NSSCRA 12- Everything Thread

by **Hapilopper** » Thu Apr 14, 2022 8:24 pm

DRAKE STEVENSON ✓

@HapiDrake81
So, people have walked up to me all weekend asking about the "Big-Ass" event we usually have this year. I have cancelled it this year and I'm not sure I'll hold another one. Thank the Valentians for that and hope you enjoy their Water Festival.

#NSSCRA : #SuperSkychief500

The Stevenson/Henderson house, Poplar Prairie, Hapilopper City
The day after the Sharpe’s Battleship 250
Drake Stevenson was terminally angry as he sat out on the back porch of his house, overlooking the backyard. A backyard large enough to hold a big party. A Big-Ass party, if you will. A party he had just cancelled out of deference to the Valentians inviting everyone to Valentine Z, in the middle of Super Skychief 500 week, for something called a “Water Festival”. When he got word of it, he decided to cancel the “Big-Ass” party and just tell everyone to thank the Valentians for it. But he hadn’t made the cancellation in time enough to inform a couple of vendors, who were arriving at the house on Poplar Prairie with a gigantic order of food and beverages enough to fill the appetites of the NSSCRA community.

Drake could hear the front doorbell ring from the back porch and his anger intensified. Taylor, slightly hung over from the wild partying that came from winning the race the night before, came out to inform Drake the doorbell was ringing.

“Drake, hello?” Taylor tried to say. “Some food guys are here. I think so is the beer man.”

Drake stared straight out into space. It was clear he wasn’t in the mood to socialize. Then he stared out towards Taylor, who realized immediately just how angry Drake really was.

“Tell the vendors to fuck off,” Drake said, calmly, sharply and angrily. “And then tell them, to go over to that stupid fucking portal that the Valentians have set up, and give them the bill.”

“Right,” Taylor blurted out before rushing back to the vendors.

Not too long before, when he was in TJUN-ia, Drake learned of the Water Festival as he was in the midst of planning for the “Big-Ass” party to be held the week of the Super Skychief 500. Throughout the weekend, Drake looked at the invitation and started stewing about it. When the Berman Brothers Classic was postponed due to rain, it put Drake in a very difficult position of having to compete with the Valentians as he was trying to hold a get-together in his own country, while the Valentians were inviting people to hold a larger get-together in their country. So much so that they had gone to the trouble of setting up a portal to get there.

The best way to describe Drake’s feelings was “disrespected.” He felt the Valentians had disrespected him by doing this. After all, it wasn’t exactly a secret that there was something planned in Hapilopper City for the NSSCRA community the week of the race, and that someone, be it Drake Stevenson, Chet Byrd, or whoever, went to a great effort to plan it for everyone. So to find out the Valentians were doing something in their country, inviting the NSSCRA community there, while everyone was in Hapilopper City, was extremely disrespectful to Drake, regardless of if the Valentians meant to offend Drake or not.

In fact, he was so angry about it, that he briefly considered calling Amanda McAlister and telling her that he wasn’t going to Valentine Z for the upcoming Tyrrhenian Heavens 500, and that he would hold the “Big-Ass” event the day of that race, in his backyard. Or maybe he’d hold a “Water Festival” of his own, inviting the children in the neighborhood to play in the sprinklers in his backyard while he fired up the grill.

What angered Drake even more was the fact it was the Valentians. It wasn’t as if this was some group of ne’er-do-wells doing something disrespectful, it was the Valentians, who were among the nicest group of anyone he had ever met. It made him wonder if he had done something to piss them off, and it made him wonder what problem they had with him. At the very least, he decided he needed to have a long chat with the Valentians. At the very least, give them the “what for” and explain to them why he felt disrespected.

At the very least, it would be good for the soul.

Taylor came out to the back porch, and sat down at the table next to Drake. She was less than thrilled with Drake – instead of celebrating her win, Drake spent much of the evening the night before stewing over the Water Festival. She felt like Drake didn’t really give too much of a shit about the fact she had just scored a huge victory – at home, and on a surface she wasn’t too familiar with, using advice that Drake had given her. She had watched some of the racing that had happened during the day and watched how the dirt surface had evolved throughout the afternoon and evening. But instead of celebrating when she was, she looked back in one of the trailers and saw Drake sulking as he stormed back post-race.

“Drake, can we talk?” Taylor asked. “We need to talk.”

“OK, Taylor, talk,” Drake responded.

“I get it you’re pissed off at the Valentians,” Taylor started. “That was pretty shitty of them. But you need to drop it. There’s plenty of good instead. There’s plenty of good things happening here instead. You know, instead of having to entertain a bunch of, I don’t know, jackasses? Instead of having to entertain those guys until three in the morning, we can spend a night to ourselves, we can go out and do something for ourself. We can go out to Lake Eclipse, get on the boat, and spend an evening to ourself. Fuck the Valentians. Their true colors came out. But they did the two of us a favor. We don’t have to worry about some sort of drama going on in our backyard, or hell, remember last year? We don’t have to worry about anything getting blown up.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Drake said. “We can spend that time to ourself.”

“Yeah, we can,” Taylor continued, a sharp tone of voice evident. “But I don’t like, is last night, I really wanted to see you after the race. I beat the rest of the world in my race – MY race, Drake, you understand that? That’s MY race, sponsored by my family’s company. My parents spend millions of dollars a year sponsoring this, and I was hoping you’d be there to celebrate me winning. I won because of what you told me. But where were you? You were pissed off about some stupid fucking Water Festival. To hell with that.”

“I just… I mean, I don’t…”

“Drake, I don’t really want to hear it,” Taylor replied. “You allowed the Valentians to get in your head and you disrespected me. I feel like that maybe, and I hope I’m wrong on this, but maybe us wasn’t such a great idea.”

“Go on,” Drake said. “Explain.”

“I don’t know, man, it just feels like we’re always angry all the time and we just don’t get to spend time as ourself, as a couple,” Taylor explained. “We’re always doing different things, and yeah, we get to see each other all the time, but we don’t get to see each other, as each other. Some time we need to just spend a weekend to ourself. We haven’t gotten enough of that, and I wonder, if we could spend that time by ourself, maybe we’d figure out if we could make this work.”

“I agree,” Drake calmly said, absent the vicious anger that had penetrated his voice earlier. “We’re always surrounded by people, always got cameras around us, other drivers, other bullshit. There’s always got to be some third wheel. Hell, even here, it always seems like there’s something up. You’ve got a sponsor thing. I’ve got to test a car somewhere. We’re working on the simulator. You know what it is? It’s a work-life balance issue.”

“No, no, it’s not,” Taylor said. “Because there is no balance. You’re right, Drake. We need some time away from this shit. Let’s get on the boat and spend a few days there. Get away from this, and honestly? That Berman Bros. race, I’ve got half a mind to withdraw from it.”

“Yeah, me too.”

HAPILOPPER CITY HERALD ✓

@HCHerald
NEWS: Drake Stevenson and Taylor Henderson have officially withdrawn from the #BermanBrosClassic, citing personal reasons.

#NSSCRA : #SuperSkychief500

by **Valentine Z** » Thu Apr 14, 2022 9:21 pm

The Valentians – Race 13 – Multiversal: TJUN 600, Jungle Circuit, Peninsula, JagBase TJUN-ia, TJUN-ia (Road Course); Everlong: NGADM 500, Jungle Circuit, Peninsula, JagBase TJUN-ia, TJUN-ia (Road Course)

Chief Aviator Gwen Tracer Hepburn “Fate of Existence and the Omniverse” Ellen Trixie Caitlin Foxworthy Avril Verlene Eveline Celinda Sammy Doris T-Rev Oxton Arielle Lindall Leslie Vitesse Allison stood proud on the podium, also being very, very tall and sticking out compared to the rest of the drivers on her side. Jeremiah Brooke placed first, with Michael Stefan on third. Jeremiah especially gave her quite a lot of pressure, bumping and making contact on her car on a consistent basis come the last lap of the race. Gwen certainly didn't mind, returning the favour to Jeremiah in the meantime. Still, it just wasn't enough, with Gwen losing out to Jeremiah by a few milliseconds, the win going to him. The crowd went wild, the announcer was screaming at the top of his lung, and there was the whole fanfare going on. Gwen held her second place medal high and proud, grateful for what it is, even if she wished that it would have been her who would take the finish line first and to be holding that trophy. The Valentians have been on a rather odd case for this season so far. They have been getting decent qualifications and finishes, the points are showing the nature of their performance. However, none of the Multiversal Valentians – including the Gardeners – have won any of the races just yet. They have been coasting along with points, and with the cutoffs coming more or less soonish, they need to buckle up and get working on their finishings before all of them are lost for good. "We shall see for another time and for the races," Gwen said, "For now, I am going back to Valentine Z, and celebrate!"

Valentijn “De Sierlijke en Vrij Valkyrie General ov Valentine Z” Samantha Maxwell Delta Weston Stijn Angelus Tracey Mitchell Tristian Marnix Basilisk Lewis Hyatt X. Constantine Sein Lin Zaw Naing made a decision to take off very early that morning, citing that they need to be in the Hapilopper City in order to get their errands in check. First and foremost being the Water Festival, one that is held in many of the Southeast Asian countries under Valentine Z, as well as in some parts of Mars. With them arriving and making the announcement, as well as getting various clearances in check and ensuring everyone about the safeness of the portal system, the festivities went on. The war that ravaged the Valentians for 4 years certainly did not slow them down with the holidays and observances, even if they have to be halted for the 4-5 years where they were caught up in the war. After the recovery and rebuilding was done, it was back to the same old Valentian ways – everything oversized for the rest of the multiverse, and with the happiness to boot that have perhaps creeped out a few people. Valentijn stepped into the portal and found herself at Aoutpine Yangon, with her people saddling between preparing for the NSSCRA race for the Everlong folks, whilst celebrating the festival with ample amounts of singing, Padauk flowers, and the pièce de résistance being the fun of splashing cold water at each other on the summers, what with the tropical regions in Valentine Z (on Earth, anyway) reaching as high as 45 degrees Celsius / 113 degrees Fahrenheit, with very low humidity to boot. Valentijn opened the festivals proper with a speech of her own – a short one but perhaps nonetheless an important one. She checked the microphone on her suit, and with the sound levels all checked up, she made the broadcast.

"Good day to you, my fellow friends and families, and citizens of Valentine Z. Today marks the start of the Water Festival for the many of us here in the Southeast Asia region, and perhaps one that is quite special for everyone here, I am sure. As you all are aware, we have recently passed through a very dark chapter of our life and of our nation – an interdimensional war of a massive scale that lasted 4 years. Thanks to the technology that we all have here for ourselves, we are able to save all of the citizens, those who are unable to be conscripted in for various reasons. I am not here to lay a finger on that, of course, you all have been wonderful one way or another, and I am very grateful for that. What I mean, however, was that the war still cost us the lives of many of our soldiers – our fallen brothers and sisters, regardless of language, religion, race, part of the 2 planets you came from, the people back in nation of Vidunderlige Nye Verden – we will honour and respect their memories, for their decision to not get revived through us but through the cycle of reincarnation from the cycles of life. A moment of silence for the fallen.

…

Thank you. With this said and done, let us then celebrate the New Year and new lease of life with the Water Festival of 2093! We have known our fallen comrades, and every one of them will be sure and be happy to have us here celebrating for their next afterlife instead of one with mourning and lament. To celebrate is not to disrespect those who have lived; we shall cherish the memories of those who have sacrificed, as with the likes of the eras of the Pre-Valentian days, and we shall continue to try our very best in setting an example of an exemplary civilization for everyone, right here in this spot of the Multiverse. Let the festivities begin, and let us have a lot of fun right here!"

With the speech done, she then went back to her home together with Clarissa – who also have had quite a good race of her own in TJUN-ia – in order to get properly dressed for the visit to the Shwedagon Pagoda, a tradition that is as common and natural as breathing for most of the Buddhist Burmese such as Valentijn. She approached the pagoda slowly with each step, keeping a distance as a sign of respect not to overshadow it with her tall and large stature, and made praying motions. Clarissa was simply watching beside her, also mimicking a little bit of the gestures by herself. The couple, along with tens of thousands of Burmese folks (with the traffic jams), are in peace.

by **Garden at 6th Mile Road** » Thu Apr 14, 2022 9:21 pm

The Gardeners – Race 13 – Multiversal: TJUN 600, Jungle Circuit, Peninsula, JagBase TJUN-ia, TJUN-ia (Road Course); Everlong: NGADM 500, Jungle Circuit, Peninsula, JagBase TJUN-ia, TJUN-ia (Road Course)

Holly Aceline “De Stralend en Wonderbaarlijk Licht Koningin Van Haar Mooie Universum” Aurora Symantha Vreugde Astrid Lavender Lexis Lilac Harmony Tsi. Marlie Nova Radiant Lapia Starlight got into another DNF once again, but she was relieved to know and to realise that it was her own fault on the turns that caused her to crash, and that she did not get anyone else involved this time. "Ahh, maybe next time again!" she said to the interviewers and the reporters, the numbers which are growing by a little bit perhaps because they wanted to ask Anna a series of important questions, one in particular being, "Anna, this is your second DNF in a row for this season, and perhaps your first season! How are you still pretty happy and optimistic about it as of now?" Anna gave a bit of a wink and a shrug, along with a proper answer that went a little bit like so, "Well, I mean, before I go on, I of course would like to tell and preface that I am aware that there are a lot of people out there who does the racing as a career, and there are a lot of stakes involved. With that said and done, I am just optimistic because for one, I am here for the thrill of it all, ha ha! Yes, winning is good too, and I am happy that I am getting better qualification times! At the same time, I mean, there is always the next race, you know? Plus, I have just entered this race and this is my first season, so I am expected to get a bit of bad performance here and there. Maybe next race, there's always next season! As long as this season and motorsports is alive, then I certainly will try my best as well! I know it's easier said than done!"

Then on the other end of the win-lose spectrum was one Holly Aceline “De Stralend en Wonderbaarlijk Licht Koningin Van Haar Mooie Universum” Aurora Symantha Vreugde Astrid Lavender Lexis Lilac Harmony Tsi. Marlie Nova Radiant Lapia Starlight, who managed to be in front of Clarissa for the last few laps of the road course, having overtaken her from the previous segment. It was quite an effort, with Chris Holmes (#8), Koshiro Kawai (#58), and then Lam Chow-Cheung (#38) right in front of her. The effort paid off eventually, with Clarissa and Holly then bumper drafting and helping each other out, maintaining their placement on the track for the remainder of the race until they hit the finish line. It was not a podium finish like the one she got last time, but for the time being, especially with what happened to Anna and with Jolyn falling behind, Holly was more than happy with the results. "Maybe in the next race I shall be able to do whatever is needed to be done, hm hm! Maybe a bit more practice, on top of, well, something else, I am hoping. I do wonder if those French guys got a bit too occupied and are too busy to talk."

by **Valentine Z** » Thu Apr 14, 2022 11:08 pm

The Valentians – Race 14 – Multiversal: Sharpe's Battleship 250, The HNE Half Mile, Hapilopper City, Hapilopper (Short Track - DIRT TRACK); Everlong: Preston Tough Trucks 200, The HNE Half Mile, Hapilopper City, Hapilopper (Short Track - DIRT TRACK)

Valentijn “De Sierlijke en Vrij Valkyrie General ov Valentine Z” Samantha Maxwell Delta Weston Stijn Angelus Tracey Mitchell Tristian Marnix Basilisk Lewis Hyatt X. Constantine Sein Lin Zaw Naing has been celebrating a lot and splashing water at her friends and her countrymen for 8 hours without rest, ever since her Everlong race was over. A 4th finish, with Marcus trailing on at 19th, it was something that they did not mind as much, especially given the unorthodox track that is the combination of being a short track with the dirt road. The race was fun, the Hapilopper City was fun, but to her, the most fun that she got from was the Water Festival, one that she immediately went back to Aoutpine Yangon through the teleportation system. She was having fun, as it has already been established. Perhaps a little too much. There was something constantly nagging her, but she could not remember or put her finger on it as to what it might have been. Something was missing. It was not the Padauk flowers that she was wearing on her head. It was not the taste of the water, which she has already fixed decades ago when some of the waters used during Thingyan would smell like rusty water from goodness-knows-where. It was not the food that has gone off or did not have that taste that she was used to. No, it was something else entirely, and she was getting a bit more than uncomfortable at this looming thought. She turned off the water pipe that she was using for splashing at her citizens from her height, care being taken in order to not let her fun become a little too lethal. As she turned off the water hose, she then excused herself from the Valentians and a few of her family members, citing, "Ahh, sorry guys! I really wish I can stay, but I have something to take care of. Well, something. I will be back for the next few days, don't worry about it!" Inside the Valentian dropship, there was a bit of a chaotic mess going on, papers being shuffled and a few strangers paying a visit with a paper on hand. What was going on? Then she realised.

"OH. OH NO," she gasped audibly, to which everyone, including the strangers which she presumed are Hapilopperians, turned their attention to her. Their faces were less than pleasant, what with the ramifications that Valentijn has brought upon herself, as well as to the rest of Valentians. The Valentians were not the ones with the faces of anger, more of confusion and remorse. Valentiijn realised her mistake – The Water Festival cancelled the Big Ass.

"How could I forget?" Valentijn suddenly wailed off, sitting down on the cold and unforgiving metal floor of the dropship, the Valentians (and a few of the visiting Hapilopperians alike) walking towards her, but giving her a bit of a distance, "How did I forget? Oh, no. It was their big event here! They did this every single season, and I blew it! I blew it at my nice and friendly folks at Hapilopper." To those outside, it might have sounded dramatic, but for Valentijn, she was definitely going into a full-on despair and even a bit of a breakdown. Not the one where she would start hauling objects and going into a rage; one that has many regrets and was mentally thinking of banging her head against the wall for such a mistake that she has made not just to anyone, but to those close friends that the Valentians got outside of Valentine Z and outside of Motorsports. She looked at Twii.tur to confirm that it was definitely not a nightmare of sorts. "So, people have walked up to me all weekend asking about the "Big-Ass" event we usually have this year. I have cancelled it this year and I'm not sure I'll hold another one. Thank the Valentians for that and hope you enjoy their Water Festival." She had a lump in her throat, with the last part definitely not being a very pleasant tone. "I should have held it off… Damn it! It would have been completely okay IF I told everyone that the Water Festival is happening now, BUT we will only celebrate when we reach our own country. We did it not just without the Hapilopperians' permission, but we crashed their party into not getting made. Sigh, သေပါပြီ။"

And then, she let it out. She shouted it out in the ship as she slammed her fist onto the wall, reverberating the entire place. "FUCK!" she yelled, the flowers on her hair already starting to wilt. The Valentians were clueless as to how they could help or to undo the damage, with both Gwen and Jolyn not very content with reversing time just for the purpose of fixing this mistake. "I mean, in other places, we could try," Gwen remarked, walking towards Valentijn and patting her on the shoulder, with Clarissa trying to give Val a hug. Gwen continued on with the remark, "I'm sorry, Val. This is not something that I can just do. This place, this world, this universe, it's not like any other places that we know. The laws and rules of physics and time are different-" Valentijn politely waved her off, certainly not out of outright dismissiveness. "It's all right.. it's all right. I will try to get this fixed," she then looked at the bill, along with the Hapilopperians to whom she was convinced were the vendors from that Big Ass Event. It was not just a small party – it was a Big Ass party with Big Ass Earnings and Profits to be made. And the Valentians – even if unintentionally – screwed it up. Big-Ass Time. "Okay," Valentijn looked at the Hapilopperians again, "I will think of something, let me keep the bill for a while. You won't go unpaid for this, just please do let me think of something in the meantime, all right?" Valentijn said, then politely asking them to leave and to let her be with the Valentians. "Ahh, man, you screwed the porch on this one!" Gwen said teasingly, to which Valentijn then laughed it off quite wholeheartedly and made a playful "Shush!" at her. "Haha, I mean, if it was anyone else, especially that Archer guy, I might have politely tell them off and to go away. Still, these are Hapilopperians. I mean, you guys saw, right?"

The Valentians never forgot that introduction that they have had for the Dirt Track race. From a fully-detailed roll call, to the undying and overly enthusiastic fans from Hapilopper who have been supportive of the Valentians through and through. Even the merchandise "Valentine Z Portal Victim", has an adorable and nice charm to it. On top of that, with Clarissa getting herself a 2nd placement on the track, sandwiched by the two Hapilopperians, they have been their friends through both the ups and downs. All of this, and it was more or less asinine that the Valentians forgot about the Big-Ass Elephant in the room before planning something. When the Valentians are down and needed a bit of help, the Haps would come around. When Clarissa saw herself at the 2nd place, Taylor and Chris would let her be, not using any dirty tactics to ram her off from her fair performance. And yet, here were the Valentians, effectively having betrayed the Hapilopperians and making them miss out on what is also their most crucial and important event of the entire season. Valentijn paced around, gently smacking her head on the wall (a bit much to Clarissa's dismay) every time she made a turn. "Val, please don't do that!" she said worryingly, "We made mistakes now and then, at least no one was hurt." Valentijn simply nodded, stopping in the middle of her pacing back and forth and then putting her hand on Clarissa and looking at the rest of the Valentians around who also didn't know what to do. "Well ahh, I mean, yeah, when you put it like that, it helps. Still, we have screwed them over."

