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[Drongonia]

Drongonia to accept up to 5,000 LGBT refugees from Afghanistan following Taliban takeover
Christchurch, Drongonia
August 25, 2021 | Amy Basinger

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Taliban leaders addressed the public from Kabul this week. Photo: // Sky News UK

Despite strong opposition from People's Front as well as the conservative faction of the ruling National Party, Parliament has passed a resolution to allow up to 5,000 at-risk Afghanistani refugees to resettle in Drongonia over the next five years in an unprecedented shakeup of the nation's refugee quota.

Presently, just 250 refugees are accepted into Drongonia per year. This number was previously as high as 5000, but was drastically reduced when Prime Minister English and the National Party came to power in 2017. Additionally, the Ministry of Immigration recently reported that just 12% of all refugees allowed entry into Drongonia since 2018 are from the "Middle East and North Africa" geographic area, with the vast majority being White South African farmers. Additionally, the intake of refugees has been halted by the Government, citing COVID-related concerns.

This, however, is set to change under the new Labour-proposed plan which passed its third reading in Parliament today. The radical plan would raise the refugee quota to 1,500 per year for the next five years, with 1,000 of those refugees being from Afghanistan. The plan also includes rules designed to specifically cater to those most at risk of oppression from the Taliban. Particular at-risk groups mentioned in the new plan are "outspoken women", "anti-Taliban activists", "any individuals who assisted Western nations during the Afghanistan campaign" and "LGBTQ+ individuals". The plan, officially titled as the Refugee Resettlement Bill 2021, passed its third Parliamentary reading 64-56, with its passage owing to several National MPs "going rogue" to vote in favour of the Bill.

Labour leader Sarah Ellice appeared elated as she talked to media outside Parliament today, proclaiming that the passage of this legislation "is a massive win for human rights in both Afghanistan and Drongonia, particularly for vulnerable women and LGBTQ+ people who are being denied the basic right to be who they are." Prime Minister Bill English, who voted against the plan, said in a statement that he was "...shocked and disappointment that my colleagues in the House would vote for legislation designed to completely unwind integral parts of our immigration and security reforms."

Critics of the plan have been quick to highlight that there are no specific provisions pertaining to how the Drongonian Government will receive refugees from Afghanistan, as it is unlikely that the governing Taliban will allow the potential refugees to peacefully leave the country of their own accord, even to board diplomatic flights. Additionally, the shared South Pacific Embassy, where Drongonia's diplomats were located, was evacuated shortly after the US began its troop withdrawal from Afghanistan a fortnight ago.

The shared South Pacific Embassy housed diplomats from Drongonia, Cancolastan, Norcott, New Zealand, Australia and Aushweizland but has been abandoned. The Ministry of Foreign Affairs has not responded to an Official Information Act request from TVDG regarding the potential financial and security costs of equipment and intelligence information left behind during the evacuation. Additionally, the Ministry did not respond to a request for comment regarding the possibility of further emergency evacuations in Afghanistan.

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[Drongonia]

COVID vaccine rollout to be scaled back following less than 30% uptake
Christchurch, Drongonia
September 28, 2021 | David Fitzroy

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Prime Minister English announced the changes to media today, flanked by Ministry of
Health officials. Photo: // TVDG

Prime Minister Bill English, flanked by Minister of Health Leah Driver, Deputy Prime Minister Simon Baker and members of the Ministry of Health's epidemiology team, announced that "radical changes" to the way Drongonia rolls out its COVID-19 vaccinations are on the way.

The most notable change is centred around reducing the amount of online, print, physical, radio and television advertising encouraging Drongonians to be vaccinated. Figures released by the Ministry of Health last week estimate that the "Get Drongonia Vaccinated" advertising campaign has cost almost $250,000,000 since it began earlier in the year. Additionally, no further reminders will be sent to those who have yet to book their vaccination. Since the rollout, every Drongonian who has an address registered with either the Ministry of Health or the Ministry of Social Services has received at least one letter urging them to get vaccinated. Those with a mobile phone number have also been sent an SMS message at least once.

As of September 28 2021, Drongonia has vaccinated just 18.7% of its population against COVID-19, with a further 9.2% of the population either being booked in via the Ministry of Health or a GP to be vaccinated or having had their initial vaccination deferred for medical reasons. This means that the majority of Drongonians will likely remain unvaccinated against COVID-19 and its variants for the foreseeable future, unless the Government changes its vaccination plans to include a wider scope of mandatory vaccination roles.

Initially, the Government had aimed to have 75% of the adult population vaccinated by Christmas, with the ultimate 85% target aimed to be reached near St. Patrick's Day 2022. As of today, the Government has abandoned the targets and is instead urging individuals who believe themselves to be at risk of COVID, or who would simply like to be vaccinated, to come forward and book an appointment at their a vaccination centre or their local General Practitioner.

Drongonia's vaccine rollout has been labelled by opposition parties as "a complete failure", with Labour's Sarah Ellice saying that the rollout was "a complete joke." Ellice went on to tell host of NRD's morning show, Michael Wilson, that "...it [the vaccine] should have been mandatory from the start. Less than 30% vaccination against a deadly virus, where we're using a thoroughly tested vaccine, is simply unacceptable and I implore the Government to change its stance and pull anti-vaxxers into line." It is understood that Ellice has not been vaccinated against COVID-19.

The single-dose Drongonia-developed nCOV-UCR vaccine has a refrigerated shelf life of up to six months, meaning that the Government will soon be forced to make a decision regarding what to do with the excess doses that GPs and vaccination centres are currently holding on to. Ministry of Foreign Affairs spokeswoman Samantha Trapp said in a statement released today that "it seems likely that the unused vaccines will make their way into the Pacific Islands, where they'll almost certain to be used before they expire."

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[Free Stalliongrad]

October 18, 1009 ALB

1 STB

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THE GOVERNMENT CELEBRATES THE VICTORY OF STATE ATHEISM
Fewer and fewer ponies believe in the deification of the Alicorn Princesses. The government declares: "An excellent goal for the complete liberation of the country".

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An old Anti-Princess Mural

Great celebrations took place in the halls of the Supreme Soviet today. In fact, the National Census Office has confirmed that a large part of the population of Stalliongrad has stopped believing in the deification of the former rulers of Severnaya: Princess Celestia and Princess Luna.

Although the ponies of Stalliongrad no longer regarded the two princesses as their rulers after the Revolution, many continued to view them in a form of strange deification that still seems to plague the lands of Equestria.
For many years, in fact, this has been a problem that has been debated many times in the leadership of the Stalliongradian Communist Party and several proposals have been considered to eradicate these old superstitions. From using the iron fist, proposed by Comrade Sinister Serov, to the increase in funds for school education and the intensive teaching of state atheism, wanted by Comrade Altidiya Revoltsova. The latter seems to have prevailed thanks to the activity of Comrade Altidiya Revoltsova within the Supreme Soviet. Activity that has doubled since she was appointed General Secretary of the Party.

Reached by the reporters, Comrade General Secretary said: "I am happy that many more of our comrades have finally been able to open their eyes and abandon the old Equestrian stories. But I am even happier to show that patience pays off and extreme positions have not been used to show the Truth of Socialism.
With 98% of the Stalliongradian population we have achieved another goal left to us by Caramel Marks. The atheization of the proletarian state, in fact, is necessary if we want to stop depending, even if only mentally, on old millenary legends. Because only in this way can each of us make their own egalitarian contribution to build Socialism and help in the World Revolution".

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Picture of: Ulyanovetz

[Graintfjall]

Article from the news magazine The New Week National Atlantic News Spectating Economist Time Man.

In A Mere Tangy Republic, One Stargazer’s Visit Raises Eyebrows



Kaija Michaelsdóttir making the case for the GANAX Cosmodrome

And what lovely eyebrows they are. Kaija Michaelsdóttir*, Foreign Minister of the White Winter Queendom of Græntfjall and leader of the Progressive Liberal party, is enjoying her moment in the sun. Ahead of the forthcoming Dannin Transport & Innovation Expo, Michaelsdóttir is in tropical Mont Vert, far from the snowbound ice realm from which she hails. Mont Vert, a former Græntfjaller colony, is an island archipelago of palm trees and white sand beaches; during her visit, Michaelsdóttir has visited the street markets, attended the opening of a new primary school, and delivered a speech during which she issued a statement of regret – while stopping short of a long-called-for apology – for Græntfjall’s historic role in the slave trade that once darkened the clear blue skies of these small islands. Tomorrow she will participate in the ribbon-cutting for a new fire station, donated by Græntfjaller Catholic charities, before leaving from Port-à-Princesse International Airport on a journey to the east: to Mertagne, in northern Calania. After several days of light duties enjoying the tropical balm, this is where her real mission will begin. And with it, she will not only seek to open up a new chapter of relations between Græntfjall and Anaia – but also, it is being whispered back home between Hvítursalur opinion-makers, kick off her campaign to become Græntfjall’s next prime minister.

