World Cup 89 - Roleplay Thread

[Treekidistan]

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Chalk-o-late Frenzy

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According to the Imperial Dictionary published by the Treekidistan Literature College (Litcolle University), Chalk-o-late is a term used to describe:

• A long cylindrical sweet, which starts to melt when kept in the mouth.
• Treekidistan's largest Programming IDE.

The first definition of the term is widely accepted since it's something found in daily life. The Chalk-o-late is a long (6- 15 cm) cylindrical sweet ,which starts to melt when it gets contact with Saliva in the mouth. Chalk-o-late is one of the most bought sweet in the market, it was first invented by Charles Chimpman, Chimpman made a company called "Chimp's Chalks" which later turned into "Chalk-o-late". The Company name was therefore used as the product name. Chalk-o-late is available in various flavours including Chocolate, Strawberry, Butterscotch, Vannila, Black Current etc. At first Chalk-o-late were powdered sticks and later it turned into smooth and tasty sticks.

[Lathamford]

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WORLD CUP QUALIFICATION 89:: DETAIL

MD4: Eura vs. Lathamford (Eura 2–0 Lathamford)
@Bastion Arena (110,000) ׀ Game Sponsor: NIL
Greenash, Decker, Skelmersdale(C) (Barrington), Haymoore, Wymondham, Hargreave, Wyvernchaser, Colfield (Selfridges), Falconderry, Kingsley (A.Caskwoods), Farrowsteam


MD5: Lathamford vs. Talamia (Lathamford 0–1 Talamia)
@Thousandforks National Arena (27,122) ׀ Game Sponsor: LathaMines
Greenash, Decker, Skelmersdale(C), Haymoore (Darrington), Wymondham, Hargreave, Wyvernchaser (du Graypelt), Selfridges, Falconderry (Grantham), A. Caskwoods, Farrowsteam

World Cup Q89
Group 18:: MD1		Darmen		1-0			 Morten Clawbrand 	▍Dustin Skelmersdale
Group 18:: MD2		Schima Bas	1-1			 Otto Farrowsteam 	▍ Joe Wymondham, Clayton Decker
Group 18:: MD3		Sylestone	1-0			 Joe Wymondham       ▍ Martin Haymoore
Group 18:: MD4		Aura		0-2
Group 18:: MD5		Talamia		0-1

Scorer: World Cup Q89
Morten Clawbrand		1
Otto Farrowsteam		1
Joe Wymondham			1

MD6: Lathamford vs. Srednjaci
@Thousandforks National Arena (30,000) ׀ Game Sponsor: LathamLube

Glowsnarl
Wolfsong - Skelmersdale(C) - Barrington
Wymondham - T. Ashleigh -du Graypelt - Selfridges
Falconderry - Clawbrand - Farrowsteam

MD7: Agresos vs. Lathamford
@NA ׀ Game Sponsor: NA

Glowsnarl
Wolfsong - Skelmersdale(C) - J. Ashleigh
Wymondham - Wyvernchaser -du Graypelt - Colfield
Falconderry - Clawbrand - Farrowsteam

[Nephara]

Ochre Islands 1 - 2 Nephara
(4-3-3) 1 - Provost; 17 - Soeringer, 6 - Brabanzon, 22 - Bruhn, 3 - Lind (18 - Islinger 68'); 14 - Fletcher, 4 - Timekeeper (15 - Horvath 68'), 8 - Cromwell; 23 - Mrdja, 10 - Lovelace, 11 - Considine (19 - Belgrade 76')
Goals: Lovelace 24', Cromwell 59'

Nephara 5 - 2 Eraman
(4-3-3) 1 - Provost; 2 - Stride, 5 - Clevinger, 22 - Bruhn, 3 - Lind; 7 - Koerner, 4 - Timekeeper (15 - Horvath 54'), 8 - Cromwell (16 - Brand 71'); 13 - Reed, 21 - Basilisk (9 - North 71'), 11 - Considine
Goals: Considine 3', Basilisk 17', Reed 43', Clevinger 75', North 90+1'

ATTENDING:
POLITICIANS:
Ulrica LINDT, Margravine [Nationals]
Lars CONDER, Chancellor [Liberal Alliance]
Mette FARRELL, Treasurer [Nationals]
Clara STERN, Minister for Defence [Nationals]

OTHER:
Anselm CROKER, Head of NSIA
Marshal Claire BERGERON, commander of Nepharan military

PERSONS OF INTEREST:
NYK:
Nafuna AKONGO, President of Nyowani Kitara [KPWC]
Max ULF, rebel commander [DFLK]
Malik AKONGO, rebel commander [KFF]

OTHER:
Nadia CROWELL, Shadow Chancellor [Pro. Democrats]
Monika LINDBECK, NSIA operative
Ian SMITH, Prime Minister of Eura
Joshua RADEMACHER, President of the Darmeni Republic

MINUTES OF THE EMERGENCY MEETING - NYK
CORVISTONE 'WAR ROOM'

LINDT:
Thank you all for coming. I'd like to thank Anselm for preparing our dossiers at such short notice. I won't retread what's already been established. We're here to discuss solutions.

FARRELL:
I'd be lying if I said I'd done much more than heard of the place a week ago. Still not sure I could place it on a map, to tell you the truth.

STERN:
Two timezones out west.

CONDER:
It's pretty out of Deway-o.

[pause]

CONDER:
Like--

BERGERON:
Shut the fuck up.

CONDER:
Sorry.

BERGERON:
We're fully capable of an intervention, if you can get it so the Valladars or whoever don't shoot us down en route.

LINDT:
Let's not talk about direct intervention so soon. We can't play our hand.

BERGERON:
But if we could, they'd be fucked. On my honour, Margravine.

LINDT:
Thank you, Marshal. Now, politically, I'd like to stress that we're unlikely to have bipartisan support here. I've put out a few feelers and it seems unlikely Crowell will have any appetite towards intervention. So what are our limits here?

CROKER:
It's a difficult situation when there's no legitimate government. Supporting anyone will be with our teeth gritted, but the current situation is untenable.

STERN:
We're all in agreement the Little Prince is a non-starter, right? I mean, the man's an--

BERGERON:
I killed men like that in the War.

STERN:
-- entitled little shit, his claim is solely based on lineage.

FARRELL:
Bluntly, so is Nafuna's.

STERN:
She at least has incumbency on her side.

FARRELL:
So did Nephara's last kings. Ulrica, respectfully, I don't see how we can have a dog in this fight.

LINDT:
Lars, what do the Alliance think?

CONDER:
Restoring regional peace and trade is always our priority. Just so long as it doesn't put us at odds with the CRC.

STERN:
Live a little. We're a leading force within the CRC.

CONDER:
Yeah, a, one of. And after that little posturing effort I doubt we'll have Eura so easily on-side. An effort you'll remember I opposed.

LINDT:
Don't worry, Lars, I won't forget that your nerve failed. Smith, we can get on-side. I can handle Smith.

FARRELL:
... But to do what?

LINDT:
Mette, you were right to bring up precedent. We are no friend to monarchs. But iron-fisted dictators are somewhat more palatable.

CROKER:
May I?

LINDT:
Go ahead.

CROKER:
Respectfully, the 'Progressive Worker's' aspect of the KPWC is a farce.

LINDT:
I'm aware. But let's think about motive here. Ulf is... a believer. He's surrounded himself with an old guard of officers. He's got plans. Akongo? Do we really think she believes in anything? Certainly she's no genuine communist, but I doubt she has any greater belief in the power of a rigid oligarchy. No, all she wants, I should think, is power. If we give her the means to keep ahold of power - make her reliant on that - then we can extract... concessions.

FARRELL:
Better a leashed dictator than an unfettered military junta? Can't say I like it much more.

CROKER:
What concessions do you think you can make?

LINDT:
Well, you know the man better. Highest priority is ensuring there is no heir. Ideally ensuring our support is contingent on her never getting pregnant.

STERN:
I'd wager the other brat's knocked up his fair share of heirs.

BERGERON:
Round 'em up, shove 'em in a sack and throw 'em into the river.

LINDT:
Our support will ideally make the 'other brat' ineffective. For the rest: establishing a timeline to democratisation after the crisis has passed. I won't set up a dictator for life. A president, perhaps. Perhaps make her think we'll be a little more... flexible on that point. Ideally, get ourselves in a position where she's so reliant on us, she won't be left with a choice when we move the goalposts.

FARRELL:
So our plan is to quite literally negotiate with terrorists.

LINDT:
Why not? Everyone else is getting in on it. This does put us at odds with Darmen, but being at odds with Darmen probably puts is in the green with Valladares, and as Claire noted, it's Valladares who are in our way. Geographically speaking. But again, this all depends on whether the KPWC will accept heavily conditional support. I won't condone any support for the rebels. The answer to an old coup is not a new coup.

CROKER:
I'll have Lindbeck make contact with Akongo. Quietly.

BERGERON:
How good is she, Anselm?

FARRELL:
More importantly, how discreet?

CROKER:
She subverted a Brenecian election without notice. Even if it was only to cancel out subversion on the other side. Yes, she's good - my best - and I trust her absolutely.

LINDT:
Make it clear to her there will be nothing official - no endorsement, no legitimacy, certainly no support - without a public joint statement. And I'll open channels with Smith, wrap him around my finger. With or without him, though, we'll press on. We have a rare opportunity. From the War Room, we can orchestrate a peace.

FARRELL:
Si vis pacem, para bellum, eh?

LINDT:
Can I count on your support?

FARRELL:
In public, at least.

STERN:
Of course.

CROKER:
To the death.

BERGERON:
Give the order and I'll be toasting you with Malik's skull within the day.

LINDT:
Excellent. Let us reconvene in a week as the situation develops.

[CLOSE]

NEPHARAN NATIONAL TEAM SELECTION - FORTNIGHT 3
Goalkeepers: 1 - Aranea Provost (Spartangrad, EUR), 12 - Raluca Garamond (Sabrefell Athletic), 20 - Fasolt Senninger (AFC Treason)
Defenders: 2 - Rovena Stride (AFC Treason), 3 - Radeka Lind (Jinja City FC, BNJ), 5 - Reniira Clevinger (Herzegovina City FC, BNJ), 6 - Miska Brabanzon (Sabrefell Moths), 17 - Pristina Soeringer (Stein-los Turkish, PAS), 18 - Tanya Islinger (Creed United), 22 - Shosanna Bruhn (Soldarian FC, VAL)
Midfielders: 4 - Rook Timekeeper (Sabrefell Moths), 7 - Anselm Koerner (1830 Cathair, AUD), 8 - Lothaire Cromwell (AC Izotz Zubia, AUD), 14 - Thalassa Fletcher (La Nueva Avenida, FFD), 15 - Rashica Horvath (La Nueva Avenida, FFD), 16 - Pernille Brand (Brinemouth)
Forwards: 9 - Bastet North (Jungle Strike, VIL), 10 - Konrad Lovelace (Revolutionaries, EUR), 11 - Kendra Constantine Ramsey (AFC Treason), 13 - Severine Reed (Raynor City United, VAL), 19 - Ysabet Belgrade (Sabrefell Moths), 21 - Latona Basilisk (Mâ Âlâmëómë, FFD), 23 - Traudl Mrdja (Partisan Sjoedrhavn, SVJ)

SCHEDULE
Nephara 3 - 0 Martune (320) @ Phoenix Rise (Corvistone)
Tumbra (73) 0 - 2 Nephara
Nephara 0 - 3 NW Kalactin (119) @ Farham Arena (Sabrefell)
Ochre Islands (234) 1 - 2 Nephara
Nephara 5 - 2 Eraman (85) @ The Gauntlet (Treason)
Huayramarca (54) vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Ottoman Syldavia (UR)
Delaclava (154) vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. SRS (26) @ Farham Arena (Sabrefell)
Martune (320) vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Tumbra (73)
NW Kalactin (119) vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Ochre Islands (234) @ Phoenix Rise (Corvistone)
Eraman (85) vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Huayramarca (54) @ The Gauntlet (Treason)
Ottoman Syldavia (UR) vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Delaclava (154) @ Eagle's Club (Brinemouth)
SRS (26) vs. Nephara

[Indusse]

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The Daily Newsmaker
General Election Pre-Electoral Poll

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Overview

With the election season starting, all the media is behind political parties and leaders and publishing show on who and how people will vote. There is a total of 187 Constituencies in the nation consisting of the constituencies in the 11 Provinces and 3 Special Zone regions. There are four main alliances contesting this election namely; National Democratic Party (NDP), Justice League (JL), Indussean Communist Party (ICP) and Royal Family Alliance (RFA+).

