[Roleplays] :: World Cup 92

by **Electrum** » Tue Sep 20, 2022 6:26 pm

Final pots

POT 1 :: Vilita, Electrum, Turori, Valanora, Tumbra, Graintfjall, Farfadillis, Pemecutan
POT 2 :: Squidroidia, Kandorith, Nephara, Ko-oren, Banija, Zwangzug, Cassadaigua, Huayramarca
POT 3 :: Drawkland, Eura, Squornshelan Remnant States, Mytanija, Independent Athletes from Quebec, Commonwealth of Baker Park, Savigliane, Nyowani Kitara
POT 4 :: Chromatika, Flavovespia, Kelssek, Savojarna, Tikariot, TJUN-ia, Milchama, Geektopia

Final groups

Group A (In Vilita, scorinated by Electrum)
Independent Athletes from Quebec
Ko-oren
Savojarna
Vilita

Group B (In Vilita, scorinated by Vilita)
Tumbra
Nephara
TJUN-ia
Commonwealth of Baker Park

Group C (In Vilita, scorinated by Electrum)
Kelssek
Farfadillis
Nyowani Kitara
Zwangzug

Group D (In Vilita, scorinated by Electrum)
Geektopia
Pemecutan
Kandorith
Savigliane

Group E (In Electrum, scorinated by Vilita)
Drawkland
Tikariot
Banija
Electrum

Group F (In Electrum, scorinated by Electrum)
Cassadaigua
Turori
Chromatika
Eura

Group G (In Electrum, scorinated by Vilita)
Mytanija
Milchama
Huayramarca
Graintfjall

Group H (In Electrum, scorinated by Vilita)
Valanora
Squidroidia
Flavovespia
Squornshelan Remnant States

Final schedule

Cutoff time for Vilita (Groups B, E, G and H) is 0200 UTC. Cutoff time for Electrum is 0900 UTC (Groups A, C, D and F). Americans please note that the dates are listed in UTC.

MD1: 1v4 2v3
MD2: 1v2 3v4
MD3: 3v1 4v2

1st November -- MD1
3rd November -- MD2
5th November -- MD3

0200 UTC, 8th November - Round of 16 (an extra day)
0900 UTC, 10th November - Quarterfinals
0200 UTC, 12th November - Semifinals (note the 41 hour cutoff)
0200 UTC, 13th November - Third place playoff
0200 UTC, 14th November - Final

by **Vilita** » Wed Sep 21, 2022 4:43 am

twii.tur Partnership allows fans to vote on venues for their teams Matches!

Alikki-Corra, Vilita :: Turorian entity twii.tur have announced an exciting partnership with the Football Associations of Vilita & Electrum World Cup 92 Organizing to enable fans to vote on the information exchange platform to determine which venues will be used to host World Cup 92 Group Stage matches in the Tropics of Vilita. Fans will be given a number of choices depending on which group a single team is drawn into and venues with the most votes will be announced as the host venue for matches in that group on that matchday. Fans looking to buy tickets for matches ahead of the announcement of official venues can rest assured that the organizing committee have group Vilitan venues geographically such that the outcome of an individual vote should not change the distance to a particular stadium venue by too great of an amount. Except in Group C. And possibly Group D And surely there is nothing that could go wrong like write-in ballots and matches hosted in Stadium McStadiumface, because there is no such place in the Vilitan Cove that we know of. Yet.

Map of Vilita & Turori

(Click Here to Access the Vilitan Stadium Selection Tool to choose your Group Stage Venues)

Group A: Cove / Capital Region

Lighthouse Stadium, Lonngeylin, Vilita :: Capacity: 98140 [ Primary Tenant: Lonngeylin Coast ]
Lonngeylin Coliseum, Lonngeylin, Vilita :: Capacity: 141500 Primary Tenant: Jungle Strike FC
Tivali Ring Stadium, Alikki-Corra, Vilita :: Capacity: 87000 [ Primary Tenant: Vilita National Team ]
Council Stadium, Tivali, Vilita :: Capacity: 62000 [ Primary Tenant: Tivali City ]
Marine World Park, Crosaibi, Vilita :: Capacity: 57500 [ Primary Tenant: Marine Coast United ]
Sissil Bank Stadium, Sissil, Vilita :: Capacity: 55000 [ Primary Tenant: Rammsissil ]
Canopy Gate, Seraai, Vilita :: Capacity: 72000 [ Primary Tenant: Jaguar Moreda ]
Lunar Park, Seraai, Vilita :: Capacity: 129500 Primary Tenant: Eastal Lunar

Group B: Turoki Island

Turoki Community Complex, Turoki City, Vilita :: Capacity: 125000 [ Primary Tenant: Turoki Tide ]
Turoki National Stadium, Turoki City, Vilita :: Capacity: 120000 [ Primary Tenant: Turoki Isle ]
Colonial Field, Sile, Vilita :: Capacity: 87500 [ Primary Tenant: Colonial Sile ]
Track Venture Field, Sile, Vilita :: Capacity: 86000 [ Primary Tenant: Makosile United ]
Bear Claw Stadium, Mavaloiao, Vilita :: Capacity: 69000 [ Primary Tenant: Mavaloiao FC ]
Tropicorp Park, Tropicoast, Tropicorp :: Capacity: 75000 [ Primary Tenant: Tropicorp FC ]

Group C: Northern Region

Kionao Minor Field, Kionao, Turori :: Capacity: 107000 [ Primary Tenant: Kionao Locals ]
Cednia Beach Center, Cednia, Turori :: Capacity: 103000 [ Primary Tenant: Cednia Beach AFC ]
Iobabao Legendary Park, Mliona, Turori :: Capacity: 90500 [ Primary Tenant: Mliona-Lpaka ]
Almintora National Stadium, Almintora, Turori :: Capacity: 79000 [ Primary Tenant: FC Almintora ]
Eels Park, Eelandii, Turori :: Capacity: 68000 [ Primary Tenant: Turori National Team ]
twii.tur Field at Sokattack Stadium, Mliona, Turori :: Capacity: 62500 [ Primary Tenant: Sokattack Mliona ]
Lirai Asku Castle, Yeaddin, Vilita :: Capacity: 62000 [ Primary Tenant: Yeaddin Owls ]
Kolosaio Voreios Yeaddin Olympique, Yeaddin, Vilita :: Capacity: TBD [ Primary Tenant: Vilitan Union Olympic Committee ]

Group D: The Rest

Vilaye Field at Malaveisa Stadium, Vilisorma, Vilita :: Capacity: 72000 [ Primary Tenant: Yutzie Sorma ]
National View Stadium, Morata Valley, Vilita :: Capacity: 126000 [ Primary Tenant: Inland Peaks ]
Lopinka National Stadium, Lopinka, Vilita :: Capacity: 100000 [ Primary Tenant: Lopinka Rovers ]
Irottea Unity Field, Irottea, Vilita :: Capacity: 91000 [ Primary Tenant: Irottea Exiles ]
Arcticala Electrical Stadium, Arcticala, Vilita :: Capacity: 90277 [ Primary Tenant: Arcticala Inlet ]
Lirai Asku Castle, Yeaddin, Vilita :: Capacity: 62000 [ Primary Tenant: Yeaddin Owls ]

by **Electrum** » Wed Sep 21, 2022 5:38 am

Electrum Information

About Electrum

Electrum is a very large but sparsely populated nation situated in the Terranea region of Rushmore. Its capital city is Centralis and its national food is the democracy sausage. The country is well known for its finance and science industries, and for its devotion to pacifism. Electrum has been ruled jointly by a Governor-General and a five-dimensional overlord called 'The Computator' for quite some time now. How the overlord came to rule over Electrum is a long story, but it relates to the fact that the overlord rescued Electrum from the time warp it was stuck in for at least several decades.

There are a few quirks that athletes can expect in Electrum. They will have to contend with a completely digital currency (the Synergy), a fanatical devotion to board games and (mostly) zero tolerance for hooligans. Lines to enter venues may take longer than usual due to stringent security checks -- no flares, no disorder, no obscenely large banners, no hooligans, and no criminality of any sort is allowed (although some may slip through the cracks, especially in Agri and Port Grenville). Electrum has notably quite the history in the footballing world having hosted World Cup 76 and allegedly winning World Cup 78 (though many Electrumites will refuse to admit this fact as it is a 'running joke'). The nation then fell into obscurity for a while before its return. Unsatisfied in not reaching the World Cup after two consecutive attempts in not doing so, it was decided that Electrum bid for the World Cup to guarantee our entry.

As an experienced host of world-class competitions, there are two groups that the world's players need to look out for while they're in Electrum. All players will be subject to constant drug-testing from the Doping Testing Authority, who will test players at random before and after matches to ensure doping does not occur (though recreational drugs are probably fine, they will become just a bit more suspicious). The Match Integrity Unit also interrogates players and managers for vague reasons such as an 'unexpected outcome in a match,' and are there to ensure that no funny business is happening (match fixing).

About the cities and venues

Agri
Agri is situated in a rainy and wet area in the north eastern parts of Electrum. It is one of the poorer cities of Electrum with the city deeply connected to the surrounding rural areas as a hub for agriculture. Agrians are known for their passionate support for sports. Teams playing here should expect flares and other attempts to disrupt matches, especially if the matches don't go their way, or if a particularly unpopular team shows up. Because of this, there is expected to be a heavy police presence in Agri. You can expect to see the audience pick sides and boo a team they don't like at will. Walkers Stadium is the Agri venue, and has a comfortable capacity of 50,000 seats. Uniquely, the pitch is retractable and can be opened to reveal a swimming pool, as it used to host the Modern Pentathlon at the Olympics.

MD1: Tikariot vs Banija
MD2: Huayramarca vs Graintfjall
MD3: Eura vs Turori
R16: Valanora vs Electrum

Auras
Auras, the tiny territorial town to the north of Electrum, where most of Electrum's mining take place, will play host to one match of the World Cup. It is an administrative centre for the two mining territories in the Northern reaches of Electrum, known for its opal mining and its dusty and dry deserts. Auras' humble stadium, the Auras Oval, is designed for 12,000 spectators, one of the smallest venues ever for the World Cup. It is currently in its dry season, so temperatures are expected to climb to 35-40 degrees Celsius during the middle of the day. Luckily teams will be playing at 11pm local time where the temperature will be half the midday peak. Auras Oval has only the most basic of facilities with the recovery room being shared by both teams.

MD2: Mytanija vs Milchama

Burnton
Burnton, a commuter town of Centralis, is only a thirty minute car ride from the outer suburbs of western Centralis. Here is where the unique codes of football dominate such as gridiron. A quiet seaside city, it is the gateway to stunning and pristine beaches on the west coast of Bittern Bay. The people of Burnton are rowdy, but not as rowdy as the ones from Agri. Here, spectators always cheer for the underdog team, though field-side sentiment may change off a red or yellow card. Fitzgerald Stadium is newly redeveloped and shades most spectators (65,000 in total), whilst allowing natural sunlight to hit the field. It is one of the highest quality stadiums in Electrum which has once hosted the World Bowl final in the past.

MD1: Squidroidia vs Flavovespia

Centralis
Centralis is a cosmopolitan and multicultural city and is centrally located in Electrum -- being the gateway of the entire country, with its world renowned international airport and hub of Air Terranea. It is the birthplace of Electrum sport and has been the site of many great moments in Olympic history. The people of Centralis are always willing to talk sports, as this really is a sports-mad city. There are little alleys and suburbs around the broad tree-lined avenues of Centralis, with little neighbourhoods of people from every background imaginable. If your nation has ex-pats in Electrum, they are likely to be found near each other. Centralis' Olympic Stadium (capacity: 100,000) will host the opening match of the World Cup in Electrum.

MD1: Drawkland vs Electrum
MD2: Cassadaigua vs Turori
MD3: Flavovespia vs Valanora
R16: Graintfjall vs Chromatika
SF:

Fairleigh-Warburton
Fairleigh-Warburton (often mispelled as Farleigh or without the other twin city) is a twin-city conurbation with Warburton being home of FC Fairleigh-Warburton, formerly one of the most dominant domestic team in Electrum. Fairleigh Field can host 25,000 spectators after undergoing an upgrade in the previous World Cup. Fairleigh is situated in Electrum's highlands, to the south of Centralis, very close to the border with New Gelderland. The city is naturally sounded by many hills, rocky features and vineyards. The city is surrounded by five hills, hence its informal nickname, the City of the Five Hills. Fans here are used to winning and so will generally support the favoured team.

MD1: Valanora vs Squornshelan Remnant States
MD2: Drawkland vs Tikariot
MD3: Huayramarca vs Mytanija

Hamilton
Hamilton is the other northern city (along with Auras) hosting the World Cup, being situated on the edge of the Great Sandy Desert. Along with Auras, Hamilton is in its dry season and is also known for its sweltering hot weather. Because it too is a hub for mining and mineral processing, it is a town of lavishness and luxury (OOC: Think Las Vegas). The infamous Honey Boulevard (home of the casinos and hotels) is where people can get into a hot, sticky mess if they're not careful. Temperatures in the day will be between 30-35 degrees, however much like Auras, players will be playing at night to provide some respite. The Hamilton Multi-Purpose Venue (capacity 70,000) is known for its modern facilities, thanks to the oil money, and as soon as players get off the pitch, they can expect to be greeted with air-conditioning goodness (of course, having air-conditioning on the pitch would be a ridiculous idea).

MD1: Mytanija vs Graintfjall
MD2: Chromatika vs Eura
MD3: Electrum vs Tikariot
R16: Turori vs Milchama

Kale
Kale is the capital city of Kale Island, a semi-autonomous territory which is situated to the east of the mainland. Known for an unhealthy obsessions for Margaret, she is treated as a mythical goddess by some Kale Islanders. The Kale Memorial Park has been moved (it was previously built on an ancient burial ground) so that it is right in the city centre. Spectators here are rewarded with an intimate experience, being very up-close and personal to the pitch which only accommodates a measly 12,000 spectators.

MD3: Banija vs Drawkland

Port Grenville
Port Grenville is a windswept, seaside city to the southwest of Centralis on the Helios Peninsula, opposite Fairleigh on the Bittern Bay. Known for its blustery conditions, it is rainier and windier here than anywhere else in the country. The city was historically a fishing town, with a good proportion of the citizens still working in that industry (hence the name Sailor's Stadium). This tradition has led to lots of 'drinking holes' (taverns) here, known for sailors who swear all the time. Grenvillians say things how it is, but are generally neutral, yet passionate supporters in football matches.

MD1: Milchama vs Huayramarca
MD2: Flavovespia vs Squornshelan Remnant States
MD3: Chromatika vs Cassadaigua
R16: Banija vs Squidroidia

Prescott
Prescottians are known more for their social partying and drinking. Prescott is situated to the immediate west of Electrum and is fairly cool, given it's high altitude (it is in fact Electrum's highest city by elevation). Temperatures can go below freezing point at times, so make sure you stay rugged up! Prescott is also close to some ski towns and some vineyards near Electrum's Great Lake. Northcote Oval was upgraded a few years ago, as it was the host of many Winter Olympics and the most recent Summer Olympics. There is a capacity of 75,000 spectators.

MD1: Cassadaigua vs Eura
MD2: Banija vs Electrum
MD3: Squornshelan Remnant States vs Squidroidia
QF:

Somer
Somer, a major city facing the Endemien Sea, is Electrum's fastest growing city. Somer is known for its eternally sunny days and its crystalline beaches. it also hosts many theme parks of both the dry and wet variety. It is Electrum's family city and swells in population every summer (as is the case right now). Somers are also known to frequent the Sandy Coast, a long thirty-kilometre stretch of beaches. Known for the 'surf and pub' combination, Somers tend to surf at the beach, then go in for a drink in the pub. Somersville Stadium has a capacity of 70,000 people.

MD1: Turori vs Chromatika
MD2: Valanora vs Squidroidia
MD3: Graintjfall vs Milchama
QF:

by **Audioslavia** » Wed Sep 21, 2022 7:05 am

'The Queue' Hits Headlines as Jaffacake Lies in a State

Seven kilometres long, snaking from Glassbridge to Commercial Plaza through St. Margaret's Square and Hillbarrow, occasionally forked into rival factions with each righteously claiming others to be false, strafed by hot dog wagons and unfathomably large men with brand-name perfumes of totally legitimate origin, pockmarked with minor celebrities and ClickClockers throwing V-signs at their own mobile phones, The social media footprint of The Queue is almost as large as that of the man they've come to see.

Jan Jeremiah 'Power' Jävinnen, commonly referred to as Jeremy Jaffacake, has been lying in state for just over a day now. Once a presenter of Channel One's The Large Game, author of the books Jaffacakes Do It For The Jelly Filling, 10 Reasons Why People Who Aren't Me Smell and 10 More Reasons Why People Who Aren't Me Smell (Scratch And Sniff Edition), co-creator of The Idiot Project, Bullsfeed and The Idiot Podcast, the body of the nation's least favourite son has attracted a memeably large line of people who would like to fondly imagine that the old hack has snuffed it.

Indeed, rumours of Jeremy Jaffacake's death initially circled via twii.tur, where excited rubberneckers eagerly uploaded smudged videos of an apparently ex-Jaffacake lying at the foot of a stone staircase. Rather than check to see whether Jaffacake was actually dead, a number of short videos appeared on YouShoot, each with titles along the lines of 'JEREMY DEAD?' and 'JAFFACAKE DIES?!?!?!' and 'YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE WHICH AUDIOSLAVIAN CELEBRITY JOURNALIST HAS DIED!?>!>!>?!?!', each with a rolling thirty seconds of footage of the collapsed hack interspersed with increasingly dramatic face-camera reaction shots, either side of a brazen solicitation for likes, comments, subscriptions, updoots, money, six-figure NFT purchases and the very soul of your firstborn.

The matter of exactly what state Jeremy Jaffacake is lying in has been a matter of fierce debate among people who only heard about the story in passing and have decided to impose their own psychotic worldview on it.