In 2023, Michaelsdóttir led her party to the highest vote share, but in Græntfjall’s mixed system, this still did not translate to the largest share of seats in the Thing, as the Left-slate coalition gained a larger share of FPTP constituency seats. Coming first in the people’s hearts was scant consolation for finishing second overall and being forced to accept a role as junior coalition partners to the Left-slate in government. Though Michaelsdóttir secured the prestigious Foreign Ministry role for herself – a role she had previously filled under the outgoing Blue-Green government of David Austmannsson – many of her party’s priorities were thrown by the wayside. Græntfjall’s subsequent recession – the result, according to various strains of analysis, of either a correct market reaction to socialist overreach by the incoming government, economic sabotage waged by big business to undermine the democratic people’s will, or just the natural fluctuation of the business cycle – further inhibited bold government action.

That changed in 2025, when the Kitaran Crisis broke out on Græntfjall’s southeast border. The brutal civil war that literally pitted sister against brother as Boaz Akongo’s feuding children fought for control of the communist dictatorship Nyowani Kitara severely weakened Zóphonías Juliusson’s government, with his unwillingness to take a side seen as dithering and his repeated calls for an unconditional ceasefire roundly ignored by all parties. 2 million refugees poured over the border, and while Eura freely exerted its military power over the Pavolan subregion, Juliusson remained seized by indecision. The vicious, unhinged racism of Græntfjall’s tabloid press did little favors in presenting a fair and accurate portrait of the true situation on the ground to the Græntfjaller people. It was in this bubbling cauldron that Michaelsdóttir adroitly positioned herself, like a bayleaf surfing a very mixed metaphor. Negotiating a trade deal with Bollonich that ended decades of cold war animosity and included a provision to rehouse hundreds of thousands of refugees, carving out a deal with separatist rebels to deliver Gustav Isaksson, architect of the failed buttbuttination plot against Malik Akongo, to Græntfjaller custody for war crimes trial, and engineering a skilfully cynical PR effort to promote refugee support using Princess Jessika and football star Jason Þórhallursson, Michaelsdóttir’s approval ratings soared as high as Juliusson’s plummeted.

It is with this wave of popular support behind her that she will arrive in Mertagne, where she will attend the Dannin Transport & Innovation Expo. Officially, her mission has two components: first, to initiate discussions between Græntfjall and the nations of Anaia, severally or through the AUNTIE interregional bloc, about trade treaties and economic access agreements; second, to help pitch the GANAX Cosmodrome, which is aiming to become one of the largest commercial spaceflight launch hubs in the Rushmore region. But unofficially, close observers of Michaelsdóttir say, the choice of a transport expo is far from incidental, given her party’s history: it was over the regional infrastructure and transport bill that her support for the Blue-Green government coalition fractured, and transport issues have continued to drive wedges between her Progressive Liberal bloc and her Left-slate partners. Dannin, then, may be a perfect location for Michaelsdóttir to strike the first blow in the 2027 election campaign. Manda Michaelsdóttir [no relation], chief political correspondent for GTV, says: “She’s scheduled to give a speech about gazing to the heavens, but I wouldn’t be surprised if there are some remarks in there that are very much tuned to the audience back home on the ground.”

After decades of economic isolation during the Union years of communist repression, Græntfjall’s economy has rapidly grown in the last three decades, with successive governments seeking to balance removing barriers to trade with retaining hard-won independence. “[Kaija] Michaelsdóttir has always been a zealous free trader,” says Helmút Greppsson of the Snowpiercer Institute, a pro-trade think tank and lobby group. “I think she’d regard this trip as a failure if she didn’t leave having at least got trade talks underway.” Left-slate MT Karolína Svangeirsdóttir urges caution, however: “Anaia is home to some huge and ancient economies. Exposing Græntfjaller industries to an unregulated race to the bottom could be calamitous.” Mr Greppsson’s response was to repeatedly bang his head on his desk and sob into his beard wondering why no one understands trade policy. Háttmark Harbinger economics editor Fjalar Steðjason says Michaelsdóttir may not find an especially receptive audience in Anaia, but still thinks the mission worthwhile. “This is probably more about her being able to campaign on ‘opening up talks’ in the next election than coming home with anything concrete.”

The second part of her visit will see attend the stall for the GANAX Cosmodrome, hosting a drinks reception on Friday evening and participating in a round-table discussion about spaceflight’s role in climate science on Saturday. “Again, it seems very calculated,” says Steðjason. “In Græntfjall, commercial spaceflight is mainly a right-wing obsession, but pitching the meeting in terms of climate change will appeal across the aisle.” Built under the Blue-Green government, the GANAX Cosmodrome at Segulmagnaðirborg has been intended as a commercial launch sight but has thus far failed to attract much interest beyond a few weather satellites. With prices for a single launch in the tens of millions of krónor, expense is certainly one factor; but, according to Sakura Yasumotosdóttir Nakamoto, editor of the tech journal enCrypt, this is still vastly cheaper than developing a native space program. “The pitch for this is really for countries who want independent launches but aren’t willing to invest in a launch site of their own.” Manda Michaelsdóttir says that the Left-slate government have regarded the Cosmodrome as a “white mammoth” and been “determined it should fail”, but with a sunk cost in the tens of billions, there is “substantial political will” among moderate swing voters to see it prosper.

Kaija Michaelsdóttir will not be the only Græntfjaller in attendance at the Expo. A commercial shipping heavyweight that controls the Komodo Channel through the port of Hofvinger and boasts one of the largest shipping hubs in Pavola at the port of Altendalur, Græntfjaller maritime interests have advanced far beyond whaling and scouring for krakens.** Buyers and sellers are sure to flock to the Expo in force to showcase the new class of ultra-large shipping containers Compensators (they’re so big uWu), as well as the TJ-7 Black Knight range of noise cancelling headphones that are 99.9% effective in drowning out the whining of environmental protestors. Adela Jónsdóttir, Mayor of Altendalur City, will also be in attendance, as poor air quality remains an ongoing concern in her city, locus of the infamous Junction Of A Thousand Honks road interchange. Rail enthusiasts will also be in attendance although the Græntfjaller government will try desperately to pretend they have no association with them. But it is sure to be Michaelsdóttir’s visit who raises the most interest – and, potentially, signals the start of a new election season.

* Kaija married during the events of World Cup 89, but Græntfjall’s patronymic naming system mean women rarely change their surnames.
** There. I said the line. Now let’s move on.

[Drongonia]

Official Information Act request reveals Drongonia's poor trans healthcare coverage
Nelson, Drongonia
December 19, 2021 | Emma Clark

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Map showing available treatments for trans patients. Photo: // Ministry of Health

Trans rights activist David Klein has revealed to TVDG that he submitted an Official Information Act request to the Ministry of Health last week to inquire about the state of transgender healthcare availability across the country, and he says the results are worse than he imagined.

The 30-page report details which treatments are available to transgender patients in each District Health Authority. In just three of country's nine DHAs, patients may be self diagnosed as transgender and receive treatment accordingly. In the Nelson, Dunedin and Southern DHAs, patients may present as transgender upon their first consultation. In all other DHAs barring English Island, patients must be formally diagnosed with gender dysphoria or another related mental illness before the process of treatment as a transgender person may begin.

English Island DHA does not recognise transgender individuals by their chosen name, gender or sex, instead defaulting to the information on their birth certificate and childhood medical records. Additionally, no government-provided trans-specific mental health support is available in English Island. Trans people wishing to seek these treatments while living in English Island must either seek private medical care or apply to the neighbouring Southern District Health Authority.