Today, first in the pre-electoral poll we have the province of Hind. The Province of Hind contains the national capital region of New Hind City and is one of the most populous provinces in Indusse. It is also home to the top electoral battles in the nation.

HIND PROVINCE | ഹിന്ദ് പ്രവിശ്യ

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Electoral Code: HP
Constituencies: 36
Current Governor: Baskar H Kumar (New Hind City Constituency - NDP)
Current Seat Share: NDP (12), JL (11), ICP (7), RFA+ (5), Others (1)

The Pre-Electoral Polls show that the province would still be under the National Democratic Party headed by Incumbent President Baskar H Kumar. The main opposition would be the Justice League headed by Federick John Alexander. The Pre-electoral polls show that the National Democratic Party (NDP) would secure 36.1% of votes with a lead of over thirteen seats. They would be followed by the main opposition Justice League with 30.6% of votes with a lead of over eleven seats. The Indussean Communist Party (ICP) has the third most votes with 19.4% votes and a lead in seven seats. The Communists are in their all-time best seat share in the exit polls. The Royal Family Alliance (RFA+), which has its stronghold in the capital region would win about 11.1% votes with a lead in four seats. 2.8% votes would be under the other group and they would gain a seat probably In the Kushwara Constituency where Ajaykant Bhattacharya is the independent candidate.

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^ Seat Share Percentage

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^ Total Votes Gainable (Top Candidates)

The Above Chart shows the list of the candidates in the province from different parties who has the chance to receive the highest votes in their respective constituencies. The above chart indicates that In the National Democratic Party (NDP), their prima candidate Baskar H Kumar would win by consuming eighty-six per cent of the vote shares in his constituency. The Justice League would have Federick John Alexander winning the Rockies Island Constituency consuming eighty-nine per cent of vote shares. The Indussean Communist Party (ICP) will have Mrinalini Ghosh winning Rockies Island C-2 Constituency consuming eighty-one per cent of the respective vote shares. The Royal Family Alliance (RFA+) disappoints everyone with Raja Mahendranatha Kulashekara of Hind City Constituency winning his seat with the lowest top majority of seventy per cent vote shares.

[Pluvia and the Saxean Isles]

28 Greatstreet, Marienburg, Pluvia and the Saxean Isles

Prof. Charles Cunningham of the history department at the Royal Marienburg University was preparing to go to work. As he dressed, he noted that his wife wasn't next to him in the bed. He didn't give it too much thought, instead focusing on tying his tie. Make an x, this goes that way, tuck that here, pull here. He always had to do it two or three times to get it right. Thank goodness he never messed with bow ties, that would take him all morning. He then puttered around the kitchen, scorching his hand on the kettle before settling in to sip and read. After all, he had time for one more diary entry before he needed to go to work. They weren't too far from the university, so traffic was never too bad.

The last diary entry saw the reform bill pass, albeit by a narrow margin. William II had won a great victory, the first strike in his battle to reshape the kingdom. He also managed to convince the National Assembly to hold a new election after they had redrawn the electoral map to abolish rotten boroughs. But now William II was preparing to take a largely unprecedented step: he himself was going to be a part of the electoral campaign. Not as a candidate for office, not endorsing one party or one candidate over another, but bringing the message of reform to the people. He would urge them to vote for any candidate who supported his reform program, hoping to secure a National Assembly more friendly to his plans. This would be something completely different for a monarch, but William II was determined; he would leave no stone unturned in his quest to make his kingdom modern and prosperous.

April 26, 1885

It is done. After three days of wrangling with the Praesidium, with my mother, and with other various advisors and hangers-on, I will be embarking on my election journey. Despite all of the objections about it being undignified, or it being unsafe, or how to handle affairs of state if I am out of the capital, I have prevailed. I do not intend to jabber on or whip up the crowd in a frenzy like some demagogue; I merely intend to make speeches to both common and important people and to impress upon the nation the need for reform. As for safety, I am unconcerned. They give me my own battalion of soldiers to protect me, which is far more than I need, and which would only complicate matters of speaking and engaging directly with the people. I have nothing to fear, and even if I did, I trust in my security. This is merely a ruse to keep me at home. And with regards to affairs of state, the Praesidium, with my majority on it, is safely able to rule in my stead for a few weeks. If anything is urgent enough to require my personal attention, we have couriers who may bring it to me, though I regret that our railway capacity is severely limited outside of the Marienburg-Somermont line.

I have quelled all objections, and will set out no later than May 1. As with my trip to Somermont earlier, I have arranged with newspapers to cover my appearances favorably and with the local governments to drum up crowds and meetings with influential people. It will be a smashing success, if I am not putting the cart before the horse. Speaking of transportation, unfortunately, most of my trip will have to be by carriage or by steamship, because the limits on our railway system. As such, I will take a carriage to Framingham, the principal suburb of Marienburg, and then continue through West Marienshire northwest to meet the Alber River. Once across the river, I will pause in the Weston Vale town of Sherfield before continuing on to Alenard, the traditional second city of our realm, located near the Olden River. This will provide some respite, as the royal family maintains a palace here. From Alenard, I will continue down the Olden to Oldenbach, the major port on the northwest coast, and a traditional centre for peat. From Oldenbach, I will take a steamship along the coast to Albersend, then to Port Marian, and finally on to Brentsea and Blythemouth on the southeastern coast. I hope to speak here on the necessity of trade and good transport links to the interior of the nation. From Blythemouth, I'll continue up the Blythe to the cities of Barnwick and Barnmere on the great lake; this is a rapidly growing area, especially in the production of textiles. It should prove fertile ground. I shall then move up the Barning River to the great timber city of Swinwald, there to speak on industrial production. From Swinwald, I will return to Somermont to again drive home the point of industry, steel, and coal, and its necessity for our future. I shall then take the railroad and return to Marienburg in time for the election.

It is a grueling trip, and yet I will not visit many towns of our realm. It is the curse of our transportation deficits and the curse of time. But I hope that by speaking in these places, I shall create a groundswell of support for a reform program. Even in the cities I do not visit, there should reach them reports of my progress. A king on the campaign trail, if not on the hustings, is an unprecedented sight. Publicity is my friend and I intend to use it up to the hilt to achieve my goals.

PSI Goalscorers

@ Al-Qurija: Fletcher 49'

vs. New Lusitania: Goldberg 24'

[Atheara]

☵ Athearan Sport Ordering News
ASON.com.ah/football/WC/89Q
The website for all your Athearan sporting needs, and many non sport related stories!

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Football > World Cup > 89Q
Atheara Storms Group 4, Everyone In Shock!
The world is currently in a slight state of shock, as Atheara leads the race in Group 4! Getting two back to back wins puts Atheara at a positive 4 - 1 - 0 record, with the fact that Atheara is the only remaining team in the World Cup to not concede a goal so far! Thanks to the heroics of both Mugel Krygorf and John Harper, Atheara keeps a highly positive goal record. With a William Renocado hat trick against Barhe, and with the combined efforts of Toriff Hicosia Algeer, Ivan Yesterov - Rukovic, and Luis Frawning, this puts both match results in a 3 - 0 clobbering against Barhe and Usanguk respectively. Barhe was demolished whilst Atheara was on the road, and Usanguk was absolutely embarassed by Atheara in Astena. The games were both proper defensive games, with tight posession and counter-attacking based football.

On matchday 4, Barhe was hosting Atheara, whom were on the higher brass of the table. As per course, the second team was starting with the exception of Frederic Van Lieser. The game had kicked off to a quite joyful but slightly tense atmosphere as Atheara planned on racking more points. A Barhe defender had tackled William Renocado just at the 16th minute whilst he was planning to curve the ball in, and it was a yellow. William was taking the penalty, and he chipped the goalkeeper to the top right corner. As early as that it was 1 - 0 with Atheara taking the lead. On the 56th minute, quite some time that had passed (with missed chances from Barhe and very good defence, making it difficult for Atheara to score) after the second half began is where Atheara striked again. Atheara had a corner thanks to a shot stopped by the Barhe goalkeeper. Edgar Faltier striked the ball into the box, with William Renocado striking it away past the goalie, 2 - 0. The cushion had arrived.

Though it wasn't over yet, and that was what William thought. On the 87th minute, William dribbled past the entire Barhe defensive line, and proceeded to have chipped the Barhe goalkeeper to give Atheara that extra edge in a 2 turned into 3 - 0 victory. The away fans were rumpant. And with Farfadillis, and Garbelia drawing their games against Drawkland and Eastfield Lodge respectively, this puts Atheara at first place in group 4. Something most did not expect at first. John Harper was quoted saying with his mouth (not voice) "Honestly? I don't give a fuck about our standing. We will continue to play consistent football. All you can do is continue to play and play, and play until the end of the whole 90 minutes." Something that he doesn't usually try to say after a match like that. No one can really blame him though. The team returned home as they will and had to host Usanguk on matchday 5 for this years qualifiers.

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*  Group 4                            Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Atheara                              5    4   1   0     8    0   +8    13
 2 Farfadillis                          5    3   2   0    16   10   +6    11
 3 Garbelia                             5    3   2   0    11    6   +5    11
 4 Drawkland                            5    2   1   2    11   10   +1     7
 5 Eastfield Lodge                      5    1   3   1    10    7   +3     6
 6 Blouman Empire                       5    2   0   3     7    9   −2     6
 7 Valladares                           5    1   2   2    10    9   +1     5
 8 Torisakia                            5    1   1   3     7   11   −4     4
 9 Usanguk                              5    1   0   4     5   13   −8     3
10 Barhe                                5    1   0   4     3   13  −10     3

Group 4 tables as of matchday 5

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On matchday 5, Usanguk was absolutely destroyed. As the game had kicked off, everyone knew there was no way Usanguk was winning this. Afterall, this was the main Athearan team. With Mugel Krygorf playing in net this time around, things tend to be difficult for opposing teams. And on the 25th minute, that is when Atheara attacked first. A left corner was given after an Usanguk defender had cleared away a shot that Mugel Krygorf made when he had runned up the field from the Athearan side of the field. Toriff wasted no time, as he curled the ball into the net from the set piece, shocking the Usanguk goalkeeper and defenders. Atheara proceeded to continue to have a defensive masterclas suntil the first half ended. In the second half, more goals would be scored. On the 59th minute, Ivan Yesterov - Rukovic had just scored an amazing bicycle kick from a right corner taken by Kanton Oliver - Gruschev. At this point, the Usanguk NT was demoralised. And then, on the 90th it happened again. Luis Frawning himself had scored a hail-mary of a kick, 41 yards out from the box. Before that, he had dribbled past the Usanguk midfield. And then, it ended. Another 3 - 0 victory for Atheara puts them on top of the table.

The next matches for Atheara are going to be a real challenge. Farfadillis at away and Drawkland at the Rekozia Arena. No one knows how many points can be grabbed off these two teams. But with what we have done against top teams in the past, who knows what happens in these two particular matches. Atheara could maybe pluck a draw out of Drawkland and maybe Farfadillis if lucky.

