World Cup 89 - Roleplay Thread

[South Newlandia]

Matchday Three.

[Alasdair I Frosticus]

THE GOOFI NEWSLETTER


Hello GOOFI peeps, it's me - Coothulhu, your favourite hieland eldritich coo in training.

Can I just say that I'm, like, massively bummed by that 4-2 loss to Twicetagria last night? I know, I know; we were 2-0 up in the first half, and then... I'm still not entirely sure what happened in that incident between Tengretz Aidor, Ghatanothoa, and Tsathoggua. All I know is that it ended up with Cthulhu insisting that, in the interests of fair play, the referee send off both Ghatanothoa and Tsathoggua. And with nine cosmic entities on the pitch, we never stood a chance. I mean, yes, of course we could have called down the darkness and brought about the end times, but somehow winning a football match doesn't quite seem to justify the final apocalypse, and Cthulhu was quite adamant that the sendings off were justified.

I just wish that I hadn't been distracted by a particularly vocal group of mad cultists on the sidelines at the time, or else I might know just what warranted sending off both Ghatanothoa and Tsathoggua. Must find time to watch the replay later.

Anyway, that leaves us in a bit of a hole. We have to beat Kelssek, and hope Vdara don't beat Twicetagria. Otherwise we're out. Gosh darn it. I mean, I only really joined the Holy Empire squad because I thought GOOFI was about to take off. I thought the whole multiverse was about to join GOOFI, and that everyone would join us in tea and crumpets and cuddles and witty and erudite conversation about the leading issues of the day in order to foster better understanding between Great Old Ones and ordinary mortals. Instead, very few countries have joined us in GOOFI, and this makes me really sad. I so wanted tea and crumpets and cuddles and witty and erudite conversation about the leading issues of the day.

I haven't entirely given up hope. It's super-nice that the Licentian Isles signalled their interest in joining GOOFI overnight, and I'll even forgive them for not putting our kits in their top five - football kits are fairly subjective, after all. But much as I'm happy that they've shown interest in GOOFI, almost no one else has.

What are we doing wrong? Do we scare people? Do they think we smell? Have we driven their loved ones insane? Do they prefer Euclidean geometry? Do they dislike mad cultists (which sort of ignores the fact that we hate our mad cultists too!? Are they unwilling to join a formal friendship group? Do they just have better things to do?

I wish I knew.

What makes me super sad is that Kelssek have joined GOOFI, and we look forward to sharing a tea party with them in the centre circle during our next match. But if we're going to continue in the World Cup, we also have to beat them - and hope that Vdara don't beat Twicetagria. I don't want this. I want to find a way for both the Holy Empire and our GOOFI friends in Kelssek to reach the next round; but unless we warp reality (and I'm not saying that we can warp reality; not for the World Cup, anyway) I just don't see a way of making this happen.

I just want to cry thinking about this.

At the end of the day, maybe this means the mad cultists have won, despite everything we've done to try and keep the mad cultists under control. Maybe we should let them represent the Holy Empire in World Cup 90. I hope not, though.

Let's just see where GOOFI tea and crumpets take us against our GOOFI friends in Kelssek.

It ain't over until the fat Cthulhu sings.

[South Newlandia]

Wolverine and the Elephants are washed

South Newlandia stood no chance at home against an Ethane squad they should’ve been able to beat. 3-0 already after 35 minutes, and a late garbage-time goal by Bentley Levy did nothing to change my opinion of this game. The Elephants got completely burned, pun intended. The old defense was constantly behind Burgess up front, the 5-4-1 midfield had things under control all game, and the attack never got through a strong defense led by Wilburn-Mason. Velázquez didn’t even have to play well. The game-plan of Nathan Walker unfolded brilliantly.
This was the worst loss the Elephants suffered in a while, and it completely exposed Robert Wolverine as a fraud. Nine years are pushing his welcome, his system is out-dated, his team over-aged and mostly washed up. Wolverine refuses to take risks, refuses to take a gamble on young players, and he refuses to learn from his mistakes. Trischuk looked every one of his 34 years old. Wolverine doesn’t have the answers.
Can the Elephants still turn it around? The team travels to New Colk, for a do-or-die must-win game against Squidroidia. Sure, the Inklings aren’t the youngest squad ever, but they have a new innovative coach, Barunian Adam Johnson, who brought them to the World Cup for the first time. Squidroidia has a chance to take their first World Cup trip to the knockout stages, all they need is a draw. Those inklings are hot, they’re ready, and they want to win. Can’t say any of these things about the Elephants.
Where is the South Newlandian youth? Even the reserves list of Wolverine lacks any sort of young players. Rios is the youngest on that list, and he probably personally called Wolverine multiple times to get there. Don’t get me started on the wrong excuse that baseball, the success of South Newlandia there and Llamaphant Pro Baseball are taking more of the athletic players. They do, but soccer is more present in South Newlandia than ever before. They made three World Cup, playing on the biggest stage possible. There’s no reason why Wolverine can’t seem to find any young players.
When South Newlandia travelled to Delaclava for the 72nd Baptism of Fire nearly a decade ago, Wolverine was able to find talented young players that turned into super-stars; Corban Green, Bjorn Cohen, just to name a few. This has to be blamed on Wolverine’s refusal to innovate, on his refusal to take risks.
South Newlandia will suffer another humiliating loss to the Inklings, and Wolverine will have no chance but to resign, failing to bring the Elephants anywhere in three attempts at the biggest stage, including one with home advantage. It remains to be seen whether whoever South Newlandia hires next can turn this team around. Nearly a decade, it’s time for new things. What this team needs are young players, preferably teens, and a new coach who can develop them in an exciting way. They’ll probably go abroad for a new coach, the way I know my South Newlandian sports.
World Cup 90? Not with Wolverine, that’s for sure. A new coach could do it, with the Elephants probably moving or remaining in high pot 2 range. More than likely, we’ll be seen out in the Round of 16 of Cup of Harmony 82. The Elephants have fooled the world into believing they’re a top 25 team. They’re not, and we’ll have to accept the hard truths. We know McCabe will retire, Trischuk will probably follow, other players won’t want to come back.

[Chromatika]

Group D Matchday 2: Chromatika 1-2 Kandorith
Kandorith Goals: Honda '11, Hamada '28
Chromatika Goal: Gainsbourg '82
Starting XI (4-4-1-1): Fillar, J.; Xiao - de Aea - Anbient - Ilya; Humphreys - Armageddon (C) - Zuniga - Kuznetsov; Hauser; Gainsbourg.
Substitutes: Fillar, B. -> Zuniga ('61), Odling -> de Aea ('74), Fillar, E. -> Kuznetsov ('81)

Following the 1-2 defeat against Kandorith, the Chromatik Football Federation announced that they had reached a "mutual understanding" with Tim Landers and Richard Valens to have the upcoming match against Nephara be the last one in their tenure as the head of the Anomalies.

The Krytenian and the Delaclav has been in charge of the Anomalies since the disastrous cycle of World Cup 85, helping the team qualify to three World Cups along with the automatic qualification that came with hosting the tournament in WC 88. The Anomalies have made it to two Round of Sixteens in those four appearances, losing 1-0 to Nephara and Turori - with both those teams eventually becoming Champions.

It isn't that Valens and Landers have underperformed tremendously - but as Chromatika endeavors to continue to try to go up the world rankings, being stuck at the hurdle of the Round of Sixteen and then not even getting to that stage is not acceptable in terms of progress. Chromatika has a Golden Generation of Defensive and Attacking Midfielders alongside Wingers, as well as the family unit that is the Fillars; they need someone who can help the team reach the next level.

Some names that have emerged in the early going: Marcus Waters, formerly of the Banijan National Team; Joseph Moteudi of Indusse; Fabrizio Keel of the Licentian Isles; Aleksandr Ivanovich, the Chromatik who has been killing it in Banija; Lisa Amos, who may be tempted to return, and Sandra Sybill, who before the Harlighet Ligen folded, was one of the best Midfielders.

The CFF has stated the upcoming CAFA will be a testing ground for new players, headed by an interim Manager. The CFF will be taking its time making the decision for WC90.

In the meantime, the players will try to make the last game in Valens and Landers' career count as they go against group leaders Nephara. Though they have nothing to play for, they will hope that the last game played for Valens and Landers leaves nothing to be desired.

[Krytenia]

Davis: "I'm Done"
By Rami Niblick in Newport, South Newlandia

THERE will be at least one changing of the guard for the national team at the end of this World Cup campaign. At a pre-match press conference yesterday, manager Paul Davis confirmed that he will not be in charge of the team beyond their soujourn in South Newlandia.

Davis' current contract expires after World Cup 89, and it is believed contract negotiations had been taking place behind the scenes prior to the team leaving Emberton a few weeks ago. Those talks, however, did not produce a satisfactory outcome for either party.

Speculation among those with their ears to the ground at KFA's headquarters suggest that negotiations on the federation's side were somewhat half-hearted due to the suits actually wanting to bring in Casuals Osteria manager Samuel Dee. Whether or not this is true is sadly only speculative, but what is interesting about this announcement is the timing. Just a few hours before Davis' announcement, it was revealed that Richard Valens is to be relieved of his duties as Chromatika manager; though not confirmed as of yet, it seems likely the former Stanton Town manager will be returning to his homeland. Whether or not this turns out to be true, and whether his erstwhile assistant Tim Landers would join him, remain to be seen.

Before all of that, of course, there is still a game to be played. Krytenia face oldest rivals Turori with a slim hope of qualification for the second round, and potential extension of Davis' tenure. If nothing else, let's hope there's still fight in the team to try. Onward!

[Pemecutan]

CHAPTER 2.1 || CHAPTER 2.2 || CHAPTER 2.3 || CHAPTER 2.4 || CHAPTER 2.5
CHAPTER 2.6 || CHAPTER 2.7 || CHAPTER 2.8 || CHAPTER 2.9 || CHAPTER 2.10 ||
CHAPTER 2.11

---

---

CHAPTER 2.12

Pande breathe heavily as he seat in his office. He is massaging forehead. Relieving the stress a few days before. He believe that the meeting has been a success. All the agenda finished and all the votes needed have been commence. Although he is wondering who would cast a 'no' for the 2 last voting sessions, but he shrug off the thoughts. Now he wants to focus on the next agenda. Gathering all the clubs managers or owners is a hard task citing their busy schedule. He think to have a talk with all 36 clubs in the national league first.

A knock on the door distract him. It is his secretary. And it seems that Arthajaya is there to Pande. Knowing that, Pande give permission to Arthajaya.
"Good afternoon, Mr. Arthajaya. What's the coincidence?" greet Pande politely.
Arthajaya feels anxious in his seat. He build up his confidence to talk to Pande. "I'm sorry if I'm bothering you. I just wants to talk about the league," answer Arthajaya.
"What about it? Is there something going on that I'm not aware of?" ask Pande.
Arthajaya breathe heavily. "I believe this is my fault. I'm the one who make him become like today. I'm so sorry."
"What do you mean? I don't understand. Who is he?" ask Pande in confusion.
"Agung Darma," answer Arthajaya with a low tone.

IT'S NOT THAT EASY

Back in the police office, Detective Wirasa looks so tired he has a bag on his eyes. The PFA fire incident have expanded into something new. And now it is needs cooperation with immigration section.

"Is there a news from Immigration Office yet?" ask Wirasa in a high tone to one of his subordinate.
"Not yet, Sir. They can't find any incoming foreigners who has connection with Teja Paksa," answer the subordinate.
"Pressure them harder. How about our embassy in Tandeg Suci? And cooperation from local police there. Still no news?" ask him again.
"They can't find anything, Sir. The record of Teja Paksa is lost somehow around 2010. The last record is he marriage local resident and change his nationality to Tandeg Suci. But that's it. No trace after that. The police also have check to the registered address but it already change owner," explain the other subordinate.
"There must be some link to them. We can't get into a dead end," murmur Detective Wirasa. "Ask them to search again. Focused on foreigners from Tandeg Suci only. And keep tracing from the last known address. It must be lead somewhere," command him.
"Yes, Sir!" answer the subordinates in harmony.

Detective Wirasa take his seat. He recheck the case files try to find a missing link. He can't believe this case will be this complicated. He checks again the CCTV footage. He try to focus on the picture of the suspect which can be capture. It's not that good but it show the frontal view. Suddenly something snap his mind. He rush outside his office which makes the subordinates confused to where he is gone.

---

Pande froze after Arthajaya revelation. He don't understand about what have happen. He only know one scandal involving Agung Darma. The one that is reveal by Suwitra to him. But he is still unopen the case with the situation nowadays. The fire incident, Teja Paksa, these things are still unresolved.

"What do you mean?" ask Pande carefully.
Arthajaya exhale heavily. "Agung Darma is a diligent person. He has a high dedication to the association. And he help me a lot to shaping up the regional association. But it is my fault. I indoctrinated him. Telling him that Giri is more superior than the other region and Tambangan have to be on top of everything. I think this thoughts that i constantly say to him has change him. He become obsessed. He wants Tambangan to win everything. He use his power to control Suwitra and Kauripan. And I'm pretty sure that the 'no' votes was him," explain Arthajaya.

Pande lean back on his seat. These talks really get him a headache. He take the glass of water on his desk and drink it in half. He try to calm himself. Then he look to Arthajaya who is seating in front of him like a loser.

"Honestly, I already know about the Kauripan scandal."
"You have,?" ask Arthajaya in disbelief. Pande nodded.
"Suwitra have come to me before the fire incident. He explain everything to me and even give me some evidents. I also take a close investigation to back up Suwitra's information," reveal Pande.
"But why are you not taking any action?" ask Arthajaya again.
"Well, that's because the fire incident. I got distracted by it. And Suwitra also Maladi come to me. They are saying about Agung's behavior change. So I don't think revealing these is the best solution for now," answer Pande.
"But I'm afraid everyone is in danger," say Arthajaya in a worrying tone.
"What do you mean?" ask Pande.
"I'm suspecting that he has a connection with the fire incident," reply Arthajaya.
Pande feels surprise with what Arthajaya say to him. His mind wants to deny that. How can Agung do something that would harm many people like that? Pande can't digest this new accusations.

"That's possible," say Detective Wirasa who is already standing at the door which makes both Pande and Arthajaya turn to him. They are all looking at him in questioning and confused look. Behind him, the secretary feels guilty because she can't prevent Detective Wirasa from barging in the private meeting.