In Christchurch, transgender people have access to both trans-specific psychiatric assistance and hormone replacement therapy, however, HRT is only available with the approval of two doctors, and is not permitted to be prescribed to anyone under the age of 21. Additionally, Christchurch DHA only provides up to $25,000 in subsidised hormone treatments per year. Pharmacists in Christchurch are also legally permitted to refuse to honour prescriptions for hormone replacement therapy based on their personal beliefs, provided their employer has given them permission.

Hormone replacement therapy is not available in the Northern, Central, West Coast, Southwest or English Island District Health Authority areas. Individuals in all of these areas barring English Island must seek assistance from a private healthcare provider or seek medication from a neighbouring District Health Authority. In English Island, however, a recent decision by DHA board members has meant that hormone replacement drugs have been banned from supply and sale within its DHA borders, meaning that anyone seeking HRT treatment must travel to Invercargill to receive their hormones.

Earlier this year in both Nelson and Dunedin, District Health Authority boards voted to provide unlimited hormone treatments and gender-affirming sexual reassignment surgery. Additionally, both District Health Authorities provide subsidised treatment options for those located outside the DHA borders, if they do not have access to the treatments in their own areas. It is understood that Southern DHA's board will be voting on the issue in January 2022, with experts unsure whether the proposed changes will pass through the largely politically moderate board.

In November, Christchurch DHA voted on a proposed set of changes to HRT restrictions which would have removed the $25,000 per year limit and allowed over 18s access to the drugs, but the changes failed to pass through the board, being voted against 9-10 with one abstention.

The Ministry of Health released a statement today confirming that while they are neutral on the issue of District Health Authorities providing advanced transgender treatments, they will liaise with both DHAs to assist them in importing and certifying the safety of any medical equipment or medications that they may require as part of the delivery of the treatments.

Minister of Health Leah Driver was unavailable for comment on the report in question.

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[Varenskjyr]

The Independent March is an independent publication run by the Democratic Front to document the political crimes and human rights abuses of the Federated Republic of Varenskjyr. Based in the United Kingdom, the Independent March has reported on arbitrary detainments, political arrests, and acts of military brutality for over ten years. Made up of political exiles and refugees, members of the Independent March continue to fight for the hopes of an independent and democratic Varenskjyr. If you would like to support this publication and the efforts in bringing democracy to Varenskjyr, consider donating to our Patreon.

Communications restored in the Federated Republic of Varenskjyr

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1.11.22 - 20:12

Citizens of Varenskjyr were finally able to send outside, international communications following over a year of blackouts and border stoppages. Over a year ago, the Varenskjyrian Civil War took a dangerous turn when the Premier of Skjyrlund, Gunnar Hadradason, led an attempted coup against Komidant Hjalmar Urzutkilsik. The coup failed, and Hadradson's men were forced into the countryside. Known as the Skjyrlund Liberation Front (SLF), the organization has stated its main goals are to oust Komidant Urzutkilsik and to establish an independent state in Skjyrlund. Since the inception of the Republic, Skjyrlund has typically been seen as a bastion for pro-regime loyalists, and the emergence of an anti-party force is unprecedented. Since that time, Komidant Urzutkilsik initiated a massive effort to curtail insurgent efforts. Internet communications were cut. Mobile and phone channels were blocked. Land and sea borders, save for key trade shipments, were completely closed. But now, as of January 11, 2022, these channels have opened once more and we at the Democratic Front will be giving you many key stories that have emerged since the silence of April 14, 2021.

Stay tuned.

[Drongonia]

Govt-owned National Bank to absorb Southern Savings Bank in $550bn acquisition, become nation's largest
Nelson, Drongonia
January 12, 2022 | Edward Rice

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A night shot of the National Bank Centre, central Christchurch. Photo: // Peaker/EricHallPhotos

Officials at the Commerce Commission have given the green light to the largest ever merger in Drongonia's corporate history, with the government-owned National Bank agreeing to a $551.27bn acquisition of the country's 6th largest financial services provider, Southern Savings Bank.

Southern Savings Bank currently has an asset base of just over $502 billion, constituting approximately 9% of all of the assets currently held by banks in Drongonia. When combined with National Bank's $1.1tn asset base, the megabank will hold almost 30% of Drongonia's banked assets, totalling approximately $1.6tn of the $5.6tn held as of December 2021. This eclipses Drongonia's current largest bank, Westpac, which holds $1.19 trillion worth of assets or 21.25% of the country's total.

Under the terms of the merger, the usage of the SSB brand will continue for a minimum period of twelve months, and the employment contracts of its staff will continue for a minimum period of two years. Additionally, SSB executives will join the National Bank board of directors as well as fill several vacant executive positions, however, the details of their exact placements have yet to be made public.

The merger plan was presented to the Commerce Commission in early October 2021, with a panel consisting of business experts, economists, banking industry specialists and social science academics - assessing the potential effects of the move. After deliberation, plan adjustments and a 14-day public consultation period, the merger was approved yesterday with the Commerce Commission releasing a statement saying "the assessing panel are satisfied that given the measures in place, the plan will not create significant negative changes in either Drongonia's economy or its wider society."

Some critics, however, are considering contesting the decision in court. Libertarian Party leader Sean Davidson said in an interview on TVDG's Breakfast, "..the ComCom [Commerce Commission]'s decision to allow the merger to go ahead is just insane and quite frankly dangerous. Putting the government in charge of 30% of the country's [bank] assets is absolutely ludicrous. Only the forces of the free market can keep competition healthy." Later on the same show, head of the neoliberal Future Focus think-tank Pushra Singh conceded that the current market "created some issues with debt" but asserted that "socialism is most certainly not the answer."

Over the past five years, Southern Savings Bank has reported a total net loss of $10.2bn, which experts say is largely due to the comparatively high risk exposure that SSB uses to provide high short-term gains for its term deposit holders. In contrast, National Bank has reported a year-on-year gain in profits every year since 2011, with the bank raking in a bumper $11.81bn profit last year alone - one of its highest on record.

In addition to the approximately $1.6 trillion in combined assets, the two banks combined represent over 35% of the personal banking market, totaling approximately 11.7 million customers.

The PR departments of both banks have been relatively quiet on the merger, with neither releasing a statement on it yet. However, industry insiders have suggested to TVDG that there will be a joint statement issued next Monday.

SSB shares were up 10.2% to $9.05 following the announcement, closing at $8.84 at the end of trade.

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[Jauharius]

FedTel is committed to helping the government speed up the implementation of 5G

FedTel, a global leader in the telecommunications industry, is committed to assisting the government in accelerating the implementation of the 5G network through its strong portfolio this year. FedTel's Managing Director for Jauharius Adam Denley said the company offered comprehensive solutions in 5G implementation around the world and was keen to offer technology and services to speed up the 5G process in the country.

“We have four main portfolios, namely mobile networks, network infrastructure comprising three sub -portfolios, cloud network services, and FedTel technology. “To enable 5G to be fully operational, you need a base station or radio access network (RAN) that is also under our mobile network portfolio. FedTel has all these aspects so that customers can make 5G fully operational, ”he told Evening Telegraph.

Adam Denley said the successful implementation of the 5G network did not only include the delivery of critical infrastructure for consumer services but also involved business digitization. "In fact, for us, this aspect is very important to enable a country to be more competitive in attracting more investors with world-class infrastructure.

"We are also confident of having the technology to offer to Jauharius to make it more competitive in order to generate more investment," he said. Adam Denley said FedTel had also seen strong growth in its fixed network solutions offerings over the past two years following the emergence of a global pandemic. "Our focus for the year is to enhance our fixed network solutions offerings as well as looking to provide better mobile network solutions given our very strong portfolio in both areas," he said.

Commenting on the implementation of the Single Wireless Network (SWN) model for the implementation of 5G, Adam Denley said FedTel was ready to support any government decision. “I am not sure what the government's decision will be on the SWN approach. We leave the matter to the government as this needs to involve expert study in terms of the uniqueness that the country possesses. "Our main focus is more on supporting customers to use our latest technology and will continue to provide the best support and service to them," he said

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[Zaambate Te Ahaa]

The announcements would be broadcast in a variety of ways every day; town criers, loud speakers, TVs and radios and even the odd internet connection was how the people of Aháà stayed appraised of the situation as it unfolded around them. Once, a week or so ago, the king, or Nkolé, Drazhaan Kelbon, had shilled out to make an international declaration on the world stage about the state of Aháà, and now again the Nkolé-to-be would address his nation and those across the world on international broadcast. This time, he wore a suit and tie, abandoning the fine robes in which he first appeared; the suit was lined with gold however, in chains, broachs, and buttons. His beard again was tied up in a scarab broach, and his hair rested contained in an indigo headscarf.

