World Cup 93 - RP Thread

[Tumbra]

All posts beneath this one shall be graded for the next cutoff.

[PotatoFarmers]

OptaPoaf's Fantasy analaysis of the week

This is a section released by OptaPoaf and published on major newspapers with sports coverage in Poafmersia. It features the Ko-oren Fantasy Game and what is the optimal solution based on results up to that matchday versus other entries currently on the list. ICy, 1 week = 2 matchdays.

Group 1: Nyowani Kitara (30.53 KPB) - 12 pts
Group 2: Sharktail (11.34 KPB) - 13 pts
Group 3: Gnejs (14.6 KPB) - 14 pts
Group 4: Sargossa (12.09 KPB) - 12 pts
Group 5: Yuezhou (19.64 KPB) - 11 pts
Group 6: Nephara (32.7 KPB) - 12 pts
Group 7: Astograth (9.71 KPB) - 10 pts
Group 8: Osarius (1.29 KPB) - 9 pts
Group 9: The Holy Empire (30.63 KPB) - 15 pts
Group 10: Flavovespia (21.54 KPB) - 15 pts
Group 11: Pratapgadh (0 KPB) - 13 pts
Group 12: The Karodin Tetrarchy (6.23 KPB) - 12 pts
Group 13: Atheara (8.14 KPB) - 11 pts
Group 14: Milchama (23.72 KPB) - 13 pts
Group 15: Eraman (15.11 KPB) - 13 pts
Score: 185
KPB: 237.27

Group 1: Srubnaya Culture (1.58 KPB) - 9 pts
Group 2: Naixi (1.75 KPB) - 11 pts
Group 3: Gnejs (14.6 KPB) - 14 pts
Group 4: Sargossa (12.09 KPB) - 12 pts
Group 5: Yuezhou (19.64 KPB) - 11 pts
Group 6: Varavel (0 KPB) - 9 pts
Group 7: Astograth (9.71 KPB) - 10 pts
Group 8: Osarius (1.29 KPB) - 9 pts
Group 9: Darmen (11.63 KPB) - 11 pts
Group 10: Flavovespia (21.54 KPB) - 15 pts
Group 11: Pratapgadh (0 KPB) - 13 pts
Group 12: The Karodin Tetrarchy (6.23 KPB) - 12 pts
Group 13: Atheara (8.14 KPB) - 11 pts
Group 14: Milchama (23.72 KPB) - 13 pts
Group 15: Eraman (15.11 KPB) - 13 pts
Score: 173
KPB: 147.02

Top 5 fantasy results overall:

1. Arrows and Swords (236.56 KPB) - 143
2. rushmore (234.94 KPB) - 142
3. Sylestone (237.36 KPB) - 142
4. Seametzle's Selection (Eshia) (239.92 KPB) - 142
5. {150} Sylestone (149.47 KPB) - 129
6. gruen (229.48 KPB) - 129

Analysis of the week - Its too early to make an analysis of whether there are actually awesome below average budget picks for the entire tournament, since 4 matches is statistically not sufficient to prove that the team is on a roll or just merely a fluke. Among the top performing teams, Pratapgadh (0 KPB) clinched 4 wins to go top of Group 11, but it is worth noting that the toughest of their schedule is nowhere in sight. The next 2 weeks will be essential in checking whether Pratapgadh is indeed on a roll. If the team survives their tricky trips to Acastanha and Delte, then picking up this nation for 0 KPB might be the most valuable pick of the fantasy. However, among official entries, no selection involved the team. On the other hand, Brenecia (29.38 KPB) may have been one of the biggest disappointments, scoring just 5 fantasy points from their first 4 games. This came off 4 relatively easier matches - Super Top away, which they lost; Acastanha at home, which they drew; Delte away, which they also lost; and Ile de Richelieu at home, where the team finally got their first win. With a trip to Vilita and a home game against Sajnur incoming, the toughest of matches is still yet to come for Brenecia. The 4 entries which picked them, Shnowy Owlsh, Min-Max is cool, Big Man Blud, and The Sighs of Natanians and Nosts all didn't do as well as they could have been, with the highest ranked Shnowy Owlsh at 128 points, behind the joint-5th result of Sylestone's 150 points entry and gruen's ordinary entry. Min-Max is cool, which is an extremely funky entry submitted by OptaPoaf (non-competitive), is the second highest among these 4 teams with 120 points.

[Flavovespia]

Part 3 focuses on the final 6 parties in the Flavovespian Parliament, those with under 10 seats. Whilst currently little in influence, some of these have had somewhat important roles before, especially if the votes on a bill are close. Here are those parties

Party of Equality
Current Leader: Emily Kelly
Number of Seats at Last Election: 3/500

Originally formed in 3AU, via a merger of a few smaller parties and disgruntled Socialists to contest national elections, the Party of Equality have largely been a minor party at national level throughout their history. Largely focused purely on supporting rights for marginalised groups, environmental and animal welfare, they’ve never formed part of a coalition, but in the 12AU-16AU government, were often sought after by the Socialist-Greens whips to secure votes when the aforementioned coalition governed as a minority government. 9 seats in the 17AU first election was their high part, as a counter to the rising right-wing populism, but since then they’ve usually won 3 or 4 seats.

Pirate Party
Current Leader: Jonathan Moore
Number of Seats at Last Election: 3/500

Once seen as a joke party, struggling to get the signatures to even contest elections, their gradual reform to a more sensible party, albeit with a slightly silly side from time to time, saw them first enter Parliament in 8AU with 2 seats. Focused largely on digital rights, and information openness in an increasingly digital age, their best success was arguably getting legislation to protect those areas in the 12AU-16AU Parliament, in unofficial support of the Socialist-Greens coalition. A highwater mark of 8 seats in the 17AU first election was waned to just 3 seats now. Their only main base of support is in the north of the Centrelands, namely Bavingtor and Binclestead Wood.

Christian Union
Current Leader: David Carruthers
Number of Seats at Last Election: 3/500

Officially formed in 0U, to represent Christian interests in the new Republic. They first entered the National Parliament in 4AU, with a single seat. They peaked in 24AU with 4 seats, and usually have 2 or 3. They usually pick up the majority, or even all of their seats in the St Astons list, due to the relatively high Christian population in Saxford, where the party garner most of its support. Generally more socially conservative than most parties, but economically centrists, their voting bloc consists of only those particularly religious Christians in Flavovespia, and even many of those vote for other parties. They’ll likely have a seat or a few in Parliament for a long time, but never go beyond that given the secularity of Flavovespia.

Alliance Party
Current Leader: Annie Wylie
Number of Seats at Last Election: 3/500

The successor to the Radical Socialist Party, they first contested the 34BU election, gaining 58 seats, seen as a backlash to the controversial right-wing economic policies of then First Minister Jessica Worsley. Left of the Socialists, they had a reputation for being more vocal, garnering popular support from some Unions. The 53 seats they had in 24BU was enough to go into coalition with the Socialists under Gary Beale, but their behaviour in government was seen as no less disruptive, turning voters off both them and the Socialists. Their vote share then plunged not long later, in part due to a slew of unacceptable comments about then Democratic Conservatives leader Daniel Cohen, who was much more popular and generally mild mannered. Whilst they got up to 11 seats in 16AU, they’ve never since held much influence in Flavovespian politics, with even the Socialist Party staying away from them, and all but the far-left in Flavoespian politics joining the Socialist Party.

Libertarian Party
Current Leader: Claudette Epoch
Number of Seats at Last Election: 2/500

The Libertarian Party re-entered the national Parliament with 2 seats in 36AU, after a 2 decade absence. The party formed for the 12BU election, and got 2 seats, but struggled for any real notoriety for a while. Then came Curtis Gallus, who took them to a high of 9 seats in 16AU, and it seemed had momentum behind him, especially with the ongoing political changes afoot. Then however, his failed attempt to flee the country and arrest for a whole plethora of offences brought the party crashing down, not least when it was revealed many in the party were aware of the issues, and turned a blind eye. Cast into the wilderness, the party didn’t even contest national elections, until the last ones in 36AU. Claudette Epoch finally took the party back to the national Parliament. As the name suggests, their policies are libertarian in nature. Whilst Claudette Epoch has done a lot to cast away the remnants of the Gallus Scandal, beyond that the party struggles to shake the reputation of taking government not seriously, not least helped by an attitude of wanting far less government anyway.

Coastal Concern
Current Leader: Stephen Turner
Number of Seats at Last Election: 1/500

Almost a one man party, marine biologist and conservationist Stephen Turner set up this party to contest his hometown Batchingtonwood seat, on account of the issue of environmental mistreatment of the coastline, which he felt was ignored by the regional Eastlands and national Parliaments. Seen as a bit of an outsider before the 36AU election, he rode a wave of 2nd and 3rd preferences across the board, combined with enough 1st preferences to avoid early elimination, to take the seat to the surprise of many. With his main campaign goals achieved in this term of Parliament, he announces his intent to not run again in 40AU, and whilst the party will contest regional and local elections still, it looks like a one term wonder in national politics for them. Still, not many people get elected, achieve their main goal, and leave without any real scandal in politics.

[Nephara]

Ziwana 3 - 4 Nephara
(4-3-3) 1 - Strand; 2 - Rake (17 - Levering 70'), 18 - Copperhead, 6 - Scales, 25 - Xu (3 - Lind 78'); 4 - Southsea, 15 - Constantine (19 - Rosziter 78'), 8 - March (23 - Swainsona 70'); 13 - Brewer, 21 - Vetiver, 11 - Loeher
Goals: Brewer 7', Vetiver 19', Copperhead 51', Southsea 66'

Nephara 4 - 2 Baggieland
(4-3-3) 1 - Strand; 17 - Levering, 18 - Copperhead (5 - Roback 89'), 6 - Scales, 25 - Xu (3 - Lind 71'); 4 - Southsea, 15 - Constantine, 8 - March (24 - Sebold 71'); 13 - Brewer (7 - Anharbour 62'), 21 - Vetiver, 11 - Loeher
Goals: Vetiver 31', March 45+1', Vetiver 59', Anharbour 74'

FULL FLIGHT: THE DEFINITIVE HISTORY OF THE CORMORANTS
PART 5: The Glory
Geneva Schwarzer
Part 1: Dawn
Part 2: Breakthrough
Part 3: Shoulders of a Giant
Part 4: Before the Dawn

A chastened figure, Tess Riether ultimately returned to the national team in time to take charge for the Campionato Esportiva, but fans were worried. There was plenty more cause for concern when, in the opening match, Nephara ultimately conceded a late equaliser to a Shytysle side who showed up fifteen minutes late to the match, sheepishly holding ticket stubs, whose decisive goal came from a cross that bounced off a penguin on its way in. A professional 1-0 win over Felix followed to steady the nerves, but when Mareibat's Ezekiel Charlestown drove home the opening goal just three minutes into the final group game, fear was setting in.

Nephara scored ten at the other end.

A vicious dismantling of a very credible Mareibat side, at that time based largely in the then-united A-Leagues, caught eyes, as did the goalscoring debuts of Lienke Vesper and Penumbra Amokachi, who appeared very handy additions to the Cormorants. Playing fast-paced, front-foot football unlike Riether's more defensive style to date was enough to overwhelm Nova Anglicana, Yttribia and Apox in the knockouts before the moment that really caught the eye, a cataclysmic 5-1 win over the rising stars of San Jose Guayabal. It would be the last of Hadrian Belfast's 172 caps, the man still regarded today as Nephara's best-ever defender retiring from international football at 35 at what he reasonably figured was the best possible note, but that glass ceiling was about to be shattered.

The 74 World Cup cycle opened less than auspiciously for Nephara, who only won one of their first three games, establishing a gap to Omerica that they did not successfully close. But Nephara's perfect record in playoffs continued, crushing the Sword Bloke 3-0 away from home before closing the deal at home. So Nephara arrived at the World Cup ranked 9th in the world and fresh off regional triumph, but also a side clearly in transition. Diandra Ballard remained between the sticks, aged 33, while the central midfield partnership of 29-year old Ashdown and 26-year old Rainsford was well-established, lacking for nothing but pace. But the likes of Adnan Szalai, Malachite Scharner, Scylla Vyntra, Vesper and Amokachi were not yet known quantities.

The trend of slow starts continued. Twice, Nephara lead against Eura, but were ultimately undone by slack set piece marking to lose by the odd one of seven goals. They came out of the gates roaring against Polkopia, but again, late goals cost them; leading 3-1 into the last ten minutes, they were pegged back to a draw, a rare Diandra Ballard error between the posts costing them dearly. Only through Igrene Cantor's 86th-minute winner did Nephara find their first victory, against a Super Llamaland who would depart the group without a win; even then, Nephara depended on an already-qualified Eura taking care of Polkopia to make sure they went through. After the stumbles of the past year, nobody thought this Cormorants side was special. They had some players who were clearly going places, yes, but only that; and had Riether failed to progress from the groups again, that likely would have been her job.

The knockouts continued to rest on narrow margins. Adnan Szalai scored against Ko-oren, then got sent off; the Dragonflies battled back to take the game to penalties, the Cormorants hanging on for dear life through extra time, but what was at the time the Dragonflies' Round of 16 jinx continued. Nine penalties in a row found the target before Timo Arevalo's failed chip was caught on the full by the veteran Ballard. Now Nephara were in the quarterfinals for the fourth time, their own jinx point. In their past two, they had been beaten by the side that went on to win the whole thing. RK Quebec would be Nephara's next opponents, at the peak of their powers and at this time boasting many world-class attackers of the day; Hazel van Robben and the notorious Leonardo Conavacio. An free-flowing, all-action match was locked at 3-3 headed into extra time, where the exhausted Lienke Vesper managed to produce one moment of quality to see Nephara through.

Eura were next, perhaps wishing at this point to have thrown the group match against Polkopia. For the fourth time in six matches, there were at least three goals at either end, and when three flew past Diandra Ballard by half-time, most expected the Cormorants to have hit their limits. But Szalai - returning from suspension - and Amokachi levelled the scores, before Scylla Vyntra again underlined her name in Nephara's history books by driving in a 78th-minute winner to set up the first ever all-Esportivan World Cup final, ensuring that the once-derided third region would at last engrave a name on the trophy. The Guayabalense had improved markedly since their crushing defeat a year ago, and unlike Nephara were a side in their prime, not in transition. They had sailed out of their group without a hitch, beaten Farfadillis and Audioslavia en route, and looked altogether more convincing than the Cormorants.

The final was muscular, bad-tempered and utterly gripping, with end-to-end football and heroic defending either end. This was perhaps not the marquee clash neutrals expected, but it would prove unforgettable. A quick throw-in lead to Rodolfo Zelaya slipping his marker and smashing a snap-shot past Ballard in the blink of an eye, just 32 minutes in, scoring his eighth goal of the tournament. But Penumbra Amokachi would not be denied her say. Straight from the kick-off, fast, aggressive play saw Amokachi test Terrazas, and Ashdown struck a post soon after. But just as momentum started to fade, Katskalidis played her way out of trouble and found Szalai down the right. Unstoppable for pace and power, he beasts Nunyez, played a neat one-two with Rainsford to beat Valencia, then returned the favour for Rainsford to have her pick of passes by the fringe of the goal. Cawdor and Covenant split the Guayabalense markers and allowed Amokachi to steal away into the middle, found by a perfectly-weighted, perfectly-timed Rainsford pass, taking it on the studs and turning in a flash and driving an instinctive finish low and hard past Terrazas.