[Eura]

WORLD CUP 89 – GROUP D MATCHDAY 2
EURA 0 – 1 NEPHARA
Scorers: None
Lineup: 1. K Belgrave, 2. H Wheeler (sub Malone 69), 4. J Menard, 15. T Green, 5. K Sherwood (sub Coles 45), 3. L Almwood (sub Bowman 72), 6. M Rowland, 8. V Robshaw, 7. M Woakes, 10. I Tomlinson, 14. S Robson

---

emplor.eur/main/worldnews
ANAIAN CAMPAIGN PILES ON THE PRESSURE
Controversial tactics and impact of Nyowani Kitara crisis boosts supporters of E.O.T breakaway

Polls in the Euran Oceania Territories now show an average of 56% support for joining Anaia, as the referendum on the regional future of the Territories enters its final weeks.

The sudden swing towards a change in the status quo in the territory of roughly 44 million people is thought to be linked to a shift in tactics from the pro-Anaia campaign towards an increasingly Euran-nationalist themed campaign. Earlier in the campaign both sides focused on winning over the various international diasporas that form a diverse minority of E.O.T’s population. But after a contentious TV debate saw pro-Anaia campaigner Russell Phillips-Webb denounce the pro-Atlantian Oceania (AO) cause as “anti-Euran”, the shift has switched to winning over a critical mass of the Euran ethnic majority.

Pro-AO campaign figures have bombarded the airwaves in recent days to condemn the approach their opponents have taken. Let’s Go AO! director Amber Ward slammed the change in tack from her adversaries as a “cynical ploy to turn communities against one another”, urging Expats to reject what she called the “hysterical haters…in the pro-Anaia campaign.” But inside sources on the pro-AO campaign suggest there will now be a last ditch effort to ruthlessly target ethnic Euran voters, encouraging them to turnout for a pro-AO vote. Previous attempts to win over the only other major diaspora (original Mertagne citizens) have been a dismal failure.

Meanwhile, tensions between Eura and several AO states over the civil war in Nyowani Kitara have added further fuel to the fire. Pro-Anaian television, radio and social media adverts have increasingly attempted to paint the crisis as a proxy for E.O.T’s referendum. Phillips-Webb is back on the screens for one of them which is titled “Who do they serve?” Against a backdrop of clips showing politicians and media of AO states backing Kitaran rebels – most of these quotes from Banijans – the former Euran MP turned Expat activist “Should the motherland back down to these bullies, or should we send them a message to back off?”

The Euran government was embarrassed this weeks by revelations that a number of key figures in Bastion are less than impressed with alleged AO interference in Rushmori affairs, following leaked criticism of Busukuma’s leadership by junior Foreign Office minister Preston Armitage. “He’s given every idiot with an office an excuse to sound off to anyone who will listen” fumed an anonymous senior member of the Cabinet. Armitage has not resigned or been fired despite his humiliation, a sign that Bastion is paralysed by the government’s decision not to take a side in the referendum.

A further two televised debates will be held before voters visit the ballot box. This means there is still a chance for pro-AO activists to try and snatch momentum back from their opponents in an increasingly hostile contest. In the same polls showing a pro-Anaian lead, 64% of Expat voters agreed that the campaign had become “too hostile”. The pro-AO campaign will therefore have to walk a tricky tightrope in these vital last weeks, matching the fire lit under the pro-Anaia campaign with energetic appeals to voters, without alienating them by being seen to go too far.

[Commonwealth of Baker Park]

Group up for grabs on final day in South Newlandia
Scott McCrae
The Mail on Sunday Chief Soccer Writer

There is no ambiguity in what's at stake when the Commonwealth National Team faces Pemecutin on matchday 3 of the World Cup 89 group stage at the EsportivArena in Newport.

Only a victory will see the Bees through to the knockout stages, while Turori would need only a draw against Krytenia, who have announced they will be parting with their manager at the conclusion of the tournament.

The Melayu newcomers are riding high, having defeated the Eels and drawn with the Dragons, and will now face their second top 10 ranked team here in the Finals; if they hold their nerve and come away with any result they will be able to add Baker Park to their list of famous wins thus far during the cycle, having overcome Banija in qualifying.

The biggest issue in the 1-0 defeat to Turori was the continued struggles of the forward trio featuring Ayana West, Alicia Craig and Daniel Pryor, who have now started in three of the four times BP have been shutout in this tournament; manager Jennifer Prescott brought West and Craig off for Lainey Wadsworth and Reggie Laing in the second half.

Prescott stressed that it will take a championship effort for the side to advance, otherwise they will exit for the first time since the debut in World Cup 80 before the round of 16. The small advantage they hold is the fact that they will avoid having to travel, having been based here in Newport for the Finals.



lineup vs Pemecutin:

Johnston; Hutchins, Rasanamira, Bauer; Grimaldi, Vuckovic, Nolan, Ngoba; D'Amico; Simmons (C), Laing

[Vdara]

Three-Three, Me Not Forsee

Following the nerve-wracking 0-0 draw with The Holy Empire, Vdara were joint-top of the group, with every team being on one point and nobody having scored a goal. Having gone 0-0-3 in World Cup 87, many fans were already delighted to have obtained a point - but most fans wanted more. Most fans wanted an even better performance in their match against Kelssek and, considering their form as of late, it was certainly a possibility. Kelssek appeared to be shaky in defence, with the latter stages of their qualifiers campaign showing up their back line weaknesses (Kelssek 4–3 Malta Comino Gozo, Bongo Johnson 3–2 Kelssek). In the end, Kelssek did qualify, albeit with 36 goals scored and 21 conceded. Vdara had conceded more goals than them (5, to be exact), but their goalscoring record was much better, with Vdara scoring a whopping 16 more goals than Kelssek in the qualifiers. All of this information implied that this match was going to be a thriller, with goals galore.

Dressing Room
EsportivArena

(Pre-Team Talk)
Markos: ”Christ, this stadium feels a bit small for a World Cup game. Modern, but small. Can’t say I feel too welcome in something named after the region we ditched for Anaia, but alas - it’s just something we’ll have to deal with. Big fan of the sheer amount of technology used in this stadium, though!”

(Team Talk)
Markos: ”Lads, I’m sure you’re all still delighted with the result against THE, but all of the defensive tactics we employed against them are going to be thrown straight out of the window today because this is a completely different game. Kelssek are nothing like THE, quite frankly - their players are mostly human, they’re not ranked as the best team in the world, and they’ve got a backline shakier than a bowl of strawberry jelly. Sounds easy enough, right? Well, there’s a wee problem - they’re brilliant in attacking, as well as moving the ball around in midfield. What they lack in defensive acumen, they make up in attacking prowess. These guys know how to score goals, and they know how to score goals well. That boy Maçon-Petrault - make sure he doesn’t get past you, otherwise he’s blasting the ball right into the net. If he does nip past you, you’re gonna have to take one for the team by taking him to the ground, even if it does get you sent off. After all, having 10 men on the pitch and being level is a lot better than having 11 and being a goal down, y’know? Anyhow, enough of me rambling on. Make sure you’re ready, make sure you’re up for it, and make sure we make a hell of an impact! Mon, lads - intae them!”

The match report is as follows:

DUE TO TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES, THE MATCH REPORT IS UNAVAILABLE. IN REPLACEMENT, WE BRING YOU: VAI RADIO PHONE-IN HOUR, WITH FLORENTIOS ELILIS AND PANOS GANAS

(Elilis in red, Ganas in blue, caller in green.)

”Panos, it’s all set up for an exciting second half - Vdara are in front against Kelssek, we’ve got The Holy Empire beating Twicetagria at the Jecken Arena, and we’ve got a goalfest between Brenecia and Squidroidia over at Walstreim Park, what more could you want?”

”Well, when the lead is only one - and that applies to Vdara - then it’s never a conclusive lead, so we’ll see what happens over at the EsportivArena.”

”Anyhow, as the second half begins, we’re going to take our first call tonight - it’s Giannis from Irakleio. Good evening to you, Giannis.”

”Awrite, Florentios? I’ve just been watching the first half of our match against Kelssek, and I’ve got to say that we’ve been pretty good. We don’t look half bad in attack, and although the lead’s only 2-1, we could still definitely hold it up to the end.”

”Giannis, who’s been your-“

”AWWWWWWWW NAW!”

”They’ve scored.”

”AH CANNAE BELIEVE IT, AH CANNAE BELIEVE IT!”

”Well, erm, as you may have heard, Kelssek have grabbed an equaliser early on in this second half. Tell us what you saw, Giannis.”

”AWWWW IT’S UNBELIEVABLE! FRANGOGLOU GETS THE BALL PASSED TO HIM, HE TRIES TO FLICK IT TO XENIADIS AND IT JUST GOES STRAIGHT TO THAT BOY FAE KELSSEK!”

”Now, who do you reckon’s at fault for that goal?”

”Has to be the goalie, Xeniadis wasn’t even ready for the pass.”

”IT WAS ALL XENIADIS’ FAULT, THE ABSOLUTE TOOL THAT HE IS! SHOULD NEVER BE GETTING CALLED UP, NEVER!”

”Completely incorrect.”

”Here you, Panos - who are you to call me wrong? Are you a loyal Vdaran, like I am, eh?”

”I played for Vdara-“

”I know you did, but I don’t care! You’re no very loyal, you’re giving the wrong people credit when they should be getting dropped, the lot of them!”

”W-w-well Giannis, are you happy with the scoreline at 2-2?”

”NAW, OF COURSE AM NAW! ARE YE FUCKI-“

*click*

”That’s the end of that.”

”Emotions running high, possibly a bit too high in that man’s case.”

”Too right. Our next caller tonight is Nestoras from Kampani.”

”Evenin’.”

”Tell me, Nestoras, what did you make of Vdara’s performance up until the second goal from Kelssek?”

”I thought they’d played really well, to be completely honest with you. They’d only conceded the one goal and got two decent ones, and they looked quite safe at the back - but that’s all went tae fu- tae buggery now that Kelssek’ve equalised.”

”Anything else you’d like to share?”

”Aye. I don’t think Markos is the man.”

”Eh?” ”Aw, c’mon.”

”Am being fully serious.”

”Surely not, what’s he got to do to win you over - win the World Cup? The guy’s just taken us to our best World Cup run since 87, and he’s already got us more points than we’ve ever had in the group stage!”

”…disnae mean to say he’s any good, though.”

”How is he not good?”

”Well, for starters, he didn’t qualify for 88, so that’s all out the windae. He also disnae play the style of football I think we should be playing, considering the squad we’ve got.”

”Nestoras, Markos has got us drawing to the best team in world football at the moment, and currently has us tied with one of the best teams in world football - Kelssek.”

”Aye, but he should be beating these teams!”

”He should be beating the best team in the world?”

”Absolutely! We’re on a great run of form, who’s to say we can’t beat THE?”

”So you’re telling us that Markos Moustakakos, the man who’s currently got Vdara performing at the best level they’ve ever been, isn’t good enough because he’s not beating the best teams in world football?”

”Aye.”

”Who would be your ideal replacement, one who could beat these teams?”

”See the guy in charge of Polkopia? I’d have them, easily. They started this tournament as wee guys who nobody thought much of, and they’ve gone and beat the big guys. I want them.”

”Do you even know their name?”

”Naw.”

”Says it all.”

”Right, is there-“

”Oop, my tea’s ready, I better go. Bye!”

*click*

”Odd opinion that, eh?”

”Just goes to show - you can’t win everyone over, even when you’re that good. It’s like those toothpaste adverts with ‘9/10 dentists recommend this brand’ - who’s the 1/10? What’s his issue? Why’s his issue? I never understand it.”

”Well, if you came for toothpaste analogies involving football - you’ve come to the right place, it seems! Now, our next caller is Alexa from Valletta. Good evening, Alexa!”

”I’d like a large gyro with extra sauce, and a bag of chips to go with it.”

”This is a football phone-in, Ale-“

”Oh, and can I get it delivered to-“

*click*

”I’ll just end the call before you out your address to everyone listening here today.”

”She’s made me fancy one of those gyros for dinner now, they’re always fantastic post-fitba food.”

”No offence, Panos, but ever since you’ve retired - any food’s been fantastic post-fitba food.”

”Cannae be dissing my eating habits live on air, and besides - my body is a temple.”

”What kind of temple is filled to the brim with pizza and ouzo every Friday night?”

”MY temple.”

”Hah, doubt it. Anyhow, we’re going to take a short advertising break for the moment - we’ll be back after these messages.”

The match against Kelssek would go on to finish 3-3, with Twicetagria coming from behind to spectacularly defeat The Holy Empire 4-2, leaving them top of the group - with Kelssek and Vdara in joint-second, and THE bottom of the group. Going into the last matchday, Vdara face Twicetagria, in a game that will be a make-or-break match for both nations. Nerves will be running high for both teams, but especially here in Vdara - this team has never qualified for the knockout rounds of anything except the U-18 World Cup, the Cup of Harmony, the CAFA, and the Campionato Esportiva. A good result against Twicetagria would see that change, and a good result is exactly what Markos stated he was aiming for after the Kelssek match:

”Well, I know we’re gonna be the underdogs going into the match, but you’ve got to have faith, no matter how tough it seems. Hence, I’m going to have to aim for a good result against them. If we can capitalise on mistakes and try to keep any accidental concessions to a minimum, then who knows - we could be playing our first bit of knockout-stage football in this tournament. That’s always been my aim as manager, and even if we don’t make it this time, it will certainly be my aim for the next cycles going forward. We’ve got a good team here, and we didn’t come to this tournament just to be here - we’re here to challenge the big boys, to take it to them, and potentially become one of them. We’ve got the potential to do it now, so I’m hoping the boys will grasp this opportunity by the horns and cement their names into Vdaran football folklore. It won’t be easy, but with the constant support of our fans, quite frankly - absolutely anything is possible. It’s the beauty of football. There are no guarantees in football, just as there will be no guarantees for the next match. I, personally, will be telling the lads to make it a night to remember, and I’m hoping that it’ll be that way.”

The closest Vdara has gotten to the knockout stages of the World Cup.
No matter the result, it will certainly be a night to remember, one way or another.

[Turori]

World Cup 88 Final Re-Broadcast (Continued from Part 1) :: The Turorian players were focused. They had scored the goal through when Cuddly Cthulhu and his Playful Pals were fully entranced at the arrival of Nig'el at the Capitalizt Dome and then plotted a new strategy as the match referee held pause to the game when The Holy Empire's GOOFI squad could not re-organize around the center circle. Suddenly, Juan Tzimisces had a new problem. With his team in front 2-1, some of the Playful Pals were asking to be substituted. Not because they were hurt. Not because they were tired. They just wanted to go meet Nig'el. They didn't want to miss their chance. They had been waiting all week to see Nig'el and now Nig'el was here. Tzimisces attempted to focus the players and not waste substitutions but quickly things would unravel further.