"Faxala hòna, my countrymen and my fellow humans, leader and citizen alike. I am Drazhaan Kelbon of the House Takani, the current consideration for Mfusi-Nkolé. When first I addressed the world, it was to announce my victory. Today, I announce a cessation of fighting in most areas of the country. An active holdout of fascist supporters still exists on Christmas Island, but will be quick to surrender, and once they have they will be processed by the Revolutionary Tribunal and sent to their ultimate fate. It is my pleasure to announce, that many already have; hundreds of former loyalists to the Höhenzollern-Xuigebo have stood trial and been vetted and those found innocent of certain crimes will be welcomed back into Aháàng society. They will be reintegrated into life in the citizenry, the clergy, the nobility, the markets, and all places else, and life will return to normal for them and for us. Many have already been found innocent of warcrimes, and have returned to their homes and families."

"Those found guilty of the least severe of certain crimes will be given a brief period of rehabilitation in a Loyalist Rehabilitation Center, where they will then be considered for release or serfdom. The greatest of offenders who are not put to death will be granted serfdom, likely for life. The Tribunal is working swiftly and efficiently to punish those who brought hatred and death to our nation, and to liberate all others from their twisted ideologies. Yet, Christmas Island is not the only holdout. As some news outlets have reported," news outlet being a very generous term for what Aháà had most readily available. "A group of loyalists have taken up residence in the Temple of Vodan in the jungles near Weshu. I have not much to say, but I will be firm; the Temple has forbidden violence within their sanctum until such a time as Revolutionary lives are in direct harm, and therefor the temple has been blockaded by Revolutionary forces to attempt to peaceably remove the loyalists. We are currently reviewing all options, as the removal of these loyalists is paramount to the restoration of peace in Zaambate Té Aháà."

"In lighter news, today will commence the International Baseball Slam, and among the first teams playing are our very own Aháàng Excellencies. Tune in for the broadcast tonight hosted by the Broadcasting Guild's own Tíupeo to support our bold heros as they represent us, our hopes and dreams, on the international stage. They will be facing the home team in beautiful Milennium Stadium in Adaikes. Equally as nice, we have submitted an application for the 16th Winter Olympics and expect to hear back shortly. We have entered into a trade agreement with Southeast Marajarbia, and trade is beginning to flourish in our nation again, and will continue to do so as I negotiate more and more deals."

"Stocks are rising in our nation. Our life and culture is breathing again, and income returns to the pockets of the Aháàng as we are liberated from the yoke of the Höhenzollern-Xuigebo. As the fascist grip loosens, our economy, our way of life blossoms in the beautiful spring of the House Takani. My coronation will come soon; my policies have proven to the relevant bodies my true aptitude in the governance of Zaambate Té Aháà, and I hope to only embolden and enforce the road we take to prosperity. I pray for you all, I thank you for your time, and I bid you peace." The broadcast would fade, slowly, from eyes and ears as a lone trumpeteer crooned a slow melody, which too faded slowly into silence. We now return to your regularly scheduled programming.

[Jauharius]

J-TV is SoccerView's broadcaster partner for the 2022 Jauharius League soccer match

Jauharius have the opportunity to watch live broadcasts of the Jauharius League 2022 Soccer matches brought to you by Jauharius TV Corp. (J-TV). J-TV, a broadcasting agency under the Ministry of Communications and Multimedia (MOCM) was selected as the Jauharius League 2022 Soccer broadcaster partner through a collaboration between J-TV, TM SoccerView, and the Jauharius Soccer League (Jauharius League).

Communications and Multimedia Minister Mr. Neil Harding said J-TV would broadcast live broadcasts of selected Soccer matches through four platforms, namely Link One, Link Sport HD, JTV 247, and J-TV Clouds.

"The need for J-TV as a local Soccer broadcaster partner will enable every team in the Jauharius League to get live coverage of matches throughout the 2022 season," he said in a press conference after the launch of J-TV as a SoccerView broadcaster partner for the Jauharius League 2022, here on Wednesday.

Harding said through the collaboration formed, J-TV would be able to carry out its social responsibility as a broadcaster partner for government-owned non-pay stations to provide free broadcasts to all Jauharian, especially to those who did not have access to paid broadcasts.

Meanwhile, Harding said companies in Jauharius that generate high income should work together to help the development of local Soccer. “I think there are many more private companies out there that are actually capable of coming forward and making a meaningful contribution to the development of Jauharius Soccer.

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- Federal Agency Of Wildlife Preservation Dir. General retired

[Drongonia]

Drongonians feeling the pinch as petrol prices near $2
Nelson, Drongonia
March 14, 2022 | Edward Rice

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A Mobil station in Invercargill, where 98 is now well over $2.30/L. Photo: // Peaker/@TheUnrealFatSunny

Drongonians are feeling the pain at the pump as the Government released its weekly findings on the average fuel price nationwide. The Ministry of Transport has been monitoring the price of petrol since 1998, when 91 was $0.88/L and diesel was $0.57/L.

The data, released by the Ministry of Transport this morning, shows that the average price of unleaded 91 petrol rose to $1.98/L - a trend that hasn't been seen since the 2008 global financial crisis. The data also shows 95 octane petrol hitting an average price of $2.15 and 98 going for $2.32/L. The report's data is also predicting that 98 will hit $2.50 per litre by the end of next month if prices continue rising at the current rate.

Petrol prices have been steadily rising in the Oceanic region over the past six months, particularly in New Zealand, where motorists are paying as much as $2.30DG for 91 ($3.30NZD). Today, the New Zealand Government announced that it is removing 25 cents per litre of its excise tax from midnight tonight in a desperate bid to fight the rising prices.

Economists in Drongonia have largely pinned the rising prices on higher than normal levels of inflation, as well as worldwide supply chain disruption due to COVID-19. However, some have been quick to point out that for every litre of petrol sold in Drongonia, the government takes a slice of the profits. The National Transport Levy, originally introduced in 1994 at a rate of $0.10 per litre, now takes $0.35 per litre. The levy's rate of collection was first changed in 1999 by the outgoing Labour Government to $0.175 per litre, with the Blackwell National Government raising the levy to $0.20 per litre in 2007. The levy was increased twice by the previous Labour Government, first in 2011 and again in 2014, to $0.28 per litre and $0.33 per litre respectively. In 2018, the current Government increased the levy modestly to the current rate of $0.35 per litre. The current government has shelved proposals to increase the levy to $0.40 per litre by 2025. This is all on top of the GST applied to all products sold in Drongonia.

CEO of Drongonian National Petroleum, Richard Sandringham, said that his company and others in the market are "not to blame for these increases in price." In an interview with TVDG's Breakfast, Sandringham said that the root cause of the price increases is "totally international in nature, and not really something that you or I or even the government can control." He later remarked, however, that "...the tax certainly doesn't help." DNP operates both the brand-name DNP petrol stations and the smaller Option! discount self-serve chain of petrol stations.

The Automobile Association published figures predicting that by the end of 2022, the price of regular 91 petrol could be as high as $3 per litre if no action is taken by industry or the Government. Their figures also suggested that 98 may surge as high as $3.50 within the same period. However, a report released alongside the figures suggests this is unlikely as the global petroleum supply chain is likely to somewhat catch up with demand by the end of the year, meaning that prices may start to decline, or at least plateau, by mid-year.

Average 91 octane petrol price* per litre in Christchurch by brand:
Data published by the Automobile Association - March 14 2022
$2.047 Mobil
$2.029 Shell
$1.999 DNP
$1.997 BP
$1.899 Option!
$1.877 Pak n' Save Fuel
*No discounts or loyalty schemes applied

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[Drongonia]

Navy operation intercepts NZ gang's 400kg of heroin off D'Urville coast
Nelson, Drongonia
June 1, 2022 | Katrina Scott

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The Navy-led bust was made on Tuesday. Photo: // Peaker/@DDF

Drongonia's Domestic Navy Command celebrated today after confirming the interception of one of the largest single drug shipments in over three years.

The interception, which took place off the northern coast of the D'Urville Islands, is believed to have been linked to a wider all-of-Government crackdown on New Zealand-based gangs' efforts to traffic drugs and firearms into Drongonia.