Atheara WCQ 89 Schedule
MD1: Atheara 1 vs 0 Eastfield Lodge   @Astena Stadium, Astena
MD2: Atheara 1 vs 0 Torisakia
MD3: Atheara 0 vs 0 Garbelia          @Rekozia Arena, Rekozia
MD4: Atheara 3 vs 0 Barhe
MD5: Atheara 3 vs 0 Usanguk           @Astena Stadium, Astena
MD6: Atheara vs Farfadillis     
MD7: Atheara vs Drawkland             @Rekozia Arena, Rekozia
MD8: Atheara vs Blouman Empire  
MD9: Atheara vs Valladares            @Astena Stadium, Astena

MD10: Atheara vs Eastfield Lodge 
MD11: Atheara vs Torisakia            @Rekozia Arena, Rekozia
MD12: Atheara vs Garbelia        
MD13: Atheara vs Barhe                @Rekozia Arena, Rekozia
MD14: Atheara vs Usanguk         
MD15: Atheara vs Farfadillis          @Astena Stadium, Astena
MD16: Atheara vs Drawkland       
MD17: Atheara vs Blouman Empire       @Rekozia Arena, Rekozia
MD18: Atheara vs Valladares

This outlet was written by Jennifer Lurendzl, she has written 18 outlets.

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[Ochre Islands]

Television viewers in the Ochre Islands know to turn the news on at a minute before the hour. It's when a narrator breaks in with 'And now, live from Bellflower City, it's the Ochre Islands news.'

Hello Ochre Islanders. This is the news at 17:58. Tonight's top story in the Ochres, the formation of the Carabiniers has taken steps forward today having been approved in the Senate. They will protect the islands from future Bostopian threats, posing as a national-level police force, though will also have a basic level of military training in urban warfare.

The Bostopian navy will this week be patrolling the seas to the north of the Ochre Islands, so fishing fleets and low flying aircraft need to be prepared for heavy ordnance 'test-firing' in the area. Anti-Bostopian activity on the north side of all islands which are on the Ocean of Ayes should be curtailed.

All the details of those items plus other news can be found at the usual address of 10.53.21.847:1093.

Project Alouette – Handsby eighteen-hundred-sixty-five, Grand Ochre four-hundred-seventyfive-seven.

Most residences in the Ochre Islands are connected to a cable tv network, installed at the same time as fibre optics were laid across the islands, to cover up what was going on from the Bostopians. After watching the news at 17:59, they would switch over to the same channel, only on the digital network which everyone knew the Bostopians could intercept and receive as well.

And now, live from New Ranton, it's the news from the Bostopian Anain Claim of the Ochre Islands.

Good evening. Tonight's top stories; the Isles Parliament votes in favour of new safety laws across Bostopia to combat terrorism, Emperor Boston visits a new flower garden and tea-shop within the grounds of Fort Boston Castle, and widespread storms are expected across Port Flamerty State tonight – stay tuned for more on these soon.

[Sarzonia]

All the anxiety about Sarzonia's national football team playing their first-ever match in the beautiful new Shipyard Stadium in Wilmington proved to be for nothing.

The fans there were treated to a great match by all accounts, even those of Sarzonia manager Nathan Hanifer, and Sarzonia earned a 2-1 victory over India to give the team their third consecutive victory after an opening draw against Equestria.

The Stars jumped out to a 2-0 lead over the visitors through striker Jake Campos and midfielder Clayton Wilson being cold blooded from the spot after a cynical challenge cost them the services of forward Cayden Aguirre. It drew a red card from the referee, much to the chagrin of the players and coaches of the visitors. It drew Holly Cambrio making an early for her appearance in the 34th minute as Aguirre was helped off the pitch. But the card seemed to energise the visitors, who got one goal back in the 87th minute, but it wasn't enough to salvage a point as the Sarzonia supporters had something to smile about leaving the gleaming stadium.

As for the match against Zug um Zug at Colossal Arena in Snelling, Hanifer told reporters afterward that his team weren't good enough to walk into an away match against an unbeaten side and expect to waltz to a result.

"I've been telling them that all along, and this match proved my point," Hanifer said, speaking in surprisingly easy tones, although his voice cracking betrayed the fact he'd just re-emphasised the point at an extremely high decibel level with his charges after their 1-0 defeat. Josie Chadwick was the only goal scorer for Zug um Zug, whose extreme defence frustrated the Stars players.

"We knew going in that team would be extremely defence-minded," Wilson said. "We need to do a better job of adjusting to it."

The Stars (3-1-1) will likely regret not getting the full three points against a team ranked far lower in the KPB rankings than their No. 87 position, as their next two matches are a home fixture against No. 62 Saltstead and an away match to The Holy Empire. Even without the buildup of "Saints vs. Sinners" or "Catholics vs. Convicts" for the latter match, the fact remains that a team ranked 87th can't realistically expect to get a result against a team ranked that much higher in the multiverse. They aren't resigning themselves to not getting so much as a draw, but they know anything other than a defeat would require maximum effort.

"We can't afford to leave points behind," Hanifer said. "That could very well come back to bite us in the end."

[Audioslavia]

Build Them Up, Knock Them Down

The phrase 'I'll make you famous' is often attributed to ancient Audioslavian outlaw Billiam The Bairn, who himself rather faded into obscurity once civilisation realised that treating career criminals as comic book characters was a kind of messed up thing to do. The catchphrase lived on, however, and was particularly pertinent on Wednesday night, as Audioslavia defeated a national football side who owes their fame largely to a citizen of Audioslavia. A guy by the name of Jeremy Jaffacake, who you may know as 'that Audioslavian guy', introduced the footballing mainstream to the nation during the fourth series of The Idiot Project, the multiverse's second best YouTube sports documentary, in which the erstwhile bemackintoshed football pundit - turned - football manager - turned corrupt politician - turned has-been Jaffacake announced that Al-Qurija - back then a long forgotten footnote in international football - were actually reigning Unofficial World Champions along with a team called Endray Island who were literally remembered only by Jeremy Jaffacake and nobody else.

Al Qurija's comeback, shortly after the series was aired, is said to be partly down to this new found fame, and although the side quickly dropped their lineal version of the Unofficial World Champioship - one now sat quietly in Anaia waiting for Mriin to fancy playing footy again - their reputation for being a surprising choice as World Champions lives on.

Al Qurija are one of three former Unofficial World Champions in Group Six, along with an Audioslavia side that have won the a version of the UWC ten times in their history (most recently in the AOCAF Cup at the start of cycle 87) and Electrum, a team who have held the belt only twice, albeit one of those times being an epic 25-game reign straddling World Cups 78 and 79, during which time they were apparently Undisputed Unofficial World Champs, although records of their Actual World Cup win have purportedly been lost inside a memory hole.

With Audioslavia's victories over Ancherion and Al Quirja, the Bulls and the Electrumites sit atop the group, both vying for those elusive 1.3-or-so automatic qualifying places

[Alasdair I Frosticus]

Dear Mr Blåuveud,

I want to take a moment to offer unreserved apologies for the misunderstanding arising from the letter sent to the Royal Saltsteadish Football Association on behalf of individuals claiming to represent GOOFI.

In fact, the letter claiming to be from GOOFI was written by some of Shet-Niggurath's mad haggis-loving cultists who, in a fit of enthusiasm, thought that they were genuinely representing the position of the Great Old Ones on the Holy Empire's football team. Indeed, as mad cultists, they were suffering from the misapprehension that you would find the fine print in the letter to be attractive. I deeply regret this incident; there's a reason why most of the team find our mad cultists to be utterly exasperating.

I wish to personally reassure you on certain key points:

• The eldritch entities on the Holy Empire's World Cup 89 squad greatly value fair play and adherence to both the letter and the spirit of the laws of football and the rules of the World Cup. We would never condone match-fixing, and both deplore and reject the unauthorised actions of the mad cultists concerned.
  
• The Holy Empire Football Associations recognises that your victory against the Holy Empire in Ashwell, while undoubtedly an upset, was the result of superior play by the Saltsteadish side, and no form of match-fixing was involved.
  
• The eldritch entities on the on the Holy Empire's World Cup 89 squad assert that no members of the Saltsteadish squad have pledged their immortal souls to the Great Old Ones, and that said Great Old Ones have no desire to accrue further mad cultists - not least because we already have enough problems with the ones we already have (as this incident no doubt demonstrates).

Indeed, as a team we are profoundly greatful (great old ones... greatful... geddit?) to your national side. Going into the qualifiers we were clearly complacent, and took our chances of qualifying for yet another World Cup for granted. The loss to a Saltsteadish squad that was undoubtedly the better team on the day has shaken us out of our torpor, and has directly led to our subsequent victories against Equestria and Acastanha, leaving us much better placed for the forthcoming tricky matches against Graintfjall and Sarzonia. Which, when you consider what usually happens when someone unwittingly raises one of us from our torpor, is clearly all for the best.

We know that this terrible misunderstanding has almost certainly ended any chance that The Royal Saltsteadish Football Association would choose to join GOOFI. This pains me. Nonetheless, rest assured that the offer remains open, and that tea and crumpets remain on the table (in more ways than one) for the return leg in the second half of qualifying. I deeply regret that this incident may have discouraged other teams from joining GOOFI, and I cannot help but notice that none of our other opponents have even mentioned the opportunity to engage with GOOFI since this incident occurred. We spend so much time trying to reassure other realities of our more decent qualities, only for a single unauthorised missive to undermine what we've spent millennia trying to ameliorate. You can imagine the disappointment at the true GOOFI headquarters.

I hope this earnest apology puts your mind to rest on the main points arising out of this incident.

There is, however, one point in your letter that puzzles me, and that's your reference to "taking The Beet seriously".

Why would one not take The Beet seriously? Surely this is one of the finest publications in the multiverse, its fearless commitment to the truth and for uncovering the stories that other media outlets fear to address legendary across multiple realities. Why, here in lost R'lyeh, I consider it among the vital journals that I simply must subscribe to in order to find out what's really happening in Ordinary Reality, or at least one corner thereof. Perhaps you were being deliberately ironical on this point? I understand that some mundies are quite fond of irony.

In any case, you're always welcome for tea and crumpets, whether stopping by for a friendly chat in my cyclopean lair in lost R'lyeh, or in the return qualifying leg at the Imperial Hippodrome.

Sincerely Yours,

Great Cthulhu [Mr]

[Jeruselem]

Aidra Nene (naked) at Dazza Dallas Stadium with young Princess Stella dressed as Haachama holding some lights nearby

Aidra:
Hello, this Aidra Nene for Naked News Jeruselem! We're back at Dazza Dallas Stadium for another World Cup 89 qualifer. Qualifier number 5, after our away game in Aut-Ves-Nat last game. Yes, that's Princess Stella. My lighting assistant has the flu so I just borrowed young Princess Stella so I'm not standing in shadows looking like an idiot. Don't worry, she's just being a lighting assistant today. Don't ask me how a small girl can hold up so much stuff.

Last game Jeruselem traveled to Aut-Ves-Nat and we won 5-2 and we're back home today. Just to recap last round. Commonwealth of Baker Park won 2-1 at home against Flavovespia. Polkopia squeaked 1-0 win over Eshialand at home. Home team Xanneria crashed to 3-2 loss to Kiltoch. The Jovannic won 4-3 at home against Sajnur.

Now for round 5 getting towards the half way point of ... the 1st half. So we didn't get draws last round. Will it happen again?

Sajnur who really more points even at this stage, had to host top seed Commonwealth of Baker Park. And predictably, they got their ass kicked with Commonwealth of Baker Park winning 4-1. So after their initial draw, Commonwealth of Baker Park have 4 wins in a row. They are top seed so yeah.
Kiltoch were at home and visiting The Jovannic has won their last game. But the home made two wins in row, beating The Jovannic 2-1.
Eshialand haven't won a game so far but with a draw against Jeruselem and Baker Park ... you'd think they could? Well they finally put two losses behind them and won their home game against Aut-Ves-Nat, who just happen to be last. It was 4-2 so hey, nothing to laugh at.
Flavovespia took on visting Polkopia, who haven't lost a game yet. And Polkopia still haven't lost a game yet, winning 1-0 against the hosts.

So, no draws once again. I guess that's good for all the winners.
Aut-Ves-Nat are still last, with 1 point from 1 draw. Well, they have 1 point.
Sajnur and Xanneria are 9th and 8th on 4 points. In fact, they have same goal difference of minus 4.
Eshialand despite their recent win, are only 7th on 5 points.
Flavovespia sit in the bottom half in 6th, with 6 points. All from two wins.
Kiltoch and The Jovannic are 5th and 4th on 7 points. They have NEAR identical results with 2 wins, 1 draw and 2 losses. 10 goals scored. The only difference is The Jovannic has conceded 11 goals compared to 12 for The Jovannic.