...Oh and this could be a moment here! Mungwaii is through now and here comes the shot... GOOoooooooooooooooooaaaaalllllllllll Turororororororororororororiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! The World Cup Final is level and its a second for Mungwaii! The Eels are looking Electric now!...

Shub-Niggurath appeared to be distracted - possibly pleading the case for a substitution to the sidelines as one of the players positioned farthest from Nig'el on the opposite side of the pitch. It was great vision from Lati'ala Giaoka who spotted the gap and Mungwaii the veteran to get into the space to receive the ball, making no mistake once in range. It was two quick goals for the Eels, both delivered by Meldi'ita Mungwaii and it was back to square one with just under an hour to play and nothing separating the two historic sides with the ultimate prize waiting for one of them at the halfway line at the end of the game.

Mungwaii's second goal seemed to snap The Holy Empire back into force and Tzimisces appeared to calm the players on the pitch by indicating that they would send an Elder Thing over at half time to attempt to speak with Nig'el and discuss a meeting for all of the Playful Pals.

For the Turorians, the presence of Nig'el was a motivator but far less distracting as one might have expected, likely due to the fact that they had prepared nearly a full week in the build up to the final for this very scenario: Staying focused and playing the game even among the sometimes chaotic and unpredictable environment of an arena full of Eldritch Horrors. Amorphous Toads, enormous insects, creatures with gigantic tentacles and others with beards of tentacles and claws for hands. The list went on and on. The Turori National team had mentally prepared for it. They had prepared all week to ignore it, embrace it, and play through it. Throw in one more oversized all-powerful Eel into the mix... water under the bridge. Play the game.

For Cuddly Cthulhu and his playful pals, however, the story was different. They had already been disappointed to have not met Nig'el in the build up to the match. While they enjoyed their time with Turori's Cocoabo, the Cocoabo were not one of them. The Cocoabo were Cocoabo. They prepared to play against Turori's National Citizen Squad with no expectation of Nig'els arrival. From the moment Turori's dread and mighty Eel arrived at the World Cup Final, the great old ones were fully off their game. That would change at the half when some of the Pals got up close and personal with Nig'el - sprinting to the end boards when the half time whistle blew instead of retreating to the locker rooms.

Turori head coach Tarek Edgeli would make no changes at the break, pleased with his teams performance over the final 30 minutes of the first half. As play resumed in the second half, Turori continued to have the more confident look about them even though The Holy Empire had the opportunity to reset at the break following the shock arrival of Ni'gel twenty minutes into the match. The talented team of Playful Pals was back on their game however and refused to allow the Eels any additional freebies. Just over ten minutes into the second half, Edgeli began to execute a series of substitutions that would change the match entirely down the stretch.

...It's been a decent enough performance on the night for the youngster Karek Edgeli who becomes the first Turorian player to receive a salute from Nig'el himself upon being substituted in a National Team match. In place of Karek comes Baker Park based midfielder Naraiza Ruaplal as Tarek Edgeli looks to be changing up Turori's tactic slightly in search of the goal that will deliver the World Cup to Turori for the first time...

Over the ten minutes that followed Tarek Edgeli would use all three of Turori's primary substitutions. Veteran defender and fan favorite Mikki Mayelli came off just past the hour mark with the fresh legs of Biliki Rona'atu'i shoring thing up on defense - with Mayelli passing off the Captains armband to Meldi'ita Mungwaii. Five minutes later, Lati'ala Giaoka was replaced by Cuoabaza Orani'aoa. Once the final change was made it was clear that Turori were playing a different tactic and quickly took control of the game. The Eels immediately earned a corner kick and very nearly took the lead with Cuoabaza Orani'aoa heading just inches wide of the post in the 69th minute. Then barely a minute later, the moment Turorian fans had waited generations to experience.

...here comes Orani'aoa on the ball looking to take on Azathoth directl.. but no the ball as flicked back to Toru'u and then quickly looped up over the amorphous blight and there's Aikiki running on with an excellent touch on the b- AIKIKIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!! TURORI HAVE THE LEAD IN THE WORLD CUP FINAL! ...

It took just five minutes for Juan Tzimisces to catch on. First, it was the goal that Turorians will talk about for generations to come. Nua'oma Aikiki of Jungle Strike FC - the mentee of the great Meldi'ita Mungwaii - had scored the goal that would give Turori the lead in the World Cup Final for the very first time in the Nations history. Just under three minutes later it would be Mungwaii themselves writing their own page in the history books by completing a World Cup Final hattrick, sending Nigel's Army into raptures with Nig'el themselves at the center of the celebrations. It was all happening at once and there was no better time to be Turorian.

Of course, there were two major turning points to the game. Under immense pressure at the start and down 0-2, Turori got a massive boost from the arrival of the almighty Nig'el. The first known public appearance of the mystical creature in documented history not only gave the Turorian players a boost while simultaneously throwing The Holy Empire completely off their focus, Nig'el led the chants of their own Army of fans in the second half to urge the Eels to victory. The other major turning point was the tactical prowess of Tarek Edgeli. In their first campaign as Turori National Team head coach, Edgeli had come into the World Cup Final having yet to lose a game in charge and was on the verge of completing an unbeaten debut cycle. For a particular spell in the second half it almost appeared as if Edgeli was holding the opponents playbook and executed perfect tactical adjustments resulting in two quick Turorian goals which appeared to win the match for the Eels.

Up two goals with the final whistle just moments away, Turori's players were ready to celebrate. The fans were ready to celebrate. Then, the moment came.

...any moment now. A Mi-Go on the ball pushing forward to Hastur the Unspeakable. The Holy Empire looking for anything at this point. Hastur is challenged by Pumaziiri and the veteran blast the ball up FIELD AND ITS ALL OVER!!! TURORI HAVE WON THE WORLD CUP! Let the Celebrations Begin! I never thought I'd see the day but HERE WE ARE! Listen to the Crowd!!! ... ... ... ... ... Oh isn't that fantastic! Nig'el has absolutely lit up the stadium with a lime green electric light show as the confetti rains down from the rafters! It couldn't be more perfect! Turori are World Cup Champions! ...

 Turori 4 - 2 The Holy Empire				
	Goals:	:: 20' Meldi'ita Mungwaii:: 33' Meldi'ita Mungwaii:: 70' Nua'oma Aikiki:: 73' Meldi'ita Mungwaii           			
	Team:	Wiyauw An'maude, Mikki Mayelli (Biliki Rona'atu'i 62'), Lulu Pumaziiri, Amakli Inuro'o, Karek Edgeli (Naraiza Ruaplal 58'), Kentu Umaka'a, Kiidallen Aeroluzzi, Daliora Toru'u, Lati'ala Giaoka (Cuoabaza Orani’aoa 67'), Meldi'ita Mungwaii, Nua'oma Aikiki

---

TURORI NATIONAL ✓

@TuroriNat

In the wake of the #Eels shock defeat to Pemecutan, the #WC88 Final re-broadcast has set a new record for full match replay viewership Follow the Story Here...

#WC89 - #NigelCometh - #CupOfElephants

---

Eels Rebound with Clinical Victory over Baker Park

Kinetik Stadium, New Colk, South Newlandia :: One of the few positives to come out of what was one of the Turori National Teams most shocking World Cup Finals defeat of all time was that there were fewer than 16,000 fans in the stands to see the game. The small stadiums in South Newlandia ensured that the majority of the fans watching along would be doing so remotely. So long as the National Team coaching staff could keep the tabloids away and the televisions and communication sets disconnected there was a confidence that they could quickly sweep the fluke result under the rug. Relocation from the lush forests in Ratzupalfu in the center of South Newlandia out to the island of New Colk off the Elephant Coast would help in providing the distractions required for the National Team to move on and stay focused on their next opponents, the Commonwealth of Baker Park.

World Cup 89 :: Group B

The Eels would have to take on Baker Park without their starting goalkeeper as it was Derizi Amatopa's sending off that sparked the White Myna Massacre as the short handed Eels struggled to deal with the best the Melayu Archipelagu had to offer. While Turori's 0-3 defeat on the opening matchday was a major hit in the Eels quest to defend their World Cup Title, it was the first ever meeting between Turori and Pemecutan and the Eels would be quick to put it behind them, particularly given the history they had with the two teams they still had to play in Group B action.

Turori's most recent World Cup Finals match against the Commonwealth of Baker Park came during the opening matchday of the World Cup 86 Finals where the Bees secured a 1-0 victory over Turori. A few of the Eels players were even part of the Vilita and Turori side that were unceremoniously dumped out of the AOCAF 58 knockout rounds in a 2-4 defeat by Baker Park, and would have certainly circled this game on the calendar as an opportunity to get a little revenge for prior stings dealt by the Bees. Of course, considering the situation that the Turori National Team found themselves in after the opening matchday thrashing at the hands of Pemecutan, the importance of enacting revenge over Baker Park was ratcheted up a notch as Turori would need all three points in order to keep any hope alive of advancing through to the Round of 16.

Without Derizi Amatopa available for selection, the Eels would have to turn to their so-called Backup... World Cup 88 winner Wiyauw An'maude. While An'maude was thrust into a difficult situation against Pemecutan facing a penalty kick on their first play of the game and then having to defend with only 9 players in front of them for the remainder of the match, the game at the Kinetik Stadium offered a chance to prove that even at 38 years of age the Cedniavella Turori netminder was still a suitable servant for the Turori National Team.

With their full compliment of players back on the pitch, the Eels were able to execute their System Turori tactic to perfection thwarting the Baker Park attacks before they could full materialize and capitalizing on the few quality goalscoring opportunities they created to put themselves in position to take all three points. The decisive moment of the match came just past the half hour mark when the attacking duo of Turakia Diijelhma and Nua'oma Aikiki combined to provide the games only goal. After being ever present for the Eels in qualifying and leading the team in goals scored, Diijelhma and Aikiki proved the chemistry they had developed in qualifying still appled with Diijelhma slotting through to Aikiki setting the Jungle Strike FC attacker free on goal. Aikiki would make no mistake finding the back of the net and putting Turori in front 1-0.

From there Turori would implement a pressing defensive posture. At the half time break, Head Coach Tarek Edgeli doubled down by taking out the goalscorer Nua'oma Aikiki and introducing the posession minded attacking midfielder Kiidallen Aeroluzzi to help control the midfield and deny Baker Park before they even get into the build up of the action. The remainder of the match would see Edgeli nervously giving direction from the side knowing that just one single mistake could undo the entire campaign for the Eels. Knowing the gravity of the situation, and still motivated by a desire to avenge their defeat during the World Cup 86 Finals, the Turorian players held resolute and maintained their lead through to the final whistle, securing all three points and regaining control of their own destiny in the Group B table.

While Turori still found themselves on the outside looking in and three goals differential behind in the chase for 2nd place in the Group Table, there was the solace of knowing that a victory over their original rivals Krytenia on Matchday 3 would ensure progression through to the Round of 16 regardless of the scoreline or the result of the Pemecutan v. Commonwealth of Baker Park fixture. Of course, it would require a victory of four goals or more against the Cyan Dragons for Turori to even consider taking over the Top Spot in Group B and given the approach from Tarek Edgeli and the National Team coaching staff against Baker Park, it appears unlikely they would unleash the attack should they be able to find even a narrow advantage in their match against Krytenia - particularly when any victory would be enough to advance. Turori will make the trek from one end of South Newlandia to the other for their final Matchday fixture as they head to the Jecken Arena in Newport - the second largest city in the country. After two straight matches playing against a crowd of just 16,000 in Ratzupalfu and New Colk, the Turori National Team will play in front of their largest crowd of the Finals to date on Matchday 3 where 16,250 are expected to the Jecken Arena as another chapter is written in the long rivalry with Turori's former geographical neighbors. While the Eels traversed the country throughout the group stage in search of their next venue, if they do manage to beat Krytenia on matchday three they could be set for an extended stay in Newport as the Group B runner-up is scheduled to contest their Round of 16 fixture at the Jecken Arena as well.

 Turori [1] - [0] Commonwealth of Baker Park
				
	GOALS:	Turori 	:: 36' Nua'oma Aikiki              		
	STATS:	Turori 	:: Possession: 54%:: Shots: 4:: Corners: 5	Commonwealth of Baker Park 	:: Possession: 46%:: Shots: 3:: Corners: 5
	Lineup:	[GK] Wiyauw An'maude, [D.] Moumouni Verre'elali, [D.] Amakli Inuro'o, [D.] Planio’o Nrujsa, [D.]  Biliki Rona'atu'i, [ML]  Daliora Toru'u, [MC] Cuoabaza Orani’aoa, [MC]  Kentu Umaka'a, [MR]  Tulaki Rauogba, [FC] Turakia Diijelhma, [FC] Nua'oma Aikiki			
	Bench:	[FC] Loala Inkabu, [FC] Kala'a Yuliizala, [M] Lati'ala Giaoka, [M] Kiidallen Aeroluzzi, [U ] Lulu Pumaziiri, [D] Karek Edgeli, [GK] Cocoabo #86

[Tikariot]

It is sharpened and it is falling...

[Vdara]

“A Night To Remember”

[Zwangzug]

Zwangzug's e-Lipogram

This World Cup's group round is through; Zwangzug did not qualify for knockout play, following a loss to Valanora by a solitary goal from prolific forward Lothas Ludwig. As Valanora would go through with only a draw, it was cautious and didn't attack much during first-half play. Zwangzug had a small opportunity about half an hour in, with a long buildup from Akhil Sibal culminating in a Jaclyn Burkhart shot, but Burkhart's statistical history-making did not go far, with Vårin Løvland quickly closing down this attack.

Both squads would call upon tactical substitutions at halfway, with Nancy Puyo-Sachar swapping in for Farrokh Sokhi, and Götz Konstantin having an opportunity to play along titan Laborious Hawk. It was this Bastion man who brought about this match's only goal, outplaying an aging Tova Miovuku and crisply passing to Ludwig, who would promptly tap it in.

