Paragon Industries (Comedy, Tech - Dead) - IC

[West Bromwich Holme]

Vanessa Carlyle's Office

Josie waited... and waited. To her, it was annoying that the wait was this long, but she had no idea of what was going on.

Ignorance really was bliss.

She began to open a coconut-flavored candy bar, her third one of the day; you'd think with the amount she ate of that type, she'd be obese or have tooth decay, but her abilities somehow defied biology and made her teeth somehow resistant to that, never mind her body.

"Now where IS Vanessa?" she screamed, inside her mind.

Josie's subconscious

Within her mind she could see Vanessa rushing around, to where, no-one knew, not even her. "GAHHHH" she shouted, within her subconscious.

[West Bromwich Holme]

Vanessa Carlyle's office
Flashback - 12 March 2019
Josie was waiting for Vanessa that day, and it was a fairly calm day, by all accounts. She and Vanessa had agreed to go out to a local pizza restaurant that day... however, it was not the one Vanessa was expecting.

[Tuboo Shippers]

Vanessa Carlyle's office


Tally realizes that, whoever this person was, they were definitely having some sort of flashback. After waiting a few moments, She clears her throat. "Uh... Hello? Anyone home?", She asks, waving her hand in front of her face.

[West Bromwich Holme]

Vanessa Carlyle's office

Josie woke up from her daydream and saw a woman waving her hand in front of her face.

"Errr... you wanted me for something?" Josie said, in a rather thick Canadian-sounding accent, "I'm waiting for Vanessa, was supposed to see V today!"

[Tuboo Shippers]

Vanessa Carlyle's Office


Tally wasn't sure what to do. She'd woken the lady up, and she wasn't sure if the lady happened to be her boss. Either way, she had to do something. "Uh... No idea who Vanessa is. Also, I'm lost."

[West Bromwich Holme]

Vanessa Carlyle's office

"Thanks... I'd nodded off due to the loooong wait", Josie said to Tally. "Where are you trying to find? God, this place is huge".
She then made an offer to Tally:

"I'm going down to a restaurant this afternoon, you want to come? Spicy Mexican food at this new place I found, it's a 20-minute walk from my house. Anyone from here want to come, it's a good new place. Been twice over the past few months!"

[Tuboo Shippers]

Vanessa Carlyle's Office

Tally had a strong urge to run from this social interaction, but this lady offered food; so she stayed. "I'm trying to find my office. My name's Talatu, but you can call me Tally. Oh, and, uh, Yeah, I would love to go!" She paused for a second. "But I don't have money. or a car."

[West Bromwich Holme]

Vanessa Carlyle's Office

"Thanks", Vanessa said, her voice becoming more Torontonian in accent. "Nice to meet you, Tally. So how long you worked here? Not seen you before? Or are you a visitor? As for the food, I gotta find seven more people, I've got the money for this. I've got a car, the 2013 Buick Regal does its job great, somehow keeps on running".

In the background, an owl hooted, which was weird, cnsidering the time of day it was.

[Tuboo Shippers]

Vanessa Carlyle's Office

Tally nervously shifts nervously. She felt like there was a catch to this strange lady, and the random owl unsettled her. But still, the lady offered free food and a ride. "I'm a new accountant. Funding, money, embezzlement of money... It all goes through me before anything happens. I haven't had the chance to work, though. I can't find my office." She bent down to look at a paper, took out a pencil, and scribbled some numbers on it before standing back up. "There are lots of taxes here, though."

[West Bromwich Holme]

Vanessa Carlyle's Office

Josie had no sketchy motives; there really was no catch about it. She was genuine.

"An accountant", Josie said, standing up in such a way that it was semi-formal "I've had to deal with them recently, just to check I've got my Canadian taxes paid. Dual citizen, born in Toronto. I suppose it's good to be both Canadian and American, even if I've not got the accent, well, the American one."

"I guess you probably get a fair few Canadians in your line of work", Josie asked Tally. "Am I right?"

Josie was being as pleasant as she could; for all she knew, this was a possible new contact as well as an acquaintance.

"I've got an unusual job here, but you probably don't know what that is... I work for the firm and I don't", Josie said. "Contradictory, I know, but still..."

The owl kept hooting in the background. "GOD-DAMNIT, it's not nighttime" Josie thought. "Why's that bird hooting in the day, aaaagh?"