She would have to respond, she thought to herself. And with that, she did. After sulking and thinking it through with the Valentians for a few more hours, on top of running it through with everyone else this time, Valentijn opened Twii.tur, finally registering her account after having been not using it for so long. She could not remember what happened to her other account; she might have remembered deleting it, and thus was the reasoning as to why she was able to sign back up using the same email. Technicalities aside, she composed the document and the statement, and was ready to post it into the post with a screenshot attached, with link to the clearer image if needed.

VALKYRIE VALENTIJN SAMANTHA CONSTANTINE ✓

@ValkyrieValentijn10
My dear and most sincere apologies for all of this mess! I cannot compress this into the character limit, so please see the post here.

#NSSCRA : #BigAssMistake : #BigAssValentians

My dearest and esteemed friends of NSSCRA, it has been no doubt that I, Valkyrie Valentijn Samantha Constantine, has messed up this season regarding the event in Hapilopper, and that first and foremost, I would like to sincerely apologise for this mishap. To put this frankly, the fault is not on anyone else but myself, and I have been a little obsessed with the festivities. I was the one who wrote the email and yes, I forgot to check the calendar. To stem off from the sort-of corporate-speak apology of sorts – which, believe me, I also don't like doing – I will be going through a couple of things as to what happened and the reasoning behind it, and I will follow-up accordingly.

The Water Festival – known as Thingyan in Burmese, Songkran in Thai, and in many other names – is a 5-day long event that signifies the start of the New Year for us. It admittedly has the roots in Buddhism. To quote one of the online encyclopedias, "The dates of the Thingyan Festival are calculated according to the Burmese calendar. The dates of the festival are observed as public holidays throughout Myanmar, and are part of the summer holidays at the end of the school year. Water-throwing or dousing one another from any shape or form of vessel or device that delivers water is the distinguishing feature of this festival and may be done on the first four days of the festival." As a result, from the get-go, we do are aware that this is not an event that will be celebrated by everyone, but I figured that it would still be a gesture of goodwill to let people in and to celebrate with us on this very wonderful day.

Most importantly, this was NOT an attempt to uppercut the people of Hapilopper and to take away their celebration. I have and will admit again that I simply forgot out of pure human memory, and that there was no malicious intentions to put this up here right now. It just so happens that the race and the events at Hapilopper fell on our Water Festival. As of the time of this writing, it is currently 15th of April 2093 in our world, the 3rd day of festivals. It was simply sheer coincidence that we have simply forgotten to check about. We have always been an avid enjoyer of Hapilopper's parties, and this season was no exception. We actually would attend wholeheartedly had it actually happened (I will get into this at later point of the post, no worries). To put it honestly, I should have simply pushed the event forward to when it is the race on the Valentian soils. On top of that, I understood that there are a lot of outrage at the cancellation of Hapilopper's Big Ass event, and for that, again, my personal apologies. I know that it is not just a simple party, and that it has its own festivities and events and vendors and logistics and many more things to take care of. We are more than well-aware of the event being a seasonal occurrence, and it was never our intention to disrupt and have it closed down. For that, I have many regrets, and again, so sorry about that.

Other than apologies, of course, I would like to make up for this. We Valentians will be more than happy to compensate the Hapilopperians with a monetary compensation of NSD 200 Million (200,000,000.00) for the projected losses from the lack of the festival. Please do not take this as us making the noise go away with money, this will never be our intention. Which brings us to the next part, on top of the compensation in the form of a money payout:

We would like to offer the Hapilopperians the opportunity to throw the Big-Ass Event at our race in Valentine Z. We are aware that our race will take place in two separate places, and for that, we will cover the transportation costs and logistics, as well as handling the events and any other considerations. The cost will be absolutely free of charge, and we will set up the booths and events simply for the friends at Hapilopper. You will also no need to worry about rivaling and competing with the other vendors, ones that we have here in Valentine Z especially; the merchandise we sell and set up will not match and compete with the vendors from your nation. On top of that, the vendors of Hapilopper who came to set up on Valentine Z will enjoy the benefits of earning extra profits. Simply provide to us the paperwork of the money you made for those days, and we will increase that amount by 50%. The fun and festivities, along with many other events that the Big-Ass Party is well-known for, will be more than happily entertained by myself and from the rest of The Sixty, and I do hope that you will be able to forgive the error of our ways.

Thank you.

Yours Very Sincerely,
Valentijn “De Sierlijke en Vrij Valkyrie General ov Valentine Z” Samantha Maxwell Delta Weston Stijn Angelus Tracey Mitchell Tristian Marnix Basilisk Lewis Hyatt X. Constantine Sein Lin Zaw Naing

For a group of people who does not get involved into other people's drama and kept their own business racing, the Valentians do tend to get into one now and then. And when they do, it's always a Big-Ass drama.

by **The Sherpa Empire** » Fri Apr 15, 2022 4:19 am

Before the race, Kai Qiang made his way across the grounds at the HNE Half Mile to apologize to Drake for the wreck last week. At the time he'd been very frustrated with how his day was going and hadn't thought much about what it meant for Drake, but now that he'd had a chance to cool off, he figured he ought to say something. After all, Drake did have a tendency to misinterpret Qiang's actions and take things the wrong way -- so it was probably best not to leave things open for interpretation. There was a lot of excitement around Team Blue and it took a little while for Qiang to get through the crowds and get a moment of Drake's time.

"Hey, I just wanted to say sorry about last week," Qiang said. "I didn't mean to get in your way like that, but I was having handling problems."

While Qiang was smoothing things over with Drake, they were interrupted by a large middle-aged man in a bright orange shirt. "Hey, excuse me, can I have your autograph?" the man asked. Drake looked like he might be getting tired of signing autographs and things, but he signed. The man then tried to hand his pen and program book to Qiang, but Qiang just scowled at him like, Are you off your meds? The man's shirt said "QIANG SUCKS EGGS" in big capital letters, and here he was bothering Qiang for an autograph.

"I was actually hoping I could get both your autographs..." the man said.

"No, dude," said Qiang. "It's your business what you want to wear, but no, you can't have my autograph."

The man made the most pitiful sad-puppy-dog eyes, and spluttered, "But...I..."

"Why you even asking?" Qiang asked. He gestured at the man's shirt. "I mean what is the point of wear that and ask me for my autograph?"

"I'm trying to collect as many drivers' autographs as I can so I'll have this to keep as a souvenir," the man said meekly.

Qiang took the man's program book and scrawled the words "Suck eggs" in Chinese characters. At first the man was delighted as he thought Qiang had decided to give him an autograph after all. He started to thank Qiang, but his words trailed off as he realized that something was not right. Qiang waved farewell to Drake and departed before the man could make up his mind if the Chinese characters on his program book were an autograph or something else.

Tsering Chu had a decent amount of dirt racing experience. She had raced at Plum Lake before she got into NSSCRA. But occasionally, even the most experienced driver just has some bad luck -- and that was what happened at the Sharpe's Battleship 250. Kelly Monroe and Yageny Qabaliq got themselves into a mess right in front of Tsering as she came around to lap them. Tsering tried to swerve around them, but that took her into some rough dirt where the track had gotten torn up by everyone's tires. She hit a rut at high speed, lost control of her car, and bounced off a safety barrier at the edge of the track. To a casual viewer watching the race on TV, it probably looked a bit comical -- but from Tsering's point of view, it was not funny. Her crew took a look to see if they could repair the car, but it was a lost cause.

by **The French Army** » Fri Apr 15, 2022 5:55 pm

Napoleon told Jean Lannes to ignore the instructions on the envelope, take it somewhere private, open it himself, and read the note over the phone. Lannes did as he was told.

"Does he know that there are armed guards at the airport?" Napoleon asked. "We can force our way in if we have to, but we will not be able to stay long. Are we meant to escape by plane?"

"That seems like the most logical explanation," said Lannes.

"Yes, but he did not say when we should meet him," said Napoleon. "Timing is very important! Ask him when we are meant to meet. And tell Murat and Massena you all must be ready to return to Jouoangquoi when I call for you. Is it true Massena injured himself in another crash?"

"Uh...no. He offended a lady and got punched in the face."

"Really? I heard that he was in a crash."

"Yeah, he was in a crash, but that's not what happened to his nose."

"The women in this world are so uppity!" Napoleon complained.

They talked a little more and Lannes agreed he would relay the request for additional instructions back to Yurievsky.

A restaurant had hired Tashi Zakhilwal, Leujouje, and a cute Hapiloppian girl to hand out food samples and coupons and the Hapilopper National Exhibition. Things were mostly going okay, but Leujouje seemed a little more distant than usual, like her heart wasn't in it.

"Is everything okay?" Tashi asked.

Leujouje sighed. "I don't know..."

"What's wrong?"

"I asked Andre if he would marry me and he said no. He said he is already married and he doesn't want a second wife."

"He is French, Leujouje. In France, you can only have one wife."

"But why?" said Leujouje. "He is rich enough to support more than one wife."

"Yes, but they don't do that in France," Tashi said. "I don't think he is going to change his mind. If you are looking for a husband, you will need to find someone else."

"But I love him..."

Tashi didn't answer right away because some people walked by and she was busy offering them popcorn chicken samples and talking up the restaurant. She felt sorry for Leujouje, but she had no idea how to make it better. The people went on their way, discussing what they thought of the popcorn chicken, and Tashi turned her attention back to Leujouje.

"Sometimes loving someone isn't enough," Tashi said as gently as she could. She had no idea what Leujouje even saw in Massena to begin with, but that was not the important part right now. "No matter how much you love them, it doesn't mean they will love you back."

"But if he doesn't love me back then why do we spend so much time together?"

"Because he thinks you are hot," said Tashi. "But that is not the same as love."

by **Oontaz Dert Li Ng** » Sat Apr 16, 2022 12:34 am

No wonder TJUN-ia and Hapilopper as nations were filled with so much degeneracy, Prince Bismillah bin Kudarat thought to himself. Not only was the consumption of alcohol legal in the country of TJUN-ia, but it was actually encoded in TJUN-ian law that alcohol should be free. Intoxication was one way for the devil to make men stray from the will of Allah, and the constant state of inebriation in the TJUN-ians was proof of that. The Hapiloppians were little better, even if alcohol wasn't free in Hapilopper like it was in TJUN-ia. The Hapiloppian degeneracy wasn't as "in your face" as the TJUN-ian degeneracy was, but Prince Bismillah could not fathom how a decent person could feel joy and excitement in seeing their fellow man potentially getting hurt in a wreck. And, in the Prince's personal opinion, if his royal forefathers could see a certain Taylor Henderson right now, it would have cemented their opinion that women were not fit to drive vehicles. Women were forbidden from driving in the Muslim-majority regions in the Sultanate of Oontaz until the late 2010s when the restriction was finally lifted by Prince Bismillah's father Sultan Kudarat as part of his modernization reforms. Women could still drive in areas like the Mayin Free State (which had its own constitution despite being under the Sultan of Oontaz as well) and the Jewish-majority province of Yuddayyah, but for the women living in the massive desert peninsula which was the first thing that came to people's minds when talking about the Sultanate of Oontaz, they could not drive without their husband or a male relative until 2018.

Prince Bismillah would be the first to admit that he didn't know Taylor Henderson (or as she was more commonly known, just "Hendo"), but he knew that he could sense anger emanating from her ever since the Prince first tuned in to NSSCRA. Even when he was just watching Hendo on a TV screen hundreds or even thousands of miles away, he thought could feel the pure and unbridled anger from the Hapiloppian woman. When it was revealed that Hendo was in a relationship with her Team Blue teammate Drake Stevenson, Prince Bismillah thought that finally having a man in her life would finally relieve her of all of her anger, but it didn't happen quite like that. In fact, the opposite happened. Hendo seemed to get even angrier once Stevenson came into her life, and in this latest season of NSSCRA, Prince Bismillah had made it a point to avoid her at all costs in the handful of NSSCRA races in which he had participated as an open charter holder.

NSSCRA was now back in Atlantian Oceania and Hapilopper, Hendo's home nation. The Prince had always intended to ignore the dirt race at the HNE Half Mile because racing in dirt just wasn't his thing, and his plan was to apply for an open charter for the Super Skychief 500 as Bismillah Untas in the #50 car, the standard fare. That being said, he had taken the time to watch the dirt race itself, and he had to admit that he was happy for Hendo when she won what was one of her two home races. The Prince could only hope that this victory would lift the anger from her aura, even if just a little bit, and he wouldn't have to spend so much time and effort keeping out of Hendo's way at the Super Skychief 500.

What made the Prince unhappy, or at least not as happy as he usually was, was the fact that his Everlong team had now suffered its first ever DNF of the season. Young Zac Policarpio was one of seven casualties claimed by the Hap Half Mile, though it was at least through no fault of his own. Zac was running his own race like his teammate Tawfiq Chouchane when, all of a sudden, he felt the grip in his tires leave him all of a sudden. Zac was powerless to stop his car from hitting the inside wall, and then he felt more than saw his car being T-boned by someone else. He was able to coax his car back into the pits, but the damage to his engine was declared terminal, and Zac was forced to park the car. It wasn't necessarily a blow to the team as far as the Everlong championship was concerned; Prince Bismillah had reiterated time and again that winning the title wasn't their objective this season. But Zac Policarpio's crash meant that he couldn't run the full race distance, meaning that he missed out on precious and vital laps of dirt racing experience. But Prince Bismillah wasn't too fazed by this development. "Even the best teams in the multiverse crash and fail to finish a race once in a while," he told the team. "Team Blue, TMW, UrGa, even GFR have crashed in NSSCRA before. So how can we expect us to maintain our streak of finishing every single race we've taken part in? This is all part of being a NSSCRA team. We have always experienced the ups of finishing the race without too much damage, and now we are in the downs of our first ever DNF in team history. But this sort of thing happens to every team, and do you see them giving up after this? I didn't think so. This is only a minor setback. In fact, it might not even be a setback if we look at this the proper way. And the good thing about being in Hapilopper is that we can fly in our spare parts in just a few hours and finish our repairs sooner rather than later. We'll be back on track for one of the most prestigious motorsports events in history. We'll be back out there, and we will all be competitive. I believe in all of you."

by **Saint Kanye** » Sat Apr 16, 2022 12:10 pm

Once again, the regular season finale of the NSSCRA Multiversal Cup Series is fast approaching. While Jeremiah Brooke's thrilling win at the TJUN 600 made sure that Gale Force Racing doesn't have to worry about any of its three drivers missing the Chase, the same could not be said for other teams who are still scrambling to squeeze into an ever-shrinking window of opportunity, with only three races and four spots remaining.

But before the series could head to the Jalton Superspeedway in St. Kanye for the Pencurve Electronics 500, they still have to spend two straight weeks in the country equivalent of everyone's fun uncle, Hapilopper. The GFR quartet were looking forward not only to the Sharpe's Battleship 250 and Super Skychief 500, but also all the activities of the Hapilopper/Wreckeria Exhibition, the Berman Bros. Classic, and Drake Stevenson's Big-Ass Bash.

Hold up, scratch that last one.

The Hap driver, through a twii, angrily announced the cancellation of his annual driver party. Apparently, he was offended that the Valentians invited the field to their country's own water festival, which was starting the same day as the 250 and thus the Bash. The GFR members refused to pick sides in this matter, believing that while the Valentians only wanted others to share in the joy of one of their country's special days, Drake couldn't be expected to remember and plan around each and every national holiday he comes across. Besides, they could just go to the Bash after the race, and then Valentine Z the day after, since the festival lasts for several days. This is what they would have done anyway.

THEA ALVAREZ ✓

@Luna_Althea
@HapiDrake81 Aww... that's too bad. One of the things I feel excited about every season.

#NSSCRA : #BigAssBash

KING JEREMIAH V OF THE JUNGLE ✓

@Jeremiah_B
@HapiDrake81 Hey, if there's something troubling you, feel free to hang wherever. Beer's on me.

#NSSCRA : #BigAssBash

KING JEREMIAH V OF THE JUNGLE ✓

@Jeremiah_B
Oh and @NateEllis, if you still want that arm wrestling rematch, LMK

#NSSCRA : #BigAssBash

The race at the HNE Half-Mile was a real banger that saw most of the crowd pumped up, especially since their home team put up an excellent performance. Drake finished sixth, Chris Holmes third, and Taylor Henderson refused to be the first defending Cup champion to miss the playoffs, chalking up the dub and thus one of those four remaining seats. Thea, who had dirt racing in her resume before entering the series, led GFR with a 13th place finish, just one spot ahead of Jeremiah, whose dirt experience comes from him trying everything with an engine during the past few offseasons. Stacie Houston ended up 23rd, but then again, this is her first time on the Half-Mile. Ilya Tsunopin was an off-road racer back in his native 69X, but that unfortunately didn't work to his advantage as he bowed out late and became one of the eleven casualties of the day.

"That was definitely fun," Stacie said in the post-race presser. "I'd need to build up experience though, but thankfully there's the Berman thing coming up." "Yeah, then after going down and dirty, we can just wash off at the Valentian water festival," Thea joked. The team were also asked to weigh in on the issue surrounding the conflict between said festival and the Bash, and again they expressed their neutrality. "While we were absolutely gutted over the loss of an NSSCRA tradition, we have to respect what our friend Drake decided upon. It's his party, it's his house. That said, we'll just enjoy what else Hap City has to offer, and of course spend some time with our other friends over in Val Z," spoke Jeremiah.

In the Everlong side of things, Skip Stiller Speedworks continues to be the dominant team, what with the departure of Rusty Motorsport, one of their biggest rivals from last season. Lexi Patterson won the Preston Tough Trucks 200 to give her two for the season, same as Daryl Calhoun. Pyotr Lavrentiev has only one win, but right now he's topping the points.

Aside from the typical questions about how she felt about her performance for the day ("really happy and proud") and her expectations for the upcoming Chase ("bring it on"), Lexi was asked about her thoughts on the rumors that her old team, Jebslunder Motorenwerken, might be making a comeback in the next NSSCRA season. "If that's true, then I'm happy for them. They're an organization that values hard work, same as where I'm in right now, so I have no reason to believe they won't do well." She declined to comment when asked if she'll accept a seat if they offered her one, though. It's not exactly a secret that she's happy with her current place in the second tier, but she has never confirmed nor denied that she'd want to return to Cup.

Lav, however has another reunion on his mind - one with him and fellow ex-Motorsports Ceroat members Rustam Ilyich Yudin (now in the main series) and Taras Lakrov (still fighting the good fight back home). Nothing against Oontaz, where the three of them did meet a few months ago, but they've always wanted to be in Jalton together, even during the days of their original team. As for Daryl, nothing much is occupying his mind but winning or at least getting a good finish. There's so much happening in the world of the NSSCRA week in and week out that his early season woes, including the time he sat last in the driver standings, have largely been forgotten.

by **Tropicorp** » Sat Apr 16, 2022 1:03 pm

Hapilopper / Wreckeria Exposition, Hapilopper City, Hapilopper :: After kicking off the festivities with the Sharpe's Battleship 250 Dirt Race at the HNE Half-Mile in Hapilopper City, the Hapilopper-Wreckeria Exposition was a busy time for teams and representatives alike. After having been given a two-week reprieve to re-charge back at the Cocoabo Park following the grueling Tropicorp 500 race, Cocoabo #28 would be on their way to Hapilopper City for along with a friend, Cocoabo #23 who had also taken the same path from the Tropicoast Beach Course, up to Cocoabo Park for a week and then down to Hapilopper City. With their scheduled rest back at Cocoabo Park, the Cocoabo drivers were unfortunate to miss out on all of the festivities in and around the Jungle Circuit in TJUN-ia during the TJUN 600 race week which included Parties and Bowling for NSSCRA team members. Cocoabo #23, the World Grand Prix Championship driver did make their first stock car appearance of the season in the Tropicorp Sifaka 300K AOCAR Stock Car Series Race at the Tropicorp Beach Course. After a difficult qualifying run in 34th position, Cocoabo #23 drove a steady race to finish 18th in the 41 car field in a race that was won by Team Tropicorp's own Anavella Ariiki.

When Cocoabo #23 arrives in town they will be heading over to the HNE Half Mile to compete in the Berman Brothers Classic Dirt Race as they look to hone their skills before the start of the next World Grand Prix Championship signing period - looking to add some additional racing successes to bolster their resume after a lukewarm World Grand Prix Championship campaign. Cocoabo #78 will also be in town making the appearance trail with twii.tur, Tropicorp Racing Supply and the Cocoabo Preservation Society all expected to have a presence during the Hapilopper-Wreckeria Exhibition and the Cocoabo drivers expected to make appearances at each display. Team Tropicorp will also be fielding Berman Brothers Classic entries for AOCAR Development driver Jeszi Hotoniia while sponsoring the Tiones Racing entries driven by NSSCRA Multiversal Cup Series drivers Centur Tiones and Yraaga Gilli'i. Cocoabo #28 will skip the events at the HNE Half Mile while continuing to undergo refreshing enrichment activities at Cocoabo Park before hopefully catching the tail end of the Hapilopper/Wreckeria Exposition and attempting to qualify the #28 twii.tur Hybrid Dart into the field for the Super SkyChief 500.