The top 3 in the group have no losses.
Polkopia are on 11 points in 3rd, Jeruselem also on 11 points in 2nd spot.
Polkopia have an impressive 4 goals conceded in 5 goals, Jeruselem 7 which isn't exactly bad eirher. It's just Jeruselem scores more goals.
Commonwealth of Baker Park top the group with 13 points.
Well the top seeds are showing up including us.

We had a slow start with a draw, then a win and another draw but we're BACK with two wins.
But there's plenty of games in this first half to play.
Yes those two draws are seen at as setbacks but we're moving in the right direction.
9 goals in two games! After just 5 in 3 games.
The important bit is we're keeping goals conceded to very little. 7 is not much, unless you look at Polkopia with 4 and Baker Park with 6.

Say, just for everyone concerned. I've apparently pulled across my own fan based from my former job.
Mind you people look at naked women aren't that different from each other.
And yes I get the usual hate mail from people who watch media channels run by old men with distorted morals.
Actually these people harass anyone who does this job anyway so they can shove their opinions up where it doesn't shine OK

Right, just a comment about my err football knowledge.
I've admitted I don't know a terrible lot but it's not my job to know everything about football.
So that's why we often have guests in the business who do have something do with football.
Look I'm just a good looking parrot who talks a lot, I don't claim to know anything in detail about football.

Actually my brother is a football player but I don't have much to with his career.
But my former job was totally unrelated, you know performing indecent acts on camera for money.
I was a cheerleader at one stage. Jeruselem cheerleaders don't have the best reputations either.

Now, we got something coming up ... other than just the next game.
The official commemorative World Cup 88 coin set. No, not for World Cup 89!
We did pretty good with our manager Pekora Dancer making the finals of World Cup 88.
Hopefully we can with this one too.
Err I don't have the details as yet, that's for later.
They do exist, because Princess Kate has them. Her family does own the company which made them ...

That's all from me.

[Trolleborg]

Greetings, compatriots!
It’s TTV with most actual news about our national football team.
Two most recent our opponents is a living testimony to the things that happened to football players on their way. Osarius have to his name 16 trips to the world championships, two World Cups in row just twenty years ago, and in addition a bronze medal of one of the previous championships. Covello, to continue, has 11 trips to the world championships, silver and bronze of the world cups over the past 10 years, and a place in the World Football Hall of Fame. And both teams are going through hard times, hoping to regain their former greatness. Not the easiest opponents, it can be summed in a word.

OSARIUS – TROLLEBORG 0:1

The first of the two matches was against Osarius, a team led by a young and ambitious coach taking the helm recently, being brought up on stories of past victories and having already tasted the taste of victories by leading the team to the quarterfinal CAFA Cup. And we have to had to play them on their turf. Morten Troghil took the game seriously, putting almost only veterans on the field, which in itself says a lot.

“Firebirds”, preaching attacking football, rushed forward, while moved by their fans from the first seconds. The two players playing abroad were especially nasty - and the question arises once again, shouldn't we try to let our players go abroad, maybe they will gain valuable skills there? And Qanbari tried especially hard, causing problems several times while developing attacks from the depth of field. Although nothing condemning can be said about the actions of our players in defense, nevertheless Kot Kotsson need save his teammates at least three times in the first half. But while on defence our lads don’t forget about attacks – and each attack forced the hosts' players to be cautious for a while, to accumulating new portion of strength before a new roll-off on our box.

The second half began with a sharp attack from the hosts, but almost immediately our team organized its own move. Defenders barely managed to clear the ball for a corner, but this don’t avert worst for them – after an excellent corner kick Valgren irresistibly hit ball by his head.

Frankly, all of us, the journalists accompanying the team, were now expecting a crushing assault on our goal - but, fortunately, the Osarius players were affected by this episode as a boxer who missed blow. It took hosts about twenty minutes to cope with situation, and game after that was still going on in the center of the field, but they were not have enough energy for a repeated series of intense attacks, such as in the first half. Luckily for our players.

TROLLEBORG – SOUTH COVELLO 4:0

South Covello is a team that has lost big part of its former glory in recent years - it seems like it has simply lost the motivation to seriously participate in international competitions. But this country provided a constellation of brilliant players who raised it to such heights that we will can only dream of in Trolleborg, and this in itself require treating opponents with respect.

Fortunately, our lads this time lived up to our hopes, and even more. After first whistle the teams looked closely at each other for sometimes, tried the water, probe for weaknesses. Fortunately, our lads were the first to find something: after an absurd ricochet, the ball bounced into the center of the penalty area, and Troll was the fastest to orientate himself, with a beautiful shot hitting right into the top corner.

The guests started from the center of the field, tried to organize an attack on the flank, lost the ball, somehow did not figure out what to do now, and as a result, two of our players jumped out to Gronholm's pass. Gulbranden had only to get on target and he coped with this task.

2:0 by the 26th minute, a rather good result. Almost immediately, Troll could have made it even better, but the ball rolling right into the corner was parried by the guests' goalkeeper at the last moment.

The second half did not change the overall course of the game – our guys attacked, inspired by the roar of the stands, the guests tried to play in their style, but, fortunately, our team were lucky in situations when Covello succeeded in his plans.

In the middle of the second half, Troll scored a double with a masterpiece – made a skillful shot after referee granted us free-kick near box. No one is clearly understood what was happened apart from the fact that ball is in the net.

And at the very end, the substitute Berglund closed the score after the pass from the flank.

4:0, a really great win. But the most difficult matches of the entire tournament are ahead

[Kelssek]

Frodo's guides Kelssek

S A I N T - R É M Y

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Saint-Rémy is Kelssek’s fifth-largest city and a major industrial centre. While it certainly doesn’t feature in the tourist imagination in the same way as its old rival Outineau, many regard it as a hidden gem as it offers many interesting urban attractions, an intriguing and diverse street food scene, lovely riverside walks and fine historical architecture at a more relaxed and less crowded pace.

Top attractions
Comédie de Saint-Rémy
Architecture – 7, cours de l’Aqueduc, M Porte-d’Étoile
The biggest and grandest of the city’s historic theatres, it regularly hosts world class plays and musicals. If you’re not going to stump up for a night at the theatre, musicians from the city’s Orchestre de Chècidre perform free 30-minute concerts on Thursdays at noon.

Parc de la République
Parks and gardens M Crotton or Coin-du-Parc
The outdoor skittles-like game Pack, best described as something like darts on grass with wooden sticks, is popular throughout Kelssek. The people who play it here seem to take it unusually seriously, especially the rule about having a beer in hand at all times. Fortunately, this rambling green space that marks the northern border of the city centre is big enough for all of them. A good starting point for a walk along the Suter river – follow the yellow-and-blue markers for a route of up to 9 kilometres that ends at the historic former river wharves.

Cours de Champâcret
Nightlife M Grosjean
This street is the main concentration of the most fashionable bars and nightclubs in the city.

• Brasserie Langloisien (194, cours de Champâcret) Once a stuffy haunt of upper managers with a strict dress code, the present management has ditched the attitude while keeping the opulent grandeur. It’s now a favourite of beer snobs with its wide and changing lineup of local brews and an unpretentious but good quality menu of pub favourites.
• Au Lapin Sauté (64, rue Potvin) A pub with a long history and lively atmosphere, its ivy-covered courtyard is a popular after-work spot for the local white-collar herd. Originally much smaller, head to the basement if you want to get a feel of the three-century old public house known as the haunt of novellists like Pierre Lindy and Arin Carignan.
• Le Hideout (89, cours de Champâcret) Saint-Rémy’s destination club, offering up to six different music halls in which to wait for the bass to drop. Come dressed to impress.
• L’Ascenseur (2, rue du Carrée-Sainte-Famille) A live music-oriented bar which brings in a wide range of emerging rock and jazz talents. Its offbeat decor and layout and rooftop terrace attract a young and trendy crowd.

Place du Cinqcentenaire
Landmarks - M Cinqcentenaire
A monumental plaza built in 26 BFE to celebrate the five hundredth anniversary of the city’s royal charter. Reputedly, the Duke of St-Rémy jumped to his death from the top of the 36-metre tall arch when it was clear the revolutionary forces had won the day in 3 BFE, but as no body was ever found the notion that he smuggled his family out west and then resurfaced with a fake name in Kirkenes years later is also widely believed.

Cathédrale Saint-Paul-de-la-Pont
Landmarks - M Métiers
Known for its distinctive striped sandstone exterior and the copper sculpture of the archangel Michael that tops its spire, a hike up the 85-metre hill offers beautiful vistas of the city at the top.

Musée de la Presse
Museums – 251, rue Bastien M Crotton
Housed in the old printing facilities of the Tribune de Saint-Rémy, an enthralling journey through the history of newspaper journalism from the advent of movable type to telegraph dispatches, rooms filled with cigarette smoke and rotary telephones, and the online news revolution.

Suter river trails
Sports and recreation
There's a trail on each bank, marked with yellow-and-blue signs. The left bank is longer and winds through more residential areas of the city, while the right bank route gets through the older and more scenic part of the city. Bicycles are not allowed on the right bank route, which is often too crowded with people anyway. In winter, the left bank route can be traversed on cross country skis or snowshoes, which can be rented at the chalet in Parc de la République or at various shops along the route.

Stade Intersat
Sports and recreation - 605, route Giordane M Saarplein
Kelssek socialism tends to frown upon name sponsorships, but given the community and worker-owned roots of the city's telecoms giant most locals were happy to give this a pass. Home of the decently successful CS Saint-Rémy football club, tickets are best obtained from their website http://www.cssr.ks

[Britonisea]

Latest News
Brityunik Vefecosoin Cairkovoin
http://www.bvc.com/news

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16th September 2021*
Serving nationwide

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Britonisea wins first match of the World Cup qualifiers - but don't celebrate too much!

Britonisea wins their first game at the qualifiers: Britonisea played Ko-Oren (11) in Aloquirbe, winning the nation's first match - but could the Britons be indulging themselves a bit too much?

While home matches are seen as an advantage for the team playing in front of their own crowd, due to Britonisea's ranking compared to that of Ko-Oren, The Britons were expecting a thrashing - but the Aloquirbic audience left the stadium rather surprised...

Aloquirbe is located on the western half of the Terra Centuria continent in Novapax, connected to Wazekia and Taeseon, though also connected to Britonisea via an underground bridge. The underground bridge, called the Aloquirbe Passing, is along the orbital motorway around the capital, Doportedas. With Britonisea playing one of the top countries at the World Cup and with one of Britonisea's finest stadium's hosting, there was a lot of anticipation for the match, causing a huge backlog on the orbital motorway. While Doportedas is a rather spaced out city with usually great traffic management, the city was rather overwhelmed with the inflow of traffic especially after the match which saw Britonisea gain its first win, catapulting the nation from dwelling at the bottom of the table with a single point to four points, drawing in 7th place and only two points away from teams ranked 4th to 6th in the group. While Britonisea still sits low, this win will do a lot to boost morale amongst the Britonish players and fans of the World Cup. The traffic, after the match, was mostly due to people walking and celebrating on the motorway and in the Aloquirbe Passing tunnel - which is illegal. Spokespeople representing the Men's World Cup team have thanked the Britonish audience for the support but have said that they must abide by the laws of the land. The goalscorer for the match was Jacob Thompson - the team captain - who has waited some time to first his first goal of the qualifiers.

Britonisea has had a rough start to the World Cup, but this may be because the country has had to play against mostly those within the top 100. The country is due to now play two nation's ranked in the 100s and two ranked further down which could be easier matches for Britonisea. The nation will be playing away mostly this half and so wins during the first half of the World Cup qualifiers could be a good sign.

* This report came before the match against Bollonich.

