by Kiddian States » Fri May 20, 2022 3:51 pm
by Kiddian States » Fri May 20, 2022 3:52 pm
by Tee Googly Coffee Me » Fri May 20, 2022 6:36 pm
by Kiddian States » Sat May 21, 2022 3:28 am
Tee Googly Coffee Me wrote:Sorry don't have much of anything to add critique wise but I did find the "A recent poll has found that the most common phobia among government officials is xenophobia" very amusing. Good job!
by Verdant Haven » Sat May 21, 2022 5:40 am
by Kiddian States » Sat May 21, 2022 9:56 am
by Catalonia 2070 RP » Sat May 21, 2022 9:58 am
Kiddian States wrote:The Blue @@ANIMAL@@ Diner is rapidly gaining popularity among the residents of @@CAPITAL@@. However, scandal insued when the owner denied service to the @@CAPITAL@@ Times’s chief food critic. @@HIS3@@ reason? Allegedly, the critic bullied @@HIM3@@ in high school. This incident has people questioning when (or if) service should be revoked
Invalid for all nations without capitalism and free press
Option 1
The critic in question, @@RANDOMNAME@@, stands up indignantly. “How dare @@HE2@@ not serve me! I’m just trying to do my job! And who cares if we had a rocky history, that was years ago! Besides, personal issues should have no place in business. Make sure no one is denied service because of personal reasons!”
self-defense teachers are legally required to teach martial arts to those who have beaten them up
Option 2
Celebrity civil rights activist @@RANDOMNAME@@ chimes in. “Frankly, I don’t see why anyone should be refused service. All I’ve seen so far is that it’s a tool of discrimination and petty vengeance. Don’t side with racists, @@LEADER@@! Allow everyone to be served the same, no matter what!”
the government has adopted a “No Shirt, No Shoes, Service Anyway” policy
Option 3
The owner of the Blue @@ANIMAL@@ Diner, @@RANDOMNAME@@, sputters. “Wait, wait, hold on a minute! Are we just going to forget what that jerk did to me? @@HE1@@ doesn’t deserve to eat from my excellent restaurant, especially not after the parking incident! I should be allowed to rescind service from anyone, for whatever reason!” @@HE@@ kicks the chair out from under @@FIRSTNAME1@@. “That’s what you get for graduation!”
People are being denied service for looking at the owner the wrong way
by Kiddian States » Mon May 30, 2022 12:31 pm
by Verdant Haven » Tue May 31, 2022 12:47 pm
by Baggieland » Tue May 31, 2022 9:35 pm
by Kiddian States » Wed Jun 01, 2022 3:56 am
by Kiddian States » Wed Jun 01, 2022 5:00 pm
by Kiddian States » Mon Jun 06, 2022 2:27 pm
by Outer Sparta » Mon Jun 06, 2022 2:53 pm
by Kiddian States » Mon Jun 06, 2022 3:19 pm
Outer Sparta wrote:I'm not even sure why this is an issue. It's basically just someone getting bullied when they were younger. So what? It's not as big of a deal compared to the owner of an establishment refusing service to someone based on their gender, ethnicity, race, or sexual orientation. In a hypothetical, let's say I bullied a Kardashian when I was younger and they refuse to serve me because of that. It's not really news at all and the only ones willing to report it are celebrity gossip tabloids looking for clickbait.
by Outer Sparta » Mon Jun 06, 2022 3:21 pm
Kiddian States wrote:Outer Sparta wrote:I'm not even sure why this is an issue. It's basically just someone getting bullied when they were younger. So what? It's not as big of a deal compared to the owner of an establishment refusing service to someone based on their gender, ethnicity, race, or sexual orientation. In a hypothetical, let's say I bullied a Kardashian when I was younger and they refuse to serve me because of that. It's not really news at all and the only ones willing to report it are celebrity gossip tabloids looking for clickbait.
Well, the bullying is just backstory. It could really be any grudge. The real issue is refusal of service and when it is ok. Like, should you be able to refuse service because of personal issues? Also, these personal issues get in the way of speaker one doing their job. It comes assuming that what you mentioned is not okay.
Also, in my first draft, I mentioned it going from tabloid news to a national argument
by Princess Rainbow Sparkles » Mon Jun 06, 2022 3:25 pm
by Outer Sparta » Mon Jun 06, 2022 3:49 pm
Princess Rainbow Sparkles wrote:Right now Option 1 and Option 2 really aren't different. One says you can't refuse service for "personal reasons" and the other says you can't refuse service for "any reasons". I don't understand how are those two things really different? They seem to have the same ultimate effect: people have to provide service even under outrageous circumstances.
