United Kingdom of Annivia

[Annivia]

Official State Gazette of the United Kingdom of Annivia

[Annivia]

Motion #1 of No Confidence in His Majesty's Government

On the 25th of January 2015, the Opposition Leader Socian Greb tables a Motion of No Confidence in His Majesty's Government.

The motion is put, because of:
1) The Government's incapability of assuring a prosperous economy
2) The Government's failure to address the issue of children gambling
3) The Government's failure to secure Annivia's environmental future

The Leader of the Union of Socialists and Communists makes a speech, criticizing the Government and the Prime Minister for the total destruction of Annivia's economy, enviroment and low public expenditure. Opposite, Lord Angus of Florey (the Prime Minister) says that "achievements are tough to complete and require time, therefore this Government shall remain united behind the conviction to change this country for the better. We're returning true conservative values, we are the true people's party!". The Liberatians leader attacked the Government for re-introducing the death penalty, stating that "this Government has no mandate to govern, it's fallen, RESIGN!"

After a furious debate, the results are as follows:
The House of Commoners: 124 Ayes, 143 Noes
The House of Cardinals: 73 Ayes, 77 Noes

The Government retains confidence.

[Annivia]

Motion #2: Addressing issue Private lab holds Annivia's Sick to Ransom
27 June 2021

Issue

Scientists at a private medical research laboratory have announced that they have produced a drug which will combat Annivia’s most notorious malady - Spon Plague.


The Debate

1. “This pill is the only known and unknown cure for the Spon Plague!” proclaims Professor Danu Quimby, the inventor of the cure. “But if we are to go ahead with the production of this drug, we must get some government support. We’re set to make a fortune from this drug - the money we earn will help us develop even more cures for other as-yet untreatable diseases. Some people won’t be able to afford it of course, but hard cheese on them: they should have got a paying job while they were still capable.”

2. “That’s a disgraceful way to think!” says equal rights activist Jane Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff. “So the people who need the most help shouldn’t get any? I propose that the government takes over the distribution of all drugs so everyone can benefit from them, rich or not! That way the money-hungry corporations won’t profit from the suffering of the masses. Of course there will be the matter of a small tax rise to fund it - but what’s that when lives will be saved?”

3. “I can’t believe what I’m hearing,” deplores well-respected religious leader, Namkha Duterte. “If God didn’t want people to have this disease he wouldn’t have created it in the first place. This is completely against the will of God and if the government allows this drug to go on sale we will all be doomed to an afterlife in a dark and fiery place! Now let’s end this madness and abolish the production of pharmaceuticals and drugs altogether!”


The House of Commoners
To support One: 71 ✅ Conservative future and Liberals & Greens Alliance
To support Two: 66 Union of Socialists and Communists
To support Three: 13 Libertarians
To dismiss: 0

The House of Cardinals, on a motion to consent
Contents: 121 Conservative future and Right-Conservative and Right-Conservative
Not Contents: 108 Union of Socialists and Communists, and Libertarians

[Annivia]

Motion #3: Addressing issue Protesters Have Gone Too Far, Claim Police

27 June 2021
Issue
A group protesting against the Annivian government began a riot yesterday which resulted in the death of Mr. Benson, a police officer.


The Debate

1. “This is an outrage!” cries Police Chief Sun Winters. “The people of Annivia just don’t know how good they have it! Our nation is a gem compared to many others, but if you give an inch they will take a mile. I had to tell officer Benson’s wife yesterday that their children will grow up without a father. Do I think public protests should be outlawed? You’re damn right I do.”

2. “It all happened so fast,” says Beverly Dunn, one of the protesters. “The crowd was just chanting, you know... and then they tear gassed us. I saw one cop, this Mr. Benson, club a teenager right in the face! For what? Speaking his mind! That’s when the crowd rushed him. I’m sorry he’s dead, but the police think they have a right to do whatever they want - things get out of hand sometimes. I think the police department should keep out of the way when we’re protesting - even if things do get... excited.”

3. “It’s because protests get out of hand sometimes that we need a police presence,” argues PC George W. Lincoln eventually after singing the national anthem to you. “Even violent protestors have a right to feel safe on the streets. If that means we have to die to protect the innocent, then that means we have to die. I think protests should be restricted to a designated area where police can keep an eye on the protestors. Then everything can go nice and smoothly and no one will have to worry about being beaten to death.”


The House of Commoners
To support One: 66 ✅ Union of Socialists and Communists
To support Two: 27 Liberals & Greens Alliance, and Libertarians
To support Three: 57 Conservative Future
To dismiss: 0

The House of Cardinals, on a motion to consent
Contents: 80 Union of Socialists and Communists
Not Contents: 149 ✅Conservative Future, Right-Conservative, and Libertarians

The motion, having failed, is returned to the House of Commoners to decide by an absolute majority.

The House of Commoners
To support One: 66 Union of Socialists and Communists
To support Three: 84 ✅ Conservative Future, Liberals & Greens Alliance, and Libertarians

[Annivia]

Motion #4: Addressing issue Time to Put the Older Senators Out to Pasture?

27 June 2021

Issue
Many people are starting to think that it’s time to put term limits on elected officials, given the average age of 70 years old and 40 years of service in the nation’s Parliament.


The Debate

1. “It’s time to get these lifetime politicians off the government payroll!” says term-limits advocate Pietro Márquez. “Let them get real jobs like the rest of us once they leave office. Besides, if they are currently a Senator, they can always run for another office like Governor. This gives people the right to elect whomever they want to run for office, just not the same office forever. It’ll keep things from going completely stale!”

2. “Wait a minute,” says Whoopi Silk, chairperson of the national Infinite Power party. “We pay a lot of money to get those people into office. It can take several terms before we get a return on our investment, I mean, candidates. We should extend the number of years for each term, not limit the number of times a person can serve in any specific office!”

