Ridicolander News

[Ridicolandia]

In this day, the glorious nation of Ridicolandia solved the problem of the acoustic pollution: since today nobody can talk anymore.

...

[High Welstar]

Such a brilliant politic move, I'm obligated to say.

[Ridicolandia]

Citizien of High Welstar has been arrested after a mass shooting into a Café nearby the main square of the capital.

Our intelligence describes the suspect as a really unbecoming man, who is now imprisoned and interrogated by the authorities.

Ridicolander News has sent our best reporter to interview the killer.


J: "Mr. Guy Fromiran, why did you committed a mass shooting?"
K: "Because I'm Communist, that's what we do, end of quote."
J: "What was your primary goal?"
K: "I wanted to kill the first minister but unfortunately he wasn't already there."
J: "Had you been paid by your governament?"
K: "Yes. "
J: "Are you sure? "
K: "Sure."
J: "Sure sure?!"
K: "Without doubt!"
J: "You are really an unbecoming man, Mr. Fromiran. You disgust me."


Immediate has been the reaction by our Great First Minister, who spoke out loud his deep concern about High Welstar's rogue regime and its attempts to hide its obvious possess of chemical weapons.

"We shall never allow High Welstar obtain chemical weapons, and we shall do aall that is necessary to act against this tyrannical regime. Today many innocents died; let's not cry them: let's revenge them! End of quote."

[Ridicolandia]

let's go forth: it could have been a massacre yesterday afternoon, when the capital was litteraly sieged by angry protesters who called for more censorship by the government.


burning bins, chained wrists and even mortar explosions: this is the landscape that yesterday afternoon was revealed to the eyes of the police in riot gear.

It served no purpose the charge of the law enforcement on the demonstrators and the tear gas canisters fired at eye level. Hordes of troublemakers continued to march towards the main square chanting slogans and displaying empty placards in clear contempt of the authority.

Only after the first injuries, the mayor of the city personally went to speak to the demonstrators, assuring them that they would get the censorship they were asking for.

Pleased, the crowd finally retreated. Immediate has been the reaction of our Great Prime Minister at the press conference:

"We lost this fight! There are moments in which a Great Prime Minister needs to reflect on his mistakes. The people are tired of all this confusing opinions about everything, we need just one voice that speaks for everyone, everywhere, everytime about everything. Infact I already created a task-force called "the Everythink", that will manage what is possible to think and what's not. Democracy it's even this: doing aall that is necessary to lead towards the will of the sovereign people, towards a solid future of moderation and freedom. "

[Ridicolandia]

let's talk about Sport:

today the parliament met for the amendment of the law 404 suggested by the task-force Everythink, which requires the entire population to root solely and exclusively for the baseball team of Scrotus, which is located in another country; also approving the famous "paragraph 4" which imposes the payment of only 1 your wife to each fan or player of the opposing teams and 2 daughters for every point scored by the opponent. But let's see what people think about the new idea suggested by Everythink.

Seems like a good idea to me! Scrotus is a winning team, all the others are losers; and anyway all the other teams have violent fans: millions are injured every year because of this idea of ​​baseball that will never work.

I've always been a fan of Scrotus. Why? Well, since I was born I've always known that other teams sucks, and I don't want to root for a losing team.

I hate all other teams, we support Scrotus!

Are theeeeem, Are theeeeem... the beest in the woooorld aaaare theeeeeeeem, làllàllààllààllàllàllààllàllàlllàlàààààààààh...


and now the advertising.

[Ridicolandia]

(promotional message)

How many times you built an house but it crumbled down two seconds later?

You don't need to know how to build'em.
You don't need no architect.
You just need...

SICK
What a brick

[New Aza]

OH, LITTLE COUNTRY. SO MUCH TALKINGS AND NOT ENOUGH WORKINGS. PLEASE, DO NEW AZA A FAVOR, SWITCH YOUR NATIONAL CURRENCY TO GREENBACK LIKE GLORIOUS FORMER MOTHER COUNTRY NORTHERN BORLAND. WHEN WILL THEY LEARN? YOU HAVE BIG HEART WRITING AND POSTING SUCH CRAZINESS BUT BRAIN? WE HAVE YET TO DECIDE ON ITS BIGNESS. BEST, SMARTEST ECONOMISTS SAY GREENBACK IS THE MOST VALUABLE INTERNATIONAL CURRENCY. TAKE US FOR EXAMPLE. IF YOU WERE TO SWITCH, PERHAPS YOU WOULD BE AS BIG AND STRONG AND INTELLIGENT AS US SOMEDAY.