The twii.tur display will be closer to the Hapilopper City Raceway and will feature 4 former NSSCRA Dart chassis race cars converted into racing simulators linked together for a four-way racing experience where fans can go head to head on any NSSCRA track of their choosing in short distance races for no cost. Every participant will get a wrist band tracking their performance in simulator races throughout the week. Every race winner gets to spin the twii.tur prize wheel where the possible prizes include Fidget Spinners, hats, sunglasses, lanyards and fanny packs adorned with the twii.tur logo and also gets entered into a drawing for two tickets to the Vilaye Energy Drink 314 at the Vilitan Mountain Challenge Course. Any participant with five or more race victories gets one spin at the big prize wheel which includes a replica twii.tur pit crew polo shirt, twii.tur socks, autographed race-used memorabilia and tickets to a twii.tur hospitality session attended by NSSCRA drivers Jixaka Motorai and Jenna Logan.

As usual, Tropicorp Racing Supply will bring their Tropicorp Pit Crew Challenge where fans will be able to test their skills in Tire Changing, Re-Fueling, Jacking, Repairs and Inspections - earning prizes for making the leader board or topping the days best times.

Individual Skill Stations:

The Cocoabo Preservation Society display will include a replica of Cocoabo #28's twii.tur Blue Services Dart that the Cocoabo driver hopes to pilot in the upcoming Super SkyChief 500 for their first start since the Tropicorp 500 as well as a special appearance by the Cocoabo driver at the display scheduled for the day before the big event at the Hapilopper City Raceway. Fans can visit the Cocoabo Preservation Society Display to learn more about the activities that the Cocoabo Preservation Society supports including the history of the Cocoabo Forest, the societies close cooperation with Tropicorp at large and the Cocoabo Enrichment and Enhancement Program, including all the intricate details of just how the Cocoabo drivers trained through the CEEP at Cocoabo Park are able to drive their slightly modified high-speed machines and what the specialists supporting them back at the CEEP due to nuture and develop those skills from a young age. Beyond just the racing aspect, the exhibit will touch on Cocoabo athletes throughout the sporting multiverse including those Cocoabo athletes currently competing in the XVI Winter Olympic Games in City Centre, Liventia where the Cocoabo delegation has already earned two bronze medals. Fans will also be able to purchase Cocoabo Preservation Society merchandise with 100% of proceeds going back to support the Cocoabo.

Cocoabo #28's entry for the Super SkyChief 500 will feature the twii.tur Blue Services logo for the first time this season after having previously featured only the standard twii.tur or twii.tur Multiversal Services paint schemes. If Cocoabo #28 is available to drive for Team Tropicorp at the Super SkyChief 500 in the #28 twii.tur Blue Services Dart, Jenna Logan will be driving without the twii.tur logos in her Blue and Orange #3 Dagan Airways / Tropicorp Hybrid Dart. Team Tropicorp Everlong Contenders Series driver Bryan Harrison will also have the twii.tur Blue Services logos on the #5 Dart for the Super SkyChief 500 Race Weekend.

About twii.tur Blue Services

twii.tur is a short message communication service based in Turori allowing users to exchange content of 140 characters or less. The service originated as a way to allow officials to receive alerts and key information such as incoming weather notifications, major events and the ability to stay coordinated during a time of crisis but was under-utilized and doubts were raised as to whether the overhead of the infrastructure was worthwhile to maintain.

As capabilities of interconnected and handheld communication devices improved, the Turorian Weather & Information Interchange (Twii) was adapted into a public facing service where users could sign up to create their own twii nodes where users would sign up to a twii group to receive all the twii messages delivered by members of that group. Ultimately, as demand grew, a fully public release of twii came at the connected location twii.tur where all users can participate in the public twii, selecting which messages to receive by adding individual users, groups or topics to their twii.tur feed.

twii.tur first got involved in the NSSCRA during Season 7 when they signed on as an associate sponsor for Cocoabo #28 and Team Tropicorp. twii.tur's involvement in the sport would expand during NSSCRA Season 8 when they served as one-off Co-Primary sponsor on the part-time entries of #49 Lotara Novorali, #77 iBen Toralmintii and #98 Jixaka Motorai as well as an associate sponsor on the one-off entry of Drake Stevenson at the Hapilopper Speedway.

As twii.tur usage began to expand throughout the multiverse the number of users and accounts grew to such an extent that for some it became difficult to weed out the important comments and contributions of users, entities and organizations of stature and good standing in various fields from the repetitive, attention seeking, misleading or frivolous contributions from every day users. As a result, twii.tur announced the creation of twii.tur services which allow priority filtering depending on the criteria imposed on special accounts. twii.tur Blue Services are designed to allow verified users in a given discipline to have prioritized communication where twii's exchanged between blue services users are always highlighted amongst each other making blue services communications easier to follow and identify. twii.tur Blue Services have proven popular in the sporting communities as twii.tur verified athletes including footsport players and race card drivers can use twii.tur as a platform to communicate without their contributions being completely overrun by attention seeking responses not relevant to the original twii.

Blue Services users can opt to enable a number of settings on their twii's including the option of making their contributions visible to all twii.tur users or only visible to other blue services members; as well as to enable or disable responses to their twii's between all users or only users part of the blue services program. twii.tur have chosen to advertise their blue services program in the NSSCRA to continue growing awareness for the program not only amongst the motorsport community who already have been making use of the services in volumes, but also as a way to attract interest among public users in tracking and following the content created by twii.tur's verified Blue Service users.

by **Hapilopper** » Sat Apr 16, 2022 5:09 pm

The Berman Brothers Classic, Phase One: Time Trials.

TIME TRIAL RESULTS:

AUTOMATIC MAIN EVENT QUALIFIERS:
  1 #07MS - Michael Stefan (TJUN-ia)                                 16.994
  2 #DC23 - David Clarke (Abanhfleft)                                17.006
  3 #38LC - Lam Chow-Cheung (TJUN-ia)                                17.012
  4 #06 - Rinzi Aogar Zakhilwal (The Sherpa Empire)                  17.012

B-MAIN QUALIFIERS:
  5 #D20 - Daryl Calhoun (Saint Kanye)                               17.015
  6 #02 - Mike Malone (Garvinson)                                    17.015
  7 #61 - Joachim Murat (The French Army)                            17.016
  8 #39RY - Rustam Yudin (Abanhfleft)                                17.038
  9 #69MG - Max Gannon (Saint Kanye)                                 17.038
 10 #70 - Dewey Savage (Peoria)                                      17.054
 11 #WC98 - Wilma von Cärinthen (Abanhfleft)                         17.067
 12 #97RD - Robin Dragonovic (South Newlandia)                       17.074
 13 #19 - Lewis Hooper (Buckridge)                                   17.076
 14 #70GG - Gongming Gao (North China)                               17.086
 15 #92 - Maggie Rodgers (Peoria)                                    17.086
 16 #LH1 - Leuhuais (Jouoangquoi)                                    17.089
 17 #LB42 - Leo Baxter (Abanhfleft)                                  17.097
 18 #24 - Hugh Walker (Buckridge)                                    17.098
 19 #00 - Colin Meredith (Pinkerton)                                 17.099

C-MAIN QUALIFIERS:
 20 #55 - Ashley Milton (Hapilopper City)                            17.101
 21 #74 - Rod Randolph (Hapilopper City)                             17.104
 22 #0 - Alex Remington (Pinkerton)                                  17.114
 23 #IT45 - Ilya Tsunopin (Sixty-ninE X)                             17.118
 24 #31GTA - Gwen Tracer Allison Oxton (Valentine Z)                 17.120
 25 #14 - Grayson Fisher (Jonesboro)                                 17.122
 26 #G0 - Gavin Ogden (Saint Kanye)                                  17.125
 27 #40 - Rataba'ii Muspriin (Vilita and Turori)                     17.130
 28 #50GP - Rudy Edwards (Hapilopper City)                           17.131
 29 #84 - Jared Lane (West Hampton)                                  17.143
 30 #64 - Scott Grabold (Hapilopper City)                            17.146
 31 #053 - Todd Miller (Border City)                                 17.154
 32 #46TA - Thea Alvarez (Saint Kanye)                               17.158
 33 #20 - Clancy Winston (Garvinson)                                 17.163
 34 #8 - Chris Holmes (Hapilopper City)                              17.163
 35 #10VV - Valkyrie Valentijn Samantha Constantine (Valentine Z)    17.168
 36 #80GZ - Ganglie Zhe (Abanhfleft)                                 17.168
 37 #43 - Courtney Cornell (East Hampton)                            17.174
 38 #89 - Wilson Benedict (Buckridge)                                17.176
 39 #75 - Bob Daubney (Hapilopper City)                              17.181

D-MAIN QUALIFIERS:
 40 #2T - Centur Tiones (Team Tropicorp)                             17.183
 41 #77M - Marcus Alan Ariel Reynolds (Valentine Z)                  17.188
 42 #45 - Darwin Smith (Buckridge)                                   17.191
 43 #K97 - Rulita Kikaba (Vilita and Turori)                         17.199
 44 #27 - Ned Clifton (West Hampton)                                 17.205
 45 #051 - Gary Savidge (East Hampton)                               17.205
 46 #99RL - Ricky Lee (Saint Kanye)                                  17.209
 47 #1 - Steve Shepherd (Buckridge)                                  17.217
 48 #050 - Owen Archer (Hapilopper City)                             17.218
 49 #63 - Jean Lannes (The French Army)                              17.222
 50 #96 - Victor Pain (Hapilopper City)                              17.227
 51 #3A - Arnold Farrell (Pinkerton)                                 17.228
 52 #51 - Roosevelt Jenkins (Garvinson)                              17.235
 53 #24CT - Chelsea Taylor (Newmanistan)                             17.236
 54 #120 - Lennox Solomon (Buckridge)                                17.237
 55 #8x - Petanz Towwrignii (Vilita and Turori)                      17.250
 56 #71AK - Aurelia Karvonen (Kimi-Suomi)                            17.252
 57 #8B - Frank Bronson (Hapilopper City)                            17.265
 58 #67 - Andrew Arrington (Garvinson)                               17.270
 59 #58KK - Koshiro Kawai (Abanhfleft)                               17.272

E-MAIN QUALIFIERS:
 60 #22 - Dale Ward (Hapilopper City)                                17.279
 61 #10 - Connie Gilbert (West Hampton)                              17.282
 62 #63 - Eddie Donovan (Buckridge)                                  17.283
 63 #55H - Holly Aurora Lapia Starlight (Valentine Z)                17.286
 64 #54H - Scott Hawking (Halsted)                                   17.290
 65 #79 - Drew Keegan (West Hampton)                                 17.297
 66 #052 - Rudy Albertson (Kingsland)                                17.313
 67 #41X - Tommy Holmes (Hapilopper City)                            17.321
 68 #93 - D.J. Garvin (Border City)                                  17.329
 69 #23 - Umbala Trisirala (Vilita and Turori)                       17.337
 70 #420 - "Forest Rider" (Hapilopper City)                          17.338
 71 #C17 - Tsering Chu (The Sherpa Empire)                           17.345
 72 #2 - Pete Harrison (Hapilopper City)                             17.359
 73 #69hot Jeszi Hotoniia (Team Tropicorp)                           17.361
 74 #85 - Dave Talbot (Buckridge)                                    17.375
 75 #Q17 - Kai Qiang (The Sherpa Empire)                             17.384
 76 #90 - Todd Brooks (Hapilopper City)                              17.384
 77 #30 - Nathan Ewart (Garvinson)                                   17.393
 78 #7 - Juracai Klianiota (Vilita and Turori)                       17.398
 79 #07KS - Kaarina Salo (Kimi-Suomi)                                17.403

F-MAIN QUALIFIERS:
 80 #06S - Bret Summerfield (Hapilopper City)                        17.411
 81 #84T - Tyrone Lane (West Hampton)                                17.422
 82 #95 - Sam Garey (East Hampton)                                   17.439
 83 #7T - Toby Street (Hapilopper City)                              17.455
 84 #39 - Wallace Diggory (Buckridge)                                17.466
 85 #83 - Victor Cross (Buckridge)                                   17.467
 86 #34 - Ken Sacheverell (Hapilopper City)                          17.493
 87 #80 - Tolly Sempers (Buckridge)                                  17.503
 88 #5 - Glenn Oliver (Buckridge)                                    17.515
 89 #13 - Brent Francis (Hapilopper City)                            17.526
 90 #XXX - Lexi Patterson (Saint Kanye)                              17.528
 91 #18T - Tyson Hoyt (Buckridge)                                    17.530
 92 #94 - Timmy Byrne (Buckridge)                                    17.545
 93 #54 - Ricky Gadsden (Hapilopper City)                            17.551
 94 #7X - Sid Gabriel (Buckridge)                                    17.561
 95 #65 - Robert Franklin (Buckridge)                                17.564
 96 #47 - Edmund Flanders (Buckridge)                                17.568
 97 #27SH - Stacie Houston (Saint Kanye)                             17.593
 98 #48AM -Ashley Matthews (Newmanistan)                             17.612
 99 #1X - Jill Singletary (Saint Kanye)                              17.615

G-MAIN QUALIFIERS:
100 #116 - Julie Forest (Kingsland)                                  17.628
101 #RG3 - Glen Reid (Saint Kanye)                                   17.633
102 #5LL - Liangmei Li (Newmanistan)                                 17.654
103 #48RC - Ryan Carroll (Newmanistan)                               17.662
104 #18JB - Jeremiah Brooke (Saint Kanye)                            17.663
105 #ZS5 - Shuzhen Zhu (The Sherpa Empire)                           17.719
106 #7C - Clarissa Alanis Star (Valentine Z)                         17.732
107 #96AJ - Alice Jepkosgei (TJUN-ia)                                17.740
108 #98 - Neville Barclay (Buckridge)                                17.744
109 #C78 - Cocoabo #78 (Team Tropicorp)                              17.782
110 #87 - Roddy Smith (West Hampton)                                 17.799
111 #41T - Yraaga Gilli'i (Team Tropicorp)                           17.806
112 #12 - Gale Patterson (Hapilopper City)                           17.836
113 #41 - William Holmes (Hapilopper City)                           17.837
114 #1Z - Zach Ryland (Hapilopper City)                              17.875
115 #48 - Wes Wayland (Hapilopper City)                              17.905
116 #80B - Anton Bruce (Buckridge)                                   17.916
117 #77S - Mike Sloan (Buckridge)                                    17.919
118 #89jr - Wilson Benedict, Jr. (Buckridge)                         17.926
119 #87V - Kizara Mo'aaki (Vilita and Turori)                        17.961

H-MAIN QUALIFIERS:
120 #12D - Dick Wallace (Hapilopper City)                            17.962
121 #24K - Kurt Jernigan (Surrey)                                    17.993
122 #32 - Jack Bradley (East Hampton)                                18.008
123 #60 - Caleb Forrest (Hapilopper City)                            18.016
124 #59 - Bob Reynolds (East Hampton)                                18.034
125 #72 - Buster Fields (Hapilopper City)                            18.064
126 #300 - Clancy Faulk (Buckridge)                                  18.079
127 #4CRT - Pyotr Lavrentiev (Saint Kanye)                           18.084
128 #3 - Seth Brooks (Hapilopper City)                               18.091
129 #88 - Mike Hudson (North Hampton)                                18.093
130 #81 - Devin Whitaker (Hapilopper City)                           18.097
131 #AK47 - Agata Kosaryova (Abanhfleft)                             18.106
132 #6 - Bernie Montgomery (North Hampton)                           18.109
133 #000 - Zack Geneva (Hapilopper City)                             18.136
134 #52X - Dr. Johnny Earnest (Buckridge)                            18.155
135 #38 - Tom Newton (Hapilopper City)                               18.157
136 #52 - Tony Earnest (Buckridge)                                   18.157
137 #92L - Fred Little (Washington)                                  18.170
138 #31 - Jim Slade (Pinkerton)                                      18.181
139 #13MB - Milton Benton (Hapilopper City)                          18.194

I-MAIN QUALIFIERS:
140 #01 - Byron Raynard (Hapilopper City)                            18.231
141 #40Y - Ongmu Yeti (The Sherpa Empire)                            18.251
142 #37 - Jama'obo Pegasii (Vilita and Turori)                       18.252
143 #TG84 - Trevon Gallegos (Abanhfleft)                             18.254
144 #49 - Julian Thomas (South Hampton)                              18.286
145 #71 - Kip Whitaker (Washington)                                  18.290
146 #115 - Hayden Parker (East Hampton)                              18.317
147 #7IP - Ilmari Pëkannen (TJUN-ia)                                 18.337
148 #56 - Herk Tubman (Buckridge)                                    18.346
149 #13SC - Sage Caldwell (Saint Kanye)                              18.352
150 #C23 - Cocoabo #23 (Team Tropicorp)                              18.355
151 #69 - Gregory Wiff (North Hampton)                               18.371
152 #1XX - Elwood Atwater (West Hampton)                             18.378
153 #82 - Karsyn Bullock (East Hampton)                              18.435
154 #205 - Timmy Perkins (Hapilopper City)                           18.439
155 #03RJ - Maddison Riley-Jones (TJUN-ia)                           18.474
156 #44 - Andrew Watson (Hapilopper City)                            18.474
157 #114 - Eric Royston (Border City)                                18.479
158 #86 - Jay Donaldson (Peoria)                                     18.503
159 #61L - Larry Tatton (Hapilopper City)                            18.525

J-MAIN QUALIFIERS:
160 #42 - Steven Stafford (Buckridge)                                18.534
161 #36 - Ben Goddard (Jonesboro)                                    18.565
162 #70T - M.J. Terrell (Hapilopper City)                            18.583
163 #59DH - Derek Harwood (Newmanistan)                              18.583
164 #SK00 - Swell Kirby (Sixty-ninE X)                               18.590
165 #25V - Virgo Eustis (Kingsland)                                  18.735
166 #91 - Bernie Miller (Hapilopper City)                            18.860
167 #64AM - Alfonso Mercado (TJUN-ia)                                18.998
168 #62 - Louis-Gabriel Suchet (The French Army)                     19.095
169 #77 - Carson Peterson (Hapilopper City)                          19.101
170 #CT01 - Curtis Kirby (Sixty-ninE X)                              19.280

Tomorrow after I get home from an Easter Sunday event, scorination for races will start, kicking off with the J-Main.

by **Hapilopper** » Sat Apr 16, 2022 5:47 pm

NATHAN ELLIS ✓

@NateEllis
Hello @Jeremiah_B, that's a fine idea. Stop by the Team Hapilopper headquarters on McGuirk Street. I'll buy you and yours a dinner and I'll take you up on that offer.

#NSSCRA : #BigAssBash

by **The Sherpa Empire** » Sat Apr 16, 2022 7:03 pm

The only "water festival" Rinzi Zakhilwal wanted to go to was the squirt gun fight at the Big Ass Bash, so he was very put out when the Bash was cancelled. He refused to go to the Valentian Water Festival, citing religious objections, and now he was left hanging around Hapilopper with nothing to do.

Rinzi was from a region of the Sherpa Empire where some locals celebrated the same festival, but since it had Buddhist roots and his family were Muslim, he had never joined in. Sometimes his religious principles went out the window as soon as there was some revelry to join in, but not this time. This hit too close to home.

He went to see what Qiang was up to, only to find a couple of grimy-looking guys from the #44 crew deeply engrossed in a game of xiangqi. Qiang, his wives, their daughters, and the rest of the crew were nowhere to be found. One of the guys at the xiangqi board explained that they had gone to the water festival. "Since when are they Buddhist?" said Rinzi. "When I try to tell Qiang about Allah, he starts babbling about the Tao. He tells me it is not conscious, as if that could disprove the existence of God."

"Yeah, I think it was Mendok's idea to go," one of the crewmen said. "She's Buddhist."

Rinzi wandered around a little more, thinking how nice it would be if he had his own kids to play with. Then he could have squirt gun fights any time he wanted, Big Ass Bash or no. He had told himself he was checking to see what Qiang was up to, but now he realized that was not it. He wanted to see Kami and Sima, to see their smiling faces and hear their childish laughter.

He was lost in thought when a Hapiloppian boy tottered up to him and earnestly asked for an autograph. Rinzi smiled and spent several minutes talking with the boy. The boy's parents were nearby, and they looked delighted that their son was getting such personal attention. On a whim, Rinzi gave the kid a pair of sunglasses as well as the autograph. He could always buy another pair of sunglasses, but you could not buy more good memories.

by **Saint Kanye** » Sun Apr 17, 2022 6:46 am

"Hey hey, look who it is."

"The Cup Series' power couple."

"Enjoying the HNE so far, you two?"

"Yeah, lots to do for lovebirds, you know."

One of the notable moments of last season's edition of the Big Ass Bash is the arm wrestling match between Nathan "Nate" Ellis, the Hapiloppian soccer team's rough and tumble playing coach, and Jeremiah Brooke, the Yeezie star driver and all around nice guy. It ended with the latter beating the former, to the surprise of some of the other partygoers, but Nate was a good sport and wanted nothing more than a rematch during next season's Bash. Unfortunately, with Drake Stevenson cancelling his annual house party citing personal reasons, the two had to find another venue for their second arm wrestling battle. Nate suggested his team's headquarters at McGuirk Street, hence why Jeremiah was there the afternoon of the day after the Sharpe's Battleship 250, bringing Stacie and a large tub of homemade potato salad with him.

"Congrats on winning the TJUN 600, man! All hail the king!" midfielder James "Jimmy" Huddleston, an avid listener of NSSCRA radio broadcasts, told Jeremiah.