3. Your aunt’s mother’s step-sister’s best friend’s hairstylist, Colleen Benteen, pooh-poohs the entire idea. “You know how to run your country, yes? Why deal with the hassle of elected officials and elections in the first place, yes? Eliminate elections and this entire term limit issue becomes moot, yes?”


The House of Commoners
To support One: 71 ✅ Conservative Future and Liberals & Greens Alliance
To support Two: 13 Libertarians
To support Three: 66 Union of Socialists and Communists
To dismiss: 0

The House of Cardinals, on a motion to consent
Contents: 149 ✅Conservative Future, Right-Conservative, and Libertarians
Not Contents: 80 Union of Socialists and Communists

[Annivia]

Motion #5: Addressing issue Hukd on Fonix Workd 4 Me!

27 June 2021

Issue
Annivia has a developing problem with poor literacy rates among 12-18 year olds, which many parents and teachers blame on the current state of the education system and lack of government funding.


The Debate

1. Boot Camp instructor Cindy Ramirez stated: “Who gives a damn? Makes ‘em easier to turn into brainwashed grunts anyhow! You don’t need to be able to read in order to fire a gun! What we need to do is focus on our military spending - what does it matter if you can read or not when you’re overrun by warmongering barbarians?”

2. On the other side, there’s Annivia’s Education Administrator. “This is shocking news. If the children of tomorrow cannot read, then what? Next thing you know, we will be speaking with contractions! The government must devote more efforts to education! Where will we be twenty years from now with an overflow of unskilled labor?”

3. Howard Wonka, principal of a highly-rated private school, prefers a different approach. “Instead of that, why not issue government vouchers so that parents can afford to send their children to privately run schools? We offer a far better education than the public schools. All we do is grind our particular religious views into our students!”

4. “Who needs some fancy-schmancy cash-draining school system, anyway?” Megan Ebert declares from the front steps of a double-wide mobile home, shotgun in hand. “My Pa raised me and my eight brothers and three sisters without no waste of time schoolin’! My Pa taught me everythin’ I need t’know, let all these whippersnappers’ Mas and Pas teach ‘em what they need t’know!”


The House of Commoners
To support One: 13 Libertarians
To support Two: 80 ✅ Union of Socialists and Communists, and Liberals & Greens Alliance
To support Three: 57 Conservative Future
To support Four: 0
To dismiss: 0

The House of Cardinals, on a motion to consent
Contents: 106 Union of Socialists and Communists
Not Contents: 149 ✅ Conservative Future, Right-Conservative, and Libertarians

The two Houses, having disagreed by a majority vote in each House, have dismissed the issue.

[Annivia]

Motion #6: Require a Two-Thirds majority to join the World Assembly

27 June 2021


The Motion

The Houses of Cardinals, and Commoners,

Recognising the impact upon the sovereignty of the United Kingdom of Annivia from the act of joining the World Assembly, in effect conceding the power of the Parliament to make and unmake law,

Mindful of the many Resolutions of the World Assembly that are contrary to Annivian history, culture and society,

Hereby agrees that neither His Majesty, nor His Majesty's Government, shall make an application to join the World Assembly, unless a successful motion to join the World Assembly shall have to been passed by a two-thirds majority in both Houses to that effect.

House of Commoners
Yeas: 136 ✅Conservative Future, Union of Socialists and Communists, and Libertarians
Noes: 14 Liberals & Greens Alliance

House of Cardinals
Contents: 214 ✅Conservative Future, Union of Socialists and Communists, and Libertarians
Not Contents: 15 Right-Conservative

[Annivia]

Motion #7: Addressing issue International Community Comes Doorknocking

28 June 2021

Issue
The international community has appealed to Annivia to increase humanitarian aid to the world’s poorer nations.

The Debate

1. “We must increase foreign aid,” says beaded local peace activist Chongba Ungar. “Compared to some of these nations, Annivia is swimming in ans. Let’s face it, not every nation in the world is lucky enough to have a government like ours. Let’s show some compassion to our less economically gifted neighbors.”

2. “Talk about a way to flush ans straight down the toilet,” argues Think Tank member Holly Cohen. “What I’ve noticed is that whenever we do give something, it’s never enough: a few years later they’re back asking for more. The best way to help these poor nations is to stop shielding them from the logical consequences of their idiotic, long-debunked socialist economic policies.”

3. “Relief wouldn’t hurt us... if we ‘relieved’ the right countries,” suggests government advisor Maximilian Kamen. “We give them a little humanitarian aid, they give us access to their Information Technology markets... it’s win-win. Nothing wrong with a little quid pro quo, especially for a good cause.”

The House of Commoners
To support One: 66 ✅Union of Socialists and Communists
To support Two: 13 Libertarians
To support Three: 57 Conservative Future
To dismiss: 14 Liberals & Greens Alliance

The House of Cardinals, on a motion to consent
Contents: 80 Union of Socialists and Communists
Not Contents: 149 ✅ Conservative Future, Right-Conservative, and Libertarians

The motion, having failed, is returned to the House of Commoners to decide by an absolute majority.

The House of Commoners
To support One: 66 Union of Socialists and Communists
To support Three: 85 ✅Conservative Future, Liberals & Greens Alliance, and Libertarians

[Annivia]

Motion #8: Addressing issue A Capital City for Annivia

5 December 2022

Issue
As Annivia continues to grow, so too does its government. The number of politicians needed to administrate and legislate the country is rapidly surpassing the Houses of Parliament’s capacity with ministers often requiring periscopes to see the House Speaker. Some are suggesting a new building be built in another city - a city which would then be designated as the capital city of Annivia.

The Debate

1. “I would like to make a humble recommendation for my own proud jurisdiction,” says Duncan Kennedy, mayor of one of Annivia’s major cities. “It would be an honour for our city to be host to the seat of power! If it will seal the deal, you can change the name if you like...”

2. “Hah! Capital city indeed!” shouts Kanya Rhodes, a fervent anarchist, spilling leaflets all over the floor. “What’s wrong with being free as the wind? Do you really think one city could possibly represent a whole country? Its people? I’ve had enough of the man trying to screw us down all the time! Say NO to a national capital!”