[Zwangzug]

The Kerlagrad Courier

RIP in pieces to nametags

Zwangzug defeated Annyeong Oppa in a match notable for the visitors' focus on football rather than their preferred sport, "nametag ripping." "It was kind of awkward shaking hands with [opposing captain] An Jun-Seop because he kept trying to make sure my name really was part of my jersey and not a tag that could be ripped off," noted captain Lissa Crain. "But Fedya [Troy-Vee] and Aimee [Ginoud-Sachs] had it worst during the actual game, the visitors seemed really excited by those hyphens and kept asking the referee if they got double points for grabbing their [nonexistent] tags. Since they come in two parts, you know."

Visitors to Simplex 3, for their part, seemed to appreciate the innovation. "No, we don't go around wearing nametags on our shirts all the time," admitted Arya Mouvin. "But maybe we should. I mean, I'm terrible with remembering faces, it feels much more in the Zwangzugian culture just to be able to look down and see a bunch of abstract symbols rather than both parties awkwardly trying to pretend they know who they're speaking with. We could even wear them on the front so we wouldn't have to creep behind people's backs. Although that might get a little handsy if the ripping thing catches on."

Zwangzug got off to an early lead, after a reckless tackle from Bu Ji-yeong resulted in a penalty kick. Kayla Haugen converted it to put the hosts in the lead. Towards the end of the first half, Jaclyn Burkhart and Gok Yu-jeong got in an altercation. As Burkhart tells it, "she asked me if I would go on a 'spy mission' for her, and I figured she was talking trash about Zwischen, so I told her where she could stick it, and she got mad and figured I was hiding something." After the increasingly bemused referee gave them both yellow cards, however, things calmed down slightly, and a better translator was brought in at halftime to explain to Gok that coach Hak So-won and her teammates really were not hiding any ulterior motives from her, and to Burkhart that no offense to the capital's recent history of infiltrating underground resistance movements was intended.

In the second half, a pass from former clubmate Akhil Sibal set Farrokh Sokhi up for a long-range shot, that nearly hit the crossbar but sailed beyond Ha Byeong-cheol's reach for Sokhi's first-ever international goal. The celebrations were marred, however, when Sokhi pulled off his jersey in celebration, and it was immediately set upon by Noe Gi-mun on a quest to make sure there weren't any tags sewn in.

It is unclear why nametag ripping has gotten such a following in the small Sonnel nation. However, we know it is a society where family names come first, and many of them are duplicated; there are two Baeks in the starting eleven alone, and three Cheongs on the bench. Perhaps in that sort of culture, there's an urge to act out by violently stripping someone else of their clan identifier and forcing them to be left alone and vulnerable. But this is all needless speculation. Really, who are we to judge? If a nation based around a bunch of silly chess allusions, and maybe a couple other random board game allusions, can become a global sporting force, a country based on reality-variety show competitions has every chance of succeeding too.

(Tabarez 40; Axelrod-Conway 24, Suzuki 37, Burkhart 59)

[Schima Bas]

Schima Bas finds 6 points in crucial early matchdays

Hatem Sports Chronicler

Other Headlines from Today

Female footballer fights for Basians to support women's sports, but will hooligans ruin it?

Post-Match interview with Cairo Hatem, whose heroic performance won the match at Melbergia

Basian FA examines possible national football league, no word on if pyramid would be involved

Hatem Sports Chronicler sponsors Golden Crescent, with branded gloves expected for next competition

Hatem Sports Chronicler: The ONLY newspaper for the sporting Basian

Match Report

‘27 - Akili Granada
‘43 - Akili Granada
‘49 - Casildo Hana
‘70 - Meniotos

By Aleticu Corsado | National Team Writer

In the heat of the Dos Arbores sun, on the beautiful field of the Basian Blac Sporting Field, the national team played their second match in the home country. Much unlike the previous match, played in squalid conditions in the northern counties, where barely a stand can be found intact, and the playing field uneven and rocky, this match was played on pristine grass and in a beautiful small stadium recently constructed with investment from Basian Blac, a prospering oil company that started up a few years ago under the Hatem Corp. business partnership fund. The sleek exterior to the complex, a construction of foreign stadium architect Jerrod Bloomington, houses a luxury seating deck with exceptional views of the pitch and a lovely view of the nearby Boreu mountain-range.

The boys came out in their wonderful blue uniforms, complemented by the attendees as they marched into the ground. The match started off to a great energetic pace, as the players were emboldened by the home audience.

The match was ordered, and relatively quiet among the stands, which served to be the perfect environment to observe a game of football. None of the rabble-rousing so common in other football grounds in Schima Bas could be detected. This can be in part thanked by the Blac Guard, a private security team that provided their services to the venue. One man was ejected from the stands in the 30th minute, and had already been on warning for vocal and disturbing outbursts. He apparently went to the game without his family.

Excellent sportsmanship and sporting quality was displayed by the captain, Cairo Hatem, who demonstrated great control of the ball and exceptional decision-making. The sportsman had a series of incredible acrobatic feats in the early part of the game, before finally conceding a lucky goal in the 70th.

In attendance of today’s game was a collection of Basian high-culture and influence. Fashion Mogul Francisco Javier Rivera made an appearance with a classy blue suit, clashing artistically with his snow-white hair. Friends of the Emir crowded the upper decks in the early stages of the match, thinning a bit by the second-half whistle.

The man of the match was certainly Akili Granada, who found two in the net by the end of ninety. He was congratulated by the grandmaster of the match with a glass of Basian merlot, and was awarded a crown of leaves, as is customary of Basian sport.

The next matches in the calendar, against Chromatika and Darmen, will be true tests of vigor for the squad. Things look up for the qualifying long-shot Golden Crescent.

[Lathamford]

The Farmers:: part 4

Ahead of the Lathamford Nationwide League kick-off, Nilson Morrow lined up a large number of Teaham FC originals, and only brought in three new faces, teenagers who were available for free namely, goalkeeper Thidias Cassius, a 21 -year -old released from his contract at Axridmouth. The second player, 17 -year -old midfielder Menas Guildford who once played for Thetford Academy in the Lathamford Academy League, and the third player is a left-winger could also be a striker, Octavius ​​Velutus, 19, a player who once wore a Warleton FC jersey. Midfielder Claudius Bottomford has also agreed to extend his contract with the Farmers, although his name has been linked with a move to another club for a relatively high fee. Goalkeeper Agamemnon Starveling has also agreed to postpone his retirement for another season despite being 33, as has veteran defense midfielder Launce Brookfield, 34, who has agreed to extend his contract for another term. Teaham FC's first game in the Lathamford Nationwide League was against Amberwood FC at home, West Lake Stadium, the spectators were not many, just 4,000 people. Amberwood FC coached by Jethro Barnard, the 51 -year -old coach, lined up many new players including defense brothers Boaz and Bill Schotts who were bought from Coldford FC club in the Lathamford Union League, for $ 100,000 each. In this first match, Teaham FC was beaten 1-3 by the Forester, goals from Shamus Blackburn in the 27th minute, Frederick Claymoore in the 41st minute, and a solid header by Matthias Roland three minutes before the end of the match. The Farmers' consolation goal was scored by Claudius Bottomford in a beautiful free-kick outside the opponent's penalty box. Despite the defeat, the Farmers managed to restrain the opponent's pressure and were able to defend effectively and prevent the opponent from scoring more goals. [Part 1 ׀ Part 2 ׀ Part 3 ׀ Part 4 ׀ Part 5]

[Squidroidia]

OOC: Taking a break from Rivalry and doing something new since the IFCF cutoff is almost upon us!

---

Comparing IFCF Clubs to RLStates Clubs
A simple exercise in trying to pay attention
A blog post by Shotclocking Supersquid

With the IFCF campaign sharply approaching, the world's biggest football teams will undoubtedly have a lot of questions as they all try to chase the Champions League, Challengers Cup or, for your small local side, the Liga B Champions Trophy. None of them will be just how much their team will stack up to the teams on the RLStates forums and who they are most like. Alas, with nothing else to do, I have taken the gauntlet up. RLStates domestic football competitions are different to the teams that chase IFCF glory - Regional tournaments are placed ahead of a small, if non-existent, international tournament, and more often than not regional success is more important than winning against the best teams in the world - Most of the best teams in the world hang out in so-called "European" nations anyway. Enough chit-chat, let's get this underway.

Raynor City United (Valanora) = Real Madrid (Spain)

Let's face it, Raynor City United are one AO Super League idea away from being the IFCF's Real Madrid. Tied for the most Champions League titles in the combined histories of the UICA and IFCF. 4 appearances in the Globe Cup final (Unfortunately losing all of them). A record 7 Cup Winners Cups. Countless domestic honors to boot as well. Both teams are from their capital cities and have used their might to dominate their respective leagues, even if Spain's league is slightly more competitive and constantly roleplayed in the leadup to the cutoffs for UEFA's club competitions. There was that whole Super League debacle that made a bunch of people mad on the forums (So much so that UEFA was rightfully pissed and tried to sabotage the teams Spain roleplayed to join this whole thing), which I doubt Raynor will ever do with the rest of AO. I mean they already lost Audioslavia and a bunch of others to Anaia...

For this example and all others after it, the UEFA-run competition also known as the Champions League will be the direct comparison to IFCF Champions League crowns.

Directus (Eura) = Juventus (Italy)

Unlike the Old Lady, who have had a storied history from front to back when it comes to UEFA's competitions, Directus have only really been a force on the IFCF stage from the latter half of the UICA era to, well, today. They have the most Euraleague titles in history, the most National Cups in history as well, oh yeah, and not to mention 3 Champions League crowns, including 2 in a row in Cycles 3 and 4. Unlike Juve, though, they haven't really gone the path of scandal like Italy did with the whole Calciopoly storyline, forcing Juventus to be relegated to their 2nd tier and, well... I'll just leave it at that. Italy knows how to roleplay though.

Freeport United (Freeport) = Austin FC (United States)

Unless you've been sneaking around on the RLStates forums and happened to glance upon the glory that is Major League Soccer (Trust me on this, you are missing out), you might have no idea about who Austin FC are and why this unknown club is compared to, arguably, the most hated team in the history of club football. Basically, Austin FC are hated by everyone in MLS. The owner of another MLS team, the Columbus Crew, was roleplayed to move the club to Austin (Which had been successfully done before, see San Jose moving to Houston far back in the MLS archives) and, naturally, was met with a fair bit of backlash when MLS was being RPed. (It did help that the United States missed out on qualification for the World Cup because Margaret was bored.) You all know the story now - Local owners buy the Crew, the traitor is given his own team in Austin just because, and everybody hates the team named "El Tree". It's not like how Freeport are hated, but surely this comparison gives you a grasp on everything.

Walstreim Lions (South Newlandia) = APOEL (Cyprus)

Going a bit retro on this one. You all remember the Walstreim Lions run in the Champions League during IFCF Cycle 4, right? A team in their first ever season in IFCF football topping a Champions League group with Brinemouth freaking Freeport "He Hate Me" United and winning the Rising Stars Cup along the way? Closest example I could find is from Cyprus. Yes, I know, Cyprus doesn't really RP a lot when it comes to their domestic league, but when APOEL were placed in a Champions League group in the 2011-2012 season (UEFA is weird like that sometimes) with FC Porto of Portugal, Shakhtar of Ukraine and Zenit of Russia (This was back when Ukraine and Russia didn't RP about a bunch of war stuff) nobody expected a team from plucky old Cyprus to make noise. They topped the group, just like the famed Lions all those years ago. They actually went one better and lucked out a trip to the Quarter-Finals only to lose to, welp, Real Madrid. It was one of those years that showed Margaret was willing to play around sometimes.