Both sides had chances to clinch it from there, but neither quite found their way through, and so the game limped on to penalties; only in a deeply flaccid extra time did both sides finally look sapped. Ashdown opened the scoring for the Cormorants, while Fraser's, though strong, was at a good height for Ballard, beaten away with both fists. Their fangs around Guayabalense throats, Nephara made no mistake; Bottlegreen, Cantor, Rainsford and, yet again, the leftback Vyntra all found the target, and Nephara were champions of the world. It had been scrappy, and at times ugly, and nobody had seen it coming. But Nephara had at last secured their legacy as one of the great nations of the scene.

In the wake of the final, Theresa Riether stood down, thoroughly vindicated. Reinhard Shale was the NFA's pick to succeed her, the first time in the modern era they had hired a manager that wasn't an in-house promotion. But Shale was well-liked and had excellent credentials, a First Division winner with Stahlburg Rovers, a then-Premiership winner with AFC Treason, and with a successful international record managing Buyan. With the young and vibrant side Nephara had triumphed with, expectation of a true dynasty was high. But for whatever reason, this was not to materialise.

NEPHARAN NATIONAL TEAM SELECTION - FORTNIGHT 3
Goalkeepers: 1 - Medusa Strand (Chromatik, CMT), 12 - Toxothea Sebring (Crisisbless), 20 - Chary Longstreet (CA Paulinthal, PAS)
Defenders: 2 - Solblindi Rake (Sabrefell Moths), 3 - Radeka Lind (Jinja City FC, BNJ), 5 - Vetta Roback (Sabrefell Athletic), 6 - Anaximander Scales (Brinemouth), 17 - Kyri Levering (Northern Union, BRE), 18 - Sven Copperhead (Crisisbless), 22 - Ettard Mitteager (AFC Treason), 25 - Tanith Xu (Myana, CMT)
Midfielders: 4 - Cassander Southsea (Brinemouth), 8 - Renate March (Herzegovina City FC, BNJ), 15 - Demeter Constantine (Crisisbless), 19 - Chandra Rosziter (Dynamo Sjoedrhavn, SVJ), 23 - Kurtis Swainsona (Revolutionaries, EUR), 24 - Bellona Sebold (Crisisbless), 26 - Lindse Kvasina (Istria City FC, BNJ)
Forwards: 7 - Kestrel Anharbour (Crisisbless), 9 - Vasya Reisinger (West Cuono United, TMB), 10 - Bravura Harper (Ulsa, EUR), 11 - Arachne Loeher (Wirr Tsi, CMT), 13 - Madita Brewer (Northern Union, BRE), 14 - Konrad Balmoral (Aries Chariots), 16 - Xanthe Hauser (Crossroads, CMT), 21 - Felixe Vetiver (1830 Cathair, AUD)

[size=75]95X 0 - 1 Nephara
Nephara 1 - 0 Caribbia
Ziwana 3 - 4 Nephara
Nephara 4 - 2 Baggieland
UBSA vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. TJUN
Savojarna vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Elmyia
Varavel vs. Nephara
Srednjaci vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Archalit
Nephara vs. 95X
Caribbia vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Ziwana
Baggieland vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. UBSA
TJUN vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Savojarna
Elmyia vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Varavel
Srednjaci vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Archalit

[Obrela]

The Seafarers Win Again!

Down in Birmingham, Obrela kicks off against Murphtannia. After 20 minutes of back and forth play between the two sides, Duncan Frances scores for Obrela with a lovely distance shot from the edge of the penalty area. However, he takes his shirt off while celebrating with the fans, earning him a yellow card and a reprimanding from the referee. Then, ten minutes later, Murphtannia score from a corner. Cornog is shown a yellow card, but a few minutes later, Miller heads in a nice Chasey free kick, and the Seafarers take the win at the break.

Coming back after half-time, Miller is shown a yellow for a bad tackle on a Murphtannian attacker, and Frances scores an attempted cross to make it 3-1. He starts hunting for his hat-trick as the gap widens. Only 8 minutes later, Miyura scores, showcasing that he has not lost the talent he had at the Baptism of Fire. To finish it off, goalkeeper Hiroki comes up for a cheeky shot from a corner at 79 minutes, thinking he had nothing to lose. To everyone's shock and delight, he puts it firmly in the bottom corner, the fans going wild in the stands with excitement. However, disaster strikes in the 89th minute, when Miller's misplaced tackle on a Murphtannian defender sees him getting a second yellow, and sent off, missing the next game.

Interviews

For some reason I imagine him talking like Jurgen Klopp, so just read it like that.

Interviewer: So Kenji, eventful night tonight, 5 goals, Miller being sent off. WHat are your thoughts on how your team played tonight?
Kenji Ohashi: Uhh, yeah I do think we played well, there was of course that one incident with Nobuko, but we've had a conversation and hoping it won't happen again. In terms of the goals, I think we played very well against quite a big team in the football world so, tha-that is always a bonus but we just have to focus on the next game, the next win hopefully.
Interviewer: Yes, your next game is against Eshialand, how do you think that will go?
Kenji Ohashi: Well of course, no game is an easy game, but yeah we hope to carry on the momentum and the energy from this game and hopefully take another win. We need all the points we can get of course.
Interviewer: And will you feel the loss of Miller?
Kenji Ohashi: Yes of course, it's always a problem when you lose one of your fist team starters but hopefully Mansuso can step in for him, he's been doing very well in training and uh yeah, we shall see.
Interviewer: Kenji, thank you.
Kenji Ohashi: Thank you.

Interviewer: Duncan, a lot of drama out on the pitch tonight, how did you cope with it all?
Duncan Frances: Uhh yeah there was definitely a lot going on. What with Nobuko getting sent off and all but I think we played really well, had lots of energy, you know, 5 goals you don't see that every day so I'm really proud of how the team played and how we did today.
Interviewer: Your next game is against Eshialand, how do you think you'll do without one of your key players?
Duncan: Well it won't be easy, but hopefully Katso can fill his boots, I've seen him working real hard in training and so hopefully he rises to the occasion for his international debut.
Interviewer: Two goals for you tonight, were you looking for that hat-trick?
Duncan Frances: Oh definitely you know, you alway want to be pushing yourself and trying to be better so, yeah I'm kinda gutted I didn't get that matchball.
Interviewer: Well you might not have gotten the match ball, but you did get Player of the Match, so here's this to add to your trophy cabinet.
*He hands over a small award*
Duncan Frances: Thanks for this, and thanks to everyone who came out tonight to support the team, we really appreciate it.

Defeat in Kobe

At the Rising Sun Dome in Kobe, Obrela kick off in their group stage game against Eshialand. Just 6 minutes in Alyssa Longfield of Eshialand gets a yellow, but that doesn't stop Lucas Meilling from scoring 5 minutes later.

[Aleirave]

The First King of Aleirave
Aleirave 1-0 Cabo Azure
Tecoia 0-1 Aleirave

The first time the Aleiravan people formed into a single nation was in the twelfth century AD.

Legend has it that the god of the sea, Ta'anehupa, had a son, who he brought to the island in the year 1134. This son washed upon the shores of the Retakono Me'a, was given the name Felenaro, and was raised by adoptive parents to be the new leader of the island.

Recent evidence, however, shows that the stories of old may be just a bit embellished. Just a bit. It's more likely that Felenaro was the biological son of the parents who raised him, and that they were already a powerful family on the island, as written records seem to show his father Panako being given an early form of the "One with the Waves" (Lai Fekumu Peka'i Me'a, literally "He Drifts Upon the Sea") funerary service, which, during the royal period, was used only for high-ranking ministers and close royal family members. As this was in 1141, when Felenaro would have only been seven years old, his family must already have been powerful around the time he was born.

His mother, Lapai, trained Felenaro to be a leader, knowing that someday, he would succeed her as one of the most powerful people on the island. The most accepted theory as to Felenaro's origin in the modern day is that Lapai and Panako were chiefs of a powerful community, possibly on the north-west end of the island, away from the modern-day site of Lahaira.

In the year 1165, Lapai unexpectedly passed away in a sailing accident, which left Felenaro taking her place, and upon his succession to her chiefdom, the entire island bowed to him and pledged their allegiance to him. Why they did this is unknown, but the traditional mythology can provide a clue as to why this happened.

The traditional tales of the island state that Lapai's ship actually had the four chiefs of the island on it, and the vengeful god of storms, Kevato'e, sank the ship in the hopes that it would kill Lapai, Felenaro, and all the chiefs, thus throwing the island into decades of chaos... but he had miscalculated, for Felenaro was not on the ship with his mother. With all of their chiefs gone, the people then saw Felenaro's divinity and declared him king of all Aleirave (Petake ku Aleirave).

Modern historians suggest that the true history is even more sinister than the mythology; they speculate that Lapai had told tales of Felenaro's divinity long before the incident, in order to establish her chiefdom over the others. Once the time came, she invited all the other chiefs onto the ship with her, sabotaged it, and hoped that those back home on the island would see Felenaro as the son of Ta'anehupa and proclaim him their king, thus usurping the whole island for her family.

Whatever the case may be, the 31-year-old Felenaro was now the first king of Aleirave, and he's remembered as the king who united the island for the first time, ending centuries of bickering between the various chiefdoms. It most likely wasn't out and out war between these chiefs since, again, there's no evidence of any weapons pre-kingdom, so bickering is what historians usually refer to it as. This Kingdom of Aleirave which he established would last for 604 years, until the Tereyevs sacked Lahaira in 1769.

---

I don't think anyone on this island was expecting what they saw in the home match against Cabo Azure.

Against all the odds, this Seagulls team had managed to score the only goal in a tightly contested match against las Maçaricas -- a beautiful strike from Neraveke Ho'uminalu to the top corner of the net -- snagging their second win in a row, which was followed up by another 1-0 win in Tecoia to make it three.

However, there was something a bit more surprising than the match itself... it was what was going on outside the pitch. A few too many people had shown up to the Aleiravan home ground, and it was getting hard for anyone to see what was going on from the back. In and of itself, excitement for the matches was fine, but something had to be done about the crowd situation... what would that be though? That field was some of the only flat, grassy ground the island had, and constructing a proper stadium on the island would mean bulldozing a lot of naturally beautiful land...

"Does anybody have any solutions?" Governor Refilene Adari'ena asked in a meeting with Haulafo Paka'ula (in his capacity as the AFA's president) and Luanola Tehatari, the head of the Aleiravan Integration Initiative. "The crowds are getting just a little bit unmanageable, and it's starting to become a serious safety hazard."

"There's one obvious solution," Haulafo pointed out, "and that is: we need a new stadium!"
"Where?" Luanola asked. "Almost the whole island is protected land! I'm all for improving our infrastructure, but I don't see a place where we could put it!"

The group was stumped. Where could they possibly go from here?

Aleirave - 1 (Ho'uminalu 65')
Cabo Azure - 0

Tecoia - 0
Aleirave - 1 (Vraletsky 21')

[Naixi]

Qiawutian's Finest Stout, read the letters in a vintage, vaguely Celtic font. They were printed upon the window panes of an obscenely cheesy Irish pub just up the hill from the subway station. Ohimi shuddered as she took the place in. The sluggishness money threw - like a weighted blanket - over the imaginations of Terrace Heights' rich and not-so-famous was on full display here.

She already couldn't wait to leave, and she hadn't even stepped through the door yet. Hi Yuan had insisted that this be the place they met to discuss the case, despite the fact that neither one of them lived in this affluent and altitudinous neighborhood. She had tried to weasel her way out of it ("why don't we just meet at my desk in HQ?") but Hi Yuan had been maddeningly persistent that they meet here.

Molly's, read the gold-embossed lettering above the windows. Regrettably, Ohimi thought, I seem to have found the place. She'd taken the subway up from the Bridge East tube station on the Pink Line, and walked out of the Terrace Heights station to the exhausting sight of a glittering private school. Throngs of schoolchildren, trimmed in spotless school uniforms, were dashing here and there across the street as the stern iron gates of the school looked on. The arrogance of the whole scene perturbed Ohimi to her core, so she started walking up the lane towards the pub, hoping that her experience would get better.

It did not. The private school was followed by a brand-new commercial tower housing the main offices of some rideshare app that promised investors a profit by busting taxi driver unions. A few blocks past that, past a curve in the street and some high-end fashion shops, was this miserable Irish pub.

"And apparently," Ohimi said out loud to herself as she walked through the front door and immediately saw a bouquet-holding Hi Yuan, "it's a date. Fuck my life."

For a long second, Hi Yuan tried to cry out to her, but the din of the Irish jig playing inside the pub (which was worryingly empty for a late Saturday afternoon) was simply too much. Ohimi didn't hear a word he said. So, for yet another excruciatingly long second, he waved his arms around like a windmill, trying to beckon her over.

"Hi," she said ruefully once she was within earshot, "how are you?"

Hi Yuan grinned at her. He was short and somewhat pudgy, and had worn glasses since the day she'd first met him, when they were both new recruits in the Academy. He wasn't a bad looking guy, he was just... SO weird. He was prone to bizarre sneezing fits, and any time he finally reached the end of one, he'd always exclaim, verbatim, without any deviation, "thought I'd never get that stuff out." It would happen multiple times a day, and always with "thought I'd never get that stuff out." And he had an odd smell, like dog food with men's cologne sprayed on it. And, of course, the real killer, he was the undisputed and undefeated champion of Too Much Eye Contact.

"I'm great!" he said, adding a strange and unnatural whip of his head to the reply.

"Good," Ohimi responded uncomfortably, "so, what's up?"

"Nothing. Thanks for meeting me."

"Yup. It's for work, we gotta meet somewhere."

"Well, technically we could have used tele-conferencing software. You know, there's a tech firm just down the street that struck it rich after they developed a new form of cyber security for tele-conferencing software. My dad knows the CFO for them. Their stock value is just through the roof. You wouldn't think that would be a way to make money in tech, you know? Securitizing tele-conferencing software. But, you know, people will log on to a meeting with their penises hanging out-"

He paused, and proceeded to violently sneeze five times (Ohimi counted).

"Thought I'd never get that stuff out. Anyway, they do it just to mess with you. You might be having a meeting with your fellow teachers about, I don't know, how to change your school's curriculum or somesuch, and then all of a sudden, BAM! Penis!"

"Yeah," Ohimi said quietly.

Hi Yuan continued. "My dad knows lots of these tech guys. Actually, he knows a lot of guys in general. My dad actually knows the guy who owns this place."

"Sure, you mentioned that back at headqu-"

"Yup, he owns a few restaurants and bars around the city, actually, but I'd never been to this one before. Pretty nice neighborhood, don't you agree?"

"Uhhhhh. It's not quite my cup of te-"

"Yeah, I know, I like it too. My dad knows tons of guys in this neighborhood. Lots of good guys. Not the sort of neighborhood where there's lots of bad guys, you know. My dad knows some guys down in the neighborhood where this outfitter is that we're casing out... and let me tell you, they are not good guys." He leaned over the table and said the next words conspiratorially. "Organized crime guys."