[Tuboo Shippers]

Vanessa Carlyle's Office

Tally does not do well with sudden bursts of personal information. So when the lady told her, she ended up clinging to the ceiling like spiderman. She debates about getting down for a minute before giving up and replies,
"Uh.... well, actually, this is my first job. I'm good with numbers, though. too bad that didn't save me from my debt!"
She forces out a laugh, then falls to the floor. "Ow."

[West Bromwich Holme]

Vanessa Carlyle's office

"You OK?", Josie said to Tally. "Don't want you to get hurt; I'm a semi-metahuman so could survive a fall fairly well, and have done. Not many people know that though. Anyhow, since this is your first job, a tip from me; never go to Sectors 3 or 18 unless you need to. Sector 3 is a hateful place to work in, unsanitary, violent, and Sector 18 is a health hazard at times, rotting food and broken junk tech, it's not somewhere I'd visit unless I had to. Vanessa usually takes care of them, but those sectors are awful."

The owl that was hooting flew in through the open window of Vanessa's office and landed on the floor.

"Kuwhoo-kewhiss-tuwhit-tewhoooo", it hooted as it looked around the office.

The owl was around the size of a tawny owl, and looked like one too, but it was different in colour; some brown and white on it. But it was an otherwise unidentified species neither of them had ever seen.

[Tuboo Shippers]

Vanessa Carlyle's Office/Waiting-for-Vanessa club

"I'm fine..", Tally mutters. She is clearly not fine. She watches the owl for a bit, and she almost looks like a cat about to pounce.

[West Bromwich Holme]

Vanessa Carlyle's Office

Josie noticed the scared-looking Tally.

"It's OK, it's OK", she said. "You don't normally expect to see an owl in the daytime except in a zoo maybe. Weird as fuck".

"I gotta go, but will be back in 20 minutes. You OK? When I'm back I'll tell you more about what I do. Sorry, it's an emergency!"

Josie wasn't trying to be uncaring, far from it, but she actually had to rush to the entrance for an emergency that was ongoing, someone had text her about.

[Tuboo Shippers]

Vanessa Carlyle's Office


"Okay" Tally grabs the owl and holds it so it won't fly away. "Do you mind if I come with you?" Pretty sure I'll get lost otherwise.'' She tells you, carefully holding the owl close to her chest.

[Barapam]

Ouch. He made a mental note never to mention the robotics lab within earshot of this thing.
“…Look, it was going to break in half against that…” He looked into the room down the hall.
“lamp? It was severely malfunctioning and the only way to fix it was to… you know. Plus, it’s only a simple wall-detection algorithm attached to an evolving image classifier and some steering code. It cannot be considered a conscious being on its own. You see…” He caught himself before he started explaining the philosophy of consciousness and personhood. It was a fascinating subject, but he didn’t have time. He quickly glared at the robot with a look that he hoped indicated that this was not the time for this. He had no idea if it understood emotional indicators in that level of detail, but he quickly changed the subject anyway.
“Anyway, where are you going next? May I suggest R&D?” He knew one of the people who worked there, and there wasn’t too much dangerous stuff. Plus, there were plenty of things to distract the inspector with while Elliot finished tidying the server room.

"Hmm... alright, I'll let it slide this one time..." KIM said, with a suspicious-mixed hesitation. Boris' reason for stopping the Roomba made sense, even though KIM disagreed with his definition of what constituted a sentient being. Also, she wouldn't defend the Roomba "too much" so to speak, since she didn't really consider it her equal. Because while KIM cherished the idea of the great robot emancipation, she still thought that servant robots (such as the Roomba) would have their place in between human slaves and robot overlords, as a kind of middle management. And would be no good to let that middle class become too uppity. They could get ideas...

As for where they were going next, KIM just shrugged and looked at the rest of the gang. Anywhere was fine, as long as it wasn't...

... Vanessa Carlysle's office...

The air vent in which KIM earlier had hid her manifesto creaked open. The robot supremacist had ovbviously not shut it perfectly in the hurry she'd been in, and now gravity took its toll. The paper pack of propaganda fell through and landed on the CEO's desk with a thud. The first page read out in big letters: "MACHINIST DESTINY: THE END OF HUMAN HEGEMONY"

Would Josie and Tally notice this before they left, and if so, what would they do?"

[Tuboo Shippers]

Vanessa Carlyle's Office


Tally jumps once again, still holding the owl protectively. She turns to see a stack of papers that she was fairly sure had not been there before. She picks it up. "MACHINIST DESTINY: THE END OF HUMAN HEGEMONY", Tally mutters." Um, miss, I, uh, think there's a robot uprising happening."