Domestic Commander of the Drongonian Navy, Chris Redding, said on TVDG's Breakfast that he is "incredibly proud of the efforts" of his force as the DNC celebrates its third successful drug bust in as many weeks. This bust is the latest in many designed to stamp out the attempted smuggling of drugs and firearms into Drongonia by the Mongrel Mob, Black Power and Killa Beez gangs of New Zealand origin. The bust is said to have involved members of the Navy, Drongonian Customs, Police and the DSSB.

The bust consisted of over $1 million cash in both Drongonian and New Zealand dollars, 406kg of heroin, and several illegal handguns as well as ammunition and body armour. Navy officials said that the vessel was believed to be heading towards Freedom Bay, signalling a change as New Zealand-based gangs traditionally attempt to smuggle illicit goods through the busy Nelson Port and Nelson International Airport.

The vessel and its contents are also believed to have belonged to the Mongrel Mob, New Zealand's largest street gang. Last month, Police arrested 3 Mongrel Mob members in Norcott Point after members of the public reported a bright red car driving erratically around the usually quiet town square area. During the traffic stop, police seized 22kg of methamphetamine and six illegal firearms.

Police and intelligence agencies have been leading a combined effort, involving Customs, border security, immigration officials, and New Zealand's Police to stop gang members from entering Drongonia both illegally and through the border. Prime Minister Bill English spoke about the issue during Monday's traditional weekly briefing, commenting that "...these gang members from New Zealand, mobsters or whatever they call themselves - they're not the type you want in your country. They're all cut from the same cloth and they're just a group of criminal thugs who really don't belong in a country like Drongonia."

Ten people, all confirmed to be New Zealand nationals, were arrested during the bust and will be appear in the Nelson District Court later this week on a variety of charges. Legal experts believe that the group is likely to be tried in Drongonia before being deported to New Zealand where they will be re-tried with evidence supplied by the Drongonian Government.

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[Akhanda Bharata]

Havoc on Border! Call for Re-Informants!
Scaly-looking so-called refugee tried to sneak into glorious Bharat
Source of the story is "THE GOVERNMENT NEWSPAPER OF AKHANDA BHARATA", official publication of Jai Bharat Party of Bharat. Journalist is Ajesh Rudra Ajesh Pillai, Jr (13 yr old)

NISHABAD BORDER POST, BALOCHISTAN - Many dirty and foul-smelling refugee today besiged Nishabad Barder Post and other place along west border of glorious Republic of Akhanda Bharata, our sacred Mother Land and home of our people. It was sad site for Bhartis this morning, when parts of border fence begin to crumble under sustainable bombardment of so-called 'refugee' fist and kicks. According to my friend's brother's wife's father some carry open bombs in their turbin, and it is not stretch to believe such!

Thus was much relief when Glorious Leader of Bharat, Sureshni Pillai, PM, order air strike on refugee positions. She announce today via virtual speech (due to continuing COVID risk): "Foreign leader might accuse us of "overr-acting" but threat to Bharat is threat to all that is good and sacred: must be stopped at ALL costs!" Thus in her genius does my mother explain why she did what was right and protected all Bharatis like myself from overrunning stampeed of foreigner.

Reaction from abroad continue to pore in, but we might be go to war with Iran soon. Army had been placed on High Alert tonite, but it is certain well be victorious anyway.

[Coliantia]

Cargo ship near Fichika attacked by pirates
A News Report by the Sulchi Times, Published on June 25, 2022

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FICHIKA, Coliantia -- Twenty-one pirates from China have attacked a cargo ship near Fichika this morning, according to a press announcement by the Government of Coliantia.

According to the announcement, the cargo ship, CS Mifichi, left the Port of Fichika at 5:15 in the morning, en route to Busan, South Korea. Fifteen minutes after the ship’s departure, twenty-one pirates of Chinese descent, armed with assault rifles, boarded the ship from a smaller watercraft and held sixteen crew members hostage, demanding that the commander of the ship be captured by them and the ship be handed to and controlled by the pirates.

The crew of the ship called the Fichika Police Department (FPD), reporting the hostage and the attack. Twenty-five minutes later, a group of elite policemen landed at the cargo ship via helicopter. A firefight ensued between the pirates and the policemen, killing eleven of the pirates and three of the policemen. After reportedly seven minutes of gunfire, the pirates surrendered and were arrested.

Following the attack, President Ben Mukturi commended the FPD for their alertness and the three fallen policemen for their courage and sacrifice. The Coliantian Armed Forces also made a statement, expressing their desire to form a coast guard branch for the armed forces in order to "strengthen the country's capabilities to fend off pirates and other threats to Coliantian peace."

[Vangaziland]

Star Brigade In, Conscript Service Out

“Mark this year”, said Emperor Helios Vang in front of a crowd of 38,000 people, “as a year of change. A new Vangaziland. The ending of a prior way of life. The start of a different future.”

Many say the speech may go down as one of the most important in Vannish history. Emperor Vang mentioned changes which forecast a shift in Vannish policy. The two most notable divergences are the end of mandatory military service for Vangazi men and women along with a formal end to the Conscript Corps. There is also a new branch to the Vannish military, known as the Star Brigade.

“Our policy of conscription goes back to the early 18th century”, the Emperor said. “It has made our people tough, resilient, disciplined. These facets of the Vangazi person will not change. They are embedded in both our spiritual soul and our flesh and blood DNA.”

“Actions being formalized today, which have been in process for several years already, will have an impact on Vannish life as far away as the 28th century.” The Emperor juxtaposed the past with the far future as he introduced plans for the new space based military branch.

Several early projects were mentioned. Assets of Vangaziland Aerospace aka the Vannish Space Agency, will be transferred to the Star Brigade. Equipment, facilities and personnel currently rostered with the Vannish Air Force will also become Star Brigade assets.

The main focus appeared to be a satellite network designed to intercept ICBM launches and aggressor spacecraft. “We live in a world where threatening nations field shuttle based space lasers set to bring nuclear superiority to their sphere of influence”, said Major General Alyssa ‘Brick’ Brinkerton, commanding general of Star Brigade.

Lasers capable of split second strikes of focused energy will form a grid, to be expanded upon over the next decade. The first few satellites are already in place, recently declassified. These first few systems will become a globe watching network reinforced by one to three semi-autonomous drone spacecraft.

The latter are currently testing and will be in place by 2024. Details are classified, though there is word there could be different variants ranging from both laser and rail spike weaponry. These seem focused more on anti-shuttle/anti-spacecraft operations.

These spacecraft are believed to use equipment first engineered for the ‘Reliquary’ program of space drones designed to clear space junk from the skies. “Military applications for Reliquary program technology is almost guaranteed”, said Vannish Aerospace Administrator Gunnar Rehn. “Our goal at the VA is to progress the peaceful exploration of space. We do so fully understanding the harsh reality of national security.”

Officials also announced that the lunar colony in the early days of development may also have Star Brigade implications. The developing site initially termed ‘Liberty’ was previously billed as a stepping stone for the launch of manned deep space exploration missions.

It should be noted that the Vannish government has never signed any treaty banning the use of WMD’s on the moon.

Resource extraction and lunar study through Vannish Aerospace are still two other important missions of Liberty Colony. Facilities currently include two construction based rover drones and the dropped prerequisites for establishing oxygen and water supply equipment. Massive tanks will be connected to future habitats. Equipment for building those structures will arrive later in the year. The first manned mission to the moon in four decades is planned in late July.

Vannish Galacticnauts will work with automated equipment to begin building the facilities, a process which will take many years. This will include building a biodome that will begin growing food when connected to oxygen and water supplies. Step one will simply be setting up each of the stores and reservoirs. Launches dropping the equipment on the surface have been taking place since early last year.

“Vangaziland’s policy of nuclear security will not be threatened by one rogue actor with a laser shuttle”, said Major General Brinkerton about the development of the Star Brigade. “The space based weaponry will also provide a safety net targeting hostile launched ICBMs”, she added.

Tracking aggressor satellites and interception spacecraft will also be an important part to the Vannish network of drones and satellites.

Depictions were released of the interception satellite grid in action.