"Hey, I love your shirt! Where'd you get it?" said goalkeeper Billy Solomon, referring to the pink Team Hap #1 jersey that Stacie rocked that day.

"Oh, you're here!" Nate exclaimed as he walked into the players' lounge and saw the couple. He shook their hands, introduced them to the rest of the team, and gave them a quick tour of the facilities, all while having a chat about the ongoing NSSCRA season ("Hendo was amazing last night, we never really had an answer to her," said Jeremiah) and the recently concluded edition of AOCAF ("Tough break, but here's hoping you make a deeper playoff run next time," commented Stacie). After about thirty minutes, they returned to the lounge, where the other players are already waiting for them. The container of potato salad sat on a counter, and only about ten percent of its original contents remained.

"Wow, glad they liked it," Jeremiah said, feeling proud of his creation, before turning back to Nate. "So, shall we proceed with our battle?"

"Oh, I'm ready... are you?"

"Sure am!"

"Then let's do this."

The baller and the wheelman sat on opposite ends of one of the tables and locked their right hands together, all the while Stacie and the rest of Team Hap looked on. In front of them are two athletes in peak physical condition, household names in their respective sports. Jeremiah poured out all his strength, but so did Nate, and despite much straining and struggling, the latter would be able to pin the former's hand to the surface of the table. "Alright!" Nate exclaimed. Jeremiah wiped his brow; he put on a smile despite being defeated. There was much applause from most of the crowd, but not Stacie, who instead shouted "Hey! Why not a best of three?"

"Stace...." Jeremiah managed to blurt out, but then Jimmy interjected. "Yeah, give the lady what she wants!"

Nate shrugged. "Okay then." Jeremiah took a sip from the can of orange flavored Eon Energy that Stacie just handed him, and then the second round of arm wrestling began. The Yeezie then thought back to all the races in which he was able to pull off a last ditch win, and with the same fierce look of determination in his eyes, he stared his opponent down while pushing against his arm. It worked, and Jeremiah won, which prompted not only a do or die round but also some excited cheers from Stacie and some of the other players.

"Still up for it, Ellis?"

"You bet your ass I am, Brooke."

Once again, the two locked hands. If they were out on the racetrack, Nate would likely have been left in the dust; if this was the soccer field, Jeremiah would look utterly helpless (he played some kicky ball in grade school, but that's nothing compared to someone who's been to the freaking World Cup). But right now, they're evenly matched, their interlocked hands swaying in either direction. Jeremiah let out a low grunt, as if trying to steal first place from a tough competitor like Drake, Kai Qiang, or even Stacie herself, but Nate cried out "AAARGH!" like he was about to tear the head off one of his AOCAF or World Cup opponents. Somehow, those extra decibels provided an extra boost of power and enabled Nate to overpower Jeremiah, holding down his hand for the second time in three rounds. "Yeah! Hell yeah! F-ck yeah!" the Hapiloppian shouted.

"I admit defeat," Jeremiah spoke, putting an arm around his opponent. "Good game, bro."

"You too, I gotta admit. Hey, why don't I still treat you and your lady to dinner, as I have promised in my twii? Lots of good places to eat right here in Hap City."

"We'd love that, right Stace?"

No reply.

"Stacie?"

"Hold on, Brooky, we're not done here! I wanna arm wrestle too. You and me, what do you say?" Stacie said, turning to defender Ashley Stanford, who was very much a female version of Nate as far as physicality is concerned.

by **Sixty-ninE X** » Sun Apr 17, 2022 5:23 pm

'Well, it could have been worse right?' Ilya Tsunopin said to his friends, Curtis and Swell Kirby, as they finally got to rest a bit. The hometown trio, who had come from the heart of 69X City, were happy to see each other in middle of Hapilopper again, and this time the results were slightly better for Ilya, who had an unexpectedly tough crash out of the off-road Sharpe's Battleship 250, as he walked out of the time trial with a 23th-best time. Not bad, he thought. In a list that also featured the likes of Chris Holmes, two Valentians and Thea among the sea of Hapiloppians, he was more than satisfied.

'B-*3, shut up,' answered Swell Kirby, his googly eyes hiding the clear display of frustration he held on the deeper ridges of his voice. To be fair, you can't really blame Curtis for feeling unsatisfied with his friend's response, for Curtis and Swell, who woke up drunk and hungover for last few days in this beautiful country of Hapilopper, finished on the J-Mains. '170th out of 170th is no joke mate. Who the hell toldja to speak like that?'

'Calm down bro, it's just a race.' Curtis, the wiser of Kirby brothers, said back at them, trying to rein some calm into his brother. 'Think of it this way, it could have gotten lot worse. Time trial is a time trial and it really doesn't matter if you a G-Main or finish last - only four qualify anyway.' The last part, of course, happened to come with a bit of sobering reminder - it was Curtis, not Swell, who did finish last after all.

'Anyways, guys. Let's not panic.' Ilya said. As with the Kirby brothers, Ilya was thinking about how he's going to handle the excitements when the three of them were going to be out having fun for two days of uncontrolled, naked fun at the Race Days in the Super Pit. This part of Ilya was something that even the possibility of spending the night together with Kai Qiang would stop him from achieving, and Ilya, after past couple of weeks filled with stress and professional commitment as the Gale Force Racing's R&D Driver, could use some time to steam off. 'Let's just think a bit more about how we are going to dress up when Fat Dude and Holy Shit Derecho will be out on the stage. Should we just wear hot pink, go for rainbow, or just do black and white?'

'Well that's tomorrow's problem,' said Curtis, as he gently stroked his metallic stomach. 'You've seen how many clothes we brought just for this race right?'

That immediately brought Ilya to realise what had happened. '....fuck, you brought the fluorescent firesuit didn't you?' he asked. 'The legendary fluorescent firesuit with a condom-shaped pair of leather shoes???'

'You know it,' answered Curtis, as Swell immediately drew a facepalm at his brother's insistence to embarrass himself even further. 'We are going to make some noise, get people to be proud of us, and eventually sign up for this shit.' The 69Xer trio continued to chat and banter, and then moved to the Gale Force Racing garage to say hi to Jeremiah, Stacie and Thea. Swell and Curtis were glad to meet Ilya's friends and teammates, who not only were very chill and lovely people, but also really loved what they were doing. And while none of them had talked about several elephants lying about in the room, this ended up being a good hour or two of hanging out.

by **Hapilopper** » Sun Apr 17, 2022 6:00 pm

The Berman Brothers Classic, Phase Two: Heat Races.

This is your cutoff. Heat race results will show up as they happen.

J-MAIN RESULTS:
 1 #CT01 - Curtis Kirby (Sixty-ninE X)                3:17.188 - ADVANCES
 2 #64AM - Alfonso Mercado (TJUN-ia)                  3:20.554 - ADVANCES
 3 #SK00 - Swell Kirby (Sixty-ninE X)                 3:22.747 - ADVANCES
 4 #62 - Louis-Gabriel Suchet (The French Army)       3:22.947 - ADVANCES
 5 #77 - Carson Peterson (Hapilopper City)            3:30.617
 6 #59DH - Derek Harwood (Newmanistan)                3:31.846
 7 #91 - Bernie Miller (Hapilopper City)              3:33.440
 8 #36 - Ben Goddard (Jonesboro)                      3:34.693
 9 #25V - Virgo Eustis (Kingsland)                    3:34.972
10 #42 - Steven Stafford (Buckridge)                  3:36.276
 — #70T - M.J. Terrell (Hapilopper City)            DNF lap 10

I-MAIN RESULTS:
 1 #13SC - Sage Caldwell (Saint Kanye)                3:22.958 - ADVANCES
 2 #62 - Louis-Gabriel Suchet (The French Army)       3:22.979 - ADVANCES
 3 #03RJ - Maddison Riley-Jones (TJUN-ia)             3:23.949 - ADVANCES
 4 #37 - Jama'obo Pegasii (Vilita and Turori)         3:24.226 - ADVANCES
 5 #CT01 - Curtis Kirby (Sixty-ninE X)                3:25.383
 6 #115 - Hayden Parker (East Hampton)                3:26.153
 7 #7IP - Ilmari Pëkannen (TJUN-ia)                   3:26.639
 8 #C23 - Cocoabo #23 (Team Tropicorp)                3:27.299
 9 #86 - Jay Donaldson (Peoria)                       3:27.433
10 #64AM - Alfonso Mercado (TJUN-ia)                  3:28.676
11 #TG84 - Trevon Gallegos (Abanhfleft)               3:29.661
12 #44 - Andrew Watson (Hapilopper City)              3:29.973
13 #40Y - Ongmu Yeti (The Sherpa Empire)              3:31.158
14 #1XX - Elwood Atwater (West Hampton)               3:32.076
15 #69 - Gregory Wiff (North Hampton)                 3:32.382
16 #61L - Larry Tatton (Hapilopper City)              3:33.043
17 #49 - Julian Thomas (South Hampton)                3:34.155
18 #SK00 - Swell Kirby (Sixty-ninE X)                 3:34.889
19 #01 - Byron Raynard (Hapilopper City)              3:34.913
20 #82 - Karsyn Bullock (East Hampton)                3:35.218
21 #71 - Kip Whitaker (Washington)                    3:35.624
22 #114 - Eric Royston (Border City)                  3:36.696
23 #56 - Herk Tubman (Buckridge)                      3:37.166
24 #205 - Timmy Perkins (Hapilopper City)             3:37.211

H-MAIN RESULTS:
 1 #03RJ - Maddison Riley-Jones (TJUN-ia)             3:23.674 - ADVANCES
 2 #62 - Louis-Gabriel Suchet (The French Army)       3:24.027 - ADVANCES
 3 #24K - Kurt Jernigan (Surrey)                      3:24.109 - ADVANCES
 4 #37 - Jama'obo Pegasii (Vilita and Turori)         3:27.276 - ADVANCES
 5 #13SC - Sage Caldwell (Saint Kanye)                3:27.981
 6 #59 - Bob Reynolds (East Hampton)                  3:28.117
 7 #AK47 - Agata Kosaryova (Abanhfleft)               3:28.192
 8 #52 - Tony Earnest (Buckridge)                     3:30.101
 9 #60 - Caleb Forrest (Hapilopper City)              3:32.312
10 #300 - Clancy Faulk (Buckridge)                    3:32.466
11 #6 - Bernie Montgomery (North Hampton)             3:33.717
12 #32 - Jack Bradley (East Hampton)                  3:33.952
13 #31 - Jim Slade (Pinkerton)                        3:34.909
14 #38 - Tom Newton (Hapilopper City)                 3:35.328
15 #92L - Fred Little (Washington)                    3:35.508
16 #000 - Zack Geneva (Hapilopper City)               3:35.623
17 #3 - Seth Brooks (Hapilopper City)                 3:35.866
18 #12D - Dick Wallace (Hapilopper City)              3:36.045
19 #13MB - Milton Benton (Hapilopper City)            3:36.303
20 #52X - Dr. Johnny Earnest (Buckridge)              3:36.603
21 #4CRT - Pyotr Lavrentiev (Saint Kanye)             3:37.059
22 #72 - Buster Fields (Hapilopper City)              3:37.494
23 #81 - Devin Whitaker (Hapilopper City)             3:39.824
24 #88 - Mike Hudson (North Hampton)                    −1 lap

G-MAIN RESULTS:
 1 #03RJ - Maddison Riley-Jones (TJUN-ia)             3:13.163 - ADVANCES
 2 #116 - Julie Forest (Kingsland)                    3:15.972 - ADVANCES
 3 #ZS5 - Shuzhen Zhu (The Sherpa Empire)             3:21.345 - ADVANCES
 4 #37 - Jama'obo Pegasii (Vilita and Turori)         3:21.557 - ADVANCES
 5 #18JB - Jeremiah Brooke (Saint Kanye)              3:23.747
 6 #41T - Yraaga Gilli'i (Team Tropicorp)             3:24.080
 7 #5LL - Liangmei Li (Newmanistan)                   3:24.311
 8 #87V - Kizara Mo'aaki (Vilita and Turori)          3:28.774
 9 #96AJ - Alice Jepkosgei (TJUN-ia)                  3:29.052
10 #7C - Clarissa Alanis Star (Valentine Z)           3:29.976
11 #C78 - Cocoabo #78 (Team Tropicorp)                3:30.942
12 #98 - Neville Barclay (Buckridge)                  3:32.032
13 #24K - Kurt Jernigan (Surrey)                      3:32.269
14 #89jr - Wilson Benedict, Jr. (Buckridge)           3:32.587
15 #87 - Roddy Smith (West Hampton)                   3:32.704
16 #12 - Gale Patterson (Hapilopper City)             3:33.507
17 #41 - William Holmes (Hapilopper City)             3:34.773
18 #77S - Mike Sloan (Buckridge)                      3:34.956
19 #62 - Louis-Gabriel Suchet (The French Army)         −1 lap
20 #48 - Wes Wayland (Hapilopper City)                  −1 lap
21 #RG3 - Glen Reid (Saint Kanye)                       −1 lap
22 #1Z - Zach Ryland (Hapilopper City)                  −1 lap
23 #48RC - Ryan Carroll (Newmanistan)                   −1 lap
 — #80B - Anton Bruce (Buckridge)                    DNF lap 9

Following Anton Bruce's accident on Lap 9 of the G-Main, a red flag has been shown to repair the track. Track crews will also take some time to work on the track. Driver is OK.

F-MAIN RESULTS:
 1 #48AM -Ashley Matthews (Newmanistan)             4:59.872 - ADVANCES
 2 #ZS5 - Shuzhen Zhu (The Sherpa Empire)           5:01.660 - ADVANCES
 3 #18T - Tyson Hoyt (Buckridge)                    5:02.949 - ADVANCES
 4 #27SH - Stacie Houston (Saint Kanye)             5:04.960 - ADVANCES
 5 #7T - Toby Street (Hapilopper City)              5:06.629
 6 #83 - Victor Cross (Buckridge)                   5:11.385
 7 #95 - Sam Garey (East Hampton)                   5:13.906
 8 #1X - Jill Singletary (Saint Kanye)              5:13.934
 9 #39 - Wallace Diggory (Buckridge)                5:14.285
10 #37 - Jama'obo Pegasii (Vilita and Turori)       5:14.722
11 #7X - Sid Gabriel (Buckridge)                    5:14.997
12 #XXX - Lexi Patterson (Saint Kanye)              5:15.069
13 #47 - Edmund Flanders (Buckridge)                5:15.479
14 #80 - Tolly Sempers (Buckridge)                  5:17.401
15 #13 - Brent Francis (Hapilopper City)            5:18.875
16 #116 - Julie Forest (Kingsland)                  5:19.562
17 #06S - Bret Summerfield (Hapilopper City)        5:19.625
18 #34 - Ken Sacheverell (Hapilopper City)          5:21.481
19 #03RJ - Maddison Riley-Jones (TJUN-ia)           5:23.412
20 #84T - Tyrone Lane (West Hampton)                  −1 lap
21 #94 - Timmy Byrne (Buckridge)                      −1 lap
22 #5 - Glenn Oliver (Buckridge)                      −1 lap
23 #65 - Robert Franklin (Buckridge)                  −1 lap
 — #54 - Ricky Gadsden (Hapilopper City)          DNF lap 13

E-MAIN RESULTS:
 1 #ZS5 - Shuzhen Zhu (The Sherpa Empire)                  4:52.729 - ADVANCES
 2 #69hot Jeszi Hotoniia (Team Tropicorp)                  4:59.129 - ADVANCES
 3 #55H - Holly Aurora Lapia Starlight (Valentine Z)       5:00.638 - ADVANCES
 4 #7 - Juracai Klianiota (Vilita and Turori)              5:02.665 - ADVANCES
 5 #420 - "Forest Rider" (Hapilopper City)                 5:08.390
 6 #052 - Rudy Albertson (Kingsland)                       5:08.781
 7 #30 - Nathan Ewart (Garvinson)                          5:10.357
 8 #22 - Dale Ward (Hapilopper City)                       5:10.689
 9 #54H - Scott Hawking (Halsted)                          5:11.799
10 #93 - D.J. Garvin (Border City)                         5:12.012
11 #41X - Tommy Holmes (Hapilopper City)                   5:12.695
12 #27SH - Stacie Houston (Saint Kanye)                      −1 lap
13 #90 - Todd Brooks (Hapilopper City)                       −1 lap
14 #07KS - Kaarina Salo (Kimi-Suomi)                         −1 lap
15 #2 - Pete Harrison (Hapilopper City)                      −1 lap
16 #48AM -Ashley Matthews (Newmanistan)                      −1 lap
17 #79 - Drew Keegan (West Hampton)                          −1 lap
18 #Q17 - Kai Qiang (The Sherpa Empire)                      −1 lap
19 #10 - Connie Gilbert (West Hampton)                       −1 lap
20 #18T - Tyson Hoyt (Buckridge)                             −1 lap
21 #63 - Eddie Donovan (Buckridge)                           −1 lap
22 #23 - Umbala Trisirala (Vilita and Turori)                −1 lap
23 #85 - Dave Talbot (Buckridge)                             −1 lap
 — #C17 - Tsering Chu (The Sherpa Empire)                 DNF lap 1

D-MAIN RESULTS:
 1 #ZS5 - Shuzhen Zhu (The Sherpa Empire)                  6:45.937 - ADVANCES
 2 #58KK - Koshiro Kawai (Abanhfleft)                      6:46.960 - ADVANCES
 3 #55H - Holly Aurora Lapia Starlight (Valentine Z)       6:48.857 - ADVANCES
 4 #050 - Owen Archer (Hapilopper City)                    6:49.829 - ADVANCES
 5 #K97 - Rulita Kikaba (Vilita and Turori)                6:53.392 - ADVANCES
 6 #7 - Juracai Klianiota (Vilita and Turori)              6:57.574 - ADVANCES
 7 #51 - Roosevelt Jenkins (Garvinson)                     6:57.925 - ADVANCES
 8 #77M - Marcus Alan Ariel Reynolds (Valentine Z)         6:58.152 - ADVANCES
 9 #63 - Jean Lannes (The French Army)                     6:58.537
10 #3A - Arnold Farrell (Pinkerton)                        6:59.085
11 #45 - Darwin Smith (Buckridge)                          6:59.246
12 #67 - Andrew Arrington (Garvinson)                      6:59.363
13 #2T - Centur Tiones (Team Tropicorp)                    7:00.048
14 #27 - Ned Clifton (West Hampton)                        7:00.099
15 #051 - Gary Savidge (East Hampton)                      7:01.613
16 #24CT - Chelsea Taylor (Newmanistan)                    7:03.764
17 #8B - Frank Bronson (Hapilopper City)                   7:04.184
18 #71AK - Aurelia Karvonen (Kimi-Suomi)                   7:04.402
19 #120 - Lennox Solomon (Buckridge)                       7:05.323
20 #8x - Petanz Towwrignii (Vilita and Turori)             7:05.990
21 #96 - Victor Pain (Hapilopper City)                     7:06.870
22 #99RL - Ricky Lee (Saint Kanye)                           −1 lap
23 #69hot Jeszi Hotoniia (Team Tropicorp)                    −1 lap
 — #1 - Steve Shepherd (Buckridge)                       DNF lap 18

C-MAIN RESULTS:
 1 #IT45 - Ilya Tsunopin (Sixty-ninE X)                                6:46.439 - ADVANCES
 2 #55 - Ashley Milton (Hapilopper City)                               6:47.766 - ADVANCES
 3 #55H - Holly Aurora Lapia Starlight (Valentine Z)                   6:48.176 - ADVANCES
 4 #20 - Clancy Winston (Garvinson)                                    6:49.017 - ADVANCES
 5 #84 - Jared Lane (West Hampton)                                     6:51.323 - ADVANCES
 6 #43 - Courtney Cornell (East Hampton)                               6:51.393 - ADVANCES
 7 #46TA - Thea Alvarez (Saint Kanye)                                  6:54.463 - ADVANCES
 8 #K97 - Rulita Kikaba (Vilita and Turori)                            6:55.804 - ADVANCES
 9 #053 - Todd Miller (Border City)                                    6:56.432 - LAST CHANCE RACE
10 #77M - Marcus Alan Ariel Reynolds (Valentine Z)                     6:57.069 - LAST CHANCE RACE
11 #31GTA - Gwen Tracer Allison Oxton (Valentine Z)                    7:00.604  - LAST CHANCE RACE
12 #50GP - Rudy Edwards (Hapilopper City)                              7:02.771  - LAST CHANCE RACE
13 #7 - Juracai Klianiota (Vilita and Turori)                          7:02.964  - LAST CHANCE RACE
14 #51 - Roosevelt Jenkins (Garvinson)                                 7:03.158  - LAST CHANCE RACE
15 #58KK - Koshiro Kawai (Abanhfleft)                                  7:05.248  - LAST CHANCE RACE
16 #0 - Alex Remington (Pinkerton)                                     7:07.590  - LAST CHANCE RACE
17 #14 - Grayson Fisher (Jonesboro)                                    7:09.216  - LAST CHANCE RACE
18 #8 - Chris Holmes (Hapilopper City)                                   −1 lap  - LAST CHANCE RACE
19 #10VV - Valkyrie Valentijn Samantha Constantine (Valentine Z)         −1 lap  - LAST CHANCE RACE
20 #ZS5 - Shuzhen Zhu (The Sherpa Empire)                                −1 lap  - LAST CHANCE RACE
21 #050 - Owen Archer (Hapilopper City)                                  −1 lap  - LAST CHANCE RACE
22 #74 - Rod Randolph (Hapilopper City)                                  −1 lap  - LAST CHANCE RACE
23 #80GZ - Ganglie Zhe (Abanhfleft)                                      −1 lap  - LAST CHANCE RACE
24 #40 - Rataba'ii Muspriin (Vilita and Turori)                          −1 lap  - LAST CHANCE RACE
25 #64 - Scott Grabold (Hapilopper City)                                 −1 lap  - LAST CHANCE RACE
 — #75 - Bob Daubney (Hapilopper City)                               DNF lap 18  - LAST CHANCE RACE
   #G0 - Gavin Ogden (Saint Kanye)                                   DNF lap 16  - LAST CHANCE RACE
   #89 - Wilson Benedict (Buckridge)                                  DNF lap 2  - LAST CHANCE RACE