1830 Cathair (Audioslavia) = Chelsea (England) just without oil money
Shamrock Cathair (Audioslavia) = Tottenham Hotspur (England)
Cazadores Cathair (Audioslavia) = Arsenal (England) circa late 1990s and early 2000s
AC Izotz Zubia (Audioslavia) = Liverpool (England)

The Audioslavian National League gets as much attention as England's Premier League has been roleplayed - A lot. It only seems natural that I kill 4 birds with one stone and talk about Audioslavia's 4 biggest clubs. 1830 are Chelsea without all the money shenanigans that came from oligarchs splashing money on football, as has been heavily RPed about in some leagues. They're the best team in their capital and, arguably, the entire nation, not to mention the 2 Champions League titles to their name. Shamrock are like Spurs - Allergic to trophies. Unlike Tottenham, however, they did win a couple honors - A National League here and a Kirola Cup there - But have not won an IFCF competition even after coming close so many times. Caza are Arsenal, but not the one England has been RPing the past couple years - Think when luck always had Arsenal on its side from the 90s to the Invincibles run of 2004. And with a Champions League just last term. And ACIZ... Liverpool without all the glory they had. Plain and simple.

I could go on all day with this...

[Torisakia]

We're back with Sports with Bort again. I was going to talking about my biopic Bort Stevens: A Torisakian Tragedy today, but sadly it seems to have fallen through. No film company was willing to take it. I pitched it to nearly 70 different companies, including 21st Century Jackal, Megaversal Pictures, Tarner Bros, even Bixar. No one would take it. Most of them wouldn't even look at the script. They rejected it simply because it had my name on it. Talk about discrimination. Now I know how our homosexual friends felt during the 70s. Chances are I'll have to find some independent company to do it. Might take a drive down to the local university and see if some quirky theatre kid wants to make it for a class project or something. As long as I either get to star in it or handpick who gets to play the role of me, I don't care how it's done. The world needs to see the story of the greatest sports writer who ever lived.

But since that's happening, I'll have to talk about sports again. Torisakia finally won a match in the World Cup, a 1 bagger against Valladares. Sergio Meyers got credit for the lone goal, his third of his international career. Wortham started at goalkeeper again, and did well enough to keep Valladares off the board. Overall it was a decent win, but mostly because it was our first. We still have a lot to improve on though. We're missing too many shots, especially the easy ones. And overall the team seems sluggish and less interested as the match goes along. Apparently they're unaware that the match is a total 90 minutes, regardless of how far ahead or behind you are. Maybe they feel like no one has high expectations for them this year so they don't feel the need to play well? I won't say that's false, but you should still put some effort into the sports you're literally being paid to play. Not many get that opportunity, or at least not one as big as this.

This was more evident in the next match, a 3-2 loss to Garbelia. Torisakia jumped out to a quick 1-0 lead and everything fell apart from there. The tempo slowed down, we became conservative, and basically handed them the game. Garbelia would have the lead going into half time and would not relinquish it. Garbelia once led 3-1 until a late goal by Gregory Franklyn cut the lead to 1, but too little and too late. It's so frustrating when the team starts out well and ends up defecating the sleeping apparatus. This is the second time this tournament that we've blown a lead. The team just can't play for the full 90 minutes. It has to be maybe the first 20 minutes, and then a minute or two sprinkled here and there. Even the teams of old weren't that bad. Sure they may have sucked, but most of the time they always put forth some kind of effort for the full game, no matter how it was going. This team just doesn't believe they have the ability to win.

Honestly I wouldn't even be covering this event if I weren't get paid to do it. This has been probably the least interested I've been in a World Cup that Torisakia has participated in ever. Maybe it's still the hangover from all the stuff from last year and the following sanctions. Maybe I should have just taken the year off, but since I was already gone long enough dealing with my issues I kinda had no choice. Also, no other national team has signed up for any other events. It's likely we won't see any of them in any tournaments until the new year. They're taking in cautious and self-imposing longer international bans on themselves. That's likely for the better, otherwise they would end up as sorry as this association football team. So I'm stuck covering this for now. Maybe I should talk about other aspects of the games, like the lighting, the TV broadcasters, why that one fan in the upper deck was only wearing saran wrap and a water cracker.

Well that's it for today's edition of Sports with Bort. Join me next time as I take you headfirst into a day in the life of my dog Chuggles. Explore every aspect of his life, from the moment he wakes up at 3:42am sharp to 11:04pm when he passes out. Watch him eat, sleep, drink, piss, and everything in-between all in real time. I'll even attach a camera to his head, so you can see what he does in FIRST PERSON. That's right, a true FPS experience in smooth 60 FPS. I'll even wear a camera so you can have that sweet BortVision. A complete 24 hour stream of Chuggles with full chat interaction. All for T$19.99 an hour (plus shipping & handling). Call now!

[Huayramarca]

Bryan Tello is safe and sound

Written by: Enrique Corozo
08/03/1984 – 10:45 P.M.

Always has been a key figure for the Huayramarcan National Team, but this time, Bryan Tello hasn’t been seen as we use to do, 7 goals in the cycle before the third window of matches and Tello hadn’t scored nor assisted in any goal of the Condors, something that alarmed most people but also showed a new stronghold of the Huayramarcan squad, lack of dependence in somebody. But that’s lovely about football, there aren’t such a thing like advanced data patterns that could be entirely precise, it’s an unpredictable nature the one we enjoy in this sport, Tello’s drought would, someday, come to an ending, but nobody expected to have a fast ending, a really fast one.

The Condors were set to receive Ottoman Syldavia in Guayaquil, second time in a row for the team playing at the coast in order to not break any acclimatization routines from them. Syldavia’s football mindset is offensive at first glance, as the manager bets to “double the offense and halve the defense”, Huayramarca had to be aware that the team would try to do some high pressure, that’s why Omar Caicedo needed to do some arrangements to his scheme, favoring quick passes or long crosses, in order to shake away high pressure. The environment was set in Guayaquil for a strong physical display from both sides, hot and humid, the physical toll would be the similar, but Huayramarca got used as the team remained in the city for two weeks prior the match, as they also played Squornshelan Remnant States on Estadio Monumental.

The Huayramarcan side was the first to kick the ball in the match, Bryan Tello passed the ball to Ian Mamani, the midfielder rushed into the rival’s territory, he passed the ball to Gabriel Sayritupac, the winger crossed the ball after getting away from Sebastián Lima, the cross found Tello’s head nodding and sending the ball towards Louis Timothe goal, Tello assured to send it with enough power to the upper left side, Timothe wasn’t able to react and it only was matter of 19 seconds (the fastest goal ever for any Huayramarcan football squad) and Tello broke his drought. A magnificent start for the Condors, Tello finally came back with confidence, Caicedo made sure that pressure wouldn’t be a matter with the Syldavians, since desperation would be ensured for them since the very first minute.

The Condors relaxed the match intensity, Syldavia was still shocked after that bucket of cold water that meant Tello’s goal. Still, Ian Mamani would have a clear chance at the 9th minute with a cross from Gabriel Sayritupac, who was already proving that he would be the differentiating factor of the match, Sayri sent a backwards pass to Mamani, the captain received and controlled the ball, got rid of Martin Jones and Matias Pizzarò and shot to goal, Timothe acted quickly and caught the ball, still, he let a rebound and Tello came for a shot but Timothe stopped it with his chest. Medical attention had to be provided, but nothing serious happened and the game resumed with Timothe on pitch. A corner kick happened at the 14th minute, Mendoza crossed the ball and Bryan Tello nodded in the area, Timothe appeared with more confidence than before and took the ball.

Huayramarca continued to take advantage of its pace, proof of that was a situation at the 18th minute, where Orlando Mina won an aerial duel against Mandela Ramaphosa, Mina passed the ball to Ian Mamani and the latter to Abraham Mendoza, coupling each other for some passes until Mendoza reached the area, the winger didn’t doubt and placed the ball between Timothe’s legs to send the ball into the goal for the second one to the Condors. Madness in Guayaquil, Omar Caicedo in a completely satisfied mood, still, he motivated the players to keep the intensity as much as possible in order to keep or increase the score.

Syldavia had some chances during the first half, as the one they had at the 26th minute, Joe Sunderland received a ball from Martin Jones, Sunderland went deep into Huayramarca’s half, getting rid of Carlos Vilca, Sunderland managed to get into the box and crossed the ball to Jared Kubos, the Syldavian captain failed to do contact in what, if contact was done, would’ve been a goal. Huayramarca’s golden first twenty minutes ensured them control in possession and shots, with a 56% and 4 respectively, against 44% and 0 from the Syldavians. Still, Huayramarca’s ball control did nothing more than increasing, as Ian Mamani, Orlando Mina and Nicolás Allauca were nullifying the rival’s midfield.

Half time came and Omar Caicedo decided to send Nicolás Allauca and Bryan Tello to bench for relaxing purposes, instead, Jonathan Espinoza and Saúl Castillo would be on pitch for the remainder of the second half. Frank De Gaal decided to keep a pressing scheme for the Syldavians, as it was their last resort in order to seek for a goal.

There wasn’t a second half packed with action, instead, it let some worrying circumstances such as Juan Mamani being substituted by Janpier Araya because the former crashed against Jared Kubos and landed badly on the pitch at the 54th minute, Mamani had to be taken to the hospital for preventive issues, fortunately, it was notified that he had minor contusions and he would be able to play the next match. Huayramarca was, by then, struggling to advance as Syldavia was exerting pressure, large crosses from Ian Mamani to Saúl Castillo were proving to be efficient to create dangerous situations, such as a shot at the 68th minute, where Castillo took the ball and smashed it against the crossbar, Orlando Mina appeared, passed the ball and let Sayritupac to shot, but it went too wide.

Ball control and possession continued to be for Huayramarca, while Syldavia was now having more precise passes and influence near the Huayramarcan’s half, as they put their defense line near the half of the pitch. The Condors didn’t enjoy another chance for the remainder of the match, instead, the Syldavians had a couple during the late 80 mark, such as the followings:

82nd minute: A cross from Miguel Santos, the winger passed the ball to Pizzarò, then, the midfield decided to run some meters into the Huayramarcan half and decided to test Araya’s fresh reflexes, the keeper was confident and grabbed the ball with some difficulties, still enough to control and avoid a rebound from the opposition.

88th minute: Similar to the last play, Pizzarò passed the ball this time to Emmanuel Valot, the winger who didn’t had a lot of action during the match, but was able to dribble Kevin Quispe and get into the area, the Syldavian shot the ball against the right post of Araya’s goal, Santiago Chumacero came to the rescue and sent the ball away from goal.

Huayramarca was able to win the match and secure a 4th match with a win, the 3rd one with a 2-0 score, being somewhat pretty solid as they received only one goal in those four matches. Omar Caicedo was satisfied with the players performance, but there was a hard test coming in the shape of Delaclava.

About the match against Delaclava, few words can be writing due to broadcast issues, as Huayramarca didn’t had a chance to receive signal from the match organizers due to contract issues, pretty much resumed in “Huayramarca’s State Television offered a insufficient money amount in order to be authorized to broadcast said event.” Situation that caused stir among the football fans and made the Government to step up and invest more in sport television programs in order to avoid inconveniences such as this one.

Considering the previous regards, press had access to a 4:45 minutes highlights video where only goals and two replays of each one was posted. Bryan Tello reacted early once again, this time it was a 14th minute goal after receiving a cross from Ian Mamani, the striker controlled the ball between Meñica and Cicak and shotted to the left post of the goal defender by Ross. Rahmonberdi Zhusupov started the equalizer route for Delaclava after a long cross to Kent Lindblad, the midfielder controlled the ball and passed it to Lukas Meyer, the striker received a filtered pass and beat Juan Mamani with fashion, nutmegging him and tying the match.

For the second half, according to local match reports and words collected from Omar Caicedo: Mario Ccahuantico, Félix Huamán and Thiago Sepúlveda entered to the match instead of Bryan Tello, Ian Mamani and Orlando Mina. Those substitutions proved to be effective at the beginning of the second half, it seems, because Huayramarca had a corner kick at the 57th minute coming from a sequence of 20 passes. Abraham Mendoza crossed the ball and Santiago Chumacero nodded it, sending it into the goal of Ross. Huayramarca’s satisfaction didn’t lasted 5 minutes as the Delaclavans tied the match, Dathan Ingram received a pass from Meyer, both strikers did an association play in order to reach the box and sent a crossed shot to beat Juan Mamani and equalize the match for the Delaclavans.

