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Paragon Industries (Comedy, Tech - Open) - IC

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Talchyon
Negotiator
 
Posts: 5667
Founded: May 05, 2016
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby Talchyon » Tue May 03, 2022 11:32 am

Heading on to the next site
Grace Henshaw, OSHE inspector and Giovanni Fellini, "businessman"


This inspection of Paragon Industries was taking forever. Grace Henshaw looked at her watch, and was surprised that only a few seconds had gone by since she had left the Black Ops room. Who knew? She could have sworn that several months had dragged out. But no. Just a few seconds. It must be the lack of coffee and the early morning. She put her arm down and watched the scene in front of her, with the half-faced robot doing ninja moves on the hapless employee that had been chasing a robot.

Barapam wrote:
"Er... Okay, sure, I can do that..." KIM replied Grace, the real, O.G. inspector, and merrily went along. They didn't get very far down the hall however, before a Tom & Jerry-esque scene played out in front of them. Not a too unusual sight in this workplace, and KIM was more or less unphased...

...

Now hopefully Mrs. Henshaw was only there to inspect the security of the place, and not the mental toxicity, because KIM proceeded to kick Boris right in the nuts, with a well-placed robotic foot.


The United Penguin Commonwealth wrote:
Barapam wrote:
... that is, until Boris got hold of the Roomba. If he, or the others, thought that the chaos was now over, they were wrong. KIM raised her voice, and pointed violently at the janitor. "Hey! That's assualt! That is assault!" She took a step closer towards Boris, and went on. "You can't just shut a robot off like that! Sweet Robot Jesus Christ! Check your human privilege!"

Now hopefully Mrs. Henshaw was only there to inspect the security of the place, and not the mental toxicity, because KIM proceeded to kick Boris right in the nuts, with a well-placed robotic foot.


Ouch. He made a mental note never to mention the robotics lab within earshot of this thing.
“…Look, it was going to break in half against that…” He looked into the room down the hall.
“lamp? It was severely malfunctioning and the only way to fix it was to… you know. Plus, it’s only a simple wall-detection algorithm attached to an evolving image classifier and some steering code. It cannot be considered a conscious being on its own. You see…” He caught himself before he started explaining the philosophy of consciousness and personhood. It was a fascinating subject, but he didn’t have time. He quickly glared at the robot with a look that he hoped indicated that this was not the time for this. He had no idea if it understood emotional indicators in that level of detail, but he quickly changed the subject anyway.
“Anyway, where are you going next? May I suggest R&D?” He knew one of the people who worked there, and there wasn’t too much dangerous stuff. Plus, there were plenty of things to distract the inspector with while Elliot finished tidying the server room.


The hapless employee had asked where they should go next, and said he knew where they should go. Research and Development. Grace shrugged. "I guess we could go to R&D. Is that close?" She wanted coffee badly.




The hallway
CEO Vanessa Carlyle


The dumbfounded employee had come and would stand guard over the fallen Louise Grazowski, OSHE inspector. Vanessa tuned out everything her employee said to her. It was a skill she had developed on day 1 of being Paragon's CEO, and hadn't lost her touch. Tuning out the words of useless people, otherwise known as "employees" (as specifically defined in every standard Paragon Industries work contract that every employee had signed), Vanessa's mind wandered. She wondered what was on tv that night. Wondered how she might squeeze more dollars out of an unsuspecting public. Wondered how she might squeeze more dollars out of a jaded customer base that wasn't unsuspecting, but still came back to buy their products for some reason. Imagined herself showing up her older sister. Imagined the training regimen her COO, Desmond Morrow went through. And then, without another word, Vanessa just nodded to the employee and said, "Stay here until the EMTs get here and take her to the hospital." And she walked off.

Relieved after having endured so much abuse from Louise Grazowski, Vanessa wanted comfort food, which for her, was some of the hard liquor she kept in the cabinet in her office. She kept a well-stocked bar there, because her sanity at being the Paragon Industries CEO was largely assisted by taking a stiff drink. She wasn't a drunk. She wasn't an alcoholic. But with the amount she downed, any rational person would wonder.

Taking the elevator up to her floor, Vanessa's mind was lost in thought until she got to her office. And then? Mass chaos and confusion! "What the hell is going on here?!" She yelled out at the two employees, one clutching an owl, just as a heavy thud sounded on her desk.
Last edited by Talchyon on Thu May 05, 2022 5:56 am, edited 1 time in total.
I'm OP-ing this one - PARAGON INDUSTRIES - A high tech comedy with the kooks, rejects and psychos who work at the once great tech giant that's fallen on bad times. Check out the IC action here!