Valanora will now go on to play Cassadaigua, a match boasting two nations with lots of historic championships. Farfadillis, as group H's champions, play Graintfjall, which isn't far from this host nation of Tikariot. Burning hot and painfully cold traditions, what a dynamic clash! And Paladon Park in Avanaroch will host Audioslavia's Bulls against Tumbra's Black Birds. Sadly, our non-Rushmori half lacks such fascinating showdowns if you ask this journalist, but probably fans from around our world will still follow in anticipation of high-drama World Cup football!

So that's all from us for now; luck providing, our paths will cross soon! Until such an occasion, thanks for following along.

[Mytanija]

Mytanija would be going home from World Cup 89, but they wouldn’t be going home empty-handed. In the final group game they put in what would be described on the back pages of the national dailies as an ‘inspired performance’, with the whole team impressing, barring a brief loss of concentration from Damir Milcic which allowed Tôsgo Alxíkí to tear away and score the opener. Many back home had feared that the game would go the same way as the first two once that goal had gone in, or perhaps be even worse than the other two given the Farfish penchant for attacking football. Lev Repin held his nerve in the way that he hadn’t between the first two games. He didn’t change anything and Mytanija flourished.

Tahir Fejzuli retained his place ahead of Mersudin Smajic and he delivered, laying on an assist for Jezdimir Ocokoljic’s equaliser like he has so many times before. A dart into midfield from Damien Gannot had Gëngüdó Pìgülôçô out of position and Ocokoljic seized upon the space left behind, Fejzuli threaded the ball between Nørgaard and Çí Xôrí and neither full-back could get back on terms with Ocokoljic. The Energija Chernovets forward didn’t need a second invitation to lash the ball low past Dieje Ibrelaná. Mytanija had scored their first goal at a World Cup in over twenty editions of the tournament, both the supporters in the stadium and 40 million people back home went into party mode.

That feeling would only double when Bigger Mbala-Ekakia – responsible for dallying on the ball too long against Valanora and conceding the free-kick from which the elves would win the match – put the Hoops in front. Tahir Fejzuli trotted out to the corner flag to whip the ball in around five minutes from the end of the first-half and when Jasno Odonelec glanced it across goal it was begging for somebody to get something, anything on the ball to turn it into the net. Mbala-Ekakia was the man on hand to do so, flinging himself towards the ball and getting it across the line with some combination of his chest and shoulder. Protests from the Farfadillis players – they believed the youngster had used his arm to put the ball in the net – fell on deaf ears and Mytanija would go in at half-time ahead.

Lev Repin didn’t change much directly after half-time, but Farfadillis used their quality to get on-top and Mytanija had to weather the storm for a good fifteen minutes. After the hour mark this subsided and the Hoops were able to regain a foothold in the game, knocking the ball about confidently and involving the likes of Ocokoljic, Jasno Odonelec and the excellent Fejzuli more often. It would be the third of that trio who would put the final nail in the coffin for Farfadillis. Fejzuli’s club colleague Ígnîgo Çí Xôrí chopped down Damien Gannot around 25 yards from the Farf goal and Fejzuli instantly stepped up to take the ball, he would be the one to take the resulting free-kick. What followed was vintage Fejzuli.

He stepped up and curled the ball up and over the wall and beyond Ibrelaná into the Farfadillis net. All of a sudden the score was 3-1 to Mytanija. Lev Repin embraced his coaching staff on the sideline. The players had taken his pre-match words on board. They were not going to go down quietly and take nothing from the World Cup back to Mytanija. They would take three points, it might not be much, but it was something and it had come against one of the best teams in the sport too. Lev Repin hoped that it was a signal. Mytanija were back.

[Cassadaigua]

Fillies advance, Valanora next,
By Chelsea Dufresne, Concord Heights Times

A couple of “old timers” will face off in the round of 16 as Cassadaigua will meet up against Valanora in Rhovannyr thanks to defeating Polkopia by the score of 3-2. The win game Cassadaigua the Group G title, and with the Marauders finishing second on a tiebreaker to Farfadillis in Group H, we will see that matchup between two nations who want to win a Cup for the current generations, instead of reading about them in the history books.

The stage was set for a thrilling game at the Mountain Fortress between our eighth ranked Fillies and the upstart team from Polkopia. It could bring back some memories to when Cassadaigua played Recuecn in the round of 16, in the year the Recuecn qualified for the World Cup as an unranked. Eventually their great run had to end, and it would be Cassadaigua dealing the final blow to the upstarts. Here we were again, and while it was just a matchday three game, a Polkopia win would have meant that they’d advance over us in the light of a result that we now know with Graintfjall topping Starblaydia. Cassadaigua and Polkopia would have tied for second, so obviously they would have had the tiebreaker with the win. The Fillies had to win or draw to secure themselves at least one game. Would the upstart get one over us this time, or would we, once again, be the team that sounds Cinderella’s midnight bells?

The game began with each team playing conservatively. Brittany Byers’ team wanted to make sure that they got a good feel for what Polkopia wanted to do, and that was in contrast to the way that Stephanie Sweeney had managed the game against Recuecn. In that one, the team wanted to jump on the underdog early, using the logic that the best way to play a team like that is to get it out of their heads as quickly as possible so that they could have a chance to beat you, which could happen if you grabbed the early lead. However, while that was the strategy, the result did not pan out since it ended up being just a 1-0 result. Not sure if that had anything to do with the game plan here, and probably not, though it did take Cassadaigua a little while to get going.

Both goalkeepers, Danielle Cotter and Vladimir Hužyak, made the initial stops that they needed to make, but in the 28th minute the first goal would be scored, and it would be the veteran playmakers, Meghan Wolcott and Rachel Schanke doing well to exploit a weakness that Hužyak is said to have, coming out too far and being subject to “chips and jukes”. Well that’s exactly what our two 33-year olds executed, with Schanke showing her ball control skills at the very end to get the goal. It was a lead that would only last nine minutes with Yakoby Kosyo grabbing the equalizer with a header, outleaping Summer Speers on the play, which is where we would be at half time.

In the second half, it seemed as though Cassadaigua would try to push the issue to get the go ahead goal, and that would work against them. Yuri Smyefinov out muscled Courtney Graham for possession and quickly that the ball out to his forwards, and the Fillies were caught here on this counter attack. Katie Standish tried to come back on Kosyo, but the forward had a step on her. He was smart though, and saw that Maksim Pasin would be in a great position for an unchallenged shot from outside the box, like he is known to do, and Pasin showed this to all the fans watching, making it 2-1 Polkopia in the 55th minute. Team Cassadaigua would not get too discouraged by that, showing the veteran nature of the team, not going into panic mode to try and get the equalizer. Steadily, they began to get the momentum back, and in the 69th minute, the upset minded Snovski found themselves in a tie game situation again with Morgan Rosenblatt firing home the rebound of a Rachel Schanke shot that Hužyak initially stopped.

With the score deadlocked at two, both teams had some good chances in the final moments. It was Polkopia that needed the goal more, since we would be just fine with a draw, but you can never sit back on that fact. Brittany Byers substituted in defensive minded midfielder Danielle Porter in place of similar style player Courtney Graham, as well as entering in Madison McClain for Preston Newfeld. With that move, Cassadaigua shifted more to a 4-3-3 style, which was an interesting strategy call against the 4-5-1 employed by Polkopia. It would make sense, though, considering that the Snovski would need to start being more aggressive with their own midfielders. In the 85th minute, when Porter was in perfect position to intercept a pass, the Fillies had the advantage on the counter attack. McClain did most of the ball handling, but would get the ball to Jenna Frontiera, who did not miss from near the penalty area. That goal made it 3-2, and with such little time left, and with the position Cassadaigua was in needing a draw at minimum, only an epic collapse would keep them from advancement. There would be no such thing, with Cassadaigua holding on strong to get the win.

It is a result that sends the pink and black to a spot that they expect to be. Fillies fans applauding in the stands that they got the job done while the fans of Polkopia equally applauded the amazing effort of their team. Here they were, starting this as an unranked side and accomplishing something very rare in qualifying for the World Cup. Had they won this game, they'd have been in the Round of 16. They’ll be back, and we wish them the best. But for now, it’s Cassadaigua moving forward, moving forward to play a team with a deep history in Valanora, though like us, a nation that wants to see a Cup won more recently than 35+ Cups ago.

[Commonwealth of Baker Park]

© Sporting Times Daily 2021
Loss marks end of the "BP Eighties" Era
by Mindy Cartwright, National Soccer Editor

The final whistle of the 2-1 Pemecutin victory over Baker Park on matchday 3 of World Cup 89's Group B signaled the end of the Commonwealth National Team's tenth appearance in the Finals and possibly the final chapter of the Golden Generation's storied history.

Manager Jennifer Prescott had a wry smile just prior to offering congratulations the Pemecutin staff, but had nothing but praise for the debutants afterwards.

"Well done to Pemecutin, as they have defeated two of the highest ranked sides in the multiverse here in the Finals. We've played on the edge of elimination since midway through quali, and today it finally caught up to us. We're still excited and optimistic about the core of our player pool, we'll pick up with the next Jenna Raven Cup and the AOCAF."

For Nicki Stone, who will end her international career with 116 caps, third most in Baker Park history along with the record for most appearances as a substitute (35), it was a bittersweet moment.
"It's been an honor to have been Captain of my National Team, and to have been a part of this squad. The next wave of great players for the Commonwealth are already here, and I know that they will carry on the spirit and culture of excellence that has been firmly established during these World Cup cycles that the team have participated in,"

[Tumbra]

Tumbra 0 - 1 Pasarga

TMB (4-3-3): 12 - Louis Addison; 2 - Ryan Hughes, 4 - Ian Ashburn, 5 - Harry Henderson, 19 - Russell White (3 - Chris Carter, 62'); 6 - Vincent Hicks, 8 - Craig McGrath, 16 - Leo Hooper (10 - Phil Cole, 74'); 17 - Neil Fraser (7 - George Hilton, 85'), 9 - Robin Vaughn; 11 - Nick Riordan

TMB scorers: Nil

Player of the Match: Elek Salai (PAS)

Link to arc home
defender meets midfielder: season 4, part 5
epistolary

Nigel (Omnio)
Online now

---

Nigel?
Hey, stephen. sup
uhhh
This may be a lil weird for me to ask off the bat but
Yeah? go ahead, man, no worries
Are you in a relationship rn?
I don’t swing that way lol, but thanks for asking
…
Nah, only joking. yeah, i’m in a relationship, have been for two or so years
So you’ve been in love before?
Considerably more times than i’ve been in relationships yeah
What...what was it like? Your first time?
Oh, stephen, it’s different for everybody. every time. it’s unique to yourself!
sure, but like…
There have to be some common things you experience, right
Like, idk
Alright alright. i’m assuming that this is your first time that you’ve felt these things you’re feeling and you’re messaging me because you’re not sure whether these feelings are love or not
also bc you asked me what my first time was like. really only seeing that now.
Ok, first i want you to know that these feelings are normal. there’s nothing wrong with you. aight
...ok?
Genuinely i’m saying this bc. the first time i fell in love i didn’t know what it felt like either. like. the first few times i said i fell in ‘love’ it was during like, high school. but this kind love feels different from true love, y’know? it mainly comes from spending time together. like, so much time together, really. don’t make that mistake. ofc im not saying that can’t be love but like
uhhh nigel i think you’re going off-topic
Right. okay.
First question
Do you like being around this person
yes
but like i can like being around them and still see them as friends
Shhhhh
Don’t interrupt
Second question
When you look at this person do you feel...nervous
yes
Ok. ok. third question. when you’re around this person. do you feel like your day has improved. like for example if you’re having a bad day and this person just shows up
it doesn’t matter how, like just a text message like rn
do you feel better
yes
Aight! last question. this is gonna be an open-ended one so i need a good response
What happened recently that made you ask me this question?
well. uh. we’ve been friends for a while now. so like a few days ago? we were at this cff thing teaching kids how to play football, you see, and during one of the breaks i decided to go have a chat with her. but i suddenly got like. nervous. like, idk why i suddenly felt that, like i’d never felt that way before
anyway, i grabbed two drinks to have a convo with her. which was also super weird. bc as i said we’ve been friends for quite a while. and like i suddenly froze when passing the drink to her...and she like...idk...i’m cringing just thinking about it
i was so dumb nigel
Ok. that’s all i need to know.
You ready to hear the results of my super in-depth and entirely scientific questioning
...sure
you sure?
Yes please
Congratulations! You Are In Love!
or at least in the beginning stages of it idk i’m not a psychiatrist
no way
no
no
Feel free to doubt my results, tbh, but i’m speaking from experience here
fuck
Stephen, Trudy’s a wonderful person, and I wouldn’t be half surprised if she’s feeling the same way as you are, right now.
why would she lol
wait
how the fuck
...i’m a footballer, but i’m not stupid, Stephen. when you asked me the question i was already half suspecting who the person was. your story just confirmed it lol. it really can’t be anyone else. unless you’re telling me you somehow picked up a chromatik girl…
fucking hell
Falling in love, Stephen, is normal. It’s part of growing up.
yeah but like we’re friends. i don’t want to ruin that by falling in love with her. what if she says no lol
how do i recover from that
it’ll be so fucking awkward
lol might as well transfer me to urheddiao at that point
Ok. Listen to me, Stephen Kerr, and yes, I’m using proper punctuation because this is a Very Important Point I want to make
Most relationships begin as good friendships. Aight. I’m not saying that all good friendships should become relationships, because they really shouldn’t. There’s also no reason why you fessing up will end your friendship, alright?
...ok
What I recommend you do now is that you...take some time. Feel it out — is it really love or is this just infatuation? You’ve just moved to a new country, you’re alone for the most part, you’re lonely, sometimes. It’s not surprising that you’d feel this way towards someone who you’re spending a lot of time with. Because you know them.
Give it a bit of time. If you’re still conflicted, feeling like this, in a bit of time
And I can’t say for sure how long, because love’s this stupid thing that nobody really has gotten their heads around
But trust me, you’ll know. One day, it’ll all clear up, and you’ll realise whether this person is who you’re truly in love with. And then all the feelings — the nervousness. anxiety. all of that, Stephen, it’ll melt away. And if you’re really in love, that’s what you’ll feel. Clarity. That’s what you’ll feel.
And that’s the most important bit.
thanks, nigel.
Anytime. Come back to me if you’re still facing problems. I’m not...qualified...to speak on this in any sense of the term, but if I can help you in any way, then I’ll try my best.