'He's clearly been beheaded by a swarthy foreigner' says one commenter. You look up and marvel at exactly how big and red his head has gotten from all the beer he'd put it in over the last thirty years. 'He's still got his head', you reply, showing one of an estimated fourteen million available photographs to the guy, who peers at it unsteadily. 'No he hasn't', he replies.
'He's overheated through Global Warming' says your diminutive co-worker, blowing on some green tea that's in a fucking jar for some reason. 'Global warming works like that' she says, defensively and apropos of nothing. Another colleague asks if you've heard that the stone steps are secretly a fourth tribe of Kishrael, but you've had enough.

This reporter went to the source. Or, rather, just next to the source, and found Jaffacake's long time friend Rubio Sanchez, who says:
"Jesus it's taken, what, two days for anyone to contact me? I figured at least one journalist would think to find what the actual news was rather than affix a speculative title to a blurry image with a red circle on it. But no. Two whole days, individual bespoke theories of why Jaffacake is apparently dead. He's not dead. He's been on Hot Ones.

For users unfamiliar with the long-running YouShoot series, don't worry: Each episode is only ten minutes long and once you've seen one, you've seen all of them. Go watch one. Back? Which one did you see? The one with the fat DJ who self-aggrandises over other people's songs? Yes, that is the best one. Anyway, so now you know what Hot Ones is: A short show whereby a presenter hits a celebrity with a series of increasingly hot takes until the celebrity keels over in sheer exasperation. Fat Self-Aggrandizing DJ famously wimped out after the host said "Stopping doing something because it's difficult is called 'Giving Up'". So what take was deemed so hot that Jeremy Jaffacake, the self-proclaimed king of hot takes, collapsed into a heap at the bottom of a staircase for at least 48 hours, drawing the curiousity of an estimated 1.6 million Audioslavians, many of whom don't give a shit but are just there through a heavy dose of FOMO.

"I don't know" says Rubio Sanches, "but I intend to find out"

by **Brenecia** » Wed Sep 21, 2022 7:49 am

491 years ago
An invasion force from the Long Marches - modern-day Nephara - makes landfall, establishing the port of Westpike. An elite, professional force of soldiers effortlessly overpowers the primitive feudal forces that the Brenecian crown is able to muster. The marchers drive the royalists out of their southern capital of Rozelle, and rout their armies at the decisive Battle of Lastcreek. In the immediate aftermath, the marcher general, Seeker, decrees that while there must be clemency for those who surrender, all of royal blood are to be put to the sword. Only one legitimate royal - a distant nephew to King Ruiarc III - manages to flee the country.

89 years ago
A history show discussing the fate of the Brenecian royalty manages to trace and find Bruce Passant, a farmer in Apox, and the rightful king of Brenecia. Nobody besides Brenecia's independence movement pays attention.

86 years ago
Brenecian nationalists form a 'Royal Parade' in Rozelle, against the strict anti-royalist law of the Grand Union. A firm response leads to a riot, and then to the 'Six Day Revolution' that floods across the country. It becomes apparent to the Grand Union that they will either have to leave the country, or put it down violently. They opt to withdraw, and allow Brenecia to assert its independence.

Bruce Passant is crowned King Bruce I of the House of Vortigern.

85 years ago
Margrave Augustine Kellermann and Prime Minister Janice Halford meet and establish the Treaty of Westpike. The Grand Union is reliant on Brenecian farms, Brenecia on the Grand Union's mines and cities. As a result, an uneasy economic union binds the two nations for most of the next century. Relations are frosty, but not hostile.

26 years ago
King Clint I dies. Queen Mairin IV is crowned, with serious intent to restore the monarchy to its former glory.

23 years ago
Improbably, a workmanlike Brenecia side win the World Cup.

21 years ago
Brenecia faces recession, leading to mass civil unrest. Prime Minister Merric Laidlaw meets Margravine Aurelia Fern to discuss further trade deals to alleviate the crisis, but Fern concludes that Rozelle has nothing to offer, and the talks quickly break down.

Later that year, the far-left Coaldust Uprising takes credit for the theft of the World Cup and vandalism of the palace, though it is quickly recovered.

20 years ago
In a Conservative leadership spill, Clarisse Ward takes control of the party and becomes the new Prime Minister. She immediately begins a brutal crackdown on all dissident factions, particularly on the left, and empowers the police to take extraordinary actions. The Directorate of Federal Intelligence is established as a secret police.

Ward also ends the last remnants of the Treaty of Westpike, buying out Nephara's token military presence within the nation and formally cutting all ties with the country. She strengthens Brenecia's deprecated military into a force she hopes is capable of standing in its own right.

17 years ago
With Ward a polarising figure, and the nominal party of opposition in Brenecia too weak to contest, the League for Democratic Reform is formed with Catherine Bardsley, a two-time Brenecia national team manager who spent years in captivity in Sameba, as its head. The LDR is covertly backed and funded by the Nepharan intelligence agency, NSIA.

The LDR look likely to secure victory, until an assassination attempt on Bardsley - carried out by the Directorate without Ward's knowledge - pivots the national conversation back towards law and order. Ward's rebranded Conservative Peoples' Party secure re-election.

15 years ago
Ward's expensive vanity projects - most notably, refurbishing the military - have lead to a serious budget deficit. Nevertheless, a key Ward loyalist - Marshal Dorian Blackwood, pioneer of the reforms - announces that Brenecia is ready for a key regional role, amidst insecurity in nearby Mareibat. They are told to back off by essentially all major powers, and forced to watch as Eura deals with the crisis decisively.

In response to Brenecia's weak democracy, Margravine Althea Carrick begins a trade war. No longer able to count on agricultural exports to one of its largest and most reliable markets, the agrarian Brenecian economy is shattered.

14 years ago
The perilous state of the economy catches up to the CPP. The LDR win a decisive electoral mandate, and Bardsley becomes Prime Minister. While Ward concedes the election, several of her inner circle refuse to let go of power, but their attempts are crushed. Justin Paterson, Minister for Defence and ringleader for the plot to retain power, is hanged for treason. In the aftermath, Directorate leader Barrett Kerr is assassinated by NSIA agents.

Bardsley reverses many of Ward's reforms, but keeps the Directorate and the new Federal Army in a downsized state. Relations with most nearby countries begin to normalise. Margravine Carrick ends Nephara's economic sanctions and visits the nation in a symbolic show of support, marred by a failed assassination attempt.

13 years ago
In an effort to bring economic stimulus and regional security to the country, Bardsley greenlights the 'Fiana Cove' project, a Euran naval base off the west coast, near Falkner.

12 years ago
Margravine Ulrica Lindt visits Brenecia once again. This time, there is no assassination attempt. However, the continued refusal of any Nepharan official to visit the Queen continues to rankle among some elements.

11 years ago
Bardsley's LDR easily defeat Clovette Packard's CPP in the election. In the aftermath, Bardsley pushes forward an electoral reform; there will now be an election every four years, not three, to ensure a more solid platform for governance. Term limits remain unchanged, at three.

10 years ago
Dogged by stress and health issues, the 73-year old Bardsley steps down as Prime Minister. Brigid Locke takes her place. She is considered a brilliant Treasurer who successfully salvaged the economy, but is not a natural campaigner, lacking charisma.

7 years ago
The LDR defeat the CPP in the election, but it is clear that the CPP are beginning to find their feet again, their association with Ward no longer so toxic.

3 years ago
Under Randall Kearney and his unabashedly populist, positive line to restore Brenecia and 'bring back the pick', the CPP destroy an uninspired LDR at the election. Kearney acts quickly to enact his reforms, printing as much money and going into as much debt as is required, undoing the careful work of the last decade. His most significant economic reform is to encourage further privatisation of Brenecia's mines.

2 years ago
A McClintock mine collapses, killing dozens of workers. Mass strikes and protests start up across a country already rapidly spinning into recession. Brenecia is all but locked down for months.

The young, ambitious Princess Etain, foreign-educated and with aspirations of restoring the monarchy, is approached by Marshal Blackwood, who promises the military will support any action she takes to restore order.

Prime Minister Kearney attempts to restore order, appearing personally to speak to one of the protests. A man in the crowd hurls a brick at his head, hospitalising him. In the chaos, riots tear apart the capital, as well as the more progressive western cities of Falkner and Westpike.

At Etain's urging, Queen Mairin declares a state of emergency, and the enforcement of martial law. The Territorial Army and new-model Federal Army enforce order on the streets more harshly than even Ward could have dreamed of.

1 year ago
After seven months, the period of martial law fizzles out. The riots have ceased, but the economy has been ravaged, and so too have the spirits of the people. All that unites them, across the political spectrum, is hatred of the current establishment.

A leadership spill quietly removes Prime Minister Randall Kearney, who retires from politics on the spot. The new Prime Minister is Esther Smetona, from the more moderate wing of the party. At this, the populist White Cross - whose support kept the government in majority - announces an end to the supply deal. There is no longer a guarantee for the government to be able to pass legislation, but Smetona insists it can function. Privately, Smetona aims to form a Grand Coalition with the LDR that restores a centre-right consensus to the Brenecian parliament. No institution, she insists, can be allowed to crumble at a time of crisis; the status quo will weather the storm. And yet, she is two years from being able to test her theory at the election.

The No Compromise party under Nadia Hawthorn have amassed significant power in the cities, the firmest voice publically in favour of an alternative. Their manifesto backs a radical departure from capitalism, towards a more planned economy, and the abolishment of the monarchy and many of the institutions which have maimed the nation. She hopes, like Bardsley before her, that there is an electoral path to victory, but she will not make the same mistakes as before.

Brenecia's first-ever Marshal, Dorian Blackwood, has only been emboldened by his period of martial law. The only misstep, he feels, was allowing it to end. For a brief time, the country functioned, and the trains even ran on time. Abhorring the weakness that has characterised the current government, it is certain that, as long as all his pieces remain in place, he will be within striking range of seizing his country by the throat. For its own good, of course.

Throughout all this, her role in the crisis unknown, Princess Etain has been searching for support abroad, claiming that she is the only one who can bring unity to a nation wracked by her mad mother, the power-hungry military and Directorate, the avaricious oligarchs and the incompetent government. Only she, the Head of State in waiting, can bring stability back to Brenecia. But who will support her claim?

The centre cannot hold. But when the dust at last settles, will it be Esther Smetona, Nadia Hawthorn, Dorian Blackwood or Princess Etain that stands atop the ashes?

by **Drawkland** » Wed Sep 21, 2022 10:57 am

E T E R N I T Y . . .

A lone dragon soared over the endless green of the Ellzidanian wilderness. Her coloration was one of beauty, not designed for survival in a forested environment. The scales on her back were a deep red which held streaks of deep purple at the right angle. Her stomach was a deep gold, giving her the appearance of fire from afar. The more historically knowledgeable of draconologists could talk for ages about this one. She's a relic from a time gone by; her scale pattern and color is found nowhere else among the modern generations of dragons. She's almost a living fossil, though no scientist has ever gotten close enough to study her.

The dragon tilted her head downward to regard the forests below. She surveyed the land with eyes to rival an eagle's, picking out creatures and even people moving under the canopy. She wasn't looking for a meal, however. Her gaze swept across the surface for less than a minute before it returned to where it had stayed for hours before. She stared out at the horizon, sunset beginning to streak red across Sonnel's sky.

Among the burning colors of the setting sun, the dragon seemingly melted into the sky. It was here that she seemed camouflaged, where you could say she was meant to be. Unlike those who lived in the present, gliding among blue skies over green trees, this dragon lived in a perpetual chase of the sun. She would set with the sun each day, and arrive just as naturally with the sun the next morning.

She was an entity not unlike the sun itself, and revered as such. In good times and bad, feasts and famines, this dragon graced the southeastern skies of Drawkland all the same. While many were comforted by her presence in the evening skies, few considered the fact that the dragon flew alone. Not once had a dragon-watcher, amateur or professional, seen her fly in tandem. It's lonely, being a force of nature.

The phone buzzed to life on the wooden nightstand. Ellzidan was lounging across the room, and felt a sharp wooden poke in her shoulder blade.

Could you kindly grab that? The smokey voice floated through her head.

"It's just a phone call, there's no reason for urgency." The elf rolled her eyes, as she had planned to let it go into voicemail. She could admit the advent of the telephone had made things a little easier, much easier than having people plant magic saplings everywhere, but she still didn't like the things. Not to mention, talking on the phone was vastly inferior to merely portal-hopping to the person on the other line and having a real conversation.

You know I don't like that weird buzzing feeling. Makes me feel like I have bees. The voice briefly paused, then hastily continued. And don't give me that claptrap about bees being beneficial. I was there when the bee was being invented, but that doesn't make them any less of a discomfort for me.

"You may be the only tree in history that's confirmed ticklish." Ellzidan shot back with a smirk, finally getting off her seat and striding across the room to pick up the phone. She grimaced when she saw who was calling, though she had already correctly assumed the identity. "Hello?"

"Ah, excellent, you picked up!" The voice of Iarocav rang out through the phone speaker.

"I'm sure you're over the moons." Ellzidan slumped back, sitting on the edge of her bed.

"I truly am blessed to be graced by your virtual presence." Iarocav cleared his throat, and the fake cheeriness evaporated from his voice. "Honestly, though, I'm glad you picked up. I need your help with something."

"What is it?" Ellzidan sat up straighter. Maybe this wouldn't be such a bad call after all.

"I have two issues, actually, but one of them isn't important right now. The other thing is what you can help me with right now."

"That so?" She suppressed the instinct to groan. This was one of Iarocav's most common bargaining tactics with her: promise something interesting to do, with the caveat being she would have to help him do something much more mundane and annoying. She had to admit that he had a knack for finding evil or chaos to root out in some far-off realm, a very welcome distraction from the doldrums of day-to-day immortal life. Were the press conferences and assistance in weird projects really worth it, though? It would have to depend on what the initial ordeal was.

"It is so. There happens to be an event coming up in a few months, and I have yet to find a venue for it. I know it's rude for me to volunteer your home, but I think it would serve quite well." Iarocav was well aware that Ellzidan knew of his system, and he didn't mind it. In his eyes, this was less of a bargain, but a trade. Sure, he could solve quite a bit of problems throughout the great realms by himself, or with Meliauden, or with anybody else. Really, he could just leave those conflicts for somebody else, and it would be no skin off his back. When he needed Ellzidan's help or presence, he knew that she would usually lend a hand as she saw fit. That felt unfair, though, so he would search for opportunities to pay the elf back for her assistance.

"Which event is it? International summit, big convention, sports tournament?" Ellzidan stood up from her bed and started to pace in muted excitement. She felt like she'd just hit the jackpot. Hosting events at Elstrund was a breeze, and she didn't even have to be there 95% of the time. The tree took care of most everything, and she could do her own thing without much interruption.

"In a manner of speaking." Iarocav gritted his teeth, because he knew this next part was the kicker. "The Accords are set to meet this year. It's been far too long since the meeting has been held in your neck of the woods."

"I see." Ellzidan froze in step. That was a wrinkle she had not been expecting, and now the excitement turned into something the elf assumed was dread.

"Before you say no, because I know that's the next word coming from your mouth, please reconsider." Iarocav hastily began a similar pace around his study. "You haven't attended an Immortal Accords event in literal centuries. It's high time you should, plus your friends from the Corps will be receiving their first rites. Elstrund is a beautiful tree and a great venue to host the gala and everything. Every time you hosted in the past we got nothing but compliments. Also, if I have to answer one more question about 'how you're doing' or 'if you're still around' and if the rumor is true that your hair is red again, I may end up strangling somebody to death multiple times."

"If they care so much about me, or like Elstrund so much, then they can visit me on their own time." Ellzidan nervously tapped her foot. She could say no at any time, but doing so before she'd objectively won the debate would be admitting defeat. She really did not want to do this.

"Come on, you know these people." Though she couldn't see, he was beginning to gesticulate wildly with his free hand. Even with all the hands-free and high-level technology, he still preferred to hold the phone up to his face like in the old days. "I can barely get them to come from their secluded towers once a half-century, and some still think motor vehicles are a new-fangled fad. If they had the capacity to travel to Elstrund on a whim they would've done it already."

"Sounds like their problem, then. Maybe your problem too, but not mine."

"Ell, you're going to have friends there, people that wouldn't be there without your help. You know they'd be disappointed if they didn't see you." Iarocav knew the hosting part was trivial. The game was in convincing Ellzidan to be there at all. He knew why she'd refused to come for the last several hundred years, the timing was no coincidence. Hopefully the new presence of some people would be enough to counter the guaranteed presence of some select others.

"Hmph." She couldn't deny that Nicole Warren and the others were now some of the closest immortal friends she had. Of course, she'd seen them dozens of times since they returned from the quest with eternal life, but the Accords were different. It was something almost as special as achieving immortality itself, it was a celebration of the good sides of being among the undying. She knew that, Iarocav knew that, and they both knew the other knew it. This was a hole that would be hard to scrape out of.

"I know you're in a tough spot with some of the people who I'm sure will attend." He'd given Ellzidan a few silent moments to organize a rebuttal, and when none was forthcoming, he knew he had to drive home the final piece. "I think it's time to come to terms with your feelings. You can't hold a grudge forever. Well, I suppose you literally can, but it's not healthy. I'm not asking you to make everything into what it once was, I'm just asking you to take a step in a better direction."

"It's not like any of us are running out of time. I can hold on to anything for as long as I want." She was running out of options.

"Sure you can, but is that actually what you want?" Iarocav paused for effect, and continued. "At the very least, this presents you the opportunity to take the medicine with a spoonful of sugar. I'm arguably doing you a favor."

Ellzidan paced around her room for a long, silent moment. She racked her brain for any escape route, any possible way to slide out of this situation, but there was nothing left. He was right, at least for now. Unfortunately, pulling out of this arrangement would be essentially impossible, so the decision made here would be final.

Iarocav couldn't help but grin when he heard nothing on the other end. He knew what that meant.

"Fine. We will have to iron out the details later, I happen to be very busy right now." She huffed hotly into the phone, even though she knew that wouldn't be coming out the other end of the line.

"Thank you, I truly mean it." Iarocav composed himself and sat in his desk chair with satisfaction. "Expect my call for details next week. Now, I wouldn't want to keep you from your work, so bye bye!"