After arriving to Huayramarca, Omar Caicedo had some words for the press “It was a couple of interesting matches, against Syldavia we demonstrated that we are capable to settle things for good since the beginning, we can be intense. There was a lot of possession and precision for us, but we could’ve scored more goals if we wouldn’t relax a lot during the first half.” Meanwhile, for the 2-2 draw against Delaclava, Caicedo said “Away draws are always welcome. We have evolved a lot, Delaclava put five past us in our first cycle at Sechura, then we got a 0-0 against them in a sheer luck for us. Now we had control during the match but not enough to keep the result, still, a 2-2 makes us earn a valuable point in the road that it always will be welcome for us.”

“During a World Cup Qualifier, the most points you get away, coupled with good performances at your home turf, may help you to get a decent campaign.”

In regards the fourth window of matches, Caicedo said “We will face Nephara in a crucial match, we have faced them two times prior and stalemates were ensured back in Distrito Metropolitano, Sechura will be a special ingredient as we don’t have the height advantage, but I’m sure that our players are capable to play in said conditions against them, as I told my team, 11 humans vs 11 humans.” About the record against Nephara “Not a great one but things could change sooner than later, let time speak and show us the happenings, but we need also to keep in mind Martune, it will be important to avoid letting drop points and keep as high as possible in the leaderboard in order to avoid having worries.”

[Lathamford]

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Strong rumors say Industrialist Eddie Ghoftmann, who now holds a 3% stake in Dinamo Thetford FC is planning to buy Neford FC who plays in the Lathamford Nationwide League. Ghoftmann along with two other unknown investors plan to bid for 80% of Neford FC shares to make him the biggest shareholder in the football team. Neford FC, which is currently wholly owned by Neford City Council, plans to receive outside investment to further increase the club's funds and assets. Neford FC, who previously ranked 10th in the Lathamford Nationwide League, became Ghoftmann's latest target when they failed to secure Teaham FC earlier this season. For the record, Eddie Ghoftmann is the owner and CEO of Crowndust Casino & Spa, owner of the largest casino and spa chain in Lathamford with ten branches as well as an overseas branch. Eddie Ghoftmann is also the co-owner of Trixs, an online sales portal that began growing in Lathamford and chairman of the board of directors, Aros Robotic System, a defense robotics company also based in Lathamford. If this news is true, then Neford FC will get a huge overflow of funds as well as make them one of the richest clubs in the Lathamford Nationwide League. When contacted by SportLink, Ghoftmann did not deny the news but declined to comment further. The acquisition package is understood to involve the payment of Neford FC’s debts worth $ 5 million Latham Coin.

MD6: Lathamford vs. Srednjaci
@Thousandforks National Arena (30,000) ׀ Game Sponsor: LathamLube

Glowsnarl
Wolfsong - Skelmersdale(C) - Barrington
Wymondham - T. Ashleigh -du Graypelt - Selfridges
Falconderry - Clawbrand - Farrowsteam

MD7: Agresos vs. Lathamford
@NA ׀ Game Sponsor: NA

Glowsnarl
Wolfsong - Skelmersdale(C) - J. Ashleigh
Wymondham - Wyvernchaser -du Graypelt - Colfield
Falconderry - Clawbrand - Farrowsteam

[Sharktail]

Matchday 4

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Transvocanic 1-3 Sharktail
Shark:(Azaim '34, Win Aziz '61,
Rawilson '88)

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PotM: Harold

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Sharktail Line up:
Maxter
Harold
Maqri
Yusri(sub)
Irfan Danial
Shafizan
Azaim (c)
Nazmi
Mokhtar
Balang (sub)
Win Aziz

Sub
Honer Harizul
Rawilson

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Matchday 5

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Sharktail 6-3 Murderbum
SHT:Ilias '8, Balang '24,
Ilias '33 pen,Azaim '57,
Harold '74, Win Aziz '80)

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PotM: Azaim

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Sharktail Line up:
Maxter
Harold
Maqri
Afifi(sub)
Izz
Than Kadir(sub)
Azaim (c)
Nazmi
Aidil
Balang
Ilias Rezal (sub)

Sub
Yusri
Twin Zairo
Win Aziz

Nazri TV
Official by SFA

Hello and good morning everyone. Thank you for being here today. As always, welcome back to everyone who have been here before and welcome to everyone new. Its me, Nazri as your host. We talk, we discuss, we analyse, we critic, all in one, here in Nazri TV.

I hope you guys are doing good. So am i. Glad to hear all you guys are good. As for me, same as always, the energetic midle age man. I think you guys already noticed something different today, right? What, what is different. The walpaper behind my back? Sharktail logo on it? I good in editing, so i create one. My room look big? I move go bigger house cause i am rich. Do you believe me?

Eh, why not? This is not my room? Huh, find, find. Yeah this is not house, my room or even my restaurant. As you can see, in the bottom they are certificate of SFA, so it mean this is officially connected to SFA. I dont know for how long do we be here, but let's enjoy each moment here. Also, for your information, Sharktail Post still the main partner. So, i using my beautifull sweet mouth to discuss with them the possibility for me to read their article in my stream. After all, i will be the one who share, so that's mean their article cannot be seen by everyone, so this idea is good. How clever i am. Haha, ok let stop before i going to reach the moon with my own greatness.

So, let see their article. I will read it for you and you will be able to see it later in their website. http://www.sharktailposttoday,com. So this is it,

Sharktail Post ep 53
The sun finally appear.

What an awesome title,but what the sun here refer? A person,a thing or a story maybe? Who know, let continue.

Thanks, that the world come out from every Blue Army after seeing Sharktail performance in matchday 4 and 5. Who will not happy, after the poor start, this team ended up in the bottom of the group, can be considered the worst team in the tournament this time.

For this part, for me myself as self proclaimed Blue Army, I am happy with the result this time. As i said before, we got something going on behind our back, so as for me, i dont really expect big from Sharktail this time. It not a hate comment but i am the one work behind the scene, so that my thought only. Ok let see, next.

The changes in almost the entire team, with the return of a lineup of experienced players in the team, clearly had a positive impact. Azaim’s return to the national camp, with the presence of Harold, Maxter, Maqri shows the team looks more organized. Their role as leaders in addition to their extensive experience in the professional arena is clearly an advantage over the junior players.

As for this, i would say, the youngster have something to show in their sleeves, but for veteran, they have something that cannot be gained just by turning into pro player. It was the experience as also the oast situation that may come in use any time. Both are better, but for me this is right as we dont be competitive enough even in domestic.

SFA make a decision to call back Carrol as he one of the person who know Sharktail in and out most. He has been going around seeing the philosophy of Sharktail Football for more than 10 years, no doubt he is good enough. Not guarantee a success will come but nothing impossible. One more important part is almost every national team member know Carrol, so not see like his appointment will be a big problem for Sharktail.

I meet him a few time before. We talked quite a lot. For me,i will just say he is the man who know what he want to do and how he want to doit. When he making a decision,he is the man who ready to tolerate and accept everyone idea but once he seal that, no one can change it. I dont think that have something to do with topic but better you guys know him better.

Disappeared without any trace in the first 3 matches, finally the captain, Azaim back to the squad. As they stated it has something to do with the past managemnet, due to their decision not to talk anything, we better not break the harmonize right mow. As always, a top class performance from him. It not really against big team, but surely his presence in the center midlfield are big. Ilias Rezal seem can be roaming around freely and dont need to go deep to get the ball. A great improvement.

How can i forget the 85 edition, the performance that made him shine and get the attention from big club around the multiverse. I must say, he one of the best player we ever have, after Gaby ofcourse. For Gaby, you dont need to say anything, his presence alone are great. A great leader on the pitch. At first everyone doubt about him but later he always become our here, his name keep getting mixed in our daily conservation, from nothing to something. Maybe that how i can describe it.

With games 6 and 7 to follow, Sharktail needs to be more focused on ensuring their chances are not closed. Failure may lead to the earlier removal of Sharktail in this edition. Let's echo more support for Sharktail. Go the blue predator.

That the end for this episode. Not really long but stack of information for sure. Anyways, like what stated there, we as the supporter need to keep support them. Win or lose, we stand behind them. Before we end, i seen a post from Carrol. He post that he got appointed in short notice but glad that they won in the first game.



Ok , so that's all for today, see you next time. From me Nazri, to you audience, that how Nazri TV is. Good bye.

[Twicetagram and JYPe]

Beauty of Life: Chapter 2

Dhairon and Hugo looked out to the sparkling reflection of the moon on the water. It had been half an hour since they met along the boulevard by the sea, and they hadn't said anything to each other. Dhairon enjoyed the scenery at the pier as cruise ships and small boats floated along the river. Hugo was busy window-shopping at the many fashion shops along the boulevard.

Hugo finally broke the ice.

"The sensation of a busy night by the river is nice," he commented. Dhairon nodded. He was still pondering about the promise Hugo had made the night earlier. He knew that Hugo had told him to come to the boulevard for a purpose, but the purpose wasn't clear yet.

After a pregnant pause, Dhairon responded, "You've a point." He weakly smiled. If he were to seem more friendly the least he could do was to feign interest. Coloured lights were strewn across the lampposts that brightly illuminated the area. The shops yelled for customers to stop by. The river, as tranquil as it was, quietly crashed into the boats passing by. It was a pretty typical night in Twice Square as Hugo had said a few nights earlier, yet this felt like a whole new experience to Dhairon. It was as if he was a tourist.

Hugo turned to Dhairon with excited eyes and a curious aura.

"So, what'd you wanna do? Shop? Board a cruise?" Hugo massively overestimated the amount of money Dhairon had in his wallet.

"You know, maybe we can put off spending money till another time," Dhairon answered with a hint of hesitation. Hugo instantly understood what he meant.

"I could buy some stuff for you. No refunds," he offered. Dhairon was contemplating the deal. It did seem enticing, and not having to refund the favour made things a lot more better. Dhairon remember a book from the bookstore that he wanted to buy. Maybe he could land his hands on that.

"Sure," Dhairon responded. Before he could say anything else, he was dragged to a clothing store. He should have known none of his teammates were book enthusiasts. Upon entering the store, Hugo gave some sort of lecture while going through some suits.

"First things first, fashion sense is integral to putting on a good impression on others. Having a mismatched wardrobe will make others think of you weirdly," Hugo handed Dhairon a khaki suit, "Here, try this." Dhairon wanted to roll his eyes. He was a part-time footballer, not a model. Om sexond thoughts, however, maybe buying a few clothes wouldn't be so harmful.

For the next 30 minutes, Hugo went through all the clothes the shop had on offer.

"Try this!"

"Maybe you'd look good in this."

"This might suit you!" And yadda yadda.

Dhairon felt a bit shocked at the other's enthusiasm for this. It was as if he were buying clothes for himself. Dhairon himself didn't say much. He looked at Hugo excitedly rummaging through jeans and t-shirts while having an internal debate on the usefulness of an expanded closet. He felt like an alien trying to get into grips with human culture while his mortal friend was a bit too excited for him.

After making a purchase, Dhairon suggested another idea.

"Let's go to the–"

"I'm famished. Let's grab some food while we're at it."

Dhairon gaped at the person's lack of awareness.

Not before long, the duo were leaning on the railings by the river, admiring the view. Hugo had a bottle of soda and a bucket of chickens which he never seemed like finishing. Dhairon sipped on his bottled water.

"Nice view innit? What do you wanna talk about?" The former asked. Dhairon simply wanted to chide Hugo about letting others complete their sentences first. He was both amazed and annoyed at Hugo's inability to read the room.

"So, what are you up to these days?"

---

The two talked about their hobbies and interests. Hugo was a film geek. Dhairon prefered a good story of fiction. They both were artistic people, but had very varying opinions on their favourite type of literature.

Dhairon had never been so open about himself before. It was as if he was coming out of his little cocoon in ages. He'd never felt so fresh. He felt relieved that he could tell someone about himself. He was happy that Hugo had even reached out to him in the first place.