"Sure."

"Well, anyway, I think I might have talked to much. Crap! Sorry! I talk too much, I know, I'm trying to work on it!"

"You're... fine, Hi Yuan. You're fine."

"Yeah? Well, cool. Anyway..." He suddenly looked frightened. "Uh..." He seemed to need a moment to steady his nerves, then blurted out his next sentence as quickly as he could manage. "Theseareforyou," and he pushed the bouquet of flowers towards her.

"Yeah. Hi Yuan, listen, we're here for work, okay? This is not a date. This is why I wanted to meet at HQ, you know? This is not a date."

"Oh, totally! Yeah, no, I get that. I just wanted to, you know. I got these for free from a street vendor, so I thought, 'hey, uh, Ohimi likes flowers.'"

Ohimi did not particularly like flowers. "I... I do like flowers, yes. Thank you. Still, though, this is not a date."

"Not a date. Totally. Got it."

He looked a bit disappointed, but credit to him: Hi Yuan rebounded with the speed of a cheetah. "Let's get a pint before we get started, yeah?"

Nothing sounded better to Ohimi than drinking right now, so wildly out of control was her overall discomfort. She and Hi Yuan stood up, marching over to the bar where an oddly well-dressed old man was handling the bar. Ohimi half-expected him to introduce himself with some obnoxious management-mandated welcome slogan, like "Top of the Mornin' to Yeh" or something. Luckily, he seemed to have a bit too much decorum for something so self-debasing.

"What can I get you two?"

Hi Yuan was in fine form, ignoring the bartender's question. "So this is probably an Aierlanren-supporting bar, huh?"

The bartender was either not annoyed, or was so skilled at concealing being annoyed that it seemed like he truthfully was not annoyed. "Yes."

"Cool. You get a pretty big crowd to come in here for games? To watch on TV, that is." Hi Yuan pointed up to one of the several televisions that were hanging from the ceiling all around the space.

"Yes, we have a decent crowd. You an Irish supporter yourself?"

"Uhhh, no, actually, my dad's a pretty big Fuchou fan, so, you know, so am I."

"Egh," the barkeep said with a performative scowl.

"I really like Jiu Ling Geng, though! Great player!"

"Yeah, he's got what it takes, that boy."

"So good in the air! I mean, we - by we I mean the Naixi national team, of course - have got a huge set piece weapon on our hands here! He's so good in the air! Twice, now. Twice he's scored from corners for the national team! Twice in two games! What a great player."

"Yeah. He is. So, can I get you a drink? You want to look at our tap lis-"

"Great player. Ohimi, you think he's a great player, right?"

"Who?"

"Jiu Ling Geng, he plays for Aierlanren. It's a football club, this bar is a hangout for their supporters. Oh, and he also plays for the national team."

"Yeah, I know the name. Sergeant Mi never stops talking about him."

"It's true! You're so right. Sergeant Mi is a really big fan. I am too. I'm a big fan of his, too. And, you know, people said Gan Liang was crazy for benching Chun Lan Shao after the Baptism of Fire! They said that! Maybe Gan Liang is smarter than people give him credit for!"

The bartender was starting to look annoyed. Were these two morons, who were OBVIOUSLY off-duty cops, ever going to get a drink? He picked up a rack of clean pint glasses and began drying them with an unstained white rag. "To be fair," said the bartender with a frown, "maybe Gan Liang should never have started that lazy piece of crap Shao at the Baptism in the first place. Maybe then we would have won the damn thing."

"That's true," answered Hi Yuan, affecting an erudition that Ohimi correctly recognized would cause the bartender to go ballistic on them. "Ohimi, which club do you support?"

Ohimi ignored Hi Yuan. "Could we look at your tap list?" she asked politely of the bartender instead, so politely that it hurt. She didn't follow football, and wasn't going to start that conversation with Hi Yuan now.

"Yeah." The bartender shoved a laminated sheet of paper at them.

"Oh, yeah." Hi Yuan remembered why they had walked over here in the first place. "Hmmmm. Hmmmmmmmm."

"Two of those famous stouts," declared Ohimi on Hi Yuan's behalf.

"Coming right up," answered the barkeep virtually instantly.

"Come on, Hi Yuan, let's sit down. We've gotta talk over this case, yeah?"

"Oh! Yeah! Yeah, we do. It's fascinating! It looks like a really trivial thing, right? This tiny little band of half a dozen women, working at this clothing store, who are moonlighting as hookers. Really insignificant on paper! But you, know, I think there's a real chance that there are some powerful figures implicated, here. Maybe like, organized crime. Maybe. Hey, listen, though, I heard a rumor," he said as he followed Ohimi back to their table, "that you cussed out the captain for trying to assign you to this case. What was that all about?"

Don't say "it's because of you," she thought immediately to herself, don't say "it's because of you."

"It's because I don't want to be working on Vice, you know?" she answered as they sat down. "Crime is spiking across Qiawutian. Across the country, really. And of the limited number of cops we have, so few are detectives. We've got half the number of men we need, and of that half, a majority are in corrections. So why are they dispatching us to this?"

"Well, I just told you."

"Told me what?"

"Maybe it's organized crime."

"Hi Yuan, have you read the case file?" she answered skeptically as the bartender dropped off their beers. "There's nothing in the preliminary intel from the beat cops to support that."

"Hmmm. I suppose. I just think they're in a part of town where you, you know, where you might see organized crime type things occurring. Like, have you spent much time in the Seaport District?"

"No," she admitted, "but we still can't just make assumptions."

"Yeah, you're right," he said after taking an unnaturally long sip of dark brown beer, "but it's worth keeping in mind. Seems hard to imagine that six escorts can keep a roof over their heads and, you know, feel like they're safe on the street, when their cover is that they all work at a used clothing store slash sailors' outfitter."

"Maybe," Ohimi said dismissively. "Me, personally? I think the captain just doesn't take us seriously, and this is every bit as pointless as it looks. He basically told me straight up that the only reason I'm on this case is because I'm a woman. Said we 'needed somebody who could speak these broads' language.' Or something to that effect."

"He did? Oh." Hi Yuan had to think about that for a second. "Well, why are they sending me with you?"

"Don't know. Maybe they figure you're the kind of guy who can speak the johns' language," she said with a smile.

"Hey!" he said defensively. "I would never."

"You sure?" she needled, laughing.

"No, never. I've got my eye on someone else. Someone... specific." He proceeded to lean dramatically over the table and add a vulgar wink.

That pissed her off, even if he was kidding. "Hi Yuan, what did I just say earlier?! This is not, let me repeat, NOT A DA-"

He cut her off by sneezing five times, pausing, and then vigorously sneezing a sixth.

"Thought I'd never get that stuff out."

Matchday 3

Naixi 2 ⇨ Cai, Pao, Geng ⚽x1, Dong, Tian (Yep), Fen, Dai, Ti (Yuen), Yuan ⚽x1, J.T. Jin, Hsieh (Ye)
Ochre Islands 2 ⇨ Softstep, Featherborn, D'Entro, Willingham (Newcomer), Sandman ⚽x1, Lewis, Walker (Matson), Mikkels, Clearedway (Watkins ⚽x1), Gibson, Builder

12' Yellow Card ⇨ Sandman (OCH)
33' Goal ⇨ Sandman (OCH)
33' Yellow Card ⇨ Hsieh (NIX)
41' Yellow Card ⇨ Lewis (OCH)
42' Yellow Card ⇨ Ti (NIX)
46' Goal ⇨ Yuan (NIX)
50' Goal ⇨ Geng (NIX)
59' Yellow Card ⇨ Walker (OCH)
60' Yellow Card ⇨ Willingham (OCH)
63' Substitution ⇨ Tian OFF Yep ON (NIX)
64' Substitution ⇨ Clearedway OFF Watkins ON (OCH)
75' Substitution ⇨ Willingham OFF Newcomer ON (OCH)
82' Substitution ⇨ Hsieh OFF Ye ON (NIX)
82' Substitution ⇨ Ti OFF Yuen ON (NIX)
87' Substitution ⇨ Walker OFF Matson ON (OCH)
90' Yellow Card ⇨ Newcomer (OCH)
93' Goal ⇨ Watkins (OCH)

Matchday 4

Naixi 1 ⇨ Cai, Pao, Geng ⚽x1, Dong (Tan), Tian, Fen (Shao), Dai, Ti, Yuan, J.T. Jin, Hsieh (Ye)
Harry Islands 0 ⇨ Lau Nández, Che, Tom, Little Jimmy (Wilson), Joe, Ramos, Hugo (Morris), Marco, Thomas (Andrew Johnson), Matt, Artur Santos

4' Yellow Card ⇨ Hugo (HAR)
11' Yellow Card ⇨ Pao (NIX)
12' Yellow Card ⇨ Marco (HAR)
41' Yellow Card ⇨ Artur Santos (HAR)
43' Yellow Card ⇨ Ti (NIX)
60' Goal ⇨ Geng (NIX)
67' Substitution ⇨ Little Jimmy OFF Wilson ON (HAR)
75' Substitution ⇨ Hugo OFF Morris ON (HAR)
81' Yellow Card ⇨ Ramos (HAR)
88' Substitution ⇨ Fen OFF Shao ON (NIX)
89' Substitution ⇨ Thomas OFF Andrew Johnson ON (HAR)
91' Substitution ⇨ Dong OFF Tan ON (NIX)
94' Substitution ⇨ Hsieh OFF Ye ON (NIX)

[Sylestone]

Part One
Part Two

HOW TO TRAIN YOUR SENTIENT



Part Three

The Sarcav-Jones House, Avondale

---

Brett peered over his shoulder as he changed lanes, merging over into the left lane on Avondale’s so-called “busiest” road, the Abercrombie Expressway. It was his first time driving it - and the first time hitting the speed limit of 100km/h - and while possessing that cool, composed outer self, inside he was nothing but scared shitless. Thankfully, at 10am on a Monday morning, most people had already headed off to work and the already minimal number of cars on the road were long gone.

It was a good time to learn to drive. They’d left a quarter of an hour early that morning so that Brett - with only mere hours behind the wheel to his name - could take his time and not rush. Despite the extreme eco-friendly focus of Sylestone’s economy and the efficiency of the city’s public transport system, accidents and traffic jams still occurred with enough frequency to be a bit of a worry and being the first academy training session back after the Campionato Esportiva and concurrent di Bradini Cup, everyone was expected to show up. Although some training sessions were optional, others such as this were compulsory unless you had a pretty fucking good reason to miss it. Often, training sessions occurred just after school hours, with Avondale City one of the few Sylestonean clubs - along with Capitol Athletic, Pesfield Trees and Chamberley City - to undertake a prospect’s education themselves. Sure, it meant that Brett didn’t necessarily have many friends out of his little footballing sphere, but the ones that he had meant a whole lot to him.

From the Abercrombie Expressway, Brett angled the car towards the Spackle Road exit, meaning he was on the final stretch of road before he reached the academy. The total trip took around thirty minutes from his house via car or when using the train, only about another twenty minutes more than that. Living in a little pocket only mere minutes away from the Expressway, getting places via the family’s electric car proved to be exceptionally convenient and with the Edgeworth train station less a ten minute walk away, access to the entire city and beyond was at his and his family’s fingertips.

Just as Brett was about to turn off Spackle road and onto Academy Drive as the right-hand arrow shone green (they drive on the left in Sylestone) - signalling he was seconds away from reaching his destination - an intuitive, reflex realisation made him halt in his tracks. In the passenger seat, his mother opened her mouth to question Brett’s motives - after all, he had stopped literally in the middle of the intersection with a green arrow - but before she could, the answer seared through her vision. In the lane he was about to cross into, an old sports car screamed past at the speed of light, fumes puffing from its engine. As well as going at about 5000 km/h and running a red light, cars that release fumes into the environment are strictly prohibited across Sylestone but when they’re going that fast, you can’t exactly react in time to catch their number plate and report them to the local police.

But Brett was shaken. Unfortunately, idiots on the road were one of the things that resulted from a lack of traffic but never in his sixteen years had Brett do something as reckless as that on the roads. If he had not recognised the danger and stopped suddenly, there was absolutely zero chance anyone involved would have survived the resulting crash. And with the individual behind the wheel only holding a learner’s permit, to even come that close with death on the roads could put someone off driving for life.

Not Brett, though. If there’s one trait that defines his personality, it’s determination. After all, he literally ran away from home to try and take the train to the Sentient city of Kirkham when he was seven years old, a few weeks before his mother finally returned from the Meville Rainforest after years of being guarded and nurtured by Irundji locals. As far as Brett was concerned, if he kept on driving then that would make it one more sensible driver on the road and one more person people could trust to get them to a place safely.

* * *

City Academy Training Centre, Avondale

Five minutes later

---

24 pairs of eyes turned in unison as Brett entered the door, waving in apology at the frowning face of manager Connor Downes. Even though it was 10:04 in the morning and that session was scheduled for ten o’clock on the dot, Downes hated tardiness, with the belief that any form of slacking off showed a lack of commitment to the team. In response, the scrawny 16-year-old signalled he’d explain later and took his seat, fully aware of the eyes on him.

In doing so, Brett’s eyes had missed the little plastic cushion someone had placed on his seat - something they did every single time someone was late to a compulsory training session. The same 24 pairs of eyes remained on him as he cautiously slid his bottom onto the seat, the cushion releasing an almighty RRRRRRRRIP as it deflated.

As if he had cut it with a knife, the tension in the room immediately deflated. Even the stern head coach himself couldn’t stop a small grin forming on his face as the rest of the room erupted into laughter, Brett’s face flushing like a raspberry. With a quick flick of the wrist, Brett slung the whoopee cushion back at midfielder George Skeyhill - no doubt the catalyst of this prank - and with a bit of pure luck, struck him right below the abdomen, just where it hurts.

With that, the eruption of laughter burst yet again, this time intensifying to a roar as George tumbled to the floor, his face a mix of astonishment, pain and amusement. All of the seriousness that was still emanating from the room prior to the episode with the whoopee cushion was immediately distinguished like a watered fire as half the team found themselves on the floor, absolutely hysterical. It took Downes a solid five minutes to regain the attention of everyone in the room and even then, a few glances between players resulted in stifled smirks as a 35-year-old man stared them down, daring them to open their mouths.

Hell, even Brett temporarily forgot about the near-death experience he had been through minutes beforehand.

* * *

“Brett,” came the calling voice of Brett’s close mate Jayden Hackett as he jogged off the field, craving the refreshing burst of energy a bottle of water would give him as he wandered back to the changing rooms. Turning ever so slightly in reflex, he found himself immediately overwhelmed as the lean body of the 17-year-old boy smashed into his back, nearly sending them both tumbling to the path as they both roared with laughter despite their aches.

“You’re bloody good, you know that, right? No wonder they’ve given you a pro contract and invited you to first team training. How have you been over the break, mate? I saw you were in South Newlandia, how was that? Got to see your own slice of history, didn’t ya?”

As Brett jumped up, he nodded in agreement. “Yeah, it was a birthday present from the family. Good game to watch, too. Never thought I’d see a Sylestonean side concede that many goals!”

