[SUBMITTED] Gourd Guard

[Floofybit]

I've brought a spooky issue for y'all and would love your feedback!

Gourd Guard

Validation: Must Have Religion

Preface: It is tradition for people of Brancaland heritage to carve faces and creatures in pumpkins during autumn and place them outside their houses to ward off spirits. However, while your religious minister was walking the streets of @@CAPITAL@@, admiring the pumpkins, @@HE@@ noticed a horrific sight. An intricate carving of the devil sits on the porch of apartment 666, for all to see.

Option 1: Your religious minister, @@RANDOMNAME@@, crawls into your office, shaking in fear. "Did you see what they carved in that pumpkin? It was horrible. If you don't outright ban this pumpkin carving tradition, who knows what terrible pictures we'll see next?" @@HE@@ stands there, mouth open, with a scarred look on @@HIS@@ face. "Arrest this unrighteous heathen and destroy the pumpkins!"

Outcome: the government holds annual pumpkin smashing competitions

Option 2: "Now, now, let's not get too hasty here. Sure, this picture was, well, devilish, but the pumpkins weren't!" claims @@RANDOMNAME@@, your minister of quality foods. "Rather than letting people carve these pumpkins, we can prevent satanic images by eating all the pumpkins! Just imagine pumpkins as a staple of @@NAME@@. Pumpkin pie, pumpkin cheesecake, even pumpkin soda. Trust me. It sounds gross, but as your minister of quality foods, I would know."

Outcome: jack-o'-lanterns are @@NAME@@'s national dish

Option 3: "No! You can't destroy the pumpkins! These are a sacred tradition that is holy to our people." excalaims concerned Brancalandian priest, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "If we don't have these lanterns, how will we ward off the evil spirits, such as the one carved on that pumpkin? For the sake of our religion, set up a Gourd Guard so the devil can't be carved on the pumpkins, but holy spirit's can!"

Outcome: pastors constantly monitor the streets for devil-o'-lanterns

Option 4: "Why are you all ganging up on me? What ever happened to freedom of speech?" questions @@RANDOMNAME@@, resident of apartment 666. "I should be able to carve what I want, on any fruit I want! End this corrupt ideology that your religion is truer than mine, and commend me, and all the other carvers like me for our bravery!"

Outcome: carved pumpkins are commonly used in protest

[Catalonia 2070 RP]

You should probably replace the "she" for city counsilor with @@HE@@.

[Floofybit]

You should probably replace the "she" for city counsilor with @@HE@@.

Thanks!

[Trotterdam]

Public porn is illegal in most nations. Why would it make a difference that this example in particular involved pumpkins?

[Floofybit]

Public porn is illegal in most nations. Why would it make a difference that this example in particular involved pumpkins?

That is why they have to deal with the man who made it and see if people still get the privilege to keep carving pumpkins. Even if it's illegal, there is always someone who will do it, and you have to decide what to do with him, and the pumpkins

[Trotterdam]

You can make porn using any of numerous media. This doesn't result in nations banning paint or crayons or clay.

Pornographic pumpkin carving cannot be a common enough occurence to warrant special treatment.

[Floofybit]

You can make porn using any of numerous media. This doesn't result in nations banning paint or crayons or clay.

Pornographic pumpkin carving cannot be a common enough occurence to warrant special treatment.

If you don't think that pumpkins should be banned, wouldn't you just choose options 3 or 4?

[Australian rePublic]

Just ban people from carving pornographic images, but allow them to carve anything else

[Floofybit]

Just ban people from carving pornographic images, but allow them to carve anything else

Alright, option 4 was added!

[Floofybit]

Added poll and a few grammar fixes.

Would love specific feedback, especially on option 4!

[Floofybit]

As this issue has reached the next page, I am bumping it. Please give feedback! Even if it's good, I still want to here, "nothing is wrong."

[Outer Sparta]

I'm still confused how one can carve pornography onto a pumpkin. It's just a pumpkin carving, you can't really portray clothes on pumpkin carvings (unless if you are an extremely advanced artist and can somehow pull it off). I would restructure it, so the creature is considered a devil that is said to bring curses and witchcraft.

Apartment 666 would be a better number for humorous effect, given it's the number of the devil.

Why is a city counselor offended by it? Wouldn't a religious priest or some evangelical people be offended more?

[Floofybit]

I'm still confused how one can carve pornography onto a pumpkin. It's just a pumpkin carving, you can't really portray clothes on pumpkin carvings (unless if you are an extremely advanced artist and can somehow pull it off). I would restructure it, so the creature is considered a devil that is said to bring curses and witchcraft.

Apartment 666 would be a better number for humorous effect, given it's the number of the devil.

Why is a city counselor offended by it? Wouldn't a religious priest or some evangelical people be offended more?

Ooh, I actually like that idea! I'll get to work on editing. Plus, it will make it more on the Halloween side of things

[Floofybit]

Updated accordingly with the next draft! Thoughts?

[Outer Sparta]

Question: is the spelling of "gaurd" intentional or is it supposed to be "guard?" I see it in the title and in option 3.

[Floofybit]

Question: is the spelling of "gaurd" intentional or is it supposed to be "guard?" I see it in the title and in option 3.

It wasn't intentional. Thanks for the catch!

[Floofybit]

If anyone has more feedback, please let me know!!!

[Floofybit]

As this has reached the end of the page, LAST CALL!

[Panagouge]

The description could use less redundancy. E.g : "Sitting in Apartment 666 is a pumpkin bearing an intricately carved demon, for all to see."

[RedBrickLand]

I really like the issue. I do have some suggestions though. (My suggestions are probably horrible but I'm just throwing them out there)

OPTION 1 result: a yearly government tradition is to hold a pumpkin smashing contest

OPTION 2 result: an unusual number of @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ have been reported to have orange or yellow skin

[Floofybit]

The description could use less redundancy. E.g : "Sitting in Apartment 666 is a pumpkin bearing an intricately carved demon, for all to see."

Updated! Is this better?

[Floofybit]

I really like the issue. I do have some suggestions though. (My suggestions are probably horrible but I'm just throwing them out there)

OPTION 1 result: a yearly government tradition is to hold a pumpkin smashing contest

OPTION 2 result: an unusual number of @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ have been reported to have orange or yellow skin

Updated the first result! I agree that the second result is kinda slim, and needs a replacement, but it took me a while to understand the second fallout joke.

Thanks though!

[Panagouge]

Updated! Is this better?

Much better! Although, is it sight or site, or is a pun?

[Floofybit]

Updated! Is this better?

Much better! Although, is it sight or site, or is a pun?

I guess they both could work, but sight probably makes more sense, considering they saw it. Thanks! Updated

[Australian rePublic]

With notable exceptions, I tend to only post once in an issue draft because I feel like I've contributed everything I need to contribute. This is one of those instances where I only contribute once