"So, today was a good day, no?" Hugo queried. Dhairon thought that having a quiet walk along the river was a much better experience than trying to socialise with people in a bar. He felt more calm and composed. However, there could only be one more thing to top this night off, and it was-

"Well, time to go back to the hostel. See you tomorrow!" Hugo waved with a huge grin and skipped away.

Dhairon guessed the book could come later.

[Geektopia]

SportsSurveillanceCams.com Pickup of the Month for September: Inspiring debut press conference directed by Hojnacki lifts Geektopia spirits

Hojnacki
"Wow, this team has really changed since I last saw them as a young three thousand eight hundred fifty year old fitness trainer playing a game against Kelssek which would have seen them coming out of the gates of Isleshore Stadium emotionally beaten, manipulatively bruised, and physically pulled to pieces. Every formal member of our national team had to announce their retirement, except for my managerial predecessor who was as cunning as he was ruthless. I’m sure you all felt his wrath drawing in a three all game to Bostopia, they looked finished in the qualifiers that you lot played in but they are a nation which used to be feared both at home and as visitors being hosted by the nations who feared them. I will play devils advocate here and say that Dingledine took a misstep looking at Bostopia in their last five cycles and not sizing them up to be greater opponents that should’ve been taken more seriously as two time Cup of Harmony champions. With that, I will from here teach you how to respect your opponents as well as yourself, but not too much. I implore you; push yourself to the upper limits of what you can take! Push your opponents to the upper limits of what they can take, and strike at any opportunities to make them crack! Any questions?"

Ringwald
"So, how did you land the job? And how much push did it take to convince corporate to do so, given your only experience being a fitness trainer comes from the outer reaches of the country in MarinoSan Gym?"

Hojnacki
"Is this Ringwald talking?"

Ringwald
"Affirmative and also, are we going to ditch the 3-4-3 system from here on out? It’s the only thing that gives us a semblance of an idea how to play football."

Hojnacki
"So, I’ve got two things to say in regards to your questions. How is it that you know the gym where I used to work? Is the GFF website that open about their managers in present and in past? What a stupid act of sheer folly! Before I’m done completely transforming the success of our group I’ll do so to the website first, or at least ask a site moderator to Tippex out my records as if they were erasable. And in regards to the second question, I admire Dingledine for taking you to a World Cup and even getting you out of the group stages, despite his mental, physical, and spiritual lack of sanity and consistency in really anything. It is for this reason I keep the 3-4-3 system in place and if it fails us in the next two qualification attempts, I’ll institute a new tactic. So in this case, if you were to look up to this tactic as if it were a father figure of some sort, one could say this is just a character building exercise for the lot of you. Although there is one father figure I can’t get back as a fan of the beautiful game in our country, and that’s a visit to the famous Isleshore Stadium in which we fended off Starblaydia spectacularly to win the contest by two goals to one. Loui was a central figure in that one.."

Swadley
"I believe, along with the rest of the room, that we are getting off topic. I am honored that we have a new manager following Dingledine’s resigning from post. Do you know if you’ll act the same as he was with my game time, looking like a mere doppelgänger of the evil man from Mordecai?"

Hojnacki
"What do you mean by ‘game time’, and who is getting it more than you? I can’t see any other goalkeepers in the training room. I’m a fitness trainer, and I’ve been known to associate with a lot of different people, but I’m only really learning the ropes when it comes to coaching, and haven’t had connections with coaches prior to coming here."

Swadley
“Game time is an important prerequisite to a player’s happiness, and when I tell you I haven’t been started on the eleven in an international match for nine hundred years, even though I’ve been developing my passing for the 3-4-3 system we’ll be using and even occasionally have beaten Lertora when it comes to several departments of goalkeeping, does this seem fair? Up to his departure, Dingledine has been trying but failing to resist making four or five substitutions a pop in our qualifiers, hell, even international friendlies. And I bring this up to show you that he has neglected my services time and time again. When he substitutes half of the field off, I have this sudden phosphoresce of hope as well as hankering in regards to me being picked up. Will you be doomed to make the same mistakes as your predecessor, now that you mention him being inferior to you in some ways?”

Hojnacki
"You see, there’s a problem regarding your fitness that Dingledine told me about before I took charge, more specifically your clean bulking and lack thereof. I was told that you needed to ‘build effective habits and stop being destructive’ by the ex-gaffer. It’s crazy that you’ve been held back nine hundred years for this reason and still haven’t realized it yet, but eventually someone had to pick up the pieces for you. I’ll show you what you can do in the coming weeks to get a starting slot, but here and now I’m going to illustrate it for you. Firstly, one has to calculate their calories/energy balance and as an end goal, find how many calories to eat per day to then steep themselves in a surfeit of some sorts. As a second step, one would obviously need to know how to turn these carbs into fats, proteins, and nutrients. Posit your gram of protein per pound of body weight to .4115, to maintain the simplicity I’d round it out to about point five grams, or half of one gram of protein per pound of body weight. This is all fairly accomplishable, so don’t blame me for getting nasty if you don’t push yourself to improve in these ways come after the Natanians and Nosts game. It’s your road to redemption!"

Hojnacki
"And as for you, Lertora, the Dings told me you’ve seen hell on earth since that Unbromatisis diagnosis that only occurred so recently, which is somewhat of a rare strain that paralyzes your eating capabilities. If I’m not mistaken, every muscle in your body will blow up to the width of a conch and the height of a lance if you have breakfast, lunch, and dinner on the same day no thanks to this immutable condition! I can see you’ve been living this restricted ‘one meal a day’ life very effectively and have been starting over a marginally more normal goalkeeper, but even still, I can give you an account of how to better yourself just through some pointers, OK? Reason being that Swadley is going to start in nearly every match and may give you some competition after I’ve concluded his training which will convert him into a more athletically unmitigated sportsperson."

Lertora
“I train myself and constantly inspire upstarts with this gimmick. How can I possibly hold up my reputation of being a self-starter training under another person? It just doesn’t make any sense. What can you possibly better about my Unbromatisis methodology, my way of dealing with the affliction that yields the best ramification?”

Hojnacki
I’ll reveal this intel to you post-Tamgu. For now, complete eradication for one month involves a way to make peace with yourself everyday, a viridescent lark’s feather, and two quarts of fish oil.

Hojnacki
And with that, big G’s, small E’s, blast off!

(Everyone) — Big G’s, small E’s, blast off!

---

Geektopia 5-2 Natanians and Nosts

---

Goals: 14' (#17 Rolke | GEE | free kick), 22' (#18 Ion Viktor Enderssen | NTN | right-footed shot | assisted by #25 Niels Numídio North), 29' (#29 Diminno | GEE | left-footed shot | assisted by #13 Julio), 39' (#7 Abdill | GEE | left-footed shot | assisted by #24 Ringwald), 57' (#18 Germain Sophie | GEE | header | assisted by #20 Rinnert), 76' (#16 Michel Carvalho | GEE | own goal | assisted by #13 Julio), 83' (#18 Ion Viktor Enderssen | NTN | right-footed shot | assisted by #54 Jack Kramer)

Player Ratings

LERTORA: 8.0
DIMINNO: 8.9 (↓ 44' for #3 Autianna 'ardiquswaa)
LIVENGOOD: 7.95 (MISSED PENALTY IN 29')
GERMAIN SOPHIE: 9.0
RINGWALD: 8.5
GERKING: 8.0 (↓ 20' for #13 Julio)
MATKOWSKI: 8.0 (↓ 2' for #34 Jakius Krutiqayir Tarun)
GERMAINE SOPHIE: 7.9
RINNERT: 8.4
ZALIE 'AMQUK: 7.9
ROLKE: 9.0 (↓ 34' for #7 Abdill)
--------------------------------------------
AUTIANNA 'ARDIQUSWAA: 8.0
ABDILL: 9.0
JAKIUS KRUTIQAYIR TARUN: 8.0
JULIO: 8.65

Gatchingerrak Union 0–1 Geektopia

---

Goals: 42' (#8 Matkowski | GEE | right-footed shot | assisted by #29 Diminno)

Player Ratings

LERTORA: 8.0
AUTIANNA 'ARDIQUSWAA: 8.0
GERMAIN SOPHIE: 8.0
LIVENGOOD: 8.0
JULIO: 8.0 (↓ 2' for #29 Diminno)
MATKOWSKI: 8.9
GERKING: 7.9
REBIMBAS: 8.0
RINNERT: 7.95 (MISSED PENALTY IN 36')
ABDILL: 8.0 (↓ 22' for #6 Germaine Sophie)
ROLKE: 8.0 (↓ 22' for #24 Ringwald)
--------------------------------------------
DIMINNO: 8.4
RINGWALD: 8.0
GERMAINE SOPHIE: 8.0

[Eraman]

Eraman was third-placed at the end of the first World Cup 89 qualifiers window racking up 6 points after two wins and a defeat in the first three matches. But the highlight of the first international window was not on the performance of the team. Rather, the attention was on the neighboring country of Lathamford as they welcome the visit of Sylestone. Lathamford shocked the much-fancied visiting team but that's a different story. It was the Sylestone's players that caught the attention of the Melayuans. They are something else.

Sylestone is a country in Esportiva. It is inhabited by sentient kitchen appliances. So when they lined up with a sentient brick wall in goal and a sentient tumble dryer as their lone striker on their visit to Lathamford, it got the people talking to the point where the leaders of the Melayu Archipelago countries have to meet in Thousandforks, the capital city of Lathamford to discuss the matter.

Ten leaders of ten Melayu Archipelago countries met on the day of Lathamford's home match against Talamia in the 89th World Cup qualifiers at Thousandforks. This is the second time the leaders of the Melayu Archipelago met to discuss the region's interest after the meeting in Ladonka a few years ago that ended up as the funeral of the leader of Belfitz. They talked and talked for hours in the closed meeting and finally signed something, a declaration which reads as:

THOUSANDFORKS DECLARATION

MINDFUL of the need of to establish firm cooperation in Melayu Archipelago;

CONSCIOUS of the existence of other sentient beings outside of Melayu Archipelago;

CONSIDERING that the countries of Melayu Archipelago share the responsibility of maintaining the stability of the region;

COMMITTED to ensuring Melayu Archipelago as a safe haven for the human species;

DO HEREBY DECLARE:

FIRST, the establishment of an Inter-Regional Association among the countries of Melayu Archipelago to be known as the Association of Melayu Archipelago Nations (AMAN).

SECOND, that the purposes of the Association shall be:
1. To preserve Melayu Archipelago as a safe heaven for the human species;
2. To maintain peace and stability;
3. To promote cooperation on matters of common interest;
4. To upheld human rights, freedom of speech, freedom of religion, freedom of association and the equality for all of its citizens

THIRD, that the following shall be established to carry out these purposes,
(a) AMAN Summit, an Annual Meeting of Heads of State or Government of the Member States, which shall be by rotation.
(b) AMAN Secretariat, under the chairmanship of a Secretary-General which shall be appointed by the AMAN Summit for a non-renewable term of office of five year.

DONE in Thousandforks on Matchday 5 of the 89th World Cup qualifiers
For the United Kingdom of Lathamford: Gabriel Farbridge, President of Lathamford
For the Peaceful Realm of Hundredstar: Rachel van Tailcourts, President of Hundredstar
For the Crowned Federation of Samudera Darussalam: Kayang Muhammad, Mangkubumi of Samudera Darussalam
For the United Kingdom of Pemecutan: Ngurah Agung Kusumajaya, Patih Agung of Pemecutan
For the Peaceful Realm of Oakwood Landing: Crawford Pierson Robert Slater, Prime Minister of Oakwood Landing
For the Kingdom of Eraman: Rendra Usin, Bendahara of Eraman
For the Federation of Sendhang: Paulus Etamba, Mahapatih of Sendhang
For the Southern Palm Islands, Devdatta Akiraman, President of the Southern Palm Islands
For the Sultanate of Sharktail: Tengku Muhammad Hazim, Crown Prince of Sharktail
For the Federation of Acastanha: Joao Makarin, President of Acastanha

That marks the formation of the Association of Melayu Archipelago Nations (AMAN), a historic moment for the participating nations.