Chortling in jest at Brett’s cheeky response, Jayden responded “Anything else?”

Brett immediately darkened and although he consciously attempted to brighten up again, the look had not been lost on Jayden.

“What’s wrong?”
“Oh nothing,” Brett replied, waving his hand. “Just some incident while I was driving here this morning.”

But Jayden was insistent. “Mate, what happened?”

Brett sighed in defeat. Once Jayden got something in his head, there was no way he was budging until he found out everything. So Brett launched into the story, adding a fair few expletives to embellish the plot line that were a fair step up from the “idiot” and “crap” he had known as a seven year old. Either way, the story must’ve been pretty damn good, because by the time he was finished, Jayden was ashen.

“Yeah, I’ll just stick to public transport, shall I? Fuck me, we have some idiots in this country.”

---

Gran Saguaro vs Sylestone @ Somewhere, Gran Saguaro

Gran Saguaro (4-2-3-1): Cruz ( 61’); Rodríguez (McCormick 78’) - Kirkman - Martínez ( 42’) (Gayoso 64’) - Rillo; Choupa - Gonzaga ( 90+5’); Palomo (Rosado 64’) - Zoido ( 19’) (di Zappi 64’) - Dayton; Odio (Garcia Perez 90+2’)

Sylestone (4-4-1-1 → 5-4-1): Brick Wall; Holt ( 56’) (Mornington 68’) - Washing Machine - Hand Sanitiser - Toilet; Cayden Holmes ( 90’) - Paterson ( 83’) (Pearson 86’) - Rodway; Fridge (Fullers 68’); Love (Keyes 68’ ( 77’)); Hightower

Guan Saguaro 0-1 Sylestone
                                                                Rodway 45'

Sylestone vs Eura @ Avondale International Sports Stadium, Avondale

Sylestone (4-4-1-1 → 4-2-3-1): Fuller; Holt (Davis 61’) - Mornington - Pearson ( 48’) - Dishwasher (Keller 61’); Henling - Blair - Brown ( 70’) (Lawson 82’) - Jones; Fleetwood; Hightower (Tumble Dryer 46’ ( 60’))

Eura (4-2-3-1): Key; Reeve - Sherwood ( 80’) - Menard - Read ( 14’); Cole - Stewart (Gates 85’); Douglas ( 82’) - Singh (Clarke 70’) - Malone (Barnes 70’); Sharp (Brookfield 85’)

Sylestone 0-1 Eura
                                                                 Singh 50'

---

Starting Lineup vs Kandorith @ Empress Masumi Stadium, Kandorith

Fuller; Davis - Mornington - Hand Sanitiser - Keller; Cayden Holmes - Rodway - Brown - Fridge; Keyes; Hightower

Starting Lineup vs Osarius @ Walgabba Dome, Kirton, Sylestone

Cavendish; Ironing Board - Damasekara - Faucett - Toilet; Stanton - Bar Stool - Lawson - Fridge; Love; Strathfield

[Stevencousin]

MD	GAME                                	STADIUM           	CITY         	SPONSORSHIP
MD1	Stevencousin 1-3 Graintfjall         	Federal Unity Stadium	Cassaholm	VioletFalcon
MD2	Qasden 0-0 Stevencousin             	NA                    	NA            	NA
MD3	Stevencousin 2-0 Natanians and Nosts	Federal Unity Stadium	Cassaholm	Anthro Capital
MD4	Kirungabi 3-2 Stevencousin          	NA                    	NA            	NA
MD5	Stevencousin v. Gyatso-Kai        	Federal Unity Stadium	Cassaholm	KeyCommerce
MD6	Canadian Dominion v. Stevencousin	NA                    	NA            	NA
MD7	Stevencousin v. Adab                 	Federal Unity Stadium	Cassaholm	Fairborne Computer
MD8	Dod Rava v. Stevencousin           	NA                    	NA            	NA
MD9	Stevencousin v. Yuezhou                 Federal Unity Stadium	Cassaholm	Arthurlie Foods
MD10	Ceni v. Stevencousin                  	NA                    	NA            	NA
MD11	Stevencousin v. Talamia             	Federal Unity Stadium	Cassaholm	Glenwolf Trading
MD12	Graintfjall v. Stevencousin         	NA                    	NA            	NA
MD13	Stevencousin v. Qasden             	Redfort Camp    	Brigketh	Sabretooth Investment
MD14	Natanians and Nosts v. Stevencousin     NA                 	NA            	NA
MD15	Stevencousin v. Kirungabi               Redfort Camp    	Brigketh	BlackOxygen
MD16	Gyatso-Kai v. Stevencousin        	NA                    	NA            	NA
MD17	Stevencousin v. Canadian Dominion	Waxwood Circle        	Holmdock	Spitfire
MD18	Adab v. Stevencousin                 	NA                    	NA            	NA
MD19	Stevencousin v. Dod Rava           	Waxwood Circle        	Holmdock	Sentinel EC
MD20	Yuezhou v. Stevencousin            	NA                    	NA            	NA
MD21	Stevencousin v. Ceni                  	Readymann Ground	Fixmouth	Fingerworth Lubricant
MD22	Talamia v. Stevencousin             	NA                    	NA              NA

Stadium Data
Stadium:: Federal Unity Stadium
Nearest City:: Cassaholm
Capacity:: 98,500
Brief Data:: The biggest stadium in Stevencousin, located in the Carmenzon District to the south of the city center of Stevencousin's capital city, Cassaholm, is an all-seater multi-purpose stadium for international concerts, weddings and sporting events and the home ground of the Stevencousin national football team. It was built by Posquieiras Heavy Engineering and designed by Billingeburg & Co. Interestingly, the stadium is not public property, nor is it managed by a sports association. The owner is the Federal Unity conglomerate group. They sponsor and cover the construction and renovation costs in full, but they also get various government mega-projects afterward.

MD 03::: Stevencousin 2-0 Natanians and Nosts
Stadium:: Federal Unity Stadium
Attendence:: 89,861
Stevencousin Scorer:: Arnaud Zubar ֎ min. 32 & Gerard Kallstrom ֎ min. 80
Natanians and Nosts Scorer:: NIL

MD 04::: Kirungabi 3-2 Stevencousin
Stadium:: Abongereza Olympic Arena, Abongereza
Capacity:: 21,500
Kirungabi Scorer:: Munyentwali Niyonzima ֎ min. 3, 29 & Rugira Rurangwa ֎ min. 89
Stevencousin Scorer:: Brian Mastroeni ֎ min. 69 & Jochen Boi ֎ min. 80

NEXT MATCH
MD	GAME                                	STADIUM           	CITY         	SPONSORSHIP
MD5	Stevencousin v. Gyatso-Kai        	Federal Unity Stadium	Cassaholm	KeyCommerce
MD6	Canadian Dominion v. Stevencousin       NA                      NA              NA

De Schutter
Ali - Bernstein - Correia - Aas
Zubar (C)
Peeters -  Jayamanna -  Snajdr
Voloshyn - Mastroeni

[Krytenia]

The Widow And The Knave
By Rami Niblick in Norton

WATCH out world, the brakes are finally off on the Dragons. After a cagey win over the CRC, a narrow defeat to Tikariot borne on the shoulder of a moment of terrible judgement from goalkeeper Amanda Bach, and needing two late goals to pick up the three points in Guanacasteca, Krytenia hit their stride at the Munitis Arena to remind the rest of Group Thirteen that yes, they would very much like to make it to the World Cup. Angus Jack was the star of the show, whilst Bach was composed - if somewhat bored for large portions of the game - between the sticks as the Dragons completed a six-one drubbing of Raspotochje to haul themselves up to third place in the table.

Nine of the eleven that eventually defeated Guanacasteca retained their places in the team, with Bach returning after her one-game suspension, and Greg Williams making his debut in the slightly unfamiliar role of half-forward with Mark Petracchi out with a thigh strain. The main difference in the team, though, was not personnel, but attitude. In their three previous matches, Krytenia had been a little pedestrian in the early exchanges, working behind the jab whilst they figured out their opposition. There was no such caginess here, though, as the Dragons set out to lay down haymakers all over the damn shop. Williams, to his credit, looked comfortable in his withdrawn role, knowing when to push forward with Jack and when to commit an extra body to the midfield. With the extra options, Scott Stringer was in hog heaven in the centre of the park, with choices for the incisive ball all over the pitch. The likes of Mladen Robulović and Wan Su Huilin are no slouches, but hey were simply overworked through Stringer and Savannah Quinn's ability to spread the play and stretch the lines. The writing was almost on the wall two minutes in when Owen Haller cut dangerously into the box; though the winger found Jack with a lovely cutback, Ilija Matić raced across to block the WSR striker's effort. It was to be the beginning of a long day for the Raspotochje defence.

With the Dragons looking imperious, it was merely a question of when, rather than if, Krytenia would take the lead. The home fans wouldn't have to wait long, as with the clock still in single digits, some quick play between Quinn, Stringer, and Williams pulled the back line completely out of whack, allowing Jack to latch on to a pass unmarked and smash the ball past an exposed Vladimir Donskoy to open the sky blue account. That lead would double a scant seven minutes later as Quinn again found the perfect pass, releasing Liam Hayes on the right wing. His cross was met by the head of Jack for his second with poor Donskoy in no-man's land.

Moments of respite were few and far between for Raspatochje, with the relentless pressure of what amounted to a Krytenian front six treatening to crush them like a car in a scrapyard. There were brief flashes of hope, though, with Bach called to make a decent save from a speculative effort from Katarina Gerotić. Truth be told, though, long range sighters were all that the visitors could manage, with Robert Gorman and Sonny Chiesa marshalling the back line well. That said, Krytenia grabbing a third before the break was probably fair on the balance of things. Indeed, the biggest surprise was that it wasn't Angus Jack putting the chance away. A Haller free-kick looked like it was drifting harmlessly out of play, but some quick reactions from Justin Darcy allowed him to keep the play alive and hook the ball back into the box, where Gorman swung a leg at it and managed to poke the ball through the crowd and into the net. A little fortunate, perhaps, but nothing less than the Dragons deserved for a ruthless first half performance.

If the visitors were hoping for some respite after the break, they were sorely mistaken. BXE's charges were in no mood for charity, and this time they did get the early goal, essentially killing the tie as a contest when Jack pounced on a deflected Williams shot to complete his hat-trick. Anyone who doubted the wisdom of his big money move to Ko-oren can now officially shut up and kiss his matchball. Jack wasn't done yet, either, adding a fourth shortly before the hour after beating Pavao Kerović for pace and beating Donskoy once again. That officially marked "job done" as far as the coaching staff were concerned, and Jack, Quinn, and Chiesa were all taken off shortly after. Their powder would be kept dry for another day; for Gil Sanchez, Ryan Holtz, and Derek Higgins, meanwhile, it meant some minutes in the sky blue.

Higgins probably would have been happier back on the bench after what happened next. With the game well and truly won at five-nil, the Hibs defender woefully underhit a backpass, and Robert Kiltić accepted the gift with glee, slotting past the flailing limbs of an underworked Bach to at least grab a consolation for the away side. With the chance of a clean sheet gone, and the game well and truly in the bag, the game mostly died off at this point. I say "mostly" because Sanchez is nothing if not persistent - also a bad-tempered pain in the backside, but that's not relevant here - and when Williams laid the ball off to him on the edge of the area, quick feet (and solid shoulder) prevailed as "El Tiburón" got away from his marker to put even more of a crimp on Donskoy's day.

The bandwagon is well and truly rolling, then; the tricky thing now is stopping it from careening off the tracks and into the mineshaft. What this means is that more of this ruthlessness is required from Krytenia. Before their World Cup 91 playoff against Jeruselem, I mentioned that Krytenia needed to embrace being the villain. That still holds true; in football, it's better to be feared than loved. If that means that Oscioru and Atheara are shaking in their living rooms chanting "can't sleep, Sanchez will eat me", so be it. Also, he probably would given half the chance. Onward!

KRYTENIA - 6
Jack 9, 16, 47, 59
Gorman 43
Sanchez 81

RASPATOCHJE - 1
Kiltić 63

[HUElavia]

Savigliane 3–1 HUElavia
(Roux 31', 85', Chastain 52' | Amezcua 43')

HUElavia 2–0 Katterimunk
(Al-Baddour 33', Dupont 56')
Estadio Antonio Fernandez Sganyodaiyo, Rebes

Highs and Lows!

HUElavia drops points with a tough loss to Savigliane but regains momentum over Katterimunk.

Despite such a blistering performance by the team on Matchdays 1 and 2, the team had their first genuine test on Matchday 3: Savigliane. The Pot 1 team would pose as the most difficult opponent for Los Amarillos/Os Amarelos in the qualifiers. While there was some sense of dread for Matchday 3, there was some optimism for Matchday 4 where the team was facing off against Katterimunk at home.

The first match was fairly competitive for the 1st half before it unraveled in the 2nd half. The opening goal was in the 31st minute when a cross by Chastain went into the box where Roux won the ball from Curichimba to chest the ball down and send it past Casillas into the goal to make it 1-0, sending the crowd wild. In the 44th minute, a foul by Dutto over Aveiro gave way for a free kick, where Amezcua took the shot, sent it over the wall and past the fingertips of D'Ambrosio into the goal, making it 1-1 to silence the crowd. The second half was a debacle though, as HUElavia showed their weakness, where a hard press from the team in the 52nd minute saw Dutto dispossess Nascimento and send a long ball to Gastaldo, who was being chased and covered by Couto, where they gave a pass back to their left before Chastain ripped a blistering, curving shot past the reach of Casillas into the goal, making it 2-1 and sending the crowd into a delirium for the spectacular goal. In the 85th minute, a hard foul by Mayordomo over Arnaudo gave the midfielder a red card (a rare occurrence in HUElavian football), and a free kick was won, where Chastain sent the ball into the box, and Roux chested the ball down to give a spectacular flip to send the shot past the deflecting fingertips of Casillas into the goal, making it 3-1 and the crowd was going crazy over the great goal. The game ended shortly after and HUElavia had their first blemish in these qualifiers, slipping to 3rd Place.

The second match saw a rotation of the entire squad, as Coach Aveiro felt there was a need for young players to get their start against Katterimunk. In the 33rd minute, Ryang was on the ball, sending a long cross forward towards Koga, before it was headed down by Shayar, but in the deflection down, it got to the foot of Al-Baddour, who nutmegged Shaha before going one-on-one with Soraski, giving a low shot past the goalie into the goal, making it 1-0. The crowd erupted in joy as the team took the lead while Al-Baddour knelt to the ground, as part of his Islamic faith, and gave praise for his first ever senior goal, while his teammates hugged him in celebration. Despite chances taken by Katerimunk, the defensive backline stood stout and the few times the ball would get through, the goalkeeping of Peirano would keep it at 1-0 for the half. In the 56th minute, a corner was taken by Chi where it floated into the box, getting headed out by Loesteen before it fell to the feet of Ueyama, where he passed to his right to Dupont, which she sent a low shot past the side of Soraski into the goal, making it 2-0. The crowd jumped up once more in cheer, while Dupont was with tears in her eyes for scoring her first ever goal in her senior debut, getting hugs from her teammates. Despite chances from players like Lorenz and Khomov, HUElavia held strong and maintained the lead, getting another victory in the process.

