[validity] scurvy death rate
[description] Recently, a damning report published by the World Census revealed that @@NAME@@ has one of the highest death rates from scurvy in the world, with the death toll swelling by the day.
[option] "Lemonade? Lemonade, anyone?" calls out a young child running a nearby lemonade stand. "Oh, hey there random person! You’re the first person I’ve seen all day! Running a small business really is tough work, especially when everyone wants to drink some nasty soda instead. You know, since you’re a grown-up you should get the government to encourage everyone to start eating healthy fruits and other stuff, especially stuff sold at my store." She winks and she slides a few coins across the table.
[validity] has coins
[effect] the government is encouraging people to go on citric acid trips
[option] "Lemonade? Lemonade, anyone?" called out a young child running a nearby lemonade stand. "Oh, hey there random person! You’re the first person I’ve seen all day! Running a small business really is tough work, especially when everyone wants to drink some nasty soda instead. You know, since you’re a grown-up you should get the government to encourage everyone to start eating healthy fruits and other stuff, especially stuff sold at my store of course." She winks and places her "Randall Rabbit" debit card in your hand.
[validity] no coins
[effect] the government is encouraging people to go on citric acid trips
[option] "Avast, you rapscallions!" yells pirate enthusiast Mack Swallow, waving a foam cutlass at your face. "Arr, back in the day we sailed the seas perfectly fine without "fruits" and these other wares you’re purveying. We got scurvy and we liked it! Now look at you pathetic landlubbers, taking our precious dubloons to waste it on this! Get them government scallywags out of our bodies and put our money back in our chests, or I’ll make you walk the plank!"
[effect] the news of further budget cuts leaves a sour taste in @@DEMONYMADJ@@ mouths
[option] "Wow @@LEADER@@, this sure is a juicy topic!" giggles your pun-loving Science Advisor. "We have to fight this epidemic, but people aren’t going to paying through the nose for a balanced diet! Luckily, I’ve got an easy peasy lemon squeezey solution for you. What if we just added healthy substances such as Vitamin C into the water supply? That way we can reduce scurvy infection rates and won’t have to look at those disgusting bleeding gums anymore! Orange you glad that you‘ve got a genius like me in charge?"
[effect] tap water is now part of the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ five-a-day