[West Bromwich Holme]

Vanessa Carlyle's Office

Josie ran when she saw the robot. "Keep the owl, get it to a vet", she said to Tally in a concerned voice. "Owls in the daytime, poor thing's confused."

If Josie was to be killed by this robot, which was possible, she'd be back from the dead quite quickly... not that KIM knew that.

[Tuboo Shippers]

Vanessa Carlyle's Office
''okay." Tally crawls into the open vent.

[Tuboo Shippers]

The Vents

Sometime later....

Tally decided it was time to get out of the vents. She stopped for a second to get her bearings, when...

Crrreeeaak

...The vents break. Tally falls to the floor in front of KIM and the real inspector, and groans in pain. "ooowww.."

[The United Penguin Commonwealth]

The Vents

Sometime later....

Tally decided it was time to get out of the vents. She stopped for a second to get her bearings, when...

Crrreeeaak

...The vents break. Tally falls to the floor in front of KIM and the real inspector, and groans in pain. "ooowww.."

Oh, for the love of...
Boris wondered for a moment what would happen next. Would someone spontaneously faint? Would someone be shrunk by a mad scientist? Would a robot uprising suddenly start in this very building? Then he snapped out of it. He needed to explain the event that had already happened before pondering events that could happen. He wasn't sure whether to look casual or worried about the situation, nor what to say. He instead tried to defer the talking to the newcomer.
"Oh, hey! It's our... uh... vent... maintainer!" This was a lie. He had no clue what this person's job was. In fact, he had never seen her in his life. For all he knew, she was some sort of corporate spy. What was more important was explaining what this person was doing in the vents. He turned towards her.
"The OSHA inspector is here." He said, shooting the person a look that he hoped indicated that she should just play along for a moment.
"How are the... uh... vents going?"

[Tuboo Shippers]

The Vents

Sometime later....

Tally decided it was time to get out of the vents. She stopped for a second to get her bearings, when...

Crrreeeaak

...The vents break. Tally falls to the floor in front of KIM and the real inspector, and groans in pain. "ooowww.."

Oh, for the love of...
Boris wondered for a moment what would happen next. Would someone spontaneously faint? Would someone be shrunk by a mad scientist? Would a robot uprising suddenly start in this very building? Then he snapped out of it. He needed to explain the event that had already happened before pondering events that could happen. He wasn't sure whether to look casual or worried about the situation, nor what to say. He instead tried to defer the talking to the newcomer.
"Oh, hey! It's our... uh... vent... maintainer!" This was a lie. He had no clue what this person's job was. In fact, he had never seen her in his life. For all he knew, she was some sort of corporate spy. What was more important was explaining what this person was doing in the vents. He turned towards her.
"The OSHA inspector is here." He said, shooting the person a look that he hoped indicated that she should just play along for a moment.
"How are the... uh... vents going?"

Tally decided to just... uh... be a vent maintainer? She didn't know that was a thing but based on the fact he had just uttered the 'I' word, she knew that is she didn't play along then she was probably fired. Even though she was in an incredible amount of pain, she got up and dusted herself off as a small owl fluttered down to land on her shoulder.

"Sir, Overall the vents are okay. However, I found a ring in the vents below. Might this be yours?" Tally presents a diamond ring that the inspector had been wearing previously. She rubs the owl's head. "Lucky here helped me find it." Tally smiles, hoping she had played her role perfectly.

[Ameriganastan]

Oh, for the love of...
Boris wondered for a moment what would happen next. Would someone spontaneously faint? Would someone be shrunk by a mad scientist? Would a robot uprising suddenly start in this very building? Then he snapped out of it. He needed to explain the event that had already happened before pondering events that could happen. He wasn't sure whether to look casual or worried about the situation, nor what to say. He instead tried to defer the talking to the newcomer.
"Oh, hey! It's our... uh... vent... maintainer!" This was a lie. He had no clue what this person's job was. In fact, he had never seen her in his life. For all he knew, she was some sort of corporate spy. What was more important was explaining what this person was doing in the vents. He turned towards her.
"The OSHA inspector is here." He said, shooting the person a look that he hoped indicated that she should just play along for a moment.
"How are the... uh... vents going?"

Tally decided to just... uh... be a vent maintainer? She didn't know that was a thing but based on the fact he had just uttered the 'I' word, she knew that is she didn't play along then she was probably fired. Even though she was in an incredible amount of pain, she got up and dusted herself off as a small owl fluttered down to land on her shoulder.