3. “I can accept and even approve of having a capital city,” says Omar Yeats, a military strategist. “But we’d be putting all our eggs in one basket if we choose somewhere too vulnerable! Believe me, capitals always get the brunt of the enemy attack because of their political and economic importance. We should put aside a few billion ans and build our capital city underground. They’ll never bomb us there!”

4. “I’ve got an idea,” says theme park tycoon, Lindsay Tew. “My company will happily sponsor the new establishment and cover all costs - as long as it’s made to our specifications. We’ve already got plans drawn up to put a roller coaster straight through the House of Commons! A cafe, some kiosks for ice cream... maybe even a water slide or two in the lobby! It’ll be one part legislative seat of government, one part family-fun theme park! Tourists will flock from around the globe!”

5. “What’s wrong with the old building?” asks Tina Evans, a noted antiestablishmentarian. “We don’t need some kind of fancy capital city just to make the bigwig ministers feel important! If there’s no room, then fire politicians until there IS room. Have you never heard of doing more with less?”

The House of Commoners
To support One: 123 ✅ Conservative Future, and Union of Socialists and Communists
To support Two: 13 Libertarians
To support Three: 0
To support Four: 0
To support Five: 14 Liberals & Greens Alliance
To dismiss: 0

The House of Cardinals, on a motion to consent
Contents: 218 ✅ Right-Conservative, Conservative Future, Liberatians, and Union of Socialists and Communists
Not Contents: 11 Libertarians

[Annivia]

Motion #9: Addressing issue Down in the Groove

5 December 2022

Issue
The literary world has been up in arms since the Annya Prize, the most prestigious award for writing, was awarded to Annivian rock star Dylan Roberts. This controversial honour has caused many to reconsider how literature should be taught in schools.


The Debate

1. “This is a disgrace to the arts,” remarks professor Virgil Medina, while taking a break from violently crossing out entire paragraphs from a pile of essays he is grading. “It is preposterous that a prestigious award should go to such an undeserving person. His lyrics, which contain improper grammar, slang and profanities, should not be taught in schools. Only proper literature - novels, essays and poems - should be considered appropriate material for the curriculum. The education system must encourage children to read books and poems, not listen to ‘pop’ music.”

2. “What?” says teenager Casimir Stephenson, while taking off his headphones. “Oh yeah, Dylan Roberts is totally cool. He’s, like, inspiring too. Last night, he inspired me to write a song. It’s called ‘Like a Tumbling Boulder’; wanna hear it?” Looking disappointed by his would-be audience’s insistence on not hearing the song, he resumes. “We should definitely learn more about rock sta... I mean, song lyrics in schools. Songs are like poems, except way less boring.”

3. “Have you heard some of these songs?” questions Heather Burns, your Minister of Education. “Many of Dylan Roberts’ songs express anti-government themes and encourage the youth of Annivia to do illegal things. We cannot allow these messages to exist any more. The government must take control of the music industry, censor anything that encourages illegal activity, and punish those who flout the law.”

The House of Commoners
To support One: 16 Union of Socialists and Communists
To support Two: 13 Libertarians
To support Three: 50 Union of Socialists and Communists
To dismiss: 71 ✅ Conservative Future, and Liberals & Greens Alliance

The House of Cardinals, on a motion to consent
Contents: 121 ✅ Right-Conservative, Conservative Future
Not Contents: 108 Union of Socialists and Communists, and Libertarians

[Annivia]

Motion #10: Commending the Government on ranking Top 5% of Least Corrupt World Governments

30 December 2022

The Motion
The Houses of Cardinals, and Commoners,

Celebrating that the Government in Annivia has ranked in the top 5% of least corrupt world governments,

Recognising the central role of government anti-corruption measures in the well-being of Annivians,

Hereby commend His Majesty's Government for its recognised world ranking.

House of Commoners
The motion passed by unanimous consent.

House of Cardinals
The motion passed by unanimous consent.

[Annivia]

Motion #11: Addressing issue Pay No Attention to That Donor Behind the Curtain!

30 December 2022

Issue
After several Party MPs and Cabinet Ministers refused to disclose their donor lists, an anonymous government source released the lists on the internet. To nobody’s surprise, the donors included several high society elites and foreign officials.


The Debate

1. “The fact that it took a leak to get this information out to the public is shameful in itself,” states corruption watchdog Harambe Harper. “Politicians shouldn’t get to hide who is financing them. We the people deserve to know who’s filling the pockets of our politicians, especially during elections. That way we can see who’s really pulling the strings of our politicians! We, the people, demand full transparency from our elected officials.”

2. “What about my right to privacy?” replies a woman wearing a fake mustache who looks suspiciously like the Supreme Leader of Blackacre. “Ever since those donor lists were released, I’ve been harassed to the point that I’ve had to change my Twitcher handle! There’s a reason why these lists are kept secret. Please, Leader, I implore you to protect the identities of all political donors.”

3. “Imagine how much less corruption there’d be if we simply regulated political donations,” suggests Marina O'Leary, a political science professor. “Money tends to corrupt, and absolute money corrupts absolutely. If we only allowed small donations of less than one hundred ans from private Annivian citizens, we’d have politicians who are beholden to the people, not the bigwigs.”

4. “I think the real problem here is how this ‘source’ was able to get this information,” comments your Public Safety Minister, who frequently reminds you to change the password of your government accounts. “We’ve gone all digital these days. That makes it all too easy to drop terabytes of top secret information on WikiSpills, or walk out with military documents on a USB drive. It’s time we went back to paper records under lock and key to store confidential government information. The environmentalists might not like it, but I’d like to see a leaker walk out here with a big filing cabinet!”

5. “The problem isn’t how, but why and who,” rebuts Silvio Tightlips, your most loyal staffer. “We need to weed out any leakers and staffers who are disloyal to you. Monitor the communications of every government employee and have them sign loyalty pledges. The guilty party will have no choice but to confess!”

