[ABANDONED]When The Game Gets Goofy

[Random Country 453632]

I don't really know if this topic was already covered (Game show contestants being abused), but here you go I guess

Abandoned, working on a new draft but still using the same ideas. This time, inspired by Squid Game!

[title]When The Game Gets Goofy

[desc]A local TV game show aired on Channel @@POPULATION@@ was found physically harming its contestants in a segment about climbing a stack of boxes. The game show host was reportedly revolting against the nation's pacifist laws. The incident sparked anger and fear among the citizens.

[validity]Valid for nations with high Pacifism

[option1]"This is thorough disrespect to our citizens!" complains your Minister of Social Rights @@RANDOMNAME@@ as @@HE@@ violently gulps @@HIS@@ cup of sweet tea. "The contestants didn't deserve the cruelty these stupid hosts forced them through! To stop any further events like this, we should punish those who try! Very very VERy hefty fine of very many @@CURRENCY@@s from the government, maybe?"
[effect1]The jackpot of 'The @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Game Show' has had a hefty amount of @@CURRENCY@@ added via government request

[option2]"Now, I agree," utters one of the battered contestants @@RANDOMNNAME@@ got to your room after escaping his hospital, "However, I-.. I f-feel that a fine is too hard-.. harsh. Y-you should probably lessen it to a more si-simple punishment. Oh, a-and.. also..." @@HE@@ fails to finish his sentence as he faints onto the floor.
[effect2]abusive game show hosts are given ten days of community service

[option3]As the medics take @@RANDOMNAME_2@@ out of your office on a stretcher, a side commentator with the nickname 'Big @@ANIMALINITIALS@@' approaches you, known for the controversies he has created in the press. "Well, uh, you see, uh, those contestants are just another three of us. We have @@POPULATION@@ @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ in this area, and losing one would be like losing a Riptide Land game piece. Also, those who consider it as slavery might as well be right! We have an endless supply of citizens, and people should be able to take advantage of it!"
[effect3]it is legal to make people freefall from a 12,000 ft altitude against their will.

[option4]"What? Slavery?" remarks the Intolerable @@RANDOMNAME@@ while wearing a violet-striped tunic. "The Holy Order of the Violetists must take a stand on this! All punishments for abuse must fall to the supreme decision of our Overlord! All decisions at all must have an influence by us, too. Promise us to always support your nation through our faiths, and we'll guarantee all serious matters are fixed at once, you pilfering swashbuckler scum!" @@HE@@ then proceeds to chant highly strange mantras.
[vailidity]No atheism policy
[effect4]game show hosts who make grammar errors are sent to an isolated glowing cavern to repent.

Color commentator became side commentator, polishing option 4, other stuff Daarw- Daa- Daar- D-Daarwyrth?

[title]Game Show Plays No Games

[desc]A local TV game show aired on Channel @@POPULATION@@ was found physically abusing its contestants in a segment about climbing a stack of boxes. The game show would pull boxes away and make the contestants fall, potentially injuring them. The incident sparked anger and fear across the notably pacifist nation.

[validity]Must have high Compassion and/or Pacifism rank, top 10% and higher

[option1]"This is thorough disrespect to our citizens!" complains your Minister of Social Rights @@RANDOMNAME@@ as @@HE@@ violently gulps @@HIS@@ cup of sweet tea. "The contestants didn't deserve the cruelty these stupid hosts forced them through! To stop any further events like this, we should punish those who try! 40,000 @@CURRENCY@@ fine from the government, maybe?"
[effect1]The jackpot of 'The @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Game Show' has had 40,000 @@CURRENCY@@ added via government request

[option2]"Now, I agree," utters one of the battered contestants @@RANDOMNNAME@@ who somehow got to your room while limping @@HIS@@ arm from the game show. "However, I-.. I f-feel that a fine is too hard-.. harsh. Y-you should probably lessen it to a more si-simple punishment. Oh, a-and.. also..." @@HE@@ fails to finish his sentence as he faints onto the floor.
[effect2]abusive game show hosts are given ten days of community service

[option3]As the medics take @@RANDOMNAME_2@@ out of your office on a stretcher, a controversial color commentator known by the nickname 'Big @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@' approaches you. "Well, uh, you see, uh, those contestants are just another three of us. We have @@POPULATION@@ @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ in this area, and losing one would be like losing a Riptide Land game piece. Also, those who consider it as slavery might as well be right! We have an endless supply of citizens, and people should be able to take advantage of it!"
[effect3]it is legal to make people freefall from a 12,000 ft altitude against their will.

