Haven]

This is a well-written issue with potential. The name is fantastic.

I think the biggest challenge right now is that despite the specificity of then initiating dilemma (the presence of dangerous substances in a love potion), the options end up feeling a bit like a rather broad "alternative medicine vs traditional medicine" debate, which has been done.

I would love to see this written from the perspective of if potions are just considered normal. For example, there are a surprising number of nations that utilize soothsayers and fortunetellers in an official government capacity. We can also look at the even larger number of nations that have a significant proportion of "new age beliefs" in their population. If this weren't a matter of "potions are hogwash, let's discuss whether they are allowed to exist" and instead was about "potions obviously work, so let's make sure they're safe and effective," I think that could be a new and fun way to look at it that allows you to get even deeper into the topic. Government "potion and crystal safety inspectors," written as entirely serious and secular entities, could be hilarious.

[Trotterdam]

When I see love potions in stories, they're usually something you give to your intended, rather than something you drink yourself. Which makes them basically date rape drugs. Which actually do exist in real life (even if their effect is a bit too short-term to be called "love"), but have far more serious ethical problems even if they aren't scams. Especially if they aren't scams.

[Millenhaal]

This is a well-written issue with potential. The name is fantastic.

I think the biggest challenge right now is that despite the specificity of then initiating dilemma (the presence of dangerous substances in a love potion), the options end up feeling a bit like a rather broad "alternative medicine vs traditional medicine" debate, which has been done.

I would love to see this written from the perspective of if potions are just considered normal. For example, there are a surprising number of nations that utilize soothsayers and fortunetellers in an official government capacity. We can also look at the even larger number of nations that have a significant proportion of "new age beliefs" in their population. If this weren't a matter of "potions are hogwash, let's discuss whether they are allowed to exist" and instead was about "potions obviously work, so let's make sure they're safe and effective," I think that could be a new and fun way to look at it that allows you to get even deeper into the topic. Government "potion and crystal safety inspectors," written as entirely serious and secular entities, could be hilarious.

I love this, but I have a question. How would the validities work for such a thing?

[New Stonen]

Good draft. Good luck getting it to become a real issue

[Verdant Haven]

I love this, but I have a question. How would the validities work for such a thing?

Depends which of those conditions you want, but basically you can write the validity as something like "Nation has significant new age beliefs" and we can get that sorted for you backstage.

[Millenhaal]

I love this, but I have a question. How would the validities work for such a thing?

Depends which of those conditions you want, but basically you can write the validity as something like "Nation has significant new age beliefs" and we can get that sorted for you backstage.

Alright, I'll make a new draft soon.

[Australian rePublic]

Option 5- irrespective of whether or not it works, drinking a potion to make someone fall in love with you is technically rape and should be prosecuted accordingly

[Millenhaal]

It's a brand new draft!

[Millenhaal]

I’ll give this a /bump. I’d like thoughts on the new draft.

[New Anarchisticstan]

lmao purgatory

[Sheizou]

I actually really like this issue, I think it does a good job catering to both scientific and fantasy nations. I wish you the best of luck getting it published!

[The Grand Fifth Imperium]

Y'know, you're looking a little drab in the facial area. Would you consider purchasing some Martha May makeup? It'd really spice up your look!"

is it just me or does that last couple of sentences seem a little out of place in option 5? im guessing its put in for humour, but i must admit that its sorta gone over my head

[Millenhaal]

lmao purgatory

It hasn’t been 2 months yet. Now THAT would be torture. Palate torture…

Y'know, you're looking a little drab in the facial area. Would you consider purchasing some Martha May makeup? It'd really spice up your look!"

is it just me or does that last couple of sentences seem a little out of place in option 5? im guessing its put in for humour, but i must admit that its sorta gone over my head

It’s a joke about how a lot of gullible women take being in a predatory MLM (“Martha May” is a parallel to “Mary Kay”) as anti-patriarchy feminism.