"Yup." Ellzidan couldn't think of a suitable response. He certainly was not welcome, it was not her pleasure, and it was the opposite of no problem. "Talk to you later, bye."

She clicked the button to hang up with distaste, and tossed the phone in the general direction of the nightstand.

"I hope you're happy!" She sarcastically spat at the tree. "I could've ignored that call, pretended I was away in some other realm for three weeks, and he'd be none the wiser."

Happy? I'm elated! The voice was jovial, and accompanied by the shaking of tree leaves outside. The elf knew this as laughter. It's been so very many years since the Accords have been held here. I love that crowd! Personal growth for you, too. What's not to love?

"Me, apparently," Ellzidan answered, heading towards the door. "I'm going for a run."

Oh, we could do the fancy invitations like last time! Remember the magic growing tree on the back of the card? That was such an excellent idea, we should do it again. Was that you or me who came up with that originally? Probably me. Now would we hold it here or a satellite tree? Decisions, decisions ...

As Ellzidan slid down the tree towards the ground, she started tuning out his voice. She wasn't concerned about cardstock or party favors, she was worried about the guestlist. Though the membership of the Accords was near-constant, the crowd that showed up to the meetings varied every time. Without fail, though, there was one group of party animals that were sure to never miss the celebration. Therein lied the big, big problem.

Nicole Warren overlooked the streets of downtown Kayo. To her, it was home. Although she'd been born and raised in one of the many outlying suburbs of Kayo and spent the majority of her formative years and young adult life in the Isles of Avon, the fondest memories of her youth had been seeing the sights in the ancient city. There was a reason she'd accepted the contract offer from the Queens long ago when the Terranean League went defunct. Now, those old memories had received a fresh coat of paint, more vivid now than they'd been as a child. Apparently it was a side effect of being immortal, which seemed pretty convenient, though not really useful right now.

Her eyes wandered along the boulevards and air lanes as her mind wondered through itself. She needed to find a new hobby. As a mortal, it sometimes feels daunting to put time and effort into a new interest. What if it's too much of a time or money sink? What if you're no good at it? It feels wasteful to put yourself into something that won't pan out. Immortals, however, have no such issues. You have the time and money to do quite literally anything, not to mention the time to put in many lifetimes of practice. Now you face a different task: deciding what to do first. The world is your oyster, but there's billions of oysters in the sea.

Nicole was woken from her daze by a knock at her door. It was unexpected, as she hadn't ordered anything and wasn't expecting visitors. It was probably a solicitor, although they almost never ventured into her building. She came in from the balcony and walked to the door. Through the peephole, she saw someone she really wasn't expecting. Was she legally required to open the door here? She was going to open it anyway, but it was a funny thought.

"Hello?" Nicole cracked the door open, grinning a little nervously.

"Hello!" It was none other than Iarocav standing at her threshold, smiling warmly. "I hope I'm not disturbing anything?"

"Not at all." Nicole paused a moment, looking back at her living room, and cringed a bit. "Would you like to come inside? I have to warn you in advance that I haven't tidied up."

"I would appreciate that." Iarocav dipped his head, and chuckled a bit. "No need to worry about a mess, you should see the state of my library right now!"

"That's a relief," Nicole replied, but inwardly she was still feeling embarrassed. She had clothes strewn across her living room, the big pile of dishes in the sink was begging to be cleaned, and she realized she hadn't lit a candle in a couple weeks.

"I won't be long," Iarocav promised, "I just didn't want to be subject to prying eyes and ears." He had a good poker face, Nicole thought, because he didn't even wrinkle his nose at the smell.

"Oh?" She was instantly distracted from feeling self-conscious about her mess. She lowered her voice a bit. "Oh, is this about ... the thing?"

"Ah yes, the thing indeed." Iarocav chuckled again. He pulled a small envelope from the folds of his coat, and presented it to Nicole. She carefully extended her hand to take it.

"Do I open this now, or..?" Nicole trailed off, feeling the authentic parchment paper in between her fingers. It was thick, sturdy, almost imposing. On the backside was some old-timey script that she couldn't read. Her dad was a history professor though, he could probably translate it. Maybe that should be the hobby to pick up next. On the front fold was a bona fide wax stamp with a pretty seal on the front. Nicole recognized it as the logo of the Immortals Accord.

"Please do!" Iarocav pointed at the envelope. "On the backside is your name printed in old Drawkish script. This seal is enchanted, only the one whose name appears on the envelope can break it. That's you, of course."

"That's cool," Nicole replied simply. She pressed her thumb against the seal. She pushed upwards, and it made a small cracking sound before sliding forward and flipping open the envelope. Inside was a card, made of cardstock even more sturdy than the envelope itself. She couldn't help but make an audible noise of awe.

"The Accords take the aesthetic seriously," Iarocav mused. He enjoyed this moment, and it's why he always delivered the first one in person.

Nicole gave a cursory chuckle, but she was now inspecting the card. On one side was the Accords logo again printed in a shimmering brown ink, and a simple drawing of a tree sapling alongside it. The other side was an invitation.

"'You are cordially invited to the 46th Immortal Accords Gala, held on this date.'" Nicole read the first line aloud, then muttered along as she read the rest. "Oh, it's being held at Elstrund, how fun!"

"I thought you'd like that." Iarocav nodded in approval. "This is the first time for you and your friends, so I figured it would be best to be at a place you know as somewhat familiar. Usually attendance at this event is optional for members, but you're sort of obligated to make an appearance since you're a newly-minted immortal."

"Sort of?" She echoed, raising her eyebrows quizzically.

"It is not strictly required," he cocked one eyebrow. "However, if you aren't there, I will be very displeased. That's not how you want to start off your eternal journey, is it?"

Nicole couldn't tell if he was joking or being serious, but she shook her head regardless.

"That's what I thought." Iarocav's tone softened, and he took a glance at the door. "That's about all I have to say, actually. I'll leave you to whatever you were doing before."

"Thank you for the invitation!" Nicole replied courteously. She was definitely glad he didn't plan to stick around, especially because she just noticed one of her bras poking out from under the coffee table.

"This is a thank you for joining the Accords. Think of it as a reward for all your hard work." Iarocav turned to leave. Before he reached the door, he turned back to Nicole. "Also, you're the first one I've delivered to, so keep this on the down low among your friends until I give them their invitations!"

"Yes, sir!" Nicole gave a mocking salute, which elicited a laugh from the Drawkionel.

"Stay safe, Nicole. I'll see you at the gala." With that, he swept through the door, closing it behind him. Stay safe? What kind of advice was that?

Jaxon Madison grabbed the mail from the lobby mailbox as he often did. It was a hefty pile, mostly comprised of hand-written fan mail from dedicated fans. As he flipped through the envelopes, he suddenly recognized the thicker envelopes in the middle of the bunch.

"Oh shit, that's this year?" Jaxon said aloud, and nodded when his mental math checked out. It was gala time once again.

"What's up?" Ross Hunter entered the room, having heard Jaxon wake minutes earlier. He looked at the pile and noticed the Accords envelopes at the top. "Oh hey, it's that time again!"

By the end of the hour, the rest of the Elite Eleven had woken up and Jaxon summoned them to the conference room. Each seat at the table featured one envelope, corresponding to where each member ended up sitting. There were excited murmurs and conversations among the guys. If there's something they never missed, it was a great party, and there's no greater party than a bunch of immortals tearing it up twice a century.

The conversations varied. Some began guessing what the venue would be, and a couple others worried that there would be a scheduling conflict. World Cup qualifiers were coming soon, and the gala was normally held right in the middle of that season, though not intentionally. Jaxon waited for everybody to get settled, and then he spoke up.

"Just like every time, let's open them together. Ready? Go!"

The Elite collectively broke the wax seals together, making a satisfying crackling noise in the meeting room. Some snatched the card right out of the envelope, while some ceremoniously slid the invitation from the folds at a slower pace. Together, they admired the sapling design on the back, and flipped to the front to read the information. There were a few gasps, a couple oohs and ahhs. Jaxon was also reading it for the first time, so he got the same relative shock as everyone else.

The gala was to be held at Elstrund.

This was big news. The Elite had once known Ellzidan very well, but that was long in the past. Most hadn't seen her since they'd returned from the maze originally, and she'd never made an appearance at a gala since they started attending them. Now that the event was being held at her very own residence, it was virtually guaranteed that she would be there as well. This was exciting for most of the Elite, but for a specific member it was daunting.

Almost too predictably, Septimus Xander spoke up. "Jax, there's no way we'll be able to make it. This date is right on a weekend in the middle of the qualifying campaign. We're either going to be offplanet or too busy to attend."

"There's no way we're missing it man, come on!" Richard immediately protested. "There's gotta be something we can do. Our perfect attendance can't go to waste now!"

"Dude, we have expectations now." Septimus jabbed a thumb in the general direction of Metropolon, where DISC was headquartered. "We can't be fucking with the World Cup schedule for a little party."

"Yeah, like this guy's got no ulterior motive," somebody muttered from across the table, but Septimus didn't catch who it was. He huffed in response, and that shut up some of the giggles.

"We'll see what our options are. Maybe we could pop in for a quick appearance if we've got a home game." Jaxon tried to calm Septimus's deepening red and maroon feelings. At worst, maybe just Sep could skip it and wallow in his own misery.

"Wait, wait!" Elias piped up suddenly. "What's the date again?" He took another look at the invitation, then looked back over at his phone.

"Oh ... oh! What are the odds?!" Ross looked over at Elias's phone, and burst out laughing when he saw it.

"What is it?" Jaxon asked, inclining his head.

"The weekend of the gala, we have a home game ..." Elias took one more confirming glance at his phone, and grinned ear to ear when he looked back up at the rest of the team. "... at Elstrund. The Root Field. The gala is the day right after the game, we'll already be there!"

The whole table broke into cheers, except for Septimus. The keeper sunk back into his chair, wearing a scowl on his face.

He was something of a legend among the avian-watching community of northern Drawkland. Seldom did this dragon fly, showing off his coat of blueish and greenish scales to those fortunate enough to catch a glimpse. Records of this particular dragon could be traced back centuries, for the peculiar crown of small, curled horns on his head was impossible to mistake for another. In a land where many intelligent dragons have met with regular people or even interact closely with Drawkian society, this one had never spoken with anyone.

Today, he flew for the first time in what felt like ages. He knew the parks where bird and dragon-watchers liked to settle, he knew the highway grid like the back of his scaly hand. He avoided those areas, deciding to glide towards a big stretch of unclaimed mountains away from prying eyes. He didn't like the publicity, he knew the news would spread like wildfire among the social media circles of Drawkian nature enthusiasts. He didn't think that sort of information would make its way to the wrong person or people, but you can never be too sure.

No, this dragon was not worried about poachers or exotic hunters tracking him down and sending a massive bolt through his golden underbelly. He wasn't worried about being tracked down by the Drawkian government and forced to pay dragon taxes or something. All of that had been taken care of many years ago. He was afraid of something much more sinister. He was afraid of her, and though he didn't expect her to ever find him this way, he feared that more than anything else. It would be too painful, too real for him to have to think about what could've been.

Even with that anxiety gnawing within his fiery core, it was worth the risk. Being cooped up all day for months or years was simply impossible to sustain. The freedom of the air, the warmth of the thermals, the brisk of the jet streams, it was a sensation nothing could replicate. Flying really is all it's cracked up to be ... but it would be a little nicer with a friend, wouldn't it?

by **Krytenia** » Thu Sep 22, 2022 2:29 pm

OOC note: This RP references this post in F&NI.

POLITICS: Baker extends "hand of friendship" to Foringanan nations

Following the shock news of four Foringanan nations deciding to cut ties with Atlantian Oceania, the Government has moved quickly to reach out to their opposite numbers not only in Pacitalia, but also in Scandonia, Bärenberg, and Medovicia.

Though it is understood by KBS News that no formal arrangements have been made between Emberton and the four breakaway governments, Prime Minister Penelope Baker is "confident" that diplomatic relations between the sides can be established quickly.

In a statement made earlier today, Baker said that "the long-standing peaceability of all five of our nations should provide a solid foundation for talks", and that "political and trading relations with Emberton should be a priority". She also mentioned the importance of "extending the hand of friendship to fellow travellers away from Atlantian Oceania", mentioning that there will be "testing times ahead not only for these four nations, but also those they leave behind".

What has surprised observers, however, is that this decision has been made unilaterally by Krytenia, rather than the Anaian region as a whole. Government Press Officer, Timothy Gazzinga, has attempted to reassure the regional community by stating that "Ms Baker has the interests of Anaia at heart, but feels that a light touch, of individual nations coming to Foringana rather than anything that may be seen as Anaian expansionism is the correct way to go."

Reports that Kelly Torrington, Minister for Industry, Business, and Trade, is heading to Timiocato appear to be untrue; however, with the Witting currently in recess, it is entirely possible that Miss Torrington or Ms Baker would be able and willing to travel on short notice.

KBS News have contacted the governments of Pacitalia, Scandonia, Bärenberg, and Medovicia for further comment.

by **Natanians and Nosts** » Thu Sep 22, 2022 7:45 pm

Temporary new boss

Márcus Ion Mutu will return to Natanians and Nosts' national team for the next CE.Meanwhile,the coach for this edition of the World Cup Qualifiers is Ion Ioan Ionescu.
the relatively internationally unexperienced coach is tasked with leading the squad to the World Cup this cycle.Bearing a basic Natanians and Nost name,the 5-4-1 appreciator will call up the team in the coming days,with spetial attention to some younger players,and his wish to make the team perform under his favoured system.
His playing style sometimes uses a libero,sometimes a combination of three centre backs.His use of side midfielders is uncommon for Natanians and Nosts.His front is usually led by a centre-forward.The teams usually mark zone,with a tide bit of man-to-man,always considering a good old offside trap,exerting high pressure whenever possible;slightly compacted,following his saying of "It doesn't matter if you are compacted,if the other team has ball possession and an outrun you.";favours passes outside the area,and reserts to long crosses,usually cross-field-side,as a valid and looked-for means of starting play.
Favours good midfielders who can come back from attacks to cover the deffence.His lack of attacking midfielders is compensated by a tendency to make the players to incise diagonal crosses inside the area.Both of the deffensive midfielders must be able to attack,no such thig as "marking-oriented DMF" and "goes-out-to-attack DMF" pair.The centre-forward must be good at scoring.If a striker,be somewhat competent at deffending,and must go back in situations of dangerous loss of ball possession.
Ion Ioan Ioonescu's contract will last until the end of this WCQ,with a possibility of being renovated in case the team advances to the World Cup or makes it to the CoH.Márcus Ion Mutu will stay with the team for the next CE.It is not known who will lead the team next year.

by **Ko-oren** » Fri Sep 23, 2022 2:09 am

NS World Cup Fantasy Qualification

Sign up and play now!

It's back! Picks open until immediately after MD1 is scorinated. As always, feel free to make multiple picks (For example: different IC personalities for those RP hot takes). Go to the "Start Here!" tab if this is your first time playing.

World Cup 81/82/83/84

Is this GE the trigger of a generational shift in Baker Park?
by Charles Bradley-Young
Senior Political Analyst for The Times

Commentary from Belle Haven--

The close of the 31st Parliament of the Commonwealth of Baker Park marks the beginning of a protracted series of events that will coincide with the 130th Anniversary of our nations' establishment on November 11; it also begins to move the country down a path that could change the fundamental structure of the Commonwealth in a way that has only been experienced one other time in the past.

It's not a surprise to those who paid attention in Commonwealth History during 9th Grade that there was an enormous amount of upheaval between 1919 & 1946 in the government of this country; there were nine elections called for Parliament in that 27 year span--an average of one every three years. The last of those paved the way to the current political alignment most citizens under age 70 have known their entire lives.

The Conservative Party of Baker Park, under the leadership of Josiah Peter Moore since 1910, had won the election of 1945 holding a single seat majority over the combined opposition of the Liberal Party, the National Union Party and the centrist Federalist Party; during the fourth sitting of the first session commencing on April 11, 1946, the Conservatives disintegrated before the nation's eyes through a combination of procedural blunders and humiliating defeats on legislative votes, forcing Moore to ask Prince William I to prorogue Parliament on April 23.

The following General Election on June 5, 1946 brought the Federalists into power in partnership with the Liberals; the Conservatives lost 24 seats in a result so shocking that Moore never recovered from the defeat, all but abdicating his position as Leader of the Opposition to his Deputy, Frederick Hanford.

Nearly 4 1/2 years later, the Federalists swept the first election for a 175 district House of Assembly, winning 73 seats which allowed for an alliance with the National Unionists to form a majority government. The party have continued this electoral advantage to this day with an outright majority that has not required a powering sharing agreement with another bloc; the expansion of membership in the lower house required a reconfiguring of constituency numbers and boundaries, which will leave the question as to whether the Federalists will continue to have an outright majority or require help in a coalition to continue in power.

to be continued...

by **Ko-oren** » Fri Sep 23, 2022 6:13 am

Let's take a very early look at the World Cup Qualifiers.

The Groups
The group with the highest combined KPB is group 1 - with the number one rated Turori and good-but-not-great team for their pots, Savigliane, Zeta Reka, Valentine Z, and Gyatso-Kai. Don't count out the Anaians of Aleirave, or a Ceni squad looking to re-stablish themselves on the global stage, and that's before realising that there's an obscure team by the name of freaking Bears Armed who add 0 KPB to the group but a bad situation - for the other 10 teams - just got worse.

In second place it's group 13, with Valanora, Quebec, WCOH hosts Mercedini, and decades-long Belt holders Al Qurija. Third place is for the second-ranked Holy Empire of group 10 with Nyowani Kitara, Saint Eleanor, the Cordian Islands, and Baptism of Fire 42 heroes Quakmybush (reminder: there are four BoF 42 teams left: Quakmybush, Astograth, Kandorith, and the incredible Dragonflies of Ko-oren). In last place is the group of... the incredible Dragonflies of Ko-oren, who rank towards the bottom of Pot 1 but the teams from the other high pots also rarely from the top half of that pot: Chromatika (setting up a wonderful LPB Anaia Conference game), Sendhang, Juvencus, ODI Cricket co-hosts Brookstation, Cardenao, Xanneria, returning Lisander... it's not that any team here is bad, the KPB formula just hasn't picked up on our underrated qualities yet.