[Amaurita]

New National Park Open to the Public
Gillingham, Pamlico
Published On: 27 June | Authored By: Miles Sampson

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The new Tidewater National Park was opened to the public today following a ceremony dedicating the park to the former Pamlico Secretary of the Environment, Mr. Fred Willis, who had dedicated his career as Secretary of the Environment to protecting the Tidewater Region in the State of Pamlico. Several high profile figures within the State of Pamlico, including Governor Kim Langston and current Pamlico Environmental Secretary Jefferson Redding, among several State Senators and State MPs that represent the surrounding region.

A section of wetlands that has been incorporated into
the Tidewater National Park.

The Tidewater National Park was subsequently opened for guests following the conclusion of the dedication ceremony, allowing visitors to admire the quaint beauty of the marshlands, swamps, and wetlands of Amaurita’s newest National Park. Visitors will be permitted to tour the marshes, swamps, and wetlands on all electric riverboats, in addition to hiking within several of the Park’s Forests, camping in designated regions, and other activities inspired by the natural beauty of the region. Visitors will also be able to dine and shop in several on-site restaurants and stores, the proceeds of which will be directed back into keeping the National Park clean and well run.

The Tidewater National Park spans three million square kilometers in the State of Pamlico, covering an extensive section of the planet’s coastlines, lakes, sounds, swamps, wetlands, marshes, and several large forests within the interior. The National Park’s main entrances, of which there are three, are located in Bern, Hanover, and Edwards Counties, respectively, roughly a three hour’s drive from the State Capital in Compton. The Tidewater National Park also features the old Orange Grove Winery, which was once run down and foreclosed following years of ownership by the Sanford Wine Corporation, and has since been purchased and refurbished by the Tidewater Preservation Group, the primary group that has championed the region being transformed into a National Park.

The Tidewater Preservation Group was originally founded as a movement to keep the coastal Tidewater regions of the State clean, after years of pollution. After spending several years cleaning the region, the TPG had successfully lobbied the State of Pamlico to transfer the region into a locally protected preserve, before going before the United States Department of the Interior to lobby the creation of a National Park in the region. After months of careful deliberations and planning, the Tidewater National Park was received official approval last fall, and has now been commissioned as an official part of the National Park System, much to the joy of the TPG.

The recent commissioning of the Tidewater National Park has been met with a wave of positive feedback, as many residents are happy that the natural beauty of the Tidewater Region that they have enjoyed for generations is now almost certain to be continually passed down to future generations, for their enjoyment and marvel. Many residents are also ecstatic about the influx of economic activity that the newly christened park will bring to the region, as money from tourists both domestic and foreign will be a welcome boost to the regional economy. This is in addition to an influx of jobs that the park will bring, as the new park will demand staff such as Rangers, restaurant staff, store employees, maintenance workers, Fish and Game Wardens, among other jobs that the park will indirectly create.

Elsewhere, the recent commissioning of the Tidewater National Park has advocates looking for other regions that may deserve membership in the National Park System. Some of the candidates include the mountainous San Joaquin Valley in central Pomona, the tropical Island paradise Saint Andrews in the West Sagaries, the misty and eerie hills of the Roanoke Valley in Ouachita, or the mighty and beautiful fjords of Omineca. Yet, as environmental activists debate, local and tourist alike find themselves too busy to engage in the debate, as they find themselves fixated on the natural beauty of the Tidewater National Park, the Union’s newest sanctuary for natural beauty.

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[Coliantia]

Coup in Barasila puts radical nationalist Bali Kakatim to presidency, Mukturi states possible second Coliantia-Barasila war
A News Report by the Sulchi Times, Published on June 28, 2022

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Soldiers of Bali Kakatim storming the Jayapura Palace.

SULCHI, Coliantia -- A coup d'etat exploded in Barasila this morning, leading to the arrest of current President Nanal Manayo and his cabinet and the beginning of the presidency of radical nationalist Bali Kakatim.

The coup began at around 7 in the morning, with around 12,000 soldiers, pledging alliegance to Kakatim, attacked the Jayapura Palace, the residency and office of the President and his cabinet, with the mission of arresting Manayo and replacing him with Kakatim. The Presidential Guard challenged the coup of the Kakatim soldiers. However, the Guard was outnumbered, and they were easily defeated. At around noon, Kakatim announced the arrest of Manayo and the beginning of "the presidency that will bring glory to Barasila".

The coup followed after the Coliantian government made an official statement, admitting the war crimes they committed during the Coliantian-Barasilan War and their readiness to face international charges in regards to the crimes.

The coup worried the Coliantian government, because Kakatim, according to an interview before the coup, has a great desire to "avenge Barasila of his struggles and humiliations during the Coliantian War two months ago." According to Kakatim during the interview, "We're not afraid to fight arms again with the Coliantians. We're not afraid to avenge our struggles and our humiliations during the last war. We're not afraid to have another war!"

Following the coup, Coliantian President Mukturi stated in a press conference the possibility of the ignition of a second war between Coliantia and Barasila. Mukturi said in the conference, "The [Barasilan] coup is a threat to peace. We wouldn't want to make war again, but if it requires us to do so in order to resecure peace and harmony in our nation and in Barasila, then we shall."

[Amaurita]

Official Index shows off Amauritan Pride
Antiga, Kalinea
Published On: 28 June | Authored By: Eduardo Gomez

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Pride Month has been consistently celebrated by the LGBT+ Community for generations in the United States. Yet, this year’s pride celebrations seemed to have been extra special for the Amauritan LGBT+ Community. Amauritans celebrated this year's Pride Month with a newfound enthusiasm as the United States was found to be one of the most progressive nations for LGBT+ residents to reside in, according to an international survey regarding the status of LGBT Communities within their respective countries.

Members of the Annual Pride Parade in
downtown San Pedro, Palma

The International LGBT+ Rights Index, created and managed by the government of the Republic of Drongonia, is an index that is designed to analyze the freedoms bestowed upon members of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender communities within their respective nations. The International LGBT+ Index takes into account the civil and political liberties afforded to the LGBT community, as well as the availability of specialized healthcare for LGBT communities, representation of members in the media and political arena, in addition to the stances of the Government and society at large on the LGBT+ community and the issues the community contends with on a day to day basis.

Overall, the United States of Amaurita scored a ranking of 90.3 on the International LGBT+ Rights Index, placing Amaurita in the ‘Transformative’ Category on the index. This ranking places the United States of Amaurita among some of the most progressive and developed nations for LGBT residents. Nations ranked in the ‘Transformative’ category on the Index have afforded their LGBT+ residents extensive civil and political freedoms, specialized healthcare that is widely available and/or affordable to members of the LGBT+ community, permit and encourage adequate representation of the LGBT+ Community within the media and politics, and whose members have the support of society at large.

As of writing, approximately 4.421% of Amauritans are considered members of the LGBT community, or an estimated 748 million Amauritans located in communities across the United States. The LGBT community has made its mark in nearly every corner of the United States, from the streets of Alderney, to beaches at San Pedro and Tekesta, to the bright lights of Los Prados and the scenic mountain ranges of Colorado. This year, in fact, has broken a record for the LGBT+ Community in the United States, as a record 224 Pride Parades and Festivals have occurred throughout the nation, with Parades and festivals occurring in every major city and State capital across the United States.

The LGBT+ Community in the United States has come a long way, as noted by the LBGT+ Memorial Foundation, a sister organization of the Amauritan LGBT Society dedicated to preserving the history of the LBGT+ Community and the LGBT+ Civil Rights movement within the United States. The LGBT+ Memorial Foundation’s Museum, located in the Tohoga Neighborhood of Columbia, holds many items symbolic to the progress made by the LGBT community in Amaurita, such as an original copy of the Supreme Court’s majority opinion in the Baker v. Nelson Case, which legalized same-sex marriage across the United States in 1972, among other important milestones for the Amauritan LGBT+ community.

As this year’s Pride Celebrations begin to wind down, Amauritans across the United States have since begun to reflect on Pride and how it relates to being Amauritan. ”For us in the United States and other member nations of the Federation, we are very fortunate that we have a nation we can be truly free in,” writes Madam President Hannah Corwin, President of the Senate and a member of the Amauritan LGBT Society. ”This nation, this Union, was built on the ideals of freedom and democracy, and the fact that tradition allows members of the LGBT+ Community to be free, I think that’s something special that we can all appreciate.”