The House of Commoners
To support One: 190 ✅ Conservative Future, Libertarians, and Union of Socialists and Communists
To support Two: 10 Libertarians
To support Three: 14 Liberals & Greens Alliance
To support Four: 0
To support Five: 17 Conservative Future
To dismiss: 0

The House of Cardinals, on a motion to consent
Contents: 134 ✅ Conservative Future, and Libertarians
Not Contents: 95 Union of Socialists and Communists, and Right-Conservative

[Annivia]

Motion #12: Addressing issue Safe Sects

31 December 2022

Issue
Your niece Minerva, who reached the age of majority three weeks ago and left home the day afterwards, has finally written a letter: “Hello, blood relatives. I am safe and have found my real, spiritual family. The Society of Love are wonderful people who truly care about me. I have pledged one trillion years of loyal service and all my present and future possessions to them. If you love me, let me be happy and send me my stuff. Ta and that. Bye forever, Sister Sunny Sunshine Sunbeam.”

The Debate

1. “Minerva has been brainwashed!” sobs your sister. “She’s been spouting mystical gobbledegook, acting distant, even reading. Now she’s gone to one of these closed communities and changed her name? These happy-clappy guitar-wielding maniacs tell naïve teenagers that they could have unending happiness and wisdom and all that bullsh... -hickey, and the wide-eyed simpletons believe it. Now she wants to give up everything, even her dreams, to be a slave forever? You must break-up every cultic group that preys on young people. Drag our children home, if necessary!”

2. “Many insecure adolescents and young adults can be drawn to apparently friendly groups that seem to possess all the answers,” postulates your uncle and sociologist, Engelbert, the author of Cult Classics and Faustian Faiths. “Cults often employ ‘love bombing’, a technique where all cult members express constant affection towards a potential convert to snare them. Young people may be especially vulnerable to this, particularly if they come from troubled households. No, ahem, offence to your sister. Educate our young people to be aware of indoctrination techniques and signs, and teach them to think for themselves. Steel our youngsters against the cults in our midst.”

3. “Cult is a word that the unspiritual and cowards use to mean a different idea,” retorts your nephew, who’s changed lately, after looking up from the brown-covered italics-titled book he’s reading. “Sunny Sunshi... Minerva is a grown woman. Once someone’s old enough to choose their own faith, everyone should butt-out. In fact, it’s no-one’s business what any spiritually mature person believes. Someone who’s attained Truth should not be kept from their spiritual home, just because they’re a tiny thirteen months from the age of legal majority. Free supremely spiritual folks to follow our consciences. After all, there’s no ‘community’ without ‘unity’, no ‘community’ withou... why are you all staring at me?”

The House of Commoners
To support One: 57 Conservative Future
To support Two: 80 ✅ Union of Socialists and Communists, and Liberals & Greens Alliance
To support Three: 13 Libertarians
To dismiss: 0

The House of Cardinals, on a motion to consent
Contents: 117 ✅ Union of Socialists and Communists, and Conservative Future
Not Contents: 112 Conservative Future, Libertarians, and Right-Conservative

[Annivia]

Motion #13: Addressing issue Annivia Looks to the Stars

1 January 2023

Issue
The recent popularity of a science-fiction TV show has prompted calls for Annivia to develop its own space program.

The Debate

1. “Don’t tell me space colonies wouldn’t be cool,” says excited fifth-grade teacher Nikolai Bell, still wearing big Spock ears from his last convention. “Think of how they would galvanize the national population! And there would also be some kind of scientific benefit, probably.”

2. “The project certainly is feasible, but very expensive,” says Annivian Space Agency Head Tabitha Grimes. “We could make it less of a burden on the taxpayers if we sought funding from private industry — advertisements on the side of our rockets, selling contracts to the Arms Manufacturing industry, that kind of thing.”

3. “If God had meant Man to fly, he would have given us solid rocket boosters instead of legs,” says religious type Birgitta Murphy. “We should not be looking to the stars, but rather inside our own hearts. That’s why we should abandon this so-called space program, and instead make the teaching of religion mandatory in all schools.”

The House of Commoners
To support One: 17 Union of Socialists and Communists
To support Two: 70 ✅ Conservative Future, and Libertarians
To support Three: 3 Liberals & Greens Alliance
To dismiss: 59 Liberals & Greens Alliance, and Union of Socialists and Communists

The House of Cardinals, on a motion to consent
Contents: 149 ✅ Conservative Future, Right-Conservative, and Libertarians[i]
Not Contents: 80 [i]Liberals & Greens Alliance, and Union of Socialists and Communists

[Annivia]

Motion #14: Addressing issue “Give Us Money!” Quoth the Poet

1 January 2023

Issue
The National Poetry Society of Annivia is demanding government-funded programs to promote the arts, especially poetry.

The Debate

1. “We need government help to promote culture,” says Elaine Pound, chairperson of the National Poetry Society of Annivia. “Poetry is the soul of our nation, the very pulse of humanity! We will ultimately be judged according to our contribution to artistic enlightenment. In other words, please provide funding for our humble mission to bring the beauty of poetry to the masses!”

2. “Artists and poets should support themselves, like everyone else,” replies Joe Wickremesinghe, spokesperson for the Capitalism Now Party. “The suffering taxpayers should be given a break. In fact, we should abolish all government subsidies for special interest groups.”

3. “Poets—who needs them?!” scoffs Nomathemba Douglas, Chairperson Emeritus of the Troglodyte Coalition. “These long-haired troublemakers should all be lined up against the wall and shot! That would be far more entertaining than reading some dumb poems!”