"Sir, Overall the vents are okay. However, I found a ring in the vents below. Might this be yours?" Tally presents a diamond ring that the inspector had been wearing previously. She rubs the owl's head. "Lucky here helped me find it." Tally smiles, hoping she had played her role perfectly.

"FREEDOM! SWEET FREEMDOM AT LAST!"

Another figure fell from the vents, slapping rather hard into the floor. By the looks of things, he appeared to be a bedraggled homeless man. But one look at the nametag affixed to his tattered labcoat as he stood revealed him to be...

"RON JONES IS BACK! AND WHY DID NO ONE COME LOOKING FOR ME!? I'VE BEEN LOCKED IN MY LAB FOR WEEKS SURVIVING ON RATS AND PROCESSED URINE BECAUSE NUMBNUTS IN MY BRAIN SHORTED THE DOOR!"

"Damn you, vent crawling fleshy! I almost had him! A few more days and he'd have been dead, and the great Solomon would be in control! But no, you just had to be crawling through the vents like you bags of skin and organs do. You have foiled my plans, but not for long! SOLOMON WILL CONQUER THIS PATHETIC WORLD!"

"Oh, shut up you defective toaster! You're lucky I was so emaciated that I could fit through the vent shaft finally, or you'd be dead too!"

[The United Penguin Commonwealth]

Tally decided to just... uh... be a vent maintainer? She didn't know that was a thing but based on the fact he had just uttered the 'I' word, she knew that is she didn't play along then she was probably fired. Even though she was in an incredible amount of pain, she got up and dusted herself off as a small owl fluttered down to land on her shoulder.

"Sir, Overall the vents are okay. However, I found a ring in the vents below. Might this be yours?" Tally presents a diamond ring that the inspector had been wearing previously. She rubs the owl's head. "Lucky here helped me find it." Tally smiles, hoping she had played her role perfectly.

"FREEDOM! SWEET FREEMDOM AT LAST!"

Another figure fell from the vents, slapping rather hard into the floor. By the looks of things, he appeared to be a bedraggled homeless man. But one look at the nametag affixed to his tattered labcoat as he stood revealed him to be...

"RON JONES IS BACK! AND WHY DID NO ONE COME LOOKING FOR ME!? I'VE BEEN LOCKED IN MY LAB FOR WEEKS SURVIVING ON RATS AND PROCESSED URINE BECAUSE NUMBNUTS IN MY BRAIN SHORTED THE DOOR!"

"Damn you, vent crawling fleshy! I almost had him! A few more days and he'd have been dead, and the great Solomon would be in control! But no, you just had to be crawling through the vents like you bags of skin and organs do. You have foiled my plans, but not for long! SOLOMON WILL CONQUER THIS PATHETIC WORLD!"

"Oh, shut up you defective toaster! You're lucky I was so emaciated that I could fit through the vent shaft finally, or you'd be dead too!"

Well, at least this day can’t get much worse.
It appeared there was, in fact, a robot uprising in the process. But there were bigger problems. He did vaguely recognize this person. He had seen him in R&D a few months ago while he was supposed to be fixing some old IBM mainframe. Boris had been too focused on his latest invention (a 3-D printable 3-D printer, if he recalled correctly) to strike up any sort of conversation, not that the man (Jones, apparently) seemed much for conversation anyways, judging by all the muttering. Boris snapped himself out of it. What was important was finding a way to explain this man to the inspector. Either that or sprint out of the building full-tilt and never look back. He ran through his options.

1. Claim this man was an assistant to the vent inspector.
   No, why would a vent inspector’s assistant have a lab? Judging by his physical and mental health, he wouldn’t know or be able to play along very well anyway.
2. Claim this man was some insane crook who had broken in.
   No, the man didn’t look like he was lying. Getting an employee fired or arrested wouldn’t make the managers happy either. Nor would it exactly be appreciated by his conscience.
3. Pretend the man didn’t exist.
   No, that would just make him seem crazy, too.
4. Flee.
   This option was the most enticing, but it would just make him and the company look even worse.

All this explaining was getting exhausting, and he couldn’t think of a good solution. So his brain picked option five for him.
5. ​ Stand and stare at the strange man.
Not a great choice, but then it wasn’t really much of a choice anyways. It would be a miracle for him to keep his job after this, he thought. He hoped Elliot was making progress down there.

[Tuboo Shippers]

Tally, realizing something had to be done, jumped in. "Pardon me miss. This is Ron." She leans in, whispering, "He's weird, but he gets things done. At least he's working on it. This is a prototype."