At the same time, we can look at the groups with most parity, by comparing each team in that group with the group's average KPB. Basically, if you get bad teams from Pots 1 and 2 but good teams from Pots 6-11 there will be more parity. The most equal group is 4, with World Cup champions Banija, Eura, and Equestria, and notorious World Cup not-winners Krytenia, but there's also Geektopia, Indusse, Gortolekua, and more. If you're looking for a group with a little added chance of an upset, this one might be it. The second most parity can be found in our group, followed by the one with Zwangzug, Jeruselem, Flavovespia, but especially sneaky upsetters in the Ochre Islands, Efnakia, Republica Guanacasteca.

The least parity is the group of... Turori, whose incredible KPB kind of kill of any math we throw at it. The second-least upset is found in the Valanora group. So the same groups show up in both lists (KPB and Standard Deviation), so you can forget about all the other groups that sort of fall in the middle.

The Baptism of Fire graduates
Baptism of Fire-hype returned to the archipelago for the first time since we were playing in one, with half of the thing played over here. At the end of it, we saw Cap Nord beat Tecoia in the third place playoff, before Loyo won the title over Koronavia some 24 hours later in Mertagne. We always talk about Baptism of Fire teams in the Fantasy preview - they're the key to low-cost, high-ceiling picks - but we've finally had a close up look to compare them to teams we know a little better. Which ones should you pick in Fantasy? And which ones are our sneaky pick for a World Cup (or playoff) spot?

The top four are always a safe-ish bet, but your grandmother could figure that out. Honestly, if you'd ask us, we'd give Tecoia our benefit of the doubt, in a group that doesn't instill as much dread and fear as Koronavia's, who also made a strong impression on us. Ganes Ame have a similar upside, being in a group where we can see weaknesses in all of the bottom 5-6 teams, without going into what each team improved and added since the last qualifiers. Cap Nord and Talannua are in the same group (group 14), which they share with Ziwana and Ancherion. Either one of the two Boffers could make a run - but it's your job to figure out which of the two will do it, because chances of both of them upsetting Tumbra, Mytanija, TJUN-ia, Cabo Azure, and Qasden are near-zero. Lastly, there's the sheer chaos of West Barack and East Obama that could majorly mess up plans of low-pot teams such as Sevendia, New South Yukon, as well as Atheara and Quakmybush.

A look back in time: which of the BoF 78 teams are we tipping? Aleirave, Gortolekua, and Efnakia all made good on their top three finish, in our opinion, but it's Cardenao who went above and beyond. Maybe, just maybe, the Baptism of Fire is a good indication of where teams stand but it's not the full story. Having finished 16th in a field of 64 and not making the knockouts in ours: yes, that must be it.

The Darlings
Kandorith lead group 2 in KPB, having to play one of our biggest 2/3 gridiron rivals, Ranoria, as well as our brothers in Round of 16 disappointment (at least, until World Cup 87), Sargossa. Anaians Pyazhnaya, a surprise South Covello, and a returning Boring Paradise cap off this group to make us think 'whoa, that's a fun group'. In fact, we'll award our 'Seal of Fun Group' to Group 2.

Darmen find themselves in Group 7 with Farfadillis, Baker Park - now back in pot 2 - as well as some teams we know from cricket, like StrayaRoos, Damukuni, and Sajnur.

We find few Anaians in the same group, but Group 15 has Huayramarca with Ganes Ame and the Euran Oceania Territories. Other potential instances of fratricide (Anaia means brother) are found in Group 1, Savigliane versus Aleirave, or Group 3, Mertagne vs Koronavia, Group 4, Krytenia vs Gortolekua vs Estorvipa and Estorpiva, and a handful others. The only instance of Anaians in the top 2 pots are Ko-oren and Chromatika. The only other Anaian top 5-meeting is Ochre Islands versus Flavovespia. You may also count Mertagne versus Nephara in Group 2 if you so desire.

The Dragonflies
That brings us to our own group: Group 11. We (1 WC, 1 CoH, 1 AOCAF) have already mentioned a few things here and there. It has Chromatika (1 CoH), our Anaian baseball rivals, and it has our cricket friends from Brookstation, the previous BoF's biggest surprises in Cardenao, one of our rugby union rivals in Lisander, a team we've seen in this BoF, Yakk. The rest are Sendhang (a contender in the CMFA Mandalanusa Cup), Juvencus (1 CoH), Xanneria (1 CE, 1 BoF), Gnejs, and Atetancillo.

If the previous 10 or so qualification cycles are anything to go by, we'll drop points to Yakk, Cardenao, Juvencus, and Sendhang, before inexplicably destroying Chromatika, and then either sneak into the World Cup with a terrible - but good enough - record, or none of that happens and we go 18-1-1.

by **Squidroidia** » Fri Sep 23, 2022 8:13 am

An Inkling's Dilemma

Episode 1 - Rachel Who?

You'd think the 11th best side in national team football would have more offers than just the lonesome reply.

When Rachel Coltfield, a Tinhamptonian who has spent the past 10 World Cups not doing anything of note since leaving the post of her home nation's cohesive unit, was announced as the first national team manager of the Squidroidian National Team Association era, heads were scratched and eyebrows raised from Splatsville to Inkopolis on such an odd hire. Coltfield was someone who perhaps needed to get back into the game sooner rather than later, the 62 year old having at least one trophy to her name - Cup of Harmony 73, which she won with her home nation of Tinhampton before going on the long hiatus laid out after CoH 74. She, according to SNTA president and former national team player Itoh Hoshi, was the only one who applied for the job, and instead of plucking a manager from the Squidroidian Premier League and angering the SFA more than they should, went with the calling card of someone who can best be described as a Ko-orenite in disguise. Coltfield, obviously, denied being a Ko-orenite.

To some pundits, hiring Coltfield was like throwing an animal who spent the past 2 decades in a zoo that didn't care for them all that much back into their natural habitat. It was jumping into the deep end too soon, attempting to backflip on skates after not touching them for a while, you get the gist. She had received offers in the past for management at club sides, but those clubs who wanted someone with CoH winning pedigree weren't all that illustrious - Circunses Athletic? New Hind City? Less than illustrious clubs in less than illustrious nations (Even if Indusse had the IAC's number). Applying for the Squidroidia job was more up her alley - She was a national team manager first and foremost, this was the most comfortable experience to her. But yet, this was the 11th best team in the multivaerse riding high from 3 straight World Cup qualifications. Surely someone would step up and offer a challenge?

Coltfield stepped onto the shores of Sonnel as the Squidroidia manager for IAC 16. Placed in Juvencus, Coltfield brought up roughly the same squad that Squidroidia was known for, a well cohesive unit who worked together and knew each other for years. Of course, with players getting older, like the great Akira Honda, they had to be swapped with younger blood coming up from the club game. Greta Ivanković, Sora Iwai and one Marianne McKay, who almost guided Spartansburg to the Squidroidian title, joined the unit in time for the tournament and cruised through their group on top, having only gave up one draw. To be fair the only notable team in there was Omerica, but still.

And then came the break. That year's IAC had the group winners and top 4 runners-up get a bye to the Round of 16, with the bottom four runners-up and top 4 third place teams playing in what was known as the Round of 20. Squidroidia had time off as a group winner, but that was not what Coltfield wanted. They could train more, yes, but match time was what counted most in the end. Once Squidroidia returned to the pitch and met one of the best sides in the Independents region in Poafmersia, they were shut up with a 2-1 loss and sent packing.

World Cup qualification would be the real test. A team unchanged from IAC 16, Coltfield's return to the trials and tribulations of the qualification campaign isn't going to be met with an easy task. Despite being a pot 1 side due to their ranking, Squidroidia's group was filled with well known names - Starblaydia, Eshialand, Drawkland and opening round foes Garifunya. The hardest group they were dealt in since arguably their first one in World Cup 86, 6 cycles on from stepping into the World Cup for the first time, qualification wasn't going to be all sunshine and roses. Every point had to be won with honor and dignity, every goal had to be scored with passion, and that blue and white shirt had to be worn with bravery. Even the smaller teams, as proven with Squidroidia teams of the past, can knock away points home or away. And as always, a strong, experienced manager was needed to guide the ship.

Squidroidia had all those good things heading into the tournament. They just had one rusty manager.

by **Valentine Z** » Fri Sep 23, 2022 11:26 am

Part 1 – Everything New is Old Again.

Exuberant Superintendent T-2000/2904-3 Surveillant Clarissa Alanis Star Breya « La Amoureux Chéri » Millie Taissa Butterfly Mélody Coraline Jolijn Trini Clementine Hollie Samantha Zeta Harumi was once again with her team, gathering everyone around for a brief discussion on what to expect, who they are playing against, and more importantly, as to have the players be more careful on the field as the other non-sports related injuries can follow. Case in point, the IAC-16 saw Katarzyna Violetta Zofia Aleks Polańska succumbing to the heat injuries as she tired herself out in the field, perhaps either just seemingly unaware that the heat was not affecting her as much, or that her stubbornness was exceeding the capabilities of her body. It shocked everyone when it happened, though it was fortunate that it was unlike a broken bone, concussion, or one of those life threatening injuries. Katarzyna shrugged off the incident, and she is back as ever along with the rest of the Valentians, ready to take on the teams that were presented right in front of them. The lineup has not changed in the slightest, with the same people that the other players and teams were expecting of from the Valentians. The only difference was that the players average 240 cm on the field, and when they get out of the field and went back to non-sports activities, their heights grew to a factor of 2.66. Not an important detail for many, but for them, it’s what make them, on top of the niceness, the compassion, and everything else cheery and nice that a lot of people mistook as being artificial, forced, non-genuine.

It was still relatively early for all the teams to arrive and have the roster information on the fly and ready. However, the group draws and behind-the-scene events amongst the World Cup staff have been settled, and as a result, it was time to do a quick discussion on the teams, along with the potentials. Including Valentine Z itself, there are 11 teams in each group, and thus Clarissa predicted that there will be 20 matches total. More chances, she thought.

They have no idea as to who Natanians and Nosts, Aleirave, and Harmonia are. Clarissa’s inquiries and SQL searches on her own database has only lead to several dead ends, though the latter seemed to have a bit of experience before in the world of World Cup. The ones that they know in particular are StrayaRoos Barrier Islands, Gyatso-Kai, and Zeta Reka and Hugeltaldom, the latter having played against the Valentians before, and the StrayaRoos as those that they could vaguely recall, but are not to be underestimated; it was not so much that they were underestimating the players, but it always helps to know who has been an established name, and who is a newcomer. The former are those that will absolutely wreck the competition, while the latter can also still kick butts when they need to but are wildly unpredictable at best. Bears Armed is one particular team that the Valentians are certain that they are newcomers, but their background, along with encounters here and there have made them realize that they are to keep their guards up against them. There is Savigliane, whom the Valentians thought that they have played against before, but it was purely a common mistake with the close spelling of the nation of origin that these teams are from. The Valentians have played against the Savojarna team before, while Srednjaci are the ones that have invited another separate group of Valentians for a game of international tennis for the pure fun of it. Ceni has a formidable team, and so is Turori, who is so far removed that Valentians very well may be kicking against the Gods.

In terms of viewership, the Valentians were rather indifferent about Association Football at first, effectively only 1/3rd of the 13 billion strong population watching the game. The seasons involving the Sixty unfortunately was the worst performing ones, what with them starting off on the international grounds, as well as having little to no direction, and the leaders having important work and projects of their own. Eventually, Clarissa formed the Valentian Kittens, and that was when the Valentians started taking names from World Cup 90 and subsequently, Cup of Harmony 82. To this day, CoH 82 had the highest rating of 97%, and one of the strongest viewership of all time, along with cementing the Valentians both locally and internationally as one of the football teams that are up and coming undercats, for that matter. They may still try their best with qualifications, but breaking records may yet to come.

by **Juvencus** » Fri Sep 23, 2022 11:51 am

The Second Great War of Unification(1876-1892)

While the war was reaching a point of hot-blooded conflict, with 2 sieges in the horizon(in Santo Domenico by the Independentists and Torona by the Unionists) and no clear signs of a victor ahead, it was looking to be a deadly period. However, something mysterious happened in the crops of the Juven. Juvencus is known as a land of extremely fertile soil, even in desert areas. A soil that is in fact so fertile, that if correctly used can produce crops consistently and much faster without losing its nutrients whatsoever. But June 1880 proved to be a different year and the crops did not manage to grow for the first time ever in recorded history. We are talking about the first and only famine recorded in Juven history.

Juven people witness the lack of crops in fear, image taken ~circa October 1880, by an unknown photographer

Chapter 17: The Cursed '80(June 1880-June 1881)
"As the sky darkened, we all tried to speculate what it was. But with no answers to show for it, we decided it was divine punishment." ~Carla Enrichetta, one of the first educated women in Juvencus.

Both Independentists and Unionists were organising their troops in their plans to start besieging the cities of Santo Domenica and Torona respectively. The attacks were coincidentally planned to start simultaneously around the middle of June 1880 for a fast capture before switching their eyes towards each other. It would be the first time Pomena and Scudelli would engage in direct conflict in the mainland. But the events of the morning of June 2nd, 1880 were described as mysterious, or outright apocalyptic by many writers. It looked like a normal day and everything was going as planned, people were frantically working for the work effort as hard as they could in all fronts, carrying materials to the frontlines or producing them themselves. Back in the more peaceful areas, people would be rebuilding any destroyed buildings and restoring them to their previous glories when suddenly, the sky darkened as one of Sonnel's moons passed in front of the sun. For an hour, the sky remained dark and people were looking in awe. As light returned, an unexplainable rain dropped ferociously all over the nation, with floods happening everyone, even in the desert areas. The rain stopped and yet another eclipse happened, this time with the other moon of Sonnel, it lasted for an hour as well. Then a scorching heat followed that dried out whatever the rain had created. The result was a foul odor that could be smelled for days all across the nation and a much slower growth among crops all over the nation, with many dying within days of that incident. People were already stocked up with supplies for most of the remainder year, so they did not fear at the time however.

Fear increased in the following weeks, as as much as 95% of the crops had died out, while of the remaining crops only a handful was even healthy enough to be consumed and recropped. People would try different tactics to see why the soil was not as fertile as before and both scientists and religious people would put their hands to see if anything would work or not. The war effort would not resume and a temporary armistice was written on August 29th, 1880 in Costavillaggio until a solution was to be found out. No solution had been found.

The first signs of a famine were recorded when people in villages all over the Crescent and Pacgliari started showing signs of malnourishment and experiencing the first deaths from it. This would quickly spread all over the nation. Alongside that, disease started to spread everywhere, particularly a strange kind of flu attributed as the first cases of H1N1 to be recorded ever in the nation. Due to the easy tranistion of the flu, millions would get sick and in combination with the famine, hudreds of thousands would die quickly all over the region.

1881 started on a somwhat of a bad footing too, however, several small regions would start to produce some healthy crops once again, bringing hope. This would not last for long however, as there was no progress noted elsewhere but those very specific areas. On top of that, famine-related deaths would remain on the rise. Medicine would improve extremely fast, however and a vaccination was found extremely fast for the standards of the time, with many different campaigns being put in full swing in all the countries of Juvencus. Millions of people got vaccinated, and H1N1 was relegated to a simple winter flu extremely quickly. The human cost was already big though.

But on June 7th, 1881, the unexpected happened. The very same double eclipse and rainfall occured, but this time the foul smell was replaced in favor of a beautiful smell all over the nation. Crops would start growing even in places they were not planted in originally and at the fastest rate ever recorded in history. Millions of people would eventually become well nourished in the space of a month and despite all the failed efforts at finding a solution, the ending was good for the people. This whole event was attributed as a divine curse and then subsequently a miracle. The war was once again in full swing. To this day, nobody knows the reason of this, but religious people use it as an argument to prove God's existence and even the existence of the nation as a whole, as it would be one of the catalysts for a change in the pace of the war and thus the tides of it.

Deaths by the Cursed '80: 675,000 across the nation

by **West Barack and East Obama** » Fri Sep 23, 2022 10:21 pm

BBC OFFICIAL REPORT: New Stadiums Converted Just In Time For World Cup Qualifications

By Football Correspondent Gary Obamaniker

Jakartington WB, West Barack - After a few weeks of hasty construction, there are now football stadiums in West Barack and East Obama to be used during home matches in World Cup qualifying, for the first time since all of them were demolished following the team sports ban.

Without further ado, we present these amazing arenas:

Fort Obama Supermax, Obamafalls, East Obama

With a seating capacity of 500, Fort Obama Supermax is currently the largest football stadium in the nation. Converted from a parcel of marsh (mixed in with sewage from the nearby Fort Obama Supermax prison), the stadium is surrounded by ten metre high reinforced concrete walls with barbed wire. Snipers at the towers surrounding the prison will also have additional duties to ensure that no one else gets any funny ideas and tries to break the team sports rule. Of course, this great sense of security will be great for travelling fans, and politicians who will be the only Obamen allowed to attend the matches there. The changing rooms are highly secure with locker doors recycled from scrapped cell doors from the prison, so players' valuables are untouchable.

The Pentagram Underworld, Jakartington WB, West Barack

With a seating capacity of just 100, the Pentagram Underworld may seem small but it is a technological marvel. Built underneath the military HQ of West Barack and East Obama, The Pentagram, the Underworld is highly secure as only those with special clearance will be allowed anywhere near the building. The entire stadium is air conditioned, and the artificial pitch is just sublime. Large lamps illuminate the place so that players and attendees can see what's going on, and there's also a selection of fast food stands from inside the Pentagram in case anyone gets peckish. Of course, travelling fans will need to be vetted and examined for a minimum of 48 days before being declared secure enough to enter. They will also be given a special serum to help them forget everything except the match after it takes place, so be sure to account for these in your plans if you want to attend a match!

by **Gnejs** » Sat Sep 24, 2022 1:37 am

Gnejsian folk tales

The rock that was

A man once dabbled in pelts and furs. He took his mark, made his kill, and skinned it raw. To make the most of his prize, the man often travelled to the bigger settlement on the other side of the woods, where the townsfolk paid good money to get their hands on his bounty.