The House of Commoners
To support One: 14 Liberals & Greens Alliance
To support Two: 70 ✅ Conservative Future, and Libertarians
To support Three: 0
To dismiss: 66 Union of Socialists and Communists

The House of Cardinals, on a motion to consent
Contents: 149 ✅ Conservative Future, Right-Conservative, and Libertarians
Not Contents: 80 Union of Socialists and Communists

[Annivia]

Motion #15: Addressing issue Supreme Court Nomination

1 January 2023

Issue
The death of 108 year old Supreme Court Justice Elrond LeCarré has created an opening on the bench. Below are the possible nominees.

The Debate

1. Kayla Santos, the Former CEO of Annivia Products, says, “I have long sat by and watched our government viciously attack the big businesses in this country. The government has no right to control businesses and I will adopt that position in all of my judgements.”

2. Reverend Parighosh Assange is nominee #2. The Reverend says, “I am sick and tired of the liberals in this country ruining our family values. Every day they assault our basic sense of decency. You must vote for me to keep our families safe. Think of the children!”

3. Gay Activist and former Senator Vera Gibson is nominee #3. “Our people aren’t happy, we need more freedom, we need more civil rights. We must keep the government out of the bedroom. We must respect people’s right to privacy and remember that personal relations are just that, personal.”

4. Environmental Activist Chastity Merkel argues, “Our government has been constantly violating Mother Earth and her rights, all our politicians talk about are civil rights, civil rights this, civil rights that, blah blah blah. We aren’t important, what is important is the Earth!”

5. The last nominee is the retired Five Star General Hector Stone. “We are ridiculed throughout the international community for our low quality weaponry, our police and military numbers are not sufficient. Our military must be protected from both constitutional and civilian oversight. They should be given money, and a free hand.”

6. Finally, a tomato flies by your head flung by an angry protester. “We want to elect our own judges! This is a democracy! More power to the people! We don’t want a lapdog! Separation of Powers! Get the government out of the judicial system!” He chucks another tomato at you before security escorts him out of your private office.

The House of Commoners

Round One, voting by private ballot
To support Nominee One: 19
To support Nominee Two: 38
To support Nominee Three: 32
To support Nominee Four: 32
To support Nominee Five: 6 ❌
To support Six: 17
To dismiss: 6

Round Two, voting by private ballot
To support Nominee One: 24
To support Nominee Two: 38
To support Nominee Three: 33
To support Nominee Four: 32
To support Six: 17 ❌
To dismiss: 6

Round Three, voting by private ballot
To support Nominee One: 26 ❌
To support Nominee Two: 45
To support Nominee Three: 41
To support Nominee Four: 32
To dismiss: 6

Round Four, voting by private ballot
To support Nominee Two: 48
To support Nominee Three: 43
To support Nominee Four: 39 ❌
To dismiss: 20

Round Five, voting by private ballot
To support Nominee Two: 60
To support Nominee Three: 67 ✅
To dismiss: 23

The House of Cardinals, voting by private ballot on a motion to consent
Contents: 174 ✅
Not Contents: 55

[Annivia]

Motion #16: Addressing issue The Making of a Mass Murderer

2 January 2023

Issue
Seemingly with nothing better to do with their time, the Ministry of Statistics has conducted a study profiling the most prolific Annivian serial killers and murderers. They have determined that the vast majority of the perpetrators tend to be sexually frustrated single men.

The Debate

1. “The problem is that these unfortunate men are being denied entry into the sexual marketplace,” posits controversial University of Annivia City professor Peter Jordanson while stroking his goatee. “Women are humiliating these men with constant rejection. Is it any wonder that they snap? If you want to stop mass violence, we need to have government-arranged marriages and enforced monogamy, so that these men have loving wives who put out and take care of them. Do this, you’ll surely see murder rates drop.”

2. “You’re surely not going to listen to this misogynistic drivel, are you?” scoffs renowned feminist speaker Tamara Thomas. “It’s not women who are the problem, it’s men who think they are somehow owed sex! If you want this problem to go away, we need to start teaching our boys things like respect, consent, coping with rejection, and the inherent emotional immaturity of men. If men still can’t see the problem, well, there’s plenty of psychiatric institutions with available rooms.”

3. “I think maybe our report isn’t being taken as a whole,” drones Ministry Statistician Kerath Chew in a dull monotone. “Correlations with lack of sexual satisfaction exist, but there’s also low educational attainment, social isolation, childhood trauma, association with sexually deviant communities, lack of stable employment and the Hervey Cleckley ‘Mask of Sanity’ to consider. You know what would really help? More funding for the Ministry of Statistics, and a pay rise for your statisticians. I mean, sometimes, I get so frustrated about the lack of security in this lonely job. I know I should have studied harder, I just wanted to make mother proud but she always wanted more... always so much more...” He trails off and stares into space for a while.

4. “Looks like you have a problem with men with an urge to kill, and my special forces units have got a problem with low recruitment numbers,” states battlefield veteran Ellie Jamieson, fingering what looks worryingly like a necklace of human ears. “It’s a shame to waste that potential with marriage and nut houses. Why not kill two annyas with one stone and conscript violent men into the military? That way, the only people they can kill and maim are terrorists and enemy soldiers, not innocent Annivians.”

The House of Commoners
To support One: 0
To support Two: 14 Liberals & Greens Alliance
To support Three: 0
To support Four: 13 Libertarians
To dismiss: 127 ✅ Conservative Future, and Union of Socialists and Communists

The House of Cardinals, on a motion to consent
The motion passed by unanimous consent.

[Annivia]

Motion #17: Addressing issue The Show Must Go On

2 January 2023

Issue
Fewer and fewer people attend the Annivia City Opera House, largely because the younger generation and the common man consider the shows archaic and boring. The once packed auditorium now struggles to fill seats, and it is nowhere near turning a profit. Without help, the Annivia City Opera House is likely to close its doors.

The Debate

1. “Empty spaces, what are we living for? Abandoned places, I guess we know the score,” melodramatically declares singer-songwriter Teddie Hercules. “If Annivia loses opera, then we lose the very soul of our culture. Some things are bigger than money, and I’m not just talking about the leading tenor’s waistline. I insist that we establish an Annivian Arts Council to fund the opera and ensure that talented mezzos and baritones can survive, no matter the cost. The show must go on, go on...”