B-MAIN RESULTS:
 1 #LH1 - Leuhuais (Jouoangquoi)                           8:27.895 - ADVANCES
 2 #IT45 - Ilya Tsunopin (Sixty-ninE X)                    8:28.309 - ADVANCES
 3 #46TA - Thea Alvarez (Saint Kanye)                      8:29.227 - ADVANCES
 4 #K97 - Rulita Kikaba (Vilita and Turori)                8:31.543 - ADVANCES
 5 #69MG - Max Gannon (Saint Kanye)                        8:33.482 - ADVANCES
 6 #43 - Courtney Cornell (East Hampton)                   8:33.542 - ADVANCES
 7 #55H - Holly Aurora Lapia Starlight (Valentine Z)       8:34.643 - ADVANCES
 8 #70 - Dewey Savage (Peoria)                             8:41.792 - ADVANCES
 9 #84 - Jared Lane (West Hampton)                         8:41.894 - ADVANCES
10 #24 - Hugh Walker (Buckridge)                           8:42.236 - ADVANCES
11 #61 - Joachim Murat (The French Army)                   8:43.201 - LAST CHANCE RACE
12 #20 - Clancy Winston (Garvinson)                        8:44.230 - LAST CHANCE RACE
13 #70GG - Gongming Gao (North China)                      8:44.417 - LAST CHANCE RACE
14 #92 - Maggie Rodgers (Peoria)                           8:47.063 - LAST CHANCE RACE
15 #00 - Colin Meredith (Pinkerton)                        8:49.679 - LAST CHANCE RACE
16 #WC98 - Wilma von Cärinthen (Abanhfleft)                  −1 lap - LAST CHANCE RACE
17 #97RD - Robin Dragonovic (South Newlandia)                −1 lap - LAST CHANCE RACE
18 #D20 - Daryl Calhoun (Saint Kanye)                        −1 lap - LAST CHANCE RACE
19 #19 - Lewis Hooper (Buckridge)                            −1 lap - LAST CHANCE RACE
20 #39RY - Rustam Yudin (Abanhfleft)                         −1 lap - LAST CHANCE RACE
21 #55 - Ashley Milton (Hapilopper City)                     −1 lap - LAST CHANCE RACE
22 #LB42 - Leo Baxter (Abanhfleft)                           −1 lap - LAST CHANCE RACE
23 #02 - Mike Malone (Garvinson)                            −2 laps - LAST CHANCE RACE

POLE POSITION SCRAMBLE RESULTS:
1 #38LC - Lam Chow-Cheung (TJUN-ia)                     1:51.037 - STARTING 1st, A-MAIN
2 #07MS - Michael Stefan (TJUN-ia)                      1:51.195 - STARTING 2nd, A-MAIN
3 #DC23 - David Clarke (Abanhfleft)                     1:53.353 - STARTING 3rd, A-MAIN
4 #06 - Rinzi Aogar Zakhilwal (The Sherpa Empire)       1:54.387 - STARTING 4th, A-MAIN

LAST CHANCE RACE RESULTS:
 1 #14 - Grayson Fisher (Jonesboro)                                    9:05.406 - ADVANCES TO A-MAIN
 2 #50GP - Rudy Edwards (Hapilopper City)                              9:06.960 - ADVANCES TO A-MAIN
 3 #053 - Todd Miller (Border City)                                    9:07.457 - ADVANCES TO A-MAIN
 4 #G0 - Gavin Ogden (Saint Kanye)                                     9:09.491 - ADVANCES TO A-MAIN
 5 #55 - Ashley Milton (Hapilopper City)                               9:09.497 - ADVANCES TO A-MAIN
 6 #97RD - Robin Dragonovic (South Newlandia)                          9:09.994 - ADVANCES TO A-MAIN
 7 #ZS5 - Shuzhen Zhu (The Sherpa Empire)                              9:10.022 - ADVANCES TO A-MAIN
 8 #00 - Colin Meredith (Pinkerton)                                    9:10.422 - ADVANCES TO A-MAIN
 9 #31GTA - Gwen Tracer Allison Oxton (Valentine Z)                    9:10.771 - ADVANCES TO A-MAIN
10 #92 - Maggie Rodgers (Peoria)                                       9:12.042 - ADVANCES TO A-MAIN
11 #80GZ - Ganglie Zhe (Abanhfleft)                                    9:12.625 - CONSOLATION RACE
12 #8 - Chris Holmes (Hapilopper City)                                 9:13.152 - CONSOLATION RACE
13 #40 - Rataba'ii Muspriin (Vilita and Turori)                        9:13.280 - CONSOLATION RACE
14 #77M - Marcus Alan Ariel Reynolds (Valentine Z)                     9:13.682 - CONSOLATION RACE
15 #75 - Bob Daubney (Hapilopper City)                                 9:13.944 - CONSOLATION RACE
16 #64 - Scott Grabold (Hapilopper City)                               9:14.313 - CONSOLATION RACE
17 #7 - Juracai Klianiota (Vilita and Turori)                          9:15.152 - CONSOLATION RACE
18 #050 - Owen Archer (Hapilopper City)                                9:16.198 - CONSOLATION RACE
19 #10VV - Valkyrie Valentijn Samantha Constantine (Valentine Z)       9:16.242 - CONSOLATION RACE
20 #70GG - Gongming Gao (North China)                                  9:16.541 - CONSOLATION RACE
21 #39RY - Rustam Yudin (Abanhfleft)                                   9:16.765 - CONSOLATION RACE
22 #89 - Wilson Benedict (Buckridge)                                   9:16.945 - CONSOLATION RACE
23 #LB42 - Leo Baxter (Abanhfleft)                                     9:16.971 - CONSOLATION RACE
24 #D20 - Daryl Calhoun (Saint Kanye)                                  9:17.452 - CONSOLATION RACE
25 #61 - Joachim Murat (The French Army)                               9:17.463 - CONSOLATION RACE
26 #WC98 - Wilma von Cärinthen (Abanhfleft)                            9:17.496 - CONSOLATION RACE
27 #74 - Rod Randolph (Hapilopper City)                                9:17.791 - CONSOLATION RACE
28 #58KK - Koshiro Kawai (Abanhfleft)                                  9:17.971 - CONSOLATION RACE
29 #20 - Clancy Winston (Garvinson)                                    9:18.083 - CONSOLATION RACE
30 #0 - Alex Remington (Pinkerton)                                     9:18.185
31 #19 - Lewis Hooper (Buckridge)                                      9:19.455
32 #02 - Mike Malone (Garvinson)                                       9:21.388
33 #51 - Roosevelt Jenkins (Garvinson)                                 9:23.111

CONSOLATION RACE RESULTS:
 1 #70GG - Gongming Gao (North China)                                  9:08.883 - ADVANCES TO A-MAIN
 2 #58KK - Koshiro Kawai (Abanhfleft)                                  9:11.089 - ADVANCES TO A-MAIN
 3 #WC98 - Wilma von Cärinthen (Abanhfleft)                            9:11.181 - ADVANCES TO A-MAIN
 4 #050 - Owen Archer (Hapilopper City)                                9:12.108 - ADVANCES TO A-MAIN
 5 #7 - Juracai Klianiota (Vilita and Turori)                          9:12.347 - ADVANCES TO A-MAIN
 6 #64 - Scott Grabold (Hapilopper City)                               9:14.873 - ADVANCES TO A-MAIN
 7 #10VV - Valkyrie Valentijn Samantha Constantine (Valentine Z)       9:14.897
 8 #20 - Clancy Winston (Garvinson)                                    9:15.358
 9 #LB42 - Leo Baxter (Abanhfleft)                                     9:15.637
10 #80GZ - Ganglie Zhe (Abanhfleft)                                    9:16.010
11 #74 - Rod Randolph (Hapilopper City)                                9:16.013
12 #8 - Chris Holmes (Hapilopper City)                                 9:17.416
13 #75 - Bob Daubney (Hapilopper City)                                 9:17.519
14 #61 - Joachim Murat (The French Army)                               9:17.600
15 #40 - Rataba'ii Muspriin (Vilita and Turori)                        9:17.792
16 #89 - Wilson Benedict (Buckridge)                                   9:19.435
17 #77M - Marcus Alan Ariel Reynolds (Valentine Z)                     9:22.947
18 #39RY - Rustam Yudin (Abanhfleft)                                   9:24.160
 — #D20 - Daryl Calhoun (Saint Kanye)                                 DNF lap 4

by **Hapilopper** » Sun Apr 17, 2022 7:30 pm

The Berman Brothers Classic, Phase Three: The Main Event.

This is your cutoff. This is a 100-lap race. This race will be scorinated NSSCRA-style.

STARTING GRID, THE BERMAN BROS. CLASSIC:
ROW 1:
1: #38LC - Lam Chow-Cheung (TJUN-ia)
2: #07MS - Michael Stefan (TJUN-ia)

ROW 2:
3: #DC23 - David Clarke (Abanhfleft)
4: #06 - Rinzi Aogar Zakhilwal (The Sherpa Empire)

ROW 3:
5: #LH1 - Leuhuais (Jouoangquoi)
6: #IT45 - Ilya Tsunopin (Sixty-ninE X)

ROW 4:
7: #46TA - Thea Alvarez (Saint Kanye)
8: #K97 - Rulita Kikaba (Vilita and Turori)

ROW 5:
9: #69MG - Max Gannon (Saint Kanye)
10: #43 - Courtney Cornell (East Hampton)

ROW 6:
11: #55H - Holly Aurora Lapia Starlight (Valentine Z)
12: #70 - Dewey Savage (Peoria)

ROW 7:
13: #84 - Jared Lane (West Hampton)
14: #24 - Hugh Walker (Buckridge)

ROW 8:
15: #14 - Grayson Fisher (Jonesboro)
16: #50GP - Rudy Edwards (Hapilopper City)  

ROW 9:
17: #053 - Todd Miller (Border City)
18: #G0 - Gavin Ogden (Saint Kanye)

ROW 10:
19: #55 - Ashley Milton (Hapilopper City)
20: #97RD - Robin Dragonovic (South Newlandia)

ROW 11:
21: #ZS5 - Shuzhen Zhu (The Sherpa Empire)
22: #00 - Colin Meredith (Pinkerton)

ROW 12:
23: #31GTA - Gwen Tracer Allison Oxton (Valentine Z)
24: #92 - Maggie Rodgers (Peoria)

ROW 13:
25: #70GG - Gongming Gao (North China)
26: #58KK - Koshiro Kawai (Abanhfleft)

ROW 14:
27: #WC98 - Wilma von Cärinthen (Abanhfleft)
28: #050 - Owen Archer (Hapilopper City)

ROW 15:
29: #7 - Juracai Klianiota (Vilita and Turori)
30: #64 - Scott Grabold (Hapilopper City)

Final Results:
(NOTE: DNF Cutoff: 21.500 sec)

SEGMENT 1:

THE BERMAN BROS. CLASSIC
 1 #97RD - Robin Dragonovic (South Newlandia)           17.260
 2 #00 - Colin Meredith (Pinkerton)                     17.267
 3 #14 - Grayson Fisher (Jonesboro)                     17.342
 4 #55 - Ashley Milton (Hapilopper City)                17.361
 5 #70GG - Gongming Gao (North China)                   17.397
 6 #053 - Todd Miller (Border City)                     17.436
 7 #ZS5 - Shuzhen Zhu (The Sherpa Empire)               17.462
 8 #24 - Hugh Walker (Buckridge)                        17.463
 9 #55H - Holly Aurora Lapia Starlight (Valentine Z)    17.472
10 #DC23 - David Clarke (Abanhfleft)                    17.473
11 #84 - Jared Lane (West Hampton)                      17.479
12 #69MG - Max Gannon (Saint Kanye)                     17.519
13 #43 - Courtney Cornell (East Hampton)                17.597
14 #46TA - Thea Alvarez (Saint Kanye)                   17.635
15 #07MS - Michael Stefan (TJUN-ia)                     17.710
16 #7 - Juracai Klianiota (Vilita and Turori)           17.740
17 #06 - Rinzi Aogar Zakhilwal (The Sherpa Empire)      17.816
18 #31GTA - Gwen Tracer Allison Oxton (Valentine Z)     18.003
19 #58KK - Koshiro Kawai (Abanhfleft)                   18.021
20 #050 - Owen Archer (Hapilopper City)                 18.115
21 #LH1 - Leuhuais (Jouoangquoi)                        18.457
22 #50GP - Rudy Edwards (Hapilopper City)               18.822
23 #92 - Maggie Rodgers (Peoria)                        18.916
24 #38LC - Lam Chow-Cheung (TJUN-ia)                    19.178
25 #IT45 - Ilya Tsunopin (Sixty-ninE X)                 19.692
26 #70 - Dewey Savage (Peoria)                          19.807
27 #64 - Scott Grabold (Hapilopper City)                19.958
28 #WC98 - Wilma von Cärinthen (Abanhfleft)             20.092
29 #K97 - Rulita Kikaba (Vilita and Turori)             20.123
30 #G0 - Gavin Ogden (Saint Kanye)                      21.943 - DNF

SEGMENT 2:

THE BERMAN BROS. CLASSIC
 1 #050 - Owen Archer (Hapilopper City)                 17.250
 2 #00 - Colin Meredith (Pinkerton)                     17.260
 3 #97RD - Robin Dragonovic (South Newlandia)           17.268
 4 #69MG - Max Gannon (Saint Kanye)                     17.286
 5 #IT45 - Ilya Tsunopin (Sixty-ninE X)                 17.372
 6 #07MS - Michael Stefan (TJUN-ia)                     17.426
 7 #053 - Todd Miller (Border City)                     17.635
 8 #70GG - Gongming Gao (North China)                   17.749
 9 #58KK - Koshiro Kawai (Abanhfleft)                   17.816
10 #55H - Holly Aurora Lapia Starlight (Valentine Z)    17.833
11 #50GP - Rudy Edwards (Hapilopper City)               18.067
12 #70 - Dewey Savage (Peoria)                          18.083
13 #7 - Juracai Klianiota (Vilita and Turori)           18.156
14 #DC23 - David Clarke (Abanhfleft)                    18.381
15 #06 - Rinzi Aogar Zakhilwal (The Sherpa Empire)      18.381
16 #84 - Jared Lane (West Hampton)                      18.590
17 #55 - Ashley Milton (Hapilopper City)                18.605
18 #WC98 - Wilma von Cärinthen (Abanhfleft)             18.751
19 #64 - Scott Grabold (Hapilopper City)                19.375
20 #K97 - Rulita Kikaba (Vilita and Turori)             19.526
21 #43 - Courtney Cornell (East Hampton)                19.599
22 #92 - Maggie Rodgers (Peoria)                        19.964
23 #14 - Grayson Fisher (Jonesboro)                     20.310
24 #31GTA - Gwen Tracer Allison Oxton (Valentine Z)     20.460
25 #LH1 - Leuhuais (Jouoangquoi)                        20.678
26 #46TA - Thea Alvarez (Saint Kanye)                   21.234
27 #38LC - Lam Chow-Cheung (TJUN-ia)                    21.314
28 #ZS5 - Shuzhen Zhu (The Sherpa Empire)               22.093 - DNF
29 #24 - Hugh Walker (Buckridge)                        22.468 - DNF

SEGMENT 3:

THE BERMAN BROS. CLASSIC
 1 #WC98 - Wilma von Cärinthen (Abanhfleft)             17.226
 2 #07MS - Michael Stefan (TJUN-ia)                     17.270
 3 #84 - Jared Lane (West Hampton)                      17.312
 4 #38LC - Lam Chow-Cheung (TJUN-ia)                    17.353
 5 #64 - Scott Grabold (Hapilopper City)                17.549
 6 #46TA - Thea Alvarez (Saint Kanye)                   17.719
 7 #43 - Courtney Cornell (East Hampton)                17.919
 8 #58KK - Koshiro Kawai (Abanhfleft)                   17.974
 9 #053 - Todd Miller (Border City)                     17.983
10 #00 - Colin Meredith (Pinkerton)                     18.185
11 #050 - Owen Archer (Hapilopper City)                 18.451
12 #DC23 - David Clarke (Abanhfleft)                    18.475
13 #55 - Ashley Milton (Hapilopper City)                18.509
14 #IT45 - Ilya Tsunopin (Sixty-ninE X)                 18.547
15 #69MG - Max Gannon (Saint Kanye)                     18.568
16 #97RD - Robin Dragonovic (South Newlandia)           18.625
17 #55H - Holly Aurora Lapia Starlight (Valentine Z)    18.784
18 #K97 - Rulita Kikaba (Vilita and Turori)             18.895
19 #14 - Grayson Fisher (Jonesboro)                     18.943
20 #92 - Maggie Rodgers (Peoria)                        19.059
21 #70 - Dewey Savage (Peoria)                          19.152
22 #50GP - Rudy Edwards (Hapilopper City)               19.450
23 #31GTA - Gwen Tracer Allison Oxton (Valentine Z)     19.573
24 #7 - Juracai Klianiota (Vilita and Turori)           20.460
25 #LH1 - Leuhuais (Jouoangquoi)                        21.283
26 #70GG - Gongming Gao (North China)                   22.164 - DNF
27 #06 - Rinzi Aogar Zakhilwal (The Sherpa Empire)      22.494 - DNF

SEGMENT 4:

THE BERMAN BROS. CLASSIC
 1 #DC23 - David Clarke (Abanhfleft)                    17.282
 2 #92 - Maggie Rodgers (Peoria)                        17.293
 3 #38LC - Lam Chow-Cheung (TJUN-ia)                    17.304
 4 #58KK - Koshiro Kawai (Abanhfleft)                   17.357
 5 #50GP - Rudy Edwards (Hapilopper City)               17.472
 6 #LH1 - Leuhuais (Jouoangquoi)                        17.588
 7 #84 - Jared Lane (West Hampton)                      17.647
 8 #14 - Grayson Fisher (Jonesboro)                     17.648
 9 #053 - Todd Miller (Border City)                     17.655
10 #55 - Ashley Milton (Hapilopper City)                17.692
11 #69MG - Max Gannon (Saint Kanye)                     17.694
12 #31GTA - Gwen Tracer Allison Oxton (Valentine Z)     17.745
13 #07MS - Michael Stefan (TJUN-ia)                     17.942
14 #K97 - Rulita Kikaba (Vilita and Turori)             17.986
15 #55H - Holly Aurora Lapia Starlight (Valentine Z)    18.225
16 #97RD - Robin Dragonovic (South Newlandia)           18.234
17 #46TA - Thea Alvarez (Saint Kanye)                   18.349
18 #43 - Courtney Cornell (East Hampton)                18.945
19 #050 - Owen Archer (Hapilopper City)                 19.272
20 #70 - Dewey Savage (Peoria)                          19.703
21 #64 - Scott Grabold (Hapilopper City)                20.297
22 #WC98 - Wilma von Cärinthen (Abanhfleft)             20.359
23 #00 - Colin Meredith (Pinkerton)                     20.369
24 #7 - Juracai Klianiota (Vilita and Turori)           20.923
25 #IT45 - Ilya Tsunopin (Sixty-ninE X)                 20.961

SEGMENT 5:

THE BERMAN BROS. CLASSIC
 1 #IT45 - Ilya Tsunopin (Sixty-ninE X)                 17.278
 2 #31GTA - Gwen Tracer Allison Oxton (Valentine Z)     17.307
 3 #DC23 - David Clarke (Abanhfleft)                    17.312
 4 #WC98 - Wilma von Cärinthen (Abanhfleft)             17.315
 5 #14 - Grayson Fisher (Jonesboro)                     17.337
 6 #70 - Dewey Savage (Peoria)                          17.396
 7 #69MG - Max Gannon (Saint Kanye)                     17.439
 8 #84 - Jared Lane (West Hampton)                      17.441
 9 #55H - Holly Aurora Lapia Starlight (Valentine Z)    17.640
10 #07MS - Michael Stefan (TJUN-ia)                     17.845
11 #55 - Ashley Milton (Hapilopper City)                17.985
12 #7 - Juracai Klianiota (Vilita and Turori)           18.056
13 #053 - Todd Miller (Border City)                     18.136
14 #050 - Owen Archer (Hapilopper City)                 18.469
15 #38LC - Lam Chow-Cheung (TJUN-ia)                    18.738
16 #43 - Courtney Cornell (East Hampton)                19.364
17 #58KK - Koshiro Kawai (Abanhfleft)                   19.815
18 #64 - Scott Grabold (Hapilopper City)                19.885
19 #LH1 - Leuhuais (Jouoangquoi)                        19.896
20 #92 - Maggie Rodgers (Peoria)                        20.398
21 #50GP - Rudy Edwards (Hapilopper City)               20.516
22 #46TA - Thea Alvarez (Saint Kanye)                   20.825
23 #97RD - Robin Dragonovic (South Newlandia)           21.140
24 #00 - Colin Meredith (Pinkerton)                     21.297
25 #K97 - Rulita Kikaba (Vilita and Turori)             22.739 - DNF