To reach beyond the woods one could go the long route, which took you down by the coast and all way round, or one could travel in a straight line through the woods. The straight line would save you time, perhaps the better part of a day, but the trek through the woods could be perilous; wolfs roamed there.

Few ventured through the woods in those days, but there were stories of those who once did. In a glen in the the deepest parts of the woods, where the pack headed by Gnejgar the Abhorrent ruled the night with terror, stood a grand boulder. Many were the men and women who over the years had been saved from the wolf’s teeth by climbing the rock and weathering the night on its top. Only fools travelled the woods by night it was said, but the rock did not judge you on basis of foolishness. It was there. For this reason the rock was revered by most of the smallfolk. It was considered a Friend, a benign entity of sorts who looked out for the travelers of the night.

One day the man set out with intentions of reaching the far side of the woods by the early afternoon. He did not usually go through the woods. Like most of his peers he preferred the coastal route. But he had killed many a squirrel and fashioned their furs into a jacket most luscious. A fair price it would fetch, of that the man was certain, and it was soon to be his daughter’s birthday. He was anxious to trade, and it was late spring. The days were long, with the warm rays of the sun stroking the treetops and shining their reassuring light on the old path. The old tales of nightly terror seemed distant as he walked with a spring in his step. The woods were alive with birds singing and other soothing sounds of old life.

The man was making good time, and the sun told of no more than midday when he passed through the glen of old tales, where indeed the massive boulder still stood tall. He paused briefly and moved closer to inspect the notorious sentinel of the woods, running his hands down the rugged surface. He took a moment to to give thanks to the rock, on behalf of all those people it had saved over the years.

As he continued, he encountered few problems and reached the far side of the woods by the early afternoon. He secured a more than fair trade for his merchandise within minutes of reaching the trading ground. The sun was still up high, and the man decided to attempt the trek back through the woods. It was risky, no doubt. While he would have the sun for the better part of the trip, he would have to travel in darkness on the last leg of the journey. If worse came to worse, he could always spend the night snuggled in the security of the top of the boulder, much like his ancestors, and make a quick start in the morning and reach home before breakfast.

He walked briskly, sometimes even running, while often looking up to gauge the position of the sun. The descent into darkness came about quicker than he had expected, and soon enough the sky had dusked. The sounds of the forest died away, and the man could hear nothing but his feet on the path and his heavy breathing. It wasn’t long until the woods were completely bathed in darkness, and as he heard the distant howl of a wolf, the man realized he would need to seek shelter to survive the night. Luckily, his fast pace had put him just within a stone’s throw from the old boulder. As he heard the lone howl being answered by a chorus, he reached the old glen. The man quickly moved towards the rock, but as he tried to climb it, he found that the natural grips of the rugged surface were no longer there; the entire boulder now one smooth surface.

So he died screaming, with his steaming entrails spilling out on the green grass of the glen, as Gnejgar and his brothers feasted.

by **Jeruselem** » Sat Sep 24, 2022 9:21 pm

Princess Stella and Jeruselem Manager Kate Dallas

Kate: So you finally got Mum's job
Stella: Actually everyone else didn't want it, too much travel but hey I'm happy to travel
Kate: I guess you're now legal too now
Stella: Yes well, it's a bit hard travelling around the world legally as a child
Kate: The only problem is people are going to think you're my daughter now
Stella: Oh yes, you have the same name as my Mum ... almost

Kate: Well, so got aquainted with the name of our Group yet?
Stella: Urg, some of them are like ... WTF, what's this
Kate: I noticed that but that always happens
Stella: Good thing I can talk like Mum and pretend to know what I'm on about
Kate: She's not socially awkward like me
Stella: I guess that helps when you're on live TV

Kate: So ... who's in the Group 6 again. I'm not the best with names either ...
Stella: Ochre Islands, you know who they are.
Kate: Yeah, they love us.
Stella: Civia Welephilostopia ... I'll just call them Civia because the 2nd part of gooblygook to me
Kate: Never heard of them before, of the new teams in the cup I guess
Stella: República Guanacasteca, looks another one of newer teams

Kate: Well, the name isn't as bad as the other one
Stella: Delaclava, them again. They love us too.
Kate: They will be fun
Stella: Jeruselem! Oh yes, that's us. Next is Flavovespia ... again
Kate: Geez, a lot of teams we know in this group as it is. That's already three of them.
Stella: Efnakia, maybe we've played them in the past but not sure

Kate: Well I don't think so but they weren't exactly remembered anyway
Stella: Britland, sounds familiar but there's a lot of nations with a similiar name
Kate: I think those are new too, at least I can spell that one ...
Stella: Togonistan, another one of those we have no idea about
Kate: Pretty sure they are new to us as well
Stella: Hopal, another new one to us. At least it's a short name ...

Kate: Weird mix in group 6, either we know them or have no bloody idea about them.
Stella: And ZWANGZUG, them again
Kate: Your mum just calls them The Zug, for some reason
Stella: Well, I guess we know the ones we know and the rest are black boxes
Kate: We'll just worry about those names we know about
Stella: I guess I have to learn all about international travel, without a parent.

Kate: You'll be fine, your family are natural travellers not homebodies like me.
Stella: But you're family too but I guess far removed
Kate: Nomimally related but in reality, not really apart from the common ancestor
Stella: Yeah MUM
Kate: It's annoying have the same name as your Mum
Stella: I call everyone Mum for fun

Later ...
Princess Stella Anna Dallas on Naked News Jeruselem ...

Hello! This is Princess Stella Anna Dallas for Naked News Jeruselem reporting on the World Cup 92 or World Cup XCII if you use Roman numerals.

Ahem just heads up on Jerusemeites heading overseas to make sure they picked up their new passports with the new security features. We are no longer allowing people to go overseas with older design one as we've run into problems with people trying to get into Jeruselem with fake ones based on the old design.

Yes they do look very different as don't want people kinda mixing them. Most of the changes aren't visible other than the new cover but most changes have to with the inside. You will notice there's more weird cryptographic stuff in there with a special QR code for scanners. This was missing in the old one. Also the size of the embedded chip in the passport was reduced as sometimes the old one could be damaged by mishandling or just people bending it too much. And the old one had rather weak cryptography so ...

No you don't have to pay for the new replacement one, because we're pretty much forcing you to change to it anyway. For those trying to impersonate a Jeruselem royal with fake passport, don't bother. We have different passports to other people ...

Due to recent incidents at the airport with some ... badly behaved visitors, we'll be increasing security at the international airports with armed guards. I'm talking anti-terrorism level people here with fully automatic weapons. Unfortunately too many unhinged crazy people are causing disruptions, some of them named "Karen" ...

Don't me alarmed if no one is wearing facemasks, it's too much trouble enforcing COVID restrictions these days. We aren't stopping people wearing facemasks but we aren't enforcing it either. If you want to do it, go ahead. You might need to take it off if asked for security check though, and yes you have to.

Visitors coming in don't need to be worried about us snooping around the contents of your laptops, phones or tablets. We simply don't have the time and it's not really necessary since don't have dracocian laws to enforce. In fact, most of the time ... we just find the person has lots of photos of my mum which isn't illegal to have. I mean it's not like it's a secret she doesn't wear much most of time on TV. I mean, I'm not wearing much now either.

That's about it, see you all later for the first game of the World Cup 92. I'll be a regular here at the airports after that.

by **Cabo Azure** » Sun Sep 25, 2022 10:52 am

”Rex ex Machina”, pt 1
“Does it rain in California?
Only dream I’ve ever known
Will they love you when you’re famous?
Will you never be alone?
Hope someday I’ll find nirvana
I’ll be looking down below
I’ll be dead at twenty-seven
Only nine more years to go.”

The meeting of the Cabo Azure Narrative Council came to order with the bang of a gavel, a sharp sound which echoed in the still, small space. They met in a study room beneath Maritime University’s humanities building, two floors below the office of Dr. Kinzie Schved, tenured professor of history, women’s studies, and Esportivan studies at the University and the Council’s gavel-wielding chairwoman. Humanities was located on the leeward side of campus, a safe distance from the Sextant, the Fonseca Building, the Royal Palace, and the National Guard barracks, all of which were central to the Narrative and therefore places Councilmembers avoided. They knew they must not be too closely tied to the Narrative itself, lest they run the risk of crossing into the self-referential or the indulgent. One of Kinzie’s undergraduate advisees, a pretty young thing called Rachel (or was it Raquel?), had recently been featured in the Narrative recently, only as a one-off exposition device, but even that was too close for comfort.

The minutes from the previous meeting were dutifully read by the parliamentarian, a bespectacled undergrad on loan from the University’s student government, and then Dr. Schved opened the floor for the reports of standing committees. First to report was the Football Committee, which consisted of the Council’s full membership minus Kinzie, Zora Sequeira, and Mario Borges, who had been a football player but whose role on the council was more concerned with his political career. The committee chair was Avery Trujillo, late of Strangers FC and later the national team coach in Venta de la Mesilla, a nation which had disappeared at an indeterminate point in the past. Of the Councilmembers, only the two Azureans, Borges and Zora, could claim to represent a country which still existed.

“We are pleased to report that Vasco Cardoso has accepted a contract with Mountainside in Eura,” reported Trujillo, “Thus rescuing him from peaking in the Silver League or, worse, having to play domestically.”

“Mountainside?” asked Borges, seated to Kinzie’s left. “Don’t they win the National Cup?”

“Already won it,” clarified Alex Malone, the other Mesillano on the Council besides Trujillo. “They’ll participate in the Cup Winners’ Cup.”

“How’d they do?” inquired Kinzie, pursing her lips as she considered the verb tense.

“Strictly speaking,” mansplained the other Alex, Alex Hawkins, the lone Hasznian on the Council. Like Vasco Cardoso, Hawkins had been traded into obscurity, but unlike Vasco Cardoso, he hadn’t returned. “It hasn’t happened yet, but it will, and when it does, Mountainside will lose a heartbreaker in the semifinals.”

Kinzie’s withering glance was all the response that warranted. “Very well,” she said. “Any other news from the footballing world we should be aware of?”

“Pio Mendonca’s signed with a side out of Quebec,” piped up Trujillo, who was still a noncommissioned officer at heart, happy to take the focus off his troops when they were wrong.

“Narrative intertwinement with Quebec is old news,” Borges said dismissively. “Let us know when you break new ground.”

The Council wordlessly moved on to the report of the combined Politics and Politics by Other Means Committee, much to the chagrin of the parliamentarian. He hadn’t been informed that Politics had merged with By Other Means in time to include it in his PowerPoint agenda, and was so consumed with the update that he missed recording the motion to close debate on the Football Committee’s report. He gave credit to Zora Sequeira, but it felt all wrong.

“Madame Chairwoman,” cooed Borges, who chaired PAPBOM, “We are pleased to report the Rushmori Cold War is moving ahead on schedule. We anticipate many narrative bullets derived from this event.”

“That’s good news,” Kinzie acknowledged, “But what have you done besides piggyback on Eura’s existing narrative?”

“We’ve shown the reactions of common Azurean citizens to rising tension around the region.” This from Liam McRae, previously the chair of the separate Politics by Other Means committee. He was one of the Council’s two military veterans, the other being Trujillo, having been drafted into the military of his native Santa Rafa back when that country was active.

“Let me ask it a different way,” Kinzie continued. “Would the Rushmori Cold War be going ahead in the same manner without Azurean participation?”

“Well, possibly,” McRae allowed, “But-”

Kinzie’s eyes narrowed. “Then how can we really claim it as our narrative, Mr. McRae?”

“Ca-Canary Thunder,” stammered Borges. “Joint training with the Quebecois forces. Massive military buildup in and around Cabo Azure. Force projection.”

“What happened to ‘narrative intertwinement with Quebec is old news’, Mario?” cooed Kinzie, smirking mirthlessly despite herself. She’d expected Borges to say that, and she’d had the retort planned in days in advance. Or was it weeks? Decades?

The standing committees’ reports completed, the body moved onto old business, of which there was none. Upon the announcement of new business, the parliamentarian noted a new face in the crowd, raising his hand to be added to the speaker list; the young man had never seen this person before, but the rest of the Council seemed to accept his presence, so onto the list he went.

Owen Miles was the one-time coach of the Steel Coast Steel Tusks national football team, which had debuted ten whole cycles before Cabo Azure was even a thought. Though he attended Council meetings regularly, none had ever heard him speak before this moment. His nation had had the shortest window of existence of any of the nations represented on the Council, and so he generally had the least to say about narrative affairs, though he dutifully recorded the minutes of the Football Committee on days when the parliamentarian had club badminton practice.

“I want to draw this body’s attention to a serious problem,” Miles began, burying the lead so deep Kinzie wondered if she’d have to extract it from him. “This great nation of Cabo Azure, which we’ve all adopted, has no heir to its throne. Princess Alexandra will succeed King Manuel, and Princess Veronica will succeed Alexandra, but there is no narrative in place that could lead to the announcement of a successor. Madame Chairwoman, I move to open debate on the subject of succession.”

The correct use of procedure pleased the parliamentarian, who began taking down names as speakers stood to be recognized. Borges was first.

“Ladies and gentlemen of the Council,” he began pompously. “I believe this could be our opportunity to transition Cabo Azure to a republican form of government. After all, the reinstatement of the monarchy following O Interregno was the default option, and there is a well-established republican resistance. The transition to a republic has great narrative promise and would show the maturation of the Azurean public.”

No sooner had he yielded than Dr. Zora Sequeira, professor of economics and next on the speaker’s list, exploded: “The people aren’t ready for a republic! Any such transition would require tons of boring exposition, the type that is best left for factbooks.” A chill went around the room. Several Councilmembers crossed themselves or gave Dr. Sequeira dirty looks for dropping the “F” bomb on the record. “All the best narratives are family narratives; we already know this. Surely one of the three Fonseca siblings must be prepared to provide an heir and a spare. I yield to Alex Malone.”

Malone inclined his head before beginning. “Are they, though?” he mused. “Manuel is in his mid-thirties and married to his job. Alexandra has spent a great deal of narrative fiat fighting for reproductive choice, and her fight isn’t done, not to mention she is a physician who understands the risks of advanced maternal age. Any child born to Ronnie would face questions of legitimacy, and I’d frankly prefer not to even raise those. I yield my time.”

The floor returned to Dr. Sequeira. “I acknowledge Malone’s points,” she said conciliatorially. “If the people aren’t ready for a republic, they damn sure aren’t ready for a succession crisis. If they’re going to produce an heir, we’re going to need to set it up properly to ensure it isn’t a deus ex machina and therefore hokey.” Another dirty word; the parliamentarian looked up the rules for censure, just in case.

Zora yielded her time to Avery Trujillo, who was next on the speaker’s list. “Malone and Dr. Sequeira bring up valid points,” he began. “I’d like to add that none of the three siblings has a strong incentive to have children, as all three had front-row seats to watch their parents’ marriage fall apart as a direct result of politics. It seems like a cop out to have them turn around and produce a happy family at this point.”

This elicited nods of agreement from the rest of the Council as the floor passed from Trujillo to Alex Hawkins, the Hasznian, who said: “I know better than most the shortcomings of a ‘missing royal’ storyline.” More head bobbed; indeed, Hasznia in its day had included an ersatz royal family, deposed and forgotten by both history and Narrative. “But the writing was on the wall for Hasznia, or not, long before that ill-fated arc. Perhaps with sufficient preparation and zhoosh, we can adapt the concept for Cabo Azure.”

“Where would we find a royal?” asked Kinzie, wholly out of turn, but no one seemed to object, so the parliamentarian said nothing. “Would such a person not have come out of the woodwork when Queen Abby was beginning her rise to power?

“Before that, even,” objected Trujillo, who was not supposed to speak again until the speaker’s list had run its course. The parliamentarian settled for a seething glare in his direction. “When King Reinaldo was seeking to remove his rivals, he wouldn’t have allowed anyone with a claim to remain in the islands.”

“Unfortunately, we’ve spent plenty of time in the early days of O Interregno without mentioning a cadet branch,” McRae observed, not observing the speaker’s list as he did so. Defeated, the parliamentarian dug into his backpack and produced a laptop, upon which he began doing his homework for abnormal psych. “To invent one now would be as much of a deus ex machina as anything.”

“It would have to be a branch that was mostly unknown to the Azureans themselves,” mused Hawkins, “And even then, we run the risk of making it too easy. We can’t invalidate the Fonseca siblings’ experience by providing the nation an easy out; the whole point of the arc is that their childhood trauma has repercussions for the rest of Cabo Azure.”

“If I may,” began Owen Miles, who was actually next on the speaker’s list, and therefore may indeed, “We are discussing two discrete, but related problems, and I’d like to frame them as such. First, there is the specific problem of finding someone to succeed Manuel, since neither he nor his sisters seems interested in reproducing. Second, there is the issue of Cabo Azure’s future in general. It has already lasted longer than any of our nations did, and yet it is still in danger if its narrative does not stabilize soon. There is only so much worldbuilding that can be done with half a million people scattered across a collection of rocks in the ocean. Cabo Azure’s future is overseas, in the interaction with its neighbors near and far, and if we look there, I suggest we may find the solution to our problem. With that, Madam Chairwoman, I move to charge this matter to the Royalty Committee.”

There was an immediate second from Alex Malone, which the parliamentarian looked up just in time to record, and then the voting started. The yeas took it in a landslide, and Kinzie closed debate with the stroke of her gavel.

“Moreover,” she said as she did, “This meeting having served its narrative function, I hereby adjourn us.”

by **Elmyia** » Sun Sep 25, 2022 11:12 am

Itchy Feet Travel Guide
A Pocket Guide to... Elmyia!