leysa
Online now

---

Trudy?
Leys
How did you — what — I hadn’t even said anything
Oh, I saw you were typing. What’s up?
I, uh, wanted to talk about...love.
Ooh. Are you in love?
No...I don’t think.
Is someone in love with you?
See, that’s the part I’m confused about
Hm. I think I know who this might be
...is it that obvious?
Yes. Yes, it is. What’re you confused about? You can tell me everything.
So
If someone likes you is it normal for them to like
Act weirdly around you or something
...what happened with Stephen?
The other day we were at the CFF thing in Dre’a, yknow, regular stuff. We had a break, he came over with some drinks then...froze. Like, completely lost. He seemed ok afterwards, so I’m not sure if it was an anxiety attack or what not. But he...didn’t want to seem to look me in the eyes. I’m not sure if something’s wrong with him or…
Or?
...or if he likes me.
Hm.
what’s that supposed to mean, leys…
Where do I begin?
You’re married, aren’t you? What was it like for you?
Yeah. Three years ago.
How’d you two meet?
You know how Chromatik’s owned by Henza Architecture? We met at a function, about five years ago. I was 23, he was 25...instantly smitten. He was an architect. Still is, actually, heh.
But we started going out soon after. It was a tad difficult, with our careers and all, but we managed to make it stick.
How did he act around you?
Nothing out of the ordinary, really! I guess he was a bit shy at first, but he’s that kind of person. There was always going to be the awkwardness when we first met, but...I think we got over that fairly fine.
It’s...a bit different from your story, I guess
wait
what story
no, Leysa, I don’t
As in, the way you two met.
Unless?
No!
I figured. Anyways, back to Stephen. Was this the first time he was acting in this way?
I...guess? Nothing out of the ordinary before this...I’m not entirely sure this was an anxiety attack
But he can’t have gotten feelings for me out of nowhere, could he?
Sometimes, Trudy, feelings can spring out of nowhere, and in the most unexpected of places. Of course, you’re under no obligation — and I want to stress that there is none, whatsoever — to oblige, reciprocate or give anything back to him, if he does like you. If you want my personal opinion
yes please
You two have gone through a lot together, haven’t you? It’s amazing to think he literally stumbled into your life in a cafe. Won the Under 18 World Cup. A Di Bradini Cup. Been to the World Cup together, went across Chromatika together. Campaigned for equality, made it work, helped him through possibly the hardest part of his life together so far, and now you two are team-mates. I’m not saying that this is a guaranteed catalyst for feelings of any sort, but from what you’ve told me so far about Stephen I doubt he’s ever been in a proper romantic relationship.
So…?
Most people tend to, well, enter their first romantic relationships at your age. And, well, you two have gone through a lot together. This is the exact sort of thing that, well, would give rise to feelings.
so you think he likes me?
I think there’s a chance. A good chance. I cannot be certain, because I’ve never met him. If anything happens, be it good or bad, let me know.
you literally live in wirr tsi now
Well...I’ll always be here for you. Unless you’re wearing grey and I’m wearing yellow and blue.
thanks leysa
you’re truly a lifesaver

Stephanie
Online now

---

steph
wait
why are you awake now
i'm in university. shit tends to keep you awake till the wee hours of the night
get some sleep please
eh, i’m used to it. serrapince has a pretty good late night food scene. and i specifically avoid morning lectures/classes
but what’s up?
you’re dating someone, right?
yeah. mom and dad don’t know, though.
who’s he?
she, actually. helle. i met her a while back. a transfer student from ao. aboveland, actually.
huh, cool.
yeah we both hit it off pretty well, and, well...stuff happened. six months and counting.
wow
don’t tell mom or dad.
not yet, at least
course not.
you scared?
yeah. not sure how they’ll react. and i do want to come out to mom and dad...one day.
your secret’s safe, dw
wait
you’re asking me this bc
bitch YOU GOT A GIRLFRIEND
no
nothing like that
OH
YOU’RE IN LOVE
MY OLDER BROTHER
I NEVER THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD COME
noooooo
well
WHO IS IT
IS IT THAT MIDFIELDER GIRL YOU WENT ON HOLIDAY WITH
fucking
OH MY GOD
IT IS
WOW
...
okay okay i’ll stop
but seriously i’m super happy for you like
you’ve literally never had these feelings for anyone before and you’re finally having them! you’re finally growing up!
what the fuck
i don’t even know whether they’re like...feelings of love or something
ok
ok
ask yourself
i’ve had this convo with someone else steph
and what did they say
...that i probably was
HAH
I KNEW IT
wait then why are you messaging me
i’m probably going to tell you the same things and you’re probably, from the way you’re texting, not going to like them
well, you’re more experienced in these things than i am
by a lot
yes, by a lot
so i want to know like
where did you go once you...you know, once you realised these feelings were real
not saying that mine are ofc but like
in case
ok i’m going to operate on the assumption that they are. because you texting me already tells me you’re somewhat on the way to accepting that these feelings are at least somewhat true. what i did when i first realised i liked helle was not to get overwhelmed. okay? if you’re overwhelmed, you’re more likely to act weird. and that’s not good especially if you’re trying to get them to like you back. or even have any kind of platonic relationship if the feelings go away after a while. you two are team-mates. that much i know. so this is important you get me
might have already failed at that
it’s ok.
…
i’m assuming you didn’t do anything too stupid
i think not
ok i’ll take your word for it.
if you’ve already been overwhelmed, then you’ve got to get back on track. try, at least, to act normal, but try and see if they’re receptive to little gestures of love. get them over, cook for them, teach her how to cook
been there done that
dang
is my football-obsessed older brother secretly casanova in disguise? god damn and i thought the cafe dates were killing it
fuck you
anyway
uhhhhh idk what you footballers do. but like. small gestures. if you haven’t scared them off. have heart-to-hearts, proper ones, go out with them, but don’t be clingy.
yknow and after a while you’ll realise whether you’re actually in love with them or not
yeah my friend said it was like a moment of clarity
they’re right.
it is a moment of clarity. take time. the thing won’t come immediately.
oh my god my older brother has feelings for someone eeeeeeeee i’m so excited
don’t worry. i won’t tell mom or dad either.
will you please get some sleep
excuse me
firstly, you chose to begin this conversation
and secondly. not sure if i’ll be able to get any after this ABSOLUTE BOMBSHELL you dropped on me
i hate you
love you too <3
but fr
thanks for the advice
any time. i’m so excited. so so excited for you
i don’t even know if the feelings are like real yet
i hope they are
i...don’t know…
don’t worry. i think your friendship’s strong enough to survive this even if she says no. trust me. you two have been through so much shit together...ofc it needs you to not make it weird.
i’ll try
she’s really pretty btw
i-
HAHAHAHAHAHA the time you took to respond
but yes she’s really pretty
i’m gonna try go sleep now
gn
gn

lynne
Online now

---

lynne
are you awake
yeap
what’s up
eh. life’s so-so. few complications here and there
i doubt you texted me to just chat, though?
eh…
oh. something’s up, eh? you can tell me
have you ever had anyone crush on you before
yeah, sure, multiple times
how did you react to it
well
a bit of enjoyment, a bit of laughter, really. i just didn't take it too seriously, just a bit of fun.
i didn’t know them that well. neither did they know me. doubt if they knew me they’d have much of a crush lol
ok
let’s say that someone i’ve known for a while has a crush on me
mhm
are you feeling weird about it or anything
no
then it’s fine
how close are you with this person
idk...quite?
do they play football
yes?
it’s ok trudy you can say stephen kerr
FUCK
HOW IS IT THAT EVERYONE I’VE TALKED TO HAS DISCERNED HIS IDENTITY WITHIN TWO SENTENCES
babe
it’s not that hard
there’s literally one person that fits the bill darling and its him
so you’re saying he’s got a crush on you
i think so
okay, and?
it’s weird
you said like ten messages ago it wasn’t!
no as in
it doesn’t feel weird
the fact that he might have a crush on me does
really?
bc i never thought of him as someone that would be able to have these kinds of feelings
not least for someone like me
ding, dong, there you go again, trudy
what
you’re not treating people like people again
and there’s a combo with your self-deprecation
stephen is perfectly able of feeling these things because he is, spoiler alert! another human being.
and the self-deprecation lmao pLS trudy you’re worthy of receiving these kinds of feelings if they do exist
but ok
do you want them to exist?
idk. kinda? it’s like
idek if they even exist bc this just came up a few days ago
okay.
you sound...very confused
i am
okay good. not many people like to admit this. it’s a good start! try to distill what you’re feeling towards him right now. do you see him as only a friend?
i guess? i’ve never really thought about this too much tbh. but idk what i feel about him
never really entertained the prospect that i’d be together with someone
really…?
i guess i've thought about it sometimes.
with stephen?
nobody in particular.
but
he’s actually the first person i could actually see myself with.

AUDIOSLAVIA vs TUMBRA - WORLD CUP 89, SECOND ROUND

Starters: 1 - John Lennon; 2 - Ryan Hughes, 4 - Ian Ashburn, 5 - Harry Henderson, 19 - Russell White; 6 - Vincent Hicks, 23 - Trudy Harrison, 10 - Phil Cole; 7 - George Hilton, 9 - Robin Vaughn; 22 - Nigel Erskine

Bench: 12 - Louis Addison, 13 - Nick Barker; 18 - Jacob Keene, 14 - Louis Paterson, 20 - Stephen Kerr, 3 - Chris Carter; 8 - Vincent Hicks, 15 - Alan Morgan, 16 - Leo Hooper; 17 - Neil Fraser, 21 - Lynne Crossley; 11 - Nick Riordan

[Nephara]

Nephara 0 - 0 Chromatika
(4-2-3-1) 1 - Provost; 17 - Soeringer, 5 - Clevinger, 22 - Bruhn, 3 - Lind (18 - Islinger 67'); 4 - Timekeeper (15 - Belltower 76'), 16 - Brand; 13 - Reed, 14 - Fletcher, 11 - Considine (19 - Belgrade 61'); 9 - Gjasula

GUGOLA OUTSKIRTS, NYK
STAGING POINT - TASKFORCE 'MEGAERA'

The car chugged agreeably down the road from Karora, driven by a clean-skinned, broad-shouldered man. A couple hours ago, he'd been Eiður Rúnarsson, a man who almost immediately had been pigeon-holed into 'brash, testosterone-poisoned nationalist' by everyone he'd met, a useful idiot with a thick accent. Rúnarsson's absence wouldn't be noted. People would assume he'd gone off into the hills to fight KRF and died, but he could still crop up again without really being questioned. But the papers he showed the KRF guards on the checkpoint leading into Gugola's outskirts showed him to be Garrett Vidmar, NSIA operative, Not To Be Fucked With.
He hopped out of the car and hustled through the camp, glancing around at what he saw. A lot of KRF in patchwork uniforms and kits, and a fair handful of Nepharim, immediately recognisable by their slate-grey uniforms, pixellated geometric patterns of camouflage, extensive neck tattoos and general air of arrogance. He passed by the rattle of gunfire from a string of KRF men with a patchwork motley of assault rifles, followed by the tutting of a burly Nepharan sergeant. "No, no, no! Fuck me dead, what a shower! The idea isn't to spray lead downrange, you'll hit nothing but hedges and birds and be left with an empty mag and nothing to show for it. Control above all, lads. Corporal Bouzan here will demonstrate! Brace against cover! Eyes to the sights..."
Watching it all from a respectful distance was Brigadier Belshaw, a compact, efficient woman with her hands behind her back. Belshaw was the kind of officer the Nepharan military did its best to claim did not exist. Unlike most of her peers, she did not see action in the Endemian war. She'd had instead to climb her way to the top the other way; relentless ambition and reliable competence. She had a good head for the big picture, and regarded emotion as a liability. Her posting here pushed her significantly past the notional command for her rank, but her promotion was seen as a matter of time.
Taskforce Megaera was a natural brief for her. It was not an environment that encouraged engagements. All she had to do was play the long, strategic game, try and halt the blood-letting, and let the DFLK tear itself apart trying to hold Karora against the city's will. Yet she was similarly undiplomatic. One KRF officer had asked her the prospects of seizing Karora directly, to which Belshaw had replied, "You're welcome to march on ahead if you'd like."
Vidmar found his way to her side.
"What did you find?"
"Little good news. The DFLK aren't exactly a crack fighting force, but you can tell it's where most of the officers gravitated to. An air of actual competence there, holding together their partisans."
"Competence! Christ. We backed the wrong horse."
"Not much opinion of the locals?"
"Only thing the KRF have going for them is numbers." Belshaw scanned the horizon. "I mean, look at them."
Vidmar looked at her askance. "Can't say I care much for your attitude."
"Can't say I care much for whether or not you care for my--"
"I'm just saying that an officer of what is, these days, a wealthy developed nation coming in to talk shit about the ill-trained militia of an impoverished hellhole... it's not the best look."
"Christ." Belshaw looked at him, amused. "Where'd this streak come from?"
"Yeah, well, I've been pretending to be a knuckle-dragging Neanderthal for the past fortnight, I've a lot of pent-up social justice to get off my chest."
Belshaw snorted. "True. Alright. But give me some credit. They aren't inherently poor soldiers, I know that. I hope we'll train them into something - I think I do, anyway - but as things stand they'll fold in a serious fight. And the worst part is, we can't be everywhere at once. What happens if the rebs strike the northwest coast, eh?"
"That's... I can't say what will happen."
"Well I hope to God they don't. We were sold the KPWC as the winning side in this war, but they were collapsing. They would have melted away." Belshaw sighed. "And now we've stopped that. Is that actually a good thing, I wonder?"
They stood and watched as a section of KRF men lacerated some targets. Firing through their iron-sights, in short, controlled bursts, to the approval of the Nepharan sergeant.
The brigadier clicked her tongue. "Just don't know how I feel teaching these men to shoot at unarmed targets. Some of them have practice already. And all I'm saying is I would build a bridge of their corpses to Port Viljan if it's what it took to end this without civilian bloodshed."
Vidmar sighed, and looked out into the horizon. "Well, let's hope it doesn't come to that..."