FINAL RESULTS:

THE BERMAN BROS. CLASSIC - FINAL RESULTS
 1 #07MS - Michael Stefan (TJUN-ia)                     17.639 - WINNER
 2 #84 - Jared Lane (West Hampton)                      17.694
 3 #69MG - Max Gannon (Saint Kanye)                     17.701
 4 #053 - Todd Miller (Border City)                     17.769
 5 #DC23 - David Clarke (Abanhfleft)                    17.784
 6 #55H - Holly Aurora Lapia Starlight (Valentine Z)    17.991
 7 #55 - Ashley Milton (Hapilopper City)                18.030
 8 #58KK - Koshiro Kawai (Abanhfleft)                   18.197
 9 #050 - Owen Archer (Hapilopper City)                 18.311
10 #14 - Grayson Fisher (Jonesboro)                     18.316
11 #97RD - Robin Dragonovic (South Newlandia)           18.505
12 #31GTA - Gwen Tracer Allison Oxton (Valentine Z)     18.618
13 #43 - Courtney Cornell (East Hampton)                18.685
14 #WC98 - Wilma von Cärinthen (Abanhfleft)             18.749
15 #IT45 - Ilya Tsunopin (Sixty-ninE X)                 18.770
16 #38LC - Lam Chow-Cheung (TJUN-ia)                    18.777
17 #70 - Dewey Savage (Peoria)                          18.828
18 #50GP - Rudy Edwards (Hapilopper City)               18.865
19 #00 - Colin Meredith (Pinkerton)                     18.876
20 #7 - Juracai Klianiota (Vilita and Turori)           19.067
21 #92 - Maggie Rodgers (Peoria)                        19.126
22 #46TA - Thea Alvarez (Saint Kanye)                   19.152
23 #64 - Scott Grabold (Hapilopper City)                19.413
24 #LH1 - Leuhuais (Jouoangquoi)                        19.580
25 #K97 - Rulita Kikaba (Vilita and Turori)             DNF
26 #70GG - Gongming Gao (North China)                   DNF
27 #06 - Rinzi Aogar Zakhilwal (The Sherpa Empire)      DNF
28 #ZS5 - Shuzhen Zhu (The Sherpa Empire)               DNF
29 #24 - Hugh Walker (Buckridge)                        DNF
30 #G0 - Gavin Ogden (Saint Kanye)                      DNF

by **TJUN-ia** » Mon Apr 18, 2022 5:08 pm

This blog was written by Derrick Carlisle, Jaguar Racing's Social Media Manager

I really thought that the Sharpe's Battleship 250 would be the highlight of this weekend, the 1st of two in Hapilopper and the 3rd before the cutoff of the regular season. But oh boy...I would be so, so wrong...in many different ways.

First of all, shoutouts have to go to Bad Racing Shirts, who have only gone on and created a stunning piece of wearable art promoting the MemeWatch brand and asking me to put all those who wear it on the bloody list. So you know what? I'll do just that - You are ALL on the list for being bloody brilliant and being supportive of whatever this shit is supposed to be! Thank you!

Now then, onto the Cup Race and my word, to the locals know how to make us feel like mega stars out here. Our relationship with Hapilopper's driver may be on and off at times, but the fans absolutely adore us...and they showed their appreciation in the traditional pre-race driver entrances, with even Lam Chow-Cheung getting welcomed with such grace. Our race would certainly be an interesting one in multiple ways. Michael Stefan (@Stefan07) would start 17th but would end up way down in 31st, now in a mode of desperation when it comes to the Chase...it's either win or miss out now. Alfonso Mercado (@AM64) started right from the back row, 45th out of 46, but would put in a bit of a recovery drive to end up in 16th by the end while the driver of JR's day would certainly go to Maddison Riley-Jones (@MaddyRJ03), who managed to run one of her best races of the season by turning 34th into P4 by the flag, just outside the podium and +30 places from the start. HM would also do well, with Aurélia Karvonen ending up in a respectable 19th from 10th while Lam Chow-Cheung, with the crowd in their back, turned 15th into 8th, their 2nd Top 10 finish in a row.

In the end, nobody could stop Taylor Henderson from claiming her first win of the season on home dirt over Clarissa Alanis Star Samantha and teammate Chris Holmes. Drake Stevenson would finish down in 6th but to be fair, most of the drivers were mostly happy to make it back in one piece - Only 34 cars made the end, with Tsering Chu and Wilma von Cärinthen the big names among the casualty list. But another big name gone would be the Big Ass Bash, cancelled by Drake simply because of a misunderstanding between the Haps and Valentine Z over their invites to the 5-day Water Festival. Clearly, this was just a big misunderstanding that was certainly unfortunate...but that doesn't make Drake any less of an asshole. The Water Festival is 5 days long...your party is one epic night. We could've just...gone to both, you know? Blowing this over what was required doesn't surprise me because it's Drake Stevenson...and if he isn't in the spotlight, the aliens will start to invade us all. This was supposed to be about enjoying some time with the Valentians and enjoying one of their customs. This was supposed to be about Hendo celebrating one of the biggest wins of her career. But instead, we are talking about Drake...as always, the one who can never get out of the headlines.

Both Drake and Hendo missed the rescheduled Berman Brothers Classic, most likely to enjoy some peace and quiet. I hope they enjoy it...one more so than the other. The Classic is always a bit of a fun time, watching a hell of a lot of drivers competing for the potential glory across a lot of races and a lot of racing laps. Last year, our debut in this event was certainly a dream...now, let's see what Round 2 can bring.

6) Alfonso Mercado (#64AM)

TT: 167th (18.998, Qualified for J-Main)
JM: 2nd (3:20.554, Advanced to I-Main)
IM: 10th (3:28.676, Eliminated)

For someone who made the A-Main last season, Alfonso certainly didn't have the best of it out there today. Starting right from the bottom rung of the ladder, he at least made it to the I-Main before falling by the wayside. He still enjoyed his time though, especially as results developed.

5) Alice Jepkosgei (#96AJ)

TT: 107th (17.740, Qualified for G-Main)
GM: 9th (3:29.052, Eliminated)

AJ certainly put in a good lap to make it up to the G-Main...but once the race actually happened, the drivers who got more track experience today were just better placed. Still, a good showing from the T2 driver.

4) Maddison Riley-Jones (#03RJ)

TT: 155th (18.474, Qualified for I-Main)
IM: 3rd (3:23.949, Advanced to H-Main)
HM: 1st (3:23.674, Advanced to G-Main)
GM: 1st (3:13.163, Advanced to F-Main)
FM: 19th (5:23.412, Eliminated)

She may not have made it close to the A-Main at all, but MRJ certainly went on a bit of a R-U-N out there tonight. Qualifying for the I-Main wasn't exactly in the plan for Maddy, but she made light work of that...and the H-Main...and the G-Main at that. Her luck would run out in the F-Main in a very chaotic race, but she can certainly take some positives from that performance at least.

3) Gongming Gao (#70GG)

TT: 14th (17.086, Qualified for B-Main)
BM: 13th (8:44.417, Falls to Last Chance Race)
LC: 20th (9:16.541, Falls to Consolation Race)
CR: 1st (9:08.883, Advanced to A-Main, Starts 25th)
AM: 26th (DNF)

Gongming Gao didn't know what to expect from an event such as this, but making it as far as he did will certainly be taken by the T2 Chaser. Qualifying in an impressive 14th, he took 3 attempts to make it into the A-Main itself but did so in style by winning the Consolation Race. Starting from 25th, an unfortunate incident with Rinzi Aogar Zakhilwal marked the end of both their days...but he made sure to let his rival from Sherpaland know that he had no hard feelings about it all.

2) Robin Dragonovic (#97RD)

TT: 12th (17.074, Qualified for B-Main)
BM: 17th (1 Lap Down, Falls to Last Chance Race)
LC: 6th (9:09.994, Advanced to A-Main, Starts 20th)
AM: 11th (18.505 Avg.)

Robin the Dragon, from the nation of Elephants, had a good day out there...which is always nice to see. 12th in time trial saw the South Newlandian make the B-Main and while he ended up a lap down there, he took his chance in the Last Chance Race to enter the A-Main in 20th. From there, his pace was certainly good and 11th at the flag was certainly a good result...but now, they must prepare for the sheer awkwardness of being a South Newlandian in a TJUN-ian team...when the two nations are facing off in the WBC.

1) Michael Stefan (#07MS)

TT: 1st (16.994, Qualified for A-Main)
PP: 2nd (1:51.195, Starts 2nd behind LCC)
AM: 1st (17.639 Avg. - BACK 2 BACK BABY)

Michael Stefan won this event last season and got a great reception from the crowd all week as a result. Now, after the pain of the Cup Race, he wanted to bounce back in style...and what better way of doing that than setting the pace in the time trial. The Pole Position Scramble that followed would certainly be interesting - Rinzi Aogar Zakhilwal starting 4th, David Clarke in 3rd but Stefan piped to pole by...Lam Chow-Cheung?! That was a surprise...and he made sure to let his compatriot know how good of a job they did. The race would arrive with a TJUN-ian 1-2 and while it was just as chaotic as you'd think, Micky just did his job to beat out Jared Lane and Max Gannon for his 2nd Classic triumph in a row. He would celebrate this success with Robin and Gao on the podium...and even Lam too, showing appreciation for getting on pole in an event like this...at only 18, mind you!

A lot of stuff to go through, I know...we'll see you next week for the Hap City Raceway. MOTR is dedicated to emotion and to how people can feel when things occur that they don't agree with. This sport certainly sees a lot of that...maybe a bit too much.

Current MCS Standings: #07 - 16th (431pts)/#64 - 8th (467pts/1 Win)/#03 - 4th (478pts)/#96 - 54th (15pts)
Current ECS Standings: #97 - 10th (375pts+PS)/#96 - 6th (390pts/1 Win)/#70 - 9th (376pts/1 Win)
Next MCS Race: Super Skychief 500, Hapilopper City Raceway, Hapilopper
Next ECS Race: Everlong 300, Hapilopper City Raceway, Hapilopper City, Hapilopper
Music of the Round II: Travis Scott - SICKO MODE ft. Drake (PAN/KOR)

MemeWatch II
1) "You're BOTH In The Wrong!" Lloyd Clarence (HTN) and Taylor Henderson (#73) - Casual Sexism And Weaponised Basketballs
2) Chaos In The Bay The Race of Oceania (Cup Series Round 3) - For Being Chaotic And Then Some...14 Retirements And All.
3) Abuse Of Your Power Drake Stevenson (#81) - Taylor's Not Queen Regnant Just Yet In This Realm...
4) "Ah Shit, Here We Go Again" Derrick Carlisle (Yep, That's Me) - Team Blue Shut Me Up. That Is All.
5) Time To Bring The Mayhem! Mayhem (STK) - Ilya And Murat, Eh? Two Men Of The Mayhem Indeed.
6) #WeStanKaiQiang Ilya Tsunopin (#45) - We Like This Guy, But He Certainly Belongs Here.
7) It Had To Be Done The Tunnel Truck Fiasco (#73) - Chaos. Pure Unfiltered Chaos.
8 ) Angry, But Still... Taylor Henderson (#73) - Thou Shall Not Kick Thine Significant Other's Crown Jewels.
9) I Don't Need To Explain This Kai Qiang (#44) - For Crossing The Hongxai Line.
10) I'm So Sorry Chris Holmes (#8) - For Allowing Us To FEEL THE MAYHEM At 7AM!
11) You Asked For This Anyone Who Wears A BRS MemeWatch Shirt - Y'all Are Brilliant, Thanks For The Support!
12) Party Pooper Drake Stevenson (#81) - For Blowing Up A Miss Understanding Because Of Course He Did - He's Drake!

by **The French Army** » Mon Apr 18, 2022 6:35 pm

Andre Massena and Leujouje had been seeing each other for months, and they spent a lot of time at the race track, but it wasn't very often they could sit together in the grandstands and watch a race. The Berman Brother's Classic was a rare opportunity for them to enjoy some racing together as spectators. Massena had made the decision to sit it out after his crash in Lonngeylin. He didn't know that he was going to be in another crash at the HNE Half Mile, or that some saucy lady was going to punch him in the face -- but those things just made it clearer that taking the day off was the right decision.

They were rooting for different drivers. Massena was cheering for his fellow Frenchmen and Leujouje was cheering for her brother Leuhuais.

"Why can't you cheer for him?" Leujouje asked. "He is my brother!"

"I have barely met him," said Massena.

"What are you talking about?" said Leujouje. "We had dinner with him last night!"

"Yes, but I have known Murat, Lannes, and Suchet for years. We have gone into battle together."

"Murat is an idiot and Lannes is a barbarian!" Leujouje protested.

Massena laughed. "You couldn't think of anything bad to say about Suchet?"

"No, Suchet is a good man."

They munched on hot dogs and chips while the heats ran, and one by one the French drivers got eliminated. By the time the starting grid lined up for the main event, they were both rooting for Leuhuais because none of the French had made it that far. And they were both disappointed when Leuhuais was the last one to cross the finish line.

As they walked back to their lodgings arm in arm, Leujouje felt conflicted. They had so much fun together, so she could not understand why Massena refused to marry her. She didn't want to leave, but the rejection hurt.

by **Vilita and Turori** » Tue Apr 19, 2022 3:04 am

Sharpe's Battleship 250, The HNE Half Mile, Hapilopper City, Hapilopper :: The Hapilopper/Wreckeria Double Header Race Week would get things kicked off on the Dirt at the HNE Half-Mile with the Tough Trucks 200 for the Everlong Contenders Series and the Sharpe's Battleship 250 for the Multiversal Cup Series. Lexi Patterson and the Shell Shock team would be victorious in the Everlong Contenders Series event for her second race victory of the season in a dominating performance on the dirt. Gongming Gao and Pyotr Lavrentiev rounded out the Top 3 with Lavrentiev extending their lead in the regular season standings to six points over Jixaka Motorai of Team Tropicorp. A tight battle remains at the 16th place cutoff mark for the Playoffs where all three Vilita and Turori Motorsports Novorali Enterprises drivers remain winless on the season and fighting for their spot in the playoffs. Joining the three Vilita and Turori Motorsports Everlong drivers in the battle for the final playoff spots is Team Tropicorp's Cocoabo #37 who currently occupies the 16th and final place in the postseason, with Novorali Enterprises driver Turakki Mayelli on the outside looking in.

Qualifying for the Multiversal Cup Series would see River 'Shark' Suzgar II put in a strong run to earn third position on the starting grid as they looked to add a pure Dirt Track to the list of venues they have secured a Multiversal Cup Series Race Victory at. All three Vilita and Turori Motorsports drivers would qualify inside the Top 10 with Islago Tizilna in 8th and Yraaga Gilli'i in 9th position on the grid. On race day, The 'Shark' would run into some issues twice seeing the #14 loop around on track and having to fight back, while also collecting damage in two separate incidents. Despite this, Suzgar recovered to a 21st place finish to maintain an outside chance at a Top 4 Regular Season finish. Yraaga Gilli'i worked up from their 8th starting position to run up near the front of the field all race long and ultimately finishing inside the Top 5 with a 4th place run. Former Vilita and Turori Motorsports driver Centur Tiones who had high hopes of turning around what has been a surprisingly difficult season thus far after qualifying inside the Top 5 - faded late in the race and would finish 10th - a strong finish for the team but almost certainly a hit to morale as Tiones has just two races left to claim a victory and a spot in the NSSCRA Playoffs.

Following the action on the Dirt, River 'Shark' Suzgar II sits 6th in the NSSCRA Regular Season standings 43 points behind leader Jeremiah Brooke. Yraaga Gilli'i is locked into the playoffs by virtue of their victory at the Toys '4' All 500 and sites 12th in the standings while rookie driver Islago Tizilna maintains a slim 15 point lead in the Coleman and Thorn Rookie of the Season standings over Rustam Ilyich Yudin.

The HNE Half-Mile would also be the venue for the first Dirt Race of the season for the AOCAR Stock Car Series as they headed to the HNE Half-Mile to kick off the back-to-back Hapilopper City swing. It was great news for a number of the AOCAR Circuits known dirt specialists including part-time Vilita and Turorian driver Rataba'ii Muspriin. During the last AOCAR season the Dirt events were dominated by Nykipiflugpuu driver Kuldar Erakkpyseppä but with Team Walrus unable to overcome the internal strife that often remained hidden from the public eye outside of inconsistent performances on the track, the team and driver Kuldar Erakkpyseppä would not return for AOCAR Season 2.

It would also be one of the last chances for Abovian driver Annike Jensen-Aakstern to claim a race victory to sneak into the twii.tur Shootout playoffs. After missing the start of the season due to uncertainty within her Abovian based team, things finally sorted themselves out in time for her to make a season debut in the Lighthouse Lightworks 250 at the Lonngeylin Ring. What a season debut it was for Jensen-Aakstern as well as the Abovian driver earned Pole Position and validated her spot in the VilBev Open Heats as part of the Vilaye Energy Drink Clash at the Yutzie River Raceway as the AOCAR representative. Jensen-Aakstern had already earned the honor as the AOCAR driver with the most pole positions during the previously completed season where she took pole in 4 of the 22 AOCAR events.

With her own AOCAR team having only just got their equipment ready for the AOCAR Season, there was little chance they would be able to put together an NSSCRA-qualified entry in time. While Jensen-Aakstern could have run her AOCAR chassis in the VilBev Open Heats as many AOCAR entries are simply prior generation NSSCRA chassis, the driver instead took advantage of an existing team that had an opening due to their driver not being qualified to participate in the event - while also happening to be co-sponsored by the parent company of the events title sponsor. Vilita and Turori Motorsports identified the opportunity after it became clear that their #4 and driver Islago Tizilna would not be eligible to participate in any of the Vilaye Clash activities. While not ideal for the rookie driver looking to gain all the experience they could behind the wheel of an NSSCRA Multiversal Cup Series Car, it actually worked out quite nicely for two drivers - Jensen-Aakstern and Meghan Sharpe of Cassadaigua who would each take full advantage of the opportunity presented. Tizilna's absence from the VilBev Open Heats freed up the #4 to be used by Sharpe who joined forces with former teammate Stacie Houston and Gale Force Racing for a one-off appearance in the #4 Spacebook Chadwick - borrowing the #4 for the event. Vilita and Turori Motorsports still prepared Tizilna's car for the event, however, re-numbering it as the #32 to match Annike Jensen-Aakstern's number in the AOCAR Stock Car Series and allowing title sponsor Vilaye Energy Drink to have the opportunity to advertise their newly released Vilaye BOOM! product line while getting ever-growing associated Inura Extracts into the race as the hood sponsor on the car. While the design of the car resembled at a glance that of Tizilna's normal #4 Inura Extracts / Vilaye Dart from the NSSCRA Multiversal Cup Series, there were actually some adjustments made for Jensen-Aakstern's ride in the car beyond just changing the number from 4 to 32. Instead of Tizilna's trademark black matte base, Jensen-Aakstern's #32 featured a field of Navy as its base along with Abovian green trim to match the colors from the Aboveland flag.

Both Sharpe and Jensen-Aakstern would be in VilBev Open Heat #2 with the Abovian driver unsurprisingly fast in qualifying and starting alongside Drake Stevenson on the outside pole position - while Sharpe would start 6th in the eight car heat. After applying pressure for the first few laps, on the outside, Jensen-Aakstern would eventually lose the opportunity to tuck in behind Stevenson and fell to third position behind Everlong Contenders Series driver Lexi Patterson. While Stevenson drove off to victory in the heat to guarantee a spot in the Vilaye Energy Drink Clash, Jensen-Aakstern would ride Pattersons bumper before settling for third place ahead of Maddie Alexander, Bryan Harrison and Sharpe who finished right where she started in 6th place.

From there both drivers would enter the Vilaye Roast Shootout last chance qualifier with the Top 2 finishers advancing to the Clash. Jensen-Aakstern was the beneficiary of an incident between Cocoabo #28 and Lexi Patterson that saw the Cocoabo pinched into the outside wall before coming down the track and taking out Dinggu Wang. Jensen-Aakstern was just able to get low enough off the corner to avoid being collected and would emerge with the race lead. With the running order jumbled it was also an opportunity for Meghan Sharpe and Thea Alvarez - who had been moving up from the back of the field and continued to make progress on the re-start. The race slowed again for an incident that resulted in Maddie Alexander spinning off turn four and setting up a 3 lap shootout to the finish. Jensen-Aakstern led the field to the green alongside Pyotr Lavrentiev. Behind them was Sharpe and Anavella Ariiki. As the green flag flew, Ariiki anticipated the start too early and the nose of the #88 Tropicorp Dart got under the rear of Lavrentiev's Chadwick, lifting the rear tires from the racing surface temporarily and reducing the traction available as the two cars seemed now to be stuck bumper to nose unable to break free. The check up eventually saw the #88 knocked into the fence as they eventually managed to free themselves from the grip of the car in front of them but kept going and no yellow flag came out. It was now Jensen-Aakstern leading Meghan Sharpe and Thea Alvarez who had worked her way from last in the #46 Girls Will Code / Charisma Chadwick. That would be the way they would finish with Jensen-Aakstern taking the surprise victory in the #32 Inura Extracts / Vilaye BOOM! Hybrid Dart.