[option4]"What? Slavery?" remarks the Intolerable @@RANDOMNAME@@ while wearing a red-striped tunic with ripped parts shaped like a pentagram. "The Holy Order of the Violetists must take a stand on this! All punishments for abuse must fall to the supreme decision of our Overlord! All decisions at all must have an influence by us, too. Promise us to always support your nation through our faiths, and we'll guarantee all serious matters are fixed at once, you pilfering swashbuckler scum!" @@HE@@ then proceeds to chant highly strange mantras while facing precisely 66.6° degrees southeast.
[vailidity]No atheism policy
[effect4]game show hosts who make grammar errors are sent to an isolated glowing cavern to repent.

I decided to get rid of Maxtopia in this issue as it throws off the entire issue and the options, as pointed out by Bears Armed, as well as changing the group in Option 4 to the Violetists. I also made the issue valid for nations with higher pacifism than average. Say, 10% in the world ranking. I also realized I spell the word DEMONYM wrong everywhere lol

[title]Game Show Plays No Games

[desc]A Maxtopian TV game show was caught physically abusing its contestants in a segment. One of them is a 30-year-old @@DENONYM@@ man @@RANDOMMALENAME@@. The incident sparked anger and fear across the nation.

[validity]Must not have the No Internet and No Emigration policies

[option1]"This is utter disrespect to our home country!" complains your Minister of Social Rights @@RANDOMNAME@@ as @@HE@@ violently gulps @@HIS@@ cup of red tea. "@@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME_1@@ didn't deserve the torture these stupid Maxtopians forced him to undergo! To stop any further doings like this, we should punish those who try! Even with death, even with slaughter!"
[effect1]citizens who hit the jackpot on 'The National Wheel,' are often executed.

[option2]"Now, I agree," utters the battered 30-year-old @@RANDOMMALENAME_1@@ who somehow got to your office while limping his arm from the game show. "However, I-.. I f-feel that execution is too hard-.. harsh. Y-you should probably lessen it to a more si-simple punishment. Oh, a-and.. also..." he fails to finish his sentence as he faints onto the floor.
[effect2]abusive game show hosts are given ten days of community service.

[option3]As the medics got @@RANDOMMALENAME_1@@ out of your office on a stretcher, a Maxtopian color commentator known by the nickname 'Big @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@' approaches you. "Well, uh, you see, uh, that @@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME_1@@ is just another one of us. We have @@POPULATION@@ @@DENONYMPLURAL@@ in this area, and losing one would be like losing a Riptide Land game piece. Also, those who consider it as slavery might as well be right! We have an endless supply of citizens, and people should be able to take advantage of it!"
[effect4]it is legal to make people freefall from a 12,000 ft altitude against their will.

[option5]"What? Slavery?" remarks the Intolerable @@RANDOMNAME@@ while wearing a red-striped jacket with tears shaped like a pentagram. "The Holy Order of the Destroyers must take a stand on this! All punishments for abuse must fall to the supreme decision of our Overlord Nathan! All decisions must have an influence by us, too. Promise us to always support your nation through our faiths, and we'll ensure all serious matters are fixed at once!" @@HE@@ then proceeds to chant highly strange mantras while facing precisely 66.6° degrees southeast.
[vailidity]No atheism policy
[effect5]game show hosts who make grammar mistakes are sent to an isolated glowing cavern to repent.

[Random Country 453632]

expansion area

[Random Country 453632]

seems like absolutely no one cares about this draft, that's a let down considering it's my first

[Bears Armed]

seems like absolutely no one cares about this draft, that's a let down considering it's my first

This is often a relatively slow section of the forums.

[desc]A Maxtopian TV game show was caught physically abusing its contestants in a segment. One of them is a 30-year-old @@DENONYM@@ man @@RANDOMMALENAME@@. The incident sparked anger and fear across the nation.

[validity]Must not have the No Internet and No Emigration policies

[option1]"This is utter disrespect to our home country!" complains your Minister of Social Rights @@RANDOMNAME@@ as @@HE@@ violently gulps @@HIS@@ cup of red tea. "@@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME_1@@ didn't deserve the torture these stupid Maxtopians forced him to undergo! To stop any further doings like this, we should punish those who try! Even with death, even with slaughter!"

Just to clarify, is he calling for war against Maxtopia? Sending an assassin into Maxtopia to kill that game-show host? What?

[effect1]citizens who hit the jackpot on 'The National Wheel,' are often executed.

This doesn't seem to fit. If 'The National Wheel' is that Maxtopian show then you've basically got that speaker saying "We should stop them" and then your nation not doing anything to stop them, but if it's a @@DEMONYMADEJECTIVE@@ show then your speaker is saying "We should stop them" and then your nation is doing the same as the Maxtopians...

[option2]"Now, I agree," utters the battered 30-year-old @@RANDOMMALENAME_1@@ who somehow got to your office while limping his arm from the game show. "However, I-.. I f-feel that execution is too hard-.. harsh. Y-you should probably lessen it to a more si-simple punishment. Oh, a-and.. also..." he fails to finish his sentence as he faints onto the floor.
[effect2]abusive game show hosts are given ten days of community service.