2. “No problem, I can Handel the funding for you,” suggests TV-producer Jamie Ponta, while spreading out before you possible contracts for various TV programs. “Here are ideas for live elimination shows, dating shows, and celebrity-studded musicals to take place in that lovely building downtown. I’ve got a vision of big money, big drama, big entertainment, big merchandise, and big ratings: I call it Bopera. It’s a big yes from me. Give my venture cultural-exemption tax status, and I’ll keep the opera house’s doors open.”

3. “Waste of good land,” succinctly concludes property developer Molly Wheeler. “This is prime city centre real estate that could be upscale housing and a parking lot. I mean, what would you rather do: sit through six hours of fat people in ridiculous viking helmets singing in a language you don’t understand, or cut time off your commute to work?”

The House of Commoners
To support One: 66 ✅ Union of Socialists and Communists
To support Two: 0
To support Three: 57 Conservative Future
To dismiss: 27 Liberals & Greens Alliance, and Libertarians

The House of Cardinals, on a motion to consent
Contents: 80 Union of Socialists and Communists
Not Contents: 149 ✅ Right-Conservative, Conservative Future, and Libertarians

The motion, having failed, is returned to the House of Commoners to decide by an absolute majority.

The House of Commoners
To support One: 66 Union of Socialists and Communists, and Liberals & Greens Alliance
To support Three: 84 ✅ Conservative Future, Liberals & Greens Alliance, and Libertarians

The House of Cardinals, on a motion to consent
The motion passed by unanimous consent.

[Annivia]

Motion #18: Addressing issue Lost at Sea

3 January 2023

Issue
Years have passed since the failed search for the missing yacht Adventurer, which was reported lost with all hands, came to an end. Now it has finally been found, locked in pack ice in the ocean around Northern Brancaland. Nautical enthusiasts are asking how to prevent this from happening again.

The Debate

1. “Obviously, we need to have all recreational vessels create and submit a travel plan to my office before they leave port,” suggests your Maritime Minister, Tsongba Lowe, as he places a map of coastal Annivia on your desk. “If they transmit a distress call, we’ll send out rescue teams to search for them. They would have to pay a small fee to cover expenses, but it will be worth it for everyone’s safety.”

2. “Then we could spend hours looking for them,” sarcastically remarks your Technology Minister, Bruce Shore, as he rips up the map and replaces it with a new globe. “Equip every vessel with radar and the latest GPS systems. We’ll monitor them from new tracking stations built all along the coastline, then we can send out rescue teams directly to them. The Coast Guard has been underfunded for years, I’m sure they would appreciate all these fancy new toys.”

3. “Everyone knows that you’ll reach the Great Ice Wall if you sail too far!” exclaims fervent flat-earther, Gretel Bennett, while trying to flatten your new globe with a rolling pin. “It would be too much hassle either way to track all these boats, especially when the solution is obvious: ban all recreational boating! If no one sails, no one will get trapped in ice.”

4. “Avast! Ye government knaves have no right to dictate where me and me hearties travel!” shouts suspected pirate, Edward Teach, as he barges into your office and impales the remains of your globe with his cutlass. “The Annya’s Revenge shall sail wherever she pleases! Ye landlubbing government scallywags must get rid of all restrictions on freedom of navigation in your territorial waters, or you’ll be walking the plank!”

The House of Commoners
To support One: 88 ✅ Conservative Future, Union of Socialists and Communists, and Liberals & Greens Alliance
To support Two: 49 Union of Socialists and Communists
To support Three: 0
To support Four: 13 Libertarians
To dismiss: 0

The House of Cardinals, on a motion to consent
Contents: 173 Right-Conservative, Conservative Future, Liberatians, and Union of Socialists and Communists
Not Contents: 49 Union of Socialists and Communists
Non-voting: 7

[Annivia]

Motion #19: Addressing issue Trash Talk

3 January 2023

Issue
After massive trash heaps overflowed onto one of Annivia City’s busiest intersections, causing traffic to grind to a halt for ten hours, many have agreed that the nation’s litter problem is out of control. In response, representatives from the Society for the Prettying Up of Annivia have come to your office proposing a nationwide beautification campaign to pick it all up.

The Debate

1. “Our wonderful country is being buried by this refuse!” wails SPUA President Hosea Pushkin. “It’s simply a disgrace! We need funding and able-bodied men and women to stage a monthly clean-up of our once-treasured land. We’d pick up litter, plant trees, touch up the paint on the old courthouse — we’d polish up the whole country! As an incentive, participants could receive a small stipend.”

2. “Now why on Earth should hard-working citizens do this?” asks the Warden of Annivia City Penitentiary, Megan Wilson. “We’ve got plenty of worthless criminals sitting around with their thumbs up their butts. Give these scum something worthwhile to do. They’ll get to pay off their debt to society by helping clean it up!”

3. “It’s not enough to just clean it up,” asserts the CEO of Showers of Flowers. “We need a massive project to show Lazarus how proud of our country we truly are. With a whole lot of government funds, my company could build the Hanging Gardens of Annivia City. Picture it now: flowing vines down the walls, blooming daisies, baskets of chrysanthemums, thousands upon thousands of tourists. Think of the pride. Think of the money.”

4. “Why are we wasting our time with this nonsense?” asks infamous miser Sufjan Dumas. “All this hullabaloo over a little trash. Here’s a news flash: there’s always going to be trash! A bunch of hippies prancing around on the government’s dime ain’t gonna change that! You should know better than to spend our tax ans on such frivolous endeavors. Why don’t you beautify our wallets instead and give us a tax break?”