Also Young Bloods - the long-running superhero RP that I just joined 164 pages in


Louisianan wrote:Talchyon has great comedic writing, that is true.

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Ameriganastan
Khan of Spam
 
Posts: 51354
Founded: Jul 01, 2008
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby Ameriganastan » Thu May 05, 2022 1:17 am

Tuboo Shippers wrote:Tally, realizing something had to be done, jumped in. "Pardon me miss. This is Ron." She leans in, whispering, "He's weird, but he gets things done. At least he's working on it. This is a prototype."

"Shh, do you hear it? The whispers..."

Ron got uncomfortably close to the inspector and produced a paperweight with a face drawn on it.

"This is Mr. Paperweight. He whispers things to me..."

Clearly a few weeks locked in a lab with no one to talk to but Solomon and Mr. Paperweight had not been kind to Ron's already less than stable psyche.

"A three eyed fish knows all. All shall be revealed when the Frog King returns from the 7th layer of the multiverse...pancakes."

He handed the inspector Mr. Paperweight.

"Let him show you the way."

And with that, Ron proceeded to pass out face first on the floor.
The Incompetent Critic
DENVER BRONCOS fan
Eric Lumen: Ultimate Chad
Force of nature.
The Ameri Train.
The Ameri song
Tsundere Ameri.
HulkAmeri
Ameri goes to court.
Universal Constant
Edward Richtofen wrote:Ameri's so tough that he criticized an Insane Asylum and was promptly let out

Ameri does the impossible.
Fire the Ameri.
Sinovet wrote:Ameri's like Honey badger. He don't give a fuck.

Krazakistan wrote: He is a force of negativity for the sake of negativity

Onocarcass wrote:Trying to change Ameri, is like trying to drag a 2 ton block of lead with your d**k.

Immoren wrote:When Ameri says something is shit it's good and when Ameri says some thing is good it's great. *nods*

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A United Galaxy
Political Columnist
 
Posts: 4
Founded: May 10, 2022
Ex-Nation

Postby A United Galaxy » Wed May 11, 2022 1:18 pm

James House

The alarm clock ringed, James slowly lifted his head up, before he slammed on the Nuclear Fusion Powered Clock, he look at the time, “10:00!” He thought, “I was supposed to be up almost a hour ago!” He quickly jumped out of bed, he hit a button on his bedstand, before robotic arms through a clean suit on him, we’re brushing his teeth, and feeding him toast, he ran to his car, the traffic in the city was horrible and he would never make it in time, he was lucky though, with the 107 being almost completely empty, he made quick time.

As soon as he parked infront of the office building of Paragon Inc. he jumped out of his car, running to the front doors, he brushed his suit off, and then walked into the front door, he was less than slightly amazed at the “Cutting Edge Technology” in the building, but he knew by the end of the day this entire company would actually have cutting edge tech only, especially with his new nuclear fission knife (Cutting Technology Joke), he walked up to the receptionist

“Excuse me, where’s office 193?” The Receptionist look up at him, and handed him a paper, the paper has a small map of the building, after 30 minutes James finally had made his way to his office, he sat down, looked at the 1980’s computer, and decides he might need some better working technology, he decided that he would get new equipment tomorrow, for now he has to start working.

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Barapam
Minister
 
Posts: 2239
Founded: Aug 04, 2014
Father Knows Best State

Postby Barapam » Thu May 12, 2022 7:29 am

A lot of people suddenly felt the need to vent things. Well, two people. Plus a robot. And an owl for some reason. And it wasn't so much that they wanted to vent personal experiences, but rather fall out of them. The vents, that is. Not their experiences. Can you even fall out of an experience? I suppose that depends on how you define "falling out"...

Anyway, KIM didn't know what to do except for following Boris' option № 5. Stand and stare. Up until Ron fainted. KIM then showed a rather atypical act of care, and helped him up. Not for Ron's sake though. In KIM:s eyes, Ron was Solomon's wheelchair, although with a biological sentience. And even a megalomanical machine like KIM knew to show empathy towards the disabled, even if it was her rival in the quest for world dominance.

"Are you okay, Solomon? Any circuits burned?"
"nah man the path to true freedom is tsarist national bolshevik posadist monarchism with Japanese influence as is practised in Barapam." - Vladilan

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