Incredibly, despite not qualifying for the Vilaye Clash themselves, Vilita and Turori Motorsports driver Islago Tizilna was indirectly represented by two different drivers in the Clash Feature lineup. While it was always going to be an uphill battle for either driver to compete for the victory in what was effectively an All-Star Race for the stars of the NSSCRA Mutliversal Cup Series - and both Jensen-Aakstern and Sharpe making their first appearances of the season in an NSSCRA Multiversal Cup Series car. However, both drivers held their own and completed the full distance of the race with Sharpe finishing 12th and Jensen-Aakstern coming home with a Top 10 in her first ever Vilaye Clash appearance.

VILITA & TURORI RACER ✓

@VTRacer

Big day for Vilitan Weekly Racing Series driver Rulita Kikaba who placed 4th in the B-Main and will start the #BermanBrosClassic at the #HNEHalfMile. Turori's Juracai Klianiota will also be in the feature after advancing from the Consolation Race!

#HapEx :: #BermanBrosClassic :: #AOCAR

by **Saint Kanye** » Tue Apr 19, 2022 8:15 am

For the second time in their history, the annual Berman Bros. Classic dirt race invited participants from around the world in addition to Hapilopper's finest. The previous edition's entry list of 142 drivers was huge at the time, but that only grew this time around to a whopping 170. "Maybe we'll see two hundred drivers next year?" commented Max Gannon, who will be turning 71 next month and is thus one of the oldest drivers in the field. Gannon, the former radio host and current co-owner of the Everlong Series' Skip Stiller Speedworks, is one of fifteen drivers either from St. Kanye or affiliated with a Yeezie team (up from eight in the previous edition). Let's take a look at how each one of them did.

#SK00 - Swell Kirby (NMCS)
Qualified: 164th of 170 (J-Main)
J-Main: 3rd of 11 (I-Main)
I-Main: 18th of 24 (Eliminated)

The young 69Xer, who together with his brother Curtis (see below) are enrolled in St. Kanye's Upper Westside University, was one of the worst qualifiers in the entire Classic. He would however make it until the I-Main, ultimately finishing seventh from last. This is not a display of incompetence though, but rather inexperience. Both Kirby brothers would get to dive deeper into the international racing world, however. Swell in particular will be piloting the #69 Gale Force Racing Chadwick at the NSSCRA Multiversal Cup Series' regular season finale, the Pencurve Electronics 500 at the Jalton Superspeedway; he, Curtis, and their close friend Ilya Tsunopin (currently GFR's R&D driver) will be fielding a Cup team next season with full GFR support.

#CT01 - Curtis Kirby (NMCS)
Qualified: 170th of 170 (J-Main)
J-Main: 1st of 11 (I-Main)
I-Main: 5th of 24 (Eliminated)

The other Kirby brother did even worse in the Berman quals, putting up the absolute slowest time of any participant. But he didn't let that discourage him as he put up a valiant effort, winning the J-Main before finishing only one position short of advancement in the I-Main. Curtis' Cup appearance will come during the third round of the Chase; he'll drive the #9 GFR Chadwick at the Kardashia Chadwick Dealers 400 held at the Kardashia Autoring, not far from the UWU campus.

#4CRT - Pyotr Lavrentiev (NECS)
Qualified: 127th of 170 (H-Main)
H-Main: 21st of 24 (Eliminated)

Lav holds dual Ceroat/St. Kanye citizenship; while he asked to be represented under the former's flag in the previous Classic, this time he was listed as a Yeezie entry. However, some things would stay the same. Last time around, he qualified 127th, good for the H-Main, but went one and done. What about now? 127th.... H-Main.... one... and... done. Eerie.

#13SC - Sage Caldwell (NMCS)
Qualified: 149th of 170 (I-Main)
I-Main: 1st of 24 (H-Main)
H-Main: 5th of 24 (Eliminated)

The dreadlocked driver became a fan favorite among Haps and foreigners alike for accomplishing what was called a "soup run" in the last edition. He qualified for the H-Main and moving his way down the alphabet to A, the main event, only to finish runner-up. Once again Sage saw himself classified into one of the lower brackets, and once again he would attempt a soup run. He won the I-Main and was in contention to advance out of the H-Main, only to figure in a fierce battle for the fourth and last transfer spot with Cup veteran and current AOCAR driver Jama'obo Pegasii of Vilita and Turori. The crowd went wild, especially the whole lot of people that came specifically for the Yeezie, but it was Pegasii who would prevail with a bump and run on the last lap. Needless to say, Sage was disappointed. "One spot. One spot was all I needed, and I blew it. Well, there's always next season. Sorry to all my fans out there - one day soon, we'll know something other than pain."

#RG3 - Glen Reid (AOCAR)
Qualified: 101st of 170 (G-Main)
G-Main: 21st of 24 (Eliminated)

Despite doing poorly in his first ever Classic appearance, the GFR-AOCAR standout known as the Gremlin (for his fierce personality and 5'3 stature) was all smiles while being interviewed. "Glad to have made it this time, and boy, was it fun, even if we weren't really in contention for the win". Glen signed up for the last edition, but had to back out last minute due to a family emergency back in St. Kanye.

#18JB - Jeremiah Brooke (NMCS)
Qualified: 104th of 170 (G-Main)
G-Main: 5th of 24 (Eliminated)

This one was a surprise, and not even a welcome one. Jeremiah, the GFR Cup team's de facto leader, was one of the best qualifiers last year, and did decently at the B and A-Mains. However, today he was put in the G-Main, and like Sage before him, narrowly missed the cut, and to Pegasii as well. ""Just not our night, I suppose," he said to reporters shortly after climbing out of his dirt racer. "Guess I'll just cheer for whoever GFR and SSS have left." Jeremiah also gave his thoughts on local Anton Bruce's hard crash during the ninth lap of their heat, which caused a red flag for track repairs. "All I kept thinking then was, hope he's fine, hope he's fine. But then I learned after the race that he was released, and 'hope he's fine' turned into 'glad he's fine'. Goes to show just how tough Hapiloppians really are, and how much attention track management paid to following safety measures."

#XXX - Lexi Patterson (NECS)
Qualified: 90th of 170 (F-Main)
F-Main: 12th of 24 (Eliminated)

The Hampton Island-born SSS driver's car was notable for not having Arabic numerals on it, just three big red X's meant to represent her Everlong number of 30. Despite this, though, her performance was painfully ordinary, finishing middle of the pack in the one heat she was in.

#1X - Jill Singletary (AOCAR)
Qualified: 99th of 170 (F-Main)
F-Main: 8th of 24 (Eliminated)

Jill went from being 0.002 second away from advancement in the previous edition, to not even sniffing the lead once in the current one, her top ten position only coming on a late charge. "Man, I remember throwing such a bitch fit when I missed the cut then, but looking back, I'd much rather have that than how badly I did today," she commented.

#27SH - Stacie Houston (NMCS)
Qualified: 97th of 170 (F-Main)
F-Main: 4th of 24 (E-Main)
E-Main: 12th of 24 (Eliminated)

The GFR/SSS delegation saw three of its four female members in the F-Main, but among these three, only Stacie would advance out of it. "Not bad for the first time," she said. She wasn't part of the Hapiloppian doubleheader and all the festivities associated with it, including the Classic, last season, as she was pregnant with her and Jeremiah's child ~~and future Cup champion~~ Jericho.

#99RL - Ricky Lee (NMCS)
Qualified: 46th of 170 (D-Main)
D-Main: 22nd of 24 (Eliminated)

It's been a long-running observation in both NSSCRA tiers that a good qualifying run does not always ensure a good finish. That also held true in the Classic, where it just meant that drivers would go one and done in later heats. Despite finishing third from last with a car battered from an early run-in with Jeszi Hotoniia, Ricky, much to his delight, got a lot of cheers, likely from those who have seen the fanfic featuring him that has gone viral online. "SLICK RICK! SLICK RICK! SLICK RICK!"

#D20 - Daryl Calhoun (NECS)
Qualified: 5th of 170 (B-Main)
B-Main: 18th of 23 (Last Chance Race)
Last Chance Race: 24th of 33 (Consolation Race)
Consolation Race: 19th of 19 (Eliminated)

Don't be fooled by Daryl's lightning-fast qualifying time that saw him come 0.003 second away from an outright A-Main spot. His three races were all stinkers, - first a stuck wheel, then an overheating issue, and finally he hit the wall by himself in the consolation race with only four laps having gone by. "My car says D20, but it seems I rolled three natural 1s," he joked.

#G0 - Gavin Ogden (AOCAR)
Qualified: 26th of 170 (C-Main)
C-Main: 27th of 28 (Last Chance Race)
Last Chance Race: 4th of 33 (A-Main)
A-Main: 30th of 30

Things went up and down for AOCAR star Gavin. Did well in quals, crashed out of the C-Main, came within a lap of winning the last chance race, then flipped over at the A-Main. While he was physically unhurt, his ego ended up like his car and took quite the beating. "Making it to the grand finale only to flip and make a bloody fool of yourself? That sucks. big time. It's like I wasted a spot that could have gone to someone who would have gone further."

#46TA - Thea Alvarez (NMCS)
Qualified: 32nd of 170 (C-Main)
C-Main: 7th of 28 (B-Main)
B-Main: 3rd of 23 (A-Main)
A-Main: 22nd of 30

Unlike in last edition, when she qualified one hundredth and went on a soup run, Thea had a much better time trial at 32nd fastest, and such a shorter path to the A-Main. However, her finish in the main event dropped, from 13th to 22nd. "Much fiercer competition this year," Thea spoke. "The Jags were of course good, but then you have the Fleftics, and that Pearl guy, and [Shuzhen] Zhu [who came all the way from the G-Main], and of course Ilya. I'm happy to have been here, but I do wish i could have done better."

#IT45 - Ilya Tsunopin (NMCS)
Qualified: 23rd of 170 (C-Main)
C-Main: 1st of 28 (B-Main)
B-Main: 2nd of 23 (A-Main)
A-Main: 15th of 30

Like his hauler neighbor Thea, Ilya relied on his experience on dirt to get good results in the Classic (he used to race off road in his native 69X). He won the C-Main, got edged by Leuhuais (the "Pearl guy" Thea was referring to) in the B-Main and finished middle of the pack in the A-Main, all while the crowd went absolutely wild. Ricky Lee may have been the star of the biggest story on the internet right now, but Ilya also got a lot of love, as he was that story's author.

#69MG - Max Gannon (NECS - Owner)
Qualified: 9th of 170 (B-Main)
B-Main: 5th of 23 (A-Main)
A-Main: 3rd of 30

The oldest member of the GFR/SSS delegation by far, and the only non-active driver among the fifteen of them, Max surprised everyone by getting a podium finish in the A-Main. He continued to keep his reflexes sharp by driving his ever-growing collection of vehicles around the city streets and country roads of St. Kanye, but his eyesight meant that he can't do so without his glasses. "Still. Got. It." Max said after the race, hoisting his bronze medal up for everyone to see. "Chet Byrd, eat your heart out."

works? · by **Abanhfleft** » Tue Apr 19, 2022 11:38 am

"Yo, new MemeWatch just dropped," Guillermo Archer said as he started scrolling down hia tablet once again.

"Oh my god," Wilma von Cärinthen muttered as she covered her face with her hands. "Don't tell me. You don't need to tell me!" she said. "I made it, didn't I? DCar put me on the list, didn't he? He put me on the list for leaving behind that hole in the roof of that bowling alley! He put us all on the list for going to the wrong alley and missing out on the whole party!"

"Yeah, actually, about that," Gil muttered. "We're not on the list."

"Wait, what? Really?" Wilma asked as she walked over to Gil to look at his tablet and make sure that he wasn't pulling her leg again. "Huh. We really are flying under the radar right now," she muttered once she saw that Gil was telling the truth. "Oh, god! I was pretty sure that that was going to be at least considered meme-worthy!"

"Meh, better to just smash a hole in the roof than to make a poor choice of words and get called out for it," Gil shrugged. They were back in Hapilopper City, site of Gil's latest brush with controversy. In the previous season, back when Gil was still driving for UrGa, he had gotten into a wreck with Gongming Gao (formerly of Beiyang and currently of Jaguar Racing-Everlong), and he unleashed a verbal tirade at Gao which involved racially charged language. This obviously didn't go down well with a lot of the NSSCRA fans, who had been used to more gentlemanly behavior between drivers, and the fans remembered just why Archer was the driver they loved to hate. Some of that animosity vanished when Gil collapsed in Filindostan and he subsequently announced his retirement from racing on medical grounds, but only some of it. As shown by Qiang's hostile reaction to Archer when the Fleftic driver had tried to talk to the NSSCRA 8 champion about the Lam Chow-Cheung incident, some people still hadn't forgotten about the lengths Archer went to provoke a reaction out of the rest of the grid.

"Still, I think it's better that none of us are on MemeWatch at this point in the season," Wilma said. "And honestly, I'd like to keep it that way."

"We should be fine," Gil waved off. "As far as I know, we're not going to any more bowling alleys this season so we won't get lost, and you won't poke any more holes in ceilings anymore."

"I wish," Wilma said.

Suddenly, Gil exclaimed, "Goddamn it!"

"What is it now?" Wilma asked.

"The Big Ass Bash just got canceled!" Gil moaned, and he showed Wilma the twii from Drake Stevenson announcing that the Big Ass Bash was off, at least for this season.

"Aw, dammit," Wilma sighed. "I was looking forward to breaking out my great-grandmother's hussar uniform once again!"

"You're telling me!" Gil said. "This was going to be my first Bash after the boss lady banned me from going to the last one because of you-know-what!" The "boss lady" was of course Olga Gatutina. "Now what am I supposed to do between the dirt race and the Super Skychief 500?"

"There's always the Valentian Water Festival thing," Wilma suggested. "I heard they erected one of their dimensional portals so people could hop between their place and Hapilopper easily."

"Wilma, weren't you listening to me the last time you brought this up? I am not going to Valentine Z for this water festival!" Gil said. "My entire plan for the Hap doubleheader has been to go to the Big Ass Bash! And now it's gone! Do you have any idea how inconvenient it is that Drake Stevenson called off this Bash?!"

"So just stay in for the whole week! Call Brigitte and the girls over for a tour of Hap City! Why are you shouting at me like I'm the one who made Stevenson cancel the Bash?" Wilma asked. "Anyway, looks like you're not the only one ticked off about this whole thing. Drake himself seems to be blaming the whole thing on the Valentians."

"As he damn well should," Gil said. "They're not rubes, them Vals. They've been doing this stock car thing for how many years now? They know that Hap City equals Big Ass Bash. And now they have the guts to pop this water festival thing out of nowhere and invite people to go through a portal in Hapilopper? I've been trying to warn people about these Valentians for years now. These robots don't think like we do or feel like we do. They may not use their technology or their powers to win every single race on the calendar, but that won't stop them from interfering with the other drivers. Think about it, man! Why would they send the invitations to every single driver on the paddock? They wanna trap us in their dimension while they remain here and become the only ones actually available for the race! Now I don't know if NSSCRA will allow a race to go ahead with only five or seven drivers or how many Vals we actually got on the grid or if they'll just forfeit the race altogether, but there's a nefarious plan in there somewhere! I can smell it!"

"Okay," Wilma muttered as she patiently listened through Gil's latest anti-Valentian tirade. Once he was finished, she quipped, "Do you need another layer of foil for your tin hat?"

"I'm serious, bruh!" Gil insisted. "Drake has every right to feel disrespected about this! And because of this, I now don't have any plans whatsoever!"

“Like I said, you can always bring the family down to Hap City and have a family day out, you know?” Wilma said.

“Dude, weren’t you listening to me? I already asked Brigitte and the girls to come down here for what was supposed to be the Big Ass Bash!” Gil said. “And now we ain’t got no Big Ass Bash cause Stevenson canceled the whole thing! The reason why I invited the whole family over was so they could finally see the Bash in person! What are we supposed to do now?"

"I don't know! Why are you asking me? I'm not your tour guide!" Wilma said angrily.

This time it was Gil who sighed. "Maybe I'm putting too much thought into this," he said. "I'm going to go for a walk. Maybe I can find a place that will let a Super Skychief 500 winner and his family eat their dinner in peace."

"Are you sure about that? I think a lot of people here in Hapilopper are still a bit pissed that you won the race last season after what you did to Gao-Gao," Wilma said.

"Oh, so he's Gao-Gao to you now too, huh?" Gil asked with a raised eyebrow.

“You’re not the only one who follows the Jag Blog,” Wilma said, almost defensively.

“Sure, whatever you say,” Gil nodded. “Anyway, if the rest of the grid didn’t want a racist to win the Super Skychief 500 last season, they should’ve all tried to be faster than me!”

“Geez, why didn’t we all think of that, huh?” Wilma muttered, complete with a theatrical facepalm. “Just… be careful out there, will you? I know that some of the Haps still like you because you’re the dad of the kid who saved Preston Autos’ hide at WGPC, but don’t let that get into your head too much. You may not be racing for anyone anymore, but you still gotta act like you have a target on your back!”

“Oh, come on, Wilhelmina, you should know me better than now,” Gil said. “Am I not always careful? Anyway, if you’re thinking about buying those Hap shirts that have become popular all of a sudden, don’t. I tried to buy the ‘Too Sexy for Tsunopin’ shirt, and you know what they gave me? A shirt that looks like the one that’s actually on their website, not the thing that they claimed to have. Don’t buy any shirts from those guys. It’s clearly all a scam.”

“Or maybe their stock of actual shirts ran out so they had to give you the shirts on their website,” Wilma suggested.

“Get your Occam’s razor away from me,” Gil said. “There’s no room for rational thought in here, only hot takes and overreactions! Now excuse me while I put on my ‘Valentian Portal Victim’ T-shirt.”

“I thought you said that you would never go through the portal.”

“That’s not the point!”

Dirt tracks weren’t really Wilma von Cärinthen’s thing. In fact, it wasn’t a thing for almost all of the Fleftic drivers currently participating in NSSCRA. There was simply no culture of dirt racing in Abanhfleft at all even though some of the first races in the history of the Abanhfleft Racing Truck Series were held on dirt or mud ovals. Tracks on the ARTS schedule moved to get themselves paved as soon as they could, and apart from some local tracks, dirt racing was pretty much dead and buried in Abanhfleft by the late 1960s. Dirt didn’t even reenter the conversation in Abanhfleft until very recently with the success of the HNE Half Mile race in NSSCRA. Thus the Fleftics were pretty much making things up as they went along. They tried to get as much dirt racing experience as they could by entering the Berman Brothers Classic, but it didn’t pan out exactly as they had wanted. In fact, the only Abanhfleft-affiliated driver to breach the top 25 of qualifying for the Sharpe’s Battleship 250 was not an actual Fleftic. Rustam Ilyich Yudin, the Ceroatian driver picked up by Gil Archer for both UrGa and his own ARTS team Manalastas-Archer Racing, was able to place his car in 23rd place, but for a team of UrGa’s experience and caliber, this just wasn’t good enough.

Despite that, Wilma still managed to get a good start on race day, going all the way up to sixth place for a few laps, but that was as far as she was able to get. Wilma settled into 10th place for 40 laps, but when she came in to pit following a caution brought out by an incident between the Rocket Motorsports teammates Derek Harwood and Ashley Matthews, Wilma literally dropped like a rock thanks to a particularly stubborn wheel nut, and she came out in a position she didn’t like: in the lower reaches of the field surrounded by drivers whom she didn’t fully trust to not wreck her when she made a move on them or vice versa. And eventually, the moment that Wilma feared finally happened: Andre Massena drove right into the back of Yuro Kiuba, and then the French driver steered almost straight into Wilma’s right side. The impact forced Wilma into the inside wall, and the sustained contact with the wall eventually resulted in both wheels on her left side going flat.

“What the fuck is he doing?!” Wilma said on the radio. “Somebody go to his spotter and tell him to get off of me already!”

“We’re working on it, Wilma, but I don’t think it’s gonna be easy,” her own spotter Terry Freedlander reported.

And then Wilma had this strange sensation where it felt like she had lost power, or that the power from her engine was not being transferred to the wheels. “What’s going on now? It’s like I’m stuck!” she called out.

"Wilma, can you tell me your issue?" crew chief Deckard Sullivan asked her.

"I'm pressing down on the throttle, and the needle's moving on my dash, but I'm not moving anywhere at all!" Wilma reported.

"Fuck, that's not good," Sullivan muttered. "All right, Wilma, I think that's it. That's the end of the race for us. Cut it off. No sense putting any more strain or damage to anything."

"Verdammt!" Wilma muttered to herself. And she was feeling so good about this race as well, even if she didn't have as much dirt experience as some of the other drivers. Even though she had fallen down the order due to a botched pit stop, Wilma still believed that she could have regained all those places that she lost and nick a top 15 finish, maybe even a top 10. But now she was going to have to sit out this race and watch precious points slip through her fingers. And she knew exactly to blame for this.