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[Amaurita]

Citizens Sweating with Higher Temperatures
Alameda, Mexico
Published On: 30 June | Authored By: Jamison Morales

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Warmer weather is always to be expected come summertime, yet many millions of Amauritans are about to witness this to the extreme. Residents of several States in the southwest find themselves weathering a major heatwave as local temperatures climb into the triple digits, a trend that’s set to continue for through the whole weekend.

Temperatures set to Soar in the Southwest

Residents in the States of Arisona, Mexico, and Mesilla will find themselves sweating under the sun as they square off with soaring temperatures in the region. In Maricopa, Arisona, temperatures are expected to peak at 122 degrees Fahrenheit on Saturday afternoon, set to break a new record. Elsewhere, residents of Alameda, Mexico can expect temperatures as high as 118 degrees Fahrenheit on Friday afternoon, whereas residents of the Pima, Mesilla area can look forward to temperature peaking at 120 degree Fahrenheit on Saturday afternoon. The dramatic heatwave is expected to level off by Tuesday morning, with temperatures slowly declining back to normal levels by the end of Thursday.

The heatwave set to bake the southwest is set to break a local record in terms of high temperatures, yet isn’t the first heatwave the region has had to deal with. High temperatures, especially in the summer, is nothing new to the residents of the Southwest, but this heatwave in particular is truly something else, writes meteorologist John Velasquez, based in the Mexico city of Las Cruces. Average temperatures during late June and early July, Mr. Velasquez noted, usually peak between 95 and 100, on a select few days, with an average daily temperature reading of approximately 85 to 90 degrees. This, overall, means that the Las Cruces region, for example, will experience temperatures almost 21% over the daily mean.

Weather forecasters and local fire and police departments alike advise residents to take extra precautionary steps during a scorcher of a weekend. The Maricopa Police Department issued an advisory statement advising Maricopa residents to reserve as many outdoor activities as possible for the early morning and evening, as well as remaining indoors during the later morning and afternoon. The Maricopa Police Department also issued advisories to stay in the shade, drink plenty of water, and know the signs of heat exhaustion. The City of Maricopa also issued an advisory to the public that bottled water would be available at all municipal buildings, free of charge, for those who need it.

Elsewhere, the Pima Fire Department in Mesilla announced its own, unique, approach to fighting the heat: a waterpark. At the Pima Fire Department headquarters in downtown Pima, a temporary waterpark has been assembled using several water tender trucks, inflatable water rides, as well as several concessions stations. Residents of the City of Pima can enter the ‘waterpark’ free of charge between 0800 and 2200 on Friday, Saturday, and Monday, and between 0800 and 1800 on Sunday. And, to top it all off, all revenues raised at the concessions stands will go directly back into the community via the locally based ‘Helping Hands’ Charity Organization, as the Pima Fire Department confirmed in a tweet yesterday afternoon.

The Mexico National Guard, meanwhile, is gearing up to to take on the heat as well. Governor Kimberly Grisholm of Mexico directed the 111th Sustainment Brigade of the Mexico Army Nationa Guard to help local fire and police departments to distribute supplies such as water and ice to communities across the state. Furthermore, the 615th Medical Brigade of the Army National Guard was directed into the regions of the state that were projected to get hit the hardest, in order to help treat those suffering from heat related ailments, such as heatstroke. The National Guards of Arisona and Mesilla, on the other hand, have yet to be activated, but remain on call in case the need arises.

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[Drongonia]

Road safety campaigners call for stricter speeding fines
Christchurch, Drongonia
July 1, 2022 | Kurt Russel

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Police playfully pull over a 2 year-old
driving her Ford Ranger in Gilroy Bay.

An unusual coalition of the Labour and Green parties, the Drongonian AA, major petrol retailers and road safety advocates have come together in recent days in a co-ordinated attack on what's being called "the Government's lack of action on road safety".

Nathan Harris, Labour's spokesperson for transport, told media at a press conference yesterday that he believes the current infringement system is "hopelessly inadequate for deterring hoons and other dangerous drivers." Critics have also blasted the multi-zone structure of the infringements, which differs from most other countries.

Currently, speeding infringements issued by Police and speed cameras are split into four categories based on four Ministry of Transport-designated road zones, from EF1 to EF4. Under the current system, the maximum penalty for being caught speeding in an EF1 zone, which is the classification used for roads with speed limits above 80km/h, is a $350 fine and the loss of 35/100 demerits. In contrast, EF4 zones, which governs roads with a speed limit below 45km/h, have a maximum penalty of a $1,500 fine and roadside loss of licence.

Harris said during the press conference that "Things need to be simplified. Motorists need to be told that there's no tolerance for dangerous speeds on our roads, no matter whether they're in a CBD or out on the open road." He also said that Drongonia's system is "...archaic and convoluted".

Prime Minister Bill English fronted TVDG's Breakfast this morning for his weekly interview, and when asked, vehemently defended the system. "The current system is fantastic, actually. Why should someone going 110km/h in a 100km/h zone be treated as harshly as someone going 10km/h over in a school zone with kids around? Labour talks about wanting a fairer speeding fine structure - In what world would that be fair?" Prime Minister English went on to defend the low financial penalties for speeding on the open road, arguing that "n this economy, where people are finding it tougher than usual to get by, it'd be quite cruel to start bankrupting them for minor speeding offences like Australia does. Cruel and short-sighted, actually."

In Australia, speeding fines recently increased for all categories, with those driving under 10km/h over the limit being potentially liable for a $260AUD fine. There is no distinction between residential or open roads in Australian transport law.

English went on to further defend the current transport legislation, saying "There will be no change to the system under National. From time to time we'll likely bump up the fines to reflect inflation and the like, but in no way are we going to go along with this nonsense of taking people's licences away for going a bit fast in the countryside. That'd be absolutely ridiculous and I certainly wouldn't want to be seen as supporting that, especially in a car-crazy nation like ours. Imagine being so tone-deaf that you'd propose this rubbish."

Labour and the Green Party, on the other hand, have released a draft policy document detailing the changes that they would make if elected in 2024. Among them includes unifying the infringement structure into one set of fines, changing the threshhold for roadside loss of licence to 30km/h over the limit, and reducing the amount of demerits from 100 to 75 and 35 for restricted and learner drivers respectively.

A survey of over 100,000 of the Drongonian AA's members commissioned in 2021 suggested that of those surveyed, 73% admitted to speeding "at least once per day" during regular driving, with 46% saying that they "speed every time they go on a trip". Furthermore, 88% of the respondents admitted to speeding when they were "late for work/an appointment or otherwise in a rush" Speeding was defined as going more then 5km/h over the posted speed limit at any time.

TVDG's Breakfast held an informal online and SMS poll on the subject this morning, with the results below:
Question Asked: "Do you support speeding fines being universal across the board and increasing to match other countries' such as Australia?"
Yes: 36.1%
No: 63.9%

More information on the infringement structure is available here, via the Police.dg website.

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[Coliantia]

Kakatim arrests members of Barasilan Congress, possibility of war with Coliantia grows larger
A News Report by the Sulchi Times, Published on July 1, 2022

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SULCHI, Coliantia -- Following the coup launched last Tuesday, now Barasilan President Bali Kakatim has arrested all 124 members of the Barasilan Congress this morning with the reason of "corruption charges".

The arrest occurred during the monthly meeting of the Congress, when around 250 soldiers and policemen loyal to Kakatim surrounded the Congress House and demanded the presence of the Speaker of the Congress, Yari Kalitunu. When Kalitunu went outside the House, she was immediately arrested. The soldiers then stormed the House and arrested all 124 members.

After the incident, Kakatim made a live press conference where he stated, "The reason for the arrest are the massive corruption and embezzlement acts of the Congress members." He also stated in the conference for Barasilan citizens to "follow behind my back during this period of struggle."

Kakatim and his followers launched a coup last Tuesday that forcefully placed him in the seat of presidency in Barasila. His motives were to claim full control of the country and "avenge the struggles and humiliations" that the country suffered during the Coliantian-Barasilan War last May.

Since the beginning of the Barasilan crisis in Tuesday, the Coliantian government has made strides to maintain peace and good relations between the two countries. The government has even made plans to send a delegate of around 12 diplomats to discuss a peace treaty and economic cooperation programs between the two nations, but it has since been cancelled. Still, Coliantian President Ben Mukturi expresses the possibility of the state of war being reopened between the two nations. In a press conference he made yesterday, he said, "We want to have peace with the Barasilans, but if that does not work out, and they strike, then we shall bring war."