---

SOUTHERN REGIONAL NYK
RENDEZVOUS - TASKFORCE 'TISIPHONE'

"And the men taken from Alecto have arrived. The 2nd Cohort of the Serpentine, under Lt. Colonel Klein--"
"Good. We'll need those hardened men."
"-- along with a few battalions of KRF men. They've been training with our lads from the start, and should be somewhat ready for serious action. Unfortunately a handful were killed in an engagement en route..."
Lieutenant General Petrarch Waters rubbed his angular jaw. "I heard the report. What a shitshow. But none of ours went down?"
"No, sir. Thirteen KRF casualties, mostly in a truck hitting an IED en route."
"Small mercies."
"Skirmishers made contact but were driven off in short order. The KRF reportedly conducted themselves well, not letting the initial panic get to them."
"You'd hope not." Waters put his hands on his hips and contemplated. He was an unremarkable but strong-looking man, remarkable mostly for the mellifluous qualities of his voice. Under better circumstances, he'd have made a fine baritone singer. As things were, he was a persuasive commander. "I want to see Klein. Want to make sure we're all on the same page here."
"As you wish, sir."
Klein was duly produced, a lazy-eyed woman in her mid-40s who always seemed to have a quietly amused smile. A certain type of person would always dislike and distrust a smile like that, and Waters was among them. "You wanted to see me, sir?"
"Sit."
She sat.
"So." Waters declined to sit himself, stalking behind his own desk. "Fresh out from Alecto? What were your impressions?"
"Elaborate, sir?"
"What do you think of the campaign Larchwood's conducting?"
Klein blinked. "I'd say she's done well, sir."
"Really. And how many men lie dead because of her refusal to fortify Sohma?"
"Fewer." Klein berated herself for her tendency towards pain-in-the-arse answers. "I take your meaning. A couple more caskets going home, likely."
"A couple? As I understand it, it took a KRF countercharge to stop the line from buckling in!"
"Yet the countercharge came. Don't underestimate the KRF, sir. At least, not the ones who've been shadowing us, learning how to prosecute a war properly."
Waters gave Klein a long look. At last, he said, "I'm not sure you grasp our mission here. We're here to preserve Nepharan lives--"
"If we wanted that above all, we'd have stayed home. We're here to win, sir."
"Precisely my point. Win, not make friends."
Klein clicked her tongue. "Larchwood's a soft touch? She split a man's hand open with her sabre, sir."
Waters shrugged. "Theatrics. That's all."
"Permission to speak freely?"
"You ask now?" Waters snorted. "But go ahead."
"You fought in Endemia?"
"Yes. With distinction."
"Yeah, with the 3/5 Heavy Infantry. They're here now, right? Your pet cohort." Klein smirked. "Well, understandable. They acquitted themselves well, of course."
"What are you driving at?"
"They also left." Klein's smile got her into trouble again, yet it did not reach her eyes. "Sir, I'm not here to shit over other companies, I don't need to swing the Snakebite cock around. But we had to hold the place. And, sir, it was fucked. Sameba we bombed to shit, and it was the quickest way to bring it all to a half, but there was nobody left to pick up the pieces. But after the dust settled, we still found, and worked with, friends. Ones we wouldn't exactly like to bring home, sure, but friends under the circumsstances. We got them to trust us, and we got them to do the heavy lifting for themselves, and the idea was, with us as backup, we'd slowly fade and fade and fade into the distance... 'til one day we're gone, and they don't even notice. That's the theory, anyway. So here, sir, I see us as having a choice. We can ignore the KRF and bomb Inhalo and Karora to shit, everyone will hate us, we leave it all to the KRF to pick up two burning towns and the whole thing kicks off again in another year. Or. We work with what we've got. Even if what we've got is a glorified militia commanded by corrupt warlords. Even if it means abandoning positions, trying to keep the fighting out of civilian areas... you have to remember the urban fighting in Sameba, sir, you have to remember it was a nightmare."
The words hung in the air. Waters tapped his hip compulsively. An analog clock on the wall went on tic-tic-ticking.
"But I am just a lowly Lieutenant Colonel," said Klein.
"Yeah." Waters clicked his tongue. "Maybe not for long."
"So you'll listen, sir, to what I have to say?"
"We'll see. You're dismissed."

---

DEWAYO, NYK
KRF LOGISTICS HUB

General Morgan Leander may have cut their teeth being tortured in a pit somewhere in Sameba, but they needed to unwind like anyone else. Trouble was, they reflected looking at the screen of the bar, this match was beyond unwinding. It was relaxing their muscles better than a massage. Match was bloody soporific.
Then again, what more could be expected? Dead rubber game against a lame duck manager. A point was enough for Nephara, except that technically defeat could end up advantageous, with the Holy Empire looming in their miserable death-trap of a draw... but you had to beat the best to be the best, and the Cormorants always had their eye on the prize anyway.
Pernille Brand forced a straightforward save from Fillar. They sipped their drink.
A compact, evergreen woman sat next to them. "General," she said agreeably.
"Lindbeck." They sipped again. "Or whatever the hell your rank is meant to be. Never know with you NSIA freaks."
"Monika will do."
"Sure."
"Still scoreless after an hour?"
"Surprised you don't have Ramsey's substitutes all mapped out." Leander leaned back in their chair and gave Lindbeck a good look. "How's Suzi?"
Lindbeck smirked. At some point, elements of the Nepharan command had taken to calling Nafuna Akongo 'Suzi Rain' - or 'suzerain', to reflect the state she'd increasingly talked her nation into. Malik was 'the Little Prince', and Ulf ... well, Ulf had mostly gone forgotten until the failed assassation turned everything on its head.
"Nafuna is going well. She is... adjusting to the loss of her right hand."
"Should ask Sey for tips," Leander muttered.
"Hm. Her position has been clarified now."
"That's one word for it."
"The only thing that concerns me," she said, "is other influences. We aren't the only one with Nafuna's ear. It's the Peoples' Federation that concerns me. People with an ideological stake..."
"We don't have that? Last I heard we're here to spread the word of truth, justice, regicide and a decent flat white from horizon to horizon." Leander shrugged their slim shoulders. "My motivations aren't so complicated. I don't know what makes a good spy--"
"Ah, ah. Operative."
"I don't know what makes a good spy, but I know what makes a good soldier. You have to hate war."
Lindbeck blinked. "I don't follow."
"If you love war... you start to believe in glory, and dangerous things like that. I hate war. I'm damn good at it, but it's not any sort of calling. What I want is to nip this damn thing in the bud and go home, and I don't want to be back, either. That means destroying our enemies, sure, but it also means striking on a lasting solution at the first time of asking." Leander's monologue paused for a moment, as Islinger played Belgrade in past the line. The substitutes were proving a fruitful attacking combination. Yet the cross was too high for Gjasula. They continued. "Training and gearing the KRF's grunts is all well and good, but their officer corps needs root and branch reform. Too much corruption, too many warlords, people who love war. And when one of our captains and one of their captains is telling a KRF goon different things, we know that our man has been through the trenches and passed tests and that their man probably is there because his old man handed over the right bribes to get him in the party structure... but how's the grunt know that? And if they look to our man... great, they don't burn down a tent full of children or whatever random atrocity. Until our man leaves the country. So do we really want to undermine the KRF as we've been doing? No. It's about getting them on their own damn feet."
"They're hardly fit for purpose, now."
"Short-term, yes. But it needs to be our long-term aim. Flattening our opponents would be easy, if we really set our minds to it."
Lindbeck chuckled. "Nafuna wouldn't be amused to find you so cavalier about holding back."
"Hang Suzi. She's a child. We just kill everyone in the way and leave, she gets four good years, some random underling decides to go Praetorian and we're left with another war to clean up, except everyone will hate us for going in again, not least ourselves. They'll just be left to it."
"I'm aware."
"I mean, you don't plan to be stranded by her side forever, surely?"
"If that's what it takes."
"Then make sure it doesn't take that, surely."
"To do our duty for Nephara means getting our hands dirty. If you wanted to examine the philosophy behind it all, perhaps you should've been a politician, instead. We're here to do a job."
Leander gave Lindbeck a distasteful look. "And the job won't stay done unless the KRF can stand," they said. "Tell Suzi that. Ah, hey--" They glanced back up at the screen, the ball in the net, Gjasula wheeling away. Temporarily. "Ah, no, it's miles offside..."
By the time they looked back, Lindbeck was already gone.

[Farfadillis]

[Tangentially-relevant context which is not necessary]

Tahir Fejzuli stepped up to take the free kick... probably. It was hard to tell. The broadcast wasn't exactly high-definition.

"That's the Mâ Âlâmëómë lad, right?" Héctor Uno piped up from the back. "He's gonna bury it."

"Don't jinx it, dumbass." Héctor Uno's twin brother Héctor Dos slapped his head.

The two Héctors were the loudmouths of the neighborhood. They could be a bit on the grating side a lot of the time, but they eventually grew on you if you were around them long enough. Very, very long enough.

"Choripán?" Héctor Uno fished for a taker, ignoring his brother.

A few rows ahead of him, Zapopa raised her hand absent-mindedly. Everyone else was too focused on the match to pay attention to Héctor Uno being himself. Still, the bet made a lot of sense. There was no way Fejzuli's free kick conversion rate was above, what, 15%? She had that choripán in the bag, surely.

Fejzuli took a few steps and then masterfully placed the ball well beyond Ibrelaná's reach. Everyone erupted in celebration. Gushes of beers arced over the crowd. The euphoria lasted for about a minute, then they calmed down. With that goal and only ten minutes to go, a Mytanar win seemed pretty much guaranteed.

"Doña Martina, a celebratory choripán for our friend Héctor... Uno? I think." Zapopa shouted from across the crowd once things had settled down.

Doña Martina smiled. It was one of those smiles that were contagious. One of those that displayed calm, deep bliss. She added an extra slice of tomato to the choripán as a treat, then handed it to Héctor Uno, who'd already made his way to the grill. "Strange seeing you win one, for once." She joked as she handed him the choripán. "This really is a special day!"

"I knew I had this one in the bag. Fejzuli plays in Farfadillis, and players always score against the countries they play in, for whatever reason." He commented absent-mindedly before biting down on his well-earned appetizer. Doña Martina nodded politely. He always sounded a little deranged, but it had become charming after enough years. "So... it's happening, probably?"

She smiled. "Maybe." She put another chorizo on the grill. "We'll see."

"I still remember when you had him serving us guiso at the ollas." He looked at the TV. "He was, what, six? Seven?"

"Six when he started." She replied, still smiling while she kept grilling. "I had to make Soña ground him a few times for serving too much food. He's always been very kind. He never could understand that if he gave some people too much food, there wouldn't be enough for some others. "

Héctor Uno grabbed a beer, then placed a bill on the table. Enough for two though, presumably, he wanted her to keep the change. "Well, he was always every bit as kind as he was not smart, so I guess that sounds just like him."

Doña Martina laughed. "No doubt. I'm very glad he's good at kicking a ball around, I'll tell you that much." She looked up. "The beer's on the house, by the way." She said, handing him his money back.

"No, it isn't." He grinned, refusing the money, then made his way back to his seat.

The camera panned to Yonatoño warming up. Everyone cheered. Manguele was keeping his word: if the game seemed like either a sure win or a sure loss, he'd be giving him his World Cup debút. A risky promise to make, likely born out of bad arithmetic: if Farfadillis conceded one more goal, they'd be facing Cassadaigua instead of Graintfjall, so it's not like the game did not matter.

Five minutes passed, with everyone expectant. Finally, the camera focused on the fourth referee. With his back towards the camera, wearing number thirty, it was the same kid everyone there had seen grow up. The same kid that had helped out at the ollas with his aunt, Doña Martina. The kid that every other kid wanted in their team when playing on the street. The one that had had his parents taken away from him too soon, and had become Doña Martina's son in everything but name.

Everyone could remember him helping out at the ollas, back when food was anything but guaranteed. When someone was too sick to attend the ollas, he'd be the one to deliver the guiso to them, pedaling on his small bike. Always willing to help, always with a smile. They'd seen him make it to the La Querida first team. They'd seen him make his debút for the national team. This, somehow, felt much rawer, much more real. It was the World Cup. Every Farf's respite, once every two years. It did not get bigger than this, and Yonatoño was about to be part of it.

He high-fived Emiliano Gallegas, then stepped onto the pitch. As he did, nobody was happier or more hopeful than those who were at Doña Martina's La Querida.

[Alasdair I Frosticus]

THE GOOFI NEWSLETTER


Hey there GOOFI friends! It's me! Shet-Niggurath, the Pony in the Fields With a Thousand Haggis Young! I'm just back from a rigorous training session alongside Nig'el, who was telling me so many wacky things about his mad cultists in Turori, along with some stories about his appearance in the World Cup 88 final!

I like Nig'el, but I don't like thinking about the World Cup 88 final. I only watched it; I didn't play in that one. But still, the result made me sad.

But there's no reason to be thinking about the World Cup 88 final, because guess what! We're still in World Cup 89! I bet you didn't see that one coming after the 0-0 draw against Vdara and the 4-2 loss to Twicetagria, did you, my GOOFI friends? I bet you thought that cuddly Cthulhu and his playful pals were down and out for the count! Only a win against our GOOFI bounce buddies in Kelssek would do - and then only if Vdara failed to win. Well, let me tell you, you don't get to become an insanity-inducing eldritch entity if you're not prepared to face down the odd obstacle on the way to the final apocalypse, even if you do prefer tea and crumpets and cuddles before the final dawning of the end times.

That said, I thought we were down and out for the count at the 85 minute mark, what with Vdara beating Twicetagria 2-1, and us still locked into a 0-0 draw against our GOOFI Kelssek buddies... Boy, things looked bad then, and even a nice cup of tea, a clotted cream scone, and a read of the latest issue of The Turnip (I just love The Turnip, don't you?) wouldn't have cheered me up then. But football's a funny old game, what with Twicetagria scoring an 86th-minute equaliser against Vdara, and then me scoring a goal off an indirect free kick deep into injury time to beat Kelssek. And you know what, that's the second time I've scored this World Cup campaign, and the second time that my last-gasp winner has salvaged something dramatic for us, whether topping the group at the death in qualifying, or now sending us through to the knockout stages! I may not score many goals, but when I do, they seem to be late and crucial! Gosh, I was so excited... I even shared out plates of haggis with our Kelssek GOOFI friends after the match, though sad to say they didn't seem very hungry.

But it makes me really sad that Kelssek were knocked out. There was that lovely letter from Martin Bridgehouse about joining GOOFI in which he said I was Moonbeam Infantino's favourite! That Moonbeam Infantino certainly is a hoopy frood who really knows where his towel is! That letter made me so excited! I started using exclamation marks even more than usual! True Mr Bridgehouse actually prefers Hastur, but then Hastur does score more goals (even if mine tend to be really, really crucial).