Elmyia is a new destination for the global football fan as they enter their first international tournament, and to travel it might be useful to know a bit and have some places available. Elmyia is located on a reasonably small island just off the coast of Sicily. The population is split between Italians, the descendants of Anglo-Normans who rules from the 11th century and a Greek diaspora. To describe it as a melting pot might be slightly inaccurate, these cultures do interact with each other as such, living largely in a spirit of passive tolerance. Elmyians are reasonably personable one on one, and you can expect a warm welcome in one of the many tavernas or inns that spread across the country. The climate is very welcoming, warm or mild all year round and very dry, and food and accommodation remain very cheap, if slightly basic.

The basics

Fortunately for many travels, the lingua franca is English, although the majority don't speak it as their first language. Speaking in English is best advised, locals speak their own dialects of English, Italian or in standard Greek, using the wrong one is likely to lead to a frostier reception than speaking in English.

In terms of arriving in the country, there are two main airports serving Beaucester and Mosfleet, the two largest cities. Public transport is developed between these two conurbations, but less so across the rest of the country. Light rail serves these two cities, and can take you to either of the stadiums that Elmyia will be playing at, as well local accommodation. Other towns in Elmyia are reachable via a network of coaches, which need to be booked in advance. Whilst the rest of Elmyia has not provided much for tourists previously, there are some undiscovered gems, particularly some of the small beach side towns, with dusty, unpaved streets, quiet tavernas and unpretentious, fresh, food.

Tourists in Elmyia will not just be rewarded with a cheap break, in a chronically under explored country with stunning weather, the government has also launched a string on incentives for visitors. Not only will coaches be heavily subsidized, but tax breaks announced for eateries and accommodation will also be reduced 50% from already low rates in towns outside of Mosfleet and Beaucester. To access, you simply need to show your tourism visa.

Understanding Elmyia

To understand Elmyia, it helps to understand something of the history and culture. Elmyia's kicks off with the settling of the area by Norman invaders around the same time as Sicily, previously it had been barely populated, largely a base for various pirates and traders to use as a staging post in the Mediterranean. Unlike other areas the Normans settled, a large number emigrated to Elmyia, including Anglo-Saxon serfs who were forcibly transferred. As time passed immigration and the settling of the island continued, with peasants from Sicily and further Anglo-Normans settling the island and establishing various settlements over time.

Elmyia spent most of the time, up until the end of the Napoleonic wars, being passed between various powers in the region. Life on a domestic level experienced little in the way of change, with various overlords doing little to establish their authority over the native population. This changes as Napoleon conquered the island in 1798, carrying out a series of modernising reforms, the main one of which was the abolition of serfdom, ushering in the conditions under which a more democratic society could emerge. At the end of the Napoleonic wars, Elmyia managed to self-liberate, as Napoleons forces withdrew to fight in places of greater strategic importance, Elmyia declaring its First Republic. The period from then, until the 1860s was marked as a period of peace and prosperity, with Elmyia receiving the protection of the British state it largely focused on continue to farm, and saw the growth of some industry, particularly in textiles manufacturing around Diepfleet, Catamouge and Mosfleet.

From 1860, two new trends emerged, with opinion in the Italian community pushing towards union with the Kingdom of Italy, and also the expansion of the Greek community as they sought to escape Ottoman rule. The tensions only increased as the fascist aligned Union Party kept increasing its share of the vote across the late 1920s, a development that started to unnerve the English and Greek elements of the population. Eventually, tensions reached a head in 1935, as no political bloc was able to form a majority, with the fascist aligned Union Party and the Marxist Workers' Party taking over half the seats between them. Having seen how this had played out in Germany, the military intervened, staging a bloodless coup and putting General Paul Chapman in charge, with the tacit agreement of London. Chapman's dictatorship governed until 1957, having staged referendums which backed the continuing of the dictatorship in 1946 and 1951, before a 1956 referendum backed a return to free elections.

Since then, Elmyia has remained somewhat of a backwater. Its early industrial development seemed to stand in the way of experiencing a similar boom in the service sector as was seen in Malta and Gibraltar. Elmyia remains dominated by its agricultural sector, which is highly unproductive due to the level of small farms and family owned operations.

Where to go in... Mosfleet

Most of Elmyia's game are likely to be played at one of the two big stadiums in Mosfleet, so this will provide the point of entry for the majority of visitors. Mosfleet is sometimes a city considered without charms, dominated by a massive port, and vast residential areas of shonky concrete blocks, it can be hard to see what there might be to love. Scour about though, and there are gems to be unearthed. The medieval centre is small but packs a punch, take it in with an espresso at one of the many cafes, or sit out with a cheap glass of wine on piazza del granito and take in the ramshackle stone buildings. The central cathedral is also a real draw, built in the 13th century and on a grand scale, it dominates it immediate surroundings.

Further out and one area really worth a shout is the inner city neighborhood of Esquilar. Esquilar is the one area in Elmyia where all three distinct cultures on the island truly mix, with Greek tavernas rubbing up against Italian cafes and English inns. Esquilar has also been the hub of the nascent restaurant scene in Elmyia, with these previously being incredibly rare. While the neighborhood consists largely of squalid concrete buildings, it is the content of them that is most likely to entice travelers.

Where to Stay

$ - Taverna Del Marco

Of all the tavernas in central Mosfleet, this provides by far the best value for money. Owned and operated for the last 30 years by couple Marco and Genevieve, this small taverna sits just in the Greek quarter of the city centre. A ten minute walk to the railway station, you should be able to get to Tollington Park or Stadio Luca Spaletti in 20 and 25 minutes respectively. The rooms sit above the taverna, with food served at night for all paying customers, and a complimentary breakfast made from whatever is on hand in the morning. Marco and Genevieve have long been known as generous hosts, and are very helpful with directions and with suggesting places to get food or drink. The taverna is decorated in an old fashioned manner, but with plenty of natural light rooms are a steal, starting from just $8 a night for a single.

$ - Saint Christopher's Hostel

Another budget option is the well appointed, and ludicrously cheap, Saint Christopher's hostel. Usually run for people making the pilgrimage to Mosfleet's cathedral, it has a wide series of large dorm rooms that can hold up to twelve, with a bed coming from just $3 a night. Whilst they don't provide food, shower facilities are free and scrupulously clean, so it makes a decent option for travelers on a tight budget. The christian foundation of the hostel means that, whilst drunkness is tolerated, rowdiness will likely lead to your ejection.

$$ - The Willow Inn

The Willow Inn is truly a gem, and is a vastly more modern institution than most you'll find in Elmyia. Sat on the edge of Esquilar, you can see across to the medieval centre from the windows in the bar and the rooms. Well appointed, light, airy and modern, it offers something more in keeping with the tastes of most travelers than the more traditional inns and taverns. The food at Willow inn is also something to behold, modern fare on an ever rotating and seasonal menu. Whilst the menu never rests, today's dishes are presented on a blackboard for guests to order from, its consistent feature is its inventiveness. This writer tried both a mushroom Gnocchi with a confit egg and a crab linguine with charred fennel, and both were delicious. Rooms start at $20, with dinner extra, but dishes tend to vary between $7 and $15, with wine and beer extra, but inexpensive.

$$$ - International Hotel and Spa

So, you really want to splash out. You've got money to burn and you're not afraid to let it be known. Well, you're in luck, the international is perhaps the best appointed hotel in Elmyia, towering over the city centre, there are excellent balcony views over the medieval heart of the city, and out to sea from the penthouse suite at the top. Rooms are large, luxuriously appointed and spa treatments are available at knockdown prices for guests. Rooms vary a lot in price, a double on a lower floor will set you back $125 a night, the penthouse suite goes for around $2,000 a night.

Where to Eat

$ - Any Taverna, Inn or Trattoria

Seriously, if you want to eat well and cheap, rock up to any of the many inns, tavernas or trattorias that provide food cheaply and plentifully on any of the main streets around the central quarters of the city. The medieval centre's options are more limited, you're better off exploring Esquilar, or the Latin or Norman quarters. Pick somewhere busy and you can't go far wrong, expect that a main with alcohol will set you back somewhere between $4 and $10 total.

$$ - Tapas Luca

Small plates are not a phenomenon that has often graced Elmyia. Bar snacks were always a known quantity, at best a chunk of meat and bread, or at worst a packet of crisps, but something resembling tapas had never emerged. Tapas Luca provides somewhat of an antidote to that, a selection of Spanish, Italian and Greek style small plates, the fennel sausage, arrosticini and lentil dish all come highly recommended. 7 dishes between two is probably sufficient, and will set you back around $20-$35 depending on what you order. The wine list has a range of options, a bottle varying between $4 and £18.

$$$ - Giorgione's

In the emerging restaurant scene, Giorgione's has been the standout and trend setter of the lot. Located in the Latin quarter, it has imported many innovations from abroad that had yet to find an audience in Elmyia. From introducing nouvelle cuisine in the early 2000s, Giorgione's has started to absorb influences from molecular gastronomy, and has now launched a tasting menu. The a la carte offers more entry level prices, around $40 each for 2 courses and wine, while the tasting menu is $80 with a matching wine flight.

Where to go in... Beaucester

If Mosfleet's charms are difficult to find, then Beaucester's are obvious. Where Mosfleet has only the medieval centre of any charm, Beaucester stands in marked contrast, a city of buildings as plentiful as they are beautiful. Consider shelling out $2 for the city card - this gives you access to all trains in the city, access to all museums and entrance to the cathedral, parliament building and the Fortress in the centre of the city. The buildings are all magnificent, and whilst the collections in the museums may be meager by regional standards, the museum of Elmyian history and the Di Letti Art Collection are both very diverting for a bit of time. The city's culinary scene exceeds most of the country, although similarly dominated by small scale establishments advertising their foods on chalkboards outside, the variety and imagination behind this fare is far in excess of that elsewhere.

Beaucester also makes a better base for exploring the rest of Elmyia, whilst only being just over an hour from the stadiums in Mosfleet. Ignoring further flung destinations there are some small, charming, suburbs and satellite towns in striking distance to explore. Consider taking the train 20 minutes out to Munster, a charming Georgian town with quaint shops and cafes. Alternatively, Marshfleet is a 40 minute walk out of the centre along a river path, with a charming parade of bars and cafes by the water's edge.

Where to Stay

Beaucester's inns and tavernas are among the best in the country, the tastes of the owners running well ahead of those elsewhere in the country. With the city being small, largely walkable and almost universally pretty you can't go far wrong in terms of this accommodation, although The Boatman's Inn and Taverna Luca Totti deserve honorable mentions for the charm of their hosts.

$$ - Hotel Nouvo

A slightly more upmarket option for those looking for the quintessential hotel experience. A dedicated and hard working staff make this hotel great for international travelers, the team are very knowledgeable about the area. Additionally, the 10th story roof bar offers excellent views across the centre of the city, particularly across to parliament square and the government quarter. Basic double rooms start at a reasonable $25, but rooms with great views and king size beds will set you back $60 a night. Book in advance to avoid disappointment on holidays and weekends.

$$$$ - The Monarch Beaucester

The definitive statement in luxury and elegance, the Monarch offers opulence unmatched in the rest of the country. Most rooms come as standard with an outstanding view of the most beautiful city in Elmyia, as well as complementary champagne, around the clock luxury room service and some of the most fussily prepared food and drink in the country. The Monarch's bar is notorious, both for the ever-presence of the country's most patrician gossips, and for producing some of the finest cocktails in the land. If you have more money than sense, consider a standard room from $800 a night. If you have several houses to remortgage, consider the palatial suite, complete with hot tub, sauna and swim up bar, for $2500 a night. If you don't have organs you're able to sell, or the benefit of thousands of years of accumulated wealth and privilege, consider treating yourself to a $12 Negroni in the bar.

Where to Eat

Once again, the answer can basically be anywhere that looks busy, small tavernas, trattorias and inns do a roaring trade and are universally homely, welcoming and generous with their portions. However, Beaucester's food scene is developing, albeit slightly behind Esquilar's in Mosfleet. One area that Beaucester leads the nation is embracing non-Europe cuisines, and the following places are the most notable in this regard.

$$ - Cafe Tripoli

When compared to surrounding cultures, Elmyia has done little to absorb influences from North Africa, but Cafe Tripoli is doing much to belatedly challenge this. Food is served at long wooden tables, no bookings so you pile in with the locals. Options are extensive, and you'll be treated to generous portions of tagine, borek or zaalouk. This establishment, somewhat at odds with dining culture elsewhere in Elmyia, does not serve alcohol, instead you can treat yourself to the various fresh juices on offer, in addition to lashings of mint tea, served ceremonially for guests at the table. Prices range from about $8 to $15 for a main, but a variety of appetizers do come free.

$$ - The Lotus

Quite possibly the only place to obtain anything resembling Chinese food in Elmyia. Their menu is extensive, taking in a variety of regional dishes, with the kitchen staffed by three chefs from varying parts of the country. The noodle dishes come particularly recommended, but pretty much all standard favorites are available. Whilst it is unlikely the Lotus would stand out in any other major city, it is a great way to break up the slight monotony that can come from consuming traditional Elmyian food for the entirety of your stay.

Where Else to Go

Elmyia doesn't stop with the two major cities! By virtue of being an island Elmyia is both relatively easy to get around quickly, and has a variety of charming beachside towns. Of these, Sablegaard is by far the most obvious destination, a 19th century beach resort, rows of beautiful houses with pastel shutters radiate back from the most popular beach in Elmyia. For accommodation, Taverna Bianca provides some rooms with spectacular beach views and friendly service, whilst Hotel Sunshine provides all the basics of a hotel room for a very reasonable $10 a night. Eating in Sablegaard is, again, a case of pitching up somewhere popular. The seafood restaurants by the marina provide delicious, fresh seafood to a seemingly endless stream of customers. If you're looking for a special meal out, Bistro Rossi offers excellent set menus and a refined dining experience with well-matched wine pairings.

Further afield and there are a variety of beachside destinations worth dropping into. The Villemont campsite is free for tents, and a nominal $1.50 a night for those with caravans. Villemont itself is well worth an explore. The 14th century fortifications and town wall make for an interesting afternoon's walk, before stopping at Andreas' Winery, serving wines directly from the vineyard, these pair spectacularly with small, simply prepared seafood bites and views out over the chalky cliffs and blue waters. The beach at Epvalle is possibly the most beautiful small beach around, located in a secluded cove, you could do worse than take a room at the Red Lion Inn, albeit the food available is incredibly basic.

Overall, Elmyia has much to offer, and with the discounts and incentives put into place for visitors, it would be well worth your while exploring further!

by **Zwangzug** » Sun Sep 25, 2022 5:14 pm

The Kerlagrad Courier

Puyo-Sachars make baby due to love, prophecy, Cham being ninth

Kate DiMarini has announced the Zwangzug 26-person (we're still getting used to that) roster for the World Cup 92 qualifiers. Nancy Puyo-Sachar, a midfield dynamo for DiMarini's former club Trebuchet Cham, was a startling omission. But shortly after this was published, Puyo-Sachar took to social networking site blatter to post her exciting news; she and husband Griffith, the Zebras manager, are expecting their first child next year.

"Griffith and I have always supported each other in following our individual careers, and his retirement as a player didn't affect my decision in any way," she emphasized. "While I recognize this may come as a surprise to my fans in the football world, I hope you will be cheering for me in this new phase of my life as ardently as you have always supported me on the pitch."

In his first cycle as the Zebras manager, Griffith led the baseball team to the finals of the World Baseball Classic, losing to the Elephants of South Newlandia in the tenth inning of the seventh game. It was a tremendous accomplishment, especially because of his cryptic claims of being the Kwisatz Haderach and struggles with prescience-induced fatalism during his playing career. "It just goes to show there are some things even a prodigiously gifted mind cannot foresee," Nancy pointed out. "But we want to make it clear we will love our child unconditionally, whether or not they are an athlete, a government bureaucrat, or a galactic god-emperor. We have no expectation that they will follow in our footsteps."

While the 1./ enjoys high levels of sex parity, the nation as a whole is relatively prudish regarding the reproductive act, Græntfjaller investigative journalism notwithstanding. "Nancy has always been an advocate for women's equal rights and responsibilities," claimed her teammate Kayla Haugen, captain of Cham and now the national team. "And I'm sure her work with nonprofits to promote access to contraceptives in the developing world is very...look, I give up, this isn't convincing anybody."

Haugen did, however, offer her own theory on why Nancy may not have minded bringing her playing days to an abrupt end. "Look, we're defending champions, right? Last sixteen in the Challengers' Cup. We should be in contention for the Champions' League at the very least, not floundering in the bottom half. Now I'm not saying the Puyo-Sachars have foreknowledge of a regular season that hasn't been officially publicized yet, but if Griffith is having psychic visions, maybe he realized that season forty would be a bust."

Zwangzug have been drawn into Group 6, where as the lowest-ranked first seed in the qualifiers, they will face a stern test from oh bleep please don't make Jeruselem weigh in on our roster turnover.

"I just hope it's not twins," Haugen said, "because that would be shallow and derivative of Starblaydi folk heroes, probably."

by **The Cordian Isles** » Mon Sep 26, 2022 2:17 pm

Snippets

“... with four years of experience on the national team, most of those as captain, Sebastian Voll has become a towering figure in Cordian football. But are those years coming to a close? The star striker for the North Stars hasn’t said anything to that end, but he’ll be thirty-four when the next World Cup rolls around and thirty-three at the next AOCAF. Cordian football fans should seriously consider the possibility that in the next couple of years, there will be a gaping hole in the Cordian front line. On the other hand, the Brenville Blue don’t appear to think he’ll be leaving anytime soon, as Isak Salminen is hardly a worthy successor to the man who has made the Cordian name known around the world. However, Voll isn’t the only national team starter for whom this could be the last World Cup cycle. The average age of the starting eleven is just over 29, with six having reached the age of thirty. With the top players aging, the Cordian youth movement has become even more important…”

“... I’m saying Gunnvor Nieminen should be starting and listed in the first eleven! Just take a look at what he’s accomplished - he’s one of the better players and has received honors in the league ranked thirty-second in the world, and Hannah Andersen is mediocre in a league that is both stagnating, and even still worse than than the CIFA! Sure, she’s had some success and I’m not disputing that her experience is valuable, but Diandra Ballard needs to accept that the youth coming up through the system is top-notch and open up more opportunities to them. Nieminen is one example; sure, Andersen’s experience is valuable, but three people including her on that middle line have over fifty caps; Rasmus Karlssen and Nicholas Eriksen provide more than enough experience and plenty of goal production to cover for Gunnvor Nieminen’s occasional screw-ups. And even then? The man has half the goals of Hannah Andersen in less than a tenth of the caps! Give Gunnvor Nieminen the caps he’s earned!”