After four matchdays, Milchama sits in 1st Place with 12 Points (4-0-0), followed by Savigliane in 2nd Place with 10 Points (3-1-0) and HUElavia in 3rd Place with 9 Points (3-0-1). Los Amarillos/Os Amarelos will travel to 4th Placed Olastor on Matchday 5 to keep the momentum going, followed by hosting 12th placed Melbergia in Estadio do Oro (45,000) in Ourao. The team continues to train hard and study film of their upcoming opponents, while the fans have optimism that the team can make some noise and get points in the upcoming matches. The team is enjoying the new looks of their uniforms and it seems that the fans feel confident with the new colors and designs that feel are truly HUElavian. Here's to hoping for good results in the next two games!

FORCA HUELAVIA! VAMOS HUELAVIA! GO HUELAVIA!

[Jeruselem]

Princess Mila (naked) with a plain looking woman, Jeruselem manager Faye Swift ...

Mila: HELLO, this is Princess Mila for Naked News Jeruselem. We're back home at Dazza Dallas Stadium playing round 4 of the World Cup 93 qualification. I'm with Faye Swift, the recently appointed manager. You may not recognise her at all, apparently no one other than family and co-workers do.
Faye: Oh hi everyone. Yes, I'm that Faye Swift, the Jeruselem manager.
Mila: You seem to be the type of person, people don't seem to recognise as the person in authority. Like just someone in the background.
Faye: Err yeah, my looks are so generic that I don't have any particular features that would stand out. Especially standing next to such a pretty girl like you.
Mila: I'm not that pretty, my sister is better looking.
Faye: In my family, you'd be like a supermodel.

Mila: Before we get too deep in the interview, let's review today's results as well reminding people what happened last round as well.
Faye: Good idea
Mila: Round 3 of qualification, saw Jeruselem once again going away. It was against our old friends Quakmybush who have been better times but we can't be nice to them for the sake of it. Well we beat them up 4-0, I think they kind of expected that after losing 2-0 to New Gelderland. Sylestone got their first win, beating Gran Saguaro in Gran Saguaro with 1-0 win. Eura brushed aside Tjorl 2-0 at home to inflict Tjorl's first loss. Kandorith at home weren't troubled and beat The Cordian Isles 3-0. Osarius, well ... slaughtered visiting Rouyoute 7-1. You could say it was a Rouyoute. New Gelderland kept on winning with 2-0 win over Bongo Johnson at home
Faye: I would say, that round more normal that the first two.
Mila: Slow start from the top 3 seeds but it seems they are getting round back to what people expect.
Faye: We do have a dreadful habit of losing a game very early, but that's part of the learning process.

Mila: Now, it's now round 4 and we're back home. The visitors were Bongo Johnson, and ... for some reason all the idiots with Bongo drums decided to turn up today.
Faye: Oh yes, you hate Bongo drums.
Mila: I prefer badly tuned violins to Bongo drums. Anyway, despite the Bongo drums ... Jeruselem did score their first home win 4-2. Bongo Johnson were better than Quakmybush and put up a fight but didn't have firepower to beat Jeruselem today.
Faye: Well, I did make a few changes from the last time we played at home.
Mila: It seems we're making progress, 8 goals in two games.
Faye: Don't get ahead of yourself, we haven't been properly tested at all. But we're scoring goals now, we lost at home last time because we couldn't score and that put far too much work on the defense.

Mila: Jeruselem two wins in row, after the home loss. So how would the others do? Rouyoute who got Rouyouted 7-1, faced undefeated New Gelderland at home. And they won 1-0! No idea what's going on there but New Gelderland have lost their undefeated status. Just weird. The Cordian Isles hosted Osarius who won their last game 7-1, except The Cordian Isles won 2-1 and put that winning streak to grinding halt. Tjorl at home had to face top seed Kandorith, after losing to 2nd top seed Eura recently. Sadly for Tjorl, Kandorith did beat them 1-0 so Tjorl have a two game losing streak now. Sylestone went down to Eura 1-0 at home, brave effort for sure but Eura too good. Quakmybush back home but they still lost. Gran Saguaro beat them 1-0. For some reason there were FOUR 1-0 wins in Group 8.
Faye: I just noticed that
Mila: We're the outlyer with thr 4-2 win.
Faye: A win is a win, but we kinda need to boost our goal difference.
Mila: Yes well, the Group 8 table has completedly changed. The top 3 are Kandorith, Eura and Jeruselem with New Gelderland 4th. Quakmybush are the only with no points. Osarius actually have highested goal difference and placed 5th but that one game kinda distorted the statistics.
Faye: They scored half their goals in one game.

Mila: Sylestone conceding 3 goals in 4 games? Only Kandorith and Eura have conceded less.
Faye: It's a good basis but scoring 2 goals in 4 games is criminal. They have to look at that.
Mila: Now, back to you. Your entire life is ... rather, boring or ordinary. No sex scandals, nothing particularly exciting, no saucy stuff. You're like an ordinary citizen just doing your job.
Faye: That's pretty much it, I know I don't have much of a personality and people don't really like interviewing me because I am boring. They'd rather talk to someone like you even if you do talk too much.
Mila: Actually, don't people overseas think you're just one of the support staff until they check who you actually are.
Faye: Maybe people expect the more eccentric managers from Jeruselem like Pekora Dancer with her bunny suit or the typical Dallas supermodel type.

Mila: Maybe you simply don't have the commanding presence so people don't notice you
Faye: Well, not everyone has to be big boss that everyone notices.
Mila: Overseas, the media prefer to talk to your players than you.
Faye: Well, the players are a diverse lot and far more interesting to talk to.
Mila: Next up, the next two games are an away and home. Gran Saguaro away and Rouyoute at home.
Faye: Have to take every game differently, especially away games. We can't take any team for granted, like did with New Gelderland.

Mila: Well, 3 wins from 4. Keep up the good work.
Faye: You can only do your best, that's what I promise will happen with me.
Mila: You don't promise miracles or dreams
Faye: I deal with reality and practical solutions, not delusions. Reality is a true equalizer to people denying reality.
Mila: That's it from me, see you all later in Gran Saguaro then back here against Rouyoute.
Faye: Yeah see you later ...

[Sharktail]

The Sharktail Super League continues for the second match. The 3 teams that won the first game will try to continue their winning streak. However, one of the two teams namely Real Jeram FC and Kota Jembal FC will return home with defeat when the two teams are scheduled to face each other at the Jerakin Municipal Stadium.

Even so, we left the Jerakin Stadium and moved to Kota Lama Stadium. The SSL 15 champions managed to get their first win of the season. Present with the cheers of almost 20,000 of their die-hard supporters, Kota Lama FC won 2-0.

Sri Irama FC, fresh from their first win, had to settle for a more experienced Kota Lama FC squad. Their chemistry with new tactician Austin Song is still lacking. It's still too early to say because Austin has only managed them for 2 games, so for Kota Lama FC with a squad that has blended together, so everyone will expect them to break the opponent's attack and find weak spots in the opponent's formation. Sharktail star Azaim added to his assist collection, helping Suhaimi Nazmi score the first goal. Even so, Kota Lama had to wait almost half-time before the second goal was scored through a header from veteran striker, Shahrul.

Had a chance to give a brief comment after the match, Shahrul praised the fighting spirit from Sri Irama FC.

"They make us sweat and work hard. They are good, just tonight we have them. Keep a good work."

Returning to the entire matchday 2, the results of other matches are also interesting for us to see. Two clubs that often occupy the bottom of the league, Kota Sultan FC and Seri Meranti drew without a goal. It looks like a tight match but not really matter cause they are considered complementary to the schedule. Kota Lama Ranger continued their up-and-down performance over the past few years, and this time they were humiliated by Real Chiku FC 3-0. What a night they had to go through. Indusse's import, Bachun Butea finally score his 1st goal this season, helping Kuala Town FC beat Teluk Diraja FC 3-1. Bakti United FC need to quickly find their weak points. This time they lost to Lembah Gunung 1-0. And according to our early summary, it Kota Jembal vs Real Jeram FC. Kota Jembal surely on fire. Win Aziz and Bagari Siswara being the pain for all opponent keeper. Real Jeram FC was silent and humiliated in front of their own supporters with a 3-0 result.

[Yakk]

Emperor Nyam-Orgil shows support for Rülândéá and Induja.

YAK EMPIRE - As a new conflict arises in the Atlantian Oceania region, it's the time for Emperor Nyam-Orgil I to take the stand and make a stand. And making a stand he did, giving a speech today in front of many football fans and even fans of the opposing Euran Oceanic Territories. In a somewhat impromptu speach delivered at the First ever international matchup at the new Imperial Stadium, he talked on about the situation in Farfadillis. Emperor Nyam-Orgil talk to length mainly on how he wants to make the Yak Empire a safe haven for any Farves looking for refuge. He talked about how much his experiences of being forced to flee his own homeland helped shape him and his views. Emperor Nyam-Orgil was himself exiled from his homeland for over 20 years after the a military junta killed his father and overtook the nation. The Emperor only lived due to him and his mother leaving for a holiday,mere hours before the coup that killed his father took place.

Emperor Nyam-Orgil said he is planning to take in refugees from Farfadillias. He also announced that he is starting a recruitment drive for the YEBG or the Yak Empire Border Guard. YEBG, is responsible not only for the border crossings in the Empire but also any other port of entry is maintained by agents of the Border Guard. This is largely do to the departments of the Border Guard and National Customs, having merged many many years ago. He realized that with the predicted influx of possible Farves, it would be imperative to get extra help to help process the sudden influx of paperwork the Border guard is likely to deal with.

As stated above Emperor Nyam-Orgil was in Exile for over 20 years. For those unfamiliar with that, this took place during what the Yakkian people call "The Black Eye" period. A military Junta lead by a military colonel threw a coup d'etat in the capital of Alangabat and killed the ruling emperor, who was Nyam-Orgil's father. For the next couple of decades, Nyam-Orgil lived in neighboring nations for two years, before eventually returning to the Yak region and taking back leadership of the nation.

Many of the small but vocal minority of Nationalists who have opposed the emperors noteworthy progressive policies, have responded to the speech. Many like Urangut Tseng have said it was a pompus thing to do and called it "unnecessary", other such as Jozef Zagdev have said its going to let riff-raff in. A large number of these nationalist have been against Emperor Nyam-Orgil due to his increasingly progressive politics towards the Lhaskans in the north. Historically the Lhaskans have had a long history of warfare during the early part of the previous millennium and after finally being conquered by Yakkian forces in the 1500s have long been seen differently from the Mongol and Turkic population of the Yak Empire. Needless to say, Nyam-Orgil has done a lot for them in an attempt Bring his empire forward in the modern world.

YAK EMPIRE - 1
Sohkmaat Tsedinaat 29'

---

EURAN ANAIAN TERRITORIES - 1
UNKOWN 87'

YAK EMPIRE - 0
NONE'

---

SHARKTAIL - 3
Razen Saif 18' 44'
Tenzig Lhi 60' (OG)

[Zwangzug]

The Kerlagrad Courier

Zwangzug made it look easy against unheralded Greater Kamilistan, with Lukas Helsen-Roan sending a chip shot into the high corner just three minutes into the game. Ryota Imamura added on eleven minutes later, and from there, it was smooth sailing, with the dour but determined Ashley Fillmore-Gaul controlling lots of possession at the back. Substitute Saroj Kinnar scored her first goal for the national team in minute 71.

But then it was off to what looked like, on paper, the toughest match of the qualifying stage--away in Cassadaigua, at none other than the Peak'n'Break Stadium in Grande Mountain, home of the delicious Double Muffin Special. After a nervy first half, a flurry of goals shortly after the restart saw Zwangzug emerge 2-1 victors on the road. Kate DiMarini urged caution, as ever on guard against complacency, but particularly under the circumstances, while admitting her satisfaction with the result.

The first half saw the Fillies' defense take control, in front of 66,000 vocal home fans who had savored their Bagel Delights. Rachel Becker, a more physical player, was rested in favor of Hailey Meyer, a more direct match for Zwangzug's quieter approach. Ryota Imamura had a few glances at goal, but Stacie Thornton's impressive vision--bolstered by half-price Carrot Cake Spectacular--thwarted any attack.

At halftime, newcomer Jude McWaler came on for Farrokh Sokhi, as DiMarini tried to introduce fresh legs into the midfield to crowd out the aging Dagan trio. The move paid off almost immediately, as four minutes after the restart, McWaler assisted Imamura for the opener. But Cassadaigua weren't fazed, and after the restart, a long back-and-forth series between Chloe Anderson and Rachel Boldin dominate possession, much like the Buyanese Waffle dominates your plate. When Anderson's shot in minute 54 deflected off the crossbar, Boldin was there to head it home for the equalizer.

With the game opening up somewhat, Meghna Imomenba fell back to control the back line. Freda Tery-Wilf was left to zoom back and forth in trying to shut down Carly Patterson, and when a Morgan Rosenblatt pass sailed out of play, the irrepressible Meredith Ryland came in with another grandiose throw-in, which fell to where Jordan McKinney had been lurking. He tried to curl it in, but there was some dispute over whether he'd been onsides. The referee, who was sluggish after enjoying what was probably some delightful Azertienne Toast, took a while to watch the video replay, but ultimately decreed it a goal, what proved to be the eventual winner.

Anderson had the best chance of the remaining half-hour, diverting a free kick from Kelsey Werth in minute 74, but Ketevan Igreli punched it away at close range. Igreli's fans like to boast that she has ice water in her veins, but that sounds uncomfortable, and she should really try a Splendid Sunrise juice blend instead.

Zwangzug remain perfect through four games, and will head home to face Cormoe in 102d before visiting Ingont, who the baseball Zebras met in the WBC56 group stage. While their performance in this match will be rightly celebrated, there's still a long way to go. And you don't want to peak--or break--too early.

[Baggieland]

Rogue Submarine

Øystein, Hannah and Killer Bob had been wondering how they'd get from Gnejs to Baggieland, but right in front of their eyes was HMS Onslaught berthed at Port Ekvik docks.

Hannah: "This is fantastic Øystein!"

Øystein: "Umm… excuse me, but am I missing something here? Why is this fantastic?"

Hannah: "Øystein, you worked onboard that rust-bucket for two years. You can sail us to Baggieland."

Øystein: "I was only ever employed in the logistics department, plus a bit of dish-washing. I have no idea how that thing operates!"

Killer Bob: "Gordon Bennett Øye, you really are a muppet. You must have learned something during that time. Are the crew onboard?"

Øystein: "It doesn't look like it. They're probably all on shore-leave – getting drunk and starting fights with the locals – although there might be a skeleton crew onboard."

Killer Bob handed a sidearm to Øystein and Hannah. Then they boarded the submarine, surprising the only two onboard, Captain Fletcher and Sub-Lieutenant Travis.

Captain Fletcher: "Killer Bob, ye be a traitor too… joining Landsman Øye?"