Anyway, we managed to arrange to have a lovely sporting garden party at the centre circle following the match, even if our GOOFI friends in Kelssek didn't seem to want much haggis. We did managed some cuddles, though! Well, actually the playful pals all cuddled each other; the Kelssek squad didn't seem to want to cuddle us, though they were happy to watch our cuddles. We did have witty and entertaining conversation about the leading issues of the day, though! Well, sort of. The Kelssek squad didn't seem to have much of an opinion over whether a Deep One impregnating a human female would naturally lead to the final apocalypse. Well, other than Ashley Douglass; she seemed to have some firm opinions on the matter, and I regret to say she said some very naughty words while expressing her displeasure over the topic. Maybe she should eat more clotted cream scones to calm her down.

So, we're through to the knockout stages, where we play Nephara - who are a very good side. I mean, gosh, a second round match between the first and third-ranked teams in the multiverse! I really like Nephara - honest - though I read somewhere that while there's no doubting that they're a very good football team (shame they haven't joined GOOFI, really), that primary dark green colour, redolent of the oozing ichor of some dread eldritch entity, does look like the sort of colour that only a mad cultist could love.

I sometimes think that 'Nephara' sounds like the name of an eldritch entity, or perhaps the site of unspeakable rituals. Here's a list of possible story titles involving Nephara!

• The Doom that Came to Nephara
• The Dream-Quest of Unknown Nephara
• The Call of the Cormorants
• The Shadow Over Nephara
• The Cormorant Out of Space

Let's face it, I might have just made all of that up, but between those stories and their primary kit colours they'd fit right in to GOOFI Do you think Nephara will join GOOFI before the match? I really hope they do! At the end of the day, all we really want is to build links of cuddle-based friendship between ordinary mortals, Great Old Ones, and Elder Gods over tea and scones and crumpets, sharing laughter, cuddles, and friendship while discussing the leading existential issues of the multiverse. So here's hoping!

Catch'ya later!

[Squidroidia]

World Cup 89 Round of 16. It was a sequence of words, the competition name followed by the round, that would instill different feelings depending on which national team camp you were in. A member of GOOFI, and therefore a person watching The Holy Empire, would not be thrilled with just finishing in the last 16, and would instead want their Fluffy Bunnies to take the World Cup that was stolen by the Eels of Turori that night in Chromia. For a Tumbra supporter, they would be estatic - This was their first time in a World Cup PERIOD. Qualifying out of a group with the co-hosts Tikariot, Omerica and Pasarga was a miracle all in itself, and even if they bow out against Audioslavia in Avanaroch, it would be a run worth celebrating.

And then you get to the Squidroidian camp. Honestly, if you're a fan of the Inklings, you think that this whole entire thing was a dream. Need I say more about their qualification group, need I say more about Vilita, need I say more about everything leading up to Elephant Valley? Squidroidia came into qualification as the 61st best team in football, and now they were one of the 16 best teams in the sport and had a golden opportunity to get to the last 8 - They would take on another nation who made their debut in the final 32 this term, a force in Melayu football, Pemecutan. The White Myna. Winner would face either Nephara or The Holy Empire in the last 8.

Squidroidian manager Adam Johnson was no stranger to the last 16. With his native Barunia at the iconic now-Anaia led World Cup 75, 14 cycles and 28 years ago, he guided his Suns to a 1-1-1 group stage record, blasting into the knockouts with a 2-1 win over Ficiscia, before beating Chromatika in Ousevale 1-0 and then losing to Valladares in the Quarter-Finals. It was his only knockout stage appearance with Barunia, and now he was back. A 1-2-0 record in the group stage, 2nd in a group with the hosts, it seemed like he still had more gas in the tank than what was expected. Most of the Squidroidians in the national team were either infants or not even born when that happened. And now he was coaching them to potentially make the same distance his Suns team had. Lisa Collins-Holzknecht seemed like a legend from long ago to the players he had on hand.

As the Squidroidians prepare for the first ever knockout stage game at the World Cup in their 4 cycle history, some may look onwards to the path they're on. Win against Pemecutan and the Inklings would face either The Holy Empire or Nephara, the latter the Squidroidians faced in World Cup 88 qualification, not getting the better of the Comorants in both legs. Most likely the Squidroidian run would end there, but if an upset of monumental proportions happened, most likely Squidroidia would go face to face with defending champions Turori for a place in Tikariot City unless Kandorith or Twicetagria do something, which is highly unlikely. An Eels team defending their title is a scary prospect, and almost certainly would be the end of the line for the Inklings. And that's not even counting the scary Tikariot side, with Pasarga and Ko-oren and Valanora and Cassadaigua and Audioslavia and the Farfs all in it with only one spot in the Final between them.

Be glad that Squidroidia even got here.

---

The Hater's Guide to the World Cup 89 Knockout Stage
No, I didn't get this from RLStates
By Shotclocking Supersquid

Okay, I'll make this short and simple - This might be the most wild World Cup we've ever had. ALL FOUR first time qualifiers have made it to the last 16, and at least ONE of those is going to the Quarter-Finals! That alone should make this World Cup wilder than any tournament ever, but we have an easy path and a hard path to break down... So shall we?

ETHANE
Not going to lie, I didn't have Ethane making the last 16 at all. It was always going to be a 3 way battle for 2 spots between Brenecia, South Newlandia and maybe Squidroidia squeaking in and causing a shock. I thought Ethane would flame out ala 87, but instead they caught fire. A draw against Squidroidia and wins against South Newlandia and Brenecia saw them top their group, but I don't see the fire burning for long. I don't think there's enough spirit in this team to take them past the 2nd round. Especially if their opponent is...

TURORI
...The defending World Champions. Now listen, they might be the best team in the world on paper, but they had a relatively shaky end to the qualifiers and laid a goose egg and conceded 3 goals... Against Pemecutan on Matchday 1. More on this team later, but the Eels have shown much better progress against Baker Park and Krytenia, and they will almost certainly use this form to cause damage to teams later down the road. Turori will go far once again, just you wait and see. Long live the Eels.

TWICETAGRIA
Where the hell did this team come from? What kind of sorcery did these people do to beat The Holy Empire and top a group that the Fluffy Bunnies should've topped? I know this team beat a half-mismanaged Eura team that couldn't even win the Cup of Harmony during the 88 group stage, but the fact that they, in their SECOND CYCLE IN THE FINAL TOURNAMENT, are in with a shot at the Quarters astonishes me. If there's a song that should symbolize the incredible run they've had as of late, it is "I Can't Stop Me". Because this team can't be STOPPED.

KANDORITH
It's been your first rodeo at the World Cup since the cycle of 86, and you've just lost a narrow scrap to Nephara and have Eura and Chromatika to face. Do you:
A) Lose both of those game ala World Cup 86
B) Find your way around Chromatika but lose to Eura
C) Draw against Chromatika and lose to Eura
D) None of the above, beat both Chromatika and Eura and get within one Likey of the last 8
If you say D, you're correct! Kandorith are in the knockout stage! Have impending death by eels or saying no to a question where the answers are yes and yes!

PEMECUTAN
How did this team top their group like Twicetagria but on their FIRST ATTEMPT? While beating the defending world champions in their group? By golly this must be a miracle! This is indeed the first time that a team from the Melayu Archipelago, by my knowledge at least, has gotten to this stage, and what a better team to do it than this team right here? Enjoy this one while you can, because other than maybe the Quarter-Finals, you aren't getting any farther. Have a trophy for winning your group.

SQUIDROIDIA
The team that barely got in at the last second, against all the odds, have a shot at the Quarter-Finals. Maybe I'm thinking now that Vilita not making it was a good thing after all - Draws against the hosts and Ethane while recording a famous win against Brenecia (Ashihei's statue outside Inkopolis City Stadium can be built any day now) surely mean that the Squidroidians have good momentum by their side. I don't think we're going to the Semi-Finals this cycle but I'm fine with Quarters or even a last 16 finish! Even if Adam Johnson's sands of time are running out... Damn, 14 cycles since your last knockouts appearance... Who knew.

NEPHARA
If it wasn't for Chromatika holding them level in their final group game, the Comorants would've headed into the knockout stages as the only team to win all 3 games. This team knows what they are made of, but they have a tricky path to the Semis because one foe is standing in their way...

THE HOLY EMPIRE
The mad cultists crave revenge for 88. GOOFI wants their World Cup and will stop at nothing to get it. That 5th World Cup stolen from them at the 11th hour by the Eels must be returned at all costs. Draw against Vdara! Lose in humilation to Twicetagria! Drink the blood of the Kelsseks! Crave victory against Nephara and take down the Eels on the path to global domination! Okay, actually that's going to be hard because the Tikariot half of the bracket is STACKED.

PASARGA
Who would've thought that the Wanderers would score the most goals out of everyone in the groups and NOT the Farfs? I know, right? I know it's been a HOT minute since 72, but I don't think Pasarga are going to win the World Cup this cycle. If they were in the South Newlandian section of the bracket they MIGHT have a chance, but I don't see it with the firepower they have at every single turn. Case in point:

KO-OREN
...Has it really been 2 cycles since they made the World Cup final in 87 only to lose to the Comorants that lost the previous 2 finals to Banija and the god damn Free Republics in their final ever tournament that isn't the World Bowl? They aren't getting back there this cycle, and certainly not in the 90s as well with how much they love footbal- I mean gridiron. For crying out loud, they finished 3rd in the Group of Death last cycle! Isn't that a sign already that this team is cursed?

CASSADAIGUA
This team is going far, wait and see. Shame they have Valanora.

VALANORA
Shame they have Cassadaigua because I want to see those Elves win their 6th title.

AUDIOSLAVIA
Well well well if it isn't Jaffaland themselves, the leaders of Anaia and a team destined to get back to the Final? At least they have the Quarters spot already taken because...

TUMBRA
You're fucked.

FARFADILLIS
Fancy Farfs Fluff Far For Fortuity. Did that make any sense? Sure as hell did as much as their PATENTETED score lines, which, for the groups anyways, fizzled out like paper and fossilized into dust. I know this team has potential, but they are almost certainly facing Audioslavia in the Quarters. You know what that means...

GRÆNTFJALL
You're fucked with a kraken.

So that's all set and done, now time for predictions! For the South Newlandia semi-final I have Nephara beating Turori to get to their 4th final in 5 cycles while... Audioslavia get past Pasarga. Pasarga get 3rd place while Nephara and Audioslavia both go to penalties, with the Comorants getting their 3rd World Cup title while Jaffacake cries into his Weetabix. Or we can just BLOW IT UP and have The Holy Empire again. GOOFI's coming after me, aren't they?

[Twicetagram and JYPe]

Home >> International >> World Cup

---

Aidor: "Miracles are happening"

By Yanik Rosarov

After a last-gasp equaliser in the 86th minute against Vdara, the Lieutenants have secured a place in the second round of this edition's World Cup finals. Most of the players were clearly ecstatic, but one player in particular broke down into tears in the post-match press conference.

"[It's] hard to believe we've come this far. I feel so proud of my mates," Aidor said, teary-eyed, "To think that when I first joined the Cup of Harmony was our only goal, the fact that we've come here is a story to tell children and generations." Aidor first joined the squad in the 86th edition, when Ryoviste first took charge of the team.

The streets of Twice Square were full of celebrations and beerfests as people from all walks of life came together to celebrate the milestone. Chanting "Slava Tvoystaiger", what was even more surprising was several Twicists joining on the fun.

"Maybe they aren't as bad as I thought," said one TwiiTur user.

The Lieutenants' manager Lyuk Druuga was very pleased with the team's achievements, and he had high praises for them.

"Last cycle was our first WC [World Cup] appearance, and we got knocked out of the group stage. Now that we're here, the boys can use their prior experience and maturity to propel us forward," he stated with a poetic undertone, "They have done really well this cycle. Their efforts both on and off the pitch will not go unnoticed."

Twicetagria faces Kandorith in the Round of 16, where the victor plays the winner between Ethane and Turori.

[Ko-oren]

Has THIS ever happened to you?

[Act I]

[Scene I]

Luxurious office/board room. In the window behind the mahogany table, a football pitch is clearly visible.

CHAIRMAN, a grey man in a suit, sits in board room. He is talking to someone else through a conference call system on the table.

CHAIRMAN: "I'm glad we could reach a concensus. We will sell our star striker to you for two million En Es Dee."

CONFERENCE CALL SYSTEM: "Pleasure doing business with you. We're looking forward to seeing more from [star striker]"
(notes: come up with name)

(more notes: come up with name that is not a clear ripoff of Val Kylx)
CONFERENCE CALL SYSTEM: "beep beep" (call has ended)

CHAIRMAN: "Heh heh heh. [Star striker] is clearly only worth one million and four hundred thousand, max! What a rip off. A day well spent."

[End Scene I]

Third Chapter. Who keeps overpaying?

In the scenario above, do you feel like [CONFERENCE CALL SYSTEM] sometimes? Overpaying for players has two factors: either you keep getting ripped off... or you just have too much money and you don't know what to do with it. We'll see a bit of both today.

First of all, there is the issue of small sample sizes. We've seen it in the previous chapters: some leagues or clubs only buy or sell one or two players (that's a rare triple 'or' - savour it!) and the few data points make for some wiiiild outlier stats. Sell one player for 10 million and it looks like your league is made of money. We've got to weed those out.

For this chapter, we look at the leagues that keep buying players for incredible amounts of money. Last chapter, we had leagues with the excuse of 'we only sell young players so our numbers are skewed' and well, I won't have any more of those excuses. If you're low in this ranking, it means you only buy bad/young players - and that's on you. Now first, the top 4 teams include three leagues with a single transaction (SFF, SVT, SPM) for huge sums, but if we ignore those, we get the regular suspects. USR (13 transfers for 4.4 M NSD on average) leads the charge, and the top 10 also has Nephara, Banija, Taeshan, Eura, Pasarga, Siovanija and Teusland, and Audioslavia - that roughly coincides with the top 12 leagues in the IFCF. Finally, a ranking that makes sense.

If it weren't for another top 10 nation: Darmen. They are second (8 transfers (which is on the low side) with 3.98 M NSD per transfer, though the league has stalled out in the IFCF to an extent. They shelled out big money for Baker Park's Laing, Nepharim Anselm, Kreilach, Seitz, and Isring (and if you don't recognise those names from the NT, remember that simply having a Nepharan passport adds about 2 million to your transfer fee), Brenecian Everett, as well as two very special players. It's no secret that Ko-orenite players have certain preferences. The Quebecois, Euran, and Audioslavian leagues are full of decent, fantastic, and fantastic Ko-orenites, respectively. The Darmeni league, however, has attracted potential Dragonflies for forever now, and a host of solid players still earn their money there. Miyazawa, Kampmans, Grootenhuis, Pott, Araújo, Hovestad, Yamasaki... that's almost a Ko-orenite Top League winning squad right there.