“... ‘Sebastian, what do you think of the theories all over the internet that say this might be your last World Cup Cycle?’

‘It remains to be seen. I haven’t made any decisions yet, I’ve got a solid year to go on the contract with Brenville and we’ve been talking about renewing it. No plans, nothing set in stone right now.’

‘Would you consider retiring from the national team and continuing to play for the Blue in the near future?’

‘Unless we’ve got a prospect on the NT who needs experience and could fill the hole, no, that’s not going to happen, and even then I’d prefer to stay on and offer advice and assistance to the forwards at least…’”

“... ‘Gunnvor, what are your thoughts on what seems to be the common idea that you should be started instead of Hannah Andersen?’

‘They don’t give her nearly enough credit. They talk about her getting old and things, but I’ve hardly hit my pride, and we’ve seen plenty of people put up huge numbers in their first matches and taper off. She’s been around longer, so she deserves the nod and the starting eleven spot. I’ll get enough caps in qualifying to get some experience under my belt…’”

“‘Hannah, there’s been a lot of talk since the roster has been released that you shouldn’t be starting. What’s your reaction to that?’

‘I feel like I’m still a big contributor to this team. People have been calling out my lack of big stats for years and saying I’m not skilled enough to be on this team. I was never meant to be a top scorer, I’ve always had a good defensive presence. They’ve been recycling the same shit for so long, so it doesn’t faze me like it used to…’”

“‘Diandra, there’s been a lot of talk that you’ve got something against the younger generations and that that’s why they’re not getting so many starts. Would you like to address that?’

‘Yeah, I would. Take a look at the scores, take a look at the rankings. We’re doing just fine. Thanks for your concern, I promise you I won’t keep starting players until they’re fifty, thank you, goodnight.’”

by **Huayramarca** » Mon Sep 26, 2022 10:10 pm

News Compact - January 25^th.

Written by: Fernanda Alva

25/01/1987 – Last Updated: 11:00 P.M.

Another day that is almost to a close, another day that we, at the redaction office of Trome, work to deliver you with the breaking news of Huayramarca, Anaia and the Multiverse. This is our compromise at Trome, to deliver you with the best information to help you acquire an opinion from a reliable source. Trome is always there to inform you first!

Today, January 25th has been quite a day for Huayramarcan politicians, not for the traditional reasons one would expect, instead, reasons that are totally different and may have significant implications despite being simple in essence not only for us, if not for the region. As usual, we will disclose the news as it happened through the day, chronologically, to give you a better understanding of our current context.

Schiedam, Scandonia: The Continent of Foringana, previously located in Atlantian Oceania, has suffered one of their biggest political seismic situations as of now. According to the news outlet PBC, four of the five nations that composed the old continent of said region opted to “leave it”. Pacitalia, Scandonia, Bärenberg and Medovicia are the nations that took a decision that came as a surprise for the neighbouring regions of Atlantian Oceania, Anaia, Esportiva, Melayu, Sonnel and Rushmore, part of the so-called “sporting belt”.

Arnau Klüger Ferrer, foreign minister of the Pacitalian nation was spotted by media when he took his plane from Timiocato to Schiedam, part of the preparations for the shocking joint announcement. As he met his counterparts from the other nations, speculations appeared from a potential break-up, something that had been rumored for months and came to fruition until this day. The christened “Forexit”, a move not shared by Drakia, the dissenting nation of the block, had a small presentation to the media without any chance to question the leaders on any motivation for the secession.

Some minutes after, the Pacitalian Ministry of Foreign Affairs uploaded through social media a communiqué in regard to the decision, something that noted several points that had eroded, through the years, the “sentiment of belonging” of the continent within Atlantian Oceania. Those points were the following:

Stalled conversations among the bloc and a duet of nations composed by Jabal Akhdar and the Commonwealth of Baker Park, which started at the beginning of the 91^st cycle AOCAF.
The attempt of “intervention” of Græntfjall against Jabal Akhdar after, allegedly, terrorist cells from the latter perpetrated terrorist attacks against the city of Steinaux, Græntfjall.
The deemed as “unproper” reaction (according to the bloc) of the Atlantian Oceania Regional Defence Organisation (AORDO) as they weren’t able to hold a “truly” representative decision to act favourably for regional interests.

This caused the continent to split off Atlantian Oceania bar Drakia, whose Prime Minister said that the decision “caught him by surprise”, henceforth, he asked the coalition for more time to meditate on the decision and analyse the implications of it. Unsurprisingly, this has led to several thoughts across the “Sporting Belt” of the Multiverse and Huayramarca wasn’t the exception to the shockwave as the National Government uploaded, on social media, a press release detailing their stance. A document that we annex their full test:

To the Multiversal Community

It has been brought to the attention of the Huayramarcan Government the valiant decision made by the leaders of four out of the five nations that compose the continent of Foringana of secede from Atlantian Oceania.

As said before, we consider this is valiant due to the difficulty that inherently resides upon a decision of this relevance; to let aside the ties with a region they have spent for a long time of their history for the quest of the greater good. A good that will be achieved if the four Foringanan nations remain as united as they have ever been, in their search for peace, stability and prosperity for their nations and those who compose them, their people.

Always firm to its core principles of freedom, sovereignty, peace and unity, Huayramarca hereby congratulates the government and people of Pacitalia, Scandonia, Bärenberg and Medovicia in this new chapter of their stories, one we hope will be filled of success. Huayramarca will always emphasize and support the struggles of the nations to achieve these principles, as those are inherent to any species in the Multiverse.

Aside, the National Government may invite the representatives of Foringana to conduct a round table, for the exchange of goods that they might require in this crucial movement, as a safety measure for the nations.
Revolución o Muerte, ¡Venceremos!

After the message from the government, the replies from members of the National Assembly were divided in two sides: the one that applauded the decision of Foringana to seek for new air and those who expressed disinterest to the situation. Marta Mamani, the President, said that she “could perfectly understand” what the leaders would feel about their core motivations to leave, as she went to the point of compare it to what Huayramarca and the now Anaian nations endured when leaving Atlantian Oceania:
“It was not an easy decision to make for us and the Foxchester block, instead, we took several rounds on debates to decide the main framework of this, which as been working appropriately so far. We weren’t represented in terms of defence, we wanted to have a closer approach with our neighbours to share a common ground for life, a more stable and solid project. They realised that, and I am that Foringana will succeed on their plans“.

Meanwhile, Cristina Suárez from the Conservative Party referred to the situation as a “smoke curtain” from the government to avoid focusing on “more important matters” for Huayramarcans. A stance that her party shared and made it note in a press release a couple of hours after the Government did it. Aside, some other MPs have asked the Government to “soft up” their approach to avoid potential controversy among nations that are part of Atlantian Oceania and are important for Huayramarca in terms of trade and tourism, specially in a moment that the Huayramarcan economic is, according to reports, experiencing “a miracle” and that any perturbation to this process could result in “opportunity costs that will never be recovered”. The communiqué expresses:

Do we speak of sovereignty as a key component of our foreign relationships? The Huayramarcan Government has, as always, forgotten the meaning of the true word of sovereignty, which is to not meddle in other countries businesses; not even daring to express anything about their decisions, unless those are affecting us in some way.

Throughout its history, Huayramarca has been a nation characterised for being interested on its own matters, nothing about the rest of nations. This has been a formula that has worked wonderfully for our nation, as we have never been subjected to invasions against our territory; that is what we get from keeping ourselves distanced from what is happening out there.

Trying to improve our economy, by creating the necessary links among other nations near Huayramarca is a must, yet we must settle a limit when it comes to nations that are outside our sphere of influence, let aside outside our region. What happens there, stays there and it is nothing of our interest unless it affects us.

We must bear in mind that meddling, though opinions on happenings of other countries, may lead to some nations to assume that we have certain leaning towards interests that could lead to misconceptions. This kind of situations are harmful for a nation that it is progressing in economic terms, that is experiencing a financial miracle as we create uncertainty… The more far away we are from that kind of situations, the best we will be rewarded.

The document, signed by two out of the three parties that compose the parliamentary opposition, has been presented to the Palacio del Altiplano to acknowledge the President about her remarks and the potential “risks” Huayramarca can be subjected. Marta Mamani herself appeared, at 2:00 p.m. in a press conference after inaugurating a school in Oxapampa, Cajamarca expressing “shock” at “how ignorant could some politicians be when it comes to diplomatic relations”.

Timezones for Anaia? As the Foxchester Agreement was signed four years ago, the signatories omitted a key part of establishing a new region such as the time zones. But why are those important for the region? what has happened with them? and what can be done to fix it? Some news erupted during the late hours of the day in Huayramarcan time.

Having defined time zones for Anaia is an important matter that could simplify a wide range of operations: from simple transactions, transportation, logistics and collaborative working across the region, as it provides certainty no matter where we are. For example, an Athearan worker could synchronise with a Huayramarcan one to do work-related activities in a better way if we know better about time offsetting among nations, as one would know if they are able to work or are dedicating some time to fall in the arms of Morpheus.

Through history, most regions and nations have based themselves in solar timing, which is particular for every town and may produce some differences between neighbouring zones, as an example, Huayramarca D.M. could be at noon, while in Sechura, the solar timing shows up that the city is 1:15 hours forward, hence, its 13:15 there. Those significant differences also produce leeway for people to change the time of their villages to their own will, as an example in old El Alto (25 years ago) where the then-mayor David Ccahuantico decided to set the time zone for the city ”intentionally three hours forward than Huayramarca D.M, implying that, despite being 10 kilometres apart, when the D.M. was at noon, El Alto clocks would display 15:00.

That disorder forced the new government, in 1980, to settle three different time zones for Huayramarca. The San Carlos Time Zone, the Coastal and Highlands Time Zone and the Jungle Time Zone for better synchronisation, to increase the efficiency of energy resources and make sure people would be safer and use more sunlight for their daily activities. This modification led that, when at Huayramarca D.M. the clock would mark 12:00, the San Carlos Islands clocks would show 11:00 and Sechuran ones 13:00.

This situation made Huayramarca to be one of the first nations to settle a proper format of time zoning in the region and, apparently, an authorised voice to propose changes to the way time zones are regarded in Anaia. Through a Summit in Koroa City yesterday, Victorina Guerrero, the Huayramarcan representative at it expressed concern regarding the lack of order in time zones, but also showed a proposal to set new time zones, which was worked side-by-side with a Ko-orenite and Plough Islander representative.

The initiative, called Anaian Coordinated Time (ACT), proposed a map of Anaia divided in 16 longitude bars and 8 latitude ones, making 128 quadrants in total. To work as a reference, a “point zero” had to be designated as the beginning of new time zones, the designated “point zero” is located between The 198 and the Euran Oceanian Territories, being that ACT 0, the latitude marks will help to add or deduct hours from the ACT line traversing that point. The map is shown below.

OOC: Credits to Ko-oren for creating the image.

Curiously, the Huayramarcan time demarcation will remain intact in three time zones, being those from ACT -4 to -2; meaning that the San Carlos Archipelago is four hours behind the ACT 0 line and Sechura only two hours behind. After analysing the proposed demarcations, there would be countries only in a time zone and only a handful of those in three time zones, such as Huayramarca, Ko-oren, the Ochre Islands and Starblaydia, as those countries span wider than others.

Although, the initiative has a long way to go, as it must be approved by the conference of metrology and standardisation representatives present in said Summit, presented by the leaders of the nations in their parliaments to subject it to vote or imposing it in dictatorships and then let people get used to the new time scheme. It is easier said than done, as it would imply a significant cultural change for the region, yet a benefit for many as time keeping, coordination and business making processes will be simplified with this proposal.

As for Huayramarcan politicians and populace, some fast surveys made show significant support towards the idea of regional time standardisation, approximately in the high 70%, opposition to it is around 10% and 20% of people is undecided or doesn’t know about it. Despite the process, there is some optimism in people like William Mamani-Hastings, Conservative MP, who says “Anything that might be beneficial for Huayramarca, and an Anaia-wide backed initiative, will change the rules of the game for a fairer business model in the region, an efficiency booster for many nations across the region.”

Carlos Uribe, a Ñucanchi Ñan MP, also considers that this kind of initiatives will always be fostered by the Huayramarcan Government, as one of the declared priorities of the Government is to support standardisation procedures across the nation, and region, to facilitate business, for education purposes and for “the general health of Huayramarca” as he considers that using more sunlight could lead to “a boost in happiness and relaxation in the mood of Huayramarcans.

Those are the most important news of the day. As always, we invite you to be informed of Trome social media networks to be always updated on what is happening in this nation, the region of Anaia and the Multiverse, with special content and good research behind it. We will strive to be a trustworthy source for all of your information needs, as we continue to set a high-bar in Huayramarcan journalism.

by **Delte** » Mon Sep 26, 2022 10:33 pm

The Quick & The Delts
1/6 : A World Cup 92 Teaser

After Cup of Harmony 83: No-one could say for certain who was the first to discover or postulate Hyper Gerontological Syndrome. Was it Professor Ryna Polestar, headmistress at Oswark Grammar School, or Aleard Sullenden the professional beer taster? Was it Doctor Orem Ustingham, the valley’s only general practitioner and first class footballer, or the little twins Orlo & Nacka, whose big brothers Burus and Onun Tasher went away to the Baptism of Fire?

Professor Polestar was with the small reception committee on Platform 3 of Oswark Station when the bullet train got in from the far far away, and the Representative Team who had been off to Mertagne & Tumbra for the Cup of Harmony alighted to a polite round of applause, a rendition of ‘How Green Is The Valley?’ by the Uskoranton Colliery Brass Band, and a presentation of drawings from the children of Ildemorton Primary School. “My my, young Tasher”, she said to Onun Tasher, her talented sixth-former who was with the travelling party as first choice attacking midfielder, “haven’t you grown up!”

“Reckon we all have, Professor Polestar,” said her PE teacher Mr. Clentin, the coach, “It’s been an adventure, for sure, but do you know, I am exhausted. It’s a good job it’s half term!”

Mr. Clentin was right, thought the professor. Her PE teacher did look exhausted. Come to that, so did Kim Samrodd, her Language & Literature teacher, the team’s rightback (recently voted one of the world’s pre-eminent football journalists). He too looked like half term holidays coudn’t come soon enough. Perhaps these jolly jaunts to the far far away were asking a little too much of her staff and student. She consoled herself that still, it was all over for the time being and everyone could get back to the routines of the valley for the next few years.

Vi Sullenden wasn’t sure her husband needed his routine back. He’d been getting too many shifts ‘on the QC’ as they called it at the Brewery, or Quality Control; which meant a lot of supping and a long, long hangover. “Do you know, Vi,” said Aleard to his wife on Platform 3, “I’ve still got a blinking hangover from before all this football started. I think it’s time for a change. The QC is a young man’s game, I’m worn out. Couldn’t kick a ball for love nor money in Tumbra.”

Doc Orem, being a lone opium eater with no-one to greet him at the station, was with his friend Aleard when he voiced his potential retirement from the QC, and the Doc felt much the same about chasing the dragon. He would’ve expected to be thinking obsessively now about his medical stash and itching to get a lift home with one of the Ughmirren lads, but in fact found himself too tired to be thinking about all that and grateful for the invitation from Vi to join the Sullenden family for a quiet welcome-home supper.

And back home with another footballing family, the not-so-quiet Tashers, twins Orlo & Nacka were poring over all the memorabilia their older brothers Burus & Onun had collected in the far far away from the various adventures they had had in not winning the Baptism of Fire, the World Cup, or the Cup of Harmony. “Funny,” observed Orlo, the brighter of the two youngsters, “in the programmes and team sheets, it makes you two years older in the Cup of Harmony than it does in the Baptism of Fire.”

“That’s stupid” said Nacka, pretending to be clever, “the Baptism was only a couple of months ago. Anyway, look at this Sarzonia shirt!”

“I want it!” said Orlo, grabbing for the shirt his brother Burus had got in a swap with Stars’ midfielder Clayton Wilson.

“NO!!!” yelled Nacka, “I found it!”

Not entirely untypically, a fist fight broke out between the twins for a claim on the ediraf shirt with the superior wicking, in which various other family members had to intervene to separate them. They were sent to bed early by their furious and heavy-handed mother. “I think I’ll turn in too,” said Onun, “I need a good kip in my own bed”.

“Not coming to the Staves, then?” wondered the old man of the house, Pop Tasher. He was planning to cash in on his two footballing sons newfound popularity in the town and perhaps win a whole night of free drinks in their company. It wasn’t like Onun to turn down an invitation to some underrage drinking.

“Me neither,” said Burus, heading up to his room. Pop Tasher was once again disappointed with his sons, also not entirely untypically. Upstairs he could hear the twins at it again over that damned Sarzonia shirt, and it sounded like Orlo had won. He could hear little Nacka sobbing, “but it’s my precious!”

Pop Tasher headed out to The Staves alone. My precious, he thought; whatever next.

by **TJUN-ia** » Tue Sep 27, 2022 4:14 am

After those Agents of Chaos knocked us out of the IAC, the Jaguars of TJUN-ia finally return to the World Cup Qualifying process with the new rules in effect and everyone ready to try and do some magic again. This process is always chaotic, no matter what you throw at this team, and with Electrum and Vilita acting as gracious hosts this time, nobody knows what this run is going to produce this time. It's the same structure in terms of group sides, 20 games across 22 matchdays against 10 opponents with group winners making it in automatically and the next 2 entering the playoffs. The group we've got is certainly full of both big hitters and interesting names, all of which will certainly make for an interesting tournament overall.