The House of Commoners
To support One: 0
To support Two: 0
To support Three: 68 Union of Socialists and Communists, and Liberals & Greens Alliance
To support Four: 70 ✅ Conservative Future, and Libertarians
To dismiss: 6 Liberals & Greens Alliance

The House of Cardinals, on a motion to consent
Contents: 147 ✅ Right-Conservative, Conservative Future, Liberatians, and Union of Socialists and Communists
Not Contents: 80 Union of Socialists and Communists
Non-voting: 2

[Annivia]

Motion #20: Addressing issue Bye Bye to the Birdies?

3 January 2023

Issue
After Smalltopian journalists reporting on recent protein powder trade negotiations penned more articles on Annivian government buildings covered in bird droppings than international commerce, questions have been raised as to whether Annivia’s “pigeon problem” has gotten out of control.

The Debate

1. “Get these damned flying rats off me!” yells Lucina Hitchcock, a member of the Annivia City Beautification Council, desperately trying to wave away the pigeons pecking at her. “These vermin are everywhere, defecating on us, spreading disease and damaging bronze and marble with their caustic droppings. It’s all happening because a bunch of nutjobs are feeding them to feel good about themselves. Leader, ban pigeon-feeding immediately, so we may be free of this feathered pestilence!”

2. “This is their city as much as it is ours,” sings your childhood nanny Miriam Poppout, while staring at a snow globe with unsettling intensity. “You can’t let these beautiful creatures die! We should embrace bird feeding. Annivia City will become known as ‘The City of a Million Pigeons’ and tourists will flock from across the world to see the birds and feed them at only two ans a bag.”

3. “I can’t see what the fuss is about,” chimes in B. F. Spinner, a spokesperson of the Annivia City Ornithological Society. “Ask any illusionist or postman you know: pigeons are highly trainable animals. If the problem is that they are pooping around, they can simply be given potty training. Just put small toilet bowls at designated spots in the city, equipped with a food dispenser that gives food pellets when a pigeon poops there. The pooping behavior will thus be positively reinforced and — voila! — the next time the pigeon will go to the toilet bowl when it needs to poop. Problem solved!”

The House of Commoners
To support One: 70 ✅ Conservative Future, and Libertarians
To support Two: 59 Liberals & Greens Alliance, and Union of Socialists and Communists
To support Three: 0
To dismiss: 21 Union of Socialists and Communists

The House of Cardinals, on a motion to consent
Contents: 121 ✅ Right-Conservative, Conservative Future
Not Contents: 104Union of Socialists and Communists, and Liberatians
Non-voting: 4

[Annivia]

Motion #21: Addressing issue Press Gang

5 January 2023

Issue
Your Minister of the Interior recently held an invitation-only press conference: a three-hour parade of lowball questions such as “What’s your favorite thing about interior design?” and “What color paint do you recommend for my son’s bedroom?” Many of the media outlets that were not invited to the event are less than impressed.

The Debate

1. “This was the most blatant display of corruption I’ve ever seen!” screams Leader Sucks reporter Rory Dimitrov, slipping your security guard a bribe to get into your office. “The media’s job is to hold the government accountable, not to cozy up to them for favors! Any reporter who wants access to an official event should get it, and officials should be forced to take questions from everyone in the room!”

2. “The event was invitation-only due to limited seating and my very busy schedule,” asserts your Minister of the Interior, taking a break from casually chatting with the chief editor of The Leader Times. “Who gets to attend press conferences and the like should be up to our discretion, since it’s our decision to hold them in the first place. Maybe we could discuss this further over a drink?”

3. “You’d solve all these problems if you’d just put a little faith in technology,” assures junior IT staffer Agatha Lawson, whose historic solution to every IT problem has been ‘try turning it off and on again’. “You should set up a pre-moderated public online text feed for each government official, where only a cherry-picked selection of carefully edited questions get posted. It’ll make these press conferences a thing of the past, and make sure we always have time to prepare our answers.”

The House of Commoners
To support One: 107 ✅ Conservative Future, Union of Socialists and Communists, Liberals & Greens Alliance and Libertarians
To support Two: 0
To support Three: 0
To dismiss: 43 Conservative Future

The House of Cardinals, on a motion to consent
The motion passed by unanimous consent.

[Annivia]

Motion #22: Addressing issue Rodney and Julietta

5 January 2023

Issue
The unlikely romance between your nephew Rodney and Princess Julietta, the second daughter of the King of Moltevino, has been the talk of Lazarus for many months. However, it hit a snag when the young couple decided to make a long-term commitment. Moltevino refuses to sanction such a match, as your nephew is not of royal blood.

The Debate

1. “The King of Moltevino extends his noble hand in friendship,” declares Moltevino’s ambassador Lord Capello between tightly clenched lips, half-bowing. “Our fair kingdom has been enriched by exports of our many grape-based products and would like to share that glory through a favorable trade agreement. The King has one small request in return: lock your threadbare juggler of a nephew away from the Pearl of Moltevino, burn all his mad-headed ravings of love, and keep that rancorous coxcomb confined until he has foresworn all ties that he claims existed between himself and the Princess. Her Radiance isn’t a hedge-born puterelle who should be consorting with commoners! No offence intended.”

2. “Pathetic little Moltevino is trying to push us around?” scoffs the Minister of Ego-Boosting. “You could spit from one side of their country and hit the other side! Their only notable export is wine. Granted, it’s damn good wine, but we still have Marche Noire. Let good old Princess Jules come and live in Annivia. What are the Moltevinans gonna do? Invade us to get their ‘Pearl’ back? With what — their army of three pensioners, two cowards, and one courageous golden retriever named ‘Cuddles’? I’d like to see them try!”

3. “Fair Moltevino has so much more than wine,” exhorts Wally Weaver, the Minister of Culture, as he holds up a brochure. “Look at this: meandering river cruises through wine country, historic architecture, Lovers’ Clock in the piazza vecchia. Perhaps an influx of tourist cash might be the tie that binds this lovers’ knot, through a story that shouldn’t be forgot. The young couple could settle in their preferred nation, and in return we would help promote Moltevino as a major tourist destination. Lots of sightseers visiting romantic places can put a smile on even the grumpiest of kings’ faces. For never was a story marketed better, than that of Rodney and his Julietta.”