Spending about three million NSD per transfer puts you in the top 10. 15 further nations shell out between 2 and 3 million per acquisition, and it's more of the same. Valladares, Chromatika, Valanora, all the big names are here... and some less big names. Ko-oren, Cassadaigua, Vilita, and Brenecia, with good to great leagues and even better national teams, are on the cheap side: neither breaks the 2 M NSD per transfer barrier.

And as always, because I know you want the full table:

To clubs in	Count	Sum (M NSD)	Average
SFF	1	32	32
SVT	1	8	8
USR	13	57,3	4,407692308
SPM	1	4	4
DAR	8	31,8543816	3,9817977
NPH	182	684,05	3,758516484
BNJ	78	271,6	3,482051282
TAE	32	104,6	3,26875
EUR	217	698,304	3,217990783
TWI	2	6,25	3,125
PAS	67	207,3	3,094029851
STL	46	139,9	3,041304348
ACH	4	12	3
OSR	1	3	3
AUD	103	307,845	2,988786408
VLD	33	94	2,848484848
CMT	242	686,258	2,83577686
OAM	8	22,1	2,7625
FPT	5	13,5	2,7
VAL	87	232,75	2,675287356
MRC	4	9,9	2,475
SVJ	34	82,05	2,413235294
ASF	1	2,4	2,4
HTK	6	13,1	2,183333333
KRY	54	117,775	2,181018519
INS	3	6,5	2,166666667
MUR	19	40,3	2,121052632
KHD	4	8,15	2,0375
EFL	34	68,85	2,025
CDG	44	83,89	1,906590909
KOR	25	47,55	1,902
BRP	2	3,8	1,9
VIL	28	52,5	1,875
BRE	83	152	1,831325301
TMB	71	124,008	1,746591549
QUE	107	184,434	1,723682243
ZRH	104	171,465	1,648701923
KND	30	48,6	1,62
SRS	133	190,25	1,430451128
SQR	13	18,55	1,426923077
AFT	14	19,65	1,403571429
XAN	33	46,104	1,397090909
TEQ	17	23,5	1,382352941
SYL	69	93,508	1,355188406
CBP	41	53,1	1,295121951
ASG	84	104,854	1,248261905
FVA	44	54,2	1,231818182
JUE	6	7,25	1,208333333
ETN	16	18,8	1,175
EOT	37	41,7	1,127027027
MRN	18	20,19	1,121666667
KSK	108	119,904	1,110222222
PFA	71	77,42	1,090422535
HVY	6	6,5	1,083333333
GRF	88	94,538	1,074295455
SFD	35	37,15	1,061428571
PCU	5	5,154	1,0308
TLI	30	30,3	1,01
BUS	3	3	1
BOL	18	17,6	0,9777777778
SNL	46	44,37	0,9645652174
FET	2	1,9	0,95
NWK	23	20,82001	0,9052178261
ERM	5	4,5	0,9
PYA	26	23,3	0,8961538462
SHT	9	7,874	0,8748888889
NAC	2	1,68	0,84
TKT	216	178,914	0,8283055556
BRO	30	24,5	0,8166666667
DEL	7	5,5	0,7857142857
SOR	40	29,554	0,73885
NOV	2	1,4	0,7
YZH	5	3,25	0,65
SAJ	2	1,25	0,625
ESL	1	0,5	0,5
EQS	4	2	0,5
TSA	1	0,5	0,5
MYT	26	12,008	0,4618461538
SVG	11	3,775	0,3431818182
TPL	2	0,6	0,3
MRT	45	6,6	0,1466666667
FFD	52	6,2	0,1192307692
ZWZ	21	0	0
CBR	1	0	0
TUR	6	0	0
LFD	1	0	0
n/a	1	0	0
HUE	1	0	0
CRY	1	0	0
TIO	2	0	0
SRG	1	0	0

I accept no remarks about "our transfer sums are undisclosed, we should be higher". Just disclose the transfer money you dummy.

Next up: Transfer Market Net Gains - who's like 'S T O N K S' and who's bleeding money in international transfers?

---

We have our knockouts! Ko-oren nearly snatched defeat from the jaws of victory, but the natural chaos coming from a group containing Electrum, Audioslavia, and ourselves eventually prevented us from failing to make the Round of 16. We're looking at eight games in the next couple days, each more inequal than the last. Nephara (ranked 3rd) is the underdog in their matchup versus the Holy Empire while Pemecutan and Squidroidia will deliver a quarterfinalist as well (ranked 55th and 53rd at the start of the tournament). The same goes for Kandorith and Twicetagria (27th and 45th) - best of luck to our friends from Kandorith, by the way! Other games are plain lopsided, with Audioslavia taking on Tumbra (a ranking difference of 54 spots!), Ethane versus Turori (32 spots between them). The remaining three games are just plain and simple good games between good teams. Cassadaigua versus Valanora - like Nephara versus the Holy Empire, I could believe it if that were a World Cup final. Farfadillis versus Graintfjall is going to a great matchup (11th versus 21st). And the last remaining game is Ko-oren versus Pasarga - you might believe it if this were a quarterfinal, maybe a semifinal, but it's tough seeing one of these two drop out at this stage.

Now... while our record in this wretched round is 1-8 (one win, eight losses), our last Round of 16 lost was in World Cup 85. Since then, we've seen our only win, which immediately pushed us on a miraculous run into the final - which we lost, turning us into the only nation to have lost every major* final. No small feat. That run materialised versus Pasarga in the group stage. At the time we finished second in the group behind the Wanderers, but we did win the direct confrontation 1-0. Let's hope for more of that.

Of course, we can't close the book on the group stage just yet. The Dragonflies lost to the Butts with the only survivable margin, while Audioslavia completed Mercedini's 0-0 collection. There's a few observations about Group F that we can't look past. Mercedini didn't concede a single goal, which means they didn't lose a single game - and they're last. The other three teams are tied three-way, broken by goal difference (which is why we couldn't lose by more than one versus Electrum). Our outscoring of the Bulls 2-1 saved us, while they laid the groundwork for a knockout adventure started with the 2-0 win over Electrum.

Anyway, seeing how we've only beat teams ranked higher than us, we're sure Pasarga will allow us passage into the quarterfinals. Yes, amidst the chaos of Group F, we failed to beat any nation ranked 20th and below. The path ahead of us - short as it might turn out to be - is full of high-ranked teams (even if all the first timers made the knockouts making parts of the bracket look easy), and we wouldn't have it any other way. Are we cursed? Squidroidian media say we are. We've heard the term 'Bottle Merchants' before (applied to us, as well as the Krytenians for their struggles two rounds after we're usually out, and the Audioslavians and their runner-up problems - and don't forget about Eastfield Lodge, or Mercedini who are now 6 from 6 in group stage exits).

*WC, WBC, IBC, World Bowl, WCOH, as well as HWC, RUWC

[Pasarga]

Despite being the fourth seed in the group, Tumbra was the most difficult of teams for the Wanderers to try and break down, showing that they have quickly improved themselves over the last few years since reentering the international arena. Unlike the previous two games where the Wanderers were able to attack with impunity, Tumbra was able to make the attack stall out at times and look far from the menace that it had been for Omerica and the threat that they had been in the opening game against the cohosts. That is the way the Finals go sometimes, that the team that there is the least amount of expectation from coming into a group is the one that is able to play the best, perhaps because of that lack of expectation of what they should do. Regardless, the Wanderers were able to eventually find a way past Tumbra and get the three points that secured their passage out of the group and into the third straight knockouts in the Finals. After missing two straight Finals, the Wanderers have been able to make the second round since, even if the qualification for those Finals and the knockout stages themselves have been a bit touch and go at various points, giving a lot of undue stress to fans to the team.

Like the growing superstar that he is, it was Elek Salai that would eventually net the game winner, putting the Wanderers' ahead in the sixty-third minute with a well placed strike from just outside the six yard box that Lennon was unable to get down in time to stop. However no striker can carry a team alone, they need service that provides for those opportunities on net, and it was Vojmil Topić who had put in the cross that Salai was able to chest down and slot home. The winger from CA Paulinthal continues to look like that once in a generational talent, being the catalyst that brings the offense to bear on the opposition backline. It really speaks to how good this entire team is with the amount of talented players in the front six positions that could all be considered among the best in their positions. It is unfortunately the aging defensive unit that keeps the idea of a golden generation being spoken about with this group, as well as the aforementioned struggles that the team has had in their various qualification campaigns, even if they would ultimately end up successful in those campaigns.

That unstoppable force of the attack, being the side with the most goals in the group stage of the Finals, is set to meet the immovable object that is the Ko-oren team in the knockout stages, a Ko-oren team that needed a bit of work in the last matchday as well to be able to secure their progression to the second round. Given that there are sides that are far more attacking orientated in the way that they set up their teams, specifically teams like Farfadillis, it is quite a remarkable feat to see that it was our side from the dual islands that was able to find the back of the net the most out of all thirty-two teams, though putting five past the overwhelmed Omerica side definitely helped in that regard. It leans into the idea that this team is ready to overcome all obstacles and can actually live up to the lofty expectations that come with being in the top ten of the WCC rankings heading into the tournament. There was a feel after the six goal thriller with Tikariot that the side could either ride the offensive momentum to success or wallow in the depths of the poor defense, luckily the team opted for the former and has looked superb since, with the change in the defensive line having paid massive dividends for the team.

Looking to end that run though is a Ko-oren team that is very much a defensive powerhouse, having made their mark through the sport by being one of the most difficult teams to get goals against. Much like former regional rivals of Taeshan, the Ko-oren team seems to embody the spirit of System Karela that Rejistania made (in)famous in the early stages of World Cup history. This is rematch of a recent Finals adventure, where Ko-oren was able to stifle the Wanderers' attack in one of their traditional one to nil victories, even though it would be the Wanderers who would win the group. There is nothing fancy about trying to find a way to defeat Ko-oren, you can not brute force your way through the tough defensive unit and stellar positioning, nor can you be too cute and try to tika taka your way past them either thanks to their discipline. It is a battle of grit and determination, who really wants it more, and who can get the lucky bounces to head their way. Ko-oren has made a habit of defeating the teams supposedly better than them in the rankings, but the Wanderers have performed their best against the best opposition. Something has to give as the two teams meet in Tikariot for the right to advance to the quarterfinals.

[Valanora]

It was not the sort of performance that many in the Marauders camp had expected or really wanted to put out against Zwangzug, not fully committing to the attack against their opposition like the manager had wanted, but in the end the job was done. Lothas Ludwig was able to add to his goal tally and stardom, having once again bagged multiple goals in the Finals and having fully embraced being the focal point of the attack for the team. Didrik had urged the team to be on the front foot and take risks against Zwangzug, but the team had been too settled into not trying to lose that they had failed to really deliver on that urging from their manager, until he blasted them during the half time team talk to fully commit if they wanted the opportunity to get into the knockouts. While a scoreless draw would have been enough for the team to have advanced, it would be sort of backdooring their way into the knockouts after having been defeated by Farfadillis and not exactly looking their best against Mytanija to open up the group either. Momentum was needed going to any potential knockout game, where a dangerous foe was most certainly going to await them.

The second half definitely saw the Marauders start to open up and be more expressive, showcasing some of that vintage attack that had helped earn the stars that adorned their crest. Zwangzug had their opportunities in the first half to try and pip a goal off the the languishing side, but they were unable to beat the defensive unit and a change in the middle of the park at halftime by Didrik, bringing Götz Konstantin on to start the second half, began to have an influence. The Bastion teammate of Laborious Hawk was able to navigate past the tiring, aging legs of Tova Miovuku, before finding the right through ball for Lothas to latch onto and finish off the move with a tap into the net, making Zwangzug pay for their inability to capitalize on their first half opportunities. The surprisingly resolute defending of the Marauders was then able to clamp down and allow the possession game in the middle do what it needed to do and see the match out without offering Zwangzug the sort of attacking chance that would really bother Julius in net, having only been beaten by the lethal finishing of the Farves in the group stage.

It is hard to figure out just where the Marauders are heading into the knockout rounds, as they have been far from looking like any sort of dominant, top five team in the world in their group stage performance. With only three goals, a solitary goal in all three games, there is a bit of concern that the rest of the teams in the tournament might have found ways to limit the Marauders usual plethora of attacking options and the efficiency they are used to in front of the net. On the flip side however, only Farfadillis was able to find a way to break past the defensive efforts of the Marauders, typically the weakest portion of the side but has been actually the best. This may be an indication that the wingers are playing too deep and not giving the usual support in the attack, giving a bit too much on the defensive end and crippling the thrust forward for the side. However the team was able to overcome their difficulties and advance from the group, a group that several foreign medias thought to be either the most difficult or among the most difficult to advance out of. Given that all the first time Finalists advanced, merely getting out of the group this tournament is an accomplishment in of itself.

With the team now in the knockouts though, there is no reason for them to still be stuck in the trying not to lose mindset, as every match can be their last and they will need to commit all of their effort into the oncoming fixture. Any talk of winning another title needs to be shelved, even if there is a huge desire among the team, management, and fans to try and do so. The team needs to only concentrate on the match in front of them and completely do away with what might happen, it is only what will happen. For the Marauders, that is a date with another team that is in the top ten of the rankings and a former World Cup champion, as they will be playing off against Cassadaigua. The Marauders have the most recent Finals victory, but both teams earned their trophies so long ago that there are quite a few nations who are favorites now who have never seen either of these storied sides of the tournament lift a trophy or know of the domination that either enjoyed during their reigns at the top of the sport.

In an interesting twist of fate, it was the Marauders whom the Dagans faced during their time at the top of the World Cup, way back in those early World Cup 50 editions, where the Dagans would get a victory over a Marauders team that had unexpectedly earned their way into the championship match. With nearly a century since that fateful encounter, it is easy to see why some might even say that Cassadaigua has been more starved for success than the team from the Eternal Empire. By rank, this match ought to have taken place in the next round or later in the tournament, alas one of these two top teams and historic sides will have their tournament cut short. It seems obvious to say but the difference in this matchup will not be the stardom of the young players for the Marauders, but it will be Laborious Hawk and if the captain can lead and perform up to his legendary status within the game, having been quite surprisingly quiet apart from his goal against Mytanija. Getting the best out of the captain might even be the tonic needed for the offensive woes of the squad and getting them to play like a championship contender and advancing past the Fillies.