The team itself had gotten some additions as well, as the U21s are currently in limbo with no tournament in sight. The squad of 26 (Starters+T1) was finalised with the addition of new striker Fernandino over 3rd choice CAM Jose Lozano de la Cruz, who is now placed in a reformed Tier 2 alongside side other players including newcomers Ons Moukaddem and Kristina Bay. However, the biggest changes many will notice as this tournament goes on will be right at the top. David Seems and Li Xiu Ying are still the bosses, but Li has committed to only be pitchside during home games whenever possible. Why? Because she and Seems are expecting, with the due date currently expected to be after the WCQ Group Stages. Congratulations are obviously sent to the couple.

Times certainly change, eh? Let's see who we shall play this time and where!

Stadiums and Opponents
Stadium: National Stadium
Location: TJUN-ia City, JB TJUN-ia
Capacity: 74,000

The hallowed halls of TJUN-ian football have always tried to be a fortress for the Blue and Orange, but it was only recently that this revered place became that way. The National Stadium in TJUN-ia City was built to accommodate as many outdoor sporting events as possible and while the football layout can be a bit shallow at times, that doesn't stop 74,000 spectators from repping their WC Team with pride. They are quite welcoming to any and all opposition who play here until foul play emerges in one way or another. This place is the main stadium for both the JagBase and TJUN-ia and many aren't sure if they want to see another Playoff game in this place, the mad celebrations of two years ago and co-hosting IAC15 have certainly made this place feel more respected in the TJUN-ian football world...

Opponents: Tumbra (4/Pot 1) - MD 11 (Away) and MD 22 (Home)
Out of all the nations to get from Pot 1, who we will host on the final day, we end up with Tumbra. You know, the Black Eagles that finished 4th in the last WC despite having to go through the playoffs. You know, the Black Eagles that managed to win a 2nd CE title last year. You know, the Black Eagles are managed by Yuan Zilai and feature two of the pioneers of the fight for equal sporting rights in Trudy Harrison and Stephen Kerr. Hosting this team last is certainly interesting, but the importance of this game shall be determined by the 19 that come before.

Stadium: Beregozera Stadium
Location: Szensky, CSTO Zone
Capacity: 81,000

The largest stadium in use for football for many WCs, "The Lakeside" Stadium is mostly known for Krasnaya Stena, an ultra-like group of supporters who take the game very seriously and who try their best to make the main stadium of the CSTO the hardest place to play in all of TJUN-ia. The national team failed to perform to their expectations when this circus finally came to Szensky during WC85, but better tournaments since have seen a change in opinion from KS, who certainly want their turf to be the fortress of the Jags no matter the opposition. To anyone who must play us in this 81,000-capacity dome of noise, I can only give you one piece of advice: Удачи тебе (Udachi tebe). Good luck to you.

Opponents: Mytanija (19/Pot 2) - MD 10 (Away) and MD 21 (Home)
Our 2nd to last game is against the Pot 2 team, meaning that we will end this entire group stage against the Top 2 seeds - which doesn't sound fun at all. Mytanijia ends up as our Pot 2 team this time, the team who finished bottom of their WC Finals group two years ago and just recently exited the CR in the Quarters. They have a new manager in Dzvezdan Kitanchev but that doesn't mean this team won't be as dangerous as before.

Stadium: Tiankong Stadium
Location: Tiankong, CEA Zone
Capacity: 57,000

Built for the CEA Games and nicknamed by many as "the People's Stadium", Tiankong Stadium has seen a lot of wins for the national team on home soil since it debuted. In fact, this is so obvious that many in the CEA capital like to troll their JB or CSTO friends with jokes about how good this team is whenever they play in front of the smallest crowd out of the original three. 57,000 may not sound like a lot, but the people of Tiankong certainly make up for it all with just how loud they can be and with the team playing great whenever they come here, who knows if this magic can ever run out?!

Opponents: Cabo Azure (60/Pot 4) - MD 8 (Home) and MD 19 (Away)
One of two nations named after Capes in this group, Cabo Azure is certainly the better of the two as a Pot 4 team who only missed the WC last time out in the playoff against Vilita. These guys were actually the ones who knocked Mytanija out of the CR last year, only to lose out in the semis to Graintfjall and ended up getting 3rd. Still, it was a great tournament by Las Maçaricas and you could certainly say that they may be the team to keep an eye on from those behind us.

Stadium: Ke Kahua Pāʻani o Pua Aloalo
Location: Kepu Manu, UO Zone
Capacity: 50,000

The next seven stadiums were all chosen in a random order in terms of who gets to host who, and up first is what is known as Pua Aloalo Stadium in English but shall be referred to by its Hawaiian name - Ke Kahua Pāʻani o Pua Aloalo (or KKPPA). KKPPA is the principal stadium of the UO and of the Manufano Islands and it can change its configuration with ease to accommodate multiple sports. In terms of football, this place can get a bit rowdy at times as both locals and tourists from other parts of the country come out to watch but if you love that sort of thing, then KKPPA is for you.

Opponents: Qasden (80/Pot 5) - MD 2 (Home) and MD 13 (Away)
Qasden is one of the worst teams out of Pot 5 if you believe the rankings, but these Cats certainly have the experience to take on any team on their day. They finished 5th in their WCQ group before skipping the CoH, making a deep run in last year's AOCAF before falling to...Kimi-Suomi? Huh. We think that Icarus Darsten is still the boss so this catfight will certainly be interesting.

Stadium: Zebra Stadium
Location: Toropo/Almadinat, AU Zone
Capacity: 41,000

It may be small and it may not be the main stadium of the AU Zone, but Zebra Stadium is still a cracking venue and one that certainly will be happy to host WC Football. This stadium was built for sports like football and rugby, so it's much closer to the pitch for the fans who come here. And remember, this is the AU - where fan culture is certainly very vibrant - so while it may be small, the crowd factor is certainly going to help this venue feel bigger than it is.

Opponents: Saltstead (95/Pot 6) - MD 3 (Home) and MD 14 (Away)
When the Pot 6 team is also in the Top 100, you know that this group may be a bit tough. Saltstead finished way down in 11th in their group 2 years ago, the same group as Kimi-Suomi by the way, and ever since then... they haven't actually done much? As such, we haven't got an updated team sheet of the Stallions since CAFA Cup III way back 3 years ago. Is Christiane van Åupħen still in charge? Who knows at this point...but still, not a team to be underestimated.

Stadium: Estádio do Pacífico
Location: Rio Pacífico, UAS Zone
Capacity: 47,000

The Estádio do Pacífico is the principal stadium here in the UAS Zone, which certainly explains the Latin flair many will feel when they turn up for a game. While yes, it does have an athletics track and it may feel a bit bare, it has hosted football games quite comfortably and you certainly will expect the fans to bring the atmosphere come game time. Football is almost considered a religion in many parts of the UAS, so the long wait for the Jags to come here won't have a negative effect at all...

Opponents: Ancherion (113/Pot 7) - MD 9 (Away) and MD20 (Home)
Out of all the teams to compete at the last WC, Ancherion was certainly one of them. They managed P8 in their WC group and a group exit at the CE. Managed by Bendegúz Gamberlini, this team can surprise when it wants to so...yeah.

Stadium: Stade de la Victoire
Location: Roi Ville, NAU Zone
Capacity: 81,000

As you would expect, football is very big over in the NAU Zone and there were countless available options for who would host the NAU's game. But, the FA-TJUN-ia opted for Stade de la Victoire in Roi Ville for two key factors - its size and its fans. It's not the main stadium of the region, certainly not, but this place is certainly big enough and 81,000 is certainly a good marker for this team (tied with Beregozera for capacity). But the fans here in Roi Ville have been known to BRING IT when the time comes and when the time comes, they will be ready.

Opponents: Ziwana (146/Pot 8 ) - MD 5 (Away) and MD16 (Home)
OH COME ON! ZIWANA AGAIN?! We were initially happy to see the Akambuku - the Leopards - back as a foe in the WC, as they were the team that knocked us out of that Baptism of Fire long ago, but then we only managed to take one point off them the entire WCQ and now, we finally remembered just how annoying they are. Hopefully, we can actually get some good points on the board against them this time...please?

Stadium: Estadio Universidad Carlandas
Location: Carlandas, UAC Zone
Capacity: 69,000

Located on the campus of UNCA, a university more familiar to those in the NSCAA, EUC is not the main stadium of the UAC Zone, but it certainly fits the bill of a TJUN-ian host. 69,000 is certainly big enough despite being an old stadium, but that history means a different feel once the game day arrives. Fans in these parts are also well known for their passion and dedication to the game, so this old stadium will certainly be rocking when the time comes to welcome the Jags

Opponents: Cap Nord (176/Pot 9) - MD 6 (Away) and MD 17 (Home)
Here's the 2nd Cape team, known simply as Cap Nord! Cap Nord is actually a debutant, their ranking is due to the fact they finished 3rd in the most recent rendition of the Baptism of Fire. They lost out to eventual champions Loyo in the semifinals, so you could certainly say this team has potential. Jon Froseth certainly has this team cooking and considering they reached the Quarters of their debut CE...maybe we should be careful of this Cap.

Stadium: Tallawah Stadium
Location: Port Town/Portuaria, CU Zone
Capacity: 35,000

One of the many stadiums in the CU Zone that doesn't specialise in Cricket, Tallawah Stadium is a modestly-sized arena that will certainly befit hosting games for CU. Sure, it certainly isn't the biggest stadium in the region, but it certainly works for football and that's good enough for the FA. Fans here in the CU love to bring the party no matter what and so, expect the crowd to bring the flavour of the region to the contest here.

Opponents: Talannua (227/Pot 10) - MD 1 (Home) and MD 12 (Away)
The team we get to play first this time around, The Past Lands of Talannua is a nation made up of the stuff Delaclava left behind when they moved to Sonnel not that long ago. William Shore manages the Wild Horses, who managed to make the BoF Quarterfinals before falling to eventual finalists Koronavia. This team has certainly done well with what the Phoenixes left behind in AO (which certainly wasn't much), so who knows what to expect from a team from a literal frontier?

Stadium: Salam Liljamie Stadium
Location: Al Kalifa, ArU Zone
Capacity: 26,000

The smallest stadium out of the 10 in use, Salam Liljamie means "Peace For All" in Arabic and that will sum up the mood here in the ArU when it hosts the first game of the campaign. Many might expect the atmosphere here in Al Kalifa to be less passionate, as the ArU is a more conservative area than most others in TJUN-ia, but that won't be the case. Football is just as big here as anywhere else and the passion these fans can bring can certainly be a surprise to those not in the know.

Opponents: Sixty-ninE X (UR/Pot 11) - MD 4 (Home) and MD 15 (Away)
And finally, we have what could possibly be the most hyped Unranked nation TJUN-ia has ever faced. Sixty-ninE X (or just 69X) have never stepped foot onto the pitch before and yet, a lot of people are very excited at the fact we get to play this team. Why is that? Well, our friends in the NSSCRA can tell us why. This is the nation of Ilya Tsunopin. Yeah, that guy. And if that's any indication of what this football team may be like, then we're in for a hell of a time!

SCHEDULE (Group 9)
MD1: vs Talannua (227) - Tallawah Stadium, Port Town
MD2: @Qasden (80)
-----------------Boot It!-----------------
MD3: vs Saltstead (95) - Zebra Stadium, Toropo
MD4: @Sixty-ninE X (UR)
-----------------Boot It!-----------------
MD5: vs Ziwana (146) - Stade de la Victoire, Roi Ville
MD6: @Cap Nord (176) - SendBank Arena, Stennköping
-----------------Boot It!-----------------
MD7: BYE
MD8: vs Cabo Azure (60) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong
-----------------Boot It!-----------------
MD9: @Ancherion (113)
MD10: vs Mytanija (19) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky
-----------------Boot It!-----------------
MD11: @Tumbra (4)
MD12: @Talannua (227)
-----------------Boot It!-----------------
MD13: vs Qasden (80) - Ke Kahua Pāʻani o Pua Aloalo, Kepu Manu
MD14: @Saltstead (95)
-----------------Boot It!-----------------
MD15: vs Sixty-ninE X (UR) - Salam Liljamie Stadium, Al Kalifa
MD16: @Ziwana (146) - Ziwanicell National Stadium, Birnin-Likulu
-----------------Boot It!-----------------
MD17: vs Cap Nord (176) - Estadio Universidad Carlandas, Carlandas
MD18: BYE
-----------------Boot It!-----------------
MD19: @Cabo Azure (60)
MD20: vs Ancherion (113) - Estádio do Pacífico, Rio Pacífico
-----------------Boot It!-----------------
MD21: @Mytanija (19) - Radnika, Esca
MD22: vs Tumbra (4) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City

by **Hapilopper** » Tue Sep 27, 2022 10:19 am

The Team Hapilopper Headquarters, Hapilopper City
A few days before World Cup 92 Qualifying Match 1: Hapilopper v. Tecoia

One would think that a 37-year old man would be too young to be using a cane to walk. But here was Nathan Ellis, making his first steps into the Team Hapilopper headquarters and into his office in about a year. It had taken him about a year to fully recover from the horrific knee injury he had suffered during the team’s last World Cup match, against Ko-oren, when it just seemed like his knee gave out from the years of use and abuse he had given it. Years from using his knee to take other players out. Years from using his knee in ways that other people could hardly dream of. His knee had cried “enough”, and that was that.

The days, weeks and months that followed were pure hell. Right after blowing out his knee, Nathan hoped he could make a comeback with the national team. But the recovery was slow – much slower than he expected or hoped. For a few months, he sat at his couch in his apartment, watching television and feeling sorry for himself. As time ticked by, so too did any chance of returning as a player. And at one point, he didn’t even want to come back at all, much less as a player. He just wanted to go away and slither off into the background without anyone noticing him.

But then a meeting with Ernie Stevenson and Jerold Dickman changed everything. Ernie convinced Nathan to keep going. Jerold told Nathan he was the reason he could play football, and it was true. Jerold probably would be in and out of any sort of disciplinary situation. He might be in jail right now. But getting to play football on a club level – first in Hapilopper and now in Audioslavia – and getting to play for the national team – was more than enough to convince him to stay on the straight and narrow. And that, and that alone, was enough to convince Nathan to come back.

He saw a lot of himself in Jerold Dickman. Like Jerold, Nathan was a troubled child, and like Jerold, Nathan was in and out of trouble as a kid. But he used football as a way to stay out of trouble. And playing the game helped him use his anger for good, not for criminality.

Nathan thought about that as he sat down in his office for the first time in a year. Sitting on his desk was a list of opponents that Team Hapilopper would face for the upcoming World Cup qualifying cycle. The team had been drawn in group five, and there was but one team ranked higher than Team Hapilopper in the group – Pemecutan, the powerhouse of Mandalanusa, the number seven team in the multiverse. But that would come later.

The first opponents were the Seafarers of Tecoia, another Mandalanusa squad. They had finished fourth in the most recent Baptism of Fire and it seemed like they could be a squad that could present a challenge for the Haps. At least, that’s what Nathan figured.

Nathan was not in the business of looking past opponents, and neither was the rest of Team Hapilopper. They trained just as hard for their opponents, whether it was a side like Pemecutan, a side like Tecoia or a side that had no information, no scouting report, not even a roster to go off of. And Team Hapilopper had faced no shortage of those opponents in the past.

As Nathan was getting situated in his office, his players were getting ready for a training session. Ashley Stanford, who took Nathan’s spot in the number five role, was already raising hell in the clubhouse.

That morning, when trying to get a protein bar from the vending machine, the machine ate her dollar, not spitting back the protein bar she had asked for. And that was enough to set her off. It was the second time she had dealt with an issue with a vending machine, and to her, that was two times too many.

She stormed into the clubhouse, where Toby Bryson, Parker Mathis and Jimmy Huddleston were talking shop, and demanded to know what was going on with the vending machines.

“THIS IS TWICE NOW!” Ashley roared. “I’m sick and tired of my dollars getting eaten up like this!”

“Have you told Dom?” Toby asked. “I mean, either that or put in a shop order or something. I’m sure there’s a sheet somewhere to issue a complaint of some sort. Just fill it out, and you’ll be good.”

Ashley stared at Toby, almost feeling deflated. She was expecting something a little more dramatic and more exciting than filling out a sheet of paper.

“I mean, I’ve tried getting things out of there, and I think others have, and they’re having the same problems you’re having, Stanford,” Toby said. “Hell, Coach Perkins wanted to shoulder-block the damn thing earlier when he was trying to get a soda out of the machine. It’s getting really old.”

After a little bit of discussion, the four walked up to the vending machines, to find Nathan getting just as frustrated.

“Ate my dollar? You son of a bitch, you’re gonna pay!” Nathan snapped at the vending machine. “I want a god damn candy bar!”

And just as the four players got to the vending machines, Nathan discovered a secondary perk to having to walk with a cane. He could use it as a weapon, as a way to conduct a little bit of diplomacy his way. Nathan hauled back with his cane and whacked the vending machine once, twice, and then three times with all his might, smashing the glass in the vending machine.

“Son of a bitch, that’s what you fucking get!” Nathan snapped, not realizing the four players were in the break room with him. “Take my fucking dollar, you son of a bitch!”

Unfortunately for Nathan, the whole headquarters heard the glass shatter. Dom Probst, Thom Perkins and Myrone Rhule, hearing the glass shatter, rushed into the break room to find Nathan cussing the vending machine out with an increased zeal as the time passed. Dom’s first reaction was to have Nathan shot.

His second reaction was to be grateful that the old Nathan Ellis, at least in some form, was back. He was going to have that fire in his eyes on the sideline, and Dom figured that was going to be more than enough to get the rest of the team energized during this World Cup qualifying campaign. If he was going to destroy a vending machine, that was going to be a small price to pay if it mean the team was going to be fired up in the first match.

“OK, gang, see that vending machine?” Dom asked. “That’s going to be Tecoia.”

[Roleplays] :: World Cup 92

[Roleplays] :: World Cup 92

Eternity, Episode 1

WCQ-92 PreMD-1

Boot It!: We Come To You Again!

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