Here is a suggestion that will maybe help: make Option 1 explicitly narrower. Have the critic say something like "Make sure no one is denied service because of petty personal reasons. People should only be refused for really important reasons, like if they're breaking things or trying to start a fire in the kitchen or calling my mother names." (Last one was supposed to be an ironic joke). That way, Option 1 is taking the position that some refusals of service are okay but only in extreme circumstances, and Option 2 is taking the position that refusing service is never okay.
I think you're missing an opportunity to make the Option 3 punchline really smart. I like the set up of Option 3: a sympathetic business owner who was bullied insisting he should be allowed to kick out a person who was mean. But the position is also very extreme. "I should be allowed to rescind service from anyone, for whatever reason." Wow. Okay, lets take that where it goes. Consider a punchline like this: people can be denied service for rolling their eyes at the business owner or for being the wrong race.
Good luck.
BTW I'm sure folks like Outer Sparta are really just trying to help, but FWIW I think this is a good premise for an issue and you're making solid progress.
by Princess Rainbow Sparkles » Mon Jun 06, 2022 3:55 pm
Outer Sparta wrote:Princess Rainbow Sparkles wrote:*snip*
I just think that the issue premise wouldn't really work since getting denied service due to petty childhood bullying isn't really that important compared to getting denied service because of discrimination. The author has to make sure to strengthen it as much as they can or else it doesn't offer as much compared to other issues surrounding a similar theme.
by Kiddian States » Mon Jun 06, 2022 4:43 pm
Princess Rainbow Sparkles wrote:Outer Sparta wrote:I just think that the issue premise wouldn't really work since getting denied service due to petty childhood bullying isn't really that important compared to getting denied service because of discrimination. The author has to make sure to strengthen it as much as they can or else it doesn't offer as much compared to other issues surrounding a similar theme.
Definitely agree with you there. The story needs to do more to explain why some old highschool grudge between a diner owner and a small-town food cricket is making national news.
by Outer Sparta » Mon Jun 06, 2022 5:28 pm
Kiddian States wrote:Princess Rainbow Sparkles wrote:Definitely agree with you there. The story needs to do more to explain why some old highschool grudge between a diner owner and a small-town food cricket is making national news.
It’d be nice if you guys actually read my previous post, but I’ll reiterate
The grudge isn’t the main focus of the issue, it’s whether or not refusing service because of personal reasons is okay. And secondly, the diner is a very popular one and the newspaper is supposed to be a decently major newspaper for the capital city
by Kiddian States » Mon Jun 06, 2022 5:42 pm
Outer Sparta wrote:Kiddian States wrote:It’d be nice if you guys actually read my previous post, but I’ll reiterate
The grudge isn’t the main focus of the issue, it’s whether or not refusing service because of personal reasons is okay. And secondly, the diner is a very popular one and the newspaper is supposed to be a decently major newspaper for the capital city
I've read it, but I am not exactly convinced about refusing service due to personal reasons. Why can't the diner be an upscale, high-end one since usually the ritziest and glitziest of restaurants attract the most attention.
by Princess Rainbow Sparkles » Mon Jun 06, 2022 5:44 pm
Kiddian States wrote:Princess Rainbow Sparkles wrote:Definitely agree with you there. The story needs to do more to explain why some old highschool grudge between a diner owner and a small-town food cricket is making national news.
It’d be nice if you guys actually read my previous post, but I’ll reiterate
The grudge isn’t the main focus of the issue, it’s whether or not refusing service because of personal reasons is okay. And secondly, the diner is a very popular one and the newspaper is supposed to be a decently major newspaper for the capital city
by Kiddian States » Mon Jun 06, 2022 6:00 pm
Princess Rainbow Sparkles wrote:Kiddian States wrote:It’d be nice if you guys actually read my previous post, but I’ll reiterate
The grudge isn’t the main focus of the issue, it’s whether or not refusing service because of personal reasons is okay. And secondly, the diner is a very popular one and the newspaper is supposed to be a decently major newspaper for the capital city
Well, you literally titled your issue focusing on the grudge. So one might think you’d be open to commentary or critique on that.
I’m just a player who might get your issue and either enjoy it or just dismiss it. If you’re not interested in my thoughts about it I’ll just keep them to myself.
by Princess Rainbow Sparkles » Mon Jun 06, 2022 6:11 pm
Kiddian States wrote:Princess Rainbow Sparkles wrote:Well, you literally titled your issue focusing on the grudge. So one might think you’d be open to commentary or critique on that.
I’m just a player who might get your issue and either enjoy it or just dismiss it. If you’re not interested in my thoughts about it I’ll just keep them to myself.
Titles are hard, especially on short notice
I want opinions, just not opinions that come from skimming the issue and locking on to a few phrases
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