4. “Oh, just become a monarch,” shrugs your laziest nephew, Luciano, who’s just been fired after one day at his latest in a long line of jobs. “Come on, you waving to the people from balconies, talking about ‘royal unions between two nations, both alike in dignity’... folks’d love it! Then Rodney would be ‘His Royal Highness Rodney of Annivia’ and I’d never have to work again... I mean, and he could be with the Princess. Wouldn’t that be cool?”

The House of Commoners
To support One: 14 Union of Socialists and Communists
To support Two: 57 ✅ Conservative Future
To support Three: 27 Liberals & Greens Alliance, and Libertarians
To support Four: 0
To dismiss: 52 Union of Socialists and Communists

The House of Cardinals, on a motion to consent
Contents: 106 ✅ Conservative Future
Not Contents: 31 Union of Socialists and Communists
Non-voting: 92 Right-Conservative, Liberatians, and Union of Socialists and Communists

[Annivia]

Motion #23: Addressing issue Going on the Cyber Offensive

5 January 2023

Issue
A student was recently suspended by a school for posting negative comments online about a fellow classmate. The offensive message read “Rory’s dad is such a drunk, that he didn’t just lose his front door keys, he lost his whole front door... and his house... and his job. Sucks to be his son, huh?”. As both the suspended students’ parents are celebrities, there’s been a lot of media coverage of the incident, and now everybody is talking about it. Some are calling this harmless fun, while others have labeled it “cyberbullying.” It seems that everyone wants to know where you stand.

The Debate

1. “This is a complete violation of my rights,” claims Sabrina Scully, the student in question. “I can say whatever I want outside of school, as long as I like, don’t, like, harm anyone. Like, the whole free speech thing, you know. I wasn’t in school, so they can’t punish me. People just need to be allowed to say whatever. By the way, check out my latest roasting of this one geography teacher at my school who doesn’t take showers.”

2. “Schools need to be stricter,” whispers Agnieszka Barker, worriedly looking around before nibbling on a bar of chocolate. “People used to use my name, but now I’m just ‘Ugly Fat-Face’. Please, make it stop! Schools should strictly punish students who say rude things online.”

3. “Kids these days, they’re geni.. geniei... uh... geniuses!” exclaims Eliot Gonzalez, your Minister of Solutions. “This is the best idea we’ve had in a while! With elections coming up, we can hire a few of these prodigies of the put-down, and pay them to work for us. The kids can, as they say, ‘roast’ the other politicians, and make you look great in comparison!”

The House of Commoners
To support One: 70 ✅ Conservative Future, and Libertarians
To support Two: 66 Union of Socialists and Communists
To support Three: 0
To dismiss: 14 Liberals & Greens Alliance

The House of Cardinals, on a motion to consent
Contents: 134 ✅ Conservative Future, and Libertarians
Not Contents: 95 Union of Socialists and Communists, and Right-Conservative
Non-voting: 0

[Annivia]

Motion #24: Addressing issue Women Demand Equal Opportunities

6 January 2023

Issue
The women of Annivia are demanding an end to wage discrimination in the workplace.

The Debate

1. “The government must put a stop to businesses discriminating against women when they apply for a job!” chants Yolanda Ruiz, a ferocious supporter of women’s rights. “Did you know that, on average, men in Annivia earn substantially more than women for doing the same job? For too long has the female race been discriminated against in our society due to their sex! We demand equal wages, equal opportunities, and equal respect for women, and we demand them now!”

2. “Hey, my business is treading a thin enough profit margin as it is,” complains Malcolm Amin, CEO of Heavy Lifting Incorporated. “Women just aren’t as good as men at certain jobs, it’s a probably proven fact! Take firefighting - if you were dying from smoke inhalation and collapsed on the floor unable to move, who would you prefer to attempt to rescue you? A man with superior muscular strength or some weakling female? Go on, you decide. Let the businesses decide what they pay and who they pay it to - after all, the economy depends on us.”

3. “Hah! Our society is getting far too soft!” rages Darren Garak, a staunch male chauvinist. “Whatever happened to the days when a man could go back home to find his good lady wife with his tea ready and his slippers warm? I’ve heard that some men even have to cook and clean for themselves! We should be actively encouraging women to stay where they belong by making it expected that women get paid half what men do for the same job. After all, their poor brains are prone to overheating, so they’re naturally less efficient in the workplace.”

4. “Personally, I think things went wrong as soon as women got labelled as the ‘fairer’ sex,” interrupts Catherine Gratwick, author of the best-selling novel ‘Gynaecocracy For Beginners’. “We’re strong, we’re willing - and we’re just plain better than men. See what a state the world is in when they’re in charge? I propose that all jobs should preferentially be offered to women first, so that men are encouraged to stay at home and be househusbands.”

The House of Commoners
To support One: 38 Liberals & Greens Alliance, and Union of Socialists and Communists
To support Two: 48 ✅ Conservative Future
To support Three: 29 Conservative Future, and Union of Socialists and Communists
To support Four: 4 Liberals & Greens Alliance
To dismiss: 31 Libertarians, and Union of Socialists and Communists

The House of Cardinals, on a motion to consent
Contents: 89 Conservative Future, and Right-Conservative
Not Contents: 108 ✅ Union of Socialists and Communists, and Libertarians
Non-voting: 32 Conservative Future

The motion, having failed, is returned to the House of Commoners to decide by an absolute majority.

The House of Commoners
To support One: 93 ✅ Union of Socialists and Communists, Liberals & Greens Alliance, and Libertarians
To support Two: 57 Conservative Future

The House of Cardinals, on a motion to consent
Contents: 108 ✅ Union of Socialists and Communists, and Libertarians
Not Contents: 106 Conservative Future, and Right-Conservative
Non-voting: 15 Conservative Future