[Amaurita]

Healthy Lifestyle Law Enacted With Bipartisan Support
Duncan, Colorado
Published On: 2 July | Authored By: Terry Jackson

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Health and fitness advocates across the United States celebrated today as President Andrew H. Cunningham signed the Healthy Lifestyles Act outside the Presidential Mansion in Columbia with numerous health advocates and experts present, after the Healthy Lifestyles Act passed in both houses of Congress with bipartisan support on Friday afternoon.

New Federal Legislation encourages Amauritans to get active
and eat better

The Healthy Lifestyles Act takes into account a series of proposals from health experts from across the United States of Amaurita, that aim to help keep Amauritans living long and healthy lives, while combating problems associated with obesity and overweight. The HLA works to achieve these goals through enacting financial incentives for Amauritans to ‘get active and eat healthy.’ The Healthy Lifestyles Act, otherwise known as the H.L.A, was the brainchild of the Senate Committee on Public Health, and was authored jointly by Senators Francis S. Briggs, a Federal Democrat Senator from Kalinea; and Richard S. Holland, a Democratic-Republican Senator from Flaurita, with significant input from members of the Parliament Committee on Public Health.

The first section of the Healthy Lifestyles Act, HLA Article I, enacts a universal gym membership compensation program for all Amauritans and legal residents, under certain conditions. Under HLA Article I, health insurance providers will be required by Federal Law to cover gym membership costs under the universal basic insurance that is compulsory for all Amauritans to purchase, given the policyholder can prove a minimum of twelve visits a month. However, if the resident can prove that a minimum of twenty-four visits were made, the insurance provider will be legally obligated to offer a rebate equal to the annual cost of the policyholder’s gym membership, in addition to covering the annual costs themselves. Under HLA Article I, this applies to each member of a household, meaning that the whole family can have their gym membership costs waived and even credited under HLA Article I.

Overall, the universal gym membership program enacted under HLA Article I would be estimated to save Amauritans an average of 360 UST annually per person, assuming the minimum number of visits are made monthly. If each person in the household proves a twenty-four gym visits a month, however, the average savings is estimated to double to 720 UST annually per person, for an overall premium reduction of up to 22.50% per adult. For a family of five, the average cost savings could range from 1,800 UST to 3,600 UST, allowing families to save more money than ever before.

The secondary article of the HLA, HLA Article II, aims to combat unhealthy dietary practices, through providing financial incentives for Amauritans to ditch unhealthy foods in favor of more sustainable foods. The Federal Excise Tax, or ‘Sin Tax,’ placed on fast food products, for example, was raised from 6% to 12%, which would raise the overall cost of fast food to deter purchase, on top of existing State sales taxes. The price for a Big Mac Meal from McAllister’s, for example, would rise from 8.48 UST to 8.96 UST, before State sales taxes are applied. Furthermore, HLA Article II enacts incentives for States to drop sales taxes on ‘healthy’ food products, while keeping sales taxes in place for products deemed unhealthy, such as products with artificially high sodium or added sugar contents. HLA Article II would also require products containing large amounts of added sugar, such as sodas, to be labeled with a warning against excess consumption.

As of writing, nearly one in four Amauritans are considered overweight, including one in ten who are obese, according to a national study published by the National Institute for Amauritan Health, or NIAH, a child institute of the Columbia University Hospitals. Dr. Jacob van Rutte, the chairman of the NIAH, notes that ”A national campaign to encourage exercise and healthy dietary patterns would certainly assist in contributing to a downward trend in the national obesity rate.” A falling obesity rate, Dr. van Rutte notes, would ”result in longer and healthier lifespans for the average Amauritan, and would place less strain and costs on the national healthcare system, allowing us to tackle more significant issues.” A smaller strain on the national healthcare system would also result in more efficiency and cost savings for the average Amauritan, in a research study conducted by the Columbia University School of Economics and Business has found.

Not everyone in the United States has backed the HLA, however. Fast Food conglomerate McAllister’s lobbied extensively against the Healthy Lifestyles Act, citing an increase in overhead costs that would get passed down to the consumers. Additionally, soda manufacturers such as the Pemberton and Bradham Corporations, which manufacture the iconic Coca-Cola and Pepsi brands of soda respectively, have made the argument that warning labels infringe upon the companies’ to freely advertise, and have since threatened to file lawsuits against the Federal Government with the HLA now being enacted. Critics of Pemberton and Bradham, however, have refuted these arguments, citing the already existing warnings that are required to be placed on tobacco and alcohol products.

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[Coliantia]

Single-Use Plastic Act passed, most single-use plastic products to be banned by September
A News Report by the Sulchi Times, Published on July 3, 2022

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SULCHI, Coliantia -- After a month of talks within the Congress, President Ben Mukturi has signed this afternoon the Single-Use Plastic Act, which vows to ban most types of single-use plastic products by September 1.

The issue of single-use plastic rose up in the Congress on June 1. It was debated over the Congress before the final draft of the act was given to President Mukturi on June 31, but only signed it three days later.

The act vows to ban most types of single-use plastic products, including straws, cutlery, beverage cups, bags, and polystyrene food containers, replacing it with high-quality materials such as recycled paper, "eco-friendly plastic", reusable bags, and more. Companies and stores around the country are given two months to transition from single-use plastic to these other materials. The government wishes to decrease the usage of single-use plastic by at least 90% by September.

In a press conference after the signing of the act, Environment Minister Noah Itaka said, "This is just one of our many steps in making sure that we maintain and take care of our environment and combat climate change. We vow to take more steps in these routes until we can surely say that we live in a green and healthy Coliantia."

[Drongonia]

Government-funded dental care to be offered from next week
Christchurch, Drongonia
July 4, 2022 | Tony Reeve

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Dental care will now be fully funded in all District Health Authority areas
from next week.

Sweet-toothed Drongonians are set to become far better off as Government-funded dental care is finally coming to pass in Drongonia, 62 years after the creation of the National Health Service from next week.

The Dental Healthcare Amendment Act 2022 passed through Parliament 86-34 in early March, supported by the majority of members from both National and Labour. The Act introduces sweeping reforms in the way Drongonians get access to dental healthcare, including unlimited emergency and elective care for under-18s, and the scrapping of the $1,000 emergency dental assistance grant, replaced by a blanket $5,000 per year dental budget for Drongonian citizens and permanent residents who are already eligible for NHS-funded healthcare.

The scheme will entitle everyone who is already eligible for care under the NHS to $5,000 per year for any dental procedures deemed medically necessary by their GP and dentist, as well as two free dentist visits per year. Under the new system, there will be no upper limit to the amount of work which can be undertaken for emergency reasons, such as emergency pain relief or tooth extraction. Additionally, dental care for under-18s will be expanded to include elective procedures such as braces and night-time aligners, as well as teeth whitening for over-12s.

Over-65s who are retired and have paid taxes for a total of 30 working years or more will receive up to $10,000 in dental subsidies per year, in addition to their two free dentist visits.

The funding is also usable across up to two years, meaning that if someone requires surgery which will cost $7,000, their $5,000 budget for the current year will be used up in full, with the remaining balance being pulled from their next years' allowance.

The current rules governing NHS-funded dental care in Drongonia were originally written in 1960, and last updated in 2003, when the emergency dental health grant was increased from $500 to $1000 per year. Since then, successive Governments have tabled legislation regarding dental care, but none has ever passed its first reading in Parliament. In 2012, the Affordable Dental Act came close, but was defeated 58-62, with critics at the time largely deeming it "unnecessary".

There has been some urgency to this law change. Since 2012, studies have confirmed that Drongonia's dental health is among the worst in the developed world, and that 10% of Drongonians live with dental-related pain due to affordability concerns. Political analysts almost universally agree that this Government does not want a legacy of poor dental health on its governing record.

Prime Minister Bill English spoke at a press conference today, where he went into the troubles he had with dental pain in his 20s, and how he was "luckier than most to get the care I [he] needed, being part of the Defence Force." He then went on to accept that "...the level of care I received at the time, unfortunately, hasn't been available to the hardworking Drongonians who've needed it."

Treasury analysts have estimated that the plan will cost approximately $78bn, with an estimated first-year spend of $2,500 per person. The care itself will be 20% funded by District Health Authorities, with the remaining 80% being paid for by the Ministry of Health.

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[Coliantia]

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