"You!" Wilma called out as she approached Andre Massena. "Du bist ein Dummkopf! You wrecked my fucking race, you onion-loving bastard!" she shouted as she launched her helmet at Massena's head. The French general managed to dodge the flying projectile, but only just. "Bakit ka pa nandito, ha?! Puro papogi lang naman ang alam mo eh! Wala ka namang binatbat pagdating sa pagmamaneho!" (Why are you still here?! All you know to do is look good! You don't know a single thing about driving!)

Massena seemed to be saying something in French, but that was a language that Wilma didn't bother to learn so she had no idea what the Frenchman was saying to her. In any case, Wilma wasn't really in the mood to listen anyway so Massena's words or pleas or whatever they were fell on deaf ears. "Baka kailangan mong magpapangit para matuto kang mangarera ng maayos!" Wilma shouted as she cocked back her arm in preparation for another swing. "ARSCHLOCH!" she screamed as she swung her right fist right at Massena's face. The impact of the bones in Wilma's hand on the flesh of Massena's cheek was satisfying, to say the least. At that moment, Wilhelmina Demeter von Cärinthen didn't care that she was probably making a fool of herself in front of almost the whole multiverse by punching Andre Massena in the face. The only thing that mattered to her at that moment was the fact that she had gotten her revenge on the driver that had ruined what was otherwise a perfectly serviceable race for Wilma. It didn't even matter that her hand now hurt like hell. Wilma had done what she wanted to do.

by **Kimi-Suomi** » Tue Apr 19, 2022 4:58 pm

It certainly was an interesting weekend of HM in Hapilopper City as the doubleheader got underway on the HNE Half Mile. Here's how events on and around the dirt have been felt by everyone in KImi-Suomi's team...

T2
The T2 Gang of Kaarino Salo and Ilmari Pëkannen had an interesting time on the dirt, to say the least. They would contest 3 battles here on the surface and they would certainly tell a tale:
Everlong Karsinnat: Ilmari won this one, qualifying in 3rd compared to Salo in 12th.
Everlong Kilpailu: Ilmari would finish in 9th, Kaarina was a late DNF due to a bit of a crunch.
Berman Brothersin Klassikko: Kaarina Salo was E-Main for life, Ilmari only made it to I-Main and was wrongly classified as a TJUN-ian.

So Ilmari is certainly in the better position in the chase to make the Chase but in the Classic, the wacky format played to Kaarina's strengths. Certainly notes to be taken by both in the races to come. Both were certainly saddened that this "BIg Ass Bash" wasn't going ahead, but they at least had the Water Festival to enjoy.

AK
Starting from P10, Aurélia Karvonen was looking to try and have a breakthrough performance here on dirt but while P19 would certainly be taken, she still felt she could've done better overall. She could feel herself improve and improve as the races go on and getting a warm welcome by the crowd here in Hap City certainly felt great...but she still felt that there was a lot more pace in her #71 that could be unlocked in the future.

As for the Classic, she put in a good enough time to get into the D-Main, but some trouble on her part meant that she couldn't get out of there at all. Still, it was fun...and she hopes the Water Festival will be just as fun, especially without the kusipää of a local who rides #81.

LCC
Qualifying in 15th, Lam Chow-Cheung was still riding high from that P4 performance over in TJUN-ia...a performance that got him the support of their people with the chanting of "L-C-C" still ringing in their ears. They knew that the entrance they would make for the Cup Series race was going to be special, especially with the genderfluid-coloured Beizi they decided to wear for the occasion, but the roar they got when their name was called was a feeling they certainly wouldn't forget. They knew that the racing-devout Haps had their back and that would certainly spur them on in the race. Their pace wasn't as electric as things were last week in TJUN-ia, but it was still certainly up there and good enough for a great P8 when the flag came out - their 2nd Top 10 in a row and a performance that told both them and everyone else that LCC can be a consistent driver in this series. It felt good to pull it off once more, to build some more confidence in the system.

Then came the Classic and that was certainly something else to Lam's confidence in itself. Their time of 17.012 was quick enough to make the A-Main automatically and things would certainly get better in the Pole Position Scramble when Lam somehow beat out defending champ Michael Stefan to pole. Lam would start from pole...and that certainly felt like a thrill. Sure, they would only finish 16th out of the 24th that remained, but the fact that they started a race from pole in itself was an achievement for Lam...a great thing so great, that eventual winner Stefan demanded that Lam was there to celebrate the pole with the JR gang. It all felt...brilliant. Simple as that.

There would be no Big Ass Bash, whatever that is, but there is a Water Festival to go to instead in the magical land of Valentine Z. Then it's all on the Skychief, a race filled with myth and legend around these parts...and Lam Chow-Cheung was going to be a part of it. Week by week, LCC is becoming more and more like a consistent NSSCRA driver. Thie question is, how far can the masked enby go?

by **The French Army** » Tue Apr 19, 2022 5:19 pm

Abanhfleft wrote:"You!" Wilma called out as she approached Andre Massena. "Du bist ein Dummkopf! You wrecked my fucking race, you onion-loving bastard!" she shouted as she launched her helmet at Massena's head. The French general managed to dodge the flying projectile, but only just. "Bakit ka pa nandito, ha?! Puro papogi lang naman ang alam mo eh! Wala ka namang binatbat pagdating sa pagmamaneho!" (Why are you still here?! All you know to do is look good! You don't know a single thing about driving!)

Massena seemed to be saying something in French, but that was a language that Wilma didn't bother to learn so she had no idea what the Frenchman was saying to her. In any case, Wilma wasn't really in the mood to listen anyway so Massena's words or pleas or whatever they were fell on deaf ears. "Baka kailangan mong magpapangit para matuto kang mangarera ng maayos!" Wilma shouted as she cocked back her arm in preparation for another swing. "ARSCHLOCH!" she screamed as she swung her right fist right at Massena's face. The impact of the bones in Wilma's hand on the flesh of Massena's cheek was satisfying, to say the least. At that moment, Wilhelmina Demeter von Cärinthen didn't care that she was probably making a fool of herself in front of almost the whole multiverse by punching Andre Massena in the face. The only thing that mattered to her at that moment was the fact that she had gotten her revenge on the driver that had ruined what was otherwise a perfectly serviceable race for Wilma. It didn't even matter that her hand now hurt like hell. Wilma had done what she wanted to do.

Massena had just taken his helmet off and he was getting ready to go back to his hauler and change out of his firesuit. He was not in a good mood even before Wilma showed up and started yelling at him. He didn't catch everything she said. It wasn't in French, she was talking a bit fast, she started yelling at him while she was still some distance away, and there was engine noise in the background where the race had restarted.

He tried to ask Wilma what was the matter, but he was interrupted by her helmet whizzing past his head about an inch from his ear.

The startled expression on his face gave way to an angry glare and he started yelling back at Wilma: "This is no way for a lady to act!" He tried to grab her arm and pull her aside, but she evaded his grasp and threw a punch right at his face. Massena was standing too close to get out of the way and her fist landed with an ugly THWACK! He caught the word "Arschloch" and not much else. He shoved her away and started to give her an angry lecture, but he realized his message was not getting through because A) Wilma was still in a rage and B) they were not speaking the same language.

He also realized it would be a bad look to haul off and punch out a woman in front of thousands of racing fans, some other people had noticed what was happening and they were getting ready to step in and break up the fight if he and Wilma didn't stop on their own, and there was a trickle of blood dribbling from his nose. Massena was a douchebag, but he wasn't a moron. He didn't want to ruin his reputation by beating up Wilma, and he didn't want to embarrass himself by getting dragged away by the track marshals or his crew. Instead, he went to find a rag or a napkin to clean up the blood, cursing Wilma under his breath as he went.

by **Newmanistan** » Tue Apr 19, 2022 6:01 pm

Qualifying: Super Skychief 500, Hapilopper City Raceway, Hapilopper (Speedway)
Lap Record: 23.783 sec.

Qualifying:

NSSCRA Multiversal Series
 1 #73- Taylor Henderson (Hapilopper)                           24.076
 2 #27- Stacie Houston (Saint Kanye)                            24.098
 3 #46- Thea Alvarez (Saint Kanye)                              24.098
 4 #15- Anastasia Freya Yadana Aye (Valentine Z)                24.103
 5 #43- Tsering Chu (The Sherpa Empire)                         24.103
 6 #06- Rinzi Aogar Zakhilwal (The Sherpa Empire)               24.143
 7 #18- Jeremiah Brooke (Saint Kanye)                           24.171
 8 #38- Lam Chow-Cheung (Kimi-Suomi)                            24.203
 9 #81- Drake Stevenson (Hapilopper)                            24.232
10 #39- Rustam Ilyich Yudin (Abanhfleft)                        24.255
11 #41- Yraaga Gilli’i (Vilita & Turori)                        24.294
12 #31- Gwen Tracer Allison Oxton (Valentine Z)                 24.402
13 #55- Holly Aurora Lapia Starlight (G6MR)                     24.438
14 #03- Maddison Riley-Jones (TJUN-ia)                          24.447
15 #13- Sage Caldwell (New Northwesteros)                       24.506
16 #64- Alfonso Mercado (TJUN-ia)                               24.522
17 #10- Anna Star Joy Thanda Pwint Thinzar Nwe (G6MR) *Q*       24.536
18 #61- Joachim Murat (The French Army)                         24.544
19 #44- Kai Qiang (The Sherpa Empire)                           24.553
20 #1- Maddie Alexander (Tropicorp)                             24.557
21 #5- Liangmei Li (Newmanistan)                                24.615
22 #07- Michael Stefan (TJUN-ia)                                24.680
23 #98- Wilma von Cärinthen (Abanhfleft)                        24.776
24 #14- River ‘Shark’ Suzgar (Vilita & Turori)                  24.800
25 #8- Chris Holmes (Hapilopper)                                24.912
26 #3- Jenna Logan (Tropicorp)                                  24.924
27 #7- Clarissa Alanis Star Samantha (Valentine Z)              24.933
28 #48- Ashley Matthews (Newmanistan)                           24.963
29 #71- Aurélia Karvonen (Kimi-Suomi)                           25.012
30 #50- Bismillah Untas (Sultanate of Oontas)                   25.034
31 #90- Lexie Shelby (Sword Island) *Q*                         25.091
32 #0- Ezekiel Rodger (Esmerel)                                 25.208
33 #2- Centur Tiones (Tropicorp)                                25.251
34 #24- Chelsea Taylor (Newmanistan)                            25.264
35 #99- Ricky Lee (New Northwesteros) *Q*                       25.395
36 #08- Frank Bronson (Hapilopper)                              25.457
37 #4- Islago Tizilna (Vilita & Turori)                         25.517
38 #16- Laura McKenzie (Sajnur)                                 25.567
39 #35- Kassie Collins (Sword Island) *Q*                       25.904
40 #62- Andre Massena (The French Army)                         26.096
41 #05- Chris Gordon (Sword Island)                             26.135
42 #58- Koshiro Kawai (Abanhfleft)                              26.278
43 #56- Kelly Monroe (Xanneria)                                 26.354
44 #88- Al Jak (StrayaRoos) *Q*                                 26.438
45 #37- Yageny Qabaliq (Qzvarkian Qaz)                          26.571
46 #74- Yuro Kiuba (StrayaRoos) *Q*                             26.679
47 #76- Jolyn Maxine Caulfield Ceeta (G6MR)                     26.829
48 #17- Timo Szaba (Qzvarkian Qaz) *Q*                          26.909
49 #63- Jean Lannes (The French Army) *Q*                       26.953

Race: Everlong 300, Hapilopper City Raceway, Hapilopper (Speedway)
Lap Record: 23.783 sec.

Qualifying:

NSSCRA EverLong Series
 1 #47- Edmund Flanders (Hapilopper)                                24.217
 2 #40- Agata Kosaryova (Abanhfleft)                                24.219
 3 #30- Lexi Patterson (Saint Kanye)                                24.232
 4 #96- Alice Jepkosgei (TJUN-ia)                                   24.261
 5 #97- Robin Dragonovic (TJUN-ia)                                  24.263
 6 #98- Jixaka Motorai (Tropicorp)                                  24.290
 7 #5- Bryan Harrison (Tropicorp)                                   24.303
 8 #22- Pyotr Lavrentiev (Saint Kanye)                              24.310
 9 #10- Valkyrie Valentijn Samantha Constantine (Valentine Z)       24.394
10 #41- Turakki Mayelli (Vilita & Turori)                           24.404
11 #70- Gongming Gao (TJUN-ia)                                      24.425
12 #07- Kaarina Salo (Kimi-Suomi)                                   24.427
13 #7- Ilmari Pëkannen (Kimi-Suomi)                                 24.477
14 #42- Ganglie Zhe (Abanhfleft)                                    24.538
15 #77- Marcus Alan Ariel Reynolds (Valentine Z)                    24.571
16 #60- Rockii Ezis (Vilita & Turori)                               24.735
17 #49- Lotara Novorali (Vilita & Turori)                           25.050
18 #48- Ryan Carroll (Newmanistan)                                  25.186
19 #37- Cocoabo #37 (Tropicorp)                                     25.370
20 #24- Dwight Webster (Newmanistan)                                25.493
21 #50- Tawfiq Chouchane (Oontaz Dert Li Ng)                        25.684
22 #15- Allison Maddox (Sword Island)                               25.862
23 #04- Tyler Davidson (Sword Island)                               25.916
24 #05- Carson Zanby (Sword Island)                                 26.126
25 #72- Zacarias Policarpio (Oontaz Dert Li Ng)                     26.236
26 #14- Gerges Shenouda (Krbustan)                                  26.418
27 #13- Amr Tarif (Krbustan)                                        26.429
28 #34- Mariusz Psikuta (Dod Rava)                                  26.451
29 #59- Brookes Benson (Xanneria)                                   26.566
30 #73- Yuri Piotr (Qzvarkian Qaz)                                  26.569
31 #44- Alina Carbalo (Dod Rava)                                    26.682
32 #20- Daryl Calhoun (Saint Kanye)                                 26.758

(Minimum Time To Avoid DNF- 26.000 sec)

Race Results:

NSSCRA EverLong Series
 1 #77- Marcus Alan Ariel Reynolds (Valentine Z)                    24.191 WINNER
 2 #96- Alice Jepkosgei (TJUN-ia)                                   24.210
 3 #10- Valkyrie Valentijn Samantha Constantine (Valentine Z)       24.252
 4 #98- Jixaka Motorai (Tropicorp)                                  24.253
 5 #97- Robin Dragonovic (TJUN-ia)                                  24.270
 6 #5- Bryan Harrison (Tropicorp)                                   24.276
 7 #49- Lotara Novorali (Vilita & Turori)                           24.283
 8 #22- Pyotr Lavrentiev (Saint Kanye)                              24.294
 9 #40- Agata Kosaryova (Abanhfleft)                                24.343
10 #7- Ilmari Pëkannen (Kimi-Suomi)                                 24.380
11 #41- Turakki Mayelli (Vilita & Turori)                           24.480
12 #42- Ganglie Zhe (Abanhfleft)                                    24.509
13 #70- Gongming Gao (TJUN-ia)                                      24.537
14 #47- Edmund Flanders (Hapilopper)                                24.594
15 #20- Daryl Calhoun (Saint Kanye)                                 24.610
16 #30- Lexi Patterson (Saint Kanye)                                24.694
17 #07- Kaarina Salo (Kimi-Suomi)                                   24.780
18 #48- Ryan Carroll (Newmanistan)                                  24.798
19 #50- Tawfiq Chouchane (Oontaz Dert Li Ng)                        25.057
20 #72- Zacarias Policarpio (Oontaz Dert Li Ng)                     25.185
21 #60- Rockii Ezis (Vilita & Turori)                               25.304
22 #37- Cocoabo #37 (Tropicorp)                                     25.386
23 #24- Dwight Webster (Newmanistan)                                25.524
24 #15- Allison Maddox (Sword Island)                               25.724
25 #04- Tyler Davidson (Sword Island)                               25.774
26 #44- Alina Carbalo (Dod Rava)                                    26.438 DNF
27 #14- Gerges Shenouda (Krbustan)                                  26.464 DNF
28 #13- Amr Tarif (Krbustan)                                        26.509 DNF
29 #73- Yuri Piotr (Qzvarkian Qaz)                                  26.560 DNF
30 #59- Brookes Benson (Xanneria)                                   26.607 DNF
31 #05- Carson Zanby (Sword Island)                                 26.675 DNF
32 #34- Mariusz Psikuta (Dod Rava)                                  26.697 DNF

Point Standings (After 15 Races):

+-----+--------------------------------------------------------------+--------+
| Pos |                  EverLong Contenders Series                  | Points |
+-----+--------------------------------------------------------------+--------+
|   1 | #22- Pyotr Lavrentiev (Saint Kanye)*                         |    455 |
|   2 | #98- Jixaka Motorai (Tropicorp)*                             |    453 |
|   3 | #10- Valkyrie Valentijn Samantha Constantine (Valentine Z)** |    449 |
|   4 | #30- Lexi Patterson (Saint Kanye)**                          |    431 |
|   5 | #96- Alice Jepkosgei (TJUN-ia)*                              |    426 |
|   6 | #40- Agata Kosaryova (Abanhfleft)**                          |    420 |
|   7 | #47- Edmund Flanders (Hapilopper)                            |    410 |
|   8 | #97- Robin Dragonovic (TJUN-ia)                              |    408 |
|   9 | #42- Ganglie Zhe (Abanhfleft)*                               |    406 |
|  10 | #70- Gongming Gao (TJUN-ia)*                                 |    401 |
|  11 | #20- Daryl Calhoun (Saint Kanye)**                           |    396 |
|  12 | #7- Ilmari Pëkannen (Kimi-Suomi)                             |    389 |
|  13 | #5- Bryan Harrison (Tropicorp)*                              |    385 |
|  14 | #49- Lotara Novorali (Vilita & Turori)                       |    380 |
|  15 | #60- Rockii Ezis (Vilita & Turori)                           |    370 |
|  16 | #41- Turakki Mayelli (Vilita & Turori)                       |    367 |
|  17 | #37- Cocoabo #37 (Tropicorp)                                 |    363 |
|  18 | #77- Marcus Alan Ariel Reynolds (Valentine Z)*               |    351 |
|  19 | #07- Kaarina Salo (Kimi-Suomi)                               |    333 |
|  20 | #48- Ryan Carroll (Newmanistan)                              |    305 |
|  21 | #24- Dwight Webster (Newmanistan)                            |    302 |
|  22 | #50- Tawfiq Chouchane (Oontaz Dert Li Ng)                    |    249 |
|  23 | #73- Yuri Piotr (Qzvarkian Qaz)                              |    242 |
|  24 | #72- Zacarias Policarpio (Oontaz Dert Li Ng)                 |    234 |
|  25 | #04- Tyler Davidson (Sword Island)                           |    185 |
|  26 | #59- Brookes Benson (Xanneria)                               |    182 |
|  27 | #15- Allison Maddox (Sword Island)                           |    174 |
|  28 | #05- Carson Zanby (Sword Island)                             |    173 |
|  29 | #44- Alina Carbalo (Dod Rava)                                |    141 |
|  30 | #34- Mariusz Psikuta (Dod Rava)                              |    123 |
|  31 | #13- Amr Tarif (Krbustan)                                    |    119 |
|  32 | #14- Gerges Shenouda (Krbustan)                              |    112 |
|  33 | #33- Joshua Pelayo (Kannapian Sports Federation)             |    111 |
|  34 | #11- Luist Mata (Kharao)                                     |     97 |
|  35 | #91- Aidan Rowan (Kannapian Sports Federation)               |     79 |
|  36 | #87- Agdta Ndugane (Kharao)                                  |     73 |
|  37 | #43- Cynthia Verdenne (Kharao)                               |     65 |
+-----+--------------------------------------------------------------+--------+

by **The French Army** » Tue Apr 19, 2022 6:54 pm

Andre Massena was getting more practice than he wanted dodging projectiles. You would think getting away from the Napoleonic Wars would mean fewer projectiles being aimed his way, but it did not always work out that way. This time it was Jean Lannes hurling his helmet across the French Army's garage because he was upset about failing to qualify for the Super Skychief 500. Someone on the #63 crew had messed up mounting one of the wheels on Lannes' car, so it started wobbling while he was driving his qualifying lap. Lannes looked like a dumbass and he had the slowest lap time in the whole field. This didn't really have anything to do with Massena, but Lannes had not yet figured out who was actually responsible, he felt like smashing someone's face in, and Massena was hanging around looking smug.

"Wipe that smirk off your face you smug fucker!" Lannes roared. His helmet ricocheted off the wall and bounced across the ground at Massena's feet. Next, Lannes turned on the mechanics, who were a mix of Frenchmen and Jouoangquoirens. "What the fuck did you assholes do to my car??? How hard can it be to put a fucking wheel on a fucking car??? The fucking Romans knew how to put a wheel on a chariot, but you dipshits can't figure out how to put a wheel on a car in 18-fucking-11???"

Massena picked up the helmet and tossed it back in Lannes direction. "Put a sock in it, Lannes."

Lannes was too busy ranting to catch the helmet or duck out of the way, so it hit him right in the face. "Oh, you are fucking DEAD!"

"You were supposed to catch it!" Massena protested.

Several people had to intervene to stop the two French marshals from brawling with each other.

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