Hannah: "RIGHT YOU MOTHER-FUCKING MOTHER-FUCKERS. IT WAS YOU LOT THAT TOOK MY HUSBAND AWAY FROM ME, LEAVING ME TO BRING UP A FAMILY ALL BY MYSELF, WITH VAGUE PROMISES OF FINANCIAL COMPENSATION THAT NEVER FUCKING ARRIVED! WE'RE TAKING OVER THIS BOAT, SO PISS OFF NOW OR I WON'T HESITATE TO SHOOT YOU IN THE BOLLOCKS!"

Killer Bob: "Impressive."

The two officers – shocked into compliance – headed onto terra firma.

Killer Bob: "So what's first then Øye?"

Øystein: "I guess we turn the engines on first."

Killer Bob: "I'm mechanically-minded, I'll have them up and running soon."

Soon after, the ageing diesel engines spluttered into life.

Hannah: "Take us to Baggieland Øystein!"

Øystein: "Okay… the maps are kept here. It looks like Baggieland is east-south-east of Gnejs. Petty Officer Rollins was the helmsman, he always sat here and moved that wheel-thingy."

Hannah: "East-south-east… I guess that wheel should be turned this much."

Killer Bob: "We'll be in Baggieland in no time, see Øye, operating this thing is a piece of cake!"

Three Hours Later

Hannah, who had been enjoying the view from the bridge on the conning tower…

Hannah: "There's land, we made it to Baggieland."

Killer Bob cut the engines, then the submarine drifted – a little violently – onto a deserted shore.

Killer Bob: "Right, let's head inland then we can start about bringing the Lodge down!"

After walking for an hour, they came across signs of civilisation.

Øystein: "There's a flag flying from that building – wait, that's not the Baggielandian flag – that's the flag of Electrum!"

[Delte]

---

Delte 2-2 Brenecia
Sports Correspondent Kim Samrodd at Ildemorton Road for the Deltemouth Tide Times

---

I won't dwell overly long on the finer details of this match, but certainly mention should be made of Irki Mynster's late double to pull The Reps back from the brink of defeat to earn another point against a former world champion, albeit one that is playing like an unranked tin pot puppet returner under the yoke of a roster penalty and three days from a CTE (cataclysmic termination event). Cries of 'you're getting sacked in the morning' from the furious 150 Brenecians who managed to find their way to the valley for a surprising capitulation were Derdriu Wright's only reward for applauding their efforts at the end of another worrying performance from her top-20 charges. The Representatives took advantage of a surprising lack of confidence to claw their way back into the game and snatch a deserved point against a mighty team fallen on tricky times. Coach Clentin had his players sportingly apologise to Coach Wright at the end for making her employment status so entirely precarious.

At the same time, or maybe a few minutes before...

---

Hopal 1-2 Delte
Tug Boat Captain & Temporary Player-Reporter Austin Lyepolde in Hopton for Up The Reps Football Fanzine

---

I've been briefed not to dwell overly long on the finer details of our match here in the Union of Democrats region (they seem very suspicious of outsiders) but suffice it to say the Away Team Mission celebrated another brace from our captain and coach Enor Perro who has decided to do everything himself on this mission, and his four goals equals Tai Cerotha's away record in World Cup 91 after just two games. And we think his opener from the kick-off, after 44 seconds of play, is the fastest goal in the short history of Deltic football in the Continuous World Cup. Tomorrow we are off to Nilópolis to take on the ominous sounding Super Top. Apparently they build hydrogen bombs that make the ground shake, according to their factbook, though why is not clear.

I hear the home team drafted up a pink slip for Derdriu Wright, put it in an envelope marked 'Personnel' and sent it to the Brenecian FA. Another valuable (and rare) point against a former world champion, well done boys!

---

Ready Player 12: Enor Perro
Vignettes of The Representatives

---

Defensive midfielder, real age 22 (Deltic time) or 27-ish (in the Far Faraway, inc. Farfadillis), for Rülândéá Kôstä; professional footballer (the only professional footballer from the Valley)

When Kôstä stunned the world (or at least, the Deltic Parole Board) by signing young Deltic midfielder Enor Perro, who was on license to play in Farfadillis in Baptism of Fire ’78, it was local young defender Lídôr Rônçö who buddied up with the new foreigner in town to help him settle in. Though Rülândéá was a complete and utter shock to the Deltic team from the quiet valleys of the North Pacific, Enor himself was surprisingly adaptable to the terrifying perpetual riot that is Lìbêrêtê city, so he and Lídôr formed a strong social bond in those early days when Lídôr himself was still an emerging youth player with occasional trips out for the senior Kôstä team. Enor was particularly fond of spending time in the surrounding districts with the family Rônçö, who more or less adopted the charming Enor as one of their own. And it was in the districts that Enor was first introduced to Uncle Rôbé and his xhírrínxhï brewing still. Uncle Rôbé, who may or may not have been Lídôr’s real uncle, was a master fermenter and produced a legendary aguardiente which he called ‘Saint Mary’s Breath’ but which was known for miles around as Mârïà Lôçô for reasons which likely do not need to be explained. As Lídôr was Uncle Rôbé’s favourite nephew (mainly on account of being able to get him free tickets to Rülândéá Kôstä matches) there was no hesitation in letting Enor see the famous still and moonshine operation Uncle Rôbé was running from a number of secretly interconnected houses-cum-warehouses, and when Enor turned out to be a very willing and able student of the fermentation process, an immediate and lifelong bond was formed. While the illegal moonshine continues to distill Mârïà Lôçô for the wild parties of the districts, Uncle Rôbé has now gone legit with a brewery in Lìbêrêtê city funded by his two ‘footballing nephews’, as he calls them - Enor and Lídôr - along with minor shareholdings by several of their team-mates in the dressing room who very much enjoy the odd pint of Rônçêrvézà with a bag of cashews on their day off, or a quick shot of Rôbé’s Gold for courage before a local derby with Dí Maozöxê or Mâ Âlâmëómë at the Çölíséá. It must be working - after a Shango-Fogoa title and a Champions League semi-final appearance, Rülândéá Kôstä are now the big boys in town. He may only come on as the occasional leg-breaker super sub, but Enor’s contribution to the rising stock of Kôstä can be measured in drams and millilitres.

[OOC: My thanks to Farfadillis for critical canonic oversight]

[Cap Nord]

Robert McEather stood in front of the whiteboard, sharpie in hand. Behind his back were about twenty football players, slumped in their seats. One could take people out of the classroom, but it was hard to take the classroom out of them. If you observed the space carefully, it had every stereotype in the book. Sitting in the center of the front row were Luuk Vennema and Carl Worbe, both with a pencil in hand. Model students, perfect son-in-laws, rather unexciting figures at first sight. By now, McEather knew it never were the wing attackers who would sit there: a Rohan Williams sat on two legs, leaning against the back wall and making continuous jokes with van Hilvaren and Brymsaeter: the Noordende gang at their finest, fart material included. You had your dreamers near the window, such as Bjerkness or O'Sullivan. In advance, he already knew neither soaked up anything from these tactical training sessions. Opposite, against the side wall, were those who made it their purpose to stand outside or above the group. Dieter Scharf fitted the first category and Simon Carstensen? Well, that was easy to tell.

The shiny white of the board hurt his eyes as he squinted at it and there was a light tremble in his hand. Robert knew he would be playing with big stakes now. Most of the time, he recorded these sessions but not this afternoon, ahead of the clash with Poafmersia. What he was about to do had been on his mind for weeks. Before he could sleep, he ran the tape in his mind, making minor adjustments: to his words, his gestures, his intonation. His knee jerk reaction had been to already execute it ahead of the Lionsroar game but it felt as if little pride was to be obtained in the home match against the newcomer. That was confirmed by the rather straightforward victory, with Myrrheim and Brymsaeter getting themselves on the scoreboard. No, this would be the moment.

"So, gentlemen. I had prepared a tactical plan for the upcoming match with the Red Panjias. But it seems as if…"

During the practice runs, his voice had been strong and self assured here, but now it came across squeaky.

"... as if there is little interest to follow these plans, so, I will leave the floor to others. Van Nooten? Care to elaborate?"

The assistant manager looked as if caught red handed. It took just half a glance to see that he had not been the instigator of what Robert already called the 'Treason of Dodoma', if only in his mind. With a theatrical gesture, McEather handed over the sharpie and took a seat next to a visibly uncomfortable Carl Worbe.

[Halfway through the MD4 match against Poafmersia]

The Libira National Stadium had witnessed a triumphant start to their second home game and even if, in the name of excitement, many fans had a mild preference for a closer confrontation, they had been able to rejoice over three goals from their own squad. Especially the second one, a sensible finish from Huerta, after a textbook passing sequence and amid scrambling defenders, had set the stage on fire.

In many ways, the game was over and done by, and that sentiment was confirmed for the Poafmersian fans by the lacklustre approach from the Capnordic coach. McEather did not fire on his players with a salvo of commands or wild gestures, nor did he send a half dozen players to the warm-up zone. He remained glued to his seat, watching the carnage that lay in front with a mystical grin.

That grin had not disappeared when he stepped towards the dressing room. It was clear that Van Nooten, nor the selection, had been able to call his bluff. His assistant stood in the door opening and Robert could almost taste the guilt that was running through his veins.

"Robert, I…"
"You what? You what?!"
"It will not happen again. I swear."

The muttered words brought a rush of adrenalin to McEather's head. At last, the tables were turning. He already had a plan in mind to push the team forward in the second half. A draw, let alone three points, was out of the question, but there was no need to let this one-sided confrontation turn into a bloodbath. He wanted to open the door to the dressing room but the players already came rushing out. Most of them looked somewhere between too ashamed and too afraid to address him. (Hindsight never taught him that in some cases, disinterest played a proper part as well.) When he entered, there was only Simon Carstensen left, who was wiping off notes on the blackboard. The midfielder did not even look up to the manager.

"The base idea from Van Nooten was not bad, it just needed a correction left and right. Enough time left for some additional warm-up, putting everyone on edge again."

[In the bus ride between the Libira National Stadium and Fiskadaha Airport]

Robert McEather was frustrated as he sat in his seat, alone. They would pay for this, all of them. It is time to completely annihilate this team. If he was going down, they were going with him.

The phone rang with an unknown number and instinctively, Robert picked up, despite a minor yawn. It had been an exhausting evening.

"Robert, are you there?"
"Yes?"
"Excellent, I needed to talk to you."

Was this some sort of cold caller? He vaguely recognised the voice, he believed, so maybe someone from the press? Possibly an FA board member? Either way, he had little need to chat to them and there came some anger in McEather's voice.

"Who is this actually, that is calling me at this ungodly hour?"
"It is I, Harold. King Harold."

Robert did miss the unrequired disclaimer as he nearly dropped the phone out of sheer disbelief.

"Your… your highness, my apologies, I did not, I did not…"
"You probably did not have my number."

In many instances, the attempts of the royal to sound cordial would have been rather clumsy but now it held a certain charm: it even helped McEather to regroup his thoughts.

"Your highness, how can I help you?"
"I wanted to call you, out of concern. More exactly about the upcoming home game against West Barack and East Obama. Do you know what date it is played?"
"The twelfth of… Oh. It is on the twenty anniversary, the celebration of… the commemoration, I mean."

King Harold at the very least acted as if he had not heard the difficulty which Robert McEather had to address the most important milestone from recent Capnordic history, the Silk Revolution. Just under twenty years ago, a coalition of democratic forces had in a short but swift undertaking managed to dethrone Edvard II and undermine his ruthless reign. In the years after, it became a day that was celebrated with a lot of effort: initially centering around popular events to remember the uprising but as time went by, more with pompous speeches and ribbon-cutting. Still, it counted as a day off for schools and companies and what more does a person need to consider 'Silk Revolution Day' a positive thing?

But a good year ago, there had been what historians would call 'the Counterrevolution': an armed takeover that combined the popular dissatisfaction channeled into the National Union Party with the dormant power of former army and Stabswache personnel (and a little unofficial help from the Koronavian armed forces). As a consequence, the 19th anniversary had gone by in complete silence. There had been a day off, if only because all institutions had it planned already, but there were no celebrations: no grand openings of democratic statues, no bakers making 'sweetkoeke', no women wearing a silk ribbon in their hair and no late-evening concerts. Just an awkward silence.

The new power went out of its way to claim that they were not the direct successor of the old regime, despite the blatant nostalgia from their closest supporters to that totalitarian regime. Chief Minister Dalving did her utmost to cherish the 'democratic foundation' of the NUP regime, even if the party had not held a majority (just a plurality) in the elections that immediately preceded the Counterrevolution. But with many of their dignitaries being direct relations to those that had been ousted and a few even returning Fled (those who left Cap Nord after the Silk Revolution), there was little cause for celebration. The decisive element was the complete silence coming out of Chateau Villeneuve, the re-established home of the reinstated royal family. The house of Veendermark had been theoretically at the helm of the old regime but by the last decade of it, it was crystal clear that the actual power had transferred from Edvard II to his extensive security council. As such, the crown had, as time went by, managed to get rid of some of the dark memories associated with the regime and won a certain nostalgia. Yes, they looked like a puppet in this theater, but their soft power and influence remained vibrant within the general population.

"It will have been twenty years, indeed. I have had long discussions about this with my advisors. Either we find… a new purpose for this date or it will haunt our memories for all eternity. And you will play a pivotal role in that, Robert. Can you?"

Robert nodded, a highly impractical gesture in a telephone conversation. Luckily, royalty was so used to confirmations they did not require to hear it.

"I have a few ceremonies in mind. New traditions, if you want to. And the best center stage to present them will be the West Barack and East Obama game. If anything unites this country, it is the Whalers. A victory from them, a symbol of a new unity and a symbol of a new start. But it needs a win to catch on."
"We… Always try to win our games, your highness. I always do. But our opponent has not lost yet, so it is difficult to guarantee anything."
"I know, Robert. But if you bring that tactic, that spirit of the second half of tonight, I know the team will be able to shine. I don't know how you did it, but that was heartwarming."

I don't know either.

"Yes, yes, your highness. They will be ready."
"Oh, and give Bjerkness some minutes, will you?"
"Ehm… Certainly?"
"I knew I could count on you, Robert."

[Ile de Richelieu]

Île de Richelieu in mid-table after 4 games

Rozelle, Brenecia - Île de Richelieu has played 4 games so far in the Worls Cup qualificatons and has one win, one draw and two losses. On matchday 1, the Cardinals received Bears Armed at home at the Stade national de la montagne de l'ours, which means Bear Mountain National Stadium. Yep, our stadium is named after the Bear Mountain volcano on the east side of the island and for our first world cup qualifications game, we receive a team of sapient bears. It started well for Île de Richelieu and we scored the fisrst goal of the game when Jean-Christophe Gouin scored a header goal on a cross by Ragnhild Austad at the 9th minute. At the 36th minute, Jean-Christophe Gouin dribbled with the ball in the penalty area and #4 from Bears Armed claws him. #4 gets a yellow card and it's a penalty for Île de Richelieu. Rose-Émilie Bouthillette kicks the ball and it's a goal. 2-0 Île de Richelieu. Jean-Christophe Gouin goes to the locker room and Ulfhild Lillegard-Omdahl subs in. It's the halftime. Bears Armed started off the 2nd half like a lion and scored at the 57th and the 64th minutes. At the 82nd minute, Ulfhild Lillegard-Omdahl dribbled with the ball and made a short pass to her twin brother Asbjørn Lillegard-Omdahl, who subbed in at the 45th minute to make the twins play together. Asbjørn kicks the ball and it's a goal. The score is now 3-2 Cardinals but unfortunately, Bears Armed tied the game at the 90 + 3 minute and the result is a 3-3 draw.