Okay-ish... although of course that will still have no effect on game-show hosts who, like the one in this issue's description, are in other nations rather than your own.

[option3]As the medics got @@RANDOMMALENAME_1@@ out of your office on a stretcher, a Maxtopian color commentator known by the nickname 'Big @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@' approaches you. "Well, uh, you see, uh, that @@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME_1@@ is just another one of us. We have @@POPULATION@@ @@DENONYMPLURAL@@ in this area, and losing one would be like losing a Riptide Land game piece. Also, those who consider it as slavery might as well be right! We have an endless supply of citizens, and people should be able to take advantage of it!"
[effect4]it is legal to make people freefall from a 12,000 ft altitude against their will.

The Maxtopian is apparently speaking about people in Maxtopia: The effect line is apparently talking about people in the issue-receiving nation.

[option5]"What? Slavery?" remarks the Intolerable @@RANDOMNAME@@ while wearing a red-striped jacket with tears shaped like a pentagram. "The Holy Order of the Destroyers must take a stand on this! All punishments for abuse must fall to the supreme decision of our Overlord Nathan! All decisions must have an influence by us, too. Promise us to always support your nation through our faiths, and we'll ensure all serious matters are fixed at once!" @@HE@@ then proceeds to chant highly strange mantras while facing precisely 66.6° degrees southeast.
[vailidity]No atheism policy
[effect5]game show hosts who make grammar mistakes are sent to an isolated glowing cavern to repent.[/spoiler]

This comes out of nowhere. It might be better to use an existing groups (such as the Violetists) instead.

What happened to 'option4' ?

[Random Country 453632]

Bears Armed says stuff

Okay, I decided to rid the maxtopian part since it just throws off the issue. I'm working on the draft

[Random Country 453632]

Also, I feel like the title "Game Show Plays No Games" is too 'issue no. 200s to 300s', any suggestions?

[Daarwyrth]

The validity is "valid for all nations" but I feel that is where the problem lies. Violent game shows are commonplace on television, or at least, they are in country. There are programs like Survivor which put contestants through much pain and suffering, marooned on an island, or Wipeout which was an obstacle course that could knock you down and such.

So, I feel game shows like the ones you describe in the premise would be more problematic in nations with high pacifism, and/or compassion/niceness. Those nations might find violent TV shows or game shows putting people through pain or abuse questionable.

[Random Country 453632]

The validity is "valid for all nations" but I feel that is where the problem lies. Violent game shows are commonplace on television, or at least, they are in country. There are programs like Survivor which put contestants through much pain and suffering, marooned on an island, or Wipeout which was an obstacle course that could knock you down and such.

So, I feel game shows like the ones you describe in the premise would be more problematic in nations with high pacifism, and/or compassion/niceness. Those nations might find violent TV shows or game shows putting people through pain or abuse questionable.

Thanks for the advice!

[Random Country 453632]

/bump

[Random Country 453632]

/bump

[Daarwyrth]

The incident sparked anger and fear across the notably pacifist nation.

I would suggest to change "the notably pacifist nation" to "your notably pacifist nation". Sounds a bit more personal and less distant

This is thorough disrespect to our citizens

I would suggest to change this to "They're thoroughly disrespecting our noble citizens!", but that's up to you.

40,000 @@CURRENCY@@ fine

I strongly urge you to remove the 40,000 and change it to something more ambiguous. NationStates doesn't track the value of a currency, and so for example 40,000 krulders (my nation's currency) might be a totally different value than 40,000 Random Currency. A phrase like "a hefty fine" conveys the same sentiment without specifying the fine.

The jackpot of 'The @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Game Show' has had 40,000 @@CURRENCY@@ added via government request

Idem dito. The 40,000 specification should be removed, and I feel the effect line should be change to something else to make it a little funnier.

while limping @@HIS@@ arm

I'm not sure what you mean with this, is this a turn of phrase? If not, I would suggest to simply say he limped into the office somehow.

abusive game show hosts are given ten days of community service

I would suggest a different effect line here, perhaps this: "game shows are hiring new people for their special Community Service department".

a controversial color commentator

What do you mean by this? Is the commentator controversial, or is the color he is wearing controversial? I think it should be simplified to make it clearer.

a red-striped tunic with ripped parts shaped like a pentagram

66.6° degrees

Violetists are always depicted to wear purple stuff, not red. And I am not sure a pentagram was ever said to be part of their religious symbolism. I don't think they're meant as satanic, usually they reference the tentacled being Violet instead of the devil.

[Random Country 453632]

-snipped-

First thing you said:
While I like the idea, I feel it makes the issue think you're an autocratic nation, and I don't like autocracy. Plus, I already changed this part in my offline draft area.

2nd thing:
Yeah, 'This is thorough disrespect to our people' is good for me.

