[INSPIRATION] The 2021 film on Netflix known as "Don't Look Up"
[TITLE] Don't Look Down
[DESCRIPTION] Two self-proclaimed "well-renowned nuclear scientists" have entered your office claiming that they believe further WMD testing in a nearby ocean could potentially cause an earthquake at somewhere around 3.5 to 4.5 magnitude. While this kind of claim normally wouldn't have reached your desk, the scientists also claim the tectonic plates happen to meet right over a submerged supervolcano, capable of causing an apocalyptic eruption, and also somebody left the door unlocked.
[VALIDITY] Nations with WMDs
[OPTION 1] "We have to do something, or we'll all going to die!" says one of the scientists, @@RANDOMNAMEFEMALE@@, as she aggressively slams her fist on your desk so hard it shatters your glass of water on the opposite end. "Every single portion of @@NAME@@ will be affected or even destroyed! And you wanna know why? YOUR WMDs! Any day now, one of them will cause an earthquake, setting off the supervolcano and destroying us all! Just look down, you can practically SEE the ground beginning to shake! You need to scrap ALL of @@NAME@@'s weapons of mass destruction, or we're all doomed. DOOOOOOOMED!"
[EFFECT] natural disaster preparation includes launching WMDs at the sun
[OPTION 2] "Now hold on a minute," says the other scientist, @@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@, wiping the broken glass onto the floor. "That wasn't part of our plan. I apologize, @@LEADER@@, my partner in crim- I mean, uhh, SCIENCE, has uh, misspoken. What really needs to happen isn't so drastic. Just cut back on military spending. If you don't want to destroy the planet, just stop spending money on its destruction, and everything will be alright-"
[EFFECT] top military officials live in fear of "end of the world" doomsayers
[OPTION 3] "WRONG," interrupts Ronald Stump, the resident elderly man who seems to have a rather odd obsession with interrupting people. "These dang kids and their 'natural disaster' baloney! It's all 'supervolcano' this and 'sir please stop golfing it is four in the morning you need to go to bed how did you even get past security' that! What in tarnation are they talkin' about? Science schmience, it's all malarkey, I tells ya! In fact, they should be punished for spreading this fake news! I REFUSE to look down, and you should, too! Don't look down! Don't look-" he suddenly falls asleep, his head tilting towards the floor as if to look down.
[EFFECT] natural disasters are illegal
[OPTION 4] "Let the scientists cook," says your campaign advisor's neighbor's dog's great uncle's brother's owner's father, Walker Write, who currently appears to be under the influence. "We can manipulate this in your favor for publicity. While your team is out there breaking bad news to the world that a volcanic eruption is going to destroy us all, you can save the day with some "miraculous" stunt. Doesn't even have to actually stop the volcano as long as it makes you popular. What could a supervolcano do anyway? Now if you'll excuse me, there's a perfectly good pizza on my roof and it's getting cold."
[EFFECT] "Super-@@LEADER@@" is a bestselling comic book franchise
[OPTION 5] "Are you thinking what I'm thinking, @@LEADER@@? Just kidding, I know you aren't," jokes Narc Suckerbird, CEO of Knowing What You Think, Inc., as he pours himself a glass of what appears to be liquid @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@. "There's real good money to be had here. My informational informants have informed me with informative information that an earthquake in that ocean could open up a plethora of previously inaccessible deep cave systems, allowing for the mass harvesting of rare and valuable materials such as @@ANIMAL@@-stone and gold. We'll be RICH... er. As for the volcano, we'll... take care of it. All you have to do is sign this contract. Don't worry, it's only 527 pages long! Probably shouldn't bother reading it though, I'm sure you have more important things to do, like giving us a 'federal grant' for a completely unrelated volcano-themed amusement park I've been planning."
[OPTION VALIDITY] capitalism
[EFFECT] earthquakes are considered a superior mining tool
[REFERENCES] The title is based on "Don't Look Up", Option 1 is a reference to Kate Dibiasky's outburst in "Don't Look Up", Option 3 is a reference to the anti-comet theorists in "Don't Look Up" and also somewhat of a light-hearted parody of a certain politician, Option 4 is a "Breaking Bad" reference and is based on how in "Don't Look Up" the President is more worried about the midterm elections than impending doom, Option 5 is a reference to how Peter Isherwell in "Don't Look Up" planned to break down the comet to retrieve the rare materials inside, "CEO of Knowing What You Think, Inc." is a reference to Elon Musk vs Mark Zuckerberg from Epic Rap Battles of History, Narc Suckerbird is a soundalike for Mark Zuckerberg.