[Urine Town]

It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking too far outside the box with making issues, to the point where they are hardly related to your description. And believe me, I’ve been there while making them on my alt nations. For that reason, I would get rid of option 4, since it seems to transition from questionable chemical compounds (that are within modern scientific ability), into magic from Harry Potter. I hope that’s fine

[The Grand Fifth Imperium]

It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking too far outside the box with making issues, to the point where they are hardly related to your description. And believe me, I’ve been there while making them on my alt nations. For that reason, I would get rid of option 4, since it seems to transition from questionable chemical compounds (that are within modern scientific ability), into magic from Harry Potter. I hope that’s fine

not necessarily... remember the age-changing issue? in the last option Leader's niece? wanted him to legally turn her into a unicorn

[Verdant Haven]

It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking too far outside the box with making issues, to the point where they are hardly related to your description. And believe me, I’ve been there while making them on my alt nations. For that reason, I would get rid of option 4, since it seems to transition from questionable chemical compounds (that are within modern scientific ability), into magic from Harry Potter. I hope that’s fine

not necessarily... remember the age-changing issue? in the last option Leader's niece? wanted him to legally turn her into a unicorn

Not legally turn her into that - legally declare that on a piece of paper. No actual change occurred, any more than the person's actual age would have changed. Legal identity is separate from the concept of magic.

[The Grand Fifth Imperium]

not necessarily... remember the age-changing issue? in the last option Leader's niece? wanted him to legally turn her into a unicorn

Not legally turn her into that - legally declare that on a piece of paper. No actual change occurred, any more than the person's actual age would have changed. Legal identity is separate from the concept of magic.

good point! cant believe i missed that nuance...

[Millenhaal]

New draft, gaze upon its everlasting glory!

[Millenhaal]

Bumping this a little

[Verdant Haven]

- In option 1, you've got the speaker pushing a specifically named person out of the way without any indication who that person is. I'm left going "Hey wait, who is Male_1 and why are they getting shoved?" The only specific person yet referenced is the deceased party in the description.

- Also option 1: I'm not sure what the decision being made is. It sounds like the government hasn't been involved in the magic market up to this point, so saying "the government needs to keep its nose out" just means "keep doing what you're doing" – aka Dismiss. The request can be fairly tiny... it can be something like releasing a statement that potions are buyer beware or whatnot, but it needs to be *something.*

- Effect 1 is a fun play on words, but it's also a little out of place because nitroglycerin is actually used for medicine - it's a vasodilator. As such, its uses also specifically do include treatment for erectile disfunction – a "virility" treatment, if you will. This result isn't alternative medicine... it's just medicine! If you want to hold onto the Nitro/Explosive joke, you could say something about them suddenly becoming more explosive (suggesting incorrect production methods, maybe?) – I would just avoid presenting them as new or "alternative" in nature.

- A couple minor thoughts for option 2: the speaker is saying "these little numbers" without really having an antecedent for "these." Perhaps have them holding or gesturing to a potion in their dialogue tag, to provide that context. The term "Food and Drug Administration" is a fairly specific real-world American government agency. Might be more fun to make up something creative and neutral here – especially if their role is going to involve "vibe checking" mystics.

- Only one small note on option 3. "Free will" is generally a specific philosophical or psychological concept (opposite: determinism) about an individual's metaphysical capacity to control their decisions or preferences, while what's being talked about here is more "free choice" or "free action" – the ability to act upon your will. I might try to work the last sentence to be a bit more positive sounding – this person is trying to convince Leader of something they believe, not something they're resigned to. A stronger argument would be about the government's moral responsibility to protect its citizens, for example, rather than phrasing it as "we should take peoples freedoms because they're dumb."

- I feel like option four doesn't really belong here. This wasn't something done to another person, it was done to himself, and there's nothing that provides speaks to whether or not the deceased's beloved was aware of the potion (plenty of couples choose to use aphrodisiacs together – it isn't something that is automatically sinister or unwelcome). I could see a separate issue written specifically about the question of whether doing something to yourself (spell, potion, amulet) that is supposed to magically influence how others treat you (romantically, favorable business, protection) is acceptable, but this issue is about product safety. I think you've got a good three option issue going that addresses that question, and should focus on that.

[Millenhaal]

Hey, GI! It's a brand new draft!

[Millenhaal]

This is on last call! Get in what you can for feedback!