3rd and 4th:

Yeah, I agree.

5th:
Well, I could, but I feel the effect line lines up better with the injured contestant suggesting the punishment from the 1st guy be lessened.

6th:
Now that I think about it, it does kind of confuse people. I'll change it to 'side commentator'. I also switched up some parts in the draft.

7th:
Yeah, I suppose. I'm working on the draft now

Thanks for the suggestions!

[Akkoro]

I like the premise, but the execution's really rough around the edges. The two main problems I see are that the writing comes off as stilted and you have a lot of seemingly irrelevant phrases that don't contribute to the issue.

A local TV game show aired on Channel @@POPULATION@@ was found physically harming its contestants in a segment about climbing a stack of boxes. The game show host was reportedly revolting against the nation's pacifist laws. The incident sparked anger and fear among the citizens.

The second sentence ("The game show...") isn't necessary. Game shows harming their contestants is enough of a premise without muddying the waters with "pacifist laws" and political agendas and whatnot. The pacifism stuff also creates another problem: if game show hosts are harming their contestants in violation of national law, wouldn't they have all been arrested/penalized by now? Your first two options discuss implementing penalties for harming contestants, but wouldn't there already be penalties in nations with these "pacifist laws"?

Valid for nations with high Pacifism

Restricting the validity like this isn't necessary. Harming game show contestants could easily be a problem in any nation regardless of pacifism. Perhaps you could adjust the premise to be more along the lines of impoverished/destitute contestants willingly signing up for game shows they know will hurt them due to large promised rewards for winning? That's more of a squid game reference than the current version (which is what I think inspired the draft).

"This is thorough disrespect to our citizens!" complains your Minister of Social Rights @@RANDOMNAME@@ as @@HE@@ violently gulps @@HIS@@ cup of sweet tea. "The contestants didn't deserve the cruelty these stupid hosts forced them through! To stop any further events like this, we should punish those who try! Very very VERy hefty fine of very many @@CURRENCY@@s from the government, maybe?"
[effect1]The jackpot of 'The @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Game Show' has had a hefty amount of @@CURRENCY@@ added via government request

Again, the "revolting against the nation's laws" angle creates an issue here: wouldn't hosts already be penalized? I also suggest not going into detail on the nature of the penalty unless it adds something to the issue (which mentioning a fine does not). You could just have the speaker demand steep consequences for running these shows and leave it at that. Though that raises another question: why isn't the speaker demanding these shows be shut down?

[option2]"Now, I agree," utters one of the battered contestants @@RANDOMNNAME@@ got to your room after escaping his hospital, "However, I-.. I f-feel that a fine is too hard-.. harsh. Y-you should probably lessen it to a more si-simple punishment. Oh, a-and.. also..." @@HE@@ fails to finish his sentence as he faints onto the floor.
[effect2]abusive game show hosts are given ten days of community service

I don't feel like this option is distinct enough from the preceding one to warrant its inclusion. Both options have the basic idea of "game shows are bad and the hosts should be punished."

As the medics take @@RANDOMNAME_2@@ out of your office on a stretcher, a side commentator with the nickname 'Big @@ANIMALINITIALS@@' approaches you, known for the controversies he has created in the press. "Well, uh, you see, uh, those contestants are just another three of us. We have @@POPULATION@@ @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ in this area, and losing one would be like losing a Riptide Land game piece. Also, those who consider it as slavery might as well be right! We have an endless supply of citizens, and people should be able to take advantage of it!"
[effect3]it is legal to make people freefall from a 12,000 ft altitude against their will.

I'm not seeing the logical transition from "game shows hurt people" to "game shows are basically slavery." I also don't understand the references or what they add- Riptide Land? Big @@ANIMALINITIALS@@? Contestants are just another three of us? The option in general is difficult to understand.

"What? Slavery?" remarks the Intolerable @@RANDOMNAME@@ while wearing a violet-striped tunic. "The Holy Order of the Violetists must take a stand on this! All punishments for abuse must fall to the supreme decision of our Overlord! All decisions at all must have an influence by us, too. Promise us to always support your nation through our faiths, and we'll guarantee all serious matters are fixed at once, you pilfering swashbuckler scum!" @@HE@@ then proceeds to chant highly strange mantras.
[vailidity]No atheism policy
[effect4]game show hosts who make grammar errors are sent to an isolated glowing cavern to repent.

It feels as though you went straight for writing a complete first issue, jokes and all, without first ironing out what exactly the issue's structure should be. I suggest you write a dry outline- no puns or references- to work out what the problem being addressed is, what each speaker wants, and what the outcome of each option will be. Once you have that, then start adding on meat.

[Random Country 453632]

stuff

Yeah, I think I have to agree with the last part. I'll get the outline set and add in the sentences. For now, this particular draft, ABANDONED