Before matchday two against Pluvia and the Saxean Isles, it was announced that Jean-Christophe Gouin is going to miss at least 4 games with an arm injury. Borghild Eggum replaces him in the starting XI. Pluvia and the Saxean Isles took an early lead at the 25th minute when Rory Goldberg scored a header goal following a corner kick. The Magpies inceased their lead at the 66th minute when Davis Kingsley beat Bjørnar Grendahl-Kalberg one on one. Pluvia and the Saxean Isles scored again at the 78th minute when Owen Duffy made a cross to Finlay Muir who kicked the ball into the net. The final score was 3-0 Pluvia and the Saxean Isles. Tristan Charbonneau got a red card at the 51st minute for a hard tackle and will miss matchday 3.

Île de Richelieu was back at home on matchday 3 to play against Novaros and beat them 4-2. Borghild Eggum was still in the starting XI while Gouin is still injured and Gabrielle Champagne replaced Tristan Charbonneau in the starting XI. Novaros scored first, at the 16th minute, but Île de Richelieu answered at the 23rd minute when Marc-Antoine Desgroseilliers scored on a free kick. The Cardinals scored again at the 42nd minute when Ranveig Eriksen picks up a loose ball and made a long pass to Marc-Antoine Desgroseilliers who dribbles with the ball and kicks it and it's a goal. The score is 2-1 at the halftime. Île de Richelieu increased their lead at the 61st minute when Marc-Antoine Desgroseilliers passed the ball to Rose-Émilie Bouthillette and she kicks it into the net. 3-1 Île de Richelieu. Novaros scored at the 76th minute but Île de Richelieu scored 4 minutes later when Rose-Émilie Bouthillette made a cross to Valkyrie Dahlen who kicks the ball in the goal and Île de Richelieu leads 4-2. It's the final score.

On matchday 4, Île de Richelieu travelled to Brenecia to face one of the best team in our group. Jean-Christophe Gouin, who was clawed by a Bears Armed player on matchday 1, is still injured and Borghild Eggum still replaces him in the starting XI. Tristan Charbonneau is back in the starting XI. At the 4th minute, Lienke Covolan made a cross to Maerhen Wake who heads the ball into the net and Brenecia takes the lead. This is the score at the halftime. At the 64th minute, it's a goal kick for Brenecia. Phoebe Corder kicks the ball far away, Katua Byrne jumps and makes a header pass to Jadwiga Lofthouse who kicks the ball and it's a goal. Brenecia increased their lead at the 78th minute when Tamara Seager scored a header goal following a corner kick. The final score was 3-0 Brenecia.

On matchday 5, Île de Richelieu will recieve Hopal at home. Borghild Eggum will still replace an injured Jean-Christophe Gouin and Rasmus Hammer will be suspended for having a red card against Brenecia. Ryan McBride will replace him in the dtarting XI.

The Cardinals will travel to Super Top on matchday 6 and Jean-Christophe Gouin should be back in the starting XI.

Jean-Guy Laframboise

[Saperetia]

First Home Game Ends In Defeat
Saperetia 1-3 Estorvipa and Estorpiva

Many football fans in Saperetia were looking forward to this day: The day of the first home match. Despite the opponent being 120 places higher in the rankings, the entire National Stadium was sold out. Not many were expecting a win, as they came just to have a good time. Under thunderous applause, the SAP 4-3-3 and EAE 4-2-3-1 lined up:

Saperetia: GK Yakim (C) DEF Ipatiy, Celso, Diyan, Achille MID Lacy, Knobes, Vilfredo ATK Gordie, Antoon, Titus,

Estorvipa and Estorpiva: GK Vidanova DEF Krastenkovic, Ushkevich, Timnev, Khokhlov MID-DEF Potritskij (C), Rodin MID-ATK Roberta, Kostova, Roberto ATK Prasutagusic

The game didn't begin too offensively from both sides as both have a more defensive style. A few chances were created in the first half from both sides but none managed to find the back of the net. In minute 39, a tackle from Krastenkovic saw him recieving a yellow card as Titus was carried off, looking injured, so Evhan got his debut with the team. As the whistle blew for the end of the 1st half, the scoreline was still 0-0. The second half was immediatly more interesting as in only minute 47, Prasutagusic scored for the Estorians to bring the score to 1-0. Then, only 6 minutes later, he found the back of the net for a second time. A tackle in minute 68 by Celso on Roberta saw Celso recieve a yellow as Roberta seemed to be injured at first, but he got up and began playing again, though with less ferocity than before. A third goal came about in the 78th minute, once again for the Estorians as a corner from Roberto was headed in by Prasutagusic for a hat-trick. The home crowd wasn't left displeased as a penalty in the 2nd minute of injury time saw Antoon slot it home for a final score of 3-1 for EAE.

It is curently unclear for how long Titus is out, if even at all. The next game against Britonisea is a mystery as their roster is not known. Many hope that we can bounce back after this loss.

Boring Game Ends In 0-0 Draw
Britonisea 0-0 Saperetia

After the last game, Titus has been confirmed to be out for 3 weeks, so he won't be available until our match against Lashnakia, so Evhen gets to start until then. Mouthenio told people "not to worry, as we have to focus on this match against Britonisea first." And so, despite us not knowing the names of the Bitonisean squad, the SAP 4-3-3 lined up agaisnt the BRT 4-4-2:

Saperetia: GK Yakim (C) DEF Ipatiy, Celso, Diyan, Achille MID Lacy, Knobes, Vilfredo ATK Gordie, Antoon, Evhen

Britonisea: GK ? DEF ?, ?, ?, ? MID ?, ?, ?, ? ATK ?, ?

The match was nothing spectacular, as both sides had their chances but noone managed to convert those into goals, and so the game ended in a 0-0 draw. So, to keep readers interested, we instead give them this mathematical equation to solve for a chance to win 100 Sapers:

(2x^2 + 3x - 1) / (x - 1) = (x + 2)^2

First reader to send in the correct answer to our office at 12 Television Avenue, 1111 AA, Maksiwood City will recieve the prize money.
NOTE: Please, do send contact information along with the answer, so we know who to reach.

Despite a 0-0 draw, hopes are still high among the players as the next match against the rank 36 nations that is Flavovespia at home. Many hope that an upset is incoming, as do the fans that have bought tickets for the match. Though, without Titus, that might be more improbable now.

[Cassadaigua]

Team Cassadaigua: World Cup 43-World Cup 93

Part 2: Our first World Cup Qualifier
by Chelsea Dufresne, Concord Heights

If you are like me, you were watching the World Cup 93 qualifying game against The Cannaland Islands and were very frustrated with the way that they failed to get a win against one of the worst teams, on paper, in the group. It ended up as a 2-2 draw, and we will have comprehensive coverage of the game, trying to breakdown everything that went wrong and what they Fillies need to improve elsewhere on the website. Losing, or drawing games in the World Cup has been going on since the beginning of the competition, and it happens to everyone. At the beginning of a competition, mostly everyone likes to predict how they think qualifying will go and make win, lose, or draw predictions based on the ranks and who is home or away for a match. If you made predictions for us against The Cannaland Islands, you probably had us getting six points.

It's a feeling of frustration and letdown that was somewhat present after the first ever qualifying game that Cassadaigua had in World Cup 43, against an opponent known as Land de Wood. Playing at home in Concord Heights, the stadium was sold out in anticipation after a promising Baptism of Fire that saw us finish fourth overall. Our group was tough, with the likes of both Cafundeu and Candelaria And Marquez within in, plus a good pot three team in Rennidan. Three teams from the group would qualify for the World Cup, a tournament that only had 80 nations attempt to sign up for it. That number is unheard of today, as you will likely get eighty nations to sign up in the first 24 hours. We didn't expect to qualify, but we thought that we should beat whoever this Land de Wood was, especially since no one even knew who was playing on their team.

The Fillies were not only beaten by Land de Wood, they were soundly outplayed, with a 2-0 final score perhaps not doing justice to the level of their dominance. In her blog, captain Courtney Ferguson talked about how disappointed they were in the result, but made many mentions of the fact that the team may have been trying to be too cute with their offense, and it led to mistakes. They did not focus enough on the little things, and their opponent did. The result was a loss and the classic cliche of "let's using this as a learning experience." In front of a strongly patriotic crowd, no one wanted a lesson, they wanted a result. They got nothing, not even the opportunity to cheer a goal. Disappointment. Lowered heads and a welcome to the World Cup moment. It should have been a winnable game, or at least a draw. Or, at least a goal. Instead: not a damn thing.

Would they learn from it, though? They would be home for their second game as well, against an interestingly named country called, "Saturday Sport". That nation was destroyed in their opener, 6-2, to Cafundeu and were hoping to follow up what Land de Wood did in Concord Heights. Our team would get the message of keeping things simple instead of trying to get highlight reel goals, and the first ever goal scorer in Cassadagan history (not including the Baptism of Fire) would be Jessica Keeley, a player who's been all but forgotten about in most media sources now but remains an answer to that trivia question. The strike came 24 minutes into the game. Jessica was 29 years old at the time, and the first person to ever wear the traditional #10 that many teams associate with their leading scorer. She would end up playing in three world cup qualifying efforts, including the team that qualified for World Cup 45. Keeley played professionally in Concord Heights, and was known as a soft spoken player who stayed out of trouble for her career. She would pass away at the age of 80, and had three kids and they stayed out of the national spotlight.

Up next for Cassadaigua was a contest against Cafundeu, and it seemed to be a game that our team had no chance of winning. The Monopolists were, at that time, one of the greatest nations in the World, and someone who seemed to be on the cusp of winning the whole thing. As you recall, they had just hosted the Baptism of Fire, so they were well aware of what we were capable of doing and were poised to give us a good beatdown. They were also coming off a massive 2-0 win over Candelaria and Marquez. However, as I alluded to in the opening, you never know what to expect in the qualifiers, as the games are played out there on a field instead of just using the ranks of the nations, putting numbers into a computer program, and letting that decide who wins.

Stunningly, Cassadaigua rallied back from a 2-0 deficit at halftime to force a draw with the Monopolists. Christine Scott scored the first goal for the Fillies with the 88th minute equalizer coming off the foot of Jessica Keeley. Before this contest, the Fillies got more massive news as Michelle Fuller, the starting fullback who's #5 is now retired, signed an international contract to play overseas in Dancougar. That was a pretty big deal to go to a nation that at the time was well respected (and still should be, of course) for its soccer prowess. Another Cassadagan was going big time, and Fuller celebrated getting the big deal with a massive game against Cafundeu. We would see much more of that as time went on from her. After three matches, the Fillies were now a respectable 1-1-1, making you wonder what could have been if they won the game against Land de Wood to start things off.

Cassadaigua kept rolling, scoring a 4-1 win over Colbourne to improve to 2-1-1 and into a tie for third with Candelaria and Marquez. For a brief moment, fans were beginning to wonder if we might just qualify for the World Cup because again remember this is a format where the first three teams in the group would advance. Then, Universitus University was knocked off, this by the score of 1-0, now putting us in a three way tie for second. Things weren't done, because in game six, the Fillies shocked Candelaria and Marquez by the score of 1-0, and now we were 4-1-1, behind only Cafundeu.

Just before halfway, a 3-0 loss to Rennidan was a reality check, but we would manage to get revenge on Land de Wood to start the second half. We were 5-1-2, and tied for second. May we be the next in line of teams to qualify for the World Cup on their first ever try. It's not something that was completely unheard of then just like it still happens now from time to time. Perhaps, the team was starting to get too carried away, because after the Land de Wood win, things fell apart. Four consecutive defeats dropped us to 5-1-6, and we would finish 5-2-7. Going 0-1-5 down the stretch is about as bad as it can get, but they did show promise at times. They'd have to figure out a way to finish strong, but maybe it would not take long for this team to make their first World Cup appearance.

If nothing else, the world now knew who we were. We'd be back!

[Gnejs]

Attack of the Teenage Ninja Surfers

It’s always sunny in Electrum. That’s what they say, and so it was. They weren’t supposed to be here, of course, but once ashore they really didn’t have any choice but getting some much needed rest.

They were anchored up by a secluded beach about an hour outside a small coastal town, and after a night’s sleep Killer Bob was already getting impatient. He wanted to get going, but Hannah had put her foot down and demanded that they stay a day or two before venturing out to sea again. It was a beautiful day, she said. The waves were perfect, and they had the entire beach to themselves, she continued. It didn’t take her long to locate the Onslaught crew’s surfboards stuffed away in a broom closet somewhere in the back, and she would accept no objections as she handed them out to her fellow travelers and ordered them to go out and have fun. Disgruntled, Killer Bob and Øye eventually yielded. They stripped down to their trunks and started dick dragging towards the beach to get ready for some aggro turtle rolling in the foam.

Hannah, in the meantime, had plans to restock their supplies in the nearby town. She took out a dingy, headed for the shore and then got to walking. It was a quiet town, full of tanned people with long hair, leather bracelets and tie-dyed T-shirts, hanging around in overly relaxed manners. I guess that’s how you end up when there’s no seasons and all you really know is sun or slightly more sun, Hannah thought to herself, and became increasingly annoyed with the high levels of complacency and low levels of efficiency amongst the town’s merchants. These people knew naught of the harshness of autumnal hail, the cold kiss of winter, the summer snows. They knew nothing of a life tinted with gloom, nothing whatsoever needed to build true character. She pitied these children of the sun with their big smiles and happy disposition. However, on her way back to the beach she caught a glimpse of something different. At first, the man seemed to be just another blissful hippie, but he had a sort of deranged hunger in his eyes that made him stand out. Hannah didn’t like it, and she made haste.

Meanwhile, as Øye and Killer Bob were preparing to hang loose, they suddenly and violently got jumped by a group of teenage ninja surfers. It was like they came out of nowhere, and all of a sudden they were surrounded by a pack of gnarly bros sporting wetties and hoodies and wielding katanas. Unarmed and surprised, they were quickly overwhelmed, and when Hannah reached the beach an hour or so later, she found the pair of them knocked out and half-covered in sand. But that wasn’t all of it, because something essential was missing. Yes, you guessed it: the Onslaught.

The boys came to after Hannah dozed them with a bucket of seawater, and she quickly filled them in on the devastating development. Øye was fuming to begin with, going on a gruesomely detailed tirade about what he’d do when he caught the thieves, but Killer Bob managed to calm him down with a select few breathing exercises he’d learned from the Guru, and it wasn’t until long that they were all levelheaded and making plans.

It’s hard and complicated work, manning a submarine, and it seemed reasonable to assume these surfer dudes didn’t have much in the way of experience, meaning they likely couldn’t have gone far. Hannah pulled out a set of local maps she’d picked up in town and they studied the shoreline intently. They quickly discarded the idea of the thieves traveling north, because then they’d end up in heavily populated areas, and to the immediate south only two alternatives for hiding a submarine seemed realistic: Dreamer’s Lollipop Sunshine Bay and Smiling Surfer’s Cove. They settled on starting with the first, seeing as it was the closest one.

It took well over two hours to reach their destination, but when they finally climbed over the last ridge and laid eyes on Dreamer’s Lollipop Sunshine Bay, it was worth all the effort, because down there, nestled snugly among the pleasant waves, was the HMS Onslaught. The gang of teenage ninja surfers were all hanging out on the beach playing volleyball and high-fiving each other, and the plan was simple enough, as they often are. Sneak down, swim to the submarine and take off into the sunset. But of course, there were complications. They got down to the water alright, but one of the ninja bros spotted them and it soon turned into a full rumble in the spray.

Øye’s assassin training hadn’t been all talk, oh no, and he skillfully clocked several of the adolescents, whereas Hannah took advantage of the surfers chivalrous code of conduct of not «beating on a babe» and brutally beat on the brats. Let’s not talk of how Killer Bob got on, this being PG13, but no matter how many ninja bros they took down, more and more just kept coming and after a while the gang of three started to realize that they’d never be able to overcome the waves of teenagers storming against them.

Then a deep voice boomed, calling off the attack. The surfers withdrew, and Hannah, Øye and Killer Bob looked up towards the top of the ridge, where stood a tall and muscular man with a scar on his face and an ominous smile. Hannah recognized the deranged hippie from town at once, but when he with a swift motion of his hand removed the wig and fake beard, they all gasped with recognition. It was Goran McEnroe.

An hour later

They were all sitting down for afternoon tea. A surfer named Gilbert brought out some homemade scones, and McEnroe told them all about how they didn’t mean anything by the attacks and submarine theft, it was all merely for laughs. He also said the reason he was now leading a tribe of teenage ninja surfers in Electrum’s backwaters was due to falling out of favor with the royal family of Baggieland, after some of his more heinous acts had been cited as grounds for an international condemnation of The Imperial Glorious Empire. While McEnroe did enjoy his new careless life of robbery and terror, it was all too clear that he was burning for revenge against those who had scorned him. Hannah looked at Øye, and he nodded. It seemed they had made themselves a new ally.

[Juvencus]

The Languages of Juvencus and the Juven(Last Part)

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

Despite being the center of development of a lot of different languages and dialects, Juvencus' position as a trading hub meant it has served as a ripe spot for the introduction of new languages or the redevelopment of languages from emigrants returning home.

While more RLStates terms have been used in the presentation of these languages or dialects, the people in Juvencus mention them all in all sorts of names. But the most major of those is the Juven Language, which could be better presented as the family name of a language continuum that stretches all across Juvencus and beyond all the way down to south Oscioru. It is creatively called.. the Juvencano Continuum.

The Tarsonne Dialect: The Tarsonne dialect is in fact a dialect formed by Juven emigrants in the colonies of Montagnaverde and Al Qurija, developed by the intermingling of majority Santmat speakers with other Juven and said Juven returning and bringing the dialect home. The closest RLstates equivalent is Occitan.

The dialect itself is relatively new, compared to the rest. With it only being developed in the late 18th and early 19th centuries by Juven colonists in Montagnaverde and Al Qurija, but mostly the former. Their main dialect was the Santmat but influences from the other Juven dialects plus local languages gave the Tarsonne dialect its special blend. It is spoken in small patches in nearly every coastal city in the nation but mostly far away in countries like Montagnaverde and Al Qurija.

The dialect itself was not even recognised as distinct by its own speakers at the time of the Pomenienze monodialectal period. Instead, its speakers either assimilated to the Pomenienze dialect lifestyle or shared the struggles of the the other speakers, especially the Santmat ones. It was simultaneously both hit hard from this but also maintained perfectly due to its discreetness.

The Tarsonne dialect is one of the most newly-recognised dialects in the nation and there are some educational facilities and media for it, although it is more commonly learnt as a 3rd or 4th dialect rather than a main one in Juvencus.

The Terranean Language: Known for being completely brought over post-multiversal dimension-finding by traders from far away nations in the different regions Juvencus is busy interacting with today. The closest RLstates equivalent is English.

The language was brought over certainly post-1750 by different brave merchants from far away nations such as Quebec and Shingoryeo(despite the mutual linguistic intelligibility for the most part) that the great Juven powers of the time(namely Pomena, Scudelli and the West) would secretly trade with despite a supposed stance of isolationism. Over time due to it being spoken in multiple spots of the multiverse it entered language education mostly for merchants, academics and traders.

The Terranean language was unaffected as it was and still is treated more like a foreign language than a native language of Juvencus and indeed its education remained unchanged throught that time.

Ever since Juvencus' full internationalisation in 1984, the Terranean language has entered school curriculums all over Juvencus as one of the necessary foreign languages to learn, with the other being Drawkish. Media in Terranean is common and easy to find as are educational facilities. It the foreign language with the second highest amount of Juven fluent speakers, behind only Drawkish.

The Drawkish Language: Drawkish is the most international language of Sonnel and it has served a staple part of Juvencus' upper echelons of education for millenia. No staple RLstates equivalent.

It is uncertain when exactly the Drawkish language entered Juvencus, but what is certain is that it entered the general area during antiquity through the Revoda Sea trade. Over the years multiple Juven monarchs, philosophers, aristocrats, scholars and other high-class people got to learn the language and many of those even emigrated to Drawkland where some chose to be assimilated to it and others created the distinct massive Juven diaspora of the country.

The Drawkish language was also unaffected by the Pomenienze-only measures as it was considered the language of the high-class and every single Juven Holy Emperor has had proficiency in Drawkish. With scholars also maintaining its usage and safety throught the years.

In modern-day, Drawkish has entered school curriculums since 1984 and has served as one of the main foreign languages to learn. Drawkish education and media are easily accessible in every single corner of the nation and it is the foreign language with the highest level of fluent speakers. As such, it is treated with respect and dignity, much like the Juven language.

[Brenecia]

Delte 2 - 2 Brenecia
(4-3-3) 12 - Corder; 17 - Hadley, 18 - Killen, 5 - Shrine, 3 - Culpepper (25 - Chalk 82'); 23 - Sitko (8 - Conway 59'), 4 - Briggs, 11 - Covolan (14 - Cheschon 82'); 15 - Wake, 21 - Lofthouse (13 - Stokes 71'), 10 - Byrne (16 - Alderwood 59')
Goals: Covolan 19', Wake 53'

Brenecia 3 - 0 Ile de Richelieu
(4-3-3) 12 - Corder; 2 - Cooper, 18 - Killen, 5 - Shrine, 3 - Culpepper; 23 - Sitko, 19 - Seager, 26 - Meskela (11 - Covolan 50'); 15 - Wake, 21 - Lofthouse (24 - Korsak 80'), 10 - Byrne (16 - Alderwood 65')
Goals: Wake 4', Lofthouse 64', Seager 78'

THE ROZELLE OBSERVER
Brenecian FA hands Derdriu Wright vote of confidence
Uther Cartwright

Odds of Brenecia manager Derdriu Wright's firing have drastically shortened after Brenecian FA Chairman, Kayla Albright, produced a statement underlining her and the FA's 'absolute faith' in her.

"We acknowledge that Derdriu Wright's position has come under scrutiny from elements of the press and fanbase," said Albright, standing next to a visibly uncomfortable Wright, "and that recent results have not been at the standards we set ourselves."

"That is why it is necessary to stress to all parties our unequivocal faith in Derdriu Wright, and that this faith shall remain regardless of the results to come in the near future. We are in this together, at least for the medium-term."

Unprompted, Albright continued to speak in increasingly specific detail. "We have no plans to sack Ms. Wright regardless of results to come, even if defeat in Vilita and failure to beat Sajnur in the next fortnight would leave us with just one win in our first six."

"We are furthermore not considering our alternative options to Ms. Wright, other managers who could arguably make a better case to secure qualification as many of our fans believe they could, yet right now Ms. Wright has our vote of confidence, for the forseeable future."

With Brenecia's start so remarkably poor that even followers of fantasy football have commented on Brenecia's status as a uniquely underwhelming second-seed pick, the markets have already opened on Brenecia's manager by the end of qualification; Wright takes fourth place, with 12/1 odds, but only due to the spread of alternatives.

61-year old Erin Camden is the clear favourite at 3/1, and is known to have been approached by Brenecia before and rejected the BFA's advances. The AFC Treason manager has achieved genuinely remarkable success in Nephara, winning 3 Zenith titles and a Rensenbrink Cup in five seasons, and the optimistic line of thought is that she has achieved all she can in club football and may prefer the low-intensity international game.

Marian Ironside, who won 4 caps in her playing career and has entered her fifth year of management in Marque, weighs in at 9/2 odds. A pioneer of exciting, youth-oriented football, Ironside is the closest fit to the profile of most former Patriots' managers, successes and failures both. At 8/1, Northern Union manager Russ Shorten, now 60, is third-choice, another safe candidate after a record of consistent success at A-League level.

But in any case, Wright will still be in charge for the trip to an undefeated Vilita, where it is fair to say that defeat is the anticipated result. If she cannot recapture the spirit of WC91, and the astonishing third-place finish she accomplished there - or even if she can - then an immediate uptick in form is imperative with the difficult trio of Sajnur, Bears Armed and Pluvia to come. Anything less than three wins will likely spell the end.

BRENECIAN NATIONAL TEAM SELECTION - FORTNIGHT 3
Goalkeepers: 1 - Cessair Meade (Rammsissil, VIL), 12 - Phoebe Corder (Ituraitz FC, ASG), 20 - Casper Harder (Sparta Zijweg, AUD)
Defenders: 2 - Aine Cooper (Rozelle), 3 - Nimue Culpepper (Sabrefell Athletic, NPH), 5 - Athelney Shrine (Falourr, EUR), 6 - Hamish Jeong Harcourt (Vermillion Rage, NPH), 17 - Caoimhin Hadley (Sabrefell Athletic, NPH), 18 - Iucharba Killen (North Laithland, NPH), 22 - Ruadri Wheater (Carsby, BRE), 25 - Shara Chalk (Southern Star)
Midfielders: 4 - Skaidrina Briggs (Southern Star), 8 - Iseult Conway (Wirr Tsi, CMT), 11 - Lienke Covolan (Vermillion Rage, NPH), 14 - Bede Cheschon (Kingsbury United, TMB), 19 - Tamara Seager (FK Arsika, MYT), 23 - Rajmund Sitko (West Cuono United, TMB), 26 - Vaida Meskela (Makosile, VIL)
Forwards: 7 - Aneurin Wakering (CS Saint-Remy, KSK), 9 - Siobhan Baker (Anomalies, CMT), 10 - Katua Byrne (KT Itzalovalle, AUD), 13 - Mor-Rioghain Stokes (Mountainside, EUR), 15 - Maerhen Wake (1830 Cathair, AUD), 16 - Idina Alderwood (Sabrefell Moths, NPH), 21 - Jadwiga Lofthouse (Yassaca, SRS), 24 - Cyprian Korsak (Kingsgrove)

Super Top 4 - 1 Brenecia
Brenecia 0 - 0 Acastanha
Delte 2 - 2 Brenecia
Brenecia 3 - 0 Ile de Richelieu
Vilita vs. Brenecia
Brenecia vs. Sajnur
Bears Armed vs. Brenecia
Brenecia vs. Pluvia SI
Novaros vs. Brenecia
Pratapgadh vs. Brenecia
Brenecia vs. Hopal
Brenecia vs. Super Top
Acastanha vs. Brenecia
Brenecia vs. Delte
Ile de Richelieu vs. Brenecia
Brenecia vs. Vilita
Sajnur vs. Brenecia
Brenecia vs. Bears Armed
Pluvia SI vs. Brenecia
Brenecia vs. Novaros
Brenecia vs. Pratapgadh
Hopal vs. Brenecia

[Eshialand]

A Ridiculous Proposition
Eshialand 1-1 Equestria
Obrela 0-2 Eshialand

Continued from the second half of this RP.

"You want me to fund... what?" the king asked.

"Come on, Petake..." Governor Adari'ena told him, after his meeting with Haulafo and Luanola, "this is just the perfect project for a person like you! Patently absurd, but in a wonderful way!"

"No, this one is just patently absurd."

"Other nations have done stuff like this, and you can't deny it would get a lot of outside tourism for just how unique it is alone. I'm all aboard for this, but I need your help to allocate the necessary resources to make it possible..."

The king gathered his breath for a moment before responding to the governor. "Okay, it's true, I've greenlit a lot of funky stuff in my past. I'm going to admit that much. But this? This is on another level of weird, absurd, expensive, and wasteful. And didn't you just get through telling me that soccer culture in Aleirave wasn't built for stuff like this... at all?"

"I'm sure you'll love it once you see the concept art!"
"Most assuredly I will not."
"What's not to love about a floating, offshore football stadium?"

Yep, you heard that right. The best idea that meeting had when it came to making a new soccer stadium without destroying the island's natural beauty was... to not build it on the island at all.

"Look William, I'm sure this is going to help stimulate the Aleiravan economy in ways that we could only dream of, I mean, who the hell isn't going to check out the big game on a massive boat! We'll make up the cost of building it in two, maybe three years, tops."

"...Refilene, I have a question."
"Ask away."
"Are you high?"

The governor didn't really have much of a good answer to this. Truth of the matter was, he may have smoked just a little bit of weed during that meeting. The gourmet stuff, not your common street fare. "...I'll prepare a cost assessment and then ask again on a day when you aren't being abrasive..." he told the king before hanging up.

"What the hell was he on about..." the king said after the call ended.

---

"Finally, a win..." Coach Morgan said to Melissa Carey after the team's win in Obrela. "I was starting to wonder whether this whole assistant coach thing was going to work out..."

Yes, qualifying's start was definitely not the best. Two points out of three games was... definitely not a Pot 4 performance. These teams were fiercer than the Owls had come prepared for, but hopefully, with this win, the worst was in their past. "Hey Coach, that win was all you..." Melissa responded, with a smile on her face. "So what are we up against in the next couple of matches?"

"Well," Kenny said, opening up the team's schedule, "we're hosting Boring Paradise, then going to Murphtannia."

"That doesn't sound too bad... but the last thing we should be doing is underestimating these teams. I'll start asking some of the other team members if there's something they think we should be doing differently."

Of course... Kenny thought to himself, the team knows best what they need to work on... I lost my way on that.

"What's going on?" Melissa asked, seeing her coach lost in thought.
"Nothing," he replied, "it's nothing. Go ahead and meet up with the rest of the team, I'll hang back and catch up to you later."
"Alright."

The coach took a little bit more time to admire the sights of Kobe before heading off with his team. It reminded him a bit of Aleirave, but more than different enough to keep everything fresh and new. This was the first time in a while he had stopped and taken a stroll through a city his team visited in an away game, and it reminded him of what made touring the multiverse so special in the first place. Not everything was about the game, it was about the experiences that came with the game.

For a moment, he contemplating hanging up his hat, handing the reins to Melissa, and focusing on seeing the world like this, without all the stress of a qualifying campaign... but no. He was gonna see this team through.

World Cup or bust.

Eshialand - 1 (Harran 54')
Equestria - 1 (REDACTED 67')

Obrela - 0
Eshialand - 2 (